 Welcome back to the 21 convention. I hope everybody had a great lunch. Our next speaker has been supporting the convention since 2008. He is the world's number one pickup artist. Welcome, Adam Lyons. Awesome. Hey guys, it's good to be back. I like it in Orlando. I know the 21 convention sort of like traveled around and being sort of everywhere. Orlando feels like home. It's like this is where it started. Got a lot of new faces. There's so many people here that I sort of haven't seen before, which is really cool. I want to talk a little bit before I get going. I've got a pretty fun talk for you guys. We're going to be covering something. It's one of those topics that's like a staple in the pickup community. It's like everyone knows it and yet no one actually knows how to use it or how it works. So I kind of want to just bring that up a bit and sort of explain to you a number of different ways to use this really powerful technique. But before I get into that, I kind of want to explain about getting an idea of kind of like the kind of people that we've got around us and the kind of people that you guys are. So very quickly, before I start, how many of you guys are like a very would consider yourself sort of like amateurs? You're like new to this. You want to get good? Just a show of hands. Two, three, four, five, six, a few of you. Okay. And now how many of you would say you're sort of quite proficient at this? You've been doing this for a while and you're pretty good. Raise your hands. So, okay, so that's that's much less. One guy's like, I'm not sure. I'm in between. I'm kind of, I'm kind of, you know, depends who you compare me with. He's like, you know, if you compare me to somebody who's really bad, I'm good. You can compare me to somebody who's really good. I'm bad. Okay. That's that's where he is. Okay, cool. First of all, I like to think about where did we come from? What, you know, why, why do we suck? Why, why were we not very good? And I've got a lot of theories about this and we're going to be looking into that a little bit. One of the big ones is I think I can pinpoint the exact moment my game started dropping. I came from a really interesting background. So I'm going to share this. If you have never shared this before, it's a funny thing. In my local layer, it became like a funny thing to talk about like Adam's background. They'd be like, when it first came out, everyone's like, oh my God, really? They're your parents? I'd be like, yeah. And they're like, man, it's crazy. My mom was a stripper and my dad was a, like a croupier for Playboy Casino. And so they were, they were my parents. And everyone's like, oh my God, you came from that background, you needed to learn games like you're the one, you know, you're bringing foundation, pulling it all together and showing everybody how it should be done. You learned the game and you went back to where it was. And I'm pretty sure I would have been a natural. I'm pretty sure a long time ago, I think I would have been a natural. But I know when it happened. I can exactly pinpoint what happened. There I am, going out at school, hanging out with all my classmates at school, sort of like little Adam. And as I'm hanging out there, I see this girl and we start floating. Now, this is like, you know, eight-year-old floating or whatever. It's not real floating. It's kind of like you look at each other, you smile at each other, she smiles at you, you giggle, you look away from each other. It's that kind of like silly little floating, you know? We were before the stage of handing each other notes in class and probably just before the stage of telling our friends to tell the other we liked each other. But we'd gone past the point where we hated each other and we're hitting each other. You know, it was like that kind of stage. And so I'm there. And I finally get the courage to go up to this girl and sort of tell her what I think about a teller that I like her. And there's like little old me, maybe I was 9, 10, whatever, but I was only a little. And I go up to her and I'm like, hey, I just want to say like I really like you and I wonder if you want to go to the school dance. And all her friends are with her. And they look at me and they go, no. She wouldn't want to go and dance. Why would she want to dance with you? She's much better than you are. And that was the start of the end of my ability to observe what was going on. Because what happens is I learned that when a girl is attracted to me, when a girl is showing me a sign of interest, actually it means she doesn't want me. And that takes shape in the rest of my life. So you can now fast forward 15 years from that point. And now I'm sort of like, you know, 23. And I see a girl in a bar and she looks at me and she smiles and she looks away. And I learn, oh, she's waiting to let me down. She's going to make me look bad. She's going to make a fool of me. I better not talk to her. That's what I learned. That was like my process of growing up. And then it took coming to game to realize that actually that isn't necessarily true. What happened in the past was she had bad friends. There were social groups going on. Her friends were jealous or whatever the reason was. But that literally was one of about a thousand things that stopped me from potentially being the natural. Like I may have been able to be. And my argument about game, I don't think everyone's like natural is not natural. I don't think there's such a thing as a natural. I think we're all naturals. I think inside every single one of you, you have the ability to be good. Just get an idea. Who here agrees with that? Who here thinks actually inside them? Raise your hands high so I can see. That's like the whole room, right? Every single one of us does believe that. And like this is a really big point. And I hate the guys that are sort of like, oh, you know, I studied this natural or whatever or this natural is really good. No, no, we're all good. Just some of us have different problems in our past. We have issues and we don't see things necessarily the way they should be seen. Perception is a very important part of reality. It's a very important part of game. Today, I'm going to be teaching you a little bit of voodoo mumbo jumbo stuff. I'm going to show you how to fuck with reality a little bit. So I want you guys to pay attention to what's going on. Not just what I'm saying, but the way I'm saying it. Because we're going to be revisiting some of what I'm talking about and showing you that actually what's going on up here might be a little bit more than meets the eye. And there will be people that don't see it. There will be people that are like, no, there's nothing going on there. But they're just not really focusing on actually what's going on behind the words in the subtle subcommunication. If you think about it, the majority of communication isn't done by the actual words. It's done by the subtle nonverbal communication that we use. And I'm going to start getting you guys to maybe wake up to some of the verbal subcommunication we use, not the nonverbal stuff, but the verbal subcommunication, which is also going on. So we're going to be revisiting that. It's going to get a bit complicated, but try and bear with me and hope you guys understand. Before I go on, just to have interest, obviously we've spoken about guys that are shy and sort of like a little bit unconfident, which is definitely where I was. Standing up on stage was something that was always going to be scary for me. I always liked the idea of being up on stage. I remember as a kid, I wanted to sort of like do public speaking, but I was always scared of doing it. And I forced myself to do public speaking classes as a kid. And so I'd get up there on stage. I remember being really scared because the more I did it, the better I got at it. And games, the same thing. When I first came up with the idea of doing game, it was very scary. The idea of talking to someone I've never met before, talking to a girl, that's a very scary process. And yet, the more I did it, the easier it got. So again, just a question. How many of you here are scared of approaching still? How many of you is that a problem for? Raise your hand. That's a very small number, right? There's a few of you guys. Some of you are still scared. Okay. The more you do it, that lessens, but it never really goes away. As a complete set of things, how many of you would be okay coming up on stage? Sorry, how many of you would be scared about the concept of coming up on stage and giving a public speaking talk? Raise your hand if the idea of standing up on stage scares you. Just... No one. That's awesome. Now everyone's hands are getting up. So one, two... Anyone else? Raise your hands high, guys. So just gonna say one, two, three. Yeah, right. All right, cool. Let's just get an idea. Cool. So what's really fascinating is a lot of you guys would be a lot more comfortable coming up on stage than you would actually going out and meeting girls and talking to girls, because I run it because one of the biggest fears that people tend to have is actually public speaking and going up on stage. So all of these things you can get rid of by practice. The more you do something, the better you get. But being armed with the correct tools for practice helps. You guys see what I'm saying there? Having the correct tool when you go out and practice ensures that you've got a much higher success rate than if you went out there alone. You know, imagine going to fight a war and someone said, all right, San, are you ready? Here's your little pea shooter here, your catapult. You're going to go with that. Everyone else has got AK-47s. But you've got good spirit, good heart, I believe in you. No, they're setting you up for failure. If you've got the right tools before you go out there, you've got a good chance of success. Now, having said that, the situations that you're going to be meeting, they don't require actual physical tools. They require verbal tools. And so during this talk, we're going to be talking about the power of qualification and how qualification can actually empower you in a number of different situations to bypass situations and problems that you may be having and also how to use it to kind of refine the work that you're doing. Now, to start off with, I'm going to tell you guys a story about one of my students. We're going back about a year or so now and I was working with this private client and I wanted him to get laid. It was like, Adam was working with this guy for one night. He'd been working with about five or six of my other instructors over the period of like a week. And it was like, finally it was Adam's turn. I was like, you know what? I'm going to shop all of my instructors. I'm going to do everything I can to get this guy laid. So we're out at night, we're talking to some people and he gets talking to this girl and him and the girl are hitting it off. They're getting on really, really well. And I start thinking, all right, I need to do something that's going to help get these guys together, something that's going to make it happen. I think I could pull him out and give him some game advice but pulling him out could be a problem because if I pull him out, that interaction is going to lower and then he's got to