 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Palm olive shave creams for a smoother more comfortable way to shave bring you our miss Brooks transcribed and starring Eve Arden Time once again for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks under the direction of Al Lewis Well like most school teachers our miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High School has been exposed to her share of puppy love I'll say I have it's getting so I can't look a puppy in the face without flinching But the kids at school are nothing compared to the case I discovered at home between my landlady Mrs. Davis and Horace Barlow the school's new Janet a basement custodian Although she met him a week ago at a school tee up until Thursday morning at breakfast She kept denying anything but a passing interest in him Please Connie just because Horace Barlow has been over a few times is no reason for people to jump to conclusion My goodness Horace isn't jumping to conclusion At his age Horace is lucky if he can limp to conclusion But I've seen you two together Mrs. Davis as far as I'm concerned I think of Horace as just a real nice boy and he is too a real nice 68-year-old boy He happens to be 54 Connie. He told me so himself. I know Mrs. Davis and Jack Benny is 39 Not that I'm criticizing your friendship far from it. I'm delighted that Horace is so genuinely fond of you Oh, honey Horace doesn't even know I'm alive. Well, don't let that worry you It's hard to tell about him most of the time Anyway, I'm simply not interested in anything for the most casual relationship Heavens if I were thinking seriously, I tried to find out something about the man. Wouldn't I haven't you definitely not I'm not even mildly curious. I haven't the slightest idea where he keeps his $10,000 life insurance policy And I have no knowledge whatsoever of how he got his leg wounded in the Mexican war But which he gets a fifty-three dollar a month pension I don't even know in what bank he keeps his twenty six hundred and nineteen dollar savings account Shame on you. You haven't even got his social security number. It's four nine eight two six five That's Walter Den. He's driving me to school. Be right there, Walter Now is there anything you want me to say to mr. Barlow for you if I happen to see him at school? Not a thing Connie. Okay, there's no necessity of even mentioning to him that I'm not busy tonight I see and there's no need for any remarks about the cake. I'm baking today being too big for one person to finish alone I'll be as silent as the tomb and above all it would be utterly shameless If you were to hear that I don't want to waste the box of cigars. I bought yesterday You can trust me implicitly mrs. Davis. I won't say a word to mr. Barlow. I'll just hit him on the head and drag him home I'm glad you picked me up early this morning, Walter I've got an errand to do for mrs. Davis before my first class. I'll get you there with the speed of a gazelle, miss Brooks By the way, how's mrs. Davis's romance with mr. Barlow coming along? Oh, have you noticed that too? I think it's the cutest thing in the world mrs. Davis actually has a bad case of puppy love. It is cute Considering she's in her second puppy hood No disrespect intended you understand after all what could be more romantic than two lonely old people Encountering the grand passion in the seer and yellow leaf of life Oh, that's absolutely poetic Walter the burning desires of youth long past They look now for the subdued glow of companionship The warm and simple pleasures the two elderly people in love Can share together I? Can see them now soaking their feet in the same pan of epsom salt I bet you'd like to find romance at that age miss Brooks at the rate. I'm going now. I'm counting on it But Walter I just assume you don't mention the subject at school It might be a source of embarrassment to mr. Barlow my trap is sealed miss Brooks Now what's the year and you're gonna do for mrs. Davis this morning? Well off the record I'm going to invite mr. Barlow over to the house tonight. He's been a little backward about asking for a date I get it your mrs. Davis is John Alden Now all you got to do is get mr. Barlow to invite mr. Boynton over for you and you're all set Greetings adjourn Today aren't you hello Harriet? I've got to deliver a message to the custodian. Have you seen him? Oh, yes, mr. Barlow just went into his office Isn't it wonderful miss Brooks? I don't know. I've never been in his office I mean about mr. Barlow and mrs. Davis