 Lux presents Hollywood. The River Brothers Company, the makers of Lux toilet soap, bring you the Lux Radio Theater, starring Humphrey Bogart and Greer Garson in The African Queen. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Irving Cummings. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. When the Academy Award for Best Performance by an Actor was presented last March, a star who had built his reputation with great performances of gangster parts was among those nominated. And Humphrey Bogart won that award with great acclaim in the unusual role of the intemperate skipper of the African Queen. And as his co-star of this John Houston production, we have beautiful Greer Garson, another Academy Award winner. Tonight, Miss Garson will vary her popular role of the charming wife to play a straight-laced spinster. Naturally, Hollywood stars like to change the roles they play, but when it comes to complexion care, there's just one favorite, Lux toilet soap. Our most glamorous stars know they can count on daily Lux facials for the finest in complexion care, care that really leaves skin smoother and fresher. So try Hollywood's own beauty care, Lux toilet soap. Now, the African Queen, starring Greer Garson as Rose and Humphrey Bogart as Charlie Allnut. 1914, German East Africa, where Rose Sayer and her brother Samuel spread gospel of God. For more than a year, the missionaries have seen only one white man, Mr. Allnut, pilot of the African Queen, a filthy, dilapidated launch that casts her way up and down the river. I do have some more tea, Mr. Allnut. Thanks, Miss. I don't mind if I do. I just listen to this stomach of mine. I mean, the way it keeps growling and squealing, the way it sounds, you think I had a hyena inside of me. You do take sugar. Queer thing, eh? Now, what do you suppose makes a man's stomach carry on like this? You're planning to stay overnight, Mr. Allnut? Oh, no, Miss. I got to get up river and back to the mine. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I probably won't be coming around this way for a couple of months. But, uh, what about our mail? Don't look like there's going to be any mail for a while on account of the war. War? What war? Where? Europe, Miss. Germany and England. England? You really mean war? Yeah, that's what they tell me, Reverend. But what do you know about it? What's happened? Well, now, let's see. Oh, yes, French are in it, too, and all them, uh, all them little countries, Austria, Hungary, Belgium. I forget who's with who, though. Oh, brother. Yes, Rose. I know. This is Germany. East Africa. We are enemy aliens. Now, what harm could anybody do the Germans in this God-forsaken place? God has not forsaken this place, Mr. Allnut, as my brother's presence here will bear witness. Oh, no offense, Miss. Well, I'll be getting aboard the Queen and shoving off. Uh, thanks for the tea, Miss. Goodbye, Mr. Allnut. Goodbye, and thank you. Oh, that wretched little man with his foul cigar. He's in difference about the war. He's Canadian. Doesn't he realize he's in this, too? Shouldn't we try to get to Limbasi? I mean, while we can. The shepherd does not forsake his flock when the wolves are prowling. We shall stay here, Rose. Yes, brother. Yes, of course. Come, dear. Come. We shall pray. It's me, Miss. I come back a lot sooner than I said. Oh. Now, the Germans have been here, too, eh? Yes. They've... they've been here, Mr. Allnut. When I got to the mines at Limbasi, everything was a shamble, deserted, burnt to the ground just like the village here. Uh, reverend around, Miss? My brother is dead. Oh. Oh, well, now? Now ain't that awful. If them Germans had shoot a reverend, there ain't nobody safe. They were here three days ago. They didn't shoot him. They... they struck him, and his heart was... was bad. Oh, well, that's... that's certainly too bad, Miss. That's all I can say. I'll tell you what, Miss. You get your things together. We'll get aboard the Queen and clear out. Them Germans are sure to come back. But why? Why should they come back here? Why, they'll be looking for the boat, Miss, for the African Queen. She's not much, but they'd give a lot to get their hands on her. You bet. But what's aboard her, too? Plastin' gelatin, tin grub, cylinders of oxygen and hydrogen. Heaps of things I was bringing to the mines. But where could we go? I out there on the river, Miss. Get behind an island where it's quiet and safe. We can talk about what to do then. I'll get ready. That's the ticket, Miss. You bet. You come with me. So far, so good. Here we are, safe and sound, as you might say. A nice shady spot and a nice lonesome spot. The question is, what next? Quite, Mr. Allnut. We got heaps of grub aboard, 2,000 cigarettes and two cases of gin. Gin? Why, we could sit out the war here if we wanted to. All the comforts are home, Miss, including running water. Mr. Allnut. We simply cannot remain off a backwater island until the war is over. Can't we now, Miss? Well, you've got the map there. Show me your way out and I'll take it. The British will certainly launch an attack. Now, the only question is, which way will they come? From the sea, maybe. Up the railway to Limbarsee. That'll put all them Germans between them and us. Might not our troops come up from the Congo? Miss, Miss, look. You see this lake on the map? That's 100 miles of lake and there ain't nothing going to cross it while the Louise is there. The Louise? She's a 100-ton steamer, Miss, and German. She bosses the lake because she's got six pounders. The biggest guns in Central Africa. Oh. We're in a bit of a fix, Miss, whichever way you look at it. This river runs into that lake, does it not? Yes, Miss. Yes, it does. But if you've got any ideas of getting there in this launch, you better get rid of them. Why? Well, you look at the map, Miss. This here is shown. The Germans have afforded shown it. They blow us right out of the water, and before that, there's a rapid. 