 What is micro-messaging? Micro-messages are the small messages that we send to others with both our behaviors and our words. They're sometimes called micro-aggressions, but they may not be aggressive or even intentional. There's two types. Micro-affirmations are small positive messages we send to others. These small behaviors affirm that a person is respected and belongs. They can be simple. Shaking hands or introducing yourself to a first-time guest at a club meeting. These small gestures make people feel welcome, but we can also send negative messages. Even when we don't mean to. They might look like little jokes about a person's appearance or making assumptions based on the way they look or speak. When we say these things, we may be attempting to connect or even encourage. We may not mean to be rude or upsetting, but it's important to think about how these messages might be received when someone's heard them so many times. Micro-aggressions can be described as death by a thousand cuts. She might feel alienated or like she doesn't belong. It's always the impact here that matters, even if the intent is good. As an Asian-American woman, I know that people used to think that I was really good in math. And even though that sounded like a compliment, it made me really self-conscious about my own skills or how people saw me. So I think micro-aggressions are one of those things that we can't be perfect, but being more mindful and understanding other people's experiences helps us be more careful about what we say. Most of us can think of a time when we've mistakenly hurt someone's feelings. How did we know? Sometimes things get uncomfortably quiet or someone will try to make a joke out of it. Other times we can see it on their face if we're paying attention. It's important that we acknowledge when we make mistakes and work towards doing better. It can go a long way towards repairing an unintentional hurt. If we're, or myself, are unintentionally hurting someone's feelings, I hope that I recognize it. I hope that the person on the other end says ouch, or that brings it to my attention, or frowns, or some indication that I know that I need to adjust my delivery to that individual or that audience. As an educator, I'm not perfect either. I'm just as human as the next. An important part of being welcoming is looking at the negative messages we get from society that can result in our being biased against a group or a type of individuals. Try to become aware of your own biases and confront them. We all have them and we can all unpack the suitcase of misinformation. The better we understand our own, the less often we'll make mistakes that hurt others. And the more we practice recognizing them, the easier it will get. What about if you hear a microaggression from someone else? A fellow volunteer or even a visitor? Hey, we don't do that here. I don't believe that's true and that feels bad to me. What do you mean by that? It can be hard to say something in the moment, but just think. This person may hear those kind of comments all the time. What if this was the turning point where she decided science isn't for her? It didn't feel welcoming. What if instead you were prepared and knew what to say? It's good to have a few simple phrases that show that you're not okay with the micro message and that you're serious about creating a space that's welcoming for everyone. Be both gentle and brave as you look at your own thoughts, biases, and actions. We all have them. This work can be challenging, but it's also so important. While this might seem like a side note to public engagement, it's really at the heart of bringing science to more people.