 So there have been some questions recently about what's clingy behavior versus what's healthy behavior. And there's also kind of this double standard out there that if men use clingy behavior it's somehow romantic but a lot of times when women do it it's like seeing as some kind of personality flaw. So today I am going to set the record straight and we're gonna talk about five different things that many people consider clingy behavior that may actually mean that a woman is actually really healthy for you. And so hello, my name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. So let's get into it right now. Number one, so she gets upset when you take her for granted. So some men think that this is coming off as high maintenance or clingy because she doesn't want you to take her for granted and she gets upset and voices something about it or doesn't voice something about it either way she gets upset. And in reality what it means is that she respects herself and she knows that she's worth and deserves a great relationship. And the reality is if you don't get it together then and you don't start respecting her she'll probably end up leaving you for someone who will. That is if she respects herself enough that she knows that she deserves this and she doesn't want anything less than that. Oh by the way, if you're watching this live stream with us right now and you're here with us say hi and tell us where you are in the chat it's cool to see so many people from all over the world watching these live streams. So number two is she's forward about defining the relationship. So if a woman's smart she'll want to know what type of a situation she's getting herself into before she ends up getting into it. Most women in our community, a lot of women have come and talked to me about this and I see women all the time who don't say what kind of relationship they wanna get into and then next thing you know they end up really falling for a guy and they catch all these feelings and it's a casual relationship and then they end up regretting getting into the situation in the first place or letting things go without finding out what he was actually looking for. And so she'll wanna know what the relationship is gonna be about before she gets into it. This doesn't mean that she's trying to lock a man down it means that she doesn't wanna waste her time with someone who isn't in alignment with what it is that she wants. It means that she knows her value and she only lets herself get into a situation that is going to serve her long term. And sometimes women like I said sometimes women get burned by this. So number three is that she wants to spend a lot of time with you. So there's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with somebody and I get it. Sometimes we all need space. Some people need space. Men need space. Women need space. Everybody needs space. And if you do that shouldn't be a problem either. Just make sure that you're communicating it. Say something like I really like you and I wanna spend more time with you. It's just I feel like I need a day to myself. Just say something like that. And it's for most people if they're intelligent and they're strong and they respect you they will want to respect that and give you a day to yourself and you're communicating and it's all okay. So if somebody doesn't respect that it's definitely a problem. Sure, you might be a couple but you're also both individuals and it's healthy to wanna spend a lot of time together. And it's also healthy to respect the other person's need for space when they need it. So number four is she's affectionate and wants to touch you a lot. And I actually think most guys that I've talked to don't mind a lot of touching from women if it's at the right time. So if he's in the middle of a project or he's working on something that's really important sometimes he might feel like he doesn't want to be interrupted and he doesn't wanna have something else that's going on that's kind of in the middle of him trying to do this because as guys a lot of times we're kind of single focused and so we're focusing on something and we don't wanna be interrupted and sometimes touch in those moments can for some men, not all men but for some men can feel like a distraction and an interruption that they don't wanna have. And I just wanna say one other thing about this too there are some men who don't like touch a lot because of trauma or some kind of neglect from their past but that opens up things to other types of connection depending on what it is that he likes and depending on how willing he is to get vulnerable. So number five is she's interested in your life. Oh by the way, if you get what I'm talking about right now say I get it in the chat if you don't get what I'm talking about just ask a question and I will get to the questions here in just a minute. So, or if you have any questions about anything in your situation I'll get to them here in a minute. So number five is she's interested in your life and getting to know you a lot better. She's really interested in your life. And so there's a big difference between suffocating somebody and being interested in somebody and it's very important to know what the difference is and usually that difference actually has something to do with you inside, right? Like where you're coming from. Who am I being right now? What kind of a space am I coming from when I'm trying to connect with somebody? Am I coming from a space where I need some kind of connection and I'm grasping for it or am I coming from a space of genuine curiosity and of love and of just wanting to kind of share and experience with somebody? Those are vastly different things and they feel very, very different to a person. So when a woman is being genuinely curious about a guy that can be a big turn on as long as the guy isn't trying to hide something and I'm not just talking about like big things, right? Like he's cheating