80s Commercials Gateway #2





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Published on Oct 26, 2009

Prepare for temporal displacement.

Cable Television - A dad pacifies his family with a "quality programming" line of b.s. when you know
he's waiting for them to clear out so he can flip to Skinemax.

Wrigley's - That little lift of juicy flavor that makes you do one of those head-tilt-smiles.

Pepsi - A bunch of futuristic, rock digging noobs can't identify an iconic find.

Chef Boyardee - Thank goodness, indeed! Anybody else enjoy this cold out of the can?

Oreda Lite Fries - One of many "light on calories" ads of the era to feature floating products.
Cuz they're so light, get it?

Lousiana Boat Safety - I don't usually feature local ads, but this has to be seen to be believed.
Scores extra points for flying chunks of human remains upon explosion.

Taco Bell - They're gonna give The Works!...to your lower intenstines.

Dad's Root Beer - Cool time-transitioning ad for this old sudser that can still be found at some
far reaches of the universe.

Snickers - Selling point of Snickers giving you that extra energy to finish the afternoon with. As
opposed to the shiftless fat kid who ate six of them while playing Gyromite.

Pro Grain - Wheaties rip disguised as a Cheerios rip. One of those cereals touted as giving you
super human abilities to race bikes or swim across channels.

Classic Concentration - A mustachioed, middle-aged Alex Trebek hosts the show known mostly
for an obscene puzzle played on bloopers shows.

Wendy's - Overcranked shots of nimrods fainting from the thoughts of a $1.99 combo meal. Can't
blame them nowadays.

Coke - The 80s rap infusion influences this piece featuring a Jungle Fever-ing pair of teenagers
haltingly describing what you can win under the cap.

Popeye's Chicken - Coke follow-up where a six-pack is only .99 cents with a Popeye's purchase.

Diet Coke - I need to edit these better. Another damn Coke spot with Fame-like dancers set in a

McDonald's - Christmas McNuggets bring the oppurtunity to dip them in festive sauces! And they
say Christmas is dead.

KFC - That 60s influence on 80s marketing (no doubt the result of a flower child ad exec)
has extras doo-wah-diddying to Chicken Littles sandwiches.

Entertech - Water spewing machine-pistols allow children to have good natured fun shooting each
other. Note the kid in the Vietnam-ish jungle shrubs shielding himself from a hand grenade.

Kudos - Anybody else polish off an entire box in one sitting? Damn small granola bars.


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