 Suckin' on a spunk sponge. Now everyone, we're not gonna get into shit talk just yet. It's very, very exciting what's going on right now. We have a new chair for Matt because his chair last week broke. We've managed to guide him into this fucking room without him seeing it. So he can't see what his new chair is behind him. We've sat him down on the ground. It's directly behind him. But before we get into the episode 7, episode 7? Yep. This is the biggest review I'm quite... This is to say sorry for the other one breaking. We didn't know that would happen. This could be a 10 episode chair. This is a once in a lifetime kind of chair. Shut up. All right, Matt. It's gonna be shit. I know it's gonna be shit. Now, everyone, you're about to see Matt's live reaction to this. He has not seen it. All right. So I want you to... Without turning around, I want you to stand up first, can't? Stand up. Rise. For the Southern Cross. We pull the mic up to your fucking snout. All right. What do you think it is? Oh, something fucks like a sexual thing. All right, Matt. When you're ready, turn around. That costs money. I can't even drill that into the room. That's not gonna hold me. For everyone listening, we have fastened... How would you describe this? Like an adult nappy. We've fastened an adult nappy to the ceiling, which Matt will sit in, with bungee cords dutch to it. Yeah, we've tested him. Yeah, let's get... James, can you please assist Matt into getting in? Let's see what this looks like. Oh, the cumble. Not the cumble. Holy shit. That was close. Imagine if cum poured everywhere. I mean, mints. Facebook or YouTube. Yeah, YouTube. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, mints. Slits down like what? Oh, it looks beautiful. Yeah, hold on. I want to go in it. That's gonna suck. I wish I had one. You're a lucky boy, Matt. He's apprehensive. I love that word. He's an apprehensive brown. Matt apprehensive brown. Are you happy about it? It costs money. I was gonna ask how much it was, Matt. $450 we spent on this chair. We had a lot of conditioning in here. Is it for like adult babies or something? And a lot of labor. It's like for morbidly obese people, I think. Oh, that's not fun. Look, it's not great on your balls, but hey, you can wear a cushion. Oh, you can stand. We're gonna steal that camera out. He likes it. He likes it. My what? He got it. No, no, Dan. Is it bad? Yeah, Matt, put these on. Yeah, it's not comfortable. My dick is way too big for this. Put these on. All right, again, what if we get you a little cushion for your cock, a little cock cushion? Maybe just even like a... Just like a little bit of room. I already feel like I'm flat. Oh, fuck it. Let's just roll with it. We'll sort that out for the next episode. Why don't you sit back? See if you can relax and sit back on it. I can't sit. Yeah, you can. It'll hold you, dude. Trust us. No, I don't trust it. I'm just gonna stand. It held James. James is only weighs a few kilos less. He was bouncing. Fuck off. James weighs like 30 kilos less than me. He was bouncing, though. It's hooked into steel beams. He literally tested it. I can't do 10 episodes of this. He's starting to like it. I'm parachuting into Germany. He's starting to like it. Oh my gosh. Worst case scenario, just the steel bit slings down into your skull and knocks you down. That is fucked. That makes you not want to sit. Dude, it's not gonna happen. You'd hear it first. It's gonna go bang. Yeah. It's gonna go bang. Make sure you talk into your microphone. People can't understand what you're feeling, Brown. Fuck you. Fuck all of you. Oh man. It's actually not a bad chair. It's just the roof. I feel like a roof. It's on beam. It's beams. There's beams there, dude. It's not just fucking in plaster. Legs. Just go. It's a fecline. I love it when he's like, just go. He just wants to get it over and done with. You got a wall. Fucking terrified. One's going to break off and slingshot. That's why I gave you your helmet. Fuck you. Do you want some headgear? Yeah. My legs are sore now. Anyway. Anyway, guys, welcome to episode seven of the Marty and Michael fully actual podcast. I'm scared they're going to give way. We've got, we've got a jam-packed episode. How do you know? We tested it. It just shut up. I weigh twice you. No, James. Yeah. He weighs the same as you. He's like 90 kilos. Give me this for a second. We bought a stud finder. What's a stud finder? You need to explain that to me. It finds the huge wooden beams that is holding this building up. Seriously. Hayden and Hayden then see those little holes next to the chicole. Yeah. James is convincing me. He drilled into those to make sure that the metal parts were drilled into those studs. And those screws there, they hold 1000 kilograms. Yeah. Now I'm fine with the screws. I'm talking about the roof. Yeah, it's nice. So you're drilled into the beam. Fine. Is there two beams there? Think about how many times, like all of us, five, six of us have been on this roof. I was walking over this roof. Yeah, that's what I mean. See, okay. You're making me feel better. This is real life. Mark, Mark will you fucking suck at explaining this. No, no, real. Okay. Let me be real. Sorry. Now, real life men built that. Let's just go. Seriously. Like real men that can build and shit. Luke and so funny when Loki walks in. That reminds us guys, right? We got a jam packed episode. All right. Are you finished dealing with the channel? Can we move on? Fuck off. Jam packed episode. We got Loki coming on for a bit of an interview. We got Matt vs. Michael. We got all sorts of shit. We got prank call at the end. I'm feeling a bit better. Better than last week anyway. So hopefully our energy levels will be up in this episode. It'll be a little bit better. We had another fucking podcast demonetized. So so far we've had four out of six are demonetized. Sorry. Age restricted. They're all demonetized. Age restricted, which means you have to be like over 18 or watch. It means I'm hanging here for nothing. Yeah. Look, we've been talking about it and we may have to dumb some of our stuff down. Just so it doesn't get age restricted. Like we said, we don't care about demonetization. It's age restriction that will stop the growth of this podcast. And we can't have that. Matt can't be doing all this for nothing. So tell your sisters and tell your uncles can't. Now, what have we been up to? I'll tell you what. I went back to the still dealing with all this hot shit. So I went back to the cardiologist yesterday. And he looked at the results of the 24 hour heart monitor thing. But I knew that they'd be fine because while I was wearing it, I didn't have any weird little episodes. So he looked at you as a girl. No, you're fine. Even though like literally two days after I wore that thing, I've been having little episodes daily. So it's just so fucking unlucky that the day that I wore it, I didn't have any episodes. My fucking heart echo thing as well. There's a slight reduction in the performance of my priming chamber. So it's, I don't know. I don't really understand it all. Like I asked a lot of questions. He gave me very vague answers. But basically I'm going to go on the medication. I have my first blood pressure tablet last night. So I just have a tablet every night. And I'm going to go back in like a month and see if that's helped. Do you get high at all from it? No, nothing. It's just useless. It's completely useless. It's like my gout medication. It's a shit drug. Yeah. Yeah, it does nothing. That medication does nothing. So yeah, it's weird. I've been getting palpitations after I eat. So like two hours after I eat, I'll feel my heart beating out of my chest. That happens daily, usually at night time. I don't know. And especially a big shout out to Tom and Marina. They've reached out. They've had similar heart shit. I've been, fuck, every time I'm stressed out, I message them and talk to them and they do make me feel better. They had SVT. I still don't know if I have that. I'm praying it's just a bit of high blood pressure and the tablets get it down. So I'll keep you posted. But yeah, at the moment, it's just still fucking shit. Life is not fun. I can't eat what I want to eat. I can't drink alcohol. I can't smoke weed. None of that shit. So pray for Marty, please. Not that I was going to anyway. Nearly day 60 now. No drugs and alcohol. How good is that? 60 days. Yeah, that one. It'd be so good if I could exercise my ass off as well. I'd probably be looking so fucking good right now. I couldn't. But I'm not. Because I'm depressed and not going into the gym because I can't work out hard. Yeah, well, how about we get back into weight soft weights? Yeah, exactly. So I'm just going to, like I said, blood pressure medication and hopefully life will resume somewhat normally. And I've also ordered a heart rate measuring thing that I'm just going to wear myself. So when I feel these weird episodes hopefully record it and take it back to the cardiologist. I'm just trying to tell you guys as much as possible. In case there's someone else out there who has felt this that can help that they must be like, oh, that sounds like me. If that's you, fucking damn in, because I am all ears, because it feels like I'm being misdiagnosed with high blood pressure when I've been fucking exercising my whole fucking life and don't have any issue, like family history of heart shit. It's just weird, man. So I don't know. Obviously, you've got high blood pressure. There's a reason why there's high blood pressure. It's not just I've got high blood pressure. Yeah, that's what I mean. Here, treat the symptom. I'd rather, I want to find out why. Why is it high? Is there any good doctors? If you're a good doctor, please. Yeah, just help us out, because I feel like it's something to do with the electrics of the heart. But anyway. Sorry. Let's move on. What else has been fucking happening? We've been filming a bit again. Fucking, as you saw, our Stevo video came out on the website, some slight cringe parts to it. One of the fucking stunts failed the poo shot. But overall, it's a video with Stevo and like, you know, we'll fucking so chuffed we got to hang out with him. Because after that video, we got to hang out with him for like an hour in the green room and just talk shit with him. So that was sick. It was very surreal. It was a tick off the bucket list. But we were nervous as fuck. We really need to work on our live performances because like, you know, when it's just us sitting around talking shit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. He has hand support. He has hand support. Matt's got a hand support with a chair and a table. It's really easy to be natural. But then when you're in front of it, thrust in front of your hero and he's like, hurry up. I've only got 15 minutes. It's like, yeah. It's the... It's tough. The fact that we haven't done much live performing really shows sometimes. But anyway, it's out on the website. And what else is out on the website right now? Just so everyone knows, if I can't look that way, it's because I have a house injury. Michael's got a pinched nerve in his neck. It's so annoying. It's so hard to look at you right now, dude. Ooh, ooh, that's a freckling, huh? What else has been going on with you, man, have you fucking screamed at anyone at work? Did you slay and kill something over the weekend? Huh? What did happen over the weekend? Oh, me and Brown hung out on Sunday. We had a did we? Yeah, you left me, actually. Oh, I had a wedding. I went for a walk. Yeah, we we we did hang out for a few hours. We played a bit of Fortnite. I won one. Very important anyway. Yeah, look, I've seen Ryan play Fortnite. So, like, honestly, he's just he's a new. I think he's about my. He even holds that no way. He even holds a controller differently. And he like, it's like, it's unbelievable. Dude, he fucking nearly wins every time. He won nearly win every time you're bra, please. I went to a wedding, Michael Davies wedding, an old tennis coaching man, he's fucking hilarious. That guy, if he went into social media, I can eat easily. Could make a living out of it. He's just such a funny dude. Everyone there said the same thing, talking about how funny he is. And there's stories of how they met him. Man, fucking hilarious. How did you meet him during the tennis course? But one of the other dudes there who just made him out and he said that he just, Michael just walked up to him. And with a Swedish accent and was like, hi, I'm Sven, a professional tennis and for like half an hour, pretended to just be this Swedish tennis player to this complete stranger. And then after half an hour was like, oh, I'm just joking. Dude, I'm actually Australian. It's fun. Like this fucks with him. Fucks, I'm an entertainer that is good. That's fucking hilarious to me. That's a classic lie. When people do that shit for their own amusement. That's when you know they do great sense of humor. Yeah, exactly. It's just for them. Yeah, man. Have you ever done that, man? Well, it's just for you. He needs support. He needs some milk. He needs to pull his head. Did you take my phone from me? Yeah, I was going to get one of these to take a photo of it. And now I'm just over that. Can you pass out a bag if you can reach down? I can't reach. I don't have to slide it to you. Watch out for the cord because you fucking pull it out and you ruin everything. Shit, it's not me. All right, guys, don't do that. Let's get into let's get into the fucking sponsors. Let's do some sponsors. It's time for sponsors. They give us cash. Athletic Greens really helps us. It makes us feel better. It undoes a lot of the damage that we did to ourselves throughout our 20s. So if you like to have a big old bitch bender on the weekend, how about you fucking? How about you undo some of that with some athletic greens? Athletic Greens dot com slash fully actual. You get a free travel pack. Just one scoop of this powder and it's so good for you. And get this, get this, right? You know, the vitamin D that we take from athletic greens. It's from the sun. I did a blood test right for my heart shit. The doctor looking at my blood test said, Holy fuck, your vitamin D, this is legit. This is true. I remember you said this. My vitamin D levels are fucking through the roof and that's very, very good. Having high vitamin D helps your whole body with everything. It does like hormones and shit. It makes everything function properly. Do you understand? So if you're sitting in your fucking concrete tower, you don't see sun. You go straight from your fucking room to your car to office to car to home under shelter. Constantly, you don't see one inkling of sun. You will not have enough vitamin D. So vitamin D is also in athletic greens. So get it because it makes you function better. And it's just a droplet. A little dropper. You drop it under your tongue one a day, one little drop as well as the fucking powder. It's a subscription. It's like $120 or $30 a month and you don't even have to think about it. Rocks up at your door. It's a daily fucking serving and it will add years to your life. God, it looks like this. It's green and it's easy. Athletic greens. Man, I actually feel like something right now. All right, guys. I see you. I can see you. I see you there. You're sitting there. You look to look down at your have a look down at your body. Lift your shirt away. Notice all that hair. That disgusting black, wiry hair covering your body. You see that? Well, underneath that hair. If you shave that hair away, you remove all of your depression. You remove your worse self. Remove your gross rug hair and reveal your true fucking potential. OK, get off your fucking ass. It starts with you, with yourself. Don't you point at me, man? Don't you? I will try and contain my passion, but I can't guarantee it. These cunts at home are covered in fucking fur and doing nothing, nothing with your lives. All you need to do is go to manscape.com slash fully actual 20 and get 20% off their products and start shaving away your shame and reveal and blossom your true potential. You are a man. You are a man. You're competing with cunts. They're probably saying we are an animal. You're competing with fucking millennials who don't have a hair on their fucking body. Shave away the shame and be who you really are. You can be someone. You can be someone great. Don't you want that? Don't you want to be looked at and admired instead of people looking at you and turning away? The head traps smells. The head traps odor. Yucky! You fucking... You fucking... Manscape will shave you away. You need to be better. And you start by grooming yourself. Manscape.com. Go and be better. It's time. It's time to go out in the world and do what you know you can do. Reveal who you are cunt. Because no one else is going to do it for you. You're just going to fade into the blackness just like your fucking hair. Also for women. Some women I've decided. Also for some women. It's sliding up my ass. And remember women. Don't... You do it too, right? You shave. Because like we like to say... We don't like... We ain't going down. We don't. We don't. Go in more to have a stare at it. Right? Right