or he's seeing other people or something like that. It could be just small things about himself that he's trying to hide because he doesn't wanna talk about it because it doesn't make him feel very good. And so more than anything I think you need to stop and consider how something is making your partner feel more than anything else. If it's obviously turning them off stop for a second and ask yourself where you're coming from right now and that it might make him and wherever it is that you're coming from might be kind of pushing on him and making him feel a certain way. And so building a connection is a healthy thing not a clingy thing. So that's it for all the five. Number one is she gets upset when you take her for granted. Number two, she's forward about defining the relationship. Number three, she wants to spend a lot of time with you. Number four, she's very affectionate and wants to touch you a lot. And number five, she's interested in your life and wanting to get to know you better. So let's see if you have any questions make sure to ask them in the chat. I'm gonna be going into the chat. It's over here in just a second and we will see what everybody has to say. So hello, hello, hello, hello from London. Hello from UK. Finally on here. Yeah, thank you. Hello, Detroit, London, Santa Monica, more lots of UK people these days. Philly, hello, hello, hello, hello. Ooh, Iceland, nice. So Julie Tree says, Matt, should I block someone who just played on my feelings? I'm at a breaking point for real. Yeah, I mean, if you feel like somebody, here's when you should block somebody. Anytime where they are kind of reaching out to you a lot and you don't wanna talk to them, right? That's one time when you should block somebody. Another time is when you look at them and their name or you see their name or you think about them and that triggers you emotionally and you don't feel like you can deal with that, that's a great time to block them. Number three would be that you want to connect with somebody and you know that it's not healthy for you to connect with them or a long-term you don't want to connect with them or something like that, that's also a great time to block them. And so another thing I just wanna say is if you wanna get into a great relationship and you want my entire system that you can get for free, check out the foreverwomanformula.com and you can go check out my program there and that will help you a lot. So Madonna says, wash your hands. Gotta be washing, washing those hands. Everybody wash your hands, all right? It's what we're learning. It's what we're learning these days is learning how to wash, wash your hands. So Veronica says, how to nicely say to a guy that he is losing you because he is not giving you time. Well, if a guy isn't giving you time, it's a priority thing, right? So the time that you'd want to mention this, if you're talking to a guy, is for him to, is when he contacts you, right? You don't wanna contact a guy out of the blue and be like, hey, if you don't get it together, you're gonna lose me because you're not contacting me enough, right? Like you don't wanna do that. You just want to kind of pull your attention away. And when he talks to you, like number one, when he first starts talking to you, what you wanna do is you wanna reward him for that. Like I hear women all the time and look, I get it, right? If a guy isn't doing what you want him to do, you want him to know immediately, right? And so a guy contacts you and he's not doing what you want. So you're like, I'm attacking you, you know, I'll death to you, right? But when you do that to a guy, what ends up happening is he feels like he's being punished for contacting you and doing something that you do want him to do. And when he feels like that and he feels like anytime he contacts you, you might start attacking him. He's gonna feel like he doesn't wanna contact you at all. And so what you wanna do is wait until sometime into the conversation that you're having before you kind of mention something or talk about something. Or, you know, my suggestion actually for what you should do completely is I don't know if you're texting or calling. My guess is that you're probably texting is to keep your text messages and your calls very, very short. Let him know that you want to talk to him some more and hang out with him some more, but that you don't have time to sit around and chat and text and all that kind of stuff, right? And obviously if you're in a long distance, kind of a relationship, it's a different scenario there. But if you're in a scenario where you guys are meeting up and all that kind of stuff and he's not meeting up with you, what you wanna do is limit the amount of time that you're actually texting and calling and let him know that you wanna hang out. That way he actually feels like he has to schedule something in order to hang out with you. I mean, that's one of the best ways that you can do that. I hope that answered your question, Veronica. If not, let me know more about what it is that you're trying to get at with me here. So Nadia says, so in which way is this kind of woman good for a guy? This is awesome. I am just this way, but I get a reaction that tells me I am too needy. I am curious. Well, it depends, right? It depends on what's going on with the guy, right? So it is healthy. It's healthy in the terms of a relationship, right? And what you wanna notice is what's going on with the guy that you're connecting with. And is he like pulling away a whole bunch? And if he's pulling away a whole bunch or he's not appreciating or anything like that, for you, what you wanna do is make sure that you have a higher standard than that and make sure that you're valuing yourself and you know what you're worth, right? You can communicate to him what's going on with you and that you like him, that you wanna spend time with him but that you need the right things or whatever. I mean, it's