 So here's a crazy concept. Here it is. Let me just spill it out here to begin with. All regrets that you'll ever have in your life are born before you made the decision that led to the regret. Let me repeat that again. All regrets in your life that you'll ever have are born before you make the decision that led to the regret. Now you may be thinking okay that's a bit crazy but bear with me here as I make my point on this and this is a really liberating idea because it makes decision making a lot easier for us. A lot of clients I work with of course in my own personal life we all get to the point where we're like this impasse with the decision will I want I should I shouldn't die what am I going to do option A or option B. Loads of examples a few examples here would be should I stay in my job should I start my own business another one might be should I commit to this relationship or should I not really commit to this relationship another one might be very much more trivial than that seemingly should I go to the gym or should I stay at home and relax okay now there are a million decisions there's probably every day we make thousands of decisions we don't even realize most of the time that we're making decisions but sometimes we do become consciously aware of there's a decision to be made here and it seems important but I don't know what to do right I want this video I want you to come back I want you to save this video right somewhere in your bookmarks or something like that come back to this this video every time you have a major decision to make in your life because it'll make the process a little bit simpler so regrets are born before you make the decision on one level we have the behavioral level which is option A option B right and we spend a lot of time looking at option A option B we weigh up the pros and cons of choosing A or choosing B and we try to make this intellectual decision about it and eventually you know comes to the point where we have to choose one or the other and then we choose option B and shortly afterwards we're thinking oh what was I thinking why did I do this right I'm such an idiot I always make the wrong choice something wrong I'll look at all these negative consequences now if we go back in time before option B was selected we would realize that there's actually before option B was selected there was another decision taking place prior to that before that and that was the decision that was no matter what I choose here am I going to choose to support myself in the choice or am I going to use that choice as a way to build it on myself and undermine myself right in other words when I'm saying here is before you make a choice decide that whatever it is you choose you're going to back yourself fully for making that choice okay I realized that option A or option B the opportunity will always be there if you choose option A there's a no matter what it looks like it turns out to be there's an opportunity to support yourself or to belittle yourself and undermine yourself but so is the case with option B there's the opportunity to support yourself or to undermine yourself criticize yourself so before you choose either of them you have to make a more fundamental choice and that is am I going to support myself here in this choice or not no matter what I choose now once that's been arrived at and you've come to terms with this is what I'm going to do I'm going to use this choice to really support myself then you can start to weigh up the pros and cons and make the best most informed choice that you possibly can right but realize that if you don't make that choice that fundamental choice to support yourself no matter what happens you are probably the default is going to be for the inner critic to come in okay and it will undermine your choice so I hope that makes that a little bit simpler it's it's a concept that not many people too many people are aware of but the idea that all regrets are born before the choice is made it's shown us that there's a more fundamental choice to be made before any external behavioral choice is made any of the pros and cons are even weighed up right so decide if you're in a place right now even when you're indecisive about something realize there's a choice to be made here am I going to support myself no matter what I choose and then the choice will become a lot easier and after you've made it you may notice that there's a tendency to belittle yourself and remember I did I did make the choice you know that I was going to back myself here in this so I'm going to back myself right it's kind of interesting and no matter what we choose there's that inner critic will have something to say about whichever one you choose okay stay in the relationship okay I choose to stay in the relationship three months into that choice why did I stay in this relationship right choose to leave the relationship three months into that choice you know um why did I leave so it's it's the inner critic the nervous system again speaks through that inner critic it's good it's going to find problems that's what it always does so inevitably that will happen no matter what you choose so make the choice to unconditionally support yourself and let me know what you think about that I think I found that to be a really really powerful concept in life and something to bear in mind every time there is a choice an obvious choice to be made I hope that was helpful guys and I'll talk to you next time bye for now