with a type of finger. Cool. But we ain't going down stairs with a fucking mouth. If you're going to hear it, come on. I don't know about that. Look at fucking my brand. He's just... I'm not gonna lie. Oh, fuck me, dude. All right, let's move on. Can you get a photo of me? Yeah, yeah, of course. You want one now? Oh, no, I just want... Yeah, yeah, don't want it. A bong break or something, just go. Bong break, bong break. We're gonna have a quick bong break. We'll be right back with a horoscope and who's the better brown, brown, brown. Matt, if you would like to stand, you can stand. Yeah, but camera. Oh, it's a feather for clue. Will my head get chopped off? I'll just keep going. Just keep going. All right, guys. Scopes. All right, guys, this is where I compile all of the leading expert horoscopians data into one horoscope for Taurus, for Julian's horoscope, which is a street rat, and then Matt's horoscope, and Matt, the individual. Matt, the individual. You'll always be a street rat. All right, for Taurus. As the cosmic stars align this week, that means you must return to breastfeeding from your mother. She will complain that she's not even lactating, but do not take no for an answer. In uncertain times like this, it's wise to learn a new hobby like fencing, adopt a baby and grill it. All right, street rat. Cosmic energy swirls around our galaxy like a point of meth and a fresh glass pipe. Saturn got raided by the cops, which will pique your curiosity into getting fake tits. Play some lawn bowls this weekend. There should be some half smoke. Darius lying around the bins. Keep your mates entertained by shooting up ice and fucking a prostitute trans. All right, so I'm assuming this is something that has happened or will happen. Dude, just read my proper horoscope. This is. Rain was hammering my open, unblinking eyes as I rifled through the bins in my neighborhood. I loved bin night. A chance to add to my collection and finish my masterpiece. I moved from bin to bin, lurking in the darkness. My pupils were so large and black that it looked like I was wearing sunglasses. I pulled a fresh bin open to reveal a mess of maggots and ants squirming around in the rotting food scraps. Without hesitation, I shot my hands into the food soup and started squelching around through it. The smells danced into my nostrils and my nipples tripled in size. I squelched all the way through the bin, eagerly tearing through the bags. I found four used tampons, which I sucked on and swallowed immediately. Then, right at the bottom, I found my favorite. Fingernail clippings. With my entire body dangling in the bin, I carefully picked them out and put them in my purse. What is that? Oh, I hear humans. I retract my body out of the bin and flatten myself on the ground. Is that a human? It can't be. It must be a possum or something. I see the humans standing on their front doorstep, shining a torch in my direction. The pounding rain was stopping them from getting a closer look, but the torchlight caught my face. Oh, holy fuck! That's a man! I become defensive and hiss. Then on all fours, I gallop like a horse, deeper into the neighborhood and deeper into the darkness. I gathered enough tonight and headed home. Backwards. Once home, I calm myself and get to work. I open my safe and retrieve my current girlfriend, Zackwilt. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Zackwilt is a flashlight made entirely of fingernails. I open my purse and use some of my mints to glue the last few dozen fingernails onto my Zackwilt. Finished. She was a long tube shaped piece with a hollowed out center which perfectly fit the dimensions of my little brown. I lit some candles and played some shinaya twain. She was very prickly to handle as the fingernail stabbed into my soft, creamy skin. I was nervous. I love you, Zackwilt. I slowly slide my flaccid little brown into my girlfriend. My little brown fills with thick blood, with every heart, with every beat of my heart. As it swells, I feel the fingernail start to dig into my creamy, creamy cock. The pain only speeds the swelling of my little brown and soon my little brown has filled the entire space within my Zackwilt. This was the first time making love to my new girlfriend and I wanted it to be special. So I start slow. I slide my little brown out of Zackwilt. The jagged pieces of nail dig into my shaft and I feel my skin start to tear. Oh, please be gentle, Zackwilt. I feel blood start to trickle from my prickle and I re-enter, Zackwilt. Again, the nails shred my shaft. I start to go faster and faster and soon I'm fully fucking, Zackwilt. The nails are now grating me and I feel so close and connected to Zackwilt. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, finally. I'm full fuck speed and power. Then I feel my plums start to drain. I keep power fucking my new girlfriend as my mat and sap erupts from my shredded flesh wand. Mince fills, Zackwilt, and then gushes out the end. I yodel with ecstasy. Yodel, yodel, yodel, yodel, yodel, yodel, yodel, yodel. I remove Zackwilt and drop her. I fall to my knees with tears streaming down my face. Thank you, Zackwilt. It was perfect. My little brown was barely recognizable. I wrap him in cling wrap and take Zackwilt to bed with me. I gently kiss her goodnight and in that moment, I had never been happier. Whoa. Why the fuck did you name it that? Just stop reading things out about me. Oh, man, Zackwilt. Holy shit. Anyway, let's let's move on. There's no murder. Yeah. I thought that that's good. I think that's very progressive. Yeah, I think you're being that's very progressive. Inclusion, you're being inclusion. That's very inclusive and progressive. And I respect that, bro. Bro, bro. Straight up. I respect that. That was ridiculous. I feel ridiculous. All right. All right. It looks so cute, though. I love the one thing. I feel like if I if I was more comfortable that wasn't going to collapse, I could probably relax more. Yeah, it's not. No, you're not. It's not at full stretch. Like, it wouldn't even hurt that much, even if it did break. Fuck, shut up. Because we use these all the time in videos. Don't even talk about it. I have a sore neck. I hope he's got a sore neck. Look at Marty. Well, it's not all about your situation, you know. Yeah, everyone's got issues. All right. Do we have a thing for who's the better brown? Yeah, do we? All right, no. I don't think we have a bad verse, Michael. We've got to get on to that. So I saw a comment. Michael, Michael, Monday. Yeah, Monday's got a tail. Monday will have. Yeah, yeah, but we did see we see your comments, guys. Sorry, it is slack. It's the seventh episode. We haven't done that. I know it is like, but you know, someone is angry about the actual intro to the podcast. He keeps going day two or episode two where I keep complaining about that. To be honest, we have not put a hundred percent effort into the podcast this season. It's so hard. This whole last four week period has been really hard to try and be funny. It's like it's constant anxiety. But I'm yeah, I'm willing to bet that we'll be back better than ever, guys. So just fucking hang in there. And yeah, we're sorry that we haven't done the intros for the other segments. They're coming. Matt, you've got to put you've got to put you've got to put the thing down. It's mine. His outfit upsets me today. By the way, I forgot to mention his shit talk. I just randomly said to Michael, oh, I just got text from Greg. He's coming over and Michael got so excited. And it is true. And he put his Harry Potter outfit on. He's like, because we've Michael's fucking bought these Harry Potter wands that shoot like little flameballs out. And he's been filming us shooting us with him. Yeah, he got you too. He was going to do a clip on Greg and he got really excited. So I messaged Greg and said, hey, Michael, things coming over. Tell him that you got him a surprise. I was so surprised as I've got a present for you and sends a photo of a tennis ball machine. Michael thinks we're going to get a clear get to hang out with Greg and that we're getting a tennis ball machine as a gift. And I just come in and I say he's not coming. It was sucked because Greg's the best man in the world. So he didn't come. And I was like ready for the clip. My he's like, oh, he's here, he's here. So I'm ready to scare him with the fucking wands. I'm all dressed up and I was just I was full kid. Yeah, I'd be pretty happy to if Greg was coming. It was fun. That's some heat. Yeah, that's some heat coming off you. A bag of sweat hanging there while you're getting lower. Yeah, I've