one of those things too where it can be a fine line, right? Like if you just meet a guy and you're like trying to get to know him and all that kind of stuff, it's a little weird, right? Like if you just meet a guy, you might be a bit curious about him but you're not like over into him, right? And if you are like super overly into him and he feels that and you communicate that through your communication, he's gonna feel less attracted to you because he's like, why does she like me when she doesn't even really know me that well, right? And so you want to kind of develop things over time and move things forward over time but if over time, you're kind of getting these, like he thinks you're clinging kind of reactions, it might be one, it might be a sign that maybe you guys aren't right for each other, right? I get a lot of women sometimes that come to me and it's like, there's this one guy and he's hot and I wanna do all the right things for him but he might not actually be the right guy for you, right? You guys need to be compatible in terms of your values, you need to be compatible in terms of your lifestyles, you need to be able to look at each other and see that the two of you can kind of grow in the same direction with each other and if you're connecting with a guy and those things aren't happening, that's a big indication that he's not really the right guy for you, right? If you're talking to him and he thinks you're super needy and clingy, right? You should one, you should look at yourself and figure out where it is that you're coming from, like I talked about at the end of the video. If you're coming from a healthy place and you're connecting with him in this way, then the problem is probably him, it's probably something that's going on with him or your compatibility with him. If you're coming from a place where you definitely feel like you're needy and you're just like, oh, I gotta reach out and I gotta, you know, and you're feeling those kinds of things with him when you're connecting with him, then that's a good indication that you need to do some healing, you need to change your story, you need to change what you feel you're worthy of and what you should have in your life. Maybe you should find out how to connect with men in a better way if maybe it's been a long time or something's going on where you're not sure how to connect with men anymore. You should definitely get my program, the foreverwomanformula.com, definitely go and check that out and get the program there. So I hope that answered your question. So Gamma Beta says, thank you for these videos, you helped so many women. Well, you are welcome for these videos and I am so happy to help so many women. LeVon says, whoa, trying to hide, is this for men? Yes, I'm talking to men here, telling them what they need to be understanding about us women that are, not us women, but our community of women that we have going, you know what I'm talking about, you know what I'm talking about right now, you know what I'm talking about. But yeah, yeah. So anyway, Chris says, my ex just got in touch with me again, I know her, he, he, her. I know he, her. So Gamma Beta says, women should never waste time on someone that is not all in. Do not waste your time and respect yourself enough to walk away and find someone who honestly cares for you or live alone. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely one of those things. You want to find somebody that values you from the very beginning. If you're constantly chasing after somebody, if you're chasing after somebody from the beginning, if you're trying to make things happen from the beginning, if you're trying to make him value you from the very beginning, that is a huge red flag sign that you are in the wrong kind of situation from the very beginning. And you should be in a situation that's a lot healthier for you. Julie says, I'm like this and this guy I've been seeing for two months wants to take a step back. He wants to still hang out and get to know each other but not have the physical part of it. Was I friend zone? Yeah, I mean, it sounds like you've been friend zone and you should give him some space. If he's, I mean, you've been seeing for two months, he still wants to hang out. I mean, it's one of those things. I don't know what kind of a situation you were in beforehand with him, whether you guys were moving towards something, whether you were kind of an item or anything like that. And it depends on, like I said, you want to check in with yourself and figure out where it is that you're coming from. And if you're coming from a healthy place, then this might not be the right guy. If you're not coming from a healthy place, then it's something that you want to work on. And if you also need to know, how to make yourself valuable in terms of a man and feeling that you're valuable and knowing that you're valuable and being in this situation where you're communicating your value in the right way. Those are the most important things that you can do. Vidhi says, I have feelings for a married man and he does too. Should I move ahead? No. The answer to that one is no. You should get away from him immediately. Get away from him and don't deal with him anymore unless you want to have serious heartbreak. Celeste says, my husband wants a separation and doesn't know if you'll want to get back with me in the future. What should I do? Well, the first thing that you should do, Celeste, is you should figure out what it is that the problem is in your relationship, right? What is it that makes him want a separation? Cause that's a pretty big deal. And you should figure out what the problems are, what's been causing him to want this, what's been making him feel that way and then give him some space, let him cool down and work on yourself during that time. Focus primarily on yourself and building yourself up and creating powerful emotional states, making sure that you're in empowering