they're crazy about each other of course It's a big secret couldn't be a bigger secret if they took out an ad Is there anything more romantic than the mellow romance of old age now Please Harriet to think of two people finding love at a time of life when others are preparing to pass on Two people walking hand-in-hand in the twilight of life. Yes. There's nothing like a brisk walk before passing on Far be it for me to delay mrs. Davis's emissary of love. Good luck in your mission John Alden Thank you, Priscilla I hope I'm not disturbing you mr. Barlow, but there's something I wanted to ask you Well, then go ahead and ask If you want to get apples you got to shake the tree Now what is it? It's just this I was wondering if tonight that is if you haven't any other plans Mrs. Davis isn't doing anything, and I'm sure she'd be pleased if you wanted to drop over. Well, that's right neighborly Would you like me to drop over? Of course, I'm sure you and mrs. Davis will have a lovely evening together Are you planning on staying in mishbrook? I suppose so mr. Barlow, but I'm sure that at your age You don't need any chaperone. You're right about that. Maybe we could send mrs. Davis to a movie Davis to a movie sure Oh There's no sense in my trying to hide it any longer Why the only reason I've been coming around mrs. Davis's places to be near you near me But you you've been making dates with mrs. Davis. Well naturally You've got to slip the drones a little honey if you want to get next to the queen bee You mr. Barlow are barking up the wrong hive This is ridiculous. I I simply can't believe it's even happening. I couldn't believe it myself I just couldn't understand the feeling that swept over me when I first saw you miss Brooks In fact since that time. I've had my glasses changed twice But it's still the same I keep asking myself where have you been all my life? Three-quarters of it. I wasn't even born Look mr. Barlow, there's a there's a great difference in our ages nonsense miss Brooks I just don't believe in age. Well, neither do I I've been standing it off for years I mean if you'll think this over for a while you realize that it just couldn't work out. Why not? Is there somebody else playing the piano in your front parlor? But mr. Boynton plays the ukulele on my back porch We've been going together for quite a while now. You mean that biology fella. Oh shucks He's just an unsophisticated kid why you couldn't warm him up if you're stuck a bunch and burner under him You've been peeking Mr. Boynton's just shy about expressing his feelings ain't got no feelings if you ask me Least wise not like I have especially since I met you Well, I just knew today was gonna bring some excitement into my life I got the strangest sensation right after breakfast. Maybe something fell into your groove There's no two ways about it sis. I'm smitten Well, would it unsmit you if I told you that I was engaged to mr. Boynton engaged Well, but he wasn't even over to your place the nights I visited mr. Davis He must have been working if you come over tonight. I'm sure he'll be there Well seeing is believing and I'll drop by miss Brooks But I still say when it comes to your bringing me messages for mrs. Davis Speak for yourself John Alden. There's no use talking these man-tailored suits. I've got to go What a toothpaste Colgate dental cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth and the Colgate way stops tooth decay best Yes, the Colgate way is the most thoroughly proved and accepted home method of oral hygiene known today Over two years research showed brushing teeth right after eating with Colgate dental cream Helps stop more decay for more people than ever before reported in dentiferous history The Colgate way stop tooth decay best. No other dentiferous Ammoniated or not offer such conclusive proof and you should know that Colgate's while not mentioned by name Was the only toothpaste used in the research on tooth decay recently reported in Reader's Digest So always follow the Colgate way to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and stop tooth decay best Brush your teeth with Colgate Colgate dental cream it cleans your breath. What a toothpaste And the Colgate way stops tooth decay best Well, I was quite chagrined to find out that Horace Barlow was more interested in me than he was in Mrs. Davis This was one triangle. I was determined would not be eternal not even overnight Therefore at lunchtime I headed for mr. Boynton's table in the cafeteria, but just as I got halfway to it