 Family Theater presents Alan Young and Frank Lovejoy. From Hollywood, the mutual network and cooperation with Family Theater presents the app Mr. Willis, starring Alan Young. And now, here is your host, Frank Lovejoy. Thank you, Tony LaFrono. Family Theater's only purpose is to bring to everyone's attention a practice that must become an important part of our lives if we are to win peace for ourselves, peace for our families and peace for the world. Family Theater urges you to pray. Pray together as a family. And now, to our transcribed drama, the apt Mr. Willis, starring Alan Young as Henry. Just plain no. Does that answer your question? Why not, Mildred? Can you tell me that? Look at it this way. Why should I? Why? When a man proposes to a woman he's known off and on for eight years, taken out numberless times. A few dates. I surely don't see why he should explain why, the reason, well, a matter of sentiment. It should be fairly obvious now. Oh, slow down, slow down. Look at it this way. You're pushing 40. Well, yes. I'm 29. You've been working right here in the sales department for how long? How long? Well, eight years, three months in about a week, more or less. And I've been your secretary for how long? The same length of time, I suppose? Well, you're not exactly sweeping me off my feet, you know, when a girl likes to be swept off her feet. It's a thrill of romance. Oh, a girl wants to feel wanted, needed, loved, feel that her man thinks she's the most exciting, most attractive, the most beautiful girl in the world. And you, eh, nothing. Is that the real reason? No, Stuffy. I mean Henry. I'm going to level with you. I haven't felt that way since I was 16 years old. Look, in the eight years in, uh, how much? Three months, and as I said, about a week. I have been in a rut. Well, all right. I don't have to like it. I can always entertain the hope of getting out of it. Well, marrying some guy who's going to be something from a purely logical angle, why should I marry into a rut? In a manner of speaking, I don't believe you're giving me what might be called a fair chance. Henry, eight years. Well, eight years isn't really such a very long time. After all, there are better things in life than... Money? Huh. I'll go a couple of rounds with you on that one sometime. Oh, now, Mildred. Listen, when a gal gets a few lines on her face, she starts thinking about security. Which, Stuffy, can be stated in the short form as money? M-O-N-E-Y. I, I don't do too badly? You don't make as much as Bigsby, or Turner, or Bill Avery, or all for that matter, any of the men that I date. Have any of them proposed? Well, no, but, well, it doesn't mean one of them won't. And after all, I, well, I haven't decided which one to push into it yet. You don't know which one it'll be. They're all fairly promising. Huh, is that all you wanted to see me about? I could ask for a promotion. Henry. Yes? You work hard. Work hard? As my secretary, you should know the hours I put in. For the sales department, yeah. But I mean selling commercial passenger planes. Work hard? You know how it is. Right. If Humboldt builds a good plane, the airline people stand in line to order them, and then stand in line to take delivery. But have you ever had to sell an airplane? I mean, really sell one. Well, certainly not. Doesn't even work that way. It's what you might call a, well, a buyer's market, as it were. Consequently, it doesn't take a real go-getter to work in the sales department. I suppose not. Doesn't even take a salesman. Well, now that doesn't mean I couldn't. I managed to keep abreast of things. You might even say any nine-year-old could hold your job. You don't have to get nasty about it. Just try to make a point. If you were the big man, would you promote a man who was doing the work of a nine-year-old kid? Mildred, I've never tried. This seemed like a nice position. The income is fair, so I've really never tried. Didn't know it was important to you. Well, Stuffy, you go out and try. And when you get to the top, maybe we'll discuss this again. But you don't mind if I don't hold my breath while I wait, do you? Frankly, Mildred, I'm a little disappointed in you. I certainly didn't expect that kind of response. At least I'm honest with you. You can appreciate that. Oh, I appreciate it, all right? Nothing personal. No, no, I understand. Nothing personal. If there isn't anything pressing, Mr. Willis, I would like to go to lunch a little early. A little early? As long as there isn't anything pressing. Oh, by all means, by all means. Well, thanks. See you later. Later? Lunch a little early. It's only 11 o'clock. She's getting away with murder. There is a hard woman, Willis. Right? Right. Just luck I found out before it was too late. Security. N-O-N-E-Y. Not