mindsets and having empowering beliefs in yourself and make sure that you understand how to connect with him in a way that makes him feel appreciated and loved and not smothered and not like he wants to get away from you. And so those are the things that you need to do. You need to figure out what the problem was. You need to give him some space. You need to work on yourself and you need to make sure that you're learning about how to connect with him in a way that makes him wanna feel like he wants to be closer to you instead of wanting a separation and pulling away from you. And without more information about your situation, that's about all I can tell you right now. Julie Tree says, if I asked him nicely to stop being disrespectful to me and he blatantly keeps doing it, do I block him? Yes, yes, you block him in that situation. Marie says, what do you do when a guy clearly shows you he's interested but doesn't seem to ever get to the point of asking you out? He's shy enough that if pushed hard, he may walk. Well, it depends, right? So it depends on your situation. It depends on where you're seeing this guy, right? So if there's a guy and you see him a lot but he never asks you out, is this like a workplace thing? That's the first thing that I think when I think of you talking about this guy that you know who you see often but he's not asking you out. So if he's asking you out at work, you have to be very, very careful about that. And you have to make sure that you're getting yourself into a good situation because workplace romance can turn into a spiral downward. And it sounds right now like this guy isn't, it doesn't sound like this is really something that potentially might be something long-term if he's very scared and hesitant and shy and not asking you out but you know that he likes you and all that kind of stuff and he's at your workplace. I don't know, how do you know this guy? If it's not at your workplace, then Marie then let us know and tell us where it is that you're seeing this guy and we can talk a little bit more about the dynamics behind that. McKellis says, I had a guy talk to me today. Well, that is amazing. Sharon says, I have feelings for a guy who is in a bad relationship and I keep hooking up with him. How do I know if he wants more with me? Am I wasting my time? You're probably wasting your time and the guy that's with you right now is cheating on you or cheating on his girlfriend, right? Whoever he's in a relationship with, he's cheating on her right now. And so, are you wasting your time? Absolutely you're wasting your time because if this guy had honor and he was a man of his word, he would break up with the woman before he had any kind of relation with you. And so, if he's staying with this woman, then basically he's probably just using you to get his emotional needs met but he's staying in the situation with the woman that you're saying he has a bad relationship. Like, yeah, sometimes what people will do, men and women, so let's not hate on men here for this. Men and women will, if they're in a relationship, they will find somebody else to seek kind of the emotional support if they're having troubles or whatever and they haven't been able to figure them out. It's possible that he could end up leaving her. It's also possible that he might end up staying with her. And if he does end up leaving her and he does end up with you and you guys end up having problems like the problems he's having with this woman right now that he's with, then the likelihood is that he's going to find another person like you and start hooking up with her and you're gonna be in the situation that his current girlfriend is in right now except, you know, and he's gonna be cheating, right? So it's one of those things, people have patterns and you have to remember that people have patterns. And this guy that you're seeing right now, right now in his life, he's not in a good space. He's not in a space where he should be dating and or in a relationship with somebody that's honorable, that wants a great relationship, that wants commitment because he's way too willing to cheat on that with somebody else without being open and honest about it. And by the way, this happens all the time and I'm sorry that you're in that situation that sucks and my suggestion is that you get out of it, you stop seeing him, stop talking to him, if he contacts you and tells you he wants to hang out with you, tell him that you'd love to see him and love to hang out with him if you really like him and you wanna see if things go somewhere which I don't recommend, but if you do, my suggestion is that you tell him that you really like him and that you'd love to see him again but you're not gonna see him until he breaks up with his girlfriend and that's it. That is it. JAL says, what about when at first they are so into you, we enjoy each other's company, but then out BNB of the blue, they ghost you with no explanation, changing what he said, what he wanted? Well, there's a lot of things going on here JAL that don't necessarily make a lot of sense. The first one is that you guys are hanging out with each other and enjoying each other's company. You said that he ghosts you, but that he's changing what he said that he wanted. Like those two things don't really make sense together, right? So he's either ghosting you in which ghosting you means he's not talking to you at all anymore. He's disappeared, he's not talking to you. He doesn't wanna hang out with you. He's not seeing you. That's what ghosting is, right? You contact him, he doesn't respond. That's what it means to be ghosting. So it sounds like what's actually going on is that he's just changed what it is that he said that he wants. And what's going on in that situation is that that might not be, it might not be that he changed what he wants, but it might be that he doesn't want what he said that he wants with you for whatever reason. And I know that