Oh, mr. Conklin, I'm terribly sorry, sir You're slipping miss broke You only knocked two dishes off my lunch tray today. I guess I didn't watch where I was going Obviously When you do you get the whole tray? Luckily nothing happened to your apple pie. The plate is broken, but the pie is intact here. Thank you Even more luckily nothing seems to have gotten on my clothes. No, sir I've never seen you look so neat quite carnation and all I spoke too soon. That's vanilla ice cream Never would have happened sir, but I'm terribly preoccupied today This must be preoccupied day at Madison High I've had nothing but trouble with our new school custodian for the same reason you mean mr. Barlow Yes, yes, he forgets about the furnace. He forgets to fix the pipes the old goat act as if he was in love Maybe he is in love mr. Barlow, but who could a 70-year-old Kaja be in love with? He happens to be 54 Yes, and Jack Benny is 39 Horace Barlow in love At his age he probably can't tell the difference between a woman and a kangaroo I Probably not Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll be hopping off to lunch No doubt. I'll run into you later in the day mr. Conklin It is with that thought in mind that I carry every possible form of accident and hospitalization Good day, mr. Conklin He's got a lot of nerve Just because a person's lived a few more years than some other person I don't like to interrupt miss Brooks, but if you keep talking to yourself, you'll make an eavesdropper out of me I'm sorry, Walter. I've had a little shock this morning You see I spoke to Horace Barlow a short time ago about making a date with mrs. Davis. What do you say? He says he's not interested in mrs. Davis. He's smitten with somebody else somebody else But he can't do that to mrs. Davis Oh, she's a very sensitive little lady and she's nuts about him. She'll be terribly hurt That's what I'm afraid of he doesn't know when he's well off. I'd like to see the hunk of crow bait He's falling for a minute. Walter. It so happens that mr. Barlow thinks he's in love with me with you But that's illegal It's unthinkable. It's a let's just call it unusual Actually, Walter, I'm extremely worried about the situation Mrs. Davis and I have been friends for too long to let a thing like this come between us Well, why don't you just tell old Barlow to go pedal his papers? I did practically I even told him I was engaged to mr. Boynton. That's what I'm worried about. They're both coming over tonight, and I've got to prove it Oh, it's so tough about that. I'm sure mr. Boynton will cooperate. You are sure for one night Oh Now the next thing you got to do is get mrs. Davis out of the house tonight Because if she caught you and mr. Boynton acting as if you were engaged she'd know something was rotten in Denmark What a sweet way to put it But Walter, how do I get mrs. Davis out of the house? Well easy there's an old bachelor friend of my dad staying at the house for a couple of days Mr. Gordon, I'm sure he'd like a date with a nice clean-cut character like mrs. Davis And I'll ask her to go out with him as a favorite of my folks. What about mr. Barlow? She expects him tonight. Well, just tell her he couldn't make it say his blood pressure hit a new high or something Now you go find mr. Boynton, and I'll call home and make sure mr. Gordon's available to act as Davis bait for the evening See you later, mr. Brick. All right, Walter and thanks Me and the night and the music Oh, mr. Boynton, I've got to talk to you right away. What's wrong with Brooks? It's about mrs. Davis You know, she's got a crush on the school custodian mr. Barlow, but unfortunately he's head over heels in love with somebody else Please mr. Don't don't make me laugh while I'm drinking coffee mr. Barlow is an old man. What kind of a shriveled up prune could he fall for? Why does it have to be a prune? For all you know mr. Barlow could be crazy about a nice young firm fuzzy peach Besides he's only 48 He's 70 at least And not what you'd call in prime condition why his hyperthyroidism was apparent and his incipient arteriosclerosis Masking cardiac decompensation was evident to me after one glance. It's a good thing. You didn't take a second glance. He'd be a goner The truth is mr. Boynton that mr. Barlow has been coming to our place just so he could be near me I'd known you were gonna get so excited. I'd have worn my raincoat Here use this napkin I'm sorry, mr. Brooks, but I I couldn't help exploding. Do you mean to tell me mr. Barlow is in love with you? That's