 J-E-L-L-O! The Jello Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harrison, his orchestra. The orchestra opens a program with I Am In A Dancing Mood from the picture This Will Make You Whistle. Only 16 more shopping days from now till Christmas. 16 busy days. Each day busier than the one before. 16 days with little time for planning or preparing your daily menus. So stock up on Jello right now. Because with Jello in your kitchen, you'll never be at a loss for a delicious, easily prepared dessert. You'll save time and trouble whenever you serve Jello, and its refreshing taste, its bright, cheerful color, are a happy prelude to Christmas time. Jello is always welcome, for Jello is always enjoyable with its fine, fresh fruit taste. More of the flavor of real ripe fruit. More skillfully blended. These are the reasons for Jello's added richness. No other gelatin dessert has Jello's extra-rich fruit flavor. So make sure you get the real thing. Insist on genuine Jello. That was I Am In A Dancing Mood, played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you that... Hey, Jack. Yeah? What's the matter with your eye? Nothing, why? Well, it looks kind of swollen and discolored. It's nothing. Go on and introduce me, will ya? This is in television. Okay. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you that genial fellow with the grey suit and the black eye, Jack Benny. Jello again, this is smiling Jack Benny coming to you in his usual good spirits and never felt better in his life. And tonight, folks... No kidding, Jack. What happened to your eye? Well, Don, if you must know, I was on my way over tonight in a great hurry and I drove into a filling station to get some gas and got into an argument with the attendant. I finally lost my temper and knocked him down. You did? Yeah. Then I got up and he knocked me down again. Well, this went on for about three minutes and then I took a terrific swing at him, hit him on the jaw and he went out like a light. Well, well, then what happened? I finally got away without having my windshield cleaned. Look, Don, look, all I wanted was a little gas. That's all. Is that asking too much? No, no, of course not. I didn't want my fenders manicured or any rose water in my radiator. I just wanted a little gas. There's nothing wrong with that. Of course, I'll admit, I shouldn't have lost my temper amid such glamorous surroundings. You know what these California gas stations are like. Oh, for heaven's sakes, what kind of a gas station was it? What kind? Don, have you ever seen the Taj Mahal by moonlight? With its marble pillars and sunken gardens? Yes. Well, just put three gas pumps in front of it and you've got it. Well, to tell the truth, I didn't mind so much when the man insisted on cleaning my windshield. But when he started to wash my face, that was going just a little bit. I don't blame you, Jack. You know, I must drop in there for gas some time if it's not swanky. By all means. And if you do, Don, be sure to ask for Oscar. He's the major delubrication. Meanwhile, Jack, you better have your eye attended to. It's getting worse. Oh, it'll go away. Hello, Jack. Do you look good? I do. Take a look at his eye, Mary. Oh, hello, Jack. Do you look bad? Mmm. What happened? Oh, nothing. I had an argument with a guy who was selling me something. That's all. You're some sap to buy a black eye. I didn't buy it. It was given to me. Yeah, I wouldn't have it for a gift. Don't be comical. Anyway, you ought to see the other guy. Say, I can always take care of myself. Well, then why do you let that Phil Harris bulldoze you all the time? That guy gets away with murder. Oh, no, he doesn't. After what I told him last week, he's plenty. Believe me, Don, there's not room on this program for both me and Phil Harris. Is there, Mary? I'm not talking till after Christmas. Oh. You know, Jack, Phil's late again today. I know it. And I'm just waiting for him to get here. That's all. And you'll hear the, well, just wait until he gets here. Now, don't do anything right, Jack. Don't worry. He won't. Oh, no. Here comes Phil now. And Kenny's with him. Oh, he's got Kenny that way, too. Yeah. And then I stuffed the pillow under my shirt and made off like I was fat. Oh, gee, that's good. You're funnier than Jack. Who isn't? Hello, Buck. Hmm. Hiya, Jack. Now, come here, Kenny. What's the idea of walking in here ten minutes late? Well, I was with Phil. Now, don't change the subject. I've had enough of your actions coming in here late every week. This