sounds horribly harsh, right? It sounds really bad, but guys, most guys want real relationships. Most of them, hands down by far, want real relationships. The problem is that a guy will meet you and you'll be talking and he's like, yeah, this is what I want, I want this. I want to get married and have kids and white picket fence and a little dog named Fluffy. And I wanna go jogging with you and hang out on the beach and all that kind of stuff, right? But then you guys are seeing each other and he's like, you know what? Let's just keep things casual between us, right? He's not saying that he's not looking for something like what he said before where he wanted to get married and have kids and all that kind of stuff. What he's saying is that you're not the one and that he just wants to hang out with you and you're gonna be his kind of thing on the side while he's looking for what he actually wants down the road, right? And that you're just gonna be this placeholder where he's gonna get his needs met until he meets that woman that he feels like is the one. And if you want him to feel like you're the one, you need to change what it is that you're doing immediately. And the best way to do that is to go to theforeverwomanformula.com. Watch the video there and pick up a free copy of my program, The Forever Woman. And then you will learn all the strategies that you need to get to have to be the woman that he wants to have forever in his life. And if he decides that you're not that, then you'll be set up and ready to go to find somebody else that actually does want to have you in your life. Jail says, feeling used. That's exactly what's going on as you're being used right now. Solvee says, you have a really good voice to listen to. Well, I appreciate that. I have this commanding voice. So thank you so much. Is that over the top? Might be over the top. Viti says, this married man has now asked to hold on for some time. His wife have caught our messages. When I asked if he need distance, he said not. Yeah, you need to stop messing around with married men. That's what you need to do immediately. Stop messing around with married men. Serif says, how do you know when they're into you? Well, usually how you know that they're into you is that they pursue you, they chase you, they invest in you. It depends on what your situation is, right? Are you asking how do you know when they're into you when you guys haven't gone on a date yet? Or are you asking how do you know that they're into you when you're out dating and you've been seeing each other and all that kind of stuff? And I get women all the time who will come to me and they'll be like, how do I know if this guy really likes me? He keeps driving an hour and a half to come and pick me up and take me out on this date. And then we go on this date and he pays for everything. But he never tries to kiss me or make any moves on me. And it's like, this guy is investing in you. He's driving to come see you. He's pursuing you. He's doing all these things. He's totally into you, right? If a guy's doing those things, just assume that he's totally into you. If a guy's not doing those things, then you're in a different kind of situation. If you're talking about like a scenario where you know a guy and you've talked to him, but he's not kind of making any moves or anything like that, that's a completely different scenario. All right, so let's see what do we have? What do we have here all? All right, so Irene says, when a guy says that he's not close to ready for a relationship with anyone, does it mean he meant for now he's not ready? Yes, that's what it means. And so what you should do is ask him, hey ma'am, when do you think you're gonna be ready for a relationship? And usually guys have an idea in their head about when they're gonna be ready for a relationship, but what you need to do is start seeing other people immediately, right? If a guy tells you that he's not ready and you like him, you need to go start seeing other people and tell him that when he's ready to let you know, and that at that point you'll, if you're still single, then maybe you guys can talk about it again, but you don't wanna sit around and wait for some dude to be ready, right? That's, you do not want to do that, but you do wanna find out why he's not ready and how long it's gonna be until he is ready. And the best way to do that is to actually ask him, because men know usually he'll tell you why he's not ready. He'll say, I have these financial issues and I'm working on these big things at work and it's really important to me. And I'll be ready in probably three months or six months or two years or five years or whatever, right? And then when he tells you that, my suggestion is you say, okay, well, let me know when you're ready. And if I'm still single at that point, then maybe we can talk about it and find out if this is something that we wanna do at that point. But my suggestion is you don't sit around and wait. Tana says, I've been in a long distance relationship for 20 months. It's a long time to be in a long distance relationship. We talked daily, nightly for hours. He's gotten cold as responsive, began to ignore my good night, good days. He's cordial, but I'm not feeling the closeness we once had for months. This has been sudden. Yeah, you need to pull back and give him some space and create some scarcity is what you need to do. If you want, you can get my program. It's called Long Distance Allure. Go check that out. It's at my website. If you go to commitmentconnection.com, you can get that program. And it's all about how to make sure that you're having a successful long distance relationship. You don't want to be contacting him twice a day, every day, all the time. That is not what you wanna do. At all. Celeste says, yes, thank you so much, Matt. You're welcome. Irene says, do introvert guys tend to be afraid of relationships since they enjoy freedom? No, introvert