 Okay, so good morning once again, welcome all of you to week three of our class and welcome to all the e-learning students who have been interacting over the portal and keeping in touch with the class. I'm really encouraged to see how some of you are really engaging with the course and, you know, bringing up questions. I really appreciate and bring more of it and I encourage even the students here online to, you know, be active on the stream so that, you know, if you have questions, you could also bring it up later through the week onto your classroom stream and we could either have a discussion or, you know, have an open conversation here itself. So I'm encouraging that you'll continue being involved. Yeah, welcome once again. Let's just start with the word of prayer and we'll move right into the lesson. Can I ask one of you all to please pray, somebody on the call please. Yeah, let's pray. Dear Heavenly Father, we come to you under the name of Jesus. We thank you for this beautiful day and for the beautiful class we are about to have. God, we just give everything else into your hands. Be with us and guide us throughout the session. Help us to have the good Wi-Fi connections. And every single thing that we learn today, Lord, help us to apply it in our lives so that we can be a blessing to others so that we can help others when they fall because when one falls, the other picks up. That's what you have called us to do. Help us to open our mind and heart and listen to it. Help us to have the compassion that you had for the people so that we can shine your light to this world. Be with us and guide us in Jesus' name. I pray. Amen. Amen. Thank you, Jafina. Thank you. Okay, so as we move ahead into class, any reflections about what we learned last week, any thoughts, any questions? We'll just probably take maybe two minutes to address that and we'll get started. So any questions, any thoughts, any revelations? Anything? I just want to say I'm really being blessed through the classes. I'm learning a lot. And I should really say being a 19-year-old girl, this helps me a lot to work with myself also. It helps me a lot to understand even myself like what is my emotions because I think as we are being Christians, when I was back in my hometown, these emotions are actually neglected. They're like half-faith, but there is no importance for the emotions and feelings that we have. But through this course, I'm learning that we can bring our emotions to God. So I just want to say I'm really blessed through and it really helps me to analyze myself a lot. Like what state I'm in, what are the things that I should work on so that I can be a better person serving the Lord. So yeah, thank you. Thank you, Jafina. That's encouraging. That's so encouraging. Thank you. Yes, Divya. Thank you, ma'am. Are you able to hear me? Yes, I can. Yes. My question is regarding, like when we say that man is an image-bearer and as we were talking about the attributes of significance and security, self-worth, all this, when I was going through that again, I felt I had a question regarding, so if it is like that, whether God also has these attributes, like if we are image-bearers, so it means like God also would be having these attributes. I'm understanding it right. Yeah. So these attributes are given to man as his created, to given to us as his created beings. God is all-existent. He is the source of all of these attributes. He is all of that. He is love. He is purpose. He is security. That's the characteristic of God, right? And that's what he's given us as his created beings. So as God being the source of all this, it is there in him, all of these attributes that are given to man or attributes that we had before the fall and the needs that we need right now because of the fall, it's something that is already present. It's always been there. It wasn't a beginning or an end in God. It is who he is. He is love. He is purpose. He is security. So that's something that he gave us as well. So it is always and was and will ever be something that God is love, security and purpose. Sure, sure. Thank you ma'am. So is it right to say that God created man with these attributes that only God can fill? Yes, and that's exactly why we see that. So if you remember we said prior to the fall, this was something man inherently had because sin didn't separate man from God. Man was in complete fellowship with God, in one fellowship with God. But the minute that man began to look at himself because of sin and saying and looking at his own means to figure out a need, that's when we moved away from that inherent capacity and moved into a place and that's where it becomes a need. And so man looks at everything around them to fulfill that need. So you're absolutely right. It is only in their one relationship with God that this can again inherently be met. So the process of counseling as we looked last time is to restore man back into God's image. Through the relationship, although there is depravity that is there, it is to restore them back into the image by building back a relationship with God. So yes, you're right. It is found only in God and that's the aim of counseling, to restore man into the image of God where they inherently sense those attributes with God. But being in the world that we are in, we are still bound by sin and that's why our relationship with Jesus really matters because our inheritance comes from knowing that he's the one who died for us. Because of our faith in him, we have all of these attributes that we live by. But it is a walk of faith. We have to live by faith. We have to believe that all that he's given us is ours. Sure. Thank you. Thank you for those questions. Lovely. Alright, so we'll move into our next lesson. And if you'd like to follow through in the book, I'm on page 15. And I'd like to do two chapters today, maybe the first star, this one and the second are the second chapter. We may be going a little bit faster because we've missed a couple of classes because of the holidays and things like that. So we're going to ensure that we move faster. However, this is pretty simple. It is a simple chapter. And what we're looking at is something that we call as a counseling relationship or in other words, the word meaning therapeutic relationship. So if you look at the word therapeutic, what does it mean? It means a relationship between a counsellor and counsellor. So this word therapeutic comes from the word therapy where the relationship is one professional. It is characterised by certain attributes. It's characterised by certain attitudes that is important in the life of a counsellor. So when you look at therapeutic, it actually means a relationship that enables the other person to build their own skills or to have them develop and grow. And it is also a helping relationship. So the therapeutic relationship comes from these specific terms of enabling and terms of helping. So the therapeutic relationship, when you look at it, it is the interaction between a counsellor as well as a counsellor. So it's an interaction between the counsellor and the counsellor in which it is characterised by specific attributes. And those are the three main attributes that we are going to be looking at today. And highly important for a counsellor, whether we are Christian counsellors or whether we are pastoral counsellors, whether we are secular counsellors, extremely important to have. So the importance of this, as you would see on this slide, the therapeutic relationship or the relationship between the counsellor and the counsellor is characterised by a couple of things. One is by trust and the second is by openness. Where over here the counsellor needs to be in a place where they feel the space and the security to open up as well as to be able to trust that the individual that they are talking to or the counsellor that they are talking to has the best interest and sees them for who they are. So whether it be a one-on-one counselling or whether you're doing it as a group, the characteristics of trust and openness is highly valid here in this relationship. And what happens when there is trust and openness, the person who's coming in for help is open enough to deal or to work through whatever problems they have come with or whatever issues or events that they have come with so that they have someone to deliberate and talk with so that they are able to find new strategies or new ways of thinking, of behaving, of feeling or of working towards their issues and thereby finding what is their God-given purpose. So this is extremely important. Now in counselling, remember, and I'll bring, I'll highlight some of the things why a therapeutic relationship is so important that a lot of times what is the counsellor doing over there? The counsellor is encouraging or is building or enabling or helping the counsellor to build themselves up in the goals that they would come for. So let's say a counsellor comes to you and says, I would like to be a better employee at work or I would like to be a better husband. I would like to be a better child. I would like to have a better relationship with God. So they come in order to find something and the counsellor enables and helps them to come to that point of a goal that they would want. And how does that happen? So there are specific ways that happens. Remember that your techniques or your approaches in counselling is not the only thing that helps a person. It is your own personal qualities that really help the person to bring about change. So to give you an example, so one of the things, so earlier in, you know, and I'm going to bring in examples because I've been in this field for so long and, you know, I just go back and whenever I read a certain principles like this, I go back and think of how true some of this is. So a lot of times, you know, when people have come, some of them may have come with extreme issues where there aren't easy answers to their problems, right? But for the very fact that they have a person who's sitting with them, listening to them, helping them just emote, just being able to maybe they just cry through one whole session. They are just able to express whatever they're feeling. And here there's a counsellor who is sitting alongside them being without really judging, without really questioning these emotions, without really telling them to grow up and develop into a more stronger person. That in itself can be extremely therapeutic. So what I'm trying to say is it's just not the approach you use or the council that you give, but even your personal qualities that can really encourage growth in the person, in the counselling. So that's why the relationship is extremely crucial in counselling. So what is the goal of the counsellor is one to provide that relationship, to bring about, to create a relationship that allows the counsellor to be safe enough to evaluate, to discover what's happening within them, and to seek after certain goals that will help them in a better way, to help them maybe to come up to a better level of thinking. Maybe it is a better way of dealing with other people or maybe it's a better way of having a better thought process. So never undermine the relationship in this process or it's called the counselling relationship. Never, never undermine because that is important for the counsellor to create. The counselling is not the one who needs to really create that space because they've come in with a need. So it's the counsellor that actually needs to create that space. So what are some of the functions of that relationship? One, it needs to create a trusting atmosphere where a counsellor knows that they have a place where they can absolutely bring about and discuss anything. And this may come in time. So don't feel perturbed if a person doesn't share or open up everything on the first time. Perfectly okay. Even now, even after these years of experience, I've had people come to me after the second or the third session and say, this is something I was waiting to see when I'd be comfortable to share. And so sometimes information or their life story gets unpacked, you know, maybe in subsequent sessions. Why? People are coming first and foremost to really judge to see is this place safe for me? Is this place an atmosphere of safety and security for me? So you have, remember, you have different kinds of people who come to you. And when they come, the goal that you have is to create that atmosphere of trust where they begin to trust you as a person so that they are in a place of being able to share and deliberate as much as possible. So one, it should create an atmosphere of trust. Second, it provides a medium of effect. Now, what does the word effect mean? The word effect means to emote. Okay. When you're creating a relationship that is close, you would probably understand this, you know, think of a friend or think of someone, you know, that you can absolutely talk about without having to gauge or minimize your emotions. Okay. Maybe when you're, so think of that one person, if you have somebody like that, no matter what you say, they are there with you to hear you out and to encourage you to listen to you and not to put down your emotions or say, you know, that's not the way that's feeling or it's silly to feel like that. Or, you know, you're becoming a baby, none of that. So it provides a medium of effect, which means a place where the counselling can really share and discuss and talk about what's affecting them. What's the next function? It models a healthy interpersonal relationship. Now, you know, what you are doing in a therapeutic or in a counselling relationship is you are modelling to your counselling or you are demonstrating to your counselling that a relationship can be healthy. All right. And that and who demonstrates that you as a counsellor is demonstrating that, right? Demonstrating that through your empathy, demonstrating that through your non-judgmental attitude, you demonstrate that through your acceptance of their emotions, acceptance of them as a people of their confidentiality. So that's what you are demonstrating. And you're actually showing them, oh, there is a way that you can actually have a good interpersonal relationship. So that's what models it there. And of course, the most important one, it motivates them to change. It motivates when there is a relationship that is one neutral, that is respectful. And, you know, when your counsellor knows that the person who I'm talking to doesn't have any hidden agenda, it is not that my counsellor has a hidden agenda that if I do such and such thing, it is going to benefit them. They know that there isn't a hidden agenda, right? So that in itself, when you are bringing up healthy questions to them, it makes them think and motivates them to change that perspective because they know that it is a safe relationship. It is a place in which where they can explore and they can make mistakes, they can develop. Okay, so these are specific functions of it. So in a counselling relationship, what is important? The attitudes of the counsellor is more important than the approach. That's what I mentioned earlier, right? The attitudes. So the way I approach the person who's sitting in front of me, not the problem. Remember, there are two different things, right? There's a person here and there is a problem. So the way that I approach the person is far more greater than the way I approach the problem, all right? Because if I have built a positive feeling or an attitude towards my counselling, the approach will be much, much faster. They will probably be in a much better place to accept the questions or accept the insights that you are giving them. If your attitude towards them is strong, is one of care and it is one of specifically three attitudes which we are going to go in. So that's what we say. That's the bedrock of that relationship, okay? It also matters the way the attitudes are perceived in the counselling, all right? Now, what does this mean? Now, sometimes, especially in different cultures, especially in our Indian culture, we are very, we are quite open to maybe touches. Like for example, if someone is upset, you could probably, you know, you could think of, you know, when someone's upset, maybe you give them a pat on their shoulder, you hold their hand or things like that, right? You're expressing your oneness with them. But maybe in a different culture, that is not something that is, may not be acceptable, you know? The people are very wary about how much they approach physically. So it really matters how what you are doing as a counsellor and what is perceived by them, by the counsellor, right? And that's what makes a difference to the client. And sometimes you can gauge that by your open communication with them, okay? So the basis of this entire lesson is one that attitudes and the feelings of the counsellor is far more important than approaches and the way that they perceive these attitudes are also important. Now, something that a research has discovered is that the best predictor of success in counselling is the quality of the relationship. Now, that was an amazing study, right? That counsellors who have a good relationship with their counselling and open good relationship with their counselling is a better, it's a better predictor of a success of a counselling relationship than the kind of therapy you use or the kind of counsellor you give. So it is within that relationship that you see that counselling actually is really helpful and it's something that really works for the counselling, okay? Now, in order for us to understand this, there is this person by the name of Carl Rogers and he was a behavioral scientist who speaks about these three main attitudes that a counsellor needs to have, okay? And these are these three attitudes and this is what we'll go through one by one. The first one is empathy, the second is congruence and the third is what we call is unconditional positive regard. So empathy, congruence and unconditional positive regard. So let's just look at each of them and just unpack that and you will begin to see a lot more of how you can bring some of this into practice. So what is empathy? Empathy is, okay, maybe let me ask you, how different is empathy from sympathy? Just so that I have you all involved as well. So how different do you think empathy is from sympathy? Any thoughts? Okay, there's no right or wrong answers, okay? You can share. I'll just try and just let them. Sure, go ahead, go ahead. Yes, sympathy is just, you know, maybe comforting them, consoling them, just aligning with their feelings. But empathizing, I believe, is more of like stepping into their shoes, like kind of really trying to understand what they are going through. Like trying to, suppose I'm talking to a child, getting into their level and trying to understand what is their situation, what are they facing, just coming to their level. That's what I think. Okay, thank you. Thanks, Divya. That's good. Anyone else? Anybody else has a thought? How is empathy different from sympathy? Ma'am, good morning. I think it's pretty similar to what Divya said. sympathy is like you feel for the other person. Whereas empathy is you assume what the other person goes through is something that you can relate with what the other person is saying and assuming that, you know, if you are in that position, how you would feel, how you would understand. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Lyndon. Wonderful. Okay. So that's good, right? I think you'll kind of have the essence about what empathy and sympathy is. So sympathy is, yes, you do feel for what is going on, but there is a sense of detachment from actually getting or being or being in the place of the person. So sympathy is you look at it from a very distance. You look at it from a distance. It is more a detached view about what happens, right? So it also plays on how you involve yourself in helping the person. So you may involve, but it is more out of sympathy, more out of a sense of detachment rather than a sense of care. Now, empathy, I think like what both of you said is some of those key words I think you'll put very well is putting yourself in the shoes of someone else. We're going to be looking at a little bit in the next chapter also where you place yourself in the position of your counselling or you're wearing their shoes or you are taking on their skin, right? So which means it's almost as if you are going through the very same issue that they are. So it is the way of being with your counselling or with the person who you're talking to. And by doing so, you're also, so what does empathy mean? It doesn't mean that you're so involved that you work on their behalf. That's not what empathy means, right? That would be a lot more into what is happening in sympathy that you're working on somebody's behalf because you feel you need to change. You are the one who needs to take action to change. But empathy is just in a place of being in a different framework. You moved yourself out from your framework and taken yourself into the framework of the other. So that's what it says understanding within the framework of the other person's world. So you're almost taking off your shoes and your skin and getting up and going there to begin to see the world from the way that they see it, okay? And so how does this happen? This happens through listening, through active listening, which means you are in a place of not just listening, but in a place of understanding. That is, you've heard something and you're making a certain deduction of that what you have heard, which is an understanding. And you communicate that understanding back and you say, oh, is it this is like this for you? So for example, someone is talking, a person is talking about the way that they have, let's say, the way that they have a rebellious child. They're talking about how the child has been giving them a hard time. So that is first listening. You're listening. Your understanding is you're kind of probably formulated and when you communicate that understanding, you say something like you seem to have come to the end of your rope. You seem to be quite frustrated. You seem to be hopeless in dealing with the issue, right? So what am I doing? I'm communicating. Hey, I have understood what you're saying and I'm reflecting this back to you to really see that whether I have understood and I've been in your world for the last five minutes. Okay. When is it that we are not empathetic is when