20 miles of water, just like it was coming out of a fire hose. But it has been done. Yes, Miss, in a canoe, a fellow named Spangler, he almost... Mr. Allnut, what did you say was in those wooden boxes? Them? I was blasted, gentlemen, Miss. Is it dangerous? I'd bless you to know. That safety stuff takes a detonator to set it off. And what are those long torpedo-like things? More stuff for the mine. Them's oxygen and hydrogen cylinders, Miss. Mr. Allnut, you're a machinist, aren't you? Kind of a fixer, Miss. Jack of all trades, like they say. Could you make a torpedo? How's that, Miss? Could you make a torpedo? A torpedo? Ask me to make a dreadnought and do it upright, Miss. A torpedo? You really don't know what you're asking. Why, there just ain't nothing so complicated as the inside of a torpedo. The gyroscopes and compressed air chambers... No, but they don't need to make it go, aren't they? Well, we've got the African Queen. How's that, Miss? And if we were to fill those cylinders with that blasting gelatine, and then fix them so that they'd stick out over the end of this boat, and then if we were to run this boat against the side of a ship, well, will it go off just like a torpedo would, wouldn't they? Yeah. Yeah, that's right, Miss. Well, then we could point the launch towards a ship, and just before she hit, we could dive off, couldn't we? Sure. Sure, Miss. Absolutely only there ain't nothing to torpedo. Oh, but there is. Is what? The Louisa. The Louisa? Oh, now, don't talk silly, Miss. You can't do that. Honest, you can't. I told you before we can't get down the river. Spengler did. In a canoe. If a German did it, we can do it. Now, not in no launch we can. Well, how do you know? You've never tried. Well, I never tried shooting myself in the head, neither. In other words, in other words, Mr. Allnut, you're refusing to help your country in her hour of need. Oh, I wouldn't put it that way. Just how would you put it? All right, Miss. Have it your own way. But don't blame me for what happened. Very well, then. Let's get started. Well, you mean now? Now. But there ain't two hours a daylight left, Miss. We can go a long way in two hours, Mr. Allnut. But the boiler, the fire's gone out practically. We can't move till we get the old kettle boiling again. Well, you're well stocked with firewood. Do so. Oh, refusing to help your country in her hour of need. Could you make a torpedo, Mr. Allnut? Well, do so, Mr. Allnut. Did you say something, Mr. Allnut? Main miss, I didn't say nothing, Miss. Anything wrong, Mr. Allnut? There's just this old boiler, Miss. She's leaking steam. See? Ooh! Uh, why are you kicking the boiler, Mr. Allnut? Feet pumped full of rust and scum. She gets clogged up. And that's all you have to do? Just kick it? It's known how to kick her, Miss. She gets peevish now and then, ever since I dropped a screwdriver down the safety valve. What would happen if you didn't kick it? A whole boiler'd blow up. Then why don't you dismantle the safety valve and remove the screwdriver? You know, I'm going to do that one of these days. The only reason I haven't up to now is that I kind of like kicking her. She's all I've got. Well, she seems to be operating quite normally now. Yeah, like I said, Miss, all she needs is a good boot. Well, you're ready to call it a day? That's kind of like a lagoon up ahead. It's a real nice place when the bugs ain't too bad. I shan't complain, Mr. Allnut. We have much to be thankful for. That's a fact, Miss. It's like they say, it ain't never so bad that it can't be worse. Anyone has seen us. There ain't nobody in these parts, Miss, forgetting the beasts of the forest. Kind of hot, ain't it? I could do with a drink. The cup here, Miss, if you're going to have one. Oh, no, thank you. What is it? Gin, Miss. Gin. Something wrong? No. Well, if you're worried about there not being enough, why, there's two full cases aboard. Oh, no, no, please. Well, maybe you'd like a nice cup of tea. Well, thank you. You get real service on the African Queen. Hey, see this? Hot water all the time. Out of the boiler? It'll taste a little rusty, but then we can't have everything, can we? Hey, Miss, just add the tea to suit your taste like they say on the box. Thank you. Don't mention it. Well, you just sit and relax, and after a bit I'll start thinking about supper. How long have you been out here, Miss? In Africa? Oh, almost 10 years. You ever get homesick? Well, I'm afraid I have been homesick many times. It's Sunday afternoons that I think of most. The peace and the quiet of home. On Sunday afternoons I was always sleeping one off. Sleeping one? What brought you to Africa, Mr. Allant? The Zambezi Bridge, Miss. A whole boatload of us canucks came over to work on it. Don't know yet what they wanted a bridge for, but then why did the chicken cross the road? I beg your pardon? Nothing, Miss. Yeah, sometimes I wish I was back, but then I remember how I'd have to be taken orders from somebody while out here. Well, I'm my own boss. Well, think it, Miss. I'll go fix us some grub. Now, what do you think you're doing, Miss? Well, if I may draw some hot water from the boiler, I'll wash these dishes. Mostly. I just hold them over the side and let the current do the washing. If