 All right, hello everyone and Thank you for coming out tonight. Welcome to our behind-the-bar storytelling event and What we're doing here tonight is basically giving everyone a chance to hear stories from people who have firsthand experience from behind prison bars and dealing with the criminal justice system too often You don't get to hear the stories about the actual people who have dealt with the criminal justice system And they just get a label and that's it So the point of tonight is to actually give people faces get to hear stories and then also you get to hear from groups Local groups that are actually trying to do something so that you can actually Prevent people from going behind bars and helping people who once they've dealt with the criminal justice system to actually Get better There are lots of groups here. There's the there's the Longmont community justice partnership. There's the recovery cafe and there is the reentry initiative who has a very particular focus on on wellness and reentry and They will they will all get a chance to speak and I will talk more about the reentry initiative later on too and and and but first I wanted to talk about where you're at right now and That is the Longmont public media and I I'm really grateful for this place personally not just because I work here, but because It's a place where everyone has a voice Everyone gets a chance to speak and you get to hear stories like this and from every member of the community and No matter who you are you can come in and you can talk and tell your story and let everyone know and Whether it's an event like this and it's storytelling or whether it's Making your own TV show whether it's making your own YouTube show whether it's recording a podcast or just reciting some poetry with your friends or having a concert and Actually making an album downstairs all of stuff our stuff that our members do here and you can do or you can make up Something else and use that here Plus the best part is is that we'll help you put it out online and let other people see it We have three public access channels So we have a general public access so that if you make it we'll put it up we have a An educational public access so you show us how to make or do something We can put it on there, too And then we also have one for the city of Longmont So if you want to learn more about what's going on with the city with like city council meetings Boards and commissions the recent documentary that we helped the city of Longmont film You can all watch those all on there so those are all things that Longmont public media offers and Yeah, it's it's honestly, it's limitless. I could spend all day sitting up here talking about the things you can do the big thing that brought me in here was It was a place where I could come in for twenty five dollars a month and 24-7 just Podcasts with my buddy who lives over out in Texas and we could do a podcast about where talking about the criminal justice system and I couldn't have done that any other way. I tried to do it on my own. It was not effective It and It's because I do it here I'm able to get it way more places get way more eyes on it and I'm able to get way higher quality because all this equipment here you can use and Nine to five Monday through Friday. It's open to everyone in the community Which is also just I think is just an amazing thing and also important for everyone in the community being able to Take advantage of and tell their story and get it out there So thank you Thank you So speaking of telling stories Since I'm up here, I guess I will kick it off and I will go in and I'll talk to tell my story And also since I like telling stories anyway, and we had a big discussion for about Nobody wanting to be first anyway so I Like telling stories We had rehearsals for this event and one of things I'm talking about my life it breaks down into several parts and There is a big there's a big chunk at the beginning and I I could spend hours on that chunk alone on the early part of my life just because there's There's a part where me going to college and Getting into you know having crazy fun and all that kind of stuff There's a part where after college where I work at a startup and then I start traveling the country And then I end up with a top-secret government clearance and working for the Department of Defense then working for the ski industry up here and then getting married and then Traveling more across the country all that kind of stuff. I Go for days on on just that front part of the story but where that story ends up is me alone in Plano, Texas and not understanding why I'm like not happy and I'm working for a big company and like the big thing. I'm thinking about is how can I do Like how do I make more money? How do I become more successful in the ways that I think are successful at that time and What happened was I? As I'm trying to meet people the way that I knew how to meet people at that time Which was go out to happy hours go out to meet people. That's that's how you connect and I blacked out and even though I Didn't even have to drive to that happy hour I didn't have like didn't have to be in my car by the end of that night I ended up in my car and I ended up driving into someone and killing them and one and I You know to this day. I don't remember what happened There's a lot of things that happened that night. It was it was awful I do remember being In a jail cell the next day and thinking that everything I had planned for up to that point was over and That was the end of that so I Had to rethink what I was going to do and a lot of my prioritizing was About trying to not be in that jail cell anymore and thinking how I was going to stay out of it So when I was able to talk to my parents and they actually got me out on bond That was my number one priority is like what am I going to do to stay out of jail and Like I am prone to do and like I was very prone to do at that time I was like well here are a million things like I'm going to come up with some amazing idea that's going to Just take up all my time if I dedicate all my time. Don't worry about sleep. Don't worry about eating Don't worry about taking care of myself. Just focus on staying out of jail and that's it but fortunately, my lawyer at the time said that you need to go to treatment first and I Gave in and I did it so before Getting locked up I had I went to treatment and I got to see what that was like and I will tell you it's not anything like It's not what I expected. I just expected a bunch of sad people telling sad stories about being addicted to things and Really, it was a lot of people looking out for each other The Pete the counselors the counselors I found like they knew everything that we did they were all talking to each other they all knew what was going on they knew they were keep they had eyes on us at all times and They were they were keeping track of us and the big thing I could tell right away as they wanted us to get better and get out of treatment which was huge and It was really motivating and they also wanted us to talk because they could see that it helped We were helping each other by sharing what we were saying Which was crazy because what I was getting after the accident from talking to my family and from talking to like The people I knew at that time was they're like don't say anything because everyone's gonna judge you So I was out on bond. I didn't know how long I could have been a month or it could have been two years I didn't know how long it ended up being just a year and then and 2015 So it's exactly nine years from this day I was I I was went to get sentenced and when I was sentenced they didn't care about treatment and care about volunteering didn't care that I felt horrible About everything I did and I did not want to be that person who caused that accident and that I admitted to what I did They just knew that what I did and they and I needed I needed to pay for it and So I went I was sentenced to ten years in prison then ten years probation when I got out including a day in jail For every year Every year's on the day that I killed that person. So I'd have to go back out to Texas and do that And I went to jail and I learned the jail or I went to prison and I went learn that prison was not like treatment everyone like Treatment everyone had eyes on you but they were looking for ways to get over on you and It was something you had to be watchful of and mindful of and sometimes you had to it was if you wanted to help someone else You had to be careful because a lot of people took that as weakness and you had to be very careful of that and It was it's a difficult thing that What I learned from treatment was all I wanted to do was help to be in a place where that was some that was a shameful thing to do and I learned a lot of different lessons when When I was in prison, I learned how to Like I learned that eventually you have to break the rules. I learned that eventually like I learned like if I learned how to When you're getting strip search, how do you sneak something past your strip search? I learned what like how? you can MacGyver anything from just a little piece of metal and That our radio can be turned into anything So I learned a lot, but I also I will say I you know There were there were some amazing people or some amazing guys that I met while I was locked up, too There was amazing officers. I met while I was well while I was locked up and but It's hard because you have to look past the other things that were going on and And that really weighed on me a lot While I was locked up it weighed on me that it wasn't an easy thing that it was I had to look past everything to find those things and I to this day it feels to me like It's an injustice like that that that's the the biggest injustice that we don't try and make it so that you know When when there's a problem, we don't try and help we're not looking for ways to help people We're looking for ways to punish them. We're looking for who to blame in a situation So that's why I ultimately started with my friend who just happened to get out at the same time with like he he spent 30 years in prison and because of people who were looking out for for people in prison And doing programs like you'll see here tonight. He actually he was able to make parole and got out and Because of groups that came inside He he was able to like keep his sanity, which is a very hard thing for someone who was locked up for 30 years and He him and I do a podcast called the shakedown if you're curious, but Where we talk about What life is like in prison? what happened and more about What can be different and how it can be different and it's just and the fact that it's all it's up to each one of us to rethink it because Like I said, I've seen it different already. I saw treatment. I saw how different treatment is versus how much how different prison is Both of them take people out of society and when they've messed up the question is is are you Trying to make them better or are you trying to punish them? So thank you very much Thank You Ryan So my name is Chris. I am from recovery cafe. We are located right across the streets and I'm here to tell you a little bit about recovery cafe Recovery cafe opened four years ago and we are a community of people in recovery and you can be in recovery from anything You know listening to Ryan's story like where do you go? You know day 91 when you get out of treatment or you get out of jail and you're like I need to make new community, you know, that's you go to the usual places and you can't go to those places no more and That's where recovery cafe comes in. We believe in the power of community and We come in and you will be welcomed with open arms Something that does kind of separate us too is we ask everybody Be a guest check it out. See if you like it and if you feel, you know at home Please become a member and there's only three requirements for membership. It's 24 hours of sobriety Give back by helping keep the cafe clean or teaching a class or sharing your story and Attend a weekly check-in circle so you can get to know your community members at a deeper level and then the cafe is yours I mean, we're just there to steward the space and the cafe is all about the members and The members tell us what the community needs and we make it happen together We're open Tuesday through Saturday Come by we're in the basement of the church right now, but we will be getting our own space really soon It's already in the works. So look forward to meeting everybody and come say hi We have coffee. We have lunch every day if you work We're open Fridays four to seven and a really cool offering. We have right now is every Friday We have acu detox which is a acupuncture in your ear It's really great for releasing tension releasing toxins and yeah, it's a great time. So So great to be here. Thank you so much. I wasn't planning on speaking. So you're getting me on the cuff here, but Thank you, everyone. That's bright light Everybody my name is David David Brown. I know Ryan I met Ryan in prison And it's funny thing. He used to wear this really really bright orange yamaka and I used to see him across the dorm And it was like day glow and I used to think what the hell is that so I started talking to him and I Like Ryan a lot. We used to work out together He's just a really good guy and he's invited me up here. I'm from Houston. So I flew up here To come up here and make it fool of myself up here. So And I went to prison at an early age My mom died when I was 18 and it really kind of threw my life into a tailspin I acted out really bad before that though. I mean I had you know, not been the greatest kid either and So I went to prison I come from a From a very white background, you know and we knew nothing I knew nothing about the legal system so I went to prison for a burglar habitation the first time and Knew absolutely nothing. I trusted the court appointed attorney that I had I listened to her lie to me and believed it and I ended up with a 25 year sentence first time I got railroaded The system is not designed To help anybody and it's just weird how like somebody from my background that I came from that knows nothing about the system they get railroaded and how somebody that's from You know like from a background where prison is a natural thing They know the system and they can work it and so they work the system They can get a little bitty sentence, you know what I mean? But it's and the irony of that is for those same people if you're black or brown, you know, the prison, you know It's you're screwed there. You know, they just want to lock you up You know, I I went to prison I did five years on it when I first went to prison I thought I was going to be there for the rest of my life. I thought my life was over I lost everything I had. I lost what friends little friends. I did have still and You know, and I just kind of just dove into the prison mentality and just survived I hustled in there, you know, I I did all the wrong things in prison. I was involved in riots And I was just now as a screw-up. I didn't think I was ever going to get out I did five years got out and When I got out, I said man, I don't ever want to go back there But my mindset at that point was not in the right space. So I Got a job, but I wasn't making enough money. So I started selling drugs, right? And so that just eventually led to a tailspin, you know, just you know Pearl violations going back to prison back and forth and back and forth. And so this went on for about 15 years, right and The last time I went to prison You know in the inner rooms I had You know, I met my kid's mother I had three kids and you know, and I started, you know, and I was like halfway doing good, but not really and I I got a parole violation and went back to prison for and when I went back to prison for this parole violation And you know, this is my it's like my fourth time in the prison Including the first time in all the violations and I thought damn it's over, right? and so I sit in prison and I Don't have anything I have one friend who's stuck by me and That was it. So I used to write these letters to him, you know And I would because I didn't have anybody to really to talk to and I told myself when I was in prison this time I said man, I'm not I'm not gonna change anything. I'm just gonna do Do me basically I'm not going to try and a lot of people go to prison and they pick up religion or they pick up Something and it's like I decided that I wasn't gonna do any of that Ironically, I picked up a pamphlet on Buddhism and I was reading in it and there was this it was a story about I said, don't Even if you have to do a task, you don't do that. You don't like don't Focus on the bad focus on the good part about it And the example was a street sweeper and it was like, you know You could go out there and sweep streets and be like, oh, I hate this job. This really sucks Whatever, but really what you should be focused on is how you're making the street a better place for everybody else So I started thinking about that and I started thinking about what could I do in prison though? I make prison a better place for everybody else. So I started picking up trash. I Didn't tell anybody what I was doing. I would just pick it up and throw it away and Let me tell you people in prison. They throw a lot of trash on the ground lots of trash and I just started picking up trash and I noticed the more I did this the more my thinking changed and the more I changed fundamentally as a person and My friend that was out in the outside when he wrote me this letter He said hey you're fixing to come up for parole if you need a place to stay I need a roommate and I was like what the hell and so I asked him I said hey This you know, except when I ended up making parole I get out and I go stay with my friend Juan and while I'm there I asked him I said, why did you let me come stay here? He goes because I could tell you changed and And I was just like I was floored but it's like it's been interesting you know, I've been home for two and a half years and My life is really good now, you know, I do the right thing and I don't get in trouble and I just like go to work You know, I've been working two jobs for two years And I feel real fortunate to I was able I was able to you know come up here you know like on the spur of the moment because I really didn't think I was gonna come and And uh, Brian kind of called me out on that and but I was able to afford it and here I am and it's just My life is a whole lot better now And I think it's really unfortunate that you know our legal system is designed to make people fail, you know And there is no like how to balance your checkbook or how to pay your bills or anything like that in prison the only thing they'd say is hey, you're locked up go work for us, you know and It's crazy because most of those people don't know any of basic life skills, you know I really didn't know any because my parents took care of everything. I had to learn it all on my own and it's been an interesting journey but Life is pretty good now You know, I've been a guest speaker on the podcast on the shakedown. That's been kind of fun It's been and it's feels really good to be able to give back a little bit. So I Don't know. That's all I got Thanks, Dave. What a story Hi, y'all my name is Deb Whitzel and I do restorative justice practices and Listening to both Ryan and Dave talk about the If I may prison industrial complex Has me my heart racing and Has me just feel dug in about restorative justice practices Because I don't know if you all know what restorative justice practices are but they are the opportunity for people who have caused harm in whatever way that may be whether it's blacking out and Terrifyingly and accidentally killing someone or a myriad of other possibilities for causing harm those people have the opportunity to talk with the people that they have caused the harm to and I have the privilege of facilitating those conversations of preparing people to come together in this intense and healing process So that's what restorative justice practices are and I have the privilege to Have my own company called three stories consulting and I get to facilitate these restorative justice practices For anybody who wants them whether it's a business in need or human beings individuals in need That is my greatest honor on this planet is to facilitate those kinds of processes and Thanks to Ryan and Longmont public media. I also started a podcast last year that is stories from people who have been through restorative justice processes It's called the restorative justice Chronicles or the RJ Chronicles and you can find it anywhere that you listen to your podcasts And today I was editing my latest episode which is part two of a three-part series The first part is the story from the harmed person the person who was Robbed at gunpoint by two people when he was at work and And it's Incredibly impactful. So if you listen to podcasts, I encourage you to listen to the Jason Casper act story and While I was editing part two with Michael Clifton the one of the people responsible for the harm For the third time listening to the story I found myself in tears at Just what Ryan and Dave were talking about that We all of us are responsible for the harm that happens in the prison industrial complex and we have So many opportunities like the recovery cafe like the reentry initiative like the Longmont community justice partnership We have so many opportunities and ways to begin to shift that and So my highest hope as we're listening to these stories tonight is that we all start Turning our wheels and thinking about how can I show up and be a part of the change? That's what I got. I didn't expect this. I thought it may be rehearsals, but I think I missed them I so With me personally like I had of my mom my dad wasn't around when I was growing up and We witnessed a lot. We see my mom, you know using drugs out of young age And it brought us to you know, we're we didn't care and we got locked up as juveniles as I was 13 years old I got juvenile life When I was in I was in the group home I was 18 years old I was getting ready to be done with my juvenile life because it's five years and my brother got killed by the cops and That I brought me to a pain and I never thought I would ever come back from me and I'll see my brother laying in the casket And after that I just lost focus of everything in my life. I Started doing drugs heavily I got locked up when I went to prison Went to prison at the age of 19 and I got out when I was 23 years old and then But I was I was in prison the first thing that I did because I went to prison three times It was just like I was in the days I didn't I didn't have no no focus I didn't want to do nothing with my life, but you know gang bang and you know just Make a name for myself, and I didn't realize it realized what I was doing to myself so I get out and Yeah I've never been a good motivational speaker in front of people so now, but I ended up catching another case and it was a ten-year sentence and I went in there and at the beginning, you know, I was just like I didn't care I was you know getting into trouble and not taking no programs and I'm taking nothing seriously and My kids were very young they were there the babies still but I remember my son looking at me and crying and I Went back to my cell and I thought about it and I was like well I'm living the same my life my dad did with us. You know I'm saying so I need to make a change and I started taking every program I could in there and You know I started making changes I started taking responsibility for the things I was doing I was done blaming my dad for not being there I was done blaming the cops for killing my brother and So I got out this last time and I made a change. I wanted I was like well Let me do something different. Let me be honest about the things that I've seen You know seeing people get killed in prison, you know, I've seen you know my best friend get shot in the back of her head and I needed help so I reached out and I started working across the street as first I started out the reentry initiative and You know, it was just not I wasn't getting no growth there You know what I mean? So like I went down the recovery cafe and ended up hiring my me on and I started working there full-time as a peer support and I got another job opportunity It's called tribe recovery homes. That's where I work now. I work there and at the recovery cafe and And my other job that's in Denver It's in a neighborhood where all my troubles started So, you know, I'm able to talk to people and relate to people and tell them like a Know them people them friends that you them so called friends that you call people that got loyalty to you They ain't there for you bro like show love to the people that have loyalty like your family And you know, so I'm able to talk to people relate to people how people open up and it's something that I love to do I love going to work every day, you know being able to talk to people and help them You know because I see them and me how I used to be and you know, so I love it and I'm sorry guys. I'm not really good at talking but Yeah, so I've been clean May 25th. I'll be be almost it'll be four years. So All right, so we're gonna take a brief intermission before we get to our next set of storytellers There are bathrooms downstairs and like I said, there are refreshments in the fridge Also, if you look on the tables, there are cards like these sitting around and some pens and if you need some more pens Just let me know If you have questions for the storytellers we will have a panel at the end and We will be answering questions on these cards and then if you want you can hand them to our awesome showrunners for this evening Justine and Chris sitting standing and sitting over there and They will ask us questions on these cards. So thank you so much And we'll start a short intermission The recovery cafe just donated some non-alcoholic drinks. Just FYI All right, everyone. We're getting started back up It's gonna let Ricky know Ricky get ready But I'm gonna say one one thing Right across street first off. I'm gonna do a shout out to a whole bunch of people right now First off if you don't know about the central Longmont Church They do a whole bunch of great stuff and inside that building aside from the recovery cafe, which is in there all right now Which is awesome there's also the reentry initiative and I'm going to read their mission statement because I'm just gonna freestyle otherwise and I don't know we don't need that and Their mission is to provide comprehensive services Inside and outside prison walls that empower adults to live fulfilling in crime-free lives in their community Which I feel like is good like I mean that's That's an important thing right there. I'll value and I it's all about my like my feeling about It's not about blame. It's about trying to help people and helping is good for everyone involved. So So that's And I yeah, I'd love to do more stuff with the reentry initiative You should definitely go learn more about them. Whether that's stopping by central Longmont across the street or Going to do we have a website? Yes reentry initiative org? Alright, so now I'm going to hand this off to Ricky Give it up for Ryan everybody give it up for Ryan Putting this shindig together for us. My name is Ricky Ramos For those that don't know who I am. I'm actually One of the very few local Latino professional comedians down at the comedy works down in Denver I've been able to Create my my journey through comedy. I've been able to create Colorado's first-ever bilingual comedy room I've been able to create Colorado's first-ever bilingual comedy festival But that's not the reason I'm here. The reason I'm here is I had to go through the journey of life To get to where I'm at now and my story starts a long time ago in a galaxy far far away I grew up in North Denver. Okay before it was gentrified before The buildings and the bulldozers came Back when it wasn't such a nice place to live I believe one of the summers I grew up was one of the most violent summers in Denver I was born to basically be a pit bull. I was born to fight I was born to to be a gang member. My dad was a gang member I was bred into that life to be a gang member. I Didn't really I mean I played both sides of the cards growing up I knew that if I didn't get good grades in school and I didn't excel in school I'd have to hear from it by my dad, you know And if I didn't go run the streets with the homies I had to hear from it from the streets as well So not only did I run the streets and and still cars by the age of 12 But I also had book smarts. I also had book smarts when I left middle school I had straight A's you guys when I went into Denver North I had straight A's but at the same time I still did what I did in the streets Like I said cars car stereos 12 years old cooking crack selling crack by 13 14 years old It was crazy. It was crazy life. It was a crazy crazy lifestyle that I lived back then It was all kind of a blur But at the same time at the same time I was still getting good grades. It had gotten to the point where I was offered a Scholarship to UCLA to play golf of all things full-ride scholarship to play golf. I chose to become Property of the state of Colorado It's what I chose For me, I've been struggling with the system for I'd say over 18 years now Consecutively it was three and a half behind bars Just as of 2017 was the very last time I used any kind of hardcore drugs. I've been clean since 2017 I've officially been out of the system I think two years two and a half years now and In order to get to the path where I was obviously I was I was messing up throughout my life throughout my life I was in the big boy pods in the prisons down in Denver County CRDC Arrowhead the whole nine and It wasn't until my dad retired and he moved up to this way to the Longmont area And I followed him because he had a bunch of family out here But I still struggled with being in and out of the system I got into heavier drugs methamphetamines things like that when I got out this way And it kind of just snowballed and I kept going and I kept going from the life that I used to live down in Denver and I had a run-in with I believe it was judge Sierra and She told me you need to figure something out with your time because Obviously and idle time is the devil's playground You need to occupy your time you're in a smaller town you come from a big city I don't want to see you doing the same thing over and over and over again And and at that time I had a buddy graduating from CU. Okay, and He was graduating with creative writing degree, and I'm like, what do you what are your plans with that? You're right children's books like and he was like no, I'm gonna do comedy I'm gonna do stand-up comedy and I was like, okay. Yeah, and it sat in the back of my mind And for whatever reason I guess it was the judge it was the alcoholics call it an epiphany It was just that moment where I was like, that's it. Something's gonna give the bridge is gonna break here and I'd call my buddy and I was like, how do I get into comedy? How do I do this? and at that time there were no comedy open mics it was musician open mics and I I I went with him. He's like right five minutes of what you think is hilarious. I'm gonna take you with me And we'll go from there So I went down and my very first set was underneath the hotel bull Dorado There's a bar called the catacombs underneath there and underneath there I sat with a piece of paper in front of a crowd just like this But it was musician so they didn't care that I was even in the building, right? And I poured my heart out into this piece of paper and I bombed I bombed miserably I bombed terribly It was the worst experience of my life prison jail at nothing compared To bombing full of a crowd full of white people in Boulder. You know I'm saying like it was bad so I Took it as a challenge. I took it as a challenge and I said this is something I'm gonna try to do This is something I want to do and I and I went out and I wrote all kinds of jokes And I did everything I could I Tried as best I could and it wasn't until I met a local legend in the area Hippie man, some of you might know He pulled me to the side and he's like you have everything that to be successful in the business Stage charisma voice carries X Y and Z. You know how to control a crowd. He said but your jokes. They don't they don't mean shit You're not talking about anything He said I want to know what you've been through. I want to know where your heart is I want to know what separates you from the pack. Why are people gonna buy your album? Why are people gonna listen to you as a comedian? And so that night I went home. I threw all my jokes away through everything away And I started talking about my real life Growing up a gang member being a drug addicted to drugs going to prison my life meeting my wife being Becoming a stepfather the growing pains of becoming a regular citizen in the world. I talked about all of it and Before I knew it I Skyrocketed to somewhere. I've never been before I Don't I don't know where I don't know where we're going I don't go on the airplane wherever I go and I just told my wife this the other day I'm done taking the airplane wherever I go Because I want to drive and I want to see what is out in this world I've only seen 38th and federal Chubbies a prison cell at my house. You know what I mean? Now now that I'm on the road, you know, I've been to to because of comedy I've been to Philadelphia Cleveland San Diego All over the map dude all up and down the Las Vegas all over the place All over the place and every single time it blows me away because I got there just from telling jokes Eight years ago nine years ago ten years ago. I was sitting in a prison cell not knowing if I was going home What the fuck was going on and now I'm I'm on I'm on first class at a Delta coming home from Salt Lake City. You know I'm saying but It was the trials and the tribulations that I had to go through to get to this point today And it wasn't until I was in the transitions program in the Boulder County Jail It wasn't until I was rubbing elbows with the Phoenix program in the Boulder County Jail It wasn't until I hit, you know The reentry programs and I got a backpack and I got a bicycle from these guys that helped me get my shit together I remember I remember at one point. I was waking up at 7 a.m I would get on my bike. I would go to the bus stop. Okay, I would take the bus to Boulder work from 7 to 3 Get on a bus from Boulder Go all the way down to Denver Union Station get on another bus go south to South Broadway Do a 10-minute set Get back on the bus get back up here get back over here to do what I needed to do ua's Whatever be a's all of it I remember the judge signing off on me to be able to go do comedy because Boulder County believed in me and It's crazy because I have a bit about Boulder County In my jokes and it's true. It is true Boulder County is one of the only counties in the nation That's actually helping. It's actually helping to reduce the recidivism rate There's no there's nothing in the system that is set up for you to succeed when you get home There's nothing in the system Set up for you to succeed You go from the courthouse to a prison cell and you sit on ice until you come home There's no skills. There's no language skills. There's nothing So when I had a platform when I was able to do what I was able to do I said, okay, let me focus other places. Where else does my intention need? And so I said, okay, I'm gonna go back to school. I'm gonna go to school for business. I Owned sidesplitting entertainment. I'm gonna go back to school for business. One of the comedians told me No, don't do that. You've already been running this company for the X amount of years um Whatever years whatever you have already learned out here. You're not gonna learn in a classroom Trust me go to school for something else So I said, what am I gonna go to school for what am I gonna go to school for and it wasn't until I did a show What the comedy works and I went home to the projects and I was I was hanging out with these guys I was drinking with these guys We're celebrating the fact that one of us is actually in a national club with national comedians And one of my buddies pulls me to the side and he says hey, I need your help I need you to look at this piece of paper with me and I thought I thought it's court court court documents It's a job application He didn't know how to fill it out He didn't know what an email was He didn't know what a flash drive was He didn't know what a hyperlink was He didn't know any of that but yet he's put in a situation where he's forced to succeed from From the position that you weren't once in you were forced to succeed again And now this is why they call it a revolving door because you took this opportunity You took a chance on life to make more money for your family that situation foiled Now you're in a situation where you're coming home from that foiled situation and you're forced To try to make it work as best you can Again in the environment that caught you in that foiled situation But now you you can't live here You can't live that you can't do this you can you can't do x y and z but with what we're gonna succeed, right? Not everybody that comes out of The facility is gonna have the opportunity to have two pennies in their pockets and be like hey I can run a comedy show here Let me run a comedy show here and then it'd be long months longest running comedy show Nobody other than probably myself has that opportunity So how do we make that opportunity for somebody else? Because not everybody's gonna have the success that I've had with comedy Coming out of the facilities. So what can we make them successful at? Let's give them a job. Let's give them a trade Let's give them a skill. Let's give them an opportunity. I Believe it's in Norway. There's a prison that actually has a sound recording studio woodshop Uh Everything that you could possibly learn in the trade and guess what their recidivism rate is Zero I didn't realize how corrupt this system was until I went back and I got my Psychology degree to to be an advocate for the prison system which ended up turning to be a youth advocate For young invincibles and I figured well, I'll break the the high school to prison pipeline I didn't realize that some of these questions that the world gives you probation gives you are loaded questions Well, are you stressed on a Saturday because somebody cut you off in traffic? And what are you gonna do when you handle that situation? Are you gonna a be blow up? Are you gonna? It's like you can't give me that question because Depending on if I woke up and I stubbed my toes Saturday morning And then I tripped over the dog and then I dropped the shampoo By the time I get in the car and I get cut off by you. I'm already heated You can't give me that loaded question and expect me. Come on The system is in place to make money it is a big box corporation Big bank big box corporation. They do not care About you what you bring to the table if you're a good person bad person If they need to make an example out of you 10 years 25 years, whatever off the bat do it Because they're gonna make money off of you I've had I think I've had two DUIs and I think I've Probably dumped I'd say At least 80 grand into the system UA's be a's If you don't do a UA you got to sit there till you do a UA. I Can't pee. I'm not a robot. I don't pee on demand This is crazy. It is crazy So how do how do we break the cycle? How do we change it? How do we as a community? Come together and change it. I know what I'm doing is Anybody that's going on the road with me picking up bags picking up trash anybody that's on sites putting entertainment's team You better have a record because I know nobody else is gonna give you the opportunity that I'm gonna give you It is what it is. It is what it is But if we can change it and implement programs that I mean, that's that's where it's at That's our bread and butter transitions Phoenix those programs saved my life Because it got my wheels turning It got me thinking it got me to the point where I was like I'm literally standing in a jail cell Well, I'm supposed to be opening for Cheech and Chong over here at the first bank center This is dumb This is dumb and I'm over it Everybody's got that breaking point Everybody's got that that point where they're gonna turn that leaf. They're gonna turn that coin. They're gonna turn it over Are we gonna be there with the tools to help them once they turn that over or we just gonna kick it under the rug And keep going the way we're going give me some money, but if you can't make it locked up, I guess It's not working. I'll tell you that it's not working so with that That's kind of my story man is is You know, I've I've came from the system. I'm a product of the system It was a hard road. I Gave I gave my wife kudos man a hundred over because she gave me that Stability that finally I needed in my life to actually be like, okay Let's pack up this pony show and let's go on the road and then sit on you know State-to-state-to-state-to-state, you know doing comedy. She was the one that gave me the stability Because before her I was still running the streets drinking doing drugs X Y and Z So there like I said, there comes that point and change in your life You got a you got to get there and you got to figure it out where it's at But we need to support when that person gets to that point So with that I guess I'll I'll leave you I got I'll leave you guys a little tidbit Okay before I head out of here before you guys actually have to buy a ticket to see me Um Like I said so so We we harp on Boulder a lot. We harp on Boulder a lot Boulder Boulder gets the blunt of our jokes Majority of the time as they should because Boulder's the only place I know where all the homeless people have iPhones like But Boulder like I said Boulder's actually trying to to do things They're trying to change the the way they outlook on life and the way they do things within the system Boulder is one of the only places in the nation that is working to reduce the recidivism rate Okay, recidivism rate for some of you. Okay, we're trying to keep people out of the system We're trying to rehabilitate not incarcerate. So one of the few things that Boulder does I know firsthand. Okay is on Fridays Okay, they give you popcorn and soda. I was like, oh, okay. All right. I was like, what's this all about here? What's what's going on here? They're like it relieves tensions within the facilities. I was like, oh, okay I bet it does I bet it I bet it does They they give you a life coach they give you a life coach They put you in cognitive thinking courses. They even go to the extent and make you do yoga Yes, the sheriff stands over you while you do yoga. Yeah, it's not a real jail. Okay, I've been to real jails Okay, for example, like Denver County, LA County, you get in a fight. You're like They're like Ramos. What was that all about? That's not how we conduct ourselves Go lock it down the sergeant will be here in the morning to talk to you dumbass Boulder County Boulder County get in a fight. You're like They go um Excuse me. Mr. Ramos. Can you come to the front of the pod the energy that you were bringing to this facility is very Negative, we're gonna need you to go up to your room. We're gonna lock the door on you You're probably gonna meditate. I'm sure there's a silver lining in here somewhere, buddy But for right now, we're gonna table this subject and the sergeant will be here in the morning to talk to you Okay, I was like, what is going on in here? You guys like it's not a real deal. They're not doing they're not doing tattoos They're in there doing Hannah tattoos. I was like, what is going on you guys? By the time they were like Ramos pack it up. It's time to go. I was like Namaste you guys Thank you Ryan so much for having me Hey all So I'm crystal I'm with the Longmont community justice partnership also known as LCJP So LCJP offers restorative justice services to the Longmont community. I Just want to say thank you to Ryan for putting this on and inviting LCJP to be here I know he invited tons of other folks who are doing amazing work in the community and definitely encourage you to go Check them out. This is the type of work that it's Ricky Was just talking about that supporting this work is what keeps folk out of the system I'm so grateful for all of the vulnerable stories that people have been sharing and that's exactly what restorative justice is about And that's what we do at LCJP Deb gave a wonderful Introduction about restorative justice we bring people together to talk about what has happened the harm that has been caused and Then most importantly we give folks the opportunity to reintegrate into community to offer repair for what has happened and to really focus on Rebuilding relationships and seeing a different way forward So LCJP has been in the community since 1994 That's a really long time and we've been doing work because of so many amazing community partners Community volunteers we have some folks in the crowd here tonight that are volunteers with us Really appreciative of the support, but this restorative justice process, especially at LCJP really humanizes folks We not only humanize the people that have caused harm We build them up and acknowledge the strengths that they bring that can then go towards offering repair But we also humanize those that have been harmed by what has happened very often when people Cause harm, especially when it's very grave They don't really have the opportunity to face that person and can never really face the consequences of what's happened you know we partner with police and Sometimes it's really difficult to get police to come and sit in these processes and be part of our circles They think that restorative justice is an easy way out But it is really not that at all Facing up to what you've done and facing up to the consequences can be terrifying And so we acknowledge that those that have been impacted and those that are participating and have caused the harm are brave for showing up in the Spaces that we provide for them Recently last year The city of Longmont and LCJP had partnered to release this new program. It's called rewind so this is a program that exists in Longmont now probably the first in Definitely the state may be the country Hopefully it exists other places But the the rewind program brings youth that have interactions with law enforcement and Gives them an opportunity to access a whole host of different resources So when youth interact with law enforcement rather than being given a charge or a ticket or having to go to court They are given the option to be recognized as a person Recognizes having made a mistake and then are able to do restorative justice Go to counseling which is provided free of charge no charge for them and for their parents There's art therapy life skill courses different ways of expressing themselves and leadership courses So many different things that are happening here in Longmont that is absolutely incredible And so this is one of the ways that we're able to keep people and youth in particular out of the system I could share so many stories about the youth that have come through the program But I just want to keep it super short Really want to ask for everybody here again to check out all of the different programs if you're interested in LCJP I'm happy to answer questions afterwards. You can support us financially or by volunteering Always always great to have community voices as part of that process. Thank you. Oh It's a little different up here All right y'all so I've heard a couple things today that have stood out to me one prison sucks to we're here to talk about our emotions not prison and three most they the biggest thing that stood out to me was If prison well, basically, I think it was this gentleman back here who did time in Texas something along the lines of Prison being designed to not help people and to not support people It's designed to prison to punish right Senator Lee asked me a question when I was on a panel of ex-incarcerated people He said what if the prison system is doing exactly what it's designed to do Put people in prison for committing a crime Nothing less and the more is the way that it was structured right So my response nobody else wanted to answer it my response to that is if nothing changes nothing changes Not your mind not your body not your soul so with that being said My prison experience Was a little bit different. I was I'm a female Women's politics are way different than men's So I guess maybe let me start over just a little bit. I'm super ADHD didn't take my Adderall today. So bear with me So my name is Kalina Rodriguez. I did five years. I was a Property of the state of Colorado I Got out I did a lot of different things and my biggest thing my biggest accomplishment Was when I was able to walk a stage as the first felon Ium miss, Colorado They said I couldn't do it. They said I was a felon. They said all these things That Ford was dropped many times. I tell my children not to say it all the time I do it all the time. So I can't I don't know I guess I'm a hypocrite, but whatever Nothing changes if nothing changes. It's not gonna change if I don't push it It's not gonna change if I don't try to do it. It's not gonna change You're not gonna tell a joke if you don't tell a joke Where nobody's gonna laugh if you don't say anything Nobody's gonna laugh if you're just sitting there on a stump crying Maybe some people will but they're just jerks and we don't care about them anyways So my point is is that if we don't make a stand There's nothing gonna be able to go you're not gonna be able to go forward so Long story short. I hope I Suffered for trauma sexual abuse all the things right I Grew up. I developed a very vicious alcohol Addiction very quickly at a young age by the time I was 12 full-blown alcoholic. They called me vodka Lena Man, that was met. That was my go-to all the time. I Had to take care of my niece at a very young age My sister had Developed mental health issues or they were coming out. She tried to commit suicide and my niece became my responsibility I had no idea how to take care of a child being a drunk at 14 years old couldn't take care of myself Had no money didn't know what to do But my neighbors knew how to sell weed My neighbors knew how to show me how to progressively make more money At a fast rate so that I could buy my knee my knees diapers So I was like all this this isn't the go-to. This is what I'm gonna do So I started selling weed started selling little things started realizing that the bigger the product Right the more money you would make so I'm a quick learner. I learned quickly that I could get more money the more that I sold so Here we go. Alcoholic now. I'm a drug dealer Very very young. I went I was committed to the do to do I see division of youth corrections By the grace of God, I believe in Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. I Did not get the juvenile life. I got zero to two I Sat down for a little bit had to have some reflections and I had to reflect on where my niece was and it wasn't with me It wasn't with my sister It was sometimes with my mom So I thought very hard to get out to work towards getting back to her and I did God back started taking care of her again But I realized when I was there that I would rather make people smile than make them cry. I Help this girl out. I'm very dominant. I don't know if you could tell her not I Tried not to be but it is what it is um so I this girl was crying and They were calling her names and all these things and I was having one of those days I probably dropped the soap not even sure what happened, but I was mad They were making fun of right in like her didn't know it, but I didn't like her They were calling her all these things Prostitute a whore she was in there for prostitution And I was like who the fuck y'all think you are Y'all are in here for something to sit down and She was low-key still crying, but she was like, yeah, she stood up for me. I'm like, I don't like you, but I don't like them either So anyways moving forward moving forward before I got out of a rabbit hole. I realized I wanted to help people Had no direction didn't know what that looked like at all. I knew I wanted to help people Went on a little journey trying to figure out what that looked like. Was it the army? No Was it what was it? I didn't know decided to go to Texas Love Texas love everything about it didn't work out a little hot there So I came back. I knew it wasn't gonna be great because at a very young age. I learned how to cook meth knew the recipe real good Had a great name in that community I wasn't met miss Colorado back then that's for sure so Learned how to cook it went up a little bit higher when I came back fell back into it really fast I gave somebody a large amount Thinking that I would get my money back. I Did not So my name was big enough my pride was even bigger Now when I didn't get it I was a female in a man's world and I made sure that they knew who I was and that if you crossed me Be the last thing you ever do and I gave no F's about it. I Had no remorse. I did not care Still didn't have my money though, and I was still mad. I Ended up catching the Penn State charges that night second-degree kidnapping Two second-degree assaults one of the special special circumstances torture That's imprisonment robbery and five conspiracies I had three co-defendants two males one female So an even longer story short I Went to jail in denials. I didn't even do all the things Co-defendants testified still mad at the world more so I didn't have my money and I got bounded out On a hundred thousand dollar bond I rocked the streets for four years Not one time committing a crime Not because I chose not to Not because I didn't want to I Got into a relationship right when I got on bond With a gang member who was an enforcer when he did a crime that I knew about He had to enforce That I didn't become like my co-defendants When he held a 45 Calibre to my head I could feel the heat from the barrel Because they had been shooting it all day They were asking to find somebody and I refused to hurt another female Refused I Had gotten offered a 96 year sentence on my crime. I was dead anyways For the trigger He did Anybody know anything about weapons, Texas 45s dog backfire This one did but he beat me so bad that I went to the hospital And I developed retrograde amnesia Couldn't remember anything but people Nothing but people Couldn't remember how to cook meth Couldn't remember that I committed a crime Couldn't remember who I hung out with nothing Nothing at all So I always say that that day that my body should have died was the night my evil mind died and I was reborn I Have no explanation how I survived other than being served being covered by the blood of Jesus Christ When that gun backfired my eardrums were blown out and all I could hear was keep fighting It's not over yet. I don't know how I heard anything. My eardrums were blown out Was kind of deaf But I heard it over and over and over again Throughout the four years I was on bond. I heard it several other times So moving forward again to my prison sentence Doomsday came finally. I Finally had to go to trial. I finally had to face the fact that I did commit a crime and I went to trial looking at two hundred and forty years my DA made a mistake and They offered me 10 to 12 because I was gonna walk My attorney was like you're taking that clean. I was like no, I'm not I'm winning I'm a winner going home today He goes listen to me. You're gonna lose If you don't take this deal, you're gonna spend the rest of your life fighting for it from inside prison I said baby Jesus. I'm taking it All right, I took it I Got remanded the next day. I went to the county mad as hell mad Mind you, I had three babies by this time Three boys Nothing chokes me up More than the sound of my son crying when I had to say goodbye but It was only temporary I Got sentenced by the judge and he said Kalina I saw I watched you come in here one of the coldest people I've ever seen in my life. I watched you go into an amazing mother and a wonderful woman That's why I'm sentencing you to the Department of Corrections for 11 years It's not over yet. Keep fighting I was like, oh y'all see in February Not knowing how time worked I Went to prison and I made a choice. I Wasn't going to prison for petty theft So I was walking the yard like I was like, I'm not gonna be anybody's be up in here. I promise you that again I'm pretty dominant But I got there and again women's politics are way different. I walked in and they called me the prison princess Because I walked around with my head held high my shoulders back and I didn't bow my head for anybody They thought I was too good for everybody But it's not that I was too good for anybody it was that I was a boss I chose that I was going to walk in there and I was gonna make a difference in my life that I was gonna go home choosing to go home When I was changed and I was gonna go home to my babies I Was choosing to let any cop in there talk to me anywhere that they wanted to and I was gonna say yes, ma'am. No, sir Absolutely Because I had a goal and I knew what I was gonna do. I was gonna make a difference in my life Figure out what was wrong with the system and how I could make a difference in everybody else's life Nothing changes if nothing changes Being in prison, I learned how to be a woman I learned how to walk a bit a little bit different went to cosmetology a program they offer Take seven habits linked how to kind of not be manipulative except for in a positive way. I Still struggle well, it's not easy struggle is real. I'm not some of the best women That I've ever come across I couldn't stand women Love them now love them it changed me because I allowed it to I Allowed it to change me for the good I allowed everything in there To come into my heart and anything negative. I chose to keep away from me We all have choices I try to be like if already but today I Will say it we all have choices Yep My plan is we've all had something to do with the criminal justice system Whether it be helping whether it be inside it sucks. We agree We all made a choice to be there We all make a choice to go back in there. I carry a key To the facility that locked me away in it. I Go back every Sunday to do W So that I can work out with the women That I grew to love as my family who watched me at my darkest go up and Become the women that I am today Who helped me become the women that I am today So everything across the board is sucks. I Don't wish it on anybody But what if you have to be there I do wish that you can open your heart and make that change So I leave you all with this. I don't know what's gonna come out right now Because I have so many things running through my mind right now But I do know That the community that we create Is the community that is going to spread so if nothing changes nothing changes Let's make that change on Okay, we are going to take another a very short five-minute intermission as we count mics and Figure out an arrangement for this panel So if this is your last chance to write down questions on these cards and then hand them to our excellent crew right over here And so that you can have ask questions to the storytellers live on TV So if your handwriting is awful, it will get caught live on air so Yep break for five minutes, and we'll see you soon. You are all right. We're going to get started with our with our panel Chris is going has your questions at the ready and All right, we're ready. We're ready to hear what everyone is curious about. Yeah, we're gonna go ahead and launch this Q&A session here with our first question This is a question for anybody who'd like to answer in the panel here This is what was the most helpful thing in your recovery and the least helpful don't all answer it once so for me What I found to be one of the big key factors for me was the support system I had when I came home I know a lot of My peers that came home that didn't have The support system like I had and it was a bigger struggle for them as far as stability Foundation the ability to I like to say to level up. How are you going to level up? How are you going to get to the next step in life? and For me, I would have never leveled up it with if it wasn't for the whole Support system that I had coming home From you know brothers neighbors other comedians whoever just anybody that was Support in my dream of you know turn it in around Was That was key for me It was so it was the most helpful and the least helpful Yeah, the most and the least helpful and if you'd like to share a little bit of advice about somebody who would like to engage in the process of You kind of being helpful through your journey then it's gonna be a good time I So I'm in second what Ricky was saying it was it was about the community. That was the biggest thing That was the most like helpful for me to and like I'd mentioned it a little bit when I was talking which was like so one of the biggest things was I was terrified of telling people what I had done and And like and my family was big about don't like just hide it Don't tell anyone don't let anyone know and then when I went to treatment. They're like they kept on asking about it and And and then like I'm like all right fine. I'm gonna let you know but it's on you For what what the consequences are but they were super supportive and they kept on asked like and they they kept on Getting me involved in groups and when I realized I could talk about what happened talk about what I've been through and The reaction wasn't oh my gosh. She's a monster. It was it was all right. That's Let's like like that's like where can we go from here? And it was support that that saved me right there and The least helpful Was the opposite is like don't talk about it hide everything go you can do this on your own Attitude that that yeah, that was the least helpful I Think for me the most helpful was Going back to prison Being able to go back inside the walls that held me and being able to walk back out was very humbling Again, I met a lot of individuals who became my family and I missed them and I couldn't be around them and I Struggled with that too. I heard my son cry when I left, but I also heard other people cry when I left on the other side So being able to go back and know that I have a purpose and a meaning and can be impactful to people who I Know what that pain feels like that's the biggest help that was in my recovery and my transition Knowing that I was fighting for something Not just myself not just my kids. There was something that was bigger than me And the least helpful social media Social media it's a love hate relationship but at sometimes I had to put it down and I had to really stay focused about what I was doing what my cause was and Developing my nonprofit to be able to go back in and give people a reason to to keep going For me, I guess they the most helpful thing for me was having Somebody believe in me and Like and they and not that they just every day were like hey, I believe in you But you know just they were there and they were like a rock that and More to me than anything. It's maybe want to do well As well Working, you know, I work two jobs and I've been doing it for a very long time and it just kept me busy to where I don't You know, I don't have time to Do all those other stupid things where you know idle hands, you know, you know all that but that's what really helped me The worst thing I Guess Or some of the haters, you know that just like That are you know judge or and everything else and it's you know, that's it can be for me It was you know, it could be like, you know, hey look here. I changed and You know what the hell why are you people still dogging me out? But you know, they're gonna have to remember I messed up for many many many years I can't expect people to believe in me overnight so and then in some respects that kind of helped me too Help me to just want to strive to be better to show everybody. Hey look, but it's really not for them. It's for me As if you had an opportunity to say something to your younger self about your experience What would you say? Listen and think about it and have patience Walk when you want to run Guess for me, I probably have to say all that macho mochismo all that gangbanger shit It don't it's it's not gonna mean anything at the end of the race Yeah, it would be be parent patient and And try not to do what your family's doing Now this one's specifically a question for Dave about your experience with picking up trash Did that kind of create some controversy for you is that something that you got you a lot of notoriety? something that you hesitated to do as you did it or so I started picking up trash and That little pamphlet to was talking about don't do it for recognition. Just do it to try and be of service to people So I would be like walking on the rec yard or I would be walking around the dorm And I'd see some assholes throw something on the ground and I just pick it up and throw it away Sometimes I'd be so mad and inside I would just be so hot I just want to bang their head in and I just keep repeating to myself be of service be of service be of service Over and over and over in my head and uh, and I just continued to do it And I would just try and stay humble and I would meditate it about it and Man, there were many many many days where I was so frustrated with doing it, but It really changed my way of thinking and that was pretty awesome And Brian, I don't know if you I never told Ryan I did this while I was there, but and I never told anybody I just did it, you know Because I wasn't doing it for recognition or for anybody else really I mean, yes, I was making a little bit of a cleaner place in the prison, but really I was doing it for me. I Did see him do it, but I just thought it was because he was stubborn Okay, moving on to my next question here. This is for the boss to my left What are some of your goals for your life now? What is your vision for your future? to save the world peace So some of my goals are you know, I think that he mentioned a lot of the biggest struggle that transitions happen Being released back into society is housing so my goal is to have a transition facility or apartment type thing for For people being released male and female My personal goals, I will be running for Miss Colorado again this year. I was 2021-2022 reigning Miss Colorado. I will run again this year Apparently you can't run twice in a row. I don't know. It's a rule. So So I'm gonna run that's a goal because one of my I never I've never done a pageant in my life I decided to do it because they told me I couldn't do it and It really was an amazing experience it I prison was my platform It really opened a lot of light to different things people were noticing it You know, the new director of prisons is is my right-hand man trying to figure out what his goals are You know, so just it opened doors that I don't believe Would have been open on their own without having a title, right? So I think that that's my goal is to to open some more doors and Bring some new light to different situations that that are in the dark right now I'm gonna go ahead and open that question up to the rest of the panel if anybody else I Would like to share some of their vision of their future Little little tidbit that I'm trying not to expose but we are I'm gonna let you guys in working on a TV pilot and It is a parody of Boulder County, Joe so Deb and I are working on a graphic novel base. It's a restorative justice graphic novel So that is a project that I'm working on that and I'm gonna say it right now So Deb has told me to it and I have to hold myself to it now because I'm gonna say it It's going to be done this year Speaking of this year my goal this year has been to pair down to just one job and Because literally before I came up here I was getting so frustrated with my both my jobs at bartend at one and I work in a restaurant in the other and it's just been I Mean I've been working five doubles a week for you know for a while and it's just been driving me that shit So then my goal this year is to get down to one job and to be a better dog dad Okay, our next question here goes to the comedy guy Everybody's dying to know how to book you and how much to pay you an hour We can talk about that But yeah, I definitely have a Source for you guys we can we can send proposals and all that kind of good stuff I'll give you give you guys the homie hookup so this is getting a little bit more into the Actual process of being in prison This talks about the they're being some kind of a job or some kind of employment through through prison Can you talk a little bit about the work that some of you might have done or might not have done? Was it BS or did it did it help you in your Process, okay, so you know it's always just blowing my mind how these people like as in their criminal careers, right? They don't want to work. I mean work is the last thing they want to do and they go to prison and all of a sudden That's all they want to do they want to work and they like it's like it just has always boggled me and I think it's kind of crazy I worked in The kitchen at the trustee camp and didn't help me. No, I mean monetarily. Yes And it you know in other ways we made hooch and did all kinds of stuff And so I mean as far as for me for working it was what can I get out of this? how much how much can I steal from the state and sell to make money and I know that's kind of wrong and but it's just like I Never understood the whole you know It's like you're basically a slave when you're in prison and I and some people I guess they do it because it gets them out of Their cell or whatever, but I was always once I got fired from the kitchen I was like I'm not working for you people ever again, and I never had a job I've had many jobs for the state of Texas. I I was a clerk for maintenance for truck drivers for I don't know for plenty of oh for the furniture factory And and why did why why do they have a furniture factory? All where do you think those courtrooms are made in Texas those elegant wood courtrooms? It's not like that's an everyday thing that people just design Like I designed that in In 2018 AutoCAD or like sorry it was it was 2018 when I did it It was 2014 AutoCAD that I was using at the time. So it's like I So and I didn't know how to use AutoCAD I had to teach myself how to do it and But it but it which was cool That was cool that I got the opportunity to do it Not many inmates get to like get a cool job where they get to sit in the AC and teach themselves AutoCAD though Like that's a big ask for a lot of people so but Employed is another like it's that's an interesting choice of words too because I was not paid for any of those things and You know you're not you're not getting any money for it, and I like and Like the Senate the second you get on a unit the first thing they do is they give you a housing assignment And then they give you a job Right away And unless you're like so infirm that you can't work and even then they might give you like There's special squads that pick up trash and that work out in the fields that are our medical squads for for people who like are That are injured and they they can still do give them work. Everyone is you you get a You get an inmate number and then when you get to unit you get your housing number and a job, which I think is crazy But you can manipulate the system in Texas to where you have a bunch of medical restrictions and don't work myself I Was I was in the kitchen for the first 90 days And then I was reassigned quickly to cosmetology. So cosmetology became my job I went to school there. I actually got my license, and I have a cosmetology license now to this day But that was my job, and then I also received good time for that so 45 days off my sentence and Then I went to culinary school. I got a degree in culinary school. I have an an intermediate degree in baking add flour and So I did a lot of schooling that was my job and then I got close enough to where I was going to be released They gave me a gate pass which I went to maintenance and I hated it It was terrible. I had to hang TVs and use tools and all those things but It taught me one thing that if I quit I was gonna go to the hole and Then I want to go there So today I use that everybody's like why why are you here sick? You're gonna get everybody sick I'm like in my head Institutionalized I'm like, I don't want to go to the hole. I'm not going to the hole But I'm like, hey, I'm showing up until you tell me to leave. I'll be here So it's it's beneficial also because we were forced to work and it taught me a little bit different worth work ethic Then I knew I Never worked in the system, but I think it was because I was a true true asshole in nature Anytime they approached me anytime that I was Asked anything by the officers. It was met with hostility anger things of that nature and it wasn't until I actually was Like my second DUI back home They Boulder County put me in while they asked me if I wanted to do mo crew and I was like I mean at this point in my life. Yeah, I guess like I've already been defeated. So might as well, you know and That was the first time that I was kind of presented with Any kind of work and it was just go out rake leaves come back in the facility things like that. It wasn't crazy You know, I mean it was hot, but other than that It wasn't wasn't anything Wasn't fun, you know Nothing right home about but yeah for the most part, I never I never wanted to I never You know, I was like, no you give me that mop or that broom. I'm gonna I'm gonna you give it to me I'm gonna break it over your face. That's what I would tell the guards, you know, like so they never gave me the opportunity to work Okay, I know that prison it's got a lot of problems very multi-faceted issue, especially when it comes to getting people back into society Is there any specific Thorn in the lion's paw that you think would really fix a lot of issues in the current prison system Education is key. We need to teach them something. They need to learn something. They need to do something They need to trade if we're not going to give them a Degree of some sort then let's give them a trade. Let's Be an electrician be a plumber be Something that obviously society does not want to partake in so you made a mistake. Here's your second chance We're gonna give you an education. We're gonna give you a trade we're gonna give you an opportunity to get back on your feet instead of coming home and Not knowing how to log into indeed and upload your resume and now you're screwed, you know Education is key. I believe I'll agree with him there education is key But it's it's two-part to because you've got a lot of people who they don't want the education They don't care, you know, and so I think coupled with that is good Psychological help for people so where they have a counselor that actually listens to them and actually cares and wants to work with them Because I think a lot of those people just they need somebody to listen to what they have to say and That could change a lot of things and maybe that would turn around and make them a little bit more receptive to education I agree So I think mental health is a huge game changer Not just in the inside because a lot of times they just push pills towards you and they just want to suppress that issue But when somebody does 18 years in prison and has no idea that an indeed exists Or what an iPhone is or even that there's not pagers anymore They how do you transition from that? Mentally over time you being put together it's fine You could be so put together well put together all these things were given to you education Fitness whatever it is that was given to you If you are standing in the middle of the street and have no idea which way to go Because your anxiety is so high because you don't know what to do And you've never had to do it because you went to prison when you were 18 years old and now you're 36 How do you cope with that? When you saw somebody be killed How do you cope with that when you're having night terrors and your wife is is is Coddling you And you were a man in a facility that touching was not okay Mental health is is super important. I think that that was the best thing that you could have said and for all of that I think the big part about about that is thinking about that thinking about mental health thinking about education You have to a lot of people don't think about that because they're like well you do the crime you do the time and It's that mentality that then anyone who then it's justification for anything it's justification for not caring about people it's justification for for killing people ultimately and So the for me the biggest thing that needs to be done is change the mentality from the start. It's It's not about the crime. It's not about it. Whatever someone got hurt And it's just like what you're saying clean as someone every there's lots of people who got hurt Even the person who did the hurting to start with they're everyone's hurt Who who got hurt? How can we help everyone and what does this mean and not? What how where do we need to focus blame on? One of the big to kind of just segue real quick is something that I tell a lot of people when that they say that 96% of people get out of prison 96% whether they killed somebody whether they did heinous crimes Whatever 96% get out so if people or us or whoever are not helping make that difference They could be your neighbor so if yeah, they had a victim But if we don't help change their mentality and change their life if they move next to you you could be the next victim So let's try to eliminate that. So that's that's that's deep What are some ways that you feel the community can do a better job for people who have chest been released from prison people who are institutionalized Be a little bit more receptive and not judgmental and just judge them for having a felony or you know Having an ax on their back because there's so many people like you know that or jobs or whatever That you have a felony you're out of there, you know, and they just that's all they see they don't see the person They see the crime Yeah, I agree with that I One of the reasons why I got into youth advocacy is because they had told me You know the kids are going to be receptive to you you come from that neighborhood you you live that life That's one of my things especially when I was going through the system it was like Everybody behind a desk was in my opinion, you know in my head was a Gwendolyn or You know a Patricia who's never Been to my side of the world who's never been to my block who's never seen what I've seen So how are you going to help me when you can't even relate to me? This isn't Michelle Pfeiffer and this isn't dangerous minds like You're not going to come you're not going to come in and flip the script like you know so Being able to sit down and comfortably have a conversation with somebody that's been in that boat that's been in that situation Yeah, that's that's golden right there. It's been being able to be relatable That's one of my biggest challenges in comedy is being relatable to the audience So if I can be relatable to my peer coming out of the system and and show The my peer the the opportunities or the which ways to go, you know That's that's key for me because that means a lot that means somebody that is gonna have Your best interest in mind because they've already been through it. What do they got to lose, you know, so Um, I Think just coming together as a community. I think they touched perfectly on everything, you know I go into the prisons and use fitness as as a foundation to build reports and develop these relationships with individuals because being at your lowest and Having somebody help you squat 400 pounds and trusting them to not let it drop on you Y'all have a different bond and a different trust because a lot of you know, correct me if I'm wrong a lot of us all of us have trust issues or we've been broken at some point in our life and we had nobody there to pick us back up and Developing some sort of Platform and foundation to be able to build up so that when that individual gets out Just being able to walk with them so that they don't just go from County or from the streets to County to prison To back to the streets. They have somebody a mentor Somebody who's already established their indeed resume uploading it and showing them. Hey, boom This is it and walking with them hand-in-hand as they walk out that door and let them know you're not alone So just being together staying together and and holding on to each other And honestly, I think that's the common thread with everyone you like all the groups you've heard here tonight Whether it's the recovery cafe. I'll say LC JP Longmont public media K foundation the RJ Chronicles shakedown podcast free entry-range initiative Am I missing anybody? No, so we get everyone that's been here tonight They like that's it's all about community in one way form or another They there's there's a community aspect of it and bringing people together and having that and that's it's fundamental to all of it and I think that's if you have that Coming out and you can get involved in that in some way whether it is with fitness Whether it is with recovery or that is getting work and wellness in some other way And that is a huge leg up leg up Okay, excellent So so one of the biggest themes tonight That we noticed was the decision to make a change The decision that enough's enough and it's time to move forward whatever that means in life I know you guys spoke a little bit about that But is there anything else that you would like to add anything else that you would like to? Embellish your story with because we're I guess we're just curious to hear more about your experience I know for me that when I got the last violation, I did four years and change on it for a technical violation So four set offs I didn't have any contact with my children at all and I know when I when I my thinking started changing it really started hitting me It's like you know if I don't change I'm just gonna spend the rest of my life here And so for me, I was just kind of like you know what I mean the hell with this I'm done with it. I can't do it anymore and with that came ownership You know, I've had some people ask me about things I've done in the past and I'm like yep, I did that and It's amazing how the ownership like was it big Relief for me. It's like took weight off my shoulders and Instead of being ashamed for things, you know, because I'm gonna you know I've done drugs and did this then that and the other because I was ashamed of what I was doing or ashamed what I did in the past but you know and with the ownership came just this huge sense of relief and That was for me. That was a big part of my change and the fact that I wanted to see my kids again So which I have a great relationship with all three still so My big aha moment was when I had to I was forced to take seven habits I was didn't get in trouble directly when I was in prison not even a negative cron I'm very happy. I got hairspray violation in the halfway house one time But anyways, so I In prison I Was approached often with officers making propositions and I Never took them up on physically on Anything but when it was ever brought to me about helping my children out. I was like absolutely Yes, I will talk to you on the sidelines if you're going to give my kids more Christmas presents absolutely I will and then I got bored and made it a game and so Decided I wanted to figure out how many times I can pull each officer and when I say pull I can compromise them I started to get Involved So much that people were noticing and I got told on or they were looking at me The warden came to me and he's like I can't prove this. I can't prove it at all He goes but you're gonna take seven habits and You're gonna have this privilege taken away And I was like you can't take my privilege away because you think something. It's not what you know It's what you can prove we all know the law And he just sat down and he's like Kaleena. I want you to hear me He said Benjamin Franklin said it best you can fool some for a little bit, but you can't fool all forever And I was like, what does that even mean at that time? When I started to take seven habits, I realized I Didn't want to be portrayed as a good person. I wanted to be a good person So that when people were sitting over here talking about me they could say or at my funeral or whatever I could say she was a good person The wholeheartedly she was a good person and then when I was alive people could say she was a good person Because she truly was That's when I made my change when I decided in my heart. I wanted to be that I Like I said, I had I had one of my moments When I was literally In a jail cell and I was supposed to be on stage I was like, no, I don't want to do this. I can't do this anymore and then that Quickly grew into a monster once I was able to finally leave the state Because I never really traveled like I said, I've only seen North Denver and You know a prison cell and my house and and oh, yeah chubbies and the chugas and all the All the amenities in in the area so that monster grew for me when I was able to leave the state and Found myself, you know on the beach, you know in my hotel room, you know You know eat and see food on the beach and Cheese steaks in Philadelphia and Chicago dogs in Chicago and I'm like, what am I doing like this is I've never experienced anything like this This is what life is supposed to be like So like I said once that fed into my monster of This life is not the life for me Yeah, I never kind of really looked back at The other side of the road it was like hey, I'm living the good life now. I'm not I'm done I'm done. I went from shitting in a cell to shitting on a jet now. So I'm good. Yeah For me it was really the big moment was just in that like In Plano City Jails, it's like you're in a plastic box and like I was the only one in the box and this is like not even 24 hours after the accident and I was Really realizing like it was like the whole Sitting there like thinking about everything that had led up to the to that moment and then just realizing like I they were like all these these ideas I had running around in my head We're just not going to happen anymore. And then I I had The thing that happened was is that I was like my purpose at that time was is that I'm going to Be a software developer I'm going to make a lot of money doing it That was the the purpose I had set for myself in life And that was not going to happen because like I'm going to get locked up And that's you're gonna can't be a software developer and lose any amount of time out out here, so I was like so that's that's gonna be gone and I had to like I'm just sitting there I'll cut just looking at the wall just trying to think this through And I'm like well I can either I can either sit here and I can either just kill myself and you know be done with it and give up or I can actually figure out something different to do actually find something to do with my life and accomplish something with it and So I'm like all right. I'm gonna do something else, but it's but what and The what took a long time that took that was going through treatment and going through all that But and it formed into the I didn't want anyone to go through what I went through and There's no one moment on that one, but it was but that I can definitely go back to that cell and see me sitting in there Playing that that film back again and just realizing I'm not going to get things that I had in my head And but eventually that was okay And it turned into I like this person Okay, so that is the end of my written questions, but I I have a question for you guys What motivated you to come and speak tonight? And now that we're toward the end of the session How did it make you feel coming in speaking about your experiences Ryan told me this is a paid gig I've got bad news for you And there was gonna be doughnuts, too I've got even more Let's see what we can do about the doughnuts No, all jokes aside, I love the community I love the area that I'm in I always say if it wasn't for the community of Longmont And if it wasn't for north Denver and me going back down there and starting the shows that I have down there I wouldn't be in the position that I'm in I run Longmont's longest running stand-up comedy show at the speakeasy last Friday's of the month So I've been in the community. I've done coat drives. I've done backpack drives. I've done everything I can possibly do For the community in my area because my kids play they go to school in the area they play in the area I just took a volunteer job at Longmont baseball league because they were short staffed To help them with coach pitch. So I love the community anytime. I can give back to the community Because without the community for me I obviously don't get paid as a comedian, but I can't express my art form I can't I'm not a painter. You know, I'm not I'm not an M I'm not a rapper, you know, I can't put my my stuff in and eternalize it on to something for you that goes onto the wall I need you here present with me So I can express my art form and if I don't have the community to do that Obviously, I don't have the ability to express my art form So community is everything to me Ryan was talking about this event to me We're talking about it on the phone and I jokingly Opened my mouth and inserted my foot and said, yeah, I'll speak And so that was the end of that right, so then Ryan was in town, I guess what a month over a month ago and he's like, hey, and I'm like, oh shit Right. And so I tried to play it off like oh, I can't you know, I can't afford it He's like you can stay at my place and I was like son of a So here I am but It's been it's really a lot of emotions and it's really nice to be able to give back a little bit and it's just it's Kind of good and bad for me because it's good for me because it feels good to give back But you know, I'm like I got this flood of emotions, you know tonight and like I literally just want to go to sleep I don't even know where Ryan came from, honestly I mean that's just honest I mean I kind of do the kind of down like I met him on social media And I get a lot of people who message me on a daily basis and half the time I'm not the one responding now But I'm like, who is this persistent gentleman? I was like, let me see and You know, we just kind of had a good conversation and explained a little bit about what he was doing Honestly was checked out probably don't really remember too much, but I know that It had struck with me when he had said community when he had said justice reform when he had talked about talking about lived experience And I was like, I'm in I don't even know I'm in that was a long time ago and How long ago? Six months. Yes a long time ago So then I get a call or a message and I'm like that's still going on Like that's still a thing. Let me put it in my my my thing So no, so I mean over time it, you know, I kind of forgot about it a little bit There's so much that that goes on within six months I live in Castle Rock so I have five boys and two jobs and I was like, how the hell am I gonna make this happen? I'm like, well, all right. It's a pizza night. I'm going Almost didn't come but I'm a firm believer in when you say something you do it so I'm here and Last year I was bit by a dog and fell backwards and it hurt my back very very bad I almost couldn't walk for a long time well for six months and During my recovery. I was super depressed. I didn't know what that looked like. I couldn't work out So my nonprofit my my coping mechanism to stay sober for almost now 12 years dwindled down and so He doesn't know this but I'm gonna say it now but his persistence and having hope of Some sort of criminal justice some sort of justice reform kept me going and I was like I don't know who this bald M ever is but I Kind of like him. I kind of like him. So Being here, this is my first event that I've done since Myrtle Beach competing internationally last year and so It's it's amazing. It brings joy. It's what I'm passionate about. It's what my purpose is So I guess the best way to describe how I feel is full Well, the reason that I'm doing this is actually because of someone else Because I actually came across the story that it initially she was supposed to be here and talk but the problem is is that her husband is still locked up and I came across that story and Talked to her about it and she is very concerned about her husband's safety and speaking out about it and That is what started this whole idea in my head and why I wanted to To talk so much about it is because I Yeah, I want I definitely want changes. I want I Want to help her and to help her husband and help everyone and To me the only way to get that known is to put, you know faces to the names and for people to hear the stories and Unfortunately, I'm here. I can help put that put this together thing. Thanks to public media, so why not and fortunately everyone here Came and and told these amazing stories and I'm incredibly grateful for all of it. So thank you Folks we are out of time for questions, but I just want to thank you all for joining us tonight It's been quite a special very emotional experience And it is just so wonderful to have you all in these seats and See the activist groups and see how committed and engaged and passionate people are about this topic It's a very important one. So thank you again