very bright, either. She can go to lunch at 11 o'clock, I guess I can. Now, where did I put my hat? Hat rack, of course. So she doesn't think I'm ever going to amount to anything, huh? Thinks I'm in a rut. Well, I'd just like to see the child that could do what I do around here. If you were going somewhere, it might make a difference. But frankly, I don't think the question will ever come up. Well, we'll see about that. Oh, hello, stuffy. J.T., I want to talk with you. Well, most people who come in here have something like that in their minds, but do you always wear your hat just to come from your office to mine? Huh? Oh, yes, I forgot. I was on my way to lunch. It'll have an o'clock, old man, bit early, isn't it? That's beside the point, J.T. Well, what is the point, old man? The point, so to speak, is promotion. Promotion? You want one, you mean? J.T., I'm in a rut. That cute little secretary of yours giving you a little push, is she? Looted? Oh, she had nothing to do with it. No? I've seen you making sheep's eyes at her, and I know her for the go-getter she is. Got a eye on you, has she? She most certainly has not. Is there anything so strange about a man wanting a promotion? Oh, no, but it is a little sudden, you know, after eight years or so. What I do around here could be handled by any, well, 12-year-old child. My job doesn't even call for a salesman. My J.T., all I do is fill out forms. And a great job you're doing there, too. Now, softs. You may not know this, but I consider you the most important man in my department. You do? I do. But I'm the only man in your department. I'm glad you brought that up, stuffy. Regarding promotions, that is. Can't think of a thing that would give me more pleasure than doing just that little thing. As you say, old man, all you do is fill out forms for Uncle Sam and the buyer and CAB. But you do it so well and so quickly. I'd love to promote you, but as you can see, the only other job in the department that calls for a man is, well, my job, and I don't want to promote you that much. I hadn't thought of that. Just no place to go in this department. This is very discouraging. It seems like it. I've got to think of something. Well, it's, yes, J.T., I'd hate to lose you, really, what. It wasn't fooling. You know, you do a fine job. But I know how you feel, and I'm going to try to help you. How? I'm going to use all the influence I have to get you into a department where a little advancement is possible. Can you do that? Then I do it. Watch this. Who are you calling? This is Humboldt, aircraft, isn't it? Humboldt himself? Who else? It's all right. He and I are just like that. Known himself as a hello. This is J.T. Weems, head of the sales department. Put me through to Arthur. What do you mean, Arthur, who? Humboldt, of course. Watch this. Easy as falling. Hello? Oh, hello, Mr. Humboldt. This is J.T. Weems. Not Beems. Weems, head of the sales department. Your sales department. Yes, that's right. Well, sir, it's this way. I've got a man in my department who, how's that? But I don't want to fire him, sir. I knew it. I knew it. Nothing like that at all, sir. You see, this fellow Willis, well, he's been in the department eight years. Good work, a solemn, wants a promotion. I think one of our little secretaries has been putting a few bugs in his ear. You know how it is, single man, doesn't want to stay that way. That's not it, not at all. J.T., you're doing me an injustice. Please, stuffy. I knew you'd understand, sir. The trouble is, sir, he really deserves a promotion. Good man, stout fellow and all that. Of course, I can get along without him. Any nine-year-old child could do what he's, I mean, I mean to say, I think I can replace him if there's a chance of moving him to some other department where advancement is possible. Yes, sir. What's that? Test Bureau? Yes, sir, call you back. Thank you, sir. Why? Well, stuffy old man, that's that. J.T., that part about Mildred. Sure, stuffy, I know. Beautiful woman, I can understand why you're sweet on her. But it's just not that way. I am not sweet on her at all. Of course you're not, stuffy. What's the use? What did he say? Oh, if you've got an aptitude that can be applied, you can transfer to any department you want with no loss of seniority. Of course, I'll have to check with Humboldt first, maybe do a little more campaigning. The first thing is to find you an aptitude. An aptitude? Certainly, we'd have to. Can't just put you in aircraft testing or engineering or something like that, you know? Have to find the thing you'd most likely do well. How can we do that? Won't take a tester tool or a dozen if you need them. Take the rest of the day. Go down and see Miss Evans in personnel testing. Tell her to give you all that test you need. Then bring the results back to me and I'll start the ball rolling with Humboldt. Good enough, J.T., I don't know what to say. There's nothing, oh man, nothing. Better get down and see Miss Evans. I'll never be able to thank you enough, J.T. All right, all right, but one thing, Stuffy. Yes? Test bureaus in the same building, you know. Wouldn't wear that hat down there. Might be getting off on the wrong foot. I'll drop it off in my office. Do a good job in those tests. I'll do my best. Fine, give me something to work with, Stuffy. That'll be enough. I'll give you something to work with. I'll show her who is going to amount to something. That has a familiar ring to it. Yes, it has, hasn't it? Well, I mean, I could swear I've heard a red your name fairly recently. Well, I'm sure I don't know where. We don't get much publicity in the sales department, you know. That's it. A woman from the sales department, rather striking woman, wanted to see your test results. Mine? Yours and the results of several others. I think I can remember some of the other names. Bigsby was one, and then there was William Avery. I don't know several others. This woman, about 30? I'd say 35, but striking. Red hair and greenish eyes. Milrid. I didn't get her name. And the results? Oh, well, they're held in confidence. We never give out that information without the consent of the person tested. I don't believe I could have given yours out anyway. You haven't taken any tests here, have you? No. I'd remember if you had. You were? You must have a phenomenal memory, Miss Evans. Not particularly. Now, how may I help you, Mr. Willis? Oh, well, I believe I'm supposed to take some sort of aptitude test. For any particular department? Just general. Well, then I suppose we better give you the five-hour comprehensive battery of examinations. Sounds a little frightening, but it's not really. It just gives us an idea of your aptitudes. Then we can give you a more specialized examination. That sounds fair enough. Would you care to step over this way, Mr. Willis? Certainly. Looks a little like a child's playroom in here with all our testing devices, doesn't it? I suppose it does. I really wouldn't know. You don't have any children of your own? I'm afraid there might be a little unhandy just now, not marriage, you know? They might be a little unhandy then. Now, I'm really not supposed to tell you what each of the tests is for. But it should be pretty obvious to a man of your intelligence, this first one, for instance. All the blocks on this table are of different sizes and colors. The colors go through the spectrum, starting with black and ending in white, with many of the various shades, hues, and tints in between. The blocks, all 85 of them, can be fitted into the rectangle only if they're in the right sequence. It's a test of color perception and physical logic. There's an eight-minute time limit. That doesn't sound too difficult. When do I start? Whenever you say. You can just call me when you're finished and I'll stop the time. Naturally, the faster you do it, the higher your score. Ready? Ready. Good luck. Start. This one here, this one here, and this, and this, this, this one here. Oh, this is incredible. And here, am I doing all right? This one here. Just keep going. Then the white, and there. I believe that does it. How did I do? I've never seen anything like it. Never. Miss Evans, I don't mean to tell you all business, but shouldn't you stop the timer? Oh, of course. I'm sorry. I suppose I should deduct about 10 seconds. That would make it 20 seconds. Then I passed it. You certainly did. Yeah, that was kind of fun. What's next? Next? Oh, this one over here, Mr. Willis. Now, if you'll just sit here in this chair. Certainly. You seem a little perplexed, Miss Evans. Oh, I suppose I am. I rather feel like I've discovered, well, I've heard them referred to as, oh, I hope you won't take offense, idiot savant. Oh? Well, the way you did that other test, now and then in my field, one runs into a person who has almost frightening abilities along certain lines, while other ones. Well, otherwise, they are not too bright. Well, yes. And once, oh, you might not believe this. But once I tested a man who could actually add up the numbers on passing freight cars and give the total as a caboose went by, a human lightning calculator. Oh, I believe that. You do? I can do that. Oh, come now, Mr. Willis. Can't see that it's good for much, but I suppose it will be nice at parties if you happen to be having one by the tracks, that is. Oh, you're kidding me, Mr. Willis. Give me some numbers. Well. Go ahead. Fast? Fast as you like. Fast as you can write them down. Well, here goes. 19,342, 20,215, 221,213, 44,254, and 21,213. That would be 126,462. Right? Just a minute. Carry the 1, 3, 7. That's right. At least I think that's right. Freight trains are much harder. Oh, much. Mr. Willis, I think we'd better go through the whole battery of examinations. That's what I came for, isn't it? But I want you to know beforehand, if what I think is true, I can't promise to keep the results of your tests confidential. Scruffy. Back so soon? How'd you do? JT, I think I did pretty fair. Nice girl, Edmy Zevins. What test did she give you? Test? She gave me the comprehensive five-hour battery of examinations. Five-hour? Fine, fine. Take a seat. Thank you. Careful, Soggy. No, thanks. You better try one. They're specials. I haven't made up. Did you say five-hour? That's right, JT. But, man, you've only been gone for a little over an hour. Oh, you must have been, pardon me, certainly. Hello, this is JT Weems. No, Weems, not Beems. With a W, not a B. Haven't you got any better senses? Oh, hello, Mr. Humphill. Sorry about that. What's that? Scruffy, why didn't you tell me? No, no, no, sir, I'm still here. Impossible. That is, I mean, to me, it seems impossible. To what? Yes, sir, to your office, right away. And who else, sir? Sir, right away, yes. Goodbye, Humboldt himself. Get that secretary of yours. He wants you to bring her along. To his office? He sounded like he was rolling out the red carpet for you. I don't know what this can mean, but I think one way or the other, stuffy, we're both going to be on the carpet. That's what I say. Someone's been up to some shenanigans. You were right, Beems. Whee, sir. Nobody can do what this young lady says this young man can do. But, Mr. Humboldt, I tested it myself, and I can ensure you there were no shenanigans. All due respect to yourself, young lady. Nobody can have a 100% aptitude in 190 different subjects. Nobody. 100% in how many subjects? In the, who are you? You with the red hair. She's my secretary, sir. You asked that she be here. I did? Yes, sir, you're dead. Oh, oh, well, young lady. Yes, sir. As Mr. Willis' secretary, would you say his work showed any special degree of ability? Well, sir, I would. You can speak, my dear. Your job is safe. I wouldn't say definitely, sir, that his work shows any special ability. As I've been led to understand, Willis, your job in my sales department calls for you to fill out a few forms. What kind of forms? Government, CAB, buyer's report, sir. Things like that. How many? Oh, 300 or 400 a day? Well, three. Did you say three or 400 government forms a day? Yes, sir. His test shows he's capable of it, Mr. Humboldt. Well, the very fact he does it seems to prove that he's capable of it. Beams. Sir. Is this the man you said could be replaced by any nine-year-old? I say that, sir. I could have sworn I said 15-year-old. Mr. Humboldt, Mr. Weems has always left my work pretty much up to me. All he'd know about it would be what I'd tell him. Oh, well, it's excusable then. Thank you, sir. I still find this a little hard to believe. It's true, sir. All right, dear Willis, I'm going to give you a little test of my own. Here, look at this. This? This plan, sir? That's right. I came up from the engineering department just one hour ago. You couldn't possibly know anything about it. Well? What about it, sir? Will you tell me? Hmm. It's apparently the wiring diagram, the schematic drawing for ignition and controls for a jet-powered propeller-driven engine. Schematic drawing for ignition and control for a jet- Whoa! Oh, jet-powered. I wondered why I couldn't figure it out. Willis. Yes, sir? For two weeks, I'm going to test you. For two weeks, I want you to be your own department. Now, you roam around the plant, see where you want to work. Thank you, Mr. Humboldt. Call me, Arthur. Yes, sir? Yes, unless I miss my guest, young man. You're going a long way with this organization. Stuffy. Hello, JT. Long time no see. How's the new job panning out? Couldn't be better. I thought you might be finished up, for I'd like to walk you down to the parking lot. I'll say we stop and have a cup of coffee or something. I'd like to hear how you've been doing. Can't do it. Girlfriend's waiting. Ha-ha, romance. Still got time for it? Heard you were made a vice president or something. Elected to the board and all that. Well, something like that, JT. Stuffy. Yeah, then I guess I shouldn't be calling you that now. From you, it's all right. Thank you. What are you going to say? There's something that's been bothering me. What's that? For eight years, you had that one job. Did it. Never tried for anything more. Why? It was a nice job, and I suppose I didn't have any real reason to want more. To move ahead, JT, you have to have an incentive. You have to have a real motive. Work toward a goal, or you just never put out as much as you can. You never find out how much you really