 So the stuff with Letterman, with the hindsight, what do you think looking back at it? Well, I don't know. Was it a waste of time? Was it petty? Was it small? Do you wish you handled it differently? You know, I can say, but I probably do the same thing. I'm not sure what I did wrong. It started that, oh, I took the Tonight Show away from Letterman. He says he never had it. He never had it. Yeah. But the reason he didn't have it was because he was so good. Here's the thing, Johnny was on 1130. David was doing better at 1230. I mean, he was killing and making huge money, all this kind of stuff. When I guest hosted, I got the same ratings as Johnny. Okay, so NBC said, whoa, we got a hit at 1130 with this new guy and Letterman's killing it at 1230. If we get rid of Jay, he'll go to ABC or CBS. We moved Dave down. There's no guarantee he'll be a six set. Let's keep Letterman where he was. And although Johnny did want Letterman, that was Johnny's choice. Johnny, the time slot belonged to NBC. Yeah. And Dave had kind of pissed people off a little bit too. All right, so I'll play this and just stop it whenever you want. In my group, the funniest was Jay. There were other people that would come in and put on a better show, but just funny to funny, it was always Jay. What do you think of that looking back on it, the rivalry and the late night wars and all that stuff? How do you categorize it in your mind? Well, it's overall, it's embarrassing because I don't wanna be the guy who's pissed off because, oh, I didn't get so-and-so because I didn't truly feel that way. You didn't feel that way? No, no. Thought? You know, I love Letterman. Mm-hmm. And you probably know this as a comic. You go through life when you're starting out and you meet people who just don't get you. I mean, they might get it a little bit, but it's like when you're dating and the girl goes, why do you have to do a set every night? Why have to go to the club every night? Okay, get a new girlfriend, okay? Okay, because this is first, I'm sorry, girlfriend, you're second. You might tie it, but you're never gonna be in front of it, you know? And then you come to a place that comes, you meet Letterman, you meet Richard Lewis, you meet other people that really think like you and you form a bond. I could never dislike, I mean, was I hurt by a lot of things? Sure, sure, that's okay. But there's no- Hurt in that, in that like it was personal or hurt in like, fuck, this is, can't we both have these amazing perches? Like we're both the top of the heap in show business. Can we just enjoy it? You know, I thought it was, the thing I liked about it was, I got the ratings, Dave got the critics. And that seemed fair. And you know something, if you flipped it, that would be okay too. I would take either, I mean, I think we both did okay that way. But truly one of the funniest people and I felt he and I were the perfect foil future because anytime spent with Letterman, I always left with more material than I came in with in the sense that, oh, what's the thing, Dave said? Oh yeah, you know, let's expand on it. Yeah, you know, we would have a conversation and we'd both be laughing and there was no greater joy than putting something in that Letterman genuinely laughed at because Letterman didn't always find things funny. I mean, one of my favorite moments, there was a comedian named Fred Travalina, vaguely, he was an impressionist, but of the old school, you know, Tuxedo, Vegas. Oh, he has Bob Hope at a party, you know, okay, and he just hounded Letterman. Don't put me on, put me on. Cause we know, you know, all these things from the comedy story, you know, you feel guilty. You don't have, so Letterman puts them on. And he sits down, Dave, how you doing this on and so. And Dave asked him a question. He goes, Dave, you know, with my crazy mind and Dave, you know my crazy mind. You see Letterman, yeah, yeah. He's just so uncomfortable with this line of quite. Anyway, with my wacky mind, you know how I think. And I'm just screaming. Dragging him into his horrible setups. Yeah, yeah, it just made me laugh. And that was, we didn't have that when Dave and I got together. I would say something, he would say something scathe or snarky and I would try to come back with them. Oh, it was the greatest time of my career. It was the most fun on TV. I believe you. And what I'm curious about is as it got, you got bigger, he got bigger, rivalry all that competition. Is there a party that feels like, oh shit, I wish it was still, we were closer, like the relationship maintained. I don't know. I think if we ever did get together, it would immediately go back to right what it was. Mm-hmm, like in 78. I mean, I like, I love comics. I'm not a religious person, but you know, if Dave stabbed me, I'd go, he'd still make me laugh, man, I'm sorry. Yeah. You know, I mean, so it's tricky. It's tricky. We have really nothing in common, but- Cars. Cars, yeah, yeah. And $500 million each. I think Dave's probably got a few bucks more than I do. Okay, Dave's got $580. Whatever, but what I mean, you've seen him obsessed by wealth. I do see him obsessed by wealth, yeah. Has it eluded you? You do pretty good. No, I don't. Yeah, you do. It's fun though. It's fun to talk about, because the thing everyone pursues, no one can talk