is the first time. It's Phil. That's all we have. And furthermore, I don't like your attitude one bit. I've had enough of your actions coming in here late every week. This is the first time. It's Phil. And furthermore, I don't like your attitude one bit. Neglecting your work and running around with girls. I don't have any girl that's Phil. Well, cut it out. That's all. I'll leave him alone, Jack. He's a lovable dope. Yeah. Now, look, Kenny, you're just a kid. And you've got your whole life before you. You ought to watch your step. See, do you want to grow up to be like Phil Harris? Do I? Wow! Well, you can't do it on this program. Either straighten yourself out or I'll do it for you. Say, Jack, it's Phil's fault. No, him I'll. Listen, Mary, I'm just ignoring him. That hurts a lot more than a balling out, believe me. Well, he's standing there kidding with the orchestra. He doesn't look hurt. Say, a smile covers many a broken heart. Oh, Don, while you're over there, ask Mr. Harris to play the next number. Why don't you ask him yourself? I don't want to talk to him. First thing you know, we'll get into an argument. And after all, I've only got one good eye. And you want to keep that open? Yes. Phil's the type who'll take advantage of my condition. Tell him to play, Don. Say, Jack, while you're acting like a kid, come on, snap out of it. What's the matter with you, anyway? If I did anything wrong, I'm sorry. Let's shake hands and make up. Go on, Jack. Shake hands with him. Oh, no. It's probably a trick to break my arm. I wasn't born yesterday. Thought he'd catch me off my guard. Jack, that's ridiculous. Well, that's the dirtiest trick yet, the big bully. You better play, Phil. Okay. Imagine breaking a guy's arm when he can only see out of one eye. That's the most brutal thing. And look at him. Look at him now, picking up that stick. He's going to hit me. That's his baton. He's getting ready to leave the orchestra. Oh, I bet he's got a full of left and big strokes. That was I'm in love with a brand new baby played by Strangler Lewis and his orchestra. Which would have been rendered much more effectively if their leader got to bed nights. Mary, get a load of Phil pretending to be busy over that sheet of music. I bet he's got a phone number written on it someplace. I bet it's a good one. Yeah. He brags plenty. I've seen some of those girls he goes out with. They're not so hot. You said it. I saw him out with a girl last night and she wasn't a bit better looking than Loretta Young. He don't care who he goes out with as long as she splits the check. Hey, funny man, was that last crack meant for me? Well, was it? It wasn't meant for Paul Whiteman. So if the shoe fits, put it where it belongs. Don't tempt him, Jack. That's dope. He talks a great fight. Now, wait a minute, Jack. I've tried to be a regular fella, but you've gone a little too far. Enough is enough. Oh, you've had enough, huh? You see, Mary gives up the coward. That's what he is. Coward. Why, you swell-headed. You swell-headed punk. You swell-headed punk. I'll take care of you. Oh, you will, eh? Well, if I had the use of both of my eyes, I'd give you something to write home about. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bert Hampton takes fellas what's the matter with you? Ladies and gentlemen, when you order jello for your dessert, insist on genuine jello. Look for the big red letters on the box. And remember, it comes in six delicious flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that silly goo. Now, wait a minute. You're not talking to Kenny Baker, you know. I'll say you're not. You keep out of this. You hear? Don't worry, Kenny. I'll take care of him. You and who else? Ha! Top that one, big boy. Say, Mary, look at him standing there with a chip on his shoulder. Quiet. It might be muscle. Yeah, it would be just like him to hide muscle under his coat. The sneak. I'm so mad my ears are ringing. That's a phone. Oh. Hello? Who? It's for you, Mary. Plainfield calling. Plainfield? Yeah. Hello? Oh, hello, Mama. How did you happen to call? What? Oh, they're fighting as usual. See, everybody knows about me. No, don't worry about me. I'll be all right. Oh, it isn't that bad, Mama. I don't have to get under the piano. You see, Phil? No, Mama. Jack didn't break Phil's arm. Phil broke Jack's arm. I did not. I don't want to disappoint Mama. Yes. Yes, Mama's too bad about Jack's eye. Why? He'll laugh and ask. Mama said if you kept your mouth shut, your eye'd be open. Oh, she did, huh? Well, why