been relaxing. He's trusting it more. But he's trusting it more. There is sore. Anyway, let's do who's the better brown. It's it's up to eight hundred fucking dollars this week. Matt, you better not lose this. This is like getting intense. How many do I get in a row before I get a payout? You get any ten in a row. So you've got four in a row. All right, so wow, this is fully absolute luck that I beat Jonathan Brown. Yeah, you keep coming for the Brown vs Brown segment. Yeah, come on, have a seat, mate. Come on, have a fucking seat. How the fuck are you? I'll make sure you're in shot. Look at Matt. Look at Matt. And Matt's bulging to the fucking roof. It's a fucking up. Is it hot, man? No, no, don't touch it. Is it springy? Yes. That looks fucking. Yeah, it looks like a lot of fun if I felt safe about it. All right, guys, I'm going to. So who's the better brown? It's jackpot it up to eight hundred dollars this week. We call someone else with the last name Brown. And then they go ahead to get ahead against our Matt Brown. And whoever answers more questions correctly wins. If they win, they get eight hundred dollars. Matt wins jackpots to a thousand dollars next week. So if you know someone with the last name Brown, get them to DM us. All right. There's some big cash to be fucking made here. You fucking. Shit. It's not on the answer. Hello. Are we speaking with a Mr. Skipper brownie? You are. Oh, my fucking guide, you're on the money. Michael, fully actual podcast and sitting. You're sitting here right here with one of the best browns in the world is fucking sitting here with you. Can't you guys are going to fucking head to head? If you win this, you get eight hundred dollars. Can't you understand? Well, yeah, dude, that's a lot of fucking money right now. So what's your real name? Sam Brown. So do you guys, do you guys know each other? No, I don't think I've met a Sam or something. Maybe surely you guys are related. Maybe maybe you've said together. Maybe what's your name? What's Matt Brown, Matt Brown. I don't know any Matt Brown. I'd be so confused if there was another person with my last name. And I was talking to them every week. Like so weird, dude. Why aren't you more confused about that? Where are you from, Sam Brown? Tasmania. Really? The browns have spread far and wide. They're in every crevice of earth. They're even under the earth's crust. If I saw another brook house, I'd throw a rock at him. Yeah, that's how weird it would be. But you browns are just so cool with it. Look how relaxed Matt is right now. What's your favorite color, Sam? Obviously, man. It's pink. Pink and brown. That's what we are both just going to wear. Yeah, browns wearing pink. All right, anyway, let's get into this. All right, here we go. All right. Question number one, I will take closest answer. And Matt is reigning champion. You must answer first. If you door dashed a brown iced chocolate, a brown fondue for two, and a brown English breakfast tea from Oliver Brown, how much would your order be excluding delivery? Oh, this is rough. So without the delivery. Without the delivery fees added on top. Who's going first? Matt Brown. What were they again? A coffee. A brown iced chocolate, a brown fondue for two, a brown English breakfast tea from Oliver Brown. Be a member. I'm going to go $24.50. $24. All right, Sam, what do you think? I'll go $24. The answer. That's so harsh. It's $30.50. Matt, what did you say? I said $24.50. So you win. So Matt's up 1-0. Holy fuck, this is crazy. This is crazy, man. You could get two grand here. Sam, whereabouts in Tasmania are you from? Are you trying to fuck him? Shut up. This is exactly like Bachelor of Brown. Just let me talk to him. He's trying to find out your address, Sam. Don't give it to him. Whereabouts in Tasmania are you from? We could be related. The Northwest, bro. Like Bartaba Beach. Why? You're not from Tasmania, are you? I've got family. Of course you do. Somewhere in the bloodline. All right, question number two. Smith is the number one most common surname in the US. What number is brown? Sam, I will ask you first. Seven. That's a strong number. I would have said that. Pardon? I would have said that. Think about how many browns there are out there. Brown, right, Matt? Brown, what do you say? This is about the most common names in the US. Most common surnames. Smith being number one. Now, Greg is one of them, the fucking dog. There's so many Smiths. I'm going to say, he says seven. Oh, man. Can't be that. I'm going to go fifth. It's going to be. The answer is fourth. Oh, wow. Brown takes it to me. Oh, my god. All right. Come on, Sammy. Here we go. You've got to come back here, brother. You've got to fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, still possible, because there's five questions. So you can come back three, two, and win. Sorry. All righty. All right, question number three. And Matt, since you're in the lead, I'll ask this to you first. So you're at a slight disadvantage. On average, what percentage of a brown bear's brown shit consists of vegetation? What percentage of the shit is vegetation? Matt Brown? As in like grass and stuff and trees. Yeah, that's correct. Oh, hey, not salmon. I'm going to go nine percent. Nine percent. Wow, that's hot. All right, Sam Brown. What percentage of a brown bear's brown shit is vegetation? That's 15. 15. Fuck, I hope you got this, Sam. The answer is 90% vegetation. What? So Sam gets that one. Holy fuck. So they are vegetables. Don't they eat me? I don't know. They must eat grass and shit as well. Maybe the deers have got grass in their guts and shit. You fucking, you fucking. All right, two, one to Matt Brown. The comeback has begun, Brown. All right. Apartment number 11 slash 42 Brownsville Avenue in Brownsville, New South Wales, is currently for sale. How much is it? Sam will go to you first. Seven hundred and twenty three thousand. Oh, seven twenty three. All right, Matt Brown. I'm going to go five hundred and twenty thousand. Oh my God. I think I reckon Sam's got no properties worth five hundred thousand in Brownsville. Yeah, Brownsville is fucking very beautiful. The answer. Hey, Brown is four hundred and ninety five thousand. Matt Brown, Matt fucking Brown. Matt is up to a grand. Holy fucking shit, Matt. Look at him sitting there with a smug smile in his brown face. Sam, Sam, I'm so sorry, Matt, Matt Brown was on fucking fire this week. I've never seen him so confident and sure with his answers. Here, the brown is oozing from every orifice of his. It's fucking disgusting. Can't sorry. All right, Sam, thank you so much for partaking in our stupid little game. And no worries, boys. Thanks for having me. I hope you had a little bit of fun. And yeah, everyone, it's $1,000 next week. That's fucking crazy. I know. Thank you, Sam. You played well, but Brown is just being too brown. Yeah, Brown's you today. He was a better Brown. Yeah, he did. Thank you, Sam. No worries, guys. Have a good one. No worries. Thank you, Sam. Chat soon. Farewell, Sam. Fucking helmet. He sounded like a bloke from my work. Does he really? You're trying to do you like it for us? I was just like, oh, he's a good looking dude. But he's taken. But yeah, he just sounded like that's why I started asking questions. Him telling your workmates that would be so funny. Just like, mate, I went fucking head to head with this. I was like, we had the last name Brown for $100 last night. It was crazy. I've only seen the footage as well of Madden. This is kind of big. Well, I went to work. I was like, oh, yeah, I had a questionnaire comp against Jonathan Brown. They had a file player like, what? Why? I was like, oh, I don't know. Brown versus Brown. And then it just doesn't make. Everyone just sort of goes, oh, OK. Oh, man, very, very good. All right, guys, before we have a little chat to Locky, we have to get our most favorite primary segment out of the way, Matt. Oh, no. Do you care to press the button? It's three all, by the way, Locky. Yeah, it's three all. Is it this easy? Matt versus Michael, it's Matt versus Michael. It's Matt versus Michael today. Oh, I see. Matt versus Michael, it's Matt versus Michael. It's Matt versus Michael today. Yay. Come, come, come, have fun. Come, come, come, oh, what's it called? Have fun, come have fun. Have fun today. Bottle of cum. Oh, that was fun. And this is a segment where Matt and Michael go head to head all season long. I test them physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, everything sexually, and the better man gets the bottle of mints at the end to do with whatever the fuck they