we are listening and say, okay, so what are some of the things that you can do to change the situation for your son? Or you say, you know, why is your son so obstinate? So what have you done? You haven't communicated any form of an understanding. You've moved into the next step of trying to resolve the problem. But when you're being empathetic, you are spending time enough to live in that hopelessness that the person is there so that you are able to demonstrate to your counseling that you have understood where they are at. Okay. So what is the importance of this empathetic understanding is what are you doing? You are helping them see that they are understandable that whatever I'm going through, my counselor is able to see or counselor is able to understand or resume. They are able to internalize what I am going through and what happens when someone feels understood, it increases their sense of esteem. It increases their sense of being able to be intelligible or workable with someone. Okay. So the importance of empathy is you are helping the counseling see that they are understandable and you're also helping the counseling see that listen, you are important and whatever you are going through is important for me. Okay. So when you are trying to do that, you are demonstrating that you are taking every effort and willingness to understand them. So that's the importance of empathetic understanding. Now what are the functions of it? Okay. I'm just going to quickly go through it. It builds a relationship with the counselor and the counseling. When you are in a place of empathy, it stimulates your counseling to actually explore more about their problem. Right. You're just not dealing with it on the surface level. You're breaking things like up like an onion. Remember, we spoke about that, you know, to getting into the core, you are breaking things up when you are in a place of empathy, they are in a better place of self exploration. They have their exploring more about where they are at. What is going wrong? What is the need that I have? You're actually working through that. It checks understanding. That's extremely good and empathy is because you are on track on the same track. You're running parallely. You're not running in opposite directions with your counseling. And of course it provides support. It helps in better communication. It also helps in focusing your attention on the person and the problem. It also empathy helps you restrain yourself as a counselor, not to give quick answers, not to give quick solutions, but to stay in the pace of the counseling. Okay. And it paves the way. Paves the way for what? For greater exploration. Okay. So these are some of the importance that you would see in empathy. The point of, you know, in counseling you don't sympathize. Sympathize, like I said, is you are standing distantly and you are not expressing that you are with them. And some of the ways of doing that is, oh, okay, you know, that's really sad. So, you know, you do not spend enough time feeling what they are feeling. And when you sympathize, you're quickly getting into a place of solutions and say, okay, let's figure out how to work through this. But that's what we call is grounding. It's needed for a counselor to be grounded in the space of knowing that my emotions are being understood. Remember, the problem is there, like a cloud, but below that there are extreme emotions that need to be really worked on, to be processed. And in sympathy, you're moving away from the place of emotional togetherness and moving away and looking at solutions. Okay. So be careful not to sympathize. Okay. I am going to move into the next one. Okay. So in empathy, you generally use a statement like this. Okay. You feel dash because dash. So if you remember our Susan's example, remember, we will go back to it. We will go back to it in the next hour, but it's about your feeling. So whenever they're saying something to you, you're saying, hey, Susan, you feel confused because of all the events that's been happening at your home. Or you feel nervous because of the exam that you are going to face today. You feel lost because whatever, right? So the empathic understanding has a formula. And this is a good formula to use because the minute that you do this, you say this, you will begin to see someone opening up. Now, I have a maybe like a homework for you all to do. Okay. And test this out if you all have children at home. And let's say your child comes crying to you. Okay. Let's say he or she had a fall and they come crying to you. What do we often say? Why didn't you be more careful? I told you not to go over there. I told you, right? So what is this? This is not empathy. You may be feeling bad, but you're not empathizing, but rather use this. Your child comes running and says, oh my, this must be so painful. I know this is hurting, isn't it? So what are you doing? You're actually gone back to your two-year-old or five-year-old shoes and saying, okay, you know, my daddy and my mommy understands that I'm feeling like this. And within minutes, you will find that they will be happy. They will run away and go because why they have been understood. They have been, their feelings have been accepted. Okay. So try this at home, whether it's with your spouse or with a friend or with your child, try this at home and instead of, instead of rebutting or giving them a solution, get into the place of saying, oh, you feel upset because you feel angry because the maid didn't come today or you feel upset with me because I ignored you. You get into a place of empathic understanding. You will find that that conversation goes extremely well. Okay. So is that a deal? Will you try that? Okay. Great. Okay. Okay. Good. All right. So we'll move on. The second one that we're looking at is the first we said is empathy. The second is what we call as unconditional positive regard. Okay. Now I'd like you to pay attention to the words that I use here. It says it's not conditional positive regard, but it is unconditional positive regard. So what is, what does this mean? So let me let's unpack this. Okay. This is something that's extremely vital for us in our relationship with others. And, you know, we see scripture on this too where it says love one another as I have loved you. Okay. So if you, if we were to unpack these, these terms, one, unconditional, what does it mean? It is something that there is absolutely no conditions held to that in the sense of, I accept you no matter what you have done. Okay. There aren't any conditions of acceptance. It is the opposite of an evaluating attitude. It is an opposite of saying, okay, this is what you've done. So, you know, I don't think I can accept what you're doing. So this is, it's a central concept in, in counseling in order to build a good interpersonal relationship. Okay. And you see that it is a need. It is a universal need for people to feel accepted, not based on certain conditions. Okay. So unconditional meaning there's no condition at all. There is just absolute acceptance. Positive means a warm acceptance of the person or a pricing. What is it saying? A sense of value that you are placing to the person. Okay. And it isn't based on their color or their creed or their, the crisis that they've been or their behavior or the kind of person they are nothing. It's just a warm acceptance of the person and regard is caring. They are respecting them as someone who's absolutely unique and absolutely precious. Okay. Now, this unconditional positive regard, it is an attitude. It is something that is there within. Unless it's there within, it cannot be, it's not an action that you can do to someone else. So think of someone who you, who you judge. All right. And you, you just pay a little bit of attention to what you feel about them. And then you will know that the issue is in your mindset. The issue is in the way that you have seen them as a person. Maybe they've done something to you and it is out of that that you, that you regard them. Right. And maybe you don't talk to them. Why? Because in your mind, okay, they're not trustworthy or in your mind, you know, I can't talk to them because this is what they have done. So remember unconditional positive regard. It is an attitude. It is a feeling. It is a mindset. And it is generally not an action towards others. Okay. It also shows support and acceptance of a person, no matter what the person says or does, you are, no matter where they are at, you are continuing to accept them. Now this, I know, you know, as a lifestyle, it's far easier to do it, I believe as a counselor than as a person with, with members of your own family or friends, right? Because there is so much of an emotional attachment. But that's what we are called to do. That's what Jesus called us to do, to unconditionally love and accept others. And that's so much more in counseling where you are going to be meeting with people who have very different backgrounds, who come with different stories, quite unacceptable from your own values and thoughts, but showing them the acceptance of who they are as a person. So remember whenever you see people separate the person from the problem. Okay. The person is different. The problem is different. Just like how, you know, in parenting seminars, you would say separate the child from their behavior. Right. You don't say you're a good, you're a bad boy, but you would say, you know, your behavior is something that needs to change. Remember, always separate the person from the problem. Okay. So what does unconditional positive regard do? It shows an attitude of respect that you respect the individual no matter what they have been in. There is a sense of acceptance. There is a sense of warmth. You price them and you give them a sense of value. You're affirming that they are valuable. And what are you doing here? You are demonstrating the same value that Christ showed towards you. You are doing it in turn to someone who comes to you for help. Okay. Now, unconditional positive regard it showing shows that show shows a non-possessive care. What does that mean that, for example, let's say your counselor says, you know, they want to make a choice that is totally outside of what you all have been discussing. Okay. Like, you know, one of these extreme examples of they made a choice that, you know, they want to continue a certain affair of marriage affair. Right. And you have spent many hours working with them where, you know, you've kind of figured out the pros and the cons and finally they say, yes, you know, I should go into this and they do that. And finally, they go and do something else. What is unconditional positive regard mean that you will continue to accept and engage and to regard them no matter whatever the decisions they make. So you have, your feelings are not with any kind of a reservation or with evaluation. Okay. This is what he did. So now, you know, he's a gone case and I just have to let him be your, you know, when he comes back next ask, next ask him, why don't you do what I said that, you know, how is this going to help and, you know, expressing your irritation and your anger. Now that's something that we need to work on that no matter what the person comes back with, we actually show that sense of unconditional positive regard. Okay. So something that Carl Rogers said is that, you know, every person is like a sunset that every time someone comes to you, if you look at a sunset every morning, I'm sorry, every, every evening, every dawn, it never replicates another. It's always different. And this is the way that he's put it, you know, every person is like a sunset and, and the way that you deal with people are very different. So it's important that we don't put people into boxes and thereby, you know, create, create cookie cutters of them and say, okay, this is the way that you need to react. And this is the way that you need to be. You are with them unconditionally through that. Okay. We'll go into the next one. Okay. The next one is genuineness and congruence. Okay. What is genuineness? Genuineness is a place or a state where you are in, in your relationship with them, what your responses are, your outward responses are matches with what you feel about the person. All right. So, and remember that, that's, that's extremely important in counseling. So if, if you're sensing something that's a negative about your counseling, but you're attempting outwardly to be, to be positively regarding them, that can be easily found out. Okay. It can, it can be, it can reveal itself to your counseling. So genuineness is really working on what, on how you respond outwardly and that matching with what is going on inside. Okay. Now this is, is definitely something that, that is important for a counselor, counselor to be able to evaluate and work on. So the, the feelings that a counselor experiences within them can come about and be communicated if we aren't careful. So, you know, as the slide says, feelings that the counselor is experiencing is available to him, available to his awareness. And he's able to live these feelings, be them and able to communicate them if appropriate. So that's, so for you as a counselor to be very clear about where you are at, when you are in the presence of a counselor, counseling, like for example, there are times that, you know, as a counselor, I personally, there may have been certain settings or certain issues that I have felt extremely uncomfortable to deal with, you know, whatever, whenever a counselor does come. And if, and the, and genuineness means to expressing to my counseling that this is probably where I'm at. And this is not something I can be of support to them. And as a result, I would be referring them to somebody else. Because if you're not in a place of genuineness, a counselor can quickly identify that and see the incongruence in the way that you are responding. Right. So it is an accurate matching of your experience, your awareness and your communication is these three things, your experience. That means you may have experienced something which is close to what your counseling is and how you are aware of that and what you communicate is a, is an important thing. So that's, that's what really matters in genuineness because when you, you're being congruent or when you're being genuine, that's when trust begins to build greater. And what you're doing, what you are also attempting to do with your counseling is you are helping your counseling see that there could be certain weaknesses in you that you're attempting to overcome, but you don't not want to use the, the therapeutic relationship or the counseling relationship to work on it. And it helps you as a counselor to learn more about yourself and also open for change or open to, to work on that. That's what you're also expressing to your counseling. And that's when they begin to build that confidence in you as a counselor. So that's, and that's something that a counselor does like a model. Okay. And why is that it is, it's, you know, you've, you've heard this adage do as I say and not as I do. Now that's something that we've got to be careful of because I may be saying something, but I may be doing something else. And that's not what I want to model to my counseling. I want to model that whatever I am going through inside is what I would want to behave and what I would want to say. So that's, that's something that we, we will need to ensure that we keep, keep going. Okay. So these three constructs, sorry. Yeah. So these, yeah, I'm just going to go back to show you that mean slide. Yeah. So these three constructs of empathy, of congruence or genuineness. Okay. And unconditional positive regard are highly essential in a relationship to be built. Now, whether definitely in a counseling relationship, but then when you take these three principles, these three attitudes into any relationship, you will begin to see the trust that, that openness, that sense of willingness to, to open up definitely enhances that counseling session. Okay. All right. Any questions up here? Any questions? I have a question maybe you can answer in the next session. Let's say for a person, as you mentioned in between like, you know, a person sharing and we suggest something and so especially when it comes to addiction and being a part of it, you know, we tell them how do we overcome it through the word and stuff. And after a few months, this person comes to us and saying, they're not the same happened again. And so how do we, you know, the principles are even the same. How do we overcome some temptation is either same, but how do we communicate that without, you know, judging? Maybe, maybe we can discuss in the next session. Okay. Sure. We'll probably look at that in the next question. Okay. Next session. Okay. It's 10.53 on my clock. We will come back at 11. Three for our second day. Okay. Thank you.