about it. And then when it's in the paper, how much you make, it's like, well, let's talk about it. Right, right. And it's one of those things, that's why I don't complain about anything. Like when I had my accident, I just do jokes about it because people love to see rich people being set on fire. Okay, it's really, it's something they enjoy. So you joke about it, you make fun of it, but was I hurt by the things that went on back and forth? Yeah, yeah. I mean, someone like, really? Okay. You know, I remember once his producer called me, this one Dave had his heart attack. And they said, please don't say anything on The Tonight Show. I said, well, please, just don't. Just don't mention it, don't say anything. Okay, okay. So I didn't, you know. And about 10 days later, the only one who never mentioned it was Leno. You never, I laughed, I walked into that, I got set up on that. I just said, ah, stupid was I not to do that. But that wasn't Dave, that was somebody on the show. But no, to this day, the letterman makes me laugh as much as anybody. Fascinating character, funny. And there's a connection that we have that I can't describe. I know, that's what I'm saying. Like, ah, that's all right. But you know something? It's like sex, I don't care how it works. Just leave it, you know, I like to make love. I don't want to be a gynecologist, okay? It's still too complicated. I don't know what this means, but I like it. Yeah, yeah, that's all right. So I mean, I always, I always liked that. I mean, even when I went back to do the Oprah commercial with Letterman, that thing. Were you guys on set the same day or they shot separately? No, same time. I flew in, Dave said, hey, Dave, we did our lines, and Dave left in it. We were there like a minute and a half, two minutes. But that was okay, that was okay. So it's like, were you considering like a work friend of someone you're a fan of, actual friend back then, I mean. I don't know, you know, it's like, if you've ever been in a plane crash with someone, you have a bond. If you've ever been in a car accident and two of you pull each other out, I don't know, my success was hinged to his. I don't know if his was hinged to mine, but mine was hinged to his. And I'm always grateful for the time I spent with. Those are the most fun part of my career because I could go on the Letterman show with something I thought of that afternoon and just do it. It was spontaneous, it wasn't rehearsed. We didn't have to run it past anybody. It just seemed to work because I knew, I just knew I could see how the wheels turning. I said, what letter was gonna say about this? And I can always tell what I like with the super success magazine, when I caught him off guard, oh, there was nothing more fun to me, nothing I enjoyed more ever than making Dave laugh. Yeah, I wonder how it could have worked professionally if you're the host of tonight show, he's on, or I guess on against, like, could you have maintained the relationship in any, and be successful? Again, Dave would be the guy and I would be the, if it was a comedy team, Dave would be the straight man and I would be the clown guy. You'd be the Dean Martin. Or no, you'd be the Jerry Lewis. It's better if David was the host and I was the comedy. Because I remember Dave used to say to me, when I first saw Letterman in the comedy show, I walked and I said, I introduced myself and I said, man, great words, Smith, I like the way you do things together. Just talk about how we phraseology and whatnot. And he said to me, how can you just be so confident? And I think up there and just, how do you just start yelling at people? Because I wasn't as funny as I was loud. I was, hey, hey, hey, nice to see you, pal. Just kind of, I didn't have a lot of jokes, but Letterman, he liked that part of it. He wasn't outgoing in that way. And I liked his words. So I think we took a little bit from each other. I watched the way David phrased things. I said, yeah, I gotta slow down and be more exact in how I say things. And it's just one of them things. It's just one of those life things. You know, it's one of those life things. Yeah, I mean, if Letterman ever wanted me for anything, I would be there. I am eternally grateful. And I'm sorry, I got so ugly. I don't think it ever got really personal, personal. It was mostly other people. You know, when Stern gets into it and everybody else is all attacking you. But they was okay. They was okay. I mean, I got it. The idea that I somehow took the show away from him, well, that never happened. David's own success kept him from getting the show because they wanted to keep 12, 30 a hit. But when I talk to strangers, they think Dave was all set to step in and I guess hosted for five years. I heard you stood in the door and said, but wait. Yeah, but no, I guess hosted for five years before I even got the show. Right. Yeah, and he's just like, the sands of time or like. Sands of time. Hey, did you like that? Did you like that? Yeah, did you like it though? You want more? Don't want to work? Would rather watch videos of me grab acid with people. First of all, go up here to subscribe and then go up here to watch more clips. This is like when the weatherman says there's a high pressure system coming in. Hello, I'm not really used to the green screen.