want. That's mints. I didn't say it. All right. Today, it's currently three all, OK? Matt has come back. Come back. Exactly. I said it how I said it. Come back. I said it, and I'll say it again. Today's competition. Oh, no. My neck's all fucked. Yeah, I dread this. You're both in luck. It is not a physical competition. Yes. Today's competition is a singing competition. The boys will take it in turns to sing the song truly madly deeply by savage garden to each other, just one verse. And then Locky and I will judge who the better singer was. Wait, wait, wait. So we've got the lyrics up? I've got the lyrics up right here in front of us. And there's no music behind it. No music for copyright. So that song, I'll be your dream. I'll be your wish. I'll be your fantasy. You must sing that to each other, that one verse. OK? All right, Michael. Trying to think of the approach I'm going to have here. And I will be looking for a connection too. So for eye contact, I'll be looking for sparks. It's not just based on your voice alone, all right? Is it Scissor Paper Rocks? See who goes first? Yes, it is. And you must sing into your mic as well. Can I get it? OK. All right, off you go. It's hard to be intimate about it when I'm stuck in this, so. Well, you don't have to use your body. You can be intimate with your eyes and your voice. OK. I'm nervous. I'll be watching. OK, when you're ready, we'll do Scissor Paper Rock. Fucking don't look at me like that. Oh, it's cracking. Demonetised. Scissor Paper Rock. Yes. You will be going first, bro. He always goes Scissor, doesn't he? All right, ready? My hands are sweaty. I'm nervous. I feel like a little gremlin in here. All right, ready? Yeah. Look at me. Look at me in the fucking eyes. What was the sound came in? Had a pittle. Oh, come on. So fucked. I'll be your dream. I'll be your wish. I'll be your fantasy. I'll be your hope. I'll be your love. Be everything that you need. I love you more with every breath. True madly deeply. Oh, what? Is that right? I fucked it up. I'll be strong. I will be faithful because I'm counting on a new beginning. A reason for living a deeper meaning. Yeah. Wait, am I still going? You don't have to. But I just really like that part. I want to stand with you on a mountain. I want to bathe with you in the sea. I want to lay like this forever. He's so Australian. Until the sky falls down on me. Sorry. That is a very good song. Very good. Very good choice. I'm not a very good singer. That's not bad. You tried to connect. I felt you found your confidence towards your idea. Lost it twice in there though. Yeah. And you don't have to point out when you make a mistake. You try and just glide over it. No, I want to be truthful to you. Oh, it means I've lost. All right, here we go, Michael. He's dressed for the occasion. Look at me, you freak. Dressed like a left wing. Left neck. I'll be your dream. I'll be your wish. I'll be your fantasy. I'll be your hope. I'll be your love. I'll be everything that you need. I love you more and every breath truly madly deeply do. I will be strong. I will be faithful. I am counting on a new beginning. A reason for living. A deeper meaning. Yeah. I want to stand with you on a mountain. I want to bathe with you in the sea. I want to lay like this forever till the sky falls down on me. I think if you didn't have that second verse, you're in trouble. Yeah, fuck, that's close. What do you reckon, Lockie? You came in strong in the second half. Yeah, Michael nailed about 90% of that. Yeah, I felt like, if you're... I didn't know the words. Yeah, maybe... Matt's stumble at the beginning, I think, maybe just... Just Michael, just... That was very close, though, boys. Very close. Michael, you are the winner of week seven. That's just the advantage of going second. Yeah, it's so true. So it's vital to be... I must say it's a very tough song to sing. Yeah. Just that bit of... You nailed the bit. Yeah, that was all weird, wasn't it? Very good. And Darren Hayes. All right, it's 4-3 now. It's 4-3 to Michael in the fucking Matt's... The Matt vs. Michael competition. Have you got all the competitions written down yet? Or are you just... They're competitions. And I see what I haven't tested yet and what physical aspect or mental aspect I haven't tested yet. Lockie's here. Anyway, Lockie's here. Welcome, Lockie. You can tell he's a bit fucking high. He's high as nails. A bit of weed in the car. Darren has some joints in the car, yeah. Have you been smoking heaps lately? Yeah. Has it been nice? Yeah. What have you been doing, dude? What's the... Oh, here we go. What's Michael doing? It's good. Dude, you should try un-muffled. What's that mean? Remove the pants. Oh, whoa. Oh, what? Oh. So eager to smell. Man, that is rock. Anyway, sorry about that, Lockie. Sorry. That's alright. Sorry. So how the fuck have you been, mate? What's been going on? Not... I don't know. Just working. You know, tripping away at the neon sign stuff. Oh, yeah. The neon sign... So Lockie is co-owner and you can see the neon sign behind us here, the fully actual sign. So if you have a business and you need some fucking neon signs, you can confirm that they are very, very good. What is it? Get lit neon. Get lit neon. That's the one. You're lit now. And he is lit right now. Yeah. So it's true. He sticks by his brand. Yeah. They're always stoned as fuck when they're making their signs. Half of them don't work. Just joking. Just joking. Sorry. Yeah. So the neon signs and then what? So you're just sort of doing shit for Jackson still? Yeah, yeah. What's like a day-to-day day for Lockie? I'll usually like wake up, first thing I'll look at my phone, see what's happening. Usually like a lot of WhatsApp messages like emails and stuff. And then I try to just nail out a few things before I get out of bed. Do that. Get out of bed. I don't know. Every day is kind of different. Yeah. There's no routine. Yeah. The very early day kind of starts the same because like any time before 10, I'm just doing computer work or stuff like that. And then I can be doing anything after that. Yeah. I couldn't even like... Do you do shits when you wake up? Yep. Like a morning shit every morning? Yeah. I have a coffee, yeah. I do a morning shit every morning. I do one every morning. And then I do like another one like two hours later. Yeah. And I'm just a one now. It's weird. Stuck to one. I'm like broken all over the place like one every couple of days. What? Really what? Every couple of days. 40 minutes before. I know someone who does the same thing. And I thought it was a lie. But then sometimes it's like boom one every day. And then sometimes it goes for like weeks where it's just like one every couple of days. It was 40 minutes today. It was not 40 minutes. Are they huge shits? Yeah. Like show me with your hands. I don't know. Like a pile like that? Like a temigotchi poo? Well like a football sized amount of shit? No. Like what? A volleyball? No. Tennis ball? No. Well come on, help me out. I don't know. Like a serving of spirit? I'll take a photo next time. Thank you. That's what I want. That's what you're getting into. So what's the latest shit? So Lucky's very always, he always knows what the next thing is. And he's always fucking messaging us about weird shit that's coming up. Like NFT shit, you were the fucking one of the first. Crypto stuff. What else has there been? He's got fucking sick bongs. He's got some sick bongs. He's always buying shit and then flicking it. It's just always like, you always make money in like the weirdest little ways. Have you always been like that? Yeah, ever since I was young, like when I was 12 years old, I got like 200 bucks for my birthday and I bought a lawn mower. First thing, it's on my mark, all of my mums Facebook and shit me with this lawn mower. And I just mowed lawns for 25 bucks. Oh wow. Wow. Of course. Holy fuck. Yeah, see I wasn't like that. He's got his dry mouth. Yeah. And I was just mowing lawns since young. And then I was like taking fucking cardboard boxes out for the takeaway shop for like 20 bucks a week. I do that every single day. I was just like, yeah, I always loved getting money for no reason at all. Yeah. I don't buy anything cool with it. But you had fish shoes? Yeah. Bought those. Yeah, little fish thongs. They're cute. Some people just are born without fucking like some people just hungry. People like to go to their concrete towers for 40 years straight. Well, they don't like it. But yeah. Some people just always find little avenues to make money. How's it, how's it with, how is it life with, with Jackson? Cause we're seeing your story sometimes. Man, some of the parties look so fun. We get so fucking jealous. We scream at each other and we fight and we just scratch. It's fun when you like meet these people. But I guess after a while it just loses like, I don't know, you meet after you meet so many people. Normal, I guess. Yeah. Like it's cool to hang out with them. But yeah, I don't know, but it's very fun, very exciting. And you get to meet so many amazing people and make like great connections. Travel the world. Like, it's very cool. What's the last bender you went on? Was there anything recently, right? Yeah. Anything silly? Just yelling the weekend. Any party tricks at the kick-ons? No. I was trying to choice a new drink out of the party. It was pretty good. What kind of a drink is it? It was like a cruiser kind of drink. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's like a sugar-free thing. It was pretty nice. So is that going well? Yeah. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, from what I've heard, he's done really well. Wow. Oh, they posted on the Instagram, they did like, they sold out in eight minutes. They did like a hundred grand in eight minutes. Whoa. Holy fuck, dude. That's very foreclining. That's hot. Did you get, so you got fully lit? Yeah, I just got fucked up and then smoked bong, spewed, went to bed. It's always after you just like drink, when you smoke bongs, you get so dizzy. You close your eyes and you're just running. Have you ever like greened out? Yeah. So many times. Dude, it's the worst. Edibles always get me. Always fucked that up. Yeah. After drinking and then edibles, yeah. Just like edibles, like in general. Like I buy this chick and she doesn't like size amount. You just got to kind of fucking. Just hope. That's why I probably like have a quarter of it first. Man, there's been some times where I've been like hours at the toilet. Just like, can't, can't even go to bed yet because I just can't close my eyes. Because it's just so far. Just got to hold on. So life is just so slow. It's like, yeah. It's been so bad before. So I've got videos of my phone just. That happened to you guys at Luke's place once. Oh yeah. James. Well, Michael was fine. James was fucking power vomiting and arching his back like a cat. Remember? Yeah. He's coming out like so projectile. And then I started playing with him. Michael runs over and starts picking it up and shit. James is just like horrified. But man. How is the cat? I was literally about to bring that. I was fucking spewed the other night. Heaps two. So you got into that. Well, I don't know. I was high before it. And I don't know if it was because I was too high before it. But I did like a, I don't know. A little line, I guess. And I was so dizzy after that for ages and just kept spewing. I don't know. Yeah. Did you have alcohol before? If you have alcohol. I wasn't drinking. Oh yeah. It's not before the party. Maybe because it's poison. Oh, it's not. It's fucking great shit. I could do that every single moment of my life. Oh my God. Matt hates. I heard Matt talking about the other day. Off about my cat experience for a reason. He fucking hates it. Matt won't do cat, right? Because it is one night. Because he saw Locky on one voice trip. Locky was fucking drunk. And did like a line of cat, like a big fat cat. It was even like cat night. I was so drunk before it. Yeah. And then like. And then Locky just fucking cahole. Oh, it was just playing with him. Like we took Locky to bed. And I just walked. We all just carried on drinking and shit outside. And then every time I'd walk past the room, I'd be like showing a past out. Locky his asshole and like. I was like begging Locky to fuck me and shit. That night was I remember just being a fan. So fucked up. Like every time I'd fall asleep and like go to a deep sleep. I kept thinking I was dying because everything was just so fucked. And I just could not move. And it was so scary. Really quickly. Because that was me waking myself up out of the death. Because I thought I was fucked. Locky's thinking he's about to die. That's what I legitimized. Okay, stop this. And Locky's fucking sprinting at him and showing him his asshole and shit, trying to confuse him as much as he can. That house is. That was a beautiful house. But it's what is it now? It's a fucking rehab center. So yeah, the house. That's right. I got a pool installed and everything in there now. I was just doing monologues to you. When everyone got into bed, I'd just be speeches after speeches. I don't remember. I don't remember shit. You're just wasting your time. Wasn't it? I remember it was daylight when I woke up and you were still there. That's not wrong. It's like you're just a fucking parasite. Michael just saw someone pass out. Just leeching on him all night. That's what he does. People start going to bed. And Mark will do that. He'll leech onto one person and be like, don't leave me. Yeah. Well, I knew because he wouldn't complain. He'd sort of come back to and he'd be poking it for a bit and then he'd go back out. So I had him for bits. Yeah. Who's if I climb it? Luke and Hayden, yeah. But yeah, we're 60 days sober right now. Wow. Has it been that long already? Holy fuck. 60 days tomorrow. It hasn't been that hard. How do you feel? Well, I was gone. Reheaps good. But then the hardship started. So it's kind of been ruined. Do you feel smarter? Yeah. Your brain definitely feels a lot sharper. I need less sleep is one thing I've noticed. Like I'm far more alert in the mornings. Yeah. Weed makes you so drowsy the next day. And I've realized weed because I was, even when we went big chunks, no drinking, I'd always still smoke weed or have weed at night. And I never got the deep sleep. Now I have fucking deep sleep minutes. It does make a big difference. Are you dreaming? Yeah. Yeah. Horrific nightmare. Can you tell us fuck? Fucking awesome. I had one with Michael and James in it the other day. Do you write them down ever? No. I don't write them down. I think it's good to. Yeah. Because then you can, when you're in that dream again, you remember you're in that dream and then you can turn it into lucid dreaming. Oh, really? Is that why? Exactly. Wow. Best thing you can, better than any drug ever in this whole world is lucid dreaming. I swear to God. Fine. Ask me if I've ever done it. Have you done it? No. Yes, I have. Just kidding. Yeah. I remember, we used to write, because Michael got really good at it. I used to write a word on a piece of paper downstairs and wouldn't show him so that when Michael was in a lucid dream, he's going to see if he could go downstairs and read it while he was asleep. Because it starts with astral projection. And then through astral projection, when you're outside your body, you can turn it into lucid dreaming and create whatever you want. And you thought you could see that paper? Dude, I used to, no, I didn't get downstairs. I always flew up through the ceiling. But I would be floating above because we shared a bed. I'd be floating above my body and seeing Marty asleep next to me. There's some whack shit. That was so weird. Man, I miss those days. See, mine came through sleep paralysis. I had one time. That's it. One time I had it. It was sleep paralysis. And I had no control of the float. I literally shot through the atmosphere. Like instant speed. You can feel the wind on your face. And then suddenly you come into like a space and then you can control. But I couldn't see my room. Yeah, I've had sleep paralysis. I never did astral projection. Sleep paralysis is fucking terrifying. But the key to it is when you're in that state is when the dark energy sort of negative feelings come towards you. Accept it. You accept it and laugh at it and enjoy it and laugh at the like shadow man coming towards you. And then you can sort of slight, like you start to lift off through your body. Imagine like there's a rope in your arms come out and you pull yourself over to your body and then you start floating and then you fly and then you can turn this universe into whatever you want. It is better than real life. And if I could go there right now and leave you cunts forever. I would fucking do that. Would you leave you miss though? Nah, I can't leave that much. Take it. Sorry. What's the name of the guy whose shirt that is? I don't know. It's the married at first sight. I don't know. I just saw it on someone else's story. Oh, Tim. Denzel? Tim. I think he's got a long, I saw his profile. He's got a long hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know his name. He's from the Bachelorette. Oh, probably. I got off that evidence based train. Yeah, I saw him. Yeah, I thought it was his. How's your boxing on, Locky? You're still doing a lot of boxing. How often are you boxing now? Every week. How many times? Probably like two, one or two sessions throughout the week and then spying every Saturday. Wow. So you're getting scared? Depends on fighting. I need to make someone's rib the other day. What? Oh, really? Yeah, you must be going for spying pretty hard. No, it was just timing. And he hadn't been boxing for that long. Oh, no. Yeah, I felt terrible. Yeah, of course. Did you buy him like a gift? I haven't seen him since. I just told the train at it. Say sorry. Say sorry. Send him my best. Yeah, Locky is fucking, I've seen you boxing. Yeah, Locky's been really good. Yeah, sometimes I'll work like I'll verse bigger people and I'll be pretty scared of it. Are you going to have a fight one day, do you reckon? Yeah, one day. I don't know. I just keep like, I just keep training until then. Just enjoy it. But the annoying thing about boxing is like, when you want to have a fight, they just put you with people who have been training at roughly the same time. Yeah. So it's like, you can't get an upper hand on these cunts. If I just keep training, I'm just verse and people have trained, you know. Yeah. I just have to lie. Surely all with all these YouTube boxing things going around. Oh yeah, that's a bit different. Yeah. I'd love to get one of those. Yeah, that would be, dude, that would be so fun. Imagine fighting someone who's only just started boxing. Box for like eight weeks. Is there any social media call outs you'd started? If you could bash anyone in the business, who would you want to bash? Yeah. I think that's what I was kidding about. I don't know. I don't know. I'd find some people here in Australia. Yeah. Maybe it would be funny. Sorry. I don't know. Sorry. But next question is, when's the last time? Fucking hell. We're going to be here a while. When did you, have you, when's the last time you sharded? I can't remember. You don't know? Has it happened this year? This morning? No, not this year. Not like kick-ons one morning or a party? You just bit too much liquid. I just shit like shit my pants. I just don't, I don't know. You don't do that? It's kind of like a thing. I could feel like if I was like, felt like I need, I would just go to the bathroom. Oh, okay. Yeah, same. To be honest though, I didn't start like shitting myself or shitting until after 30. Wait, is this a thing that I'm missing? No, man. No, that's real. Same with me. Mine of all happened after 30. Yeah, because I feel like the same in my 20s. Even when I had really bad diarrhea, I was able to still control what came out. But now I can't. That first time I, oh man, like a year ago, I remember I had a really bad gut issue and thank fuck Mon was away that night. I was just lying in bed and I just woke up and there was just shit everywhere. You didn't even know we're in your dream like going to the toilet. Well, I just must have farted or something. Oh, right. Just like that. Have a smell. Have you ever like actually like got a little bit of poo doing those? Yeah. You've done them hundreds of times now. Oh, I think I remember that. He shed on my face. Yeah, there was a little like, forgot about that. So anyway, so what's the plan? What do you want to be doing? How old are you now? 24. 24 years. So what do you want to be doing by the time you're like 30? Do you feel like life's going fast now? Yeah. Remember when we went to your 21st? It's been a long time. Yeah, I know. When I look back at those times, it feels like only like a year. Like, you know, not that long ago. You're coming up to mid-20s now. Yeah, I know. Mid-life crisis. I don't know what I want to do. I have something like, I like doing so many things. I'm always just doing random shit. Like I'll just be like, smoke a man, like meats or get really into plants or like at the moment, I've been like into Spanish for a whole month, every single day, learning Spanish. Really? Yeah. I don't know. Why is it fucking... Who the fuck does that? Because like, imagine at the end of the year I just like had to learn to language. I can fucking slow see. Wow. Why would you not be bilingual? And it's like, not even that hard. Just half an hour at age. Chippewa, I wake up and I do that in my morning routine. Docevesa, pop of all. Pop of all. I don't know, please, please, but I don't know what the first bit. I said two beers, please. Oh yeah, man. I'm fucking... I'm not that far yet. I just learned like, you know, the general grammar shit. Yeah. Gracias. I can see you like owning like a business eventually. Yeah. I don't know what... Yeah. Eventually I just want to be making good money and like passively. Yeah. Passive money. Not having to think about it. Like eventually. What about content creation? Do you ever want to get more into that? Or is it more like... I don't know. I used to love making videos, but now my passion for that's kind of like, I just done it for so long. Like ever since I was like fucking 18, I've just been editing vlogs kind of, you know what I mean? Like all just content creation. Yeah. Like even my own content I really like that into it that much. I feel like filming funny shit here and there, but nothing really. More like business making I like doing, but I know you need the social profile to help with that shit. Yeah. Well you have that now. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking come. Yeah. When's the last time you saw your mom or dad naked? I can't remember. It has to be a long row. Long row. Like I'm trying to remember. I can't, it must have been, I must have been a kid. Yeah. Would you rather rip one of your mom's breasts off or I'm going to say it kill your dad. Rip the breasts off. Okay. He'd rip one of his mom's breasts off. You know how we always lie to you, Lucky? Did you think that there was something weird going to happen today? I don't know. I didn't actually think about that till now. Yeah. We should have done it. Yeah. No, I didn't think anything funny is not films the podcast. It just rocks up. No one's here. We filmed it yesterday bruv. And put that in there. That is so funny. Just be me. I completely forgot about the podcast until you rang me. Yeah. I had such a busy day yesterday. We're driving around some fucking like country singers. Yeah. You being or urban Keith. Who was that guy? He's like a big country singer. Yeah. Yeah. He sang at CMC. Jackson get to meet all these people he's always like fucking all these famous people always just like he ends up just hanging around with I think I don't know somehow they started DMing and then he's was that CMC in my back there yeah was it like is that a big country festival massive huge did you guys get lit I wasn't I didn't go Jackson ended up going I was still fucked from the night before but Jackson just he loves his country yeah what's it like filming Jackson's only only fan shit sometimes I don't film he only filmed one put his first ever porno third point of view and then he didn't like it so he just started to appear and then like the first video that first video I filmed of them I filmed me filming it so I had like a tripod yeah shot of me just holding the camera you know you just hear like sex happening in the background I was gonna do like a day in the life kind of like video thing I still got the videos on my phone yeah he hated it from that one out so he just appeared smiling at him as you're doing they weren't watching me just didn't like the way like the third person look like your whole body yeah true what about I like you've have you because you just take photos for and shit right yeah yeah was she ever this shit we're doing nudes and shit did you have to do those for yeah yeah sometimes I take a like topless photos about it I just want to get my jealous I don't get jealous oh she got colon cancer that's what's going on see if you didn't vomit to be alright is there someone we can lie to right now all right so we're about to call Locky's cousin and say that he's cars broken down to see how he reacts reacts really if you help him yeah can you come grab me I'm fucking broken down like 20 minutes from my name Michael's so like 40 minutes for you yeah I'll tell you my location yeah what's wrong is fucked smoking really smoke right yeah we can't do that I love our little communication that yeah yeah that's so that is gotten that's gotten down to the conversation going back to him it's actually come back on and then we'll jump in and say he's been lied to it's I