get back in again and build it up again. That could be hard. So I don't want to do that. So I want to affect his game. I want to get him a good chance of actually taking this girl home without interrupting what's going on. A little bit difficult, right? Not an easy thing, especially as an instructor. These are the problems that we kind of have to think about. So I work it out and I've got a foolproof way I know exactly how he's going to get her home. So I go to him, oh dude, do you mind if I just borrow your phone for a second? I think mine's having an issue with signal and I just want to make a quick phone call. So he's like, yeah, no problem. Give me the phone and I'll walk away. This is the genius. I take the battery out of his phone. Put the phone back together, give him back his phone. I've got his battery in my pocket. And I'm like, this is pure genius. At that point, I say to the girl, hey, just so you know, this guy doesn't know where we live, which is true. He didn't know the address of the place he was staying at because we always picked him up and brought him home. So I was like, I know he's been drinking and the two of you are having a lot of fun. Do me a favor. I was like, make sure he gets home. My dress is in the street and you just go, no, no, no. So if you just get him home there, that would be great. And if he's got any problems, just tell him to phone me. I'll see you guys later. And off I go. And I'm like, this is pure genius. I was congratulating myself the whole night. I was like, there is no way this guy is not going to get laid. I was like, it's the girl's pressure to take him home. She's got the pressure on her. I gave her the responsibility. And I know his phone doesn't work. And she hasn't got my number. He has no way of getting in contact with me. No way of getting back to me. He has to go home with her. I was like, they're flying. They're talking to each other. All his logistics are handled. I did a previous talk about logistics, if any of you guys are wondering about logistics. All his logistics are handled. This is done. This guy is getting laid. No problem. So I sit back. I got home. I have a drink. And I'm like, yeah, this is the easiest thing in the world. There's no problem whatsoever. The next day, he turns up at 11 o'clock in the morning. And I go, huh? Huh? Who gets you laid? And he goes, I didn't get laid. What? How did you not? How in that situation did you not? You're flirting with each other. You're kissing. You go back to her place. Dude. He goes, dude, it went bad, man. How can you? You can't mess that up. I was like, you have to, like, want to mess that up. He goes, no. Dude, believe me. I tried. I was like, all right, well, what happened? He goes, well, it all went sour when we got in the front door. He goes, we couldn't remember where you lived. So she took me back to her place. I'm like, of course. That's exactly what was supposed to happen. He's like, yeah, but man, she's got this dog. I'm like, what do you mean? She's got a dog. He goes, no, it's like the biggest dog you've ever seen, man. It's like a great thing. And it doesn't like people. He goes, I get in and the dog attacked me. He goes, this dog just, like, drugged me down to the ground. It started, like, biting my arm and shit. And I'm, like, bleeding on the floor. And this woman's over me. She's like, oh, my God. And she's trying to pull the dog off me. And the dog's, like, going at it. So I locked myself in the bathroom. And I'm scrambling around trying to find bandages and stuff. And there's all this medication, dude. I don't know what kind of shit she was on, but it was bad. And then she's like, let me in. Let me in. So I'm like, okay, I let her, she lets me in. She locks the dog outside. She bandages me up. And I was like, dude, but you couldn't swing that. I mean, all right, you're bleeding. But dude, think about it. That's like a good advantage. You've got sympathy there. He goes, yeah, man. But then things just got awkward. I'm like, how? How did he get awkward? He goes, I mean, her husband, dude. I'm like, her husband? He's like, yeah, man, she's, her husband was there. I was like, oh dude. She doesn't have a wedding ring though. I checked. He goes, no, no, no, they're, they're separated. Not divorced, but separated. I'm like, oh, well, why, why was that a problem? Well, because you still lived there. Oh, oh, that's awkward. They sleep in separate rooms. He goes, yeah, actually he was a really cool guy. We got on really well. He's like, so he just, he just slept in the other room. And I went back to her room. I'm like, dude, I went back to her bedroom. How did she mess this up? He goes, did I tell you she's a lesbian? She's, how is she a lesbian now? And he goes, that's why they broke up. She's a lesbian. She's got a girlfriend. And I was like, was her girlfriend in the room? And he's like, no. And I was like, oh, there you go then. I was like, no problem. I was like, I was like, I met lots of lesbians before. I was like, don't worry about it. I was like, at the end of the day, you're in bed with her alone. The dog's outside. The husband's in the other room. Dude, this all you have to do is just have to escalate. He goes, I didn't need to. What do you mean you didn't need to escalate? He goes, she was escalating. How did you not get laid? You're lying in bed with this girl. She's escalating. What was she doing? I don't know. She was trying to give me a blow job. Did you get the blow job? No, I pushed her off. Why? Why would you push her off? I didn't feel comfortable. Why did you not feel comfortable? Well, her five-year-old daughter was lying next to us. So, brings us to the power of qualification. What did this guy do wrong? What did I do wrong? I didn't qualify the situation properly. I did what I think most good POAs would do. We analyzed the situation. We make a call. The call was she wasn't married. They were flirting with each other. They liked each other. She was there alone. It makes sense. Fine. No problem. But in reality, there were a number of other issues that were there that one brought up. We didn't discuss the logistics. We didn't analyze what was happening. This is where qualification comes into play. It's one of the biggest things that POAs don't do. Why? Because we think of our penis. All of us. Especially men. That's what we do. You've got two brains. The smaller ones, the more powerful of the two. Once it kicks in, that's it. For all the girls in the room, and for all the girls that watch these videos, I want to help you out. I learned this the other day. It's a really powerful way. If you want to understand the mentality of a man, for about four days, five days out of a month, a woman gets incredibly horny. I'm literally looking straight at a girl here, and she's like, yes. Everyone can just confirm. Bam. And they go crazy. All they can think about is sex. Someone's just telling me they watched a documentary about musk. Nick was talking about it. About women get aroused to men's musk at a certain period of the month, whatever. They get incredibly horny for about five days. All they can think about is sex. Girls just want to get laid. They just want to have sex. That's what they want to do. Multiply that and fill it up for a whole month. That's a man. Give you an idea? That's us constantly. We are always like that. That little weird period where you go crazy and you go, I just want to party. I'm going to go out and get drunk. It's going to be so much fun. All for a month, every day. That's a man. That's the difference between us and them. And so we are led by our lines. They do dictate a lot of what goes on. And because of that, guys don't always make the best decisions. When we're talking to a girl, we don't think things through correctly. And when you first join game, when you first want to learn game, the way it typically works is people are just like, she's hot. I want to get her. Qualification refines that a bit. And by refining it, it actually helps us get what we want. The definition of qualification, I've got it written down here. It's essentially assessing whether a person is a potential fit for a product or service or something you have. So if we think about qualification from the idea of like you go to college, you get qualified. You're becoming qualified. You're becoming qualified to do a particular task. A doctor is qualified to do surgery. Providing that's the kind of doctorate they take. You guys with me so far? You are becoming qualified. The act of qualifying is finding out whether somebody is the right fit for you. And it's an incredibly important part of the process. Just at that level, qualification essentially lets us be choosy. And if we're choosy, we're in a position of power because we're making the choice. You guys with us so far? So it's going to get a little bit technical. But it's a very powerful way of thinking about it. Now I'm going to give you a bit of layman's terms that can maybe make this whole process easier. Think of qualification like filtering. We are filtering shit. If you think of it like that, you'll be fine. Essentially when it comes to surgery, you want to filter out the people that don't have medical doctorates. They are not the people you want performing surgery. So qualification at that point removes people from me becoming surgeons. That's the whole point. You do not want me in the room chatting up the nurse while there's some guy having some kind of heart attack. And I'm like, dude, I don't know what the fuck to do. But I am free tomorrow night. That's not going to help him survive. It's not useful for this guy. So you have a filtering process. So throughout this talk, we're going to talk about a number of different ways to use qualification. The first thing we're going to look about is how to use qualification to build good conversation. In that instance, we're filtering out bad conversation. When you're talking to a girl, you can have a good conversation or a bad conversation. We're going to use qualification to remove the bad stuff. We don't want to have a bad conversation. We want to have a good one. We're going to qualify that to make that happen. That's going to help all those of you that struggle with getting into a conversation and getting it flowing. Then we're going to dabble in something a little bit dark. A lot of people don't really realize how long I've been studying this or doing this. I've been doing this for a very long time. And I've learned all different aspects of game. And some of the stuff I've learned is a little bit darker. It's not the kind of like funny, fluffy stuff that you're okay telling people about. It's the other stuff that's a little bit more manipulative and a little bit more powerful. I'm going to touch that today. I'm going to show you guys some of that and maybe open you up a little bit to just how powerful this stuff can be. Finally, and in that point, what we're actually filtering out is we're filtering out behavior. We're actually going to filter out behavior we don't want in favor of behavior we do want. And then lastly, the final piece of the puzzle is we're going to be filtering out people. Essentially, we're going to be identifying and filtering out people that we don't want in favor of people that we do. And these are the three things that I'm