right. We hyperthyroids have to stick together Look mr. Boynton, I know it's an absurd situation, but my only real concern is mrs. Davis I've got to discourage mr. Barlow once and for all and you've got to help me me What can I do well? He's coming over to our place tonight. I invited him this morning on behalf of mrs. Davis That's when he told me how he felt about me and that's when I told him something utterly fantastic What did you tell him that you and I were engaged to be married? Here's the napkin Gauge to be married, but miss Brooks that's utterly fantastic. I'm glad I said it first Don't you see mr. Boynton? This is very important to someone who's very important to me mrs. Davis is just about the best friend I've got well if that's the case mr. Brooks I guess the least I can do is cooperate. Will you really mr. Boynton sure for one night? Oh Oh Boy, I'm full. It was a very fine dinner miss Brooks. I'm glad you liked it mr. Boynton. I opened it all by myself I hope mr. Gordon took mrs. Davis to a nice place for dinner. He appears to be a jolly old fellow, doesn't he? Yes, indeed and I noticed he gave you a pretty thorough oneself when he was introduced You seem to pack quite a wallop for these elderly Joes That's me the Cleopatra of the cardiac case But I get it clear away these dishes mr. Barlow will be over any minute Oh, if that's the case shouldn't we be getting into the mood the mood? Well, yes, we're supposed to be engaged aren't we? Oh that mood Mr. Boynton I can hardly believe my ears Why there's no sense making a chore out of this thing We might as well have some fun doing it Fun doing it certainly now now let's get started get started the quicker the better quicker the better of course come on I mean come on Sure you wash and I'll dry So much for the hopes of Connie Brooks girl dreamer Look mr. Boynton working in the kitchen is the way married people would get into the mood Engaged couples do their work in the parlor with soft light Okay, we'll take a big basin of water and do the dishes in the park Sometimes I wish you were ugly Come on mr. Boynton. I'll attend to the dishes later. Let's sit down in the living room, huh? All right, mr. Brooks it it isn't too healthy to commence working right after a meal anyway That must be mr. Barlow just make yourself comfortable. I'll let him in Well, here I am Brooksy, but it's a fiddle and twice as musical come in mr. Barlow. I Fixed a little dinner for my fiancee this evening. We've just finished eating it follow me. Won't you your fiancee? Then you mean you actually hello darling. Did you miss me miss you? I hated to leave you alone for so many seconds, but I just had to let mr. Barlow in you remember mr. Barlow Don't you dear? Oh, of course. How are you mr. Barlow snappy's a cookie and twice as full of ginger Let's get to the point Miss Brooks here told me that you two are engaged is that true? Well, yes Yes, it is and how come nobody around schools heard anything about it because we wanted it that way We've been secretly engaged for over six months now. Haven't we darling? We certainly have miss Brooks Miss Brooks Why does he call you miss Brooks if you're gonna be married? He doesn't like any display of affection in front of company. Let's sit down. Shall we mr. Barlow draw up a chair Won't you and sweetheart you draw up a chair and will sit down We but miss Brooks I worked out with the basketball team yesterday and my knees are a little weak It may be a foul, but I'll never get a shot like this again Sit down dear there we are comfy. Yeah Seems mighty strange to me most engaged folks I've seen act a little more Demonstrative than you do but we're mad for each other. Aren't we darling? Yeah mad You know dearest you you haven't kissed me in five minutes. What I Said you haven't kissed me in five minutes. What are we going to do about that? Let's wait another five, huh? What's the matter darling? You want to kiss me, don't you? Maybe it's me miss Brooks. No, I'm positive. He doesn't want to kiss you You mean he doesn't want to kiss me in your presence I'm sure that wouldn't stop my great big handsome lover boy. Would it dearest? certainly not Give me your cheek There Wow Now how about one to get me down off the ceiling Maybe I ought to go but why mr. Barlow you just got here. I know but won't I be interrupting something only if you go? I mean stick around a little while longer. I'll see who it is. Don't move either of you Sorry, I had to disturb you Connie, but I forgot my key again. Mrs. Davis. What are you doing home so early here? Let me help you off with your coat and eyeglasses Mr. Gordon showed me the most wonderful time Connie, but he has a business appointment first thing in the morning So we have to cut our date a bit short. Oh Who's that in the living room? That's mr. Boynton And who's the man in the other chair that's mr. Boynton too. He's awfully restless tonight. Oh Now I see who that is it's mr. Barlow, but you told me he wasn't coming over tonight He must have changed his mind Listen, Mrs. Davis when two people have a beautiful friendship They've got to do everything in their power to keep it from breaking up, right? Oh, let's talk later, dear I've got to get these shoes off at once mr. Gordon. Just dance my tootsies into a stupor He's a wonderful man Connie That's why I want you to do me a little favor favor. Yes when you go back into the living room What do you want me to do Mrs. Davis brush off that other old creep for me? Will you? Mr. Barlow, yes, I haven't the heart to hurt these feelings well It'll save a lot of explanations, I guess but I know I'm gonna get two birds with one stone What do you mean Connie as soon as the old duck is gone my little love bird will take off like a wounded pelican Just a moment, but first the case of the close scrape featuring John W. Baker justice of the peas Here's what mr. Baker told us listen. Here's exactly what happened Shaving was just one close scrape after another for me And then I discovered palm olive lather shave cream and a new different way to shave Palm olives oceans of rich thick lather ended my worries about scrapes burns and nicks Why even in cold or hard water that palm olive lather way is super smooth Super comfortable take John W. Baker's advice men the new palm olive lather way gets beards really soft And it provides a protective film that actually floats your razor's cutting edge You get a clean close shave every time without worry about scraping or nicking even in cold or hard water John W. Baker and 1200 other men tested palm olive lather cream Following package directions and three out of four reported smoother more comfortable shaves the palm olive shave cream way No matter how they shave before better get palm olive lather shave cream Remember even in cold or hard water the palm olive lather way means smoother more comfortable shave And now once again here is our miss Brooks Well, I told mr. Barlow that mrs. Davis had returned home with a bad headache And he left the house after threatening to call her up very soon Then as I was about to barricade the door against mr. Boynton's next move. He addressed me I'm sorry. Mrs. Davis doesn't feel well miss Brooks. Is she lying down in her room? Yes. She is mr. Boynton That leaves just the two of us doesn't it? Yes, but don't be nervous It's much too early for you to think of leaving. Oh, I'm not thinking of leaving this Brooks You and I still have plenty of unfinished business to attend to unfinished business Certainly you and I That's right After all somebody's got to do those dinner dishes. Suppose you wash and I'll dry Better yet you wash and dry. I've got another engagement or another engagement sure if I hurry I can catch mr. Barlow before he gets on the bus Mr. Burn Smith reminding you to tune in next week to another our miss Brooks show brought to you by Pomali shave creams for a smoother more comfortable way to shave and Cold-gate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay Our miss Brooks starring Eve Arden is produced by Larry Burns written by Al Lewis with the music of Wilbur Hatch Ladies now with new improved vell VEL you can save 90% of dish washing work Just soak dishes and vell suds a while dishes and glassware will soak sparkling clean no washing no wiping no scouring with vell Only the stickiest dishes need just the touch of a cloth rinse and they'll gleam without wiping so pots and pans and vell suds To and most of them will get shiny clean without scouring What's more vell is extra mile to hands. So get new vell save 90% of dish washing work If you like mysteries that are as full of chuckles as chills be sure to hear mr. And mrs. North every Tuesday over this same network Don't miss the exciting and laughable adventures of these amateur detectives and be with us again next week at this Same time for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks Bob Lamont speaking this program was transcribed Stay tuned now for Jack Benny This is CBS where our miss Brooks holds her classes every Sunday the Columbia broadcasting system