guys do not tend to be afraid of relationships. What they tend to be afraid of is somebody that is constantly smothering them with talking and being around and trying to bring all this closeness to them when they need space. And so you have to give introvert guys space usually unless they're just constantly pursuing you. And so that's what you wanna look at when you're looking at that. Kaylee says, Tanya, Edward, same situation here. Oh, you're talking to somebody. Da, da, da, ba-dee, ba-dee, ba-dee. Lord Dez says, how can you trust a man you meet only online? Though it seems to be not a scammer should meet up in person first before saying yes to him as a girlfriend? Yes, absolutely. You should be meeting up with him in person as quickly as you can. That's where the magic happens. The magic happens in the meetup. And so if you're in a situation and you're talking to a guy online, a faster way to do things would be to start doing video chats with people and making sure that they're a real person, talking to him that way, making sure you guys vibe when you're actually having conversations with them. But you wanna make sure that you end up meeting up together. You don't wanna drag on an online thing forever. If he's asking you to be his girlfriend and you guys haven't met yet, that's a huge red flag. You should be very concerned about that. And you absolutely should not be his girlfriend without meeting up with him or any kind of other arrangement like that at all. You should be definitely meeting up with him. And that's what you should be focusing on. Random Facebook user says, so is it never possible to become the one if they say they just want to take it slow at first? That wanting to take it slow at first has nothing to do with being the one, okay? So if he says, I wanna take it slow, that doesn't mean that he doesn't see you as the one. What it means is that he wants to take it slow because he's got some things where he's, maybe he's dealt with things in the past where he's gotten really excited. And so he takes things really fast. And the next thing you know, things blow up in his face because he ended up with somebody that he doesn't really like. And so now he wants to take it slow and he wants to go through the process to make sure that you're somebody that he actually wants to be with. And so that does not at all indicate that he doesn't want, he doesn't think you're the one or that you're not gonna have a serious committed relationship with him. It only means that he wants to take it slow. And I wouldn't take it, I wouldn't make it mean anything else other than that. Let's see. Sharon said, how do I know who is wanting to pursue me and who just wants to be friends with benefits? Well, you talk to them, right? You talk to them and you go slow. That's how you know. Is you ask them what they're looking for and what they're looking to get, what they're trying to, why they're dating, all that kind of stuff, right? You have a conversation with them about that. And if they avoid the topic, you know that they're looking to be friend with benefits with you. If they have a conversation with you about it and they talk to you about it, then they'll usually tell you what they actually want, right? And if it's, and sometimes guys are super honest about it and sometimes guys will be super honest and tell you, I'm just looking for something casual. I'm just looking for some fun. I'm just looking for, you know, whatever. If you hear the, I'm just looking for, I'm just looking for, that usually means that he's not looking for anything other than friend with benefits. If he says otherwise, he'll say something like, you know, I'm looking, I don't know. I'd like to, you know, just hang out and make friends. And if, you know, something more happens, you know, that's cool. I'm okay with that. You know, that's kind of a yellow flag, right? So you definitely want to go slow with that guy, you know, and you want him wait until he's, you know, one, you don't want to hook up with any guy at all without having the exclusivity talk. So that's that. I hope you, I hope that answered your question there. So Marie says, I meet this man at church. The history part is that at one time we were flirting and showing each other attention and a mutual friend of ours sent him running through lies. Oh, send him running through lies. So your mutual friend was lying about you and it freaked him out and he ran off because of it. And so, yeah, I mean, it's one of those things where, you know, there's only so much you can really do about it. You know, you can hint at it with him. You can let him know that you, you know, like to like him to take you out sometime. You can do stuff like that, but you can't get him, you can't force him to do anything, right? It sounds like there's already a mutual attraction there, but that he probably has some, you know, some things that he heard about you from other people that you know that he's freaked out about now. And so it's one of those things where if I were you, what I'd do is I just open a door and give him an invitation, let him know that you'd love to meet up with him some time and get some tea or some coffee and, you know, let him know that that's something that you're interested in and that if he wants to do it to let you know, right? So you're not doing it. You're not, you know, setting the date for him. You're not doing all those things, but you're opening the door and letting him know for certain that you're interested in it. And don't, my suggestion is that you don't qualify anything, right? Don't try to like explain to him what happened and all that real, what really all this stuff, right? Or whatever, if he wants to go on the date with you, you guys can have that chat then if you really want to, although it might not be a good chat. I don't know, it depends on what depends on what your, your mutual acquaintance said about you, right? And how bad it is. By the