going to be taking you guys throughout today. So, it was at Davis in 1973, the psychologist, identified that people have qualifiers. And we use these qualifiers to ascertain whether we want to start relations with somebody. So essentially, you'd look at somebody and you've all got your own qualifiers. We'd be like, you know what? This chick's blonde. She's got big breasts. And she looks like she's easy. She has all the qualifiers I want. Or this chick's a librarian. She has glasses. And she's got a sexy butt. She's got everything I want. That's essentially what he's saying that we do. And I think what's maybe missing that is a lot of people don't do that. I think, actually, a lot of people that are maybe a little bit more keen to have things start faster. I don't want to use the word desperate, but, you know, desperate. I think those kind of people are willing to drop their own qualifiers in favor of just having some kind of a connection. And throughout this talk, I want to show you guys how to bring that back and still increase your success rate. So, like, rein it in and still have some kind of success. So, let's look at somebody that might... Wait, no, first of all, what kind of qualifiers do you think we look for when it comes to girls? What kind of thing do you think maybe we look for? Anyone want to have a guess before? This guy first? Has passion. Someone that has passion. Would you be fair to say that everyone has passions? Okay, so here's a really funny one, right? This is what I like. We're talking about finding bad conversation. You're like, according to my conversations, I've met people that don't have passions. Right? They don't know them. They don't know them, or maybe they're just not telling them to you. This is where qualification is so powerful. We make an assumption, oh, this person doesn't have a passion, but did we just not find it? These are all really important things. You see how you can get very specific here, and that's what we're going to look at. That's what we're going to do. We're going to get specific. We're going to find out what are these things? What are these kind of things that we're looking for? Somebody else want to have a quick guess? Maybe we'll qualify. Go for it. This guy here. Cute smile. Someone's got a cute smile. Like, I need to go with a cute smile. I get that. It's a qualifier. This guy's working his hands up. Last one. Perfect. So actual personality that you can get on with. And we can... Now, one of the things I want to get you is maybe refine that further over time. We're not necessarily going to do it in this talk. Maybe think, what about someone's personality? You said one of the key things, which was negative. Someone isn't negative. That's a definite personality trait you can filter out. So these are the kind of things. But now, qualification's kind of funny. So what we're going to do is we're going to imagine a car salesman. Car salesman, they have to qualify their customers. Okay? They spend it a lot. And in fact, any of you guys done sales? Raise your hand if you've done sales. Awesome. Almost everybody here. Brilliant. When it comes to sales, we do, as a sales person, you qualify for sales. You don't want to spend an hour talking to somebody only to find out that in six years' time, they're planning on getting a job and buying a car. You know, if you're selling a car, you want to know right away, is this person going to buy it? But what do you think our car salesman's likelihood of making a sale is if he goes up to every single person and says, you know, so are you looking to buy a car right now? Or, hi, you know, which kind of car are you looking to buy now? If he puts all that pressure straight away, a lot of people are going to be turned off by that. Have you guys ever had that? Someone comes up to you, hi, how can I help you? Fuck off. You can't. You can help me by just going over there and not speaking to me, yeah? Whereas the real key to being a good salesman is to actually sort of like get in under the radar and work it up. Let's bring that back to pick up. How many of you would be worried if you were dating a guy? How many of you are in relationships? Let's get to know you guys. A couple of you guys. Not many. Okay, good. So how many of you, those that are in relationships and those that have been in relationships, how many of you would be scared if you came back to your girlfriend after going to the restroom and you found some guy in the middle of a talk with her and he goes, so you're cute. Do you want to have sex? How many of you would be threatened by that? Raise your hand if that would threaten you. You're seeing that. A couple, but not many. All right, so not really. That's not really... How about if you came back from that restroom and that guy was in deep conversation with your girlfriend? Raise your hand now if you would be scared. It's a bit scarier, isn't it? It's like some guy going straight up to her, being all direct and sort of like making it clear what he wants. She's in a relationship. That's a bit too fast. It's a bit too much. That's not as scary. Now, it would be scary if she sort of jumped on board on that. Then yeah, you're in trouble. If she's sort of like, yes, I would, please, take me away from this loser. All right, that's scary. But in general, we know that the chance of that working aren't going to be that high if she's in a committed relationship. On the other hand, if he's in this deep conversation, you got a little bit of trouble going on. So the salesman, he knows that. He has to work things up. When he's qualifying, he's starting off small and he's building it up. He's slowly talking to the person, getting to know them, getting in there. And he might... Rather than going straight, are you looking to buy a car? Are you sort of like, find out other things? What brings you here today? I'm just looking. I'm just having a look. Okay, great. Well, if you need anything, let me know. What brings you here today? Our car broke down. We're looking for a replacement. Bam. It's the kind of thing he's looking for, yeah? He's not going to come straight out there and be like, which car are you going to... or what credit card are you using to pay for your car today? It's not going to work. It's too high. However, there is a type of person that can get away with doing that. And it's very important that we know that just because the car salesman and employer, you're applying for a job, is it okay for the employer to say to you, what makes you think you'd be good to work here? Is that okay? Give me a... Let's get some voices. Yeah. Yeah, that's okay, right? That's okay because the employer has status. He has power. He's got some kind of actual control that allows him to do those things. And in fact, Kenrick in 1994 discovered that women are much more likely to cheat providing the person that they're going to cheat with has status. That's scary, right? That you've found that looks don't really matter. You can get some male model who can come straight up to your girlfriend and try and pick her up. He doesn't have that much chance. But someone with status, someone who's actually important, someone with power, they can. They can get away with doing more. Women allow that. For a point of view of qualification, the higher status somebody has in your life, the heavier they can qualify you. And the lower status, the lower they can qualify you. So we spoke earlier about identifying the kind of guys in this room and who we've got. Now, we've got some guys. I'm guessing you've got guys in here with a bunch of different problems. First of all, before we start, who has no problems whatsoever with game? Who is just hanging out, their friend got them a ticket and they're good or they're a speaker? Raise your hand if you have no problems whatsoever. I just want to get an idea on that. Go for it. If you are good with game. Okay. This is like just a couple of you guys. Awesome. So the rest of you, there's some kind of problem, there's some that you want to improve on. And I'm going to argue, most of you are going to fit in one or two categories. Either one, you can't get into a conversation. Maybe you can't get it started. Maybe it starts and it ends straight away. Maybe it just doesn't work. But for whatever reason, you can't get into it. For the other half of you, you get in, it doesn't go the way you want. Or maybe it doesn't always go the way you want. Or maybe you're just not in control of it. Does that sound about right to everybody? Does that sound... These are like the two... This is most... This is your mid-game problem. This is your typical mid-game problem. This is the issues you have right in the middle. It's sort of like the first part of the middle, which is, I've got a conversation started or I kind of know how I should. You know, one of the biggest reasons, guys have approach anxiety, on every boot camp, I analyze all my students to try and work out what the problems are. And I quiz them. Do you know the number one reason why people don't approach? Anyone want to guess? Don't know what to say next. Don't know what to say next. Not to start, they don't know what to say next. Because they'll be like, I don't know what to say. I'll be like, ask where Starbucks is. What do I say after that? It's not the first thing, it's the second and onwards. That's what they're worried about. Most people aren't scared of approaching. They're scared of approaching and not knowing what to say. So we're going to look at that first and then we're going to deal with, once you've got the conversation going, where to take it? All right. What's always funny to me about game is guys are like, girls don't really talk. Girls don't really actually have conversation. They never really talk to us. For those of you guys that are being in a relationship, I think you can back me up here. Try getting a girl to shut the fuck up. Now that's hard, yeah? Getting girls to not speak outside of the pickup community. There's jokes that women don't stop talking. You guys may have heard of these things, like jokes. Like people do it all the time. They're like, man, you know, my wife won't shut up unless I hit her a couple of times around the head of a frying pan. There's like those kind of jokes exist in the world. Like, because women don't stop talking. They don't. They're good at it. They're naturally good. They gossip. They talk to each other. It's like part of life for a girl. Yet in the pickup community, we're like, girls never speak. Man, I talk to this girl. I'm just speaking all the time. What you're looking for here is a conversation she wants to talk about. I'm telling you right now, my friend is dating this girl. She is super cute. She's blonde. She's about yay high. She's got nice breasts. She doesn't wear much clothing. She's super cute. But boy, that girl can talk, eh? Like, literally, we'll be hanging out and she'll just go at it from the minute she wakes up until the end of the day. Sometimes you just want to stick your dick in her mouth. Not for sexual pleasure, but to shut her the fuck up. It's like, I literally, I was with my wife the other day. I was like, you know what, I could really just, I love to stick my dick in that girl's mouth. My wife was like, why? I was like, to shut her up. All she does is talk. It's like my