 Hey, hey Tony Gaskins here. Thank you so much for joining me on another episode of talks with Tony Got an email here today from across the world another continent Hi, Tony. I'm writing from South Africa. Thank you so much. I love South Africa I spoke there three times and y'all need to bring me back. I am studying to become a pastor So I made a vow to God to stay celibate till marriage. I Have been dating a pastor. I am in my late 20s and he is in his early 30s The same pastor helps me with my studies as a mentor and this is how we started dating I told him that sex was off the table and he was fine with it He was telling me that he was serious and that he wanted me to be his wife one day So he did not mind waiting three months in this exclusive relationship I found out that he was making arrangements to sleep with one of his ex-girlfriends We are not living in the same town. So he was supposed to come visit me for the weekend. This ex of him are also Living in the same town as me So the ex lives in the same town as you one of my good friends showed me the text that he sends this woman This woman was chatting with my friend about him I told him that I do not want us to be public unless we are both sure that this is for real So only our close friends knew about us He told me that he made a mistake and that this is not who he is He says that he felt like I did not understand his needs and where he was coming from He wants me to give him another chance and my close friend who knew about us also feels that he deserves a second chance The thing is I feel like I can't trust him and this early in the relationship Aren't we supposed to still be in our honeymoon phase when he did this? I told him that I forgave him and he is still helping me with my studies as sort of a mentor I respect the profession that he is in and he is a good man But it is hard to look at him as a husband to be I have been praying about this, but I am so confused I want to know if I should give him another chance. Is he a counterfeit or God sent? I do not have time to waste on someone who can't be faithful It is a great question great question and I will tell you this as a man as a man Selfishly I would want another chance as a man because I know that I was not perfect And I know I made mistakes But fortunately the mistakes that I made you know early in my life didn't have to be surfaced You know, I was able to be graced through a lot of my mistakes in my relationships And when I got with my wife, I was able to keep my mistakes to a minimum and we both made mistakes as Being a young couple. So we had to forgive each other for the lies or deceit or what have you in your case You're studying to be a pastor he's studying to be a pastor Three months into the relationship, I'm gonna tell you like this right here. This is what I got to tell you on the real side I say selfishly as a man, I would want to push for a second chance But truthfully, this is a major red flag It's a major major major red flag for one because he is a pastor He's already a pastor. You're studying to become a pastor. He is a pastor So for him to be a pastor and to be trying to have sex with his ex-girlfriend That's a major red flag To for him to be a pastor and to be single still is too many women in the world For a man to be single as a pastor if you are a pastor, you should already got your relationship in order and Built on that and done it the right way and then became a pastor So it's some single pastors who cheated on their wives and lost their wives or some single pastors who the wife passed away And so they're a widower But in his case, that's a red flag when you are single pastor That is a red flag because there's too many women There's too many women to be a grown man of age and you a pastor and you single So that's a red flag now it proves that it's a red flag the fact that three months into your Exclusive relationship, you're not exclusive That he's trying to cheat With his ex who was in your same town It is a red flag that he told you He wants you to be his wife and he's willing to wait on you But he lied to you because he's not willing to wait on you What he's willing to do is wait until you get weak enough to have sex with him That is what he is willing to do I'm going to post your answer this should be May 22nd and I'm writing you right now Just to tell you Cut him off now You should be watching this on May 22nd cut his butt off now. He's waiting until you get weak He wants you to get weak so he can sleep with you your friend Y'all in South Africa. It's y'all got Zulu's over there. Y'all got Muslims you got different races you got men with multiple wives multiple women You don't know where your friend is speaking from but she need to hush because he don't need a second chance because look What are the odds? What are the odds you're studying to become a pastor with a pure heart for one you shouldn't you know Eat where you boo boo at So you should not be getting mentorship From the man you're dating You shouldn't be getting mentorship from a man period you a woman get mentorship from a female pastor You shouldn't be getting mentorship from a man period. I don't mentor females Anytime I talk to a female. It's a business transaction It's a business transaction and reason why I'll mentor females cuz this very thing right here when it's come to me Can you be much? No, I'm a married man I'm not gonna be sitting talking to you because that's an intimate thing It need to be a business transaction so you could put it in your mind I paid a hundred and fifty dollars to get on this coaching call with Tony. I could put it in my mind I'm receiving money for my services for the value that I'm providing. This is what I do as a professional This is my business. This is my job. This is not personal You shouldn't be getting mentorship from a man fire him and get find a female mentor if you Can't find a female me mentor mentor yourself. I never had a mentor I never had a mentor and I reached my goals. So you don't always need a mentor the next thing what you need to realize is Look at this as a sign from God. What are the odds? that He would be messaging his ex Trying to set up some sex and His ex would be Telling gossiping about him to another woman and Then that woman happens to be somebody who knows your friend and One of my good friends showed me the text that he sends this woman This woman was chatting with my friend about him so the woman was trying the woman might know about you or It's some more gossiping going on than you realize Your friend might not be telling you the whole story But you got to see it as a sign from God that what are the odds for the woman? He trying to sleep with to know your close friend and for this to get back to you That's God three months in sending you a warning sign you dealing with a false prophet You dealing with a fake So it just so happened that you this don't happen. This don't happen like this This right here divine this divine intervention in your life And that's how you have to look at it because even if it is just by happenstance You got to look at this is your sign For you to find out three months in this is early enough that you don't have a soul tie That you're not in love You're not addicted and you got time to leave that is what this is about This is to save you. So cut him off Block him block his number. Tell him. Please do not contact me again. I Know that you didn't probably maybe you didn't sleep with him. Maybe it didn't happen Maybe your plan blew up in your face, but if you're doing this in three months What are you gonna do after three years? How weak are you gonna be if you this week in three months? How weak you gonna be in 30 months? How weak you gonna be at 30 years? How weak you gonna be at 13 years? He telling you he feels like That you don't understand his needs You need to tell him what kind of man of God are you to need sex outside of marriage? God can't meet your needs if you can't pray to the God you so-called believe in and get the strength To be abstinent then you in the wrong profession You in the wrong calling Your God ain't real then the God you say you believe in if you can't go to him for help and strength You you and your atheists you in the wrong business buddy And that's what you got to break down him and let him listen to this Let him listen to it if he need to listen to it Brother listen to me stop playing with God stop playing with God If you know God like I know God Then you know is real you know is real you don't play with the creator of earth of man When fire you don't play with the creator If you're gonna be in that profession, you need to be all the way right You need to be all the way right because you're gonna receive a recompense in your body like the Bible talk about the recompense in your body I see that as HIV age or The wages of sin is death when you claim to know God and you plan with God and Same thing go for you sister. You keep this going you plan with God because you know better And you don't got a sign when you plan with God and you in sin willingly But at the same time You claim to be a representative of God the good books say God will not be mocked You won't make a fool of God Because you ain't gonna cost me my faith in God because of your lifestyle So guess what you're gonna have to pay a mighty mighty price. You're gonna pay a mighty price We see pastors who was living in willing sin die a untimely death We see pastors die untimely death from willing sin God will not be mocked the wages of sin is death sister. That's in your Bible That's in that Bible that you claiming to read the wages of sin is death Death that's what it say So fellow listen to me you out here. Thank you slick. You think you slick be Slick rip you're gonna end up laid up on on life support in somebody hospital bed Trying to trick off on these women one. I'm gonna stab you One I'm gonna stab you and if they don't stab you one I'm gonna just take you all the way out or you're gonna end up with a recompense in your body That's gonna cost you your life and it's gonna be a slow burn The everybody under the sound of my voice stop playing with your body Stop playing with your spirit Stop playing with your life. Stop lying down in bed with people that you don't have a lifetime Covenant with this your life. This your heart. This your body Stop taking yourself for granted. Stop taking soul ties for granted. Stop taking your spirit for granted. This is real Love yourself on another level Love yourself cherish yourself and take life seriously. You know to show snapped it exists for a reason The lifetime movie network Lifetime TV on your cable TV that whole network exists because of foolishness like this right here Women getting obsessed women killing women men killing women all of that exists because people taking Your life and your body and your relationship status for granted Hey, this Tony Gashman if you have a question for me, please send it to me Inbox at Tony Gaskins calm to all my patrons on patreon.com Thank you so much. If you would like to become a patron, please visit patreon.com forward slash Tony Gaskins Thank you. I look forward to talking to you soon