don't she join this program? We're short of comedians. Say, uh, say, Jack. What? Kenny wants to sing you a song now and he's afraid to mention it. Well, let him sing. Why ask me? Nobody around here seems to worry much about what I think. Should I sing now? Yes, Kenny. Go ahead. Don't bother asking me. I'm just a stooge around here anyway. Oh, no, you're not, Jack. No. Oh, not much. Hmm. I'm surprised I'm allowed to talk. Sing, Kenny. Go ahead. Your pal Harris will cooperate with you. Go ahead, Kenny. Yes, anytime. In the middle of one of my jokes, if you want. No. Don't mind me. Nobody else does. Hmm. The next orcs to lead our hire is either going to be a gentleman or smaller than I am. Sing, Kenny. What are you waiting for? Sing. Oh, no. It was, uh, close to me sung by Kenny Baker, accompanied by the Jello Orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, we were supposed to continue our show, Buck Benny Rides Again. As you will remember last Sunday night, the play ended with Buck Benny having just cornered Cactus Face Elmer, the outlaw, in Eichmuller Saloon. But Cactus Face, using unfair tactics, like some other people I'm associated with, made good his escape. Meanwhile, up to this very moment, we have been unable to locate Cactus Face. So tonight, we will have to discontinue Buck Benny. Ah. It hurts me too, fellas. Kinda had my heart in that character. But anyway, not to disappoint our listeners altogether, tonight we are going to present an original society drama entitled Money Ain't Everything. Or, oh yeah, I will play the part of Jay Stuyveston's Snorer. An American billionaire who is cruising the Mediterranean on his luxurious yacht. I will be his daughter, I imagine. Don Wilson will play the captain of the boat. And as a special added attraction, he will not mention our product. Not at all, Jack. Not one single flavor. Shucks. Kenny Baker will play the part of a bogus print. And owing to the shortage of actors, our orchestra leader will play the part of Kenny's brother, who is also bogus. And I don't mean only in the play. What? This will go on immediately after the next number, which will be rendered by that Vine Street playboy and his yes man. Mary, take a quick look and see if Phil is burning up with it. Hope for Mr. Rhythm from the big broadcast of 1937. And now for our play Money Ain't Everything. The scene takes place on the palatial yacht of that well-known millionaire, Jay Stuyveston's Snorer. Which is cruising the peaceful Mediterranean with a gay party of moochers aboard. We now take you to the yacht Bad Check, which is bouncing all over the Mediterranean. Curtains. Music. Wave. Oh, Mrs. Vandeville. Mrs. Vandeville. Yes, Mrs. Snorer. You'll have to ask your little boy to put back the steering wheel. We've been going around in a circle for three days. How do you know? We just bumped into the back of the boat. Well, Mr. Snorer, look. We're heading straight for an iceberg. An iceberg? Where? Right ahead of you. That's Wilson and he's cold. Oh, Captain. Yes, Mr. Snorer? I wish you'd put a bottom in our swimming pool. I've lost three of my best friends. And by the way, have you seen my daughter? She's about someplace, sir. Well, I must find her. Bigging your pardon, sir. I must warn you about your daughter. Really? There are fortune hunters aboard and now that she's twice as rich as ever before, every day millions of people propose to her. Now, Captain, are you sure it's my daughter's impasse? Do you have it hard? Yes, and I hope the man she marries will be half as true as the extra-rich, true fruit flavor of my favorite dessert. Thank you, Captain. I'm glad you think as much of my daughter as you do of your job. Ah, here she comes now. Hello, Peter. That's Peter. Uh, daughter, uh... Tell me, daughter, where have you been? Up on the poop deck drinking pop. That's a pip. Who said it, pap? My child, you look worried tonight. What's on your mind? Uh, Prince Boris and Prince Morris have asked me to marry them, and I don't know which one to accept. You mean those bogus noblemen? Why, they're nothing but fortune hunters. Where are they now? Down in the coal bin playing shovel board. That's calling a spade a spade. Now, my dear child, why do you want to marry either one of those designing schemers? They're only after my money. That's not true. It is true. And you know that such a marriage cannot last. Oh, you say that every time I get married. And I'm always right. You've had enough rice thrown at you to fill the Hollywood