 Hey survivors and frivers. In this video I am going to be talking about the 6 core human needs and how this relates to narcissism. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. If you are interested in one-on-one coaching, you can email me at narxvivercoaching.com. We have a private Reddit community where survivors and frivers can share their experiences and knowledge. If you are interested in being a part of this community, you can sign up for our Patreon page, the link is in the video description. Check out the Narx Viver merchandise store where you can purchase your own Narx Viver t-shirt or mug. We have a variety of designs and it is a great way to support the channel. The link to our Narx Viver merchandise store is in the video description. 6 core human needs According to Anthony Robbins, human beings can be motivated by their desire to fulfill 6 core needs. These needs are not just wants or desires, they form the basis of every choice we make. Through understanding what drives our decisions and behaviours, we can identify what needs a narcissist is trying to fulfill and what unfulfilled needs have caused them to develop these narcissistic decisions and behaviours. We can also identify what needs we need to fulfill and what needs we are not being fulfilled in the relationship with a narcissist. Every day we fulfill these needs, either in a way that is beneficial or resourceful or in a destructive and resourceful way. Narcists most often choose to meet their needs in a destructive and resourceful way. You can either build a person up or break them down. You can either build or destroy, a narcissist prefer to destroy. According to Anthony Robbins, the 6 core human needs are certainty, uncertainty or variety, significance, love and connection, growth, contribution. The first 4 needs are defined as needs of the personality. The last 2 needs are identified as needs of the spirit. Certainty is a survival mechanism. It is the need for safety, security, comfort, order, reliability, predictability, control and consistency. Uncertainty or variety is the need for surprise, challenges, excitement, change, difference and adventure. These first 2 needs work with each other. If there is an imbalance in one need, it will affect the other. If there is too much certainty, you can experience boredom and then desire to experience excitement or adventure and this is why so many long term relationships fail. They become too predictable, there isn't enough excitement or adventure. Narcists get bored easily. They like the safety and security around their supply but due to the high level of certainty they also require a secondary source of supply to fulfill the need of uncertainty or variety. Significance is the need to have meaning, to feel special, to be needed or wanted, important or lovable. Growth and connection is the need for communication, attachment or intimacy. Narcists spend too much of their time and effort on gaining significance rather than love or connection. So with Narcists there is usually an imbalance there. The final 2 needs are the needs of the spirit. They provide the structure for happiness and fulfillment. Growth is the need for constant emotional, intellectual and spiritual development. Contribution is the need to give to others, to serve, care and protect other people. I have found in my personal experience that Narcists do not place much importance on the final 2 needs, growth or contribution. Some Narcists might work on their intellectual or spiritual development but usually neglect their emotional development. Narcists are also self-absorbed and lack empathy. So the need to contribute isn't going to be important to them, unless it can benefit them in some way. Narcism is a coping mechanism and a defence mechanism and an adaptation for not fulfilling these 6 core human needs. Narcism also allows the Narcists to fulfill the first 4 needs. It gives them safety and security, comfort and order, but this causes their source of supply to become reliable and predictable for them, although easy to control. It creates an imbalance of certainty and uncertainty. The Narcist gets bored as the relationship is no longer given them a balance of certainty and uncertainty. To fulfill this need for uncertainty, they might find a new target, it gives them a feeling of excitement or adventure. This could also help to fulfill their need of significance. Another way for them to fulfill their need of significance is to tear you down, abuse and manipulate you, devalue and degrade, humiliate and exploit you, but because they spend so much time and effort on gaining significance, it creates an imbalance within another need they are trying to fulfill, which is love and connection. The importance to the Narcist of fulfilling their needs for certainty, uncertainty and significance overrides the importance of their need for love and connection. There is always going to be at least one of the Narcist core human needs, which is unfulfilled. This is why they do what they do, because they are trying to fulfill one of their core human needs. If you pay attention to their decisions and behaviors, it should become clear which need they are trying to fulfill. Narcists often neglect their need for growth, they neglect their emotional development, yet their decisions and behaviors are based off of these undeveloped emotions. Rather than any logical reasoning, some Narcists might place importance on intellectual and spiritual development. This is usually if they believe that it can help them obtain Narcist supply, or if it can help them to fulfill one of the other needs. Narcists don't really have a need to contribute, unless it can benefit them in some way. Their envy and self-hatred overrides any empathy or desire to contribute they would otherwise have. They are self-absorbed and lack empathy, because their needs are not being fulfilled, including the needs which they do not place much importance on, just because they do not consider them to be important. It does not mean that these unfulfilled needs are not going to have an effect on their decisions and behaviors, and on their health. Narcists do what they do, because they are trying to fulfill these six core human needs. We stay with them, because we are trying to fulfill those same needs. Which we have, Narcists who you don't even know could become passive aggressive or violent towards you, as a way of fulfilling their needs. It will give them a sense of a certainty and significance, as well as creating an intimate connection with you. It's a very sick way of creating an intimate connection, but it's still a connection. Many of these people in their childhood were made to believe that they are not lovable, they are not worthy or deserving of love. So rather than trying to develop real human connection, they will become passive aggressive or violent towards you, as a way of fulfilling those same needs. They take a different road to get to the same destination, but it ends up being less fulfilling, which only causes them to become more frustrated and resentful towards you. Narcists get angry to feel certain in a world that is uncertain, their anger meets their need for certainty and even significance. People will give up their goals and dreams to meet their needs, they will even give up their own values to meet their needs. With Narcists their needs have even more importance than they do to the average person. Narcists also do not have any consistent values, Narcists do what they do because they have developed destructive or unresourceful ways of fulfilling these six core human needs. These destructive or unresourceful ways of fulfilling these needs are a response to trauma or to a hostile environment in childhood. Thank you for watching, I hope this video resonated with you, please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching Inquiries, you can email me at narcisfivercoaching at gmail.com, more video soon.