can do. And now you've got the incentive. Oh, I know. Henry. Hello, Mildred. Well, yes, I'd better buzz along. No, no, wait a minute. Oh, I've been waiting for you. Guess what we're going to have for dinner? Dinner? Sure, you don't want me to buzz? No, no, JT, wait. OK. What's this about dinner? Well, I've been thinking it was about time you tasted my cooking. So I've planned kind of a special dinner. I tried to call you, but you're a hard man to get a hold of. Mildred, I owe a lot to you. Oh, but he won't me. Nothing. No, really, Mildred, I owe you a lot. And I just want to say thank you, and I'll always think of you as a friend, a dear friend. Friend? Dear friend? Goodbye, Mildred. Hey, I thought you were. But Henry, all those things that you said, you. Bye, Mildred. But, but, Henry. Hey, I thought you quite, she was noising around it. You proposed to her, and, well, she was the incentive. That was three weeks ago. She wasn't the incentive, she was just the initial push. And there's a good deal of difference between someone who pushes and someone who gives a man an incentive. Oh, here's my date. Hi, honey. Oh, there you are. Honey, you remember Mr. Wiens? Oh, of course I do. How are you? Stuffy, if this is what you mean by incentive, I'm all for it. You told him? It told me what. J.T., we're engaged. Engaged? Well, this is kind of sudden, isn't it? Yes. Isn't it wonderful? Something a friend told me once, and as an old married man, you should know, J.T., a woman wants to be swept off her feet. This is Frank Lovejoy again. Do you begin the day by reading the morning paper, or after the day's work, do you settle down with the evening paper? Maybe you get the news often during the day on your radio. If you were like nearly everyone else, you may often wish that you had not heard the latest. Science is expanding the universe of physical knowledge to scary proportions. At four or five key points, war may break out in a hurry. People are displaced from their homes. Prices appear to be entering into new zones with supersonic speed. The polio season will be over, and the pneumonia season will take its place. There may be a chart telling you what to do if an atom bomb suddenly goes off in your city. Are you safe and sound any place at all? Lots of us keep wondering and wondering. If you were past 50, you may yearn for the old days of peace and plenty and surety, presuming that such a time actually did exist. If you're young and healthy, you may see the far horizon disturbed by near hazards. How does a thoughtful person keep his poise? By distracting himself from too much thinking? Perhaps, by being philosophical? Perhaps. But one thing is certain for those who understand or who are beginning to understand the good providence of God. He knows that it is most surely God's will that he should live in the age into which he was born. We were given life without asking for it, and we will be given grace to meet life by asking for it. It is ignoble to evade reality. It is strong to meet it head on. And God must truly love, especially those who meet it squarely. Those are most poised who understand that every age has its own hazards. What you might have died of in an earlier age you were now saved from by a new medicine born of research and even war emergency. There is an equalization. And the seed of poise is true and stalwart faith. Faith that is humble and will unite in prayer with God. The faith and prayer that keeps families together, for the nation is safe when families are rugged and solid, just as the family that prays together stays together. More things are brought by prayer than this world dreams of. Hollywood Family Theater has brought you to transcribe the apt Mr. Willis, starring Alan Young. Frank Lovejoy was your host. Others in our cast were Giggie Pearson, Herb Butterfield, Gloria Grant, and Paul Freese. The script was written and directed for Family Theater by Robert Hugo Sullivan with music composed and conducted by Harry Zimmerman. This series of Family Theater broadcasts is made possible by the thousands of you who feel the need for this type of program. By the mutual network which has responded to this need and by the hundreds of stars of stage, screen, and radio who give so unselfishly of their time and talent to appear on our Family Theater stage. To them and to you, our humble thanks. This is Tony LaFranco expressing the wish of Family Theater that the blessing of God may be upon you and your home and inviting you to join us next week when Family Theater will present Song for a Long Road, starring McDonald Kerry. Join us, won't you? Family Theater is broadcast throughout the world and originates in the Hollywood studios of the world's largest network. This is Mutual, the radio network for all America.