bowl. Weddings, husbands, every year a new honeymoon. Why do you get married so often? I got a boyfriend in Niagara Falls. Well, one thing you can be sure of, young lady, I won't stand for either one of those fake princes. Pardon me, Mr. Schnurr. Yes? The storeways are complaining about the food. Well, tell them to throw it overboard. They did, and the sharks threw it back. What's the score? Oh, what, Pater, here come the two princesses now. Prince Boris. Madame Waselle. Prince Morris. Madame Waselle. Quiet, Prince. Oh, what, Pater, I want you to meet Boris Morris. They've been on your yacht for three months. Oh, so that's who they are. I saw them in the dining room so often, I thought they were the waiters. Give me back my tips. Fui on you. That goes for me, too. You I'm not worried about. Now your highness is, I understand that both of you bums are in love with my daughter. Is that right? Yes. And you want to marry my daughter? Yes. And if I was broke, would you still want to marry her? Yes. Just as I thought. I won't stand for this daughter. You can't marry either one of them. Oh, but I love him, father. Which one? The one in the middle. You need glasses. Where did he come from? The pup deck. Hmm. Well, let's get down to facts. Even if I should permit this marriage, your excellency, only one of you tramps can be her husband. I have an idea. We'll toss a coin to decide. Have you a coin, brother? No, have you? No. Then we'll fight a duel. Good. Daughter, leave the yacht. I want to watch. Leave the yacht, I say. Okay. Dog gone and I meant leave the room. Oh, captain. Captain, my daughter fell overboard. Picture her out of the water. What'll I use for bait? A mink colk, he'll snap at that. And I'm not kidding, fellow. Well, let's go on with the duel, gentlemen. Here are the pistols. Mine's okay. Hey, wait a minute. Mine isn't loaded. You're telling me. I'll stand back to back. Pistols in right hand. March 10 paces, turn and fire. Understand? Yes. All right. Ready? One, two, three, four. Mr. Snorah. Mr. Snorah. Yes? A cablegram for you, sir. A cablegram. Let's have it. Hmm. Hold everything. Hey, fellas, listen to this. This is from Frank Carson. What does it say? It says, dear buck, have just located Cactus Face Elmer. Return at once. I'm holding the posse until you get here. Well, what do you know about that? Come on, boys, let's go. We ain't got a minute to lose. Don't get the horses wet. This will continue next Sunday night. Will buck get Cactus Face? Will the horses get wet? Will Phil Harris get here on time? These and many more questions will be answered next Sunday night. Jack, are you screwy? Tune in next Sunday night and find out. Play field. For years, chocolate pudding has been one of the most popular desserts, but now it's more popular than ever. And all because of jello chocolate pudding, the new way to make that grand old-fashioned favorite. Jello chocolate pudding is smoother, creamier, more chocolaty. It's amazingly easy to make, too, and it brings you delicious, real homemade flavor. Just follow these simple directions. Mix the contents of a package of jello chocolate pudding with some milk in the top of your double boiler, and let it cook for about ten minutes when the mixture will be thick and luscious. Wait for it to cool and then serve your prized pudding in sherbet glasses. It's no trouble to make, and once you've tasted jello chocolate pudding, I know you'll agree that it's one of the swellest desserts you ever served. Your family and friends will tell you so, too. Get some jello chocolate pudding in the morning. It sells for the same low price as jello, and one package makes enough for six happy servings. If your grocer hasn't put jello chocolate pudding in stock yet, be sure he orders it for you. This is the last number of the tenth program in the new Jello series, and we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. And I'll be glad to see that as Mary and I will be glad to see all of our Phoenix, Arizona friends Tuesday night. Say, Mary, I'm giving a little party tonight at the Crocodile. You want to join me? Oh, sure, Jack. How about you, Don? Thanks, Jack. I'll be glad to. You, too, Kenny? Okay. Well, I guess that's about all. Oh, didn't you forget someone, Jack? Oh, I don't think so. No. Good night, folks. The tune, just one of those things, is from the production jubilee, the jello program starring Jack Benny has come to you from the NBC studios in Hollywood. This is the red network of the national broadcasting company.