way, I've Fred over here in the corner, he always likes to hang out in my live streams. Anyway, Fred's, Fred's a cactus. Needs to be watered once every 14 days. In case anybody's interested in getting a cactus. All right, so Grace said, hope you and Helena are doing well. Sending thanks for all you both do. Good vibes to both of you. Well, thank you, Grace. Really appreciate that. Leslie says, is it wrong for me to tell my friend that I don't want to hear about his dating life relationship with other women since he knows I have feelings for him. And he tells me he has a genuine love for me. Well, what I do if I were you, instead of being like, I don't want to hear that crap, right? Like that, that feels weird, right? Or if you try to force him to stop talking, right? That feels authoritarian and people usually want to like run away when they hear authoritarian stuff. And so a better way to do it is just to let him know that it really turns you off. And like whenever he says something like that and just let him know, be like, oh God, that just turns me off so much when you talk about that. Like, I don't know, it just makes me feel kind of gross and like I want to go somewhere else. When you're talking about that stuff, it just, I don't know, I just, I feel like I just, like I really like you and I'd like to get closer to you, but like when you talk like that, it just, I don't know, it just, it makes me feel really gross inside and it, I just don't like it, right? That's what you should say. That's the kind of thing you should say. Because basically what you're doing there is you're creating an association. You're creating a negative association to him talking about that. And so he'll talk about it, you say it. He'll talk about it, you say it. He'll talk about it, you say it. And he'll start to be like, oh, it feels really bad saying that to her. I think I'm gonna stop saying that because she always gets weird and starts, you know, saying that she feels really turned off and that she wants to go somewhere else, but that she likes me. And so, you know, I think I'll stop doing that, right? And if he keeps doing it and keeps doing it and keeps doing it, then you should set a boundary around it and tell him that you really like him and that you'd love to talk to him and that you enjoy hanging out with him, but that you don't want to hear him talking about other women that he's dating and all that kind of stuff because it just, it feels really disrespectful to you and your feelings and what's going on with you. And if he's not willing to stop talking about that, then I think you should reconsider hanging out with him completely. Veronica said, what should I do when my boyfriend stops chasing after? But when I asked him, he said, he loves me but is not investing the time he used to. What you should do is you should give him space and you should give him. But when I asked, he said he loves me but is not investing. Yeah, I mean, you know, first off my question is why are you asking him, right? If he loves you, right? Baiting love you questions like that are huge cringes and it makes people feel less attracted, right? Instead, what you wanna do is look at his actions, right? When he's telling you that he loves you but he's not investing in you and you're asking him if he loves you, right? What it sounds like to me is that you're putting him in this kind of higher value than you kind of category, right? And when a guy feels like he's a bigger catch than you are, what ends up happening is that he stops feeling attracted to you and he stops feeling like he wants to start doing things for you, right? And instead he feels like he wants to start pulling back. And so my suggestion is that you, one, stop asking him if he loves you, just stop doing that. Don't ever do it again, that would be my suggestion. Don't ever ask him again for the rest of your life whether he loves you or not. Don't ever ask that question. It's a super cringe question and what it means is that you really love him and that you're super insecure about it about whether he actually likes you or not, right? Which puts him on a pedestal and puts you underneath him. And the golden rule is never act like your low value. Never put yourself in a low value position. You are a goddess. You are a queen. You are a woman of value. You are somebody to be cherished, adored, seen, loved, and treated like you're an amazing human being. That's what you deserve and that's what you should have. And so anytime you're putting yourself into a situation where you're kind of pining for somebody's love, where you're asking them questions, where you're baiting them to tell you that he loves you, you are putting yourself way low on the value scale and you need to stop doing that because that is not you and you're not gonna do that anymore. And next thing you need to do is give him some space and allow him to start chasing you and pursuing you and doing those things for you, right? And I don't know what you mean by he's not chasing after you, what kind of a situation you're in, whether you guys are living together, whether you're living apart, but if you're living apart, then he should be chasing you and you should be letting him chase you. If you're not sure what that looks like and how to do that, go get the forever woman formula. Go get it at theforeverwomanformula.com, go and check that out, go watch the video there, excuse me, and get my program there for free and start following that formula. All right, Amy says, how does an avoidant attachment man show interest? How is it different than those who are not? So an avoidant attachment man, one of the challenges that you're gonna run into with a guy like that is that sometimes he might not really know how to show connection, right? Cause an avoidant attachment man, what that is is a guy who acts like he doesn't need connection. He doesn't need to be connected to somebody. And so it depends on how