you will forgive me, that's about what I imagined. Plentyness is next to godliness, eh, Miss? Is that so amusing, Mr. Allant? No, Miss. You don't see no crocodiles around, do you? Crocodiles? No. No, it's too shallow for them. Well, I could do the bath before I turn in. I'd like a bath myself. Well, you do the dishes back here and I'll go off the bow. So long as we look, so long as we don't look, it don't matter. Well, how about it, Miss? Well, very well, Mr. Allant. That's the ticket. Just a minute, just a slosh or two. Well, I'll give you a hand then. Oh, I've been trying to climb up, but I can't. I'm afraid I do need help. Is that blanket still there? Yes, Miss. Well, if you will, please hold it up in front of you and close your eyes. Well, I just got two hands, Miss, and if I hold up the blanket... Then just close your eyes. I got them closed, Miss. Now here, you grab my arms. Oh, thank you. But don't you dare move until I say so. Oh, no, Miss. I bathed in my undergarments. You'll have to wait until I... Oh, it's all right, Miss. It's all right. You just say when. You feel better, Miss? Oh, yes. Yes, I do. Well, you better sleep here under the awning, Miss, in case it rains. And here's a couple of rugs. There ain't no fleas on them. Where will you sleep, Mr. Allant? I know it, Miss. And if I make you feel better, you can hang up one of them tarpaulins like a kind of a curtain sort of. Thank you. Good night. I'll turn out the lantern if you're ready, Miss. I'm quite ready. Good night, Mr. Allant. Good night, Miss. I'm sorry. I woke you, Miss. What are you doing? I ain't doing nothing, Miss. Just getting out of the wet. Well, go away this instant. Yes, Miss. And if you wish. Thank you, Miss. Miss? Yes. I'm sorry I gave you such a turn. Oh, that's quite all right. I didn't realize that you were just... how hard it was raining. I won't get any, Miss. There's heaps of room. Good night, Mr. Allant. Good night, Miss. With act two of the African Queen, here's Frances Scully, popular Hollywood commentator. Wasn't it a pleasure, Ken, to have you as a cameraman on your program last week? Oh, yes, indeed, Frances. She's a remarkable woman. No wonder Metro Goldwood Mayor filmed her life story and called it Million Dollar Mermaid. Well, the film looks like a million dollars in gorgeous technicolor with stars like Esther Williams, Walter Pigeon, Victor Moutour, and David Brine. Esther Williams certainly does some sensational routines in those beautiful water bellies. Oh, and she looks so glamorous, particularly in the famous one-piece bathing suit that shocked Boston in the 1920s. That was an exceptionally good love story, too, Frances, with both Victor Moutour and David Brine in love with Esther Williams, as she becomes the toast of two continents. Yes, and Annette Kellerman, Esther Williams, plays an exciting role, filled with glamour and romance in Million Dollar Mermaid. Well, I can't imagine a mermaid more beautiful than Esther Williams. In technicolor, her complexion looks like a million dollars. And yet, Ken, Esther Williams' complexion care is one that every girl can use. It's lux toilet soap. Like nine out of ten famous Hollywood stars, Esther is devoted to lux soap care. And when all these famous beauties agree on one complexion soap, you know it must do something wonderful for skin. Must really smooth and fresh in your complexion. And that's just what daily lux care does. Its skin tonic action helps your skin retain natural moisture. Even dry skin looks fresher, more appealing. And lux facials take only a minute. You just cream in the rich lux lather, rinse warm, splash cold. And there, your complexion sparkles. Yes, girls, lux care is simple, but so effective that Lever by this company guarantees it will improve any normal skin. So try these daily lux soap facials. See how quickly your skin looks lovelier. Really lux-lovely. Now here's our producer, Mr. Cummings. Act two of the African Queen starring Humphrey Bogart as Mr. Allnut and Greer Gosson as Rose. It's the following morning and the African Queen wheezes her way down the river. Mr. Allnut is at the rusty engine, administering with tools and frequent kicks of his experienced foot. And now, suddenly, what he is dreading is upon them, a sluggish river has turned into whirlpools and rapid. How'd you like it? Like it? White water, rapid. Oh, I never dreamed that it... I don't blame you for being scared, Miss. Ain't nobody in his right mind ain't scared of white water. I was about to say that I never dreamed that any mere physical experience could be so stimulating. Huh? How's that, Miss? I've seldom known such excitement a few times in my dear brother's sermons when the spirit was really upon him. I felt so... Well, you mean you want to go on? Well, of course I do. Miss, you're crazy. Oh, I must say, I'm filled with admiration for your skill, Mr. Allnut. Do you suppose that after I practice steering a bit more that someday I might try? Miss, let me tell you something. Those wrappers back there ain't nothing to watch in front of it. Oh, I can hardly wait. But, Miss... Oh, I know that I've had a taste of it. I don't wonder that you love boating, Mr. Allnut. Boating? Excuse me, Miss. I need a drink. Something's a matter, please. I must know. It's nothing you'd understand. You're... You're drinking gin again, Mr. Allnut. Yes, Miss, I sure am. It's been such a pleasant day up until now. What is it that's driving you to drink, Mr. Allnut? All right. I'll tell you. It's all your foolish talk about us going on into the lake, all this crazy talk about the Louisa. But we ain't gonna go. Well, of course we are. What an absurd idea. What an absurd idea? What an absurd idea? Why don't you want to go on? Because of the river and the rapids and then Shona. Shona? Oh, yes, yes. Wherever Germans have a fort. Yeah, you're doing right, Shona. Just one bullet and that blasting gelatine missin' would be a little bit so piecy. There we'll go by the fort at night. Oh, no, we won't. There we'll go by day. We can go on the far side of the river speeding along just as fast as ever. We ain't gonna go speeding along any place. You agreed to go. I never did. I never agreed to anything. Mr. Allnut, you are a liar. And what is worse than that? A coward. Boo! Coward yourself. You ain't no lady, no miss. That's what my poor old mother would say to you. My poor old mother would say to you. Whose fault is this anyway? I asked John because I was sorry for you. That's what you get for feeling sorry for people. Well, I ain't sorry for you anymore. You're a crazy psalm-singin' dried-up old maid. Mr. Allnut, you are drunk. Well, not half what I'm gonna be, either. There was the old fisherman set sail for Port Pemlico to catch the old piggy at the game. Mr. Allnut, you are still intoxicated. Oh, the gin. That's gin you're pouring into the river. Indeed it is. Oh, you don't know what you're doing, miss. I'll perish without a hair of the dog. Look at you, reeling about helplessly. Oh, my head. Oh, my head. I'm warning you, miss. That gin ain't your property. It's no one's property now. Twenty-one empty bottles floating on the waves. And I'm glad. Oh, criminal, that's what you are. I'll die. Then what'll you do? I'll suffer and die, and I'll float on the wave. And it's all you're doing, you hear? You did it all. I look different, huh? Yeah, I shaved. Ooh, I see you're reading your Bible. Ah, it's a good thing to have a lady aboard, miss. That's a man a good example, a man alone. Well, he gets to livin' like a hog. And two with me, it's always put things off. But with you, miss, it's business before pleasure every time. I tell you, it's like an inspiration. And that old engine, I ain't got that old engine so clean in years, just look at her, miss. Ah, you don't care. I only had some clean clothes like you. Why, you could be at high tea. Say, that's an idea, miss. How about a nice little cup of tea? Uh, how's the book? How about reading it out loud? I could do with a little spiritual comfort myself. And you call yourself a Christian. Don't you? Don't you? Huh? You're behaving like an infant. And how are you behaving? You're, you're just plain mean. Man takes a drop too much once in a while. It's only human nature. Nature, Mr. Allnut. It's what we're put into this world to rise above. I'm sorry I apologize for getting so drunk. What more can a man do? Besides, you paid me back. Didn't even leave me a drop. I have a heart, miss. Say something. I don't care what it is, but you gotta say something. So you think it was your nasty drunkenness, I minded. Oh, what else? You promised me that you'd go down the river. Miss, miss, listen to me. There's death a thousand times down there. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but don't blame me. Blame the river. You promised. Well, I'm taking my promise back. All right, miss, you win. As the crocodiles will be glad to hear. Down the river we go. Thank you, Mr. Allnut. We're making splendid progress, Mr. Allnut. Look over there. Shona? Not yet, miss, but soon over there is a crocodile waiting for his supper. Which side of the river is Shona on? Starboard, miss. But good, then the sun will be in their eyes. But you're worried, aren't you? Oh, not me, miss. I gave myself up for dead back where we started. Well, that noise, what was that? That fort's closer than I thought. They're just letting us know they've sighted us. Their next shot's gonna be closer. Their aim's dreadful, isn't it? Their aim will be good enough unless we turn back. Mr. Allnut, I don't want to hear those words again. Yes, miss. Now put your head down. We'll get rifle fire too in a minute. Can't we go any faster? I wish you're gonna try, miss, and if it's all the same with you, start praying. Made it! Look, we've made it! It's a parade, Mr. Allnut! Are we sure putting one over on them, Germans? That time, didn't we miss? Oh, we showed them, miss. It's a parade! But was my handling of the boat all right? Oh, better than all right, miss. They were that surprised at seeing the old African queen. They didn't really start shooting till we were past. Oh, this wonderful old... Ah, we're full of water, miss. We're battered and we're busted. You see these bullet holes? One through the steam hose and two in the boiler. But the engine stopped. Long since, miss. But we can drift into them shallows and I'll start pumping. No, no. I'll pump while you go ashore for logs. Well, that would save us time. Thank you, miss. Here now. You watch close and I'll show you the trick. Water pumped out, Mr. Allnut. Come and look. Just let me see you set these logs down. You've worn yourself out, miss. Oh, so have you. Well, if it's all right with you, we'd better stay here till morning. Hey. Hey, where'd they come from? Them flowers. Oh, I... I just couldn't resist them. I waited to shore and I... I picked them. Do you recognize them, Mr. Allnut? I've never seen them before. I can't say that I have either, miss. What if no one ever has? What if they don't even have a name? Well, name are not, miss. They sure are pretty here. Put one in your hair. Catch. Oh, dear. Oh, I had dropped it. No, no, no. I'll get it. No, no. I could pick it