Alpha Protocol - bugs, glitches and annoyances





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Published on Aug 16, 2010


music: Scorn - Walls Of My Heart

00:00 - that's how the first mission in the game starts. You're facing an enemy and unless you picked stealth as one of your skills, you're seen and shot at.

00:13 - similar situation, but this time it's the end boss. The fight begins and he's already shooting at you.

00:17 - you can't aim at a 90 degree angle. Notice how the crosshair stops at a certain height.

00:25 - enemy floating in the air in the upper right corner of the screen.

00:33 - those guys must have x-ray vision. They're attacking me even though I had triggered the alarm with an unsuccesful hacking attempt and ran behind the door before anyone showed up.

00:42 - this is how long it takes to kill a single guy in this game. And bosses are MUCH MUCH worse.

1:10 - shells ejecting from my gun. I'm dead.

1:18 - long ass lag when I load up the map.

1:28 - the guy on the left vanishes into thin air, another one spawns right next to me after a few seconds.

1:37 - this is how I killed the hardest (IMO) boss in the game. He got stuck behind cover and that was the only way I could do anything to him. Seriously, he's a pain in the ass.

1:51 - crouching on a very thin ledge and seeing through a wall.

2:01 - another lag. It happenes every time you buy something. Now picture buying 10 mags and other stuff before every mission.

2:10 - an item stuck in a wall, which makes it impossible to pick up.

2:16 - that's what hacking looks like. You have 18 secs to match two passwords with ones hidden in that flickering mess. Good luck, especially since the controls are incredibly unresponsive and password placement changes randomly every couple of seconds. By the way, this game has no quicksaves.

2:37 - sometimes the door behind you gets locked for good and you can't go back. If you forgot to pick up ammo etc., you're fucked.

2:52 - enemy stuck in a walkway.

3:00 - a demonstration of how overpowered the skill Shadow Operative is. I don't think I need to explain anything, just watch.

3:30 - a "loading" icon. IN AN ACTION GAME.

3:39 - character screen missing textures PLUS a grammatical error.

3:43 - I shot down a camera, but it mysteriously comes back to life every time I switch off the alarm. Also it only takes one hit to destroy it, for some reason.

4:02 - shooting at the final boss...

4:11 - ...and 47 minutes later he finally dies.

4:18 - a compilation of deaths from the fight with Marburg. After about 96283562 deaths I knew I'd only kill him with the help of a glitch or something like that and I wasn't mistaken (see: 1:37).

6:36 - I've really had it with that fucking voice actor. It's like there are no other guys who can speak English with thick Russian accent. Jeez.

6:45 - you think hacking is hard? Try solving this puzzle. Oh, and that's with "just" ten circuits. Later in the game you have to connect TWELVE.


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