 When you discard the narcissist There are things that have happened That have made you want to discard the narcissist You realize that nothing is going to change The same things are going to keep happening again and again You accept that if you do not take action in the situation Then nothing is going to change and this is what makes you desire to discard the narcissist You have been through so much for them You have told them what you didn't like and you have given them plenty of chances You have given them the opportunity to change But they never seem to do anything about it Because they clearly don't care about how their behavior is affecting you They're too preoccupied with their own interests or needs At some point you decide to take the focus off of them And you begin to decide what is best for you in this situation You are sick of being exploited by the narcissist You are sick of being treated unfairly You realize that you have to do something about the situation that you are in So you decide to discard the narcissist The narcissist is hoping that you will just overlook everything that they are doing Or you will just put up with it They don't really believe that you're going to leave them They're expecting you to stay and put up with the abuse And that's another reason why they have no intentions of changing their behavior So you have to make the decision to leave The narcissist has prepared or trained you For the purpose of being fixated on them and their interests or needs Rather than focusing on yourself and what is best for you They have trained you to develop an obsessive attachment to them and what they're doing You're either feeling depressed over something they have done in the past Or you're anxious about something they might do in the future You're never at rest You're always worrying about what they might do next You don't have the time to think for yourself Or to make a plan of action for how you're going to get yourself out of there So you end up stuck in a state of condition What all you can think about is what they've done to you Or what they might do next You remain in their controlled environment When they are able to dictate your moves Once you get some time to yourself And you have some time to think about what you're dealing with You realise nothing is going to change unless you take action to get yourself out of there The narcissist observes your efforts to leave And it's funny to them They look at it in a condescending way As though you're not really serious about it You're just saying that because you want them to change their behaviour They don't really consider that you're going to leave them When you do leave It is very upsetting and surprising to them They begin to panic They experience sudden uncontrollable fear and anxiety They didn't think you were serious They didn't think you were actually going to do what you said you were going to do And when you've finally done it They panic They realise that they have to do something To keep you around So they begin to act kind and friendly towards you They bring back the love bombing They bring back the false character they used to lure you in at the beginning This is designed to make you think that they're not as bad as you thought they were It's designed to make you want to give them another chance To make you stick around It's just to lure you back into the relationship Where you will then be mistreated again Once they know that they've got you If you don't fall for their tactics of love bombing And you continue to leave They begin to panic They get anxious and fearful When you don't fall for their love bombing They feel like you are rejecting their false self You are invalidating the delusional fantasy That they are trying to portray It causes a narcissic injury Which is then followed by narcissic rage And they become verbally abusive Now they want to hurt you They will bring up things that you confided in them Things that you put into their care or protection And they will then use them against you They will bring up things from your past Especially things that you might feel sensitive about And they will use it to try to hurt you When they feel like you're really serious about leaving It hurts them It makes them feel worthless And as though no one wants them So now they're going to say or do Whatever they think will hurt you the most They're not going to acknowledge or try to treat their pain They're going to throw it onto you And expect you to deal with it And another thing that the verbal abuse is designed to do Is that it is designed to make you want it to stop It is designed to make you want the kind, friendly character to come back And the only way that this is going to happen Is if you change your mind and then decide to stay with them If the insults aren't enough to make you stay The narcissists will then begin to smear your name They will make false and damaging statements about you to everyone They will try to assassinate your character And they hope that you will become aware of what they've done So that you will then look at yourself and see the damage that you've caused Because you try to leave them They want you to feel responsible for the disorder and confusion That they are causing around your family, friends and coworkers This is what they do when they panic When they feel anxious and fearful They feel as though their pet is trying to escape And if you go no contact And you make it difficult for them to contact you They will work even harder on their smear campaign Then they will really try to discredit you to everyone So that you've got nowhere to go And you can't have a life outside of them They want everyone to see you in the exact same way as they do They don't want people to have their own separate opinions of you They have to contaminate how people see you The way they see it Is that if you're not going to share your life with them You shouldn't have a life at all And that is why they will do whatever they possibly can To ruin whatever is left of your life If the threat of their smear campaign isn't enough to make you want to stick around The narcissist has to accept that they've lost They have to accept that you've moved on And that is when they will have your replacement ready Someone who will be prepared or trained For the purpose of suing them and meeting their needs They will be who you want squared to them They will be their primary source And they might not even want them to be their primary source They might not know enough about them yet But once you've left They haven't really got a choice They're forced to make this person their primary source This is why the narcissist wants to be the one that discards you When you discard them, you ruin their plans It causes them to panic It causes them to become anxious and fearful And then they have to make someone else your primary source Once this new source has now replaced you The narcissist will then triangulate you with them They will try to make you jealous They will try to make you feel like you're missing out on something But this is just an attempt to make you interested in them again They are trying to lure you back in They tell you that they're with someone else It happens so fast Sometimes just a few days or weeks after you discarded them And that is how you know that they were already with someone Even while they were with you When the narcissist starts devouring you That is when they already have their eye on someone else They always need positive attention They need to feel admired They cannot be exclusive in a relationship Where the person is not validating their false sense of grandiosity If you're not going to validate their delusions and prop up their false self They will find someone else who will They cannot be exclusive to one individual Their attention always goes elsewhere They're always evolving another person In their delusional fantasies of grandiosity and superiority But it's not real It's always exaggerated They're just dreaming about what they wanted the person to be When really it's just someone that they picked out of desperation Because they had no other options When you see who they're with It can be quite a shock to you But in their minds They've managed to trip themselves into believing That they've met this really desirable person Someone who everyone else wants But because you're not involved in their little fantasy bubble You don't see it in the way that they do And they don't really look at this person As someone who they really want to be with Until they know for sure that you're not coming back When they know that you're not coming back They will then start to develop things further with a new source They have no choice but to move on with this new source Because they know you're not coming back So don't be offended because they picked someone less attractive Or less accomplished than what you were to them They had no choice but to do that They couldn't make things work with you They couldn't get you to stick around So that is what they had to settle with It says nothing about you It doesn't take anything away from your value or significance It's just they had no other choice now that you are gone And this new source will go through the exact same process that you went through They will experience the love bombing The devaluation and then the discard And once again when they begin to devalue the new source They will then find another source to give them the positive attention and admiration that they need A backup source just in case the new source decides to leave them Because they already know from the moment they meet someone That they are going to be left at some point They would just rather be in control of it They know that at some point it is going to end They just want to be the ones that leave you You might think that this has only happened to you You might think that they have never experienced the same thing with anyone else And that is exactly what they want you to believe But I can assure you that this has happened many times before You are not the first person to experience this with them And you will not be the last You are just one of many people that they have cycled through Pay attention to what they told you at the beginning of the relationship When you first met them When they played the victim and acted as though their previous partner did something wrong to them You might pick up on the signs that this has happened before And that they have treated someone else in the exact same way as they treated you Yet they played the victim and acted as though someone did wrong to them Just as they will play the victim to someone else And acted as though you did them wrong It never ends It's the same thing every time When you discard them It continues to repeat itself The cycle continues Nothing ever changes because they never hold themselves accountable for what they have done Which means they never learn from their mistakes Instead they continue to repeat the same actions again and again Expecting a different result Thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching inquiries you can email me at nottodaycoachainatjima.com Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon