 Okay, so let's say that you are, good morning, good morning, let's say that you're out there dating or you're in a relationship and you want to figure out whether the guy that you're seeing or the men that you're going out with are good guys or whether they're just going to waste your time. How do you know? Today, I'm going to be talking about seven toxic men to avoid who will end up wasting your life and how to figure out who they are and what to do instead. My name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. Before we get started, if you're serious about getting into a relationship where you feel seen and loved and appreciated by a great man, make sure that you go to thegoddaskommunity.com and check out joining our community there for free. So let's talk about the different types of men that you should avoid. Who's the first one? Number one is the guy that I call him Peter Pan. He's got Peter Pan syndrome. And you know this guy because he never grows up. He's 35 plus years old. He still drinks like a fish or uses other heavy drugs. He can't seem to keep a job. He relies on you or somebody else for money. He blames everybody else other than himself for all of his problems. He has unrealistic goals and dreams of who he wants to be. Sometimes it changes pretty often. Like one day he wants to be somebody, an entrepreneur and the next day he wants to be a rock star. Next day he wants to be a professional tennis player or whatever. And he can't seem to keep his promises. That is Mr. Peter Pan. He's gone through his life and he's never had to grow up. And so he doesn't. And so number two is the Migtau guys. I don't know if you've heard about these guys but there's a big movement online with them called Migtau. Men going their own way. I like to call them Migturds. It's not that there's something, anything necessarily wrong with these guys. It's just that their attitude isn't something that you want to be around. And so these guys you can usually tell who they are because they tend to think that women are evil and that they're out to hurt men or yeah, they're out to hurt men. They think the system is out to get them. That women don't really bring anything good to relationships, that relationships only benefit women and relationships are doomed forever and there's nothing that they can do about it. They call, I call it, these people are black pill, right? They think that there's nothing that they can do to actually get into a good relationship. And they usually think that men are better off without women. And a lot of times women will come to these guys because it's like the broken bird syndrome where they think like, oh, you know, no, I'm going to prove to him that, you know, women really are good, you know, and there's nothing that you can really do to help them out because these guys are stuck in the past and they're living through their pain. They're hurt and they'll end up hurting you in order to make themselves feel better. So just stay away from them at all costs. So if you're here with us right now in the chat, make sure that you say hello and let us know where it is that you are watching this from right now. All right, so number three is the player. And so the player is smooth, he's charming, and he never settles down, right? He loves the game and you're one of many, many girls that he's been with and that he will be with and he'd be so perfect if he would just pick you, just pick you. If he could only see how much more amazing you are than all the other women, if you can only show him how perfect that you are together, but you already gave him what he wants and he's moving on to something new and shiny because he's a player. And so a lot of women kind of get caught up in these guys because he's good. He makes you feel really good and so most women go for guys that make them feel good and players, they are really good at making women feel good. And so that's what he does, that's what he's good at. And so you'll see him doing things that anytime it feels like it's too good to be true, you might want to take a second and like take a step back and look at what's going on and figure out what's going on and make sure that you're getting yourself into a good situation, have all the conversations that we talk about and some of these other live streams and in my programs and stuff to make sure that you're getting yourself into a good situation and you're not getting stuck with a player. So number four is the narcissist. And so this has become a huge thing on the internet where people are always talking about narcissists, I see it all the time. It's actually gotten out of control, a lot of people are talking about, it's like anything that a guy does that she doesn't like, he's a narcissist, right, and you don't want to go that far. Usually narcissists, they're confident, but not because they really believe it. He acts that way because he's hiding the fractured soul within himself and he's really just a scared little boy who's afraid of being wrong and bad and ugly and stupid. And so he puts on the shell of being like this really confident guy that really loves himself, but in reality, he's fractured inside. And so these men tend to be really charming, especially at first, but eventually it turns into an emotional rollercoaster from hell because he's constantly gaslighting you, he's making you question everything, he's pretending like he's always right. He constantly hogs all the conversations and he never takes responsibility for anything. And a lot of women end up getting caught up with guys like this, especially initially at first because he's so charming and he's so interesting, he seems like he's really confident and self-assured, but he's doing that because he's scared of somebody seeing the real him. And again, you're not going to be able to fix this guy, he's probably just going to end up gaslighting you and blaming you and attacking you and making you feel like it's your fault and you're wrong and you're the problem and all that kind of stuff. And so that is another person to stay away from. He's only going to waste your time. The next one is the emotionally unavailable man. And so maybe you've seen or experienced this one before. He's also another wounded bird, but he's got so much potential, right? If only you could nurse him back to health, he would be so perfect. But he doesn't want to get any better because you're helping him get his needs met, right? Hopefully you're enabling him, which is preventing him from having the motivation to heal himself and be the wonderful man that you see him as potentially being. And again, a lot of women get kind of sucked into this because they're nurturing, feminine side comes out and they're like, oh, I want to come over and really help this guy and fix all of his problems and heal him and he'd be so great, right? And you see his potential and you fall in love with his potential, but he's not great because he's got these issues and he's not going to get through them if you're there. And if he does get through them while you're there, there's a good chance that he's going to leave anyway. And so what you want to do is just avoid this guy at all costs because he is emotionally unavailable and it's a legitimate problem. So the next guy that we're going to be talking about is the unsure guy. And this is the guy that's not sure if he wants a relationship, he's just, he doesn't want a relationship. He might not. He's confused. He doesn't know. He's like, I don't know whether I want a relationship. The craziest thing ever, right? He's not sure whether he wants a relationship or not. Doesn't know what he wants. He's confused, but he's willing to string you along for months, years or even decades without being serious because even though he might act like he's being serious, right? So he might treat you like he's your boyfriend, like you're going somewhere, like it's evolving and progressing into this relationship that you want to have, but he doesn't see it that way in his mind and because he doesn't see it that way in his mind, things could break apart and get destroyed and go away any moment and usually they do. And usually he won't end up stepping up unless you leave and sometimes even then he won't. And what you don't realize is he's just, again, he's getting all of his needs met without taking into account your needs, right? And you're not taking into account your needs either because you're like, well, he's not really sure and so I want to give him some space and give him some time, but that's not going to help him out at all because he knows deep inside what it is that he wants, but he's got something that's going on in his mind or his emotions that's preventing him from being okay with doing that. So you end up stuck in this situation for a long time until you have enough of your friends either tell you that he's using you, he moves on to someone else or you just come to your senses that this really just isn't working out for you and you need to do something else. And so number seven is the married guy and it's fascinating because in our community we've had so many women come in and they're talking about this married guy that they're trying to get with, right? They met a married guy online or they met a married guy in person or they met a married guy and they're trying to figure out what they should do with them and it's like, you don't do anything with him. He's married. He's not available for you, right? If you're just looking to hook up and have fun, I don't condone it, especially with a married man, but that's your own business. Just realize that you're always going to be the other woman. So he's married, but he's not going to get, or maybe he says that he's going to get rid of his wife soon, but he's not. He's not really. He's in the process of leaving her, but he hasn't. It's probably not true. It's possible, but even if it is true, you want him to get that and figure that out before you get involved with him because there's a whole rollercoaster of emotional stuff that's going to happen through that that you don't want to be a part of. And there's a very high probability chance that he's going to go back to his ex after he leaves her because he has this long history with her. Sometimes he has kids with her. There's a lot going on there and there's a lot more with her than there is with you. There's actually a woman in our community that ran into this situation recently because this guy was leaving his wife, right? And so they get involved. They've been involved for months. All of a sudden he ends up going back to his wife because they have so much history together. They have so much going on together and that's what ends up happening. And he needs time. If he ends up leaving his wife, he needs time to heal before he's even ready to date again and he might end up going back. And so you need to let go of him and let go of that and not deal with that until he's healed and figured things out and he's ready for a real relationship. Doesn't matter how great he seems like he is. Just don't do it. Don't do it. All right. So those are the different. Wow, I went through them already, huh? That was a quick one. 15 minutes. Cool. So the seven are again Peter Pan, Meg Turds, the player, the narcissist, emotionally unavailable guy, the unsure guy, and the married guy. Just leave those guys alone. You want to be with a man who's easy to be with, who's available, who's into you, who will support you, who has stepped up into his masculine side, who's responsible. Those are the types of men that you want to be with. And if you can, focus on being with a guy who's growing, who's growth oriented, who's focused on growing and becoming a better version of himself. Those are the best type of people to be in relationships with because they grow and evolve and they try new things and they do different things and they work on themselves so that you can have a better relationship with each other because he wants a better relationship with you. He's not just coasting through life, checking things out and doing whatever happens to show up. And so a lot of women come to me and they're like, well, how do I find these men, right? Or all the men I date are these or whatever. And the point is that if there's a lot of men out there, right? There's just tons and tons and tons of men. Most men, just like most women, don't really have it together. Most people in general don't really have it together. Most people are needy. Most people are insecure. Most people have issues. And there's nothing particularly wrong with that. The more that you work on yourself and the more that you grow and develop yourself, which is one of the first focuses that you should have, is growing and developing yourself into a better version of yourself where you aren't feeling insecure and needy all the time, where you're empowering yourself through, in my opinion, the best way to do this is through abundance. So that when you go out there and two high quality people meet each other and you're like, you see each other and you talk to each other, it's an instant connection, right? Whereas if you're coming from a space of being needy and insecure and you've got all this baggage and all these issues that you haven't really dealt with and you have emotional problems and you've got all this stuff, right? And you come and you start meeting these high quality people, they're going to look at you and be like, you're great, but you've got these kinds of issues. You've got these red flags that are going on. And so they're not going to want to be in that relationship with you. And so you need to make sure that if you want to attract a really great guy, that you take care of whatever issues you have, right? We all have issues. We all have a pass. We all have baggage. We all have things that went on in our lives that we are hurt from, that we had challenges that we've tried to go through, that things that we're dealing with right now, that we have challenges that we're going through. And it's important to emotionally prepare yourself and take care of things that are going on so that you can get into a really great and healthy relationship. So that was the seven men to avoid. Next, we're going to get into a question and answer if you have any questions about the stuff that we just talked about. Or if you have any questions about your situation or whatever, just go ahead and post that in the chat. And before I go over to the chat and look at it, just if you're serious about getting into a committed, lasting relationship with a great quality guy, make sure that you head over to thegoddaskommunity.com and check out joining our community for free there, where you can get a lot of help in your situation. You can join a support group of thousands of women and get help from a world-class coach and do a whole bunch of other things. And you can go check out joining our community there for free. All right. So let's go through some of the questions that we have here. What do we got? I didn't turn the questions on here. All right. So questions are so everybody says good morning, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, depending on where you are. It's actually, I'm in Europe right now. So it's 5 p.m. where I am watching from Djibouti. I've been there. Angela, nice to meet you all over. Kibula says, I take all your words. Thanks. You're welcome. Sophia says, I'm in a long distance relationship. Okay. Kelly says, I encountered a narc and narcissist and honestly it's sad. I felt bad and I think that's what kept me there. And also my self-worth wasn't strong enough at the time. Yeah. That can definitely be a serious problem. Diane says, been there, done all that really hard. I'm widowed 65 and it seems, and it's open season for guys in their 40s. Judy says, divorcing a narcissist. Thank God I'm celebrating. Yeah. Yeah. Narcissists are problems. Paula says, what's gaslighting? Gaslighting is emotional abuse. Basically it's a way of twisting your perception of reality around so that you start confusing what's going on. You're not sure of yourself anymore. You start thinking you're the problem. You start questioning yourself. You start questioning your own value. You start questioning your own life because a person is emotionally manipulating you through, usually through their words. Yeah. Judy says, gaslighting is denying someone's reality, making someone feel like they're crazy. Yep. Hello, hello. Abigail says, my boyfriend too don't know what he want and I don't know what to do. How long you guys been together? How long you been together Abigail? So Nebulous says, if you're interested in someone who is married, you should take a look in the mirror why you're taking up with an unavailable or unfaithful person. Do some work on yourself, value your time. I agree. Sissy says, hi I almost missed this. Good morning. Good morning. Portland Girl says, hello Matthew watching from London. You're looking gorgeous today. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for sharing your wisdom. You're welcome. Thanks for the compliment. Metmonk says, you surely are looking good. Thank you. So Mae says, I met a lovely guy who's 16 years younger but is going through custody issues with his ex. Should I be understanding that he's not very available to me right now? Yes, that is exactly what you should be understanding and checking out because if he just got divorced and he's got all these custody issues that are going on and there's a lot of emotional stuff that's going on there, it kind of depends on him. What you should check is to see where he is. See how he feels about his ex. Is he still stuck on her? Is he not? Is he still super emotionally engaged in this? Probably. There's a good chance depending on how long they've been broken up with each other. Sherry says, interested in a guy I work with, how do you maneuver through that? Well, fortunately, you're a woman. So it's actually a lot easier for you to navigate through the workplace environment. But what you want to do is go the friendship route until you guys can get to a place or go somewhere where you're together and then you can start doing what I talk about in, there's a live stream that I did about Flirty questions to ask a man, go and watch that live stream and use that stuff on him after you guys end up going out together as friends. And you can turn that relationship from a friendship kind of relationship into, because if you go to Flirty in a workplace environment, I don't know where you live, but if you're in the United States and you go to Flirty, there's a good chance that you can get yourself into trouble. And so you want to avoid that as much as you possibly can. Joanna says, how can you tell if they're lying? It depends on what you're wondering about, whether they're lying or not. So if a guy is lying about something that's, most people lie, by the way. Most people lie about things in general, right? You, somebody comes up to you on the street and they ask you for money and you say you don't have any, but you've got some change in your pocket, right? You're lying about something. People lie so that they don't hurt somebody's feelings. There's a lot of different reasons that people lie, and it depends on what you're worried about them lying about and how big of a lie it would be and what the situation is. So you'd want to look for clues, one, in how they're kind of communicating with you when they're telling you whatever is going on. The first thing that you want to do is kind of listen to your intuition and kind of feel like, does this feel like there's something weird going on with what they're telling me, right? And that could be two things. It could either be one, that they're lying, or two, it could be something within yourself that you're afraid of because you have past emotional trauma that you haven't healed. And so you want to check in with that, like which one is it? Is it that I have issues and so I'm projecting my issues onto this person or is this person actually lying and they're fidgeting and I'm noticing that they're kind of like changing their gaze and they're trying to talk around a subject and they don't really want to talk about it very much, like what's going on there in that situation? And then you can also look for other clues and indications as to whether what they said was true or not. And you can also ask them later on and if somebody's lying, usually they'll forget what they said before as long as in terms of the details. And so you can kind of ask them what's going on again with it later or another day or something and just see what they say. Yeah, Judy says, why would anyone want a married person? Well, you know, there's something where a lot of people like they want things that are out of reach or hard to get. And a lot of times that can have to do with like your childhood, right? Like depending on how you are raised and how your relationship was to your father and was he unavailable all the time? And, you know, did you kind of get this imprint on you of a man that is unavailable? And so you're kind of trying to re-attract another person into your life that's similar to your father. And if you're doing that, then it can be a serious problem. But there's also other reasons why people do it. There's another thing where putting up boundaries and somebody having to get through those boundaries can be really attractive to certain people. Like a really big challenge. I know this guy that I met a couple of weeks ago and we were chatting and he was talking about how he only approaches women who are in relationships. And his favorite women to go after are women that are in relationships and trying to get them to cheat on their boyfriend. And I'm just like, like, oh my God, dude, like what is your problem, man? Like is this really something that's healthy for you or you're just fulfilling some kind of weird, dark kind of thing that you have going on that you haven't healed yet inside of yourself? So may it says, my mother always messed up with my relationship with my boyfriend. I feel bad everything she did to him. How can I handle this family issue? Well, it kind of depends on the family issue and how close you are to your family and do you live with your mom or do you not live with your mom? And it's one of those things like family, it's important to love family, but it's not necessarily important to include family in things if they're toxic. So if you have family members that treat people badly, it's like, hey, I love you to death, but I can't bring you around my boyfriend because you got issues. You're constantly trying to hurt him, you're lying to him or whatever it is that she does to him. And so sorry, unless you can get it together and stop being like this and start fixing whatever issues you have, I can't bring you around my boyfriend, right? And so it's just one of those things. Like you gotta figure it out and it depends and it's not necessary. Obviously you want to be able to bring your loved ones around your parents and your family members, but some family members have issues, obviously. Like I have a family, a whole family of issues. I have a whole family of people with serious issues. And so it's one of those things like you can't, if they're not good to have around people, sometimes you just can't have them around people. Kind of depends on the situation. But you can have a talk with her, you can have a talk with him, and if you're like, hey, this is really important that you meet my mom and that you guys have some kind of relationship, you can just warn him beforehand and set him down and be like, hey, this is what's gonna happen. If she starts doing this or that or this, make sure that you get out of that situation and you come tell me and we'll leave and we'll let her know that we're not gonna hang out around her until she fixes whatever issues that she has. And if she just can't help herself, then so be it. We can only spend so much time around her and you can always talk to your mom about it as well and just discuss it with her and let her know how much pain it brings to your life and how much you love her. But that you can't allow somebody that treats the people in your life, the important people in your life, that way if they wanna be with you, if they wanna be around you. Sophia says, how you know if they care about you and want to be with? Well, it depends on how long you guys have been seeing each other. I did a live stream yesterday about it's called Eight Things that men will only do if they really love you and you should go watch that live stream. Yeah, Ms. Kendra says boundaries. That's right, gotta have boundaries. Okay, so yeah, TW says boundaries. Yeah, it's your relationship, not your mother, and sure expectations are clear around your adult relationship. Yeah, just make sure that you have boundaries and everybody's clear and you're communicating. If you're not communicating, it's a problem but if you're communicating, it's like, hey, this is what is okay. This is acceptable. This is not acceptable. This is what I want. And it's the same thing, even when you're setting boundaries with loved ones, you can do it the same way, right? And you wanna do it the same way because it's human psychology, right? You tell them that you want, if you're talking to your mom, you're like, look, I want you to have a relationship with my boyfriend. I want to have a better relationship with you. I love you. I care about you. I wanna have you in my life. And at the same time, I can't deal with you doing this. Like, it's just not okay. It's a problem for us. And if you act like that, I'm not gonna have you around my boyfriend. Is it possible that you can spend some time around him and not bring up X, Y, or Z or whatever it is that she's doing and ask her that? And if she agrees to it, then that's great. And if she doesn't, then you know where she stands. So Rafila says, how do you know if a man cares about you? Like I said, the live stream yesterday that I did tells you everything about that. That's how you know. Go watch that live stream I did yesterday. I met someone we got intimate. Sissy says, however, he keep texting me every day and making time and planning next dates, I've been dating others, no sex. Should I stay with no expectations with this new guy? Should I always stay with no expectations with everybody all the time? Expectations ruin everything, right? And the more you can let go of your expectations and create kind of this free space, the more that people will surprise you in good ways. And the more you have expectations around what should happen or what's going to happen, the more people will end up disappointing you in unexpected ways all the time. And so what you want to do is you want to let go of your expectations and you want to continue dating other people and you just want to continue doing the things that we've talked about in all these live streams and in my programs and the stuff that we talk about and just allow what happens to happen and allow him to step up and do all the things that you want him to do. And over time he will show his true colors to you and whether he's the right guy for you or not. And I mean, it sounds like you're on the right track and that you're doing everything well and yeah, absolutely don't have expectations. Don't have expectations because people will let down those expectations and it's better to have standards and it's better to have boundaries than it is to have expectations. Expectations make you feel bad. Boundaries and standards make you feel good and make you make it so that people step up and raise themselves up to those boundaries and those standards that you have. And that's what you want to have. You want to have standards and boundaries, not expectations. So TW says, broke up with a guy I was dating for six months, did no contact and he reached out after 35 days. It's amazing how that happens, right? Go no contact. And next thing you know, he's reaching out. I have then contacted him and made small chat and he has responded to my texts immediately. Now what? Now what is that you guys need to meet up with no expectations of anything and make sure that you don't end up sleeping with him? I have a full program on this. It's called relationship. Restart your relationship. And go check it out if you're interested. Sada says, what about if your partner puts blanket between me and him on bed? What about it? So he puts a blanket between you two on the bed. Maybe he needs some space. Maybe he's like, yeah, I roll over. I roll in the middle of the night, I roll over and I land on people. And so I'm putting this blanket here to make sure that I don't roll over and land on you. Or maybe he's saying, hey, I need some space and I don't want you, you know, cuddling up on me because then I can't get good sleep at night. And it's really important that I get good sleep at night. So it kind of depends on, there could mean a lot of different things. Give me a lot of different things. So Bridget says, kindly guide me. Guide on my query, please. Is, did you, did you have a query? Query. Oh, I skipped it. I see. Okay. Bridget says, what should my friend do? You should get her on these live streams so that she can ask questions herself. That's what your friend should do. Her husband has gotten involved with another woman. Okay. And is asking her for a divorce. She still loves him and wants him to stay. She can't get over him. Advice for her, please. Well, here's the deal. Okay. Like, yeah. So she still loves him, but it takes two people in order to be in a relationship that works. And so if he is choosing to leave her for another woman, then she needs to let go of that because it's going to happen. No matter what that's going to happen. She's, he's going to leave her for another woman. That's the current situation. She needs to face reality, which is that her husband is leaving her for another woman. And she needs to build herself up. She needs to work on her self-esteem. She needs to heal. She needs to go no contact with him. And she needs to work on herself and make sure that she's coming whenever, if they end up, because what's probably going to happen with her husband is that her husband is going to, here's what's probably happening. And I've seen this time and time and time again, is the guy is feeling like things have fizzled out, obviously. And so he's felt attraction to another woman. And your friend is grasping and trying to work things out and fighting him on it and probably arguing with him and doing all these really needy and desperate things, trying to get him back. She's probably trying to convince him logically that they should stay together. She's probably trying to do all kinds of things right now, which she doesn't realize, but all those things are actually driving him further and further away from her. And what she needs to do is stop doing all of those things, accept reality, accept his choice, let him go and start working on and building herself back up. And if when she heals and works through her own issues and starts building herself back up, if he comes back, which there's a high probability chance that he will, because he's having this kind of rebound, it's not even a rebound because they haven't broken up, but it's this kind of cheating, like going with some other woman because he's not feeling it anymore thing. And, you know, which is a huge red flag, by the way. But he's going out and doing that right now. Things are probably really good with her because it's in contrast with how things are going with your friend right now, which is probably pretty horrible. And so he's focusing on all the good things with her, but ultimately, when your friend pulls herself from the equation and lets go, what's going to happen is all kinds of new things are going to go on in his mind. One is that the relationship to this other woman is going to shift. And who knows what that's going to end up looking like. He might start realizing that she's not everything that he thought she was. And then the relationship with her is going to change because all of a sudden, she's going from this weak and needy place to this place of being powerful and strong and having value, which is going to make him start feeling things again for her. And so what happens a lot in these situations is if she can get herself together and manage to use some self-control and pull herself away from the situation, it's very likely that he's going to, after some time, he's going to get over this other girl that he's been seeing and try to come back to her. And if he does that and she's back in a place of power, then she can decide whether she wants him back in her life, which hopefully she doesn't, or whether she wants to continue with the divorce, which hopefully she does and move on with her life, which is what she really should be doing here. And Nebulous says, yeah, keeping a high-value woman don't get into being his counselor through his problems. Okay. Oh yeah, I skipped that part. Okay, so that's where we were. So where are we? Gloria says, social media has caused a lot of relationship dysfunction. It's hard enough trying to date on a daily to know someone. It takes time for love. Everyone wants to fall in love. Yeah, I mean, it's social media hasn't caused relationship dysfunction. It's only amplified the relationship dysfunction that was already there. So there's already a lot of relationship dysfunction. And what social media did was it allowed people to start doing all kinds of crazy things that they normally wouldn't do, right? So for a lot of women, for instance, all of a sudden a lot of women are now seeking lots and lots and lots of attention from random dudes all over the internet because they can, because they can post a picture of themselves half naked on the internet. And all of a sudden, all kinds of guys will be liking it, right? And with guys, what's ended up happening is a lot of guys are now opening up their realm of what kind of women that they can sleep with and date and connect with because there's kind of this new kind of realm of where they can, and they're getting their attention pulled away because there's all this like porn and all kinds of other stuff on the internet that is sucking their attention away and all these hot Instagram models and all these other things where normally they would be connecting with a woman that's in front of them who's a little bit more in their league because that's somebody that they actually are emotionally connecting to instead of wasting all their... So there's all kinds of things going on and it's not the cause of social media. Social media has just amplified it in a lot of ways. So I totally ran off on a tangent there. So Metmonk says, are you traveling in Europe to make talk shows? No, I don't do the normal publicity stuff. I try to stay away from most of that kind of stuff for the most part. No, I'm just traveling through Europe because I like Europe and I'm going to be going... I'm going to Romania in about a week and a half and then I'm going to Spain and then I'm going to Italy and so I'm going to be checking all those places out because I haven't been to any of them. Well, I've been to Italy anyway. So Gloria says, romance is exciting but takes work. You have to be on the same page. Fantasy is just that. And Nebulous says, letting go of expectations and being present and joyful in the moments you have is a game changer. I've witnessed it. Yeah, absolutely. My love interest pursues me more and I'm much more at peace. Exactly. That is exactly what I'm talking about. That is exactly what I'm talking about. Sissy says, agree boundaries and standards. Excellent advice, Matt. You're welcome. Thanks for all you do, young brother. I'm your big brother. Okay. I'm your big brother. Three years older. I don't care. I'm still your big brother. Judy says, definitely don't sleep with anyone on a first date. Have more respect for yourself. Give it time. May says, what if you got intimate too soon? How do you come back from that and deal with them assuming it'll carry on that way? Well, what you want to do is just get clear on what it is that you want and how you want to go forward. I mean, getting intimate too soon isn't necessarily a bad thing, but what it does is it meant to have kind of this biological drive where they push towards something that they want. And when a guy, and that's kind of like the sexual drive that he has, and when you end up sleeping with a guy, a lot of times what happens is that it cuts that biological drive off, and so he's not seeing that as well. And the question is, you know, what's too soon? How does he feel about you? You know, what's the, especially early on, how are the power dynamics in the relationship when you get intimate with a guy? What ends up happening is there's a fluctuation in the power dynamics and he ends up getting more power and he ends up, a lot of times guys end up backing off because of that, because they have kind of this drop in attraction. And depending on how you interacted with him before and the way that he saw you before depends on how he'll end up proceeding after that point. And I mean, you just, you gotta wait and see and you gotta just make sure that you have all of your stuff and you know, figured out of where you want this to go, how you plan on going through the process to make sure that you facilitate you getting what it is that you want ultimately and making sure that you don't settle for anything less. And you just gotta make sure that you, if you want exclusivity, that you end up communicating that, the first time sleeping together isn't a big deal as long as you end up communicating what it is that you want. You don't set this long precedent of, hey, we're hooking up with each other and we're not exclusive with each other because then that makes it really difficult to go from, hey, we're just hooking up to, hey, we're exclusive or in a relationship or doing something that is much more meaningful to me. So Metmonk says, really nice advice and talk today. Thank you, you're welcome. Judy says, great explanation, Matt, about social media. Glory says, true, I agree. Judy says, Italy is amazing. Hope you enjoy your trip. I hope I enjoy my trip too. Well, that looks like all the questions for today. So thank you so much for everyone for being here. Again, if you're serious about getting into a committed lasting relationship with a guy, go check out thegoddaskommunity.com and consider joining our community there for free and you can check out all the amazing things that we offer as part of joining our community and it can really change your life. It's helped a lot of women. There's a lot of women that have gone from being really frustrated and stuck to having, being in great relationships because of the work that we've been doing with them and you can get your answers, your questions answered. You can be a part of a great support network. And so that is it. Thank you everybody for being here. It is great to see you again and I'm going to try to do a whole bunch of live streams here in the near future. So thank you and I will-