 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia Yeah, every last bristle It's the last smidge of soap out of your ear What do you everything? No soap. No soap for the sake of peace Well, and that's my cue to get up Just because I have to get up at six o'clock in the morning doesn't mean that you have to get up, too I know I don't have to I just want to Dark and cold Hold your teeth and Hours yet back in bed and go to sleep. I'm going downstairs the kitchen and fix you a good hot breakfast You are so stubborn. You bet. I'm stubborn when it comes to you eating Let's drive all the way to Long Island on an empty stomach. Yeah, who said I said Besides I had no intention of it I know I know you're not gonna tell me that you stop off at some roadside place or other and that's a cup of coffee to Be had is in a diner. I'll tell you that. The best cup of coffee to be had is right in your own kitchen, my lad You need to walk off by themselves I Know you once you get started in that car. You won't stop for anything. You seem to know my own mind better than I do Of course, I do much better So I have everything all arranged darling. What's more? It'll save your time, too I take it. There's no point in arguing not at all absolutely none dress warmly David. Now you stick to your cooking and I'll stick to my dressing But I still wish you'd go back to bed. David, please put a sweater on underneath your jacket. I am plenty warm Now look, there's no point in talking sense to you isn't there? No, no point at all. Well, guess not You men consider it very smart to brave the elements unprepared. It's the height of achievement. Oh, I can see that I can see that if you want me to go to Long Island on a full stomach You better get out of that kitchen and boil them eggs. That's right. Throw my responsibilities in my face You want some bacon? Just an egg will do. Long Island's an awfully long way under there. I think I'll get there On two eggs and four wheels. Thank you. Well, they're already on the side of the stove, David The wheels are the eggs. Eggs. Oh, and water in the pan ready to boil coffee in the percolator So all that's left for it is just a perk for you. Mm-hmm. Does the coffee know that? Of course it does. I told it. No Do I or do I not get a kiss for being so organized? Don't sidetrack me. Which tie you like best? I have to drive all the way to Long Island. Be rad, I think. You better kiss me now because it'll have to last you a long, long way Oh, I think I could go to the North Pole on that kiss almost. Then get out of the kitchen or better yet get back in the bed And I'll get out of the kitchen. Nope. To the kitchen it is. If you're all ready, you can come along too You see you can be drinking your juice while the eggs boil on the coffee perk Well, you better give me a timetable to be sure I follow your schedule. All right, I will You know we're whispering so we won't wake up Mama. Oh, is that what I didn't know It would have been much simpler if you'd just let me sneak out without all this bother. It's not a bother. It's a pleasure Careful now it's dark Practically is the middle of the night You know the very last thing I expected when I married an architect was to have him going to work in the middle of the night As a matter of fact, I never thought of you going to work at all now that I think of it Is that supposed to be a compliment? Mm, in a sort of a way Well, here is the kitchen. Oh put on the light will you? Yeah, let there be light And there was like imagine David get your orange juice out of the refrigerator while I get the coffee perking You're so bossy at six in the morning orange juice is all strange David. There's not a pit in a carload Oh, what a pity. Oh No too early in the day for pommies puns for breakfast. I don't know if I like puns for breakfast. Oh, no. Oh, no Oh, yes. Oh, yeah Water for the eggs be boiling in the midst so you can put the toast in now Have you been awake all night figuring this out? No, not at all comes naturally to me Now in go eggs I'm starting to feel like a troop movement. There's no reason for you to be self-conscious darling I'm having a lovely time getting you underway Be something to tell our children about now. I'm glad I know the reason The coffee's about ready to percolate. Have you drunk the juice yet? What have you heard from the toast Just going down now. My you're not cooperating David. Are you going to have any? Oh, just give me a sip of yours. Um, it begins have a sip. Hey, that's enough. Hey, hey, hold Do you want me to break your egg? No, just put them in the egg cup. I'll eat them out of the shell. Okay one two There Now David tell me honestly isn't this nicer eating it eating at home than in an old diner by the side of the Road, I don't mind diners the company's interesting after all my work and planning such gratitude This gives you pleasure. I'm willing to cooperate. Well, that's very decent of you old chappy Well, I have a decent sort of fellow old chap here. Well Toast is toasted your coffee is poised And smells good. It is good. Hey, it's getting late. I'd better finish breakfast on the double No, no, please don't hurry eating there. I know but I'm eating roger in long island eight o'clock Please don't rush driving. Now don't start telling me how to drive. It's awfully dark out, David I bet there'll be some ice on the roads now. Now drive carefully. I always drive carefully. And call me when you get to Long Island. I certainly will not. Well, tell Roger to call me when you get there. Now, if you're going to sit here Worrying about me all day. I'm not going to be very comfortable. Do you realize that? Well, I don't intend to worry all day. It's just nice to know you got there and everything My little ball and chain. That's me Yeah, that's all I have time for David, you didn't drink your coffee. Well, you drank it. But the whole point was to see you out of decent breakfast You already I want a little measly egg. No one little measly egg is all I wanted. No coffee. Oh, you're impossible. Where's my coat? Put on robbers. I'm not walking too long island. They keep your feet warm. Well, they're bad for your eyes when worn indoors Oh, no, no, no, that's only a rumor. Well, I will not wear robbers. No sweater, no coffee, no robbers You are so pig headed Well, use your hat. You got one big enough for a pig head My hat I will wear. Speak of you. I'm off. Oh, I'll come to the garage with you It's cold out now. You stay in the house. I have my coat on go on open the door go on go on Don't waste time standing around the hall. I wish you'd stay in the house Stay in bed. Stay in the house. You know, I'm really only coming so you won't waste time kissing me around the house I suppose you'd rather waste your time kissing you around the garage This is when you kiss me around the garage Look, David. At what? Till no light out pitch black freezing Bet you nobody else is up at all except Fritz who's halfway up to Hartford by now How does that man do it? I just don't see it. It's time for little girls to be in bed Not little girls who have little men to get underway. You're pretty smug this morning, aren't you? You blame me? David, you know when I first married you I was just dope You were? But have you changed? Have I changed? Have I changed? Well, I remember when right after we were married you had an early appointment like today And I got up to give you breakfast like today Now well, I remember the eggs were boiled hard as marbles and the coffee hadn't even started Imagine and you finally had to leave the house without a thing between your ribs for a day Me hot. That's all me hot. You see how you can stand such an incompetent wife? I couldn't. I'm a man of strong character Well, anyway, I couldn't have stood me. You certainly were And I'm a man of strong stomach too. Doesn't have to be so strong anymore, does it darling? Now that I'm so organized I shall allow my character to relax and take a well-earned vacation. You'll do that Nice of you, ma'am Oh my arm is stiff from patting myself on the back Stuck? No, it's all right Oh Gosh, the garage is nice and warm. Feels good, doesn't it? Maskedoodle back to the house. Your duty and done. I I hate to see you go, David. Well, don't try and think of things to detain me You can say that after all I've been thinking about is making things easier for you. Well, you just keep up the good work Darling Thank you. You have been sweet Drive carefully For the umpty ump time I will drive carefully. Now get out of the way Go on. Go on start the car. I'm up against the wall Keys Do you have the keys, David? Of course I have the keys. I no need to be so snippy about it Uh, you know after turning on the ignition, David, you press the starter. Well, thank you for telling me. You're welcome Well, do you press it? You stopped cabitzing. Yes, I I pressed it. It's funny. Nothing happened Car must be awfully cold for a thing What's the matter? Should be turning over car. Oh the motor you clock Well, press it again, David. I'm pressing Claudia now Shut up. Will you all right? I'm shot. I'm shot. I'm only trying to help you, David Say, what about the choke or the throttle thing or something? It's not the throttle thing It's a throttle and the throttle won't help. Well, then the gas press the gas. Claudia We'll do something. You're getting awfully late. Not the gas and it's not the motor but it's She's not even starting Oh, oh, oh, oh, what so that's it So what's what's what's it? Don't just sit there, David. Tell me what's what the battery's dead The battery what what battery the battery in the car. It's dead Really dead. Oh poor little bad. Now. This is no time for jokes. I'm not joking. Is this serious? It's exactly what it is. Well, what made it die just burned itself out Me just died without warning us or anything The last time I drove the car. It wasn't even sick. I mean it did not sick Now all of a sudden it's dead. It's dead. All right Well from what somebody must have left the lights burning in the car Now don't look at me like that. I didn't go near the car yesterday. Let alone leave the lights burning if I would Are you sure? Of course, I'm sure. I know when I've been near the car You you drove the car you left at the station and you drove yourself home You put it in the garage. So I never even touched the car yesterday. I guess you didn't attend So I did not kill the battery. I'm not accusing you You had that look in your eyes if you're accusing me of murder hardly blame me your record is so spotty Well, mr. Naughton Now do you take the responsibility? I understand it. I never leave the lights on I put the car in the garage. I remember clearly pushing in the button Here they are now sticking out. Well, just one of those things you do automatically like You know like turning off the gas on the stove. I always forget that when I've done it and then I always remember that I Haven't only you must have really forgotten. Yeah, I guess that's what happened. Well, I forgive you dear Now what will we do now? Let the try to push the car out and let her own down the hill That'll oh David after everything organized so perfectly to think you're going to be late just because you let the battle I don't keep saying that besides it can't be helped Hey, what's this here on the front seat? Oh that oh that's mama's fur coat. Well, what you're doing here? Well, I put it in the car. So you drop it off the furrier in new york. If you don't mind When did you put it in the car? Last night before going to bed. So I'd be sure to remember and not make you late this morning Wasn't that thoughtful of me? Very well, I guess I better start Oh David What's my David when I brought the fur coat out to the car I Well, you see it was already dark. So I Yes, I did. Oh David. No, I couldn't help. I simply couldn't go on going going David darling dearest after all my planning on the one morning when I had everything planned so beautifully Do you think I could have done it? Yes, I think I think you could have done it In factories and offices in big towns and small coca-cola coolers make it possible for people to work refreshed You too can work refreshed at home by keeping plenty of coke in your refrigerator Bring home a case of coca-cola today Then there'll always be a cold bottle ready to refresh you. Hey, Joe How about coming up to the garage and give me a hand with the car? All right, David in a minute It is cold this morning. Winter is really setting in isn't it though? All right, there are a few things I want to do about it tomorrow. Remind me, will you Joe? I will David I'll be with you to help you with the car just as soon as I say that Every day Monday through Friday. Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joking saying au revoir And remember whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola For coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes And ice cold coca-cola is everywhere This broadcast of claudia was supervised and directed by william brown maloney And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola