 Hello, Namaskar. Namaskar. I'm sorry, I don't know how to address you properly. But I absolutely love your teachings and your spirit. And this is my second live with you. And like, I'm in a state of emergency kind of spiritually. It's so bad that I get to the point that I pray for death and I don't know what's happening to me. And I watched all your videos and it gets, I feel more peaceful and I do everything you say. And it gets a little better. I want to tell you what happened to me and see if you can make any sense because it terrified me so much. You are my last hope. I cannot figure all this out. I've been trying to figure out for months and half a year and I just can't. In April of this year, I had a ayahuasca ceremony, my one and only time. And I went into it only knowing what others described it as a beautiful, loving, spiritual experience, healing. Well, mine was not, mine was terrifying and what happened was when it took effect and I opened my eyes, the whole world went black and white and it scared me so much. It looked, the best I can describe is like if you see images of holocaust and I started having severe physical symptoms. I knew there's nausea involved and purging, but I had severe pain to the point that I was just screaming in the ceremony like physically screaming for help and they came and tried to, you know, like chant over me. But I, the pain, the nausea, the fear was so bad that I literally felt like I was dying physically, not like ego death or whatever. I was physically, my heart was about to go on a cardiac arrest. I was just dying like it was just bad. So eventually I left my body, my body, like I remember looking in my hands and then my hands disappeared, the man disappeared, my body disappeared, the world disappeared and I, whatever is that I, that was still thinking went somewhere else and then there was no physical pain. I kept, like my mind kept saying God help me, mother, I help me, Jesus help me. I was even calling my husbands, I'm like somebody help me and no one helped me. And then I was in this, it was like space that is no space, like let's say a white room. There's no nothing, there's no world, nobody, no nothing. And some voice says you don't need to understand. And I surrender to that. And the voice says one more heartbeat, one more breath. And after that heartbeat and breath, I woke up and all the pain, all the effects were gone completely. And I was like, oh my God, am I really back in my body? I literally feel like I had an NDE, like a near death experience. But a lot of people say it was just ego death. And now what is happening since the panic attacks that started after that were at the level that I almost went to emergency room, but I knew they cannot do anything for me. I knew beyond dragging me up, I guess. It was so bad, I would just shake and my hearing will disappear, my breathing will almost like shut down. So then sweet lady showed me your video on Kundalini disturbance. I was like, oh my God, that must be it. I guess I woke up Kundalini, disturbed Kundalini somehow in that ceremony. I didn't even know what Kundalini was. And I did your surrender. I would say, I'm Victoria, daughter of Antonina from Lviv, Ukraine. I surrendered to my soul. I would do that and would get a little better. The voice told me to stop eating meat and fish, which I did. I became intolerant to coffee. I became intolerant to alcohol completely. And then lately, I have this fear running through me like a wave. I can be sitting in a chair. Nothing is happening to me. I'm in the safest place I can imagine. And it hits me. I can't breathe. And then I can't eat. I have this food plate all day. I am scared to eat. I don't know why I'm scared to eat. You would think it's nice, like you can lose weight, but it's not nice. I cannot eat. I eat and the panic attack starts from eating food. Where do you live now? I live in the United States, Florida. And where did you do this ayahuasca experience? And when was this? It was March or April this year. So about four months ago? Probably more like six. And I just live in this terror. I'm afraid to close my eyes because the visuals would start. They're not starting now. So one thing I want to tell you that it will not get worse. It won't get worse. It will gradually become more quiet. It is a Kundalini awakening. No question about that or a disturbance. It's not an awakening. It's a disturbance. And it will quiet down when a system has too much of poison in it. The consciousness leaves the system. That's the same way in the operating theater day, given anesthetic. The anesthetic is a poison. So the consciousness, the ability to perceive leaves the system. We don't know what exact words to use for it, but that's what happens. So what has happened to you is that the consciousness was pushed out of the system and you went into what in traditional spirituality is called Samadhi states, where there's a dissolution of the identification with the body. So then finally it's just this eye that is somewhere there in space in a way. And there's no connect with the body. That's the experience. Just that you understand what has happened to you. So it's not something that is going to go on and on now. The symptoms will gradually quiet down. The most important thing just to remember is it's going to get better. It's not going to get worse. That's for sure. Okay. You understand? It's because, you know, you have been catapulted out of the body. You know what I mean? Out of the body, catapulted out. And now you have to slowly come back, come back, come back down, down, down and settle back into your system. So while you're settling back into your system, these are things that are going on. So when something like this happens, what you need to remember and remind yourself is this will pass. It will pass. It will pass. Quiet down, Victoria. It will pass. And in that moment, bend, bend. If you can't eat, and these are all classical symptoms. This is not something unknown because no neurologist would even be able to diagnose it. What are they supposed to tell you? You're afraid to eat. I mean, then they'll say, okay, it's an anxiety and they'll, they'll medicate you. And I'm not saying that medication is always bad or something. There are situations where people need some medication to kind of tide over, you know. It's just that it doesn't really help much. What will help is to just tell yourself, okay, this is something happening in the system. Let it happen. Let it happen. It is the energy. Let the energy flow. Surrender, surrender. Let her do what she wants to do. Surrender, surrender. Let the energy do what it wants to do. Surrender, bend down, bend down, bend down, you know. And if you keep on practicing this, what will happen after a while is that the symptoms will get less and less. They won't get more and more. It would be very unusual if it became more and more, you know, because it's Kundalini disturbance. So there's no knowledge about this in the world of medicine today. Maybe a little bit, a few doctors here and there are working with it. But the fact of the matter is that surrender is not something that you're going to hear someone telling you to do. But that is what is going to quiet down. Remember that it is going to get better. It's not going to get worse. It's going to get better, but you have to surrender, you have to flow. It's like feeling that center, the soul, the center, the truth and just bending to it, bending. When the fear comes, it's a wave of fear like you mentioned. It's just like, take over, let it take over. Just say, okay, you want to take over my system? Fine, do what you have to do. Just let it be. That fear is a resistance to the energy. You understand? It's like your body is creating a resistance. Your mind is creating a resistance to the energy as it's trying to flow and make its way. Okay, you want to flow? Okay. Don't try to resist anything. Just flow with it and bend down. Flow with it and bend down. And very soon, if you really, really, really do this, really every time it happens after a while, you become a surrendered person, more surrendered. The energy now just wants to make you, push you into surrender. And the more you go into that surrender, the more it can flow and the more it can flow, the less the symptoms. So these anxiety attacks, when they happen, then the first thing to say is, okay, then you do what you want to do. I'm here. It's all right, I'm here. You flow where you want to flow. You do what you want to do. I'm here. I'm not going to resist. I'll bend. I'm not afraid. It's okay. Whatever happens, whatever happens, it'll be fine. I'll be all right. I'm with the center. I'm with the truth. I'm with the truth. I'm with the truth. It'll be okay. Bend, bend, bend. And you just practice this every day. Whenever you can, whenever your work allows you, are you able to work? Yes, I work in a hospital actually and on the front lines of COVID and fear and terror of that too. Whenever the fear comes, you see a patient, something is happening. Just say, no, I don't want fear in this system. You can leave. You can go. There's no other way to handle this. Just say the fear. It's a wave. I don't want this wave in my body. You can leave. This system has to be clear and has to let the energy flow and just let it flow, let it flow. No, I don't want the fear. It's okay. It's a physical, material thing. The cells of the body get gripped in that. You just bend and say, no, I don't want this fear in the system. You can leave. It's all right. You can leave. And gradually what happens is that the very cells of the body will start to reject the wave of fear as it takes over because remember fear is not something happening in your head, Victoria. Fear is actually an electromagnetic group of waves. It's there. It's all around. It's created. And it's moving around and it tries to take over the system. So whenever that fear comes, the first thing is that, no, it's okay. I don't need this fear in the system. And even if it's taking over, it's only in the material physical that it's taking over. The mind has to be quiet. It's okay. It's happening in the body. Just take a deep breath. Take a deep breath. Go. I don't want this fear. I don't want this fear. I don't want it. Go, go, go. But in a quiet way and bend, bend, bend. And gradually what will happen is that the symptoms will get more and more quiet because the symptoms, Victoria, are a resistance. Your system is creating a resistance to this disturbed energy. You don't need to resist. It's okay. The energy wants to create a wave. Let it be. Let it be. Go, move. And slowly, all these chakras will quiet. They sort of soften up and this energy can flow and come up and down, up and down, up and down. Whenever you can look at the videos, even being in those satsangs can bring you quite a lot of peace. There are also other videos. I don't know if you have seen them, but of just normal satsangs, it will definitely quiet down kundalini. It will. You just keep on watching it. And there's no need to die. You don't have to die. You'll be fine. It'll just take a little bit of time. Whenever the symptoms are not there, bend down. Be in the surrender posture even when the symptoms are not there, mainly when they are not there. So that prepares you for when the symptoms are there. Very soon it will quiet down. That ego also has to bend. It has to bend. It has to bend. And it's a tough job you have. So you need to be in that surrendered state. And I really suggest to you, right now I have no other means to actually support people like you around the world. And the way that I know that is possible is to just watch those videos, just watch them, just flow with them, keep them running whenever these things happen. They bring a quiet into the room, into the space. And that is what is important, you know? Or if you have other masters, teachers, people that you feel connected to, you can watch that. But you need to create an atmosphere now of surrender in the space around you. I think I lost trust that I am safe after all that. Sometime I don't even know if I can trust my own soul because I feel like it's just going to leave my body any second. And I'm having a hard time with safety and trust, like universal safety. Like I'm not safe in this world. I'm not safe in this universe. I am just so scared to death. I am more scared of living than dying. It's a decision of a moment. It's just one moment you make that decision and you will be fine after that. And that decision is essentially that when my time comes to go, I go. And now my time is to be here and I'm here. And this eye that is here is just this thing here. This is what is here. And that's it. And when it's to go, it has to go, it will go. And when it's here, it's here. Not to take all that too seriously, you know. Because you can't decide when you go. It's not in your hands to decide that. You cannot control this. Why do you want to control it? Let it be. Then you have to go, you will go. And as long as you're here, you're here. Life is anyway from second to second to second to second, moment to moment to moment. This moment we are here and next moment we are not here. It's not such a big deal finally, you know. So don't try to control all of that. Let it be, let it go. If I have to leave this planet, goodbye, I go. If I have to stay on this planet, I stay. It's not such a big deal, Victoria, you know. Life is not so fragile. You have to go that fast. You have to let go of trying to control whether you're going to stay or go or how it's going to be or which soul is what. That's a freedom then. It's a freedom from all this, will I live and what will happen to me and how and what. Whenever those waves of fear come, then it's like, okay, this fear is coming into the physicality of my body, the cells of the body are experiencing fear. Let it be quiet down, surrender. It will pass. The symptom will pass. I can't eat, I'm scared to eat. Okay, let that fear pass and then I will eat. It's okay, it's okay. Oh, I think I'm going to die. Okay, then if I have to die, I'll die. Or I'm living. Let go, let it flow, let it be. What has to happen? Let it happen. You cannot control anything. That's what you're learning now, you know. And it's okay, the symptoms will get better. I know that they will get better. Just needs a bit of time. It's not easy. It's not easy, I know. But it'll get better. By the time you come to see us, you'll be all fit. Then you'll say, why do I have to even go now? Thank you. With all my heart, thank you. Let's go.