friend is obviously not having sex with her enough. Like, she needs to be so tired out that she doesn't speak. It's an issue. It's like, girls speak a lot, all the time. But the key is to get them to talk. Girls will talk when you're on a conversation they want to talk about, man. When they're happy with the conversation. That's the key. So when you're talking to a girl, as fast as possible, your goal has to be to get that conversation going to a topic, not where you want it to go, but where she's going to be happy talking. So that girl that had no, I'm not, dude, you may have found a girl that had no passion. She didn't. However, there's a really good chance you just didn't find something she was passionate about. I'll give you an idea. I used to do a lot of hardcore nightclub parties, a lot of them in London. And I'd hang out with these girls all the time and you'd get guys that would be like, man, these girls, they've got nothing to talk about. They're like, dick as shit, there's nothing going on up there. I was like, dude, they can talk forever, but you've got to find the right subject. Those girls want to talk about relationships. They want to talk about partying. They want to talk about having sex. They want to talk about drinking. They want to talk about extracurricular activities. That's what they want to talk about. That's what speaks to them in their life. Maybe celebrity gossip, but that's about it. So what you've got to do is learn how to isolate it. Now, the real key to this is finding qualifying questions that help you ascertain what a girl wants to speak, to talk about. So I'm going to give you guys a couple of examples. These aren't to use. These are to learn what the examples are. Okay, so I'm not suggesting these are routines. Rather, I'm suggesting you look at the makeup of the sentence and pull out the important parts. So let's start. The first thing that we're looking at. Hey, you know what? What's your favorite place to eat in Orlando? Favorite place to eat in Orlando. What's the key word there? What's the one word that we're looking at, guys? Favorite. That's the killer. Favorite. Bam. Once we find out the favorite place, we've got an in. We're like, all right, this is a place that we know she really enjoys. Or where's your favorite place in the world? Or what do you enjoy doing on the weekends? Enjoy. Favorite. These are the qualifiers. These are the powerful parts of the sentence. Your sentence can be pretty much whatever you want, providing you're adding these elements. What is your favorite? What do you enjoy? What do you like doing the most? Every time you're hitting on these things, you know the response is gonna be something they like talking about. Rather than something you direct, one of the biggest mistakes I get guys make is they try and control the conversation and take it where they want it to go. When you're in a conversation, go on to things that the girl wants to talk about. So a guy will make a point. He'll make a really key point and be like, you know what? What I want to talk about is, I want to talk about sex because that's where I want the conversation to go. So start meeting a girl and be like, hey, so how often do you think it's good to have sex? Or me and my friends are talking the other day. What do you think the likelihood is that a girl has sex on her first date? Some crap thing that they want to talk about, some routine they found. And yet if the girl doesn't want to talk the conversation isn't going to go anywhere. Yeah, there's a really good chance that you could get the conversation on sex if you could just get her to open up and talk to in general. So that's the first thing that we're looking at. We're looking at qualifying the conversation. If you control the conversation like that, if you use that to qualify the conversation to move it on to topics that you want to talk about or sorry, that the girl wants to talk about, then you can shape it and make it go roughly where you want it to go. Now the next bit. This is where stuff gets a little bit darker. We guys should imagine a situation. You've got two identical twins. One of these twins, a little bit of a skank. She's been around the block. She had sex with a lot of people. She's in and out at the STD clinic. She's got one of those punch cards they give you if you keep going there over and over again. Get a free visit. On the other hand, the other girl's a little bit homely. She's a little bit loving. Do me a favor. All of you that would rather have the homely loving one, give me a hurrah. That's pretty good. It's one of the things that I tell you on convention. You guys get involved. Let's hear it again. There's another hurrah. Hurrah. Awesome. One more. It's the biggest one you can do. Hurrah. Beautiful. Love that. It's great. Now, how many of you guys think of yourselves as fun and spontaneous? Just like you like to think that I'm a person that can be fun and spontaneous. Raise your hand if you think that's you. Give it a go. Awesome. What I'm going to do is this guy. What was your name? Sorry, dude? David. Do me a favor, dude. Just come up here just for one second. Thanks, man. Guys, random applause for David here. Hurrah. Awesome, dude. Good to meet you. How are you doing? You good? Awesome. Where are you from? Atlanta, Georgia. Awesome. Bad ass. Okay. Do me a favor. First of all, you can take your hands like this and raise them up. Awesome. It's pretty impressive. Next thing you do, take your thumbs like this and you sort of do like a Fonzie look. All right. Thank you. Appreciate it. Thanks very much, guys. Thank you for David. Okay. That was all random, wasn't it? That was all weird. Why do we do that? It was all crazy. We did that very specifically because at the beginning of this talk, I asked you guys who here is shy? Who here would not like to come up on stage and talk to people? David was one of the ones that put his hand up. One of the very few that said, I wouldn't want to do that. That's not something that I'd want to do. And yet here he was not just standing on the stage. He did the funky chicken. Me and David here, we both did the funky chicken. Is that impressive? Adam got some random dude to come up on stage and do the funky chicken. David, you don't have to answer this, but this morning when you woke up and you had your breakfast, I'm guessing you didn't think I'm going to be going up on stage later and doing the funky chicken. That's what I'm going to do. I can't wait. And in fact, when I said who wants to come up here and who would want to stand up here, you were like, no, no, I am not that person. I don't want to do that. And yet, by the end of the day, here you were standing up on stage doing the funky chicken. What went on? That whole sequence of events was using qualification to manipulate social situations. I was in three different occasions, and on all three occasions, showed you guys how it could work, specifically so that we can reflect back on it and look at what happened. The first thing, of course, was the identical twins. They're identical. They look exactly the same. The only difference in that situation that separates the warm-loving one from the girl that's a bit of a skank is my story. I said that one of them was a skank and the other one was warm and loving. And you guys all together were like, yeah, we'll have the warm and loving one. How do you know? How many of you in the room were thinking, I'd want to find out for myself? How many of you went through that thought process? How many of you were like, consciously thought, I wouldn't take your word for it, dude. I'd want to find out myself. I'd want to analyze that. That's your subconscious mind. When you're running game, that's the thing you want to be talking to. You don't want to talk to a girl's verbals. You don't want to talk to her face and the shit she says. You want to be talking to the subconscious mind. You want to be playing with the subconscious mind faster and more efficiently than she's capable of thinking herself. At that level, you're running stuff. You're making things happen the way you want it to. So with regards to that little story, just by adding a few little elements, we changed the story. There's a very famous psychology experiment that was based on observation where they showed a getaway. I'm never going to forget because I failed for this one. You watch this whole bank heist and at the end of it, you get asked the question, how fast was the car speeding away from the crime? And I was like, 50 miles an hour. And then you watch the video back and the car rolls at like 5 miles an hour. And I was convinced in my playback of the event, it was 50 miles an hour because they said how fast did the car speed away from the event? Speed away. That hit, a subconscious part of my brain, made me act in a completely different way than if I'd actually tried to recall it naturally. All human beings can be affected like this. How about the hurrahs? They were kind of lame. I hate it when people are on stage. They're like, shout louder. Everybody here. I hate that crap. But it's a really good example. It works every time. Why does it work? It works because again, I love the way that you guys are good at shouting. Let's have another one. And you all join in. You all follow through using qualification again. Telling you that I like how well you yell. Telling you I like how loud you guys are. You fall in line. First of all, some of you guys do it and some of you guys don't really do it. And then you get caught up and you all start joining in. You fall into that qualification. How many of you at the back of your mind were like, I'm not going to fall for that. I'm going to stay quiet. In fact, each time I'm going to get quieter because I want to. How many of you were like that? There's a few of you. I can see your faces. I know there's kind of people. Yeah. But at the end of the day, the majority of the people fall in line. And in fact, what's really funny is the guys that are sitting there being like, I do it the opposite with the loudest. It's how qualification works. It gets in your head. Finally, the last thing, this guy here, Funky Chicken Guy. That's not going to be your nickname, by the way. No one call him Funky Chicken Guy. But Funky Chicken Guy, he said right at the very beginning, at the very beginning of the talk, I would not want to go up on stage. I would not want to give a talk. And yet, there was standing up there doing the Funky Chicken. But all carefully worded, if I had just said to him, hey, dude, come up here and do the Funky Chicken, probably wouldn't have done it. So instead, I said, raise your hand if you think yourself is fun and spontaneous. Just so you guys know, his hand went up like this. Everyone else was like, his hand was like, he still wasn't sure. So I picked him, because I remembered he was from before and from here. So all I got him to do first was just stand up, come to the stage, small little qualification hoops, tiny little things, stand up here, raise your hands up, search your thumbs, put them to your armpit, step by step guiding him through. He had no idea where he was going. Each point, his brain was dealing with the one thing in front of him. And yet, I knew this guy was going to get up and do the Funky Chicken. From the minute he raised his hand and said, I don't want to go up there and talk. I knew that would be the guy. The whole thing was planned from that stage. He was playing the game so far behind, he had no hope of catching up. Welcome to the darker side of qualification. This is where you need to be. Most of the time when I'm in an interaction with a girl, people think of me as a lovable idiot. They're like, oh, Adam's fun. Adam's harmless. Adam doesn't know what he's talking about. Yet, I've got this background wealth of psychology. I'm just playing the game that far ahead. I want them to think I'm an idiot. I want them to think they're safe. I want them to think they've got nothing to worry about and they can manipulate me and do whatever they want at any point. Why? So that I can keep playing the game that I want. So how do you guys use this? The first thing you need to realize is human beings like being consistent. If somebody says they're going to do something, they typically tend to do it, at least within a small period of time. Within a small time frame, people stick to what they say they're going to do. Very powerful. Are you spontaneous and fun? Yes, I am. Awesome. Come up on stage. You've just confirmed that you are spontaneous and fun. The definition of spontaneous and fun is you're going to do things that keep the fun up and you don't need to think about it. You don't need to plan it. You'll just do it. Spontaneous. Very powerful words. Very powerful control there. So what we're looking at doing when we're talking to girls is we're pinpointing the qualifiers that we want to use. Now this is one of the things that pains me about the community. There's like these generic terms that get thrown around and get used and people think that like, oh, you meet a girl, tell her she's friendly. That always works because if you tell a girl she's friendly, she'll be more friendly to you. Hey, that's great. That is one of the most basic forms of qualification. It's awesome. But if you take that and you build it up, that can be fucking powerful. What if I don't just tell a girl she's friendly? What if I use something else? What if I tell her, you know what I love about you? I love that you're consistent. I love the fact if you say you're going to do something, you carry it out. How about that one? That's freaking powerful. If she confirms, if she's like, I am. I am good at that. I've now got a commitment that if she tells me she's going to do something, she's going to do it. Awesome. I love that. What could I use that for? I don't know. Maybe convince her she's going to give me a blowjob later on. All I need to do is to have a bet with her, maybe using like the Five Lies game. If you want to take it back to like crude game, I can make a bet and have her agree that if she loses, she's going to give me a blowjob. That's consistency plus losing some stupid game equals blowjob. But now we can get really deep about it. Is that going to work? Probably not. But at that point, if she doesn't fulfill that, I can use that to get compliance and something else. So I can shift it. You know what? I wouldn't hold you to the blowjob. I don't know if you're going to be any good at giving it. Throw it out there. Rise up to that challenge. Another qualifier. I don't know if you'd be good at it. Would she be good at it? We'll see. We'll do that one later on. Instead, she now owes me something. I'll cash that in. You know what you owe me instead? I'm going to walk outside. Let's go outside. I want to show you the park over the road. It's pretty. That gives me isolation. Not bad. Considering it's a lame old game from back in the day, it makes it a little bit of a qualification. Powerful technique. Now, in social engineering, hackers use this technique. It's known as preloading. It's the idea that you throw something out there to make something. There's some great examples about this, and I don't want to go too in depth in it. A bit later on, I'm going to give you guys some examples of some of the things that you can qualify for. But essentially, what you're doing is you're trying to make people to admit that you're not the type of thing. For example, if you want to take someone on the dance floor, you go, hey, you know what? You seem pretty fun. Are you a fun person? Yeah, I am. You've got some moves as well. I'm seeing you wiggling your butt. I bet you can dance. And you say, yeah, I can. You're awesome. You know what? Let's hit the dance floor. Bam. She can dance. She's a little bit fun. Really good chance she's going to follow across on the dance floor. Again, we're thinking a few steps ahead. We're messing with that subconscious. We're gaming to the subconscious. And in real game, that's what you want to be doing. That's exactly how you want to be running your game. And the last part, the final part that we're going to be dealing with is identifying. Identifying the kind of people that you want to be talking to. Let's go back to our car salesman right at the very beginning. Let's imagine we've got two car salesmen now. And they're both in the same car parking lot. We did this a bit earlier. One of them is just going around to people and being like, what credit card are you planning on buying your car with today? And the other one is sort of like getting talking to people, finding out the kind of things that they want or finding out if they're actually going to buy before he chooses what to do. Which one is going to have more success? It's kind of obvious. It's the guy that's actually going to analyze it. But what about if we take another guy, someone who's constantly speaking to absolutely everybody in there, but this guy, he's talking to everybody. No matter what. Hi, so what are you looking to do today? Oh, I'm just over the road and I see the cars every day, so I just thought I'd come and look at cars. All right, let me show you a whole bunch. He's going to waste the whole day talking to some guy that's been looking at cars over the road and he's just decided to come and visit. Not necessarily going to buy anything, and yet this guy has made a commitment of just wasting a whole day. It's where qualification comes in once again. At this point, we want to start filtering out people that are just not worth it for us. Imagine you decide, this break-in analogy down to game, you guys picking up chicks, all right? Essentially, it's like someone's like, I want to meet more women. So I'm going to go to the Pacific. So the fishing equivalent would be, I'm going to go to the Pacific with a rod and a worm, and I'm going to get more fish because there's so many fish in the Pacific, I'm bound to get one. Not necessarily the right way to go about things. You get a boat, you go straight out into the middle of the Pacific Ocean, you sit there with your little toy rod that you bought and your tiny little maggot and your weight. A chance of getting a fish at that point? Not very good. What kind of fish are you going to get? Who knows? That's the same as one of you guys being like, I want to get girls. I want to get girls in game. I'm going to use game and get girls. It doesn't really work that way. What's much better is if you refine it, you go to a habitat, you pinpoint a specific habitat and you tailor your fishing to that habitat. So for example, you know you want to catch a salmon. You're going to go to a stream where you know there's salmon. You can usually type a bait, they get salmon, you can usually type a rod that gets salmon. You're going to refine your game specifically for fishing to get that particular fish. When it comes to game, those that are good do exactly the same thing. What we do is we refine our game. So at any given point, when I want to meet a girl, I will refine my game to meet a type of girl that I want. Now yeah, we could just walk down the street, see a girl, go out there, get talking to her and pick her up. Is it possible? Yeah, it's possible. But to people that are good at game, that's like a beginners thing. That's not what top PUAs do. The best pick-up artists in the world, I've hung out with almost all of them. The best guys in the world don't do that. They don't waste their time just sort of like trying to pick and mix girls they meet in a shopping mall. They're actually very refined. I'm going to share some of you guys. I'm married. I'm not really interested in picking up chicks right now. It doesn't bother me. I'm in a relationship. On the other hand, being a PUA, you've always got it at the back of your head. What if? What if I wanted to? What if I wanted to go out there and pick up a chick? And I know from my game that one of the most powerful parts of game is having a lifestyle that enables you to pick up the kind of girls that you want. So even though I'm married, even though I'm in a relationship, I've made sure that I maintain a lifestyle that helps me get the kind of fish that I'd want to go after. That way, if anything ever happened, if heaven forbid there was an accident and I ended up being single, I could at any point put myself in a position to pinpoint the kind of people that I want to go with. So let's give you guys an example. For those of you that have followed kind of like my progress and the kind of stuff that I do, I'm an amateur filmmaker. A few years ago, I had a dream that one day I'd make a horror film. I might have said it at the 21 convention. I'm pretty sure it was here that I said it. If it wasn't, it was another big speech. I was like, I'm going to make a horror film. Well, I did make one. I made a horror film last year. I've won two film festivals with it so far. It's a very different position from someone who's just like a random guy walking through a shopping mall. I've got a very cool thing in my life. In fact, one could say, my status when it comes to filmmaking is better than your average person that's kind of got a video camera. Now, how I could use that if I wanted to in the future is if I wanted to, say, pick up an actress or a dancer, I could go and talk to her. And I wouldn't just be a car salesman from coming from underneath her. I'm someone. I'm a filmmaker with festivals that I've won. I've achieved something outside of pickup. Forget the whole pickup thing. As a filmmaker, I'm someone. Any actress that I meet anywhere in the world who isn't a big actress, who's like trying to get into it, is going to want to talk to me. She's going to want to work with me. I've got status. Now, when I meet a girl like that, I don't have to be like, you know, you come here often or who lies more, guys or girls. I don't have to. I've already qualified myself as a certain person and that gives me that status that employer. I can qualify her. I can talk about stuff I want to talk about knowing she's going to want to talk about it by just going to an area where I'm going to find actresses. Yeah, okay. I could sit in a mall and maybe I'll meet an actress or I could join a meetup group for actors and meet actresses. I could host one. I could do auditions on Craigslist. If I really wanted to meet an actress, there are so many ways that I could meet one. I could just hang out at theaters and meet people that work there and start building it up that way. Just so you guys know, most of the staff that work in theaters, the actual ones that take your tickets are actors themselves. This is a way of doing jobs in between. Small little things like that that I've built myself up. How about we forget that? About photography. I've realized that all the skills I was learning in filmmaking translate well into photography. So I bought professional photography equipment. I taught myself photography. And whenever I'm out and about, I take pictures of people. It's a fun thing I do. I actually get some of my students and if they want a Facebook picture off, then if they're doing a course for me, I'll take a picture from my house and they can have nice Facebook pictures and stuff. It's fun. I don't charge anything for it, but I do it. And every so often, when I meet girls that are cool, I take photo shoots of them for free. For a girl to get a free photo shoot that looks professional, it's great for them. But one day, if I wanted to pick up a model, I could go and talk to her. I could talk about photography. Something a model would be interested in. Oh, and once again, I'm not just some schmo on the street. I've got status. Now, yeah, that doesn't mean she's going to want to have sex with me. But it does mean that I can qualify her. It does mean that rather than sort of like working my way up, I can just be like, oh, what kind of modeling are you done? Even better, when it comes to models, give you a bit of an inside thing. For me, a model is one of the best. A girl's like, what do you do for a living? I'm a model. Just look and go, you're not my space model, are you? They're the worst. Most girls that think their models aren't models. They've got a portfolio and they've taken shots themselves on MySpace. They've not actually done modeling. Anyone who knows anything about photography is aware of that. So you can say that straight to the girl and about 80% of the girls you meet that are models in the street, those hot girls with portfolios, they're not really working. The minute you go like, not MySpace, right, like actual model, girl's going to flip a shit. You've actually qualified her. You actually made a clear thing. Hey, you're not one of those ones, right? Because I don't like those ones. They're like wannabes. Are you a real one? Now, if she is a MySpace model, she's going to start qualifying herself to you. She's going to be like, oh, no, no, I am, but I've got a deal. It's starting in six months. Total change. None of this, I'm a model. I'm hot. Instant change. Her attitude is going to change. She's going to look up to you because you called her out on it. But you didn't fake call her out on it. You actually called her out on it. You know what you're talking about. If she's a real model, she's going to be like, oh, no, I hate those ones. And you've just hit on a conversation on a topic that she's okay with. The importance of building yourself up and having some status. So with qualification, we can actually use it to refine things down even further. There's so many guys. One of my friends, he's got this theory. He's like, you know what, Adam? No one has problems with girls. No one. I'm like, dude, I get like 20 students on each boot camp and there are guys with problems with girls. He goes, no. They have motivation problems. What do you mean? He goes, there's just no hot girls around for them. That's what it is. He goes, you show any guy a hot girl. He goes, I'm sure he'll go for it. He goes, it's just all the hot ones are taken. He goes, there's just not enough hot girls. And that's his thinking. He's like, I'm convinced of it. And you know what? I get it. I get that. I understand. That is how it works. The problem is with guys, we're so desperate to get a girl. And when you're learning game, you're so desperate to make it happen, you will lower your standards and talk to a girl that you don't really have anything in common with just because she's a little bit hot. Qualification changes that. When you meet a girl, decide those qualifiers. Just like Davis said, decide what you want. What do you want? What are you looking for? What are the key things that you want to happen? Pin point what your qualifications are. And then you talk to a girl and then you throw him out there. Let's just say for example, this guy here, he wanted a girl who's not negative. That was one of the things that he said. So let's use that. So I'm talking to a chick and literally we've been like 30 seconds of talking to her. I'm going to look at her behavior. If she does anything negative, bam, fuck this bitch. I don't want to talk to her. If she doesn't, I can use it as a qualifier. You know what drives me insane? I hate negative people. It's so funny to be so opposed to negativity because I hate it, but it's literally the only thing I don't like. I just can't stand people that are negative. I have to keep them away from me because I really try and live like a positive lifestyle. What do you think about that? You throw out to the girl, see her response, see how she reacts. If she's a negative person, you don't want to date her. Forget about it. Don't worry about wasting your time on her. Move on. Find someone you do. If you hit a girl that thinks the same as you, you just hit a conversation topic she wants to talk about because she thinks the same as you. She agrees with you. It's also her opinion. She's going to be able to talk about that subject for a while because the two of you have hit on something you can both talk about. I have a whole... It's actually a free product. You can find a few hunt for it about negative attraction, about how to pick up girls that are really bitchy. And the whole concept of that is literally using this technique by pinpointing things that the other girl wants to talk about and we make assumptions. We assume that a bitchy girl wants to be bitchy. So we're basically bitchy when we first start talking and it's a very easy way of building it. And that's essentially what you're doing here. You're using your qualification to isolate people that not only are the kind of people that you want to get with, but every time you find a commonality, a connection between the two of you, you've also found a topic they want to talk about. So you've merged your whole game. Those of you that have an issue with I don't know what to talk to girls about, it's not a problem anymore. You talk about the stuff you want to talk about. You pinpoint the qualifiers, you find the things you want to talk. And if a girl doesn't have those qualities, move on, find someone else. That's going to cut a lot of the effort you're putting in. You can shave out a whole bunch of people. And then when you do find someone that you hit a connection with, you can talk for ages. We get guys come on our boot camps and they're like, man, you know my favorite thing to talk about in the world is tennis. And I'm like, dude, when you talk to people, you should talk about tennis. You should find out, you want a girl that plays tennis? Yeah, then talk to people about tennis. If the girl doesn't like tennis, don't be like, oh, I was talking about tennis. She didn't like it. I don't know what's wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with you. She doesn't like tennis. Forget her. Find a girl that likes tennis. Job done. You go in a venue, move around, talk to 20 chicks. You might find one that likes tennis. Where would be a better place to go to meet people that like tennis? So easy, right? Pick the habitat. Why are you trying to fish in the ocean? There's so many fish there and if you're not equipped to get every single type, you're going to have to wait until your type comes along. And the ocean's big. How long before a salmon comes across the Pacific Ocean? It's a long time. Just go to the river. Go where they are. Your game's going to be faster. You're in a much smaller pool. Your efficiency is much better and you know your qualifications are going to work. This is the power of qualification. It's essentially the ability to communicate with somebody subconsciously by thinking ahead of the game and shaping the conversations and the interactions and the things you want. And you can shave off the ones that we don't want to talk to. Now to finish this up, I'm going to take some questions after this, but just to finish up the talk, I'm going to show you a sample, a sped-up example of how qualification might work in an interaction. Now you have to bear with me in this. I'm going to be cutting out a lot of the filler in between. So I'm not going to have an actual conversation with myself. I'm going to speed up the whole thing and just use some of the qualifications I might use to set things up for a very specific situation. That situation I'm looking to build things up towards is a one-night stand. So I'm going to throw out some typical qualifications that I will use when I'm going to get a one-night stand. Now, I typically don't teach one-night stand stuff. Actually, if any of you want to learn it, I would refer you to Friends of Mine that I think specialize in it and are very good at it. I'm much more about the overall attraction process. I can teach it, just I know there are people that specialize in it. But what I'm going to do is I'm going to show you what I do, how I'd go about doing it. The first thing I'm going to do is I'm going to go into the venue and I'm going to start looking at the people that I think are going to be likely for a one-night stand. I'm looking for some key qualities here. The things that I'm looking for is a girl that's hanging out with her friends, but she's ignoring them. Rather than looking into the group, she's looking out. If you imagine four girls looking into each other, the one that's constantly looking at her shoulder out or with the men, that's the one that I'm looking for. Second thing, someone who's drinking a little bit too much, a little bit too early. Not because she's going to be drunk, but because she's looking for an excuse. She's looking for an excuse that can let her get away with the behavior she's about to do amongst her friends. If she's going to go home with some random person, then there's a very good chance that that girl has already decided that she's going to pretend she was drunk so she can class as an excuse later on. I'm looking for a girl that's dancing earlier on in the night. At the beginning of the night, it takes a while for people to get going. If she's dancing, she's out looking for a party. In girl speak, I want to go out and dance means I want to go out and meet a guy and get laid. That's typically the key things that I'm looking for. Once I've found out I'm going to open however I might go about it, might do direct, might do indirect, whatever I feel like, but then I'm going to set up some key qualifications. It's going to go something like this. You know what I like about you? You're fun and friendly. I can tell that about you. You're really outgoing and that's a really cool quality that I like. You're not just fun and friendly. You've got that fun and friendly, flirty vibe. You see what I did there? I escalated it. Fun and friendly, flirty vibe. You've got a little bit of an interaction where you're kind of like messing around. One minute you're being all cool and then the next minute is a really cool look. I like that. In fact, I try to not hang around with people that can't flirt. You're one of those few people that can. I give you a 10 out of 10 for flirting. High five. Bam. Sement that in. Qualify it and reinforce it about the behavior that I like. High five it to cement it. It's a positive feeling. Get them to keep working that way. At that point I'm going to start talking. You know what's really funny about you? I can tell you you've got that flirty vibe in that cute, sexy way. You know, not just like normal cute but cute, sexy. That sexy vibe going on where it's sort of like, oh, I'm really innocent. Don't touch me. Let's have sex. I love that. That's a really cool look and I think that's really cool about you. Bam. Setting things up and making it a little bit more sexual. Hey, you're spontaneous. Yeah. I thought so I could tell. Spontaneous fun. Spontaneous and fun. They're always a good combination. You know what I like to add into that? People are adventurous. You often meet people that are spontaneous and fun but they only do the same shit over and over again. They're spontaneous and fun. Let's go and drink again. That's not fun. Oh, that's really cool. Hey, let's go grab a drink. She can't say no to that. Why? Bingo. So we're going to get a drink. We sit there. We're having a drink. We're talking about it. You know what's really funny? I met a girl like you a few weeks ago and she was just like you. We got them really, really well. We actually ended up making out and having sex. Very powerful. I met a girl just like you earlier on. We made out and we had sex. That says I make out and have sex with people that are just like you. It's very important. We just seeded that in there. We'll throw that in later on again. She had another talk. So at that point I said but you know what was really funny about her? She was all cool and everything went really well but I found out she was one of those pussy-whipped people, you know? Now here's a funny one. That strikes contrast. Pussy-whipped to a girl. What the fuck does that mean? So she gets curious. What do you want about? Well, you know, she's one of those people that just does whatever her friends say. She's like a sheep. Friends says do this, she does it. Friends says do this, she does it. Those kind of people aren't cool. You're not one of those people, right? No, no I do what I want to do. Now her friends can't take her away at the end of the night. At the end of the night I'm trying to walk that girl home, get her to a taxi. Her friends are like no we're going here. I can just look at her and she's like I do what I want to do. Awesome. Which is exactly what I want her to do and that's exactly how the game should be played. So at that point we build it up, we keep going. We go back to the friends, we party with the friends, everyone's having fun. I'm like you know what? Let's start doing that fun adventure stuff. Let's go out. You know what? There's a park just outside. There's a fence that we're not supposed to climb over but late at night I find one of the most fun things to do is to go there, climb over the fence, spend the night in the park. You come in, what are the chances of that girl saying no? Pretty fucking low. Guys, thank you ever so much. That's the power of qualification. I appreciate it. It's a pleasure. Okay. Before we go on a couple of things. I know there's a bunch of questions. There's one guy who had his hand up like the whole talk. He's probably got a tired arm. He's got loads of questions so perfect. This guy's going to go around the microphone in a second to all the guys who have questions. A couple of things very quickly before we do that. I've put a bunch of free videos out online. If you just go on Google and type in Adam Lyons qualification you'll find more examples, ones that weren't in this talk of how to use this stuff. If it's interesting to you just go and find it. You can just Google it and you'll find it very easy, just Adam Lyons qualification. Also, I turned it into a product and I've got like this big thing. I'm a big fan of not selling anything from stage so what I've done is I've actually got three copies of it that I'm just going to give away for free. One of them is going to go to this guy here because he came up with stage so I've got one for you, dude. So don't worry about that and there's two more that I'll give away to... If you think... When you're doing your questions if you think that you can remember a time where you messed up because you didn't use qualification correctly and you can give me a summarized version of that and I think it's like one of the best stories then I'll give a copy to you so that's the criteria. Cool, so questions. A guy in the red shirt definitely had some questions so if you want to start with him at the very back, that guy. Perfect. Yeah, my question was when you're talking to a girl you said you want to direct the conversation to something that she wants to talk about so she'll talk about but a lot of girls are into like a lot of gossip stuff, a lot of celebrity stuff you know, Justin Bieber, whatever that I really couldn't care less about and to me, if I were to let her talk about that I would get really bored and just kind of space off but I still want to get into something a topic that she wants to talk about but I also want to talk about so how would you go about doing that rather than just going on to you know, whatever she wants to do. Beautiful, great question. So first, I'm actually going to answer your question in two parts. So the first part I can just tell from looking at you you don't have a problem getting into conversation with girls, right? Right. So this is the key thing to understand most people in pickup assume that what their problem is is everyone's problem. People have like two tiers of problems that first part I was trying to make it clear but I might not that first part was for beginners you can't get to where you get to in conversation. Those people, they need something and for those guys I would suggest reading up on celebrity gossip learn that stuff get down with it be able to hold a conversation about it. For a guy like you you're at the next phase you have no problem with getting the conversation done you've probably done that in the past you've got through your your shitloads of conversations to know the way women like to be spoken to for you moving it forward it's all about going for sex at that point when you get into a conversation with a girl everything you should be doing should be directing it towards sex and the way I do that is I would set up my plan of how I'm going to get laid and I'd use qualification to walk her through that plan so I actually I game in reverse I don't think open conversation close I think fuck location how she's going to get there how to isolate her from her friends how to turn her on and I go backwards so at your point you're probably just from looking at you you're starting the game back in the middle you probably get opened a lot when you do open you're probably quite sexual it probably goes quite quite good right away so the minute all that happens I would just know that I want to isolate her no I need her friends to trust me and all my qualifications would be based on that pattern so I'd be like alright I need her to get rid of her friends so at some point I'm going to have to drop in hey you know what's really funny I met this chick the other day she's not a really cool chick and then I found out like her mum was in the group I don't mean like literally her mum but she just did whatever this other girl said she was like a sheep man I hate sheep girl you're not a sheep girl are you so bam so we can use that and she said no no I want to do good and then you build up that pattern and that is how that's to help you that's the kind of thing you want to be doing but for those of you guys that can't get into that then yeah learn about Justin Bieber have an opinion about Justin Bieber why not he's got a good song there's like one song Justin Bieber sings it's okay I thought it was a girl that sang it for a long time and I found it was actually Justin Bieber but whatever it's not a bad song it's like baby baby baby it's fine I don't know any other song he sings but whatever but it's funny even though I don't like Justin Bieber that much I don't hate on him but I'm not a fan either I can hold a conversation down if I meet a girl and I was like you know hey what's your favourite thing to talk about oh my god Justin Bieber he's the best I say it's so fascinating everyone else I've ever met wants to kill him why is he so cool and it will give me an ability to have a conversation and honestly if she's that thick I'll have fun with it like I'm really capable of having a conversation with a chick who's really quite dense and just be making myself laugh constantly so I'm like awesome because I mean I just isn't Justin Bieber a girl I thought it was like justine is that not how it is no he's a boy everyone gets his role and I'll just stop me laughing at how funny this is and I'll just I'll self amuse myself so if you guys that are learning to get that conversation it's a way to do it but for someone who's advanced like you do I just qualify to sexual and make it happen cool next question this guy this guy here hey so just listening to what you're saying that I feel like it I don't know it makes a lot of sense to me because I've gotten to the point where I can open pretty well and like it's clear that it's okay to go sexual like in strip clubs I actually do better but like in bars that kind of like sort of the qualification sexual qualification I feel like I get stuck on yeah you know like the other I don't know it was like a week or two ago there was this girl who's sitting you know at the front of Kwa in you know I know it very well it's cool sharks yeah yeah they got rid of all the sharks the city made them take all the sharks oh my god somebody complained it's a nightclub with sharks in the dance floor for anyone that doesn't know it's like my favorite nightclub because of that and now the sharks are gone yeah no but she was like sitting there smoking a cigarette and just you know really really cute girl about 21 and I went up and you know she was just kind of like looking kind of old sad and I sat down and I started talking to her and like we got in this really good conversation and stuff like that but I think you know I didn't you didn't have your exit plan qualify enough because when I tried to I mean we had a day and she she finked out basically and like you know she worked she was like a waitress at a strip club to give you an idea here's how um here's how you plan it if you want to make sure a girl turns up now there's so many ways of dealing with flakes like that's a whole other thing but you can use qualification like you can use qualification for everything but if you want to use it for flakes you could be talking to and be like hey you seem like a really cool chick but I'll be honest every stripper like they're like let's have sex and then you have sex and then they're gone for a week and they come back and I feel like they're just using it for my body you're not a flaky person right if you say you're going to be somewhere you actually go there right and then we say yes you've got a bit more cemented now it's no guarantee but let's say you've increased the chance of doing it by 10% and that's that's