up. I... Well, look at us. Hands and knees in three inches of water looking for a flower. I could laugh and... I'd cry and I... You kissed me. Yes, miss. I sure did, miss. You... You kissed me. Mr. Allnut. Dear... Hello, Rosie. You've been napping. Supper's ready. Rosie. Fancy you building a fire and all while I slept. Dear, what is your first name? Charlie. Charlie. Give us a kiss, Rosie. Charlie. Charlie, dear. Ah. The more I look at this place, the prettier it gets. I expect it's about the prettiest place I've ever been to. Oh, not that I ain't all for going down the river, you understand? Yes, Charlie, I know. By the sooner we blow up the older we's are the better. What I meant was I'd like to come back here someday. Then you think we can do it? Do it. But there's nothing a man can't do if he believes in himself. Never say die. That's my motto. I've had misgivings, Charlie. I was beginning to think that perhaps the whole thing was a mistake. How's that, miss? Ah, I mean Rosie. Well, I... I had a moment of weakness. Well, if you're feeling weak, Rosie, where a day or two here on shore won't make any difference. No, we'll go on and thank heaven for your strength, Charlie. Thank heaven. Rosie, girl, looks like there ain't nothing can stop the old queen. What about the propeller, Charlie? Turning nice as you please, Rosie. Why, we're going down the river just like, uh, Anthony and Cleopatra in their barn. Ha-ha. This couldn't happen, Rosie, if it hadn't been for you. Don't you feel proud of yourself? Certainly not. It's you, Charlie. It's all you. I don't think there's another man alive who could have done what you've done. Oh, I'll never forget the way you looked when we was going over them rapids. Head up, chin out, hair blowing in the wind, the living picture of the heroine. Oh, fancy me, a heroine. Oh, Charlie, you've lost your mind. Lost my heart, too, sweetheart. Oh, what a time we've had, Rosie. What a time. We'll never lack for stories to tell our grandchildren. Charlie, how much further do you suppose it is to the lake? Well, there's no telling, Rosie. All depends on how much winding around this old river does. The river's changed, hasn't it? And that smell. It's like marigolds, stale marigolds. Not a very good smell for a flower. They're very pretty, though, marigolds. Rosie, look. Another bend? Only that's all it was. Rosie, it's on all sides. Nothing ahead but grass and papyrus, as far as you can see. But the river doesn't stop up there. It can't. Not according to the map, it can only. How do you get through that stuff? Charlie, they're islands. Thousands of tiny islands. But where's the main channel among them? Don't look like there is one, Rosie. Just a sea of grass and a forest of weeds. Well, I'd better cut the engine. Charlie. What are we gonna do, huh? I don't know, Rosie. Get into it and take a look around, I suppose. Yes, dear. Yes. But once we're in Rosie, and the grass and them reeds close up in back of us, there'll be no going back. If anything happens, we'll just sit there till we go off our heads with fever. I... I know, Charlie. So you pay your money and it takes your choice. Which is it, sweetheart? Straight ahead or turn around? Straight ahead, Charlie. We'll continue with Act Three of the African Queen in a few moments. Now it's with great pleasure I introduce our guest, the lovely Ja Ja Gabor, who will soon be seen in United Artists' great new technical picture, Moulin Rouge. Hello, Irving. You know, I've just returned from Paris. That's where the picture was filmed because it's about the famous French painter Toulouse Latrec. Yes, and his genius and reckless way he defied convention make one of the screen's most dramatic stories. You know, José Ferrer appraise the actor, plays, and now the new French star collect Marchand, plays the woman he loves, and I am Jean Avril, the famous singer and then Saint Toulouse Latrec's post. It's a spectacular picture, Ja Ja. In Moulin Rouge, producer John Houston captures all the flavor of Paris Left Bank and the colorful artist's life. Ja Ja, you're a knockout in that red and white costume of Latrec's famous poster. You set it off so perfectly with that creamy complexion of yours. The Luxe complexion, I know. Of course, Ken. I'm devoted to the Luxe toilet soap facials and I really appreciate Luxe for my boss, too, especially after making this picture. My dance number required 93 rehearsals. Was I tired? But my Luxe boss, completely refreshed. Yes, a bath with creamy white Luxe soap is the quickest beauty pickup ever. It treats you to so many luxuries in one. First, there's the rich abundant leather Luxe gives, even in hard water. Second, there's that delightful mildness of Luxe, the way its gentle leather leaves your skin so soft. The luxury I love is the Luxe perfume. It clings so long, yet it's so delicate. Flower fresh. Thank you, Ja Ja. Girls, try the big bath size Luxe toilet soap. Do it tomorrow. Be Luxe lovely for the holidays ahead. We pause now for station identification. This is the CBS Radio Network. The curtain rises on act three of the African Queen, starring Greer Garson as Rose and Humphrey Bogart as Charlie. It is now the journey of the African Queen has been halted. Across the breadth of the river, like a touring living wall, is a jungle of grass and reeds, an endless morass for which a thousand different channels twist and turn. On somewhere among them, Rose and Charlie are hopelessly lost. Charlie, please, let me pole for a while. That's no use, Rosie. All the channels we've lost, all the squirming and turning we've done, this river's crazy, crazy as I am. Oh, Charlie. Sorry, old girl. Well, the only thing that will put the roses back in our cheeks is to get out of these reeds. I'll go over the side again. You pole, Rosie, and I'll push. Just keep it straight if you can, Rosie. Head us through the grass. Must... Your main channel... Mustn't... It just... It just can't... ...disappear. I'm sick of talking about it, Rosie. Or searching for it, or even... Charlie! Leaches, bloodsuckers, are you covered with them? Oh, my leg, Rosie, my arms. Oh, the little beggars, pull them off me. Rosie, help me. No, no, no, don't touch them, don't. Oh, salt, Rosie. Yes. You pull them off of their head, stay in, poison the blood. Get the salt. Yes, dear, yes, I mean... Oh, poor it over me. Oh, poor the salt over me. I am, Charlie, I am. Oh, they can't stand the salt. See, Rosie? Look there, they're dropping off. Oh, poor Charlie. Since anything in the world, I hate its leeches. Oh, the filthy little devil. You're bleeding. It ain't nothing. The salt will kill the poison. Well, here I go. Charlie, no, you're not going over again. No, no. Take the pole, Rosie. We'll try again. Rosie, you still awake, Rosie? I'm here, dear. I'm awful cold, Rosie. Hot and cold. Chills and fever. A fine specimen of a man I am, ain't I? You're the bravest man that ever lived. You just overdue. That's all. Try to sleep. And when you wake up, we'll be on our way again. On our way. Even if we had all our strength, we'd never get the boat off this mud. We're finished, Rosie. I know it. I'm... I'm not one bit sorry I came. What I mean is, it was worth it. We've come to the end of our journey. I pray for you to be merciful. Judge us not for our weakness, but for our love. And open the doors of heaven for Charlie and me. Rosie, it's over, sweetheart. A storm's over. Open your eyes, dear. It's daylight. I wonder if I dreamed it, Charlie. If it was just a... a nightmare. I saw animals and... and birds running. Screaming. Nothing you dreamed, Rosie. I never seen such a storm. Charlie, what are you doing? You're not strong enough yet to... Rosie, I ain't doing anything. Open your eyes and see. I'm just sitting here next to you. But we're... we're moving. Moving. Moving. Rosie, look. Charlie, where are we? Rosie, dear, we're on the lake. Oh, the rain did it until the channels looked. The rain and the wind just lifted the old queen up and carried her over the mud. We've cleared the rea... the weeds, Rosie. Oh, look back there. Or we couldn't have been a hundred yards from it last night when we give up hope. Oh, Rosie, Rosie. Oh, let's try and build a fire if we can and get the engine started and go right out to the middle, away from these reeds where we can... where we can breathe again. Sure, sweetheart. Sure. We'll be out of here in the jiffy. Oh, this air. Oh, Charlie, it's one. Let's miss clear the way. You see, the lake's as big as an ocean. Yeah, it's like... like... I know you don't approve, but it's like a shot of gin. It makes your blood race and your spirit soar. Oh, I'm sorry I poured out all that gin, Charlie. Oh, forget it, Rosie. And just to show you there's no hard feelings, I'll make you another cup of... What? What, Charlie? Rosie, there to starboard. That's the Imperial German Navy. That's the Louisa. She's coming towards us, Charlie. Take her around while I stalk the boiler. Yesterday those weeds were our death and, Charlie, today they're our salvation. Oh, I was so sure they'd seen us. Look at the size of a Rosie. See her guns? Why did they stop at that little island, Charlie? Well, luckily it's just routine or maybe just checking what the storm tore up. They'll be back again. You know how them Germans are. Methodical, yes. Yeah, that's them all right. They lay down systems and they stick to them. They'll be back on Tuesday someplace else, and Wednesday they'll be back here. Oh, yeah, I know what you're thinking, Rosie. You're thinking to the next time the Louisa comes back here, aren't you, old girl? How long will it take, Charlie, to get the torpedoes ready? Depends on the detonators. Well, I... I gotta rig up something. We'll manage it, Rosie. We'll manage it. Hell, there they are, Rosie. Them's the detonators. Oh, Charlie, you're wonderful. What about the cylinders? Well, with you helping, I'll lash them on each side of our bow. Only we can't set the detonators on them until we're ready to set out. You see, they're kind of tricky, Rosie. We'll be working at night, Charlie. Can you do it in the dark? That's the case. I have to. And you're sure they'll come back with the Louisa? Well, let me see. Figuring both the speed and the size of this lake, my guess is she'll be back here tomorrow afternoon. And when she comes, we'll be ready. Tomorrow afternoon. Charlie, let's make the queen as clean as we can. She ought to look her best, representing as she does the Royal Navy. I think I even got a flag around some. Charlie. I will sail out of these reefs, proud as a dreadnought. Rosie. Yes, Charlie? Now, there ain't no use of both of us doing it. As you can plainly see, it's a one-man job. Oh, you couldn't be more right, Charlie. Now, Rosie, I'm glad you agree. When the time comes, I'll put you off here on the east shore. You'll wait for me while I attend to the Louisa. Well, certainly not. You're the one to put ashore. This whole thing was my idea, wasn't it? I'm the logical one to carry it on. Rosie, I'm surprised at you. You're a very sensible woman, as a rule. While the two torpedoes hanging off her bow, she'll steer entirely different, let alone be in half swamp. Didn't I steer us down the