he kinda grew up and what was going on in that situation that made him an avoidant attachment guy. And if he was in a situation where he didn't really learn how to express connection or love or any of that kind of stuff, then it's very possible that he just doesn't know how to do it. However, he probably will and he probably does because that's kind of a rare scenario. He has to be a very extreme avoidant attachment kinda guy to not have any idea how to connect with people at all. And instead, what he probably does is he probably tries to connect with you in different ways or show attraction in different ways that maybe you're not picking up on, right? And so what you wanna do is look for any kind of behavior where he is moving towards you. So if he's moving towards you, that is behavior that shows that he's attracted to you. So initiating phone calls, initiating texts, setting up dates, meeting up with you, spending quality time with you, like doing anything where he's spending money on you, investing in you, doing things like that with you. Any kind of behavior like that is showing that he's attracted to you. Amelia says no, if a guy says he's not ready, he's just not interested but want to keep in touch if he needs you, right? He's using you. Maria says, thanks for the clarification. I'm not waiting for someone who says I'm not ready. That is actually what he told me when the mutual friend went to him telling stories. So let's see here. An honest Facebook user says, you would be an awesome big brother. Thank you for your clarifying advice and explanations. I just want to let you all know that I am your big brother. I am your big brother from another mother. And so anytime you need advice, I am your big brother and I'm teaching you. I don't care how old you are. Sometimes I get women that are like, no, I'm older than you. Hey, you can't be my big brother. I'm your big brother too. I don't care if you're 100 years old, 120 years old. I am your big brother and I'm here setting the record straight, giving you some good advice on what you should be doing in your relationship. That's what I'm talking about. All right, so we're kind of in this world right now where the media and the entertainment industry and our culture is pushing superficial interactions and superficial relationships. Most of the women who come to me, they want to attract a man who loves them, sees them and cherishes them and they want to get into a committed relationship that lasts. But one of the big problems is that a lot of guys end up pulling away. They just want casual friend with benefits type situations. They disappear or ghost altogether. A lot of women are having a hard time figuring out how to connect with a man, how to get a guy to feel like they love her, right? They're having lots of different challenges around all those things and it's making them feel confused. It's making them doubt themselves, doubt their own value and their own self-worth. Many of them feel like they just want to give up. If you're having a problem with men and you're not sure how to connect with them, if you're in a marriage and you're having a hard time connecting with your husband, if you're having a hard time attracting a guy, it's really, it's not your fault. This is something that our culture is pushing us into. It's called the hookup culture and more women than ever before are getting into their masculine because they're working all the time. More men than ever before are getting into their feminine because they're being treated like little children until they're in their 40s and 50s. And so there's a lot of challenges going on. And I put together a three-part plan for what you need to be doing in order to be successful. Number one is you need to believe in your own value. You need to believe that you are a worthy woman who is worth having a great, amazing relationship where you're cherished and loved and valued. And because of the law of belief transference, you will transfer that belief onto any guy that you are dating and seeing or in a relationship with. And if your belief that you're not valuable is greater than his belief that you are valuable, what'll end up happening is you'll start taking for granted, he'll stop chasing you, he'll lose interest in you, he'll fall out of love with you. And so what you need to do is you need to believe in your value. You need to believe it from your very core. Number two is you need to position yourself in value. You need to put yourself in a place where you are living a life of a valuable woman, a woman who is incredibly valuable, that a man would love to be a part of having you in his life and being with you in that position. Number three is that you need to communicate your value. You need to say the right things, you need to connect with his heart, you need to make him see and feel and experience you as a woman that he just, he never wants to let go of. He feels like he's the most amazing woman he's ever met in his life. And the way that you do that is with my program, it's called The Forever Woman. You can get it for free at theforeverwomanformula.com. Go there, check it out, get the video, watch the video and pick up the program for free and you'll learn all my secrets. If you decide you wanna stay a part of our community, you can stay a part of our community there as well. You'll learn more about that. So thank you everybody for being here. With me today, the women in our community are some of the most beautiful, amazing, smartest, just awesome women in the entire world. So thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your journey. And I absolutely love you guys, I'm your big brother. Remember that, remember I'm your big brother. Anybody mess with you, they're messing with me. And so you wanna know that and thank you so much. Check out The Forever Woman at theforeverwomanformula.com and I will speak with you again soon and always remember, you are worth it.