what you're looking at doing so that's another way you can use qualification to help out in that area you get so used to this if you watch back to every seminar I've ever given you'll hear qualification through the whole thing you can't hear it it's because you're not looking deep enough I almost only speak in qualification like you ever hear somebody be like dude I've got this joke it's really funny okay here's how it goes it's really funny why are you telling me it's funny before you've told me the joke you're qualifying it you're making it clear that I want you to laugh at the end of this joke you guys with it you'll hear this all the time people use it everywhere so listen to those qualifications learn them and then learn how to use them yourself throw it into your own language it's a very powerful way of controlling situations around you like I said that's the first step into that dark game that's the nicest step if you're going to do it I'll tell you why it's the nicest because people do this shit all the time anyone thinks they don't do it they're lying to you and that in itself is qualification no I never do that you're a liar and you're trying to do it right now you're trying to convince me you never lie or you never manipulate anybody like as people in the audience I know but like you know Jewish moms are really good at this like Jude Gil BAM they hit you with it so so get used to using it consciously and use it with care I suppose cool next question next question from somebody I love teaching so well everyone's like nope understand it perfect I'm good everything's great no more questions any questions about anything anyone got a story about where they wish they'd use qualification go for it this guy this guy here with the yellow and blue stripey hi I really enjoyed that thank you my name's Melvin by the way nice to meet you I need to say what I love was you like I really enjoyed that and I was like wow that's like almost sex okay go I know I've practiced but anyway that's good a long long time ago I met this girl in a galaxy yep yes yes yes met this girl and the thing was she told me she was crazy and she qualified you dude hey just so you know I'm crazy she told me she was crazy but it was during the time I had a thing for damaged goods in a way because I wanted to save her I guess yeah so I got in a relationship with her and it was just the most I'm trying to figure out a way to just shorten it all pretty much after it all just ended like two days after Valentine's Day like she just could not handle just like affection in any way shape or form mm-hmm so after that for the longest time I was just feeling miserable depressed all about it and I could not be affectionate with the women for at least a year and a half after that and I thought because being affectionate was wrong didn't work in our relationship but eventually after finally breaking out through that I just figured out no I should have just realized her telling me she was crazy she was crazy wait here's how you could use qualification flat just to hear an idea girls like hey just so you know I'm crazy you instantly say awesome just so you know she starts acting crazy so you instantly throw it back at her so you set the standard right at the beginning hey you're crazy alright but you need to know anyone that acts crazy around me gets dumped so you set that boundary right as well and like that's a very big part of qualification is using it to control relationships to go the way you want in fact qualification relationships is incredibly important cool go for it yeah oh yeah you need to wait for your microphone hey Amanda could you bring me from here go for it I was just wondering do you use is there any way that you use this to control your own behavior constantly okay I qualify myself okay so awesome question by the way first of all I constantly keep myself in check so I am very conscious of when I'm using qualification on other people to make sure I don't alter their behavior too badly you're always going to be approaching behavior I try very hard not to the best example is with my wife obviously we're in a relationship and I'm very knowledge about qualification and all that kind of stuff so what happens is so Amanda will be like what are we going to do today so instantly my head's like this is what I want to do this is how to qualify her to do it that's the first thing that happens from years of game but I have to remember this is a relationship she gets a choice so instead I'm like well you know what you said the other day you wanted to do this this this and this out of those things which would you like to do and I try and suggest stuff that she wants to do rather than taking it the way that I want to go and that's a very conscious thing I have to stop my gut instinct and instead try and create a new thing and I also have to be careful not to go oh no what do you want to do because that's like a typical relationship mistake and I still do it every so often but like you know you really try not to be there I don't know what do you want to do which is the default rather than trying to lead it to always doing what you want to do so I consciously do that also I have to forgive people because people do this all the time people try and manipulate you and it will be there'll be situations where like one of my really good friends will do a really lame qualification on me to manipulate me to do something and he'll be like you know he'll be like dude sorry I'm 20 minutes late man it's been horrible I had to get a bus today bro I am so out of cash like it was horrible man like normally I'd just drive in but my car's in the shop I've got no money and you know that thing we wanted to do tonight I don't even know if I'm going to be able to go unless somebody lends me like 40 bucks man like it's tough and I'm just like qualify qualify qualify like I see all of it and then he's like yeah it's tough and I would much rather he just came up to me personally I'd rather he came up to me hey Adam listen man my car's in the thing I'm out of cash he gave me 40 bucks for a month I'd rather rather than preloaded it with the qualification because I know what's coming but I have and that annoys me like as a person I get really annoyed by it especially that with someone like my dad does it to me and my dad will build one up for a year I know what you're going to ask me you want an iPad like I know where this is going like I know that's what you want and so I just like and so the minute my dad starts it I'm just like I'm giving you my old one wait I get the new one you get the old one like I line it up I know he's doing it but it does it it gets to you inside because you see it happening but you have to remember most people do it subconsciously they're not aware they're manipulating you and they're doing it my personal worst is where someone says they don't do it and they are doing it that annoys me more than anything and then when they get up on their high horse you manipulate I would never manipulate isn't that right everybody see how everyone agrees with me speaking loudly and building social proof and pre-selection everyone agrees with me that you manipulate and that's wrong and I'm like you're manipulating right now like I can see it like I'm aware of what you're doing you think you're not doing it which is even funnier they're the situations that drive me insane the most but again I have to keep myself in check if I argued back like that everyone would think I was insane so instead you have to you have to buy it and keep going so cool good question last question this guy and then I know you I'll talk to you afterwards this guy my friend's coming hi my name is Max Max yes and I was wondering what you do when how do you handle people who are qualifying you or manipulating you good question most of the time okay very good question I make a decision before I go into a situation what I want the outcome to be and then I try and make sure that that is where I lead things unless I've made a decision that I don't want to control it at which point I go into it and I'm going to allow the other person to manipulate but I got a situation one of my friends he's hanging out with this chick and she's like he comes up to me and he goes do you think it's wrong of me if I manipulate my girl to work in Dallas because she'll make more money that this guy lives in Austin he's really comfortable in Austin he's really happy he doesn't like change and he's asking me if I think it's okay for him to manipulate his girl to work in Dallas and I'm thinking none of that sounds right he doesn't like Dallas why is he so I'm like did she tell you she'll make more money if she works in Dallas he's like yeah and I was thinking I should get her to work there to make more money I was like she told you that she really likes Dallas and she's got friends there he goes yeah well well that's part of the charm she's got friends there so I think I can make her do it I'm like I don't know how to break it she did I was like you're being manipulated and he's like really? like yeah she's trying to make you think this is your idea dude like even to the point that she's making you think you're manipulating her you're the victim in this and he's like yeah cause I don't like Dallas I'm like I know you don't like Dallas I was like you're being manipulated that's what she wants that's not what you want I was like he's like I didn't think about it like that but you know that's what happens in relationship especially girls girls tend to be a lot stronger and better at doing it than guys so I just try and keep aware constantly and I let it happen like I know when my other day I'm written a last night and I told a man cause my talk's all about manipulation and qualification and I was like she's like so you're aware of it all the time like yeah I was like I'm really aware of it when you do it to me and I was like I don't manipulate you I was like you did it just there and she's like okay she goes the next time I manipulate you tell me when within about 45 seconds she tried again and I just I didn't say that I just looked at her and she went I just did it didn't I I was like yeah cause I did that because I wanted this yeah and she went I do it a lot I'm like yeah but I let it cause she's my wife I'm like you can manipulate me but I need to be aware of it as long as I'm aware it's okay I let people manipulate me all the time because I'm aware of it and that's that thing about playing ahead because by me letting people manipulate me they don't realize when it hits and then at that point at the point that I want to manipulate I'm that much further ahead of the game or at least I try to be and that's really kind of like how you want to play that for me so these are the these are the discs there's actually there's only three here there's two parts okay so we're going to get the other half afterwards so what I'm going to do dude in the green you got a great one do you want to come up and just grab this that's for you get the second half in a second and one of these is for you and then the last one is going to be for the guy with the sexy voice for you so awesome dude thank you very much guys run for us for these guys thank you your pleasure being here you're awesome love you all thank you