rapids? Well, suppose she broke down out there, wouldn't you look foolish? But me, she knows where a boss is. You bet that old engine does. Well, I suppose you're right. Now, that's settled. It may be necessary for you to come along. Come along? Oh, no, you don't. You'll wait for me on the east shore. Who do you think you are, ordering me about? I'm the captain, that's who. And I ain't taking you along. You'd only be in my way. I suppose I was in your way going down the rapids. Then what you said to me back there on the river was a lie. You never could have done it alone. How you'd lost your heart and everything. Are you liar? Oh, Charlie. Charlie, we're having our first quarrel. Oh, Rosie. It's just that I can't bear the thought of you. Well, supposing that anything should happen, not that anything will. Don't you understand, Charlie? I wouldn't want to go on without you. Oh, Rosie. All right. It'll be you at the tiller and me at the engine, just like it was from the start. I knew you'd see it, Charlie, dear. Thank you. There she is, Rosie. That's the Louisa, right on time. There's no smoke from her stacks. The wind, sweetheart, has blown the smoke faster to come down. I don't like this wind. I mean, either, Rosie, it's gonna storm. But if it storms tonight, there'll be less chance of them seeing us. Maybe a storm would be a blessing, Charlie. That's the way to look at it, Rosie, old girl, and I'll let you and me get them started on them detonate. I'm not gonna anytime, Rosie. Something's wrong. Don't steer, Charlie. We're taking too much water in the bow. It's them torpedoes weighing us down. Charlie, look. Those waves. Hang on, Rosie. We're snatching that with sinking, Rosie. The tiller's gone. Something broke. Everything's broke. Grab the preserver, Rosie, and then jump. Charlie! Mind you, just once more, you are a prisoner aboard the steamship Louisa of his Imperial Majesty's Navy. You will tell us the truth. Yeah. Yes, what? Uh, uh, British. What were you doing in these waters? Uh, uh, fishing. Yeah. Fishing off the island. You're a spy for the British. Well, do you deny this? I told you I was fishing. This is the gozumpte beweizmaterial der Anklage, Herr Kapitän. Franzifort, mit der Verteidigung. Obviously, you're lying, but it does not matter. This court will sentence you to be hanged. I know. I know Fraule. Oh, she advised to sign. You. There was a woman with you. Rosie! You'll answer my question. Brings a new flower here. Rosie! Charlie! Who is this woman? I don't know. You called her by name. I thought she was somebody else. Charlie! Who are you? Miss Rose Sair. What were you doing on the lake? I ain't told them nothing, Rosie. We were voting. As your fellow prisoner is about to learn, the penalty for lying to us is death. Charlie! Very well, then. We came here to... Rosie, no. To sink this ship. Charlie, dear, at least, let's have the pleasure of telling them. How don't you believe her, Your Honor? She's attached, you know. Fever. And just how, Freiline, did you propose to sink Sir Koenig and Louisa? Why, with torpedoes. Yes, Mr. Allnacht made them. Made them. Amazing. Charlie, tell them how you made the torpedoes. Well, you see, what I did was, I took the heads off two cylinders of oxygen, I filled them up with live explosives, about 200 weight. Now, that was easy enough, but it was the detonators took some doing. And you know what I used? Cartridges and nails and blocks of soft wood. Go on, please. Then I took the two cylinders and hung them on the port and starboard in the bow of the African Queen. So it's when we rammed you, poof! And where is the African Queen? She sank last night in the storm. Too bad. I should like to have seen those torpedoes. Perhaps you will. They'll still be floating around somewhere nearby. Yeah, they could still sink this ship, Rosie. I know how there's torpedo nonsense. It's ganz klar, as die beiden Spione sind. Ich schlage vor, wir geben sie in fünf Minuten, fress diese Lügen zurückzuziehen. You have five minutes and wish to reconsider. Tell us the truth, or you will both be hanged. We've told the truth. Haven't we, Charlie? And we, uh, we got a favor to ask, Your Honor. Well? Well, uh, you're the captain, I guess. I am? Well, uh, then you could marry it. Oh, Charlie, what a lovely idea. What kind of craziness is this? Come on, Captain, it won't even take five minutes. And it'll mean such a lot to the lady. If you wish it, absolutely. Very well. What are the names again? Charles. Rosie. Rose. Da ist ein Bebel auf dem Breit hinter dem Schrabtisch. Ja, Herr Lothian, ich seh sie. Brings sie her. Charlie, look, a Bible. Look at me, both of you. Do you, Charles, take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife? Yes, sir. Do you, Rose, take this man to be your lawful wedded husband? I do. Then by the authority vested in me by His Imperial Majesty, Kaiser Wilhelm II, I pronounce you are man and wife. Proceed with the execution. Ab mit dem beiden Gefangenen nach Achten und los mit dahin. Charlie, my husband. Rosie, Rosie. You will follow me now, at once. Dude. Can you keep swimming? Oh, yes. I never felt so good in my life. I guess we did, Rosie. The wreckage of the African Queen. That did it. They ran the Louisa right into it. How do you feel, Mr. Ornutt? Pretty good for an old married man. Round, Charlie. Which way is the east shore? The way we're swimming, old girl. There was a bold fisherman, set sail from off Pimlico to catch the bold piggy. But our stars will return. Are you blaming stocking runs on the stockings themselves? Well, perhaps you're making a big mistake. Yes, look. The blame may belong to the way you wash stockings. You may be wearing out your stockings in the wash. Wash washings with strong wash day products were never meant for delicate nylons. Cobwebs shear nylons need delicate care, really special care. Always wash your stockings gently in pure lux flakes. They thrive on gentle washings in safe lux lather. You see, lux flakes melt completely into a silky cleansing foam. And each gentle washing in lux has a special action that keeps nylon threads strong as new, washing after washing, wearing after wearing. Lux Flakes care double stocking wear. That's like getting a next pair of nylons with every pair you buy. Start giving your stockings safe lux flakes care tomorrow. 95% of stocking manufacturers recommend lux. Lux Flakes are guaranteed by Lever Brothers Company. Now here's Mr. Cummings with our stars. And here they are coming forward for a well-deserved curtain call. Humphrey Bogot and Greer Gott. We certainly suffered every step of the way with you two on the trip of the African Queen. I remember another safari full of hardships that you and I made quite a long time ago. Mr. Safari Boogie, what, to Africa? I went to Palm Springs. It was Boogie's first picture in Hollywood, and I was the director. We went on location to Palm Springs, and it was 120 in the shade. Only there was no shade. And you should have seen Boogie in his first love scenes. I couldn't see the girl for the water dripping in my eyes. But it doesn't sound as if you were having exactly a circus. No, but my latest picture just happened to be battle circus. I'm starring June Alice, and I'll get into it. See, I've been working at your home studio, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. Well, I congratulate you, Boogie. You know we make only the very best pictures over there. We mentioned one on the Lux Radio Theater recently. Plymouth Adventure, starring Spencer Tracy, Jean Tainé, Van Johnson, and Leo Gehr. I don't think Greer would like that. It's all about the pilgrims leaving England and sailing for America on the Mayflower. Oh, we English think it's a great idea. We've been doing it ever since. We're always glad to welcome our English cousins. Particularly, you lovely actresses with those beautiful complexions. Thank you. We're glad to adopt your way of caring for those complexions with Lux soap. I think it's wonderful. And you'll both think next week's show is wonderful. It's such a great story that it's been made into a picture five different times. And we're going to bring you the inspiring 20th Century Fox version of Victor Hugo's immortal classic, La Miserable. And from the original cast, we have the lovely Deborah Padgett and that fine actor, Robert Newton. And in the unforgettable role of Jean Valjean, another great Academy Award winner, Ronald Coleman. That'll be a swell show. Good night, Irving. Good night. Good night, and happy holidays. Now, here's Ken Carpenter with News About Mouth Hair. Ken? I'll give you a clean, fresh mouth than any other dentifice. And now here is proof that Chlorodent gives you a healthy mouth, too. Only in the interest of child health, Chlorodent was tested under the supervision of dentists at Father Flanagan's famous Boys Town in Nebraska. In this research, Chlorodent and a fine white toothpaste were used regularly by different groups of youngsters. And in just 60 days, dentists found that three-fourths of the boys in Chlorodent showed dramatic improvement in mouth health. Chlorodent was actually proved twice as effective as the fine white toothpaste for quickly reducing acute gingivitis, a common mouth ailment. And that's another reason why Lever Brothers Company unconditionally guarantees that Chlorodent does more for you than any other toothpaste, white, ammoniated or chlorophyll to give you a clean, fresh, healthy mouth. Make sure you have the toothpaste used in this Boys Town research. Ask for Chlorodent. Lever Brothers Company, the makers of Lux Toilets Open, invite you to be with us again next Monday and the Lux Radio Theatre presents Ronald Coleman, Dabra Padgett and Robert Newton in La Miserable. Deserving coming, saying good night to you from Hollywood. A cast tonight where John Doddsworth as the Reverend Michael Durenforth and Hans Conreed as the German officers. Our radio play was adapted by SH Barnett and our music was directed by Rudy Schrager. Trust Silver Dust. Trust Silver Dust. Trust Silver Dust to give you more for your money with a good will offer that's really a honey. Trust Silver Dust. New improved Silver Dust wonder bubble suds for laundry and dishes now makes you this amazing good will offer. Inside every large size Silver Dust you get as an extra a genuine Canon face cloth. It's big soft fluffy. Lovely pastel colors worth up to 15 cents. Remember in large size Silver Dust you get this genuine Canon face cloth as an extra. Try Silver Dust. See how it safely digs out dirt, gets clothes cleaner speeds dish washing kind to your hands. Yes, Silver Dust a great washing product with a Canon face cloth inside gives you more for your money than any other washing product. That's guaranteed. Get the large size box of Silver Dust with the big Canon face cloth as an extra today. Lever Brothers Company unconditionally guarantees the quality and performance of Lux-Tarlet soap, Lux Flakes Chloride and toothpaste and Silver Dust for your money refunded. This is your announcer Ken Carpenter reminding you to join us again next Monday night to hear Les Misrov starring Michael Coleman, Deborah Padgett and Robert Newton. This is the CBS Radio Network.