think it's a thing there's small flames is in the oil is the oil I don't know can we'll catch fire fuck me just take up a step back I'm so much yeah well catch far so yeah you've been lied to bailey look he's fine he's cuz fine bailey he's here with us holy shit dude that was very done oh bailey you fucking we just saved you two hours to drive a man we were considering letting you do it we're considering you guys are so helpful it's lovely you just said yeah yeah I don't know what he's gonna have a head on with a truck oh sorry about that bailey you go back to enjoying the way you can speak into the mic Matt I don't know why Matt told you that very good all right well let's let's move on let's um you're welcome to a quick yeah yeah of course of course let's have a quick and we're back back I wish we had kept right now would you do it if you had it right now maybe cats okay for the heart I'm doing the hundred days regardless can it pass over halfway already yeah yep 59 days today oh I don't know if you don't check your Facebook messenger by the way no not much fucking this you're in so many fucking chats and shit I've added you to a group Marty's box is it called Marty's box 12th and 13th of May yeah I got names good all right guys sorry it is time for a Q&A so I'm gonna jump in just step in in this bit because we will be doing Mondays around we're gonna skip Q&A today that way we have questions okay let's just do a two or three today and then we'll do it like two or three okay convince me because it's always nice you know it's just nice to answer some questions if you want us to answer your questions comment your question on the mighty Michael fully actual YouTube channel we answer the most liked questions first after you comment your little question have a scroll through and like the other questions that you want us to answer what do we got brown question is from Dylan oh hang on sorry questions from Dylan B Brown probably probably a brown Marty has bozzly growing haven't seen the old fellow in a while was he was he was you come here darling oh here he is he's just the most fucking incredible fucking animal he can literally sense when I'm stressed like if I get anxious or like the computer's not working or something while we're here working he will literally get up and just sit on my lap and it's just like you put it in a perspective it's like things aren't so bad don't don't worry about it he's the most beautiful animal I've ever encountered in my life and he has a part of my soul I love him too all slept with him so beat him just got fit in that tiny gap he likes a little cuddle every now and then but not too much like other dogs just like you know they smother you always leaves you wanting more yeah you always have to smother him yeah you got to initiate with boss oh man he's nearly 10 he's 10 in like two weeks I've sucked him are we allowed to say that I had sex in front of him many many years ago I used to have sex in front of Boswell at home and you always stand up stand up in my room and just look at me when he was like young guy and be like what the fuck is going on and me my ex ex girlfriend took care of him or not he was gonna throw some he wants to go as fuck really yeah I did a couple of times I don't know about him he's size but he just put in roll every now and then you'd like you need to sit up and then you go he fully does sigh when he just doesn't like things that are going going his way he's a very expressive animal but anyway next question next question from peter haunt in 20 years time where would you boys like to be 20 will be fucking 53 the podcast hopefully will be pretty massive by then and I'd like to have a web our website just full like like hundreds of other content creators and full of videos that are just real fucked up like a Netflix of just fucked cunts and a big block of land to do fucking cool shit yeah and like yeah so we just do like one massive video like a movie every month yeah that would be awesome rather than doing like fucking so many we do like 10 videos a week at the moment it's a for client next question is from green smith 25 what is your favorite memory of bozzly what bozzly questions um fucking hell favorite memory brilliant when he got sucked off by my we're just gonna say that's a joke it is a joke yeah that's a joke and like it was it wasn't like you're actually suck yeah it was one palm just put your mouth over it yeah I was trying to keep him warm I don't know if we can say this Connor you judge can we say this we're we're we're gonna get like the RSPCA on it yeah probably get PCA look we didn't do it I did not do that if you showed it even just that in court we did not do it I mean saying he looks and he's doing air quotations there are fucking set of mousin around there no bozzly knows that it was consensual anyway favorite memory fucking I don't know why there's there's nothing that really stands out oh there's been when we first started getting high I was like he always knew he'd always fuck with us he would go on a lick if you do a line of coke he'll go on a licking rampage on your face is he knows you're high and he gets high licking your notes so Michael is sitting there with his mouth open and just let bozzly lick the inside of his mouth there was a time Emile was really high and he's sort of passing out on the couch at your old house yeah yeah you were there for that and I come over if you called it and then bozzly I was like oh imagine if bozzly stood on Emile's dick right now and then literally 10 seconds later bozzly gets up on the couch and slowly just while maintaining eye contact with us puts his paw on Emile's dick and just puts his weight on it hilarious we full spirit animal talk to him one of the best moments I've ever had for him though was I pulled up at the park once to visit everyone and he somehow knew I pulled up and ran from like 300 meters away we always knew that you were here because he we couldn't see the car park remember that when that park would go to watch the at the end of the day sunrise sunset and bozzly just fucking take off in the other direction and I'm like oh where's he going and like 300 meters away he'd fucking smell Matt Brown's mints come running at the park of depression have you ever ever gotten really close with bozzly Lachlan he always fucking walks away yeah dude I try to get up personal with him he's one of those dependent when I'm high he's got it he's got it like he's got to know you really well to be like to be affectionate with you yeah he doesn't give it away easily I have to let him lick my face like be able to like pat him or like hug him or something yeah well at least if he licks your face that means he likes you yeah because he's got to like pat him and he just fucks off yeah he hates getting pat it he ain't no easy slot are you bozz you want to talk bozzly? just sort of sighed a bit like it's different something to say buddy good boy darling look his face never used to be white either it's used to be fucking black full black he's getting old old bozzly alright and final question is from Poo Pap Wee and the question is if movies is Matt's thing and Michael's reviewing Matt's favorite films what is Michael's thing that Matt can review? piss? well I was thinking the similar thing yeah what's something that Michael does is one of his things that I could review piss or the fable games well what else is Michael like what are you playing them I don't know review Michael playing what else is there maybe beers or a hoarse choice of food I could tell you I could give you a beer to review or drugs different drugs to review yeah I could give you good drugs actually I promise you if I ever get out of the concrete tower full-time and I can do drugs I will do the review of drugs for you would you do it on the podcast? yeah really? like in Matt drug reviews on the podcast yeah for Michael I've got to get out of the tower first I would love that I would love to see you munted CMT first drug imagine him munted be safe we've never seen you munted that's fucked I've never seen your face cave in like that you've got to take the drug to Michael oh yeah I'll do that do that with you Matt this podcast would descend into madness if we all just started pumping MD oh man we should definitely one day do an MD podcast yeah it'd be fucking shit I reckon so we always like remember the videos when we're like oh let's get really high and we'll do shit and then we always end up getting real high and then we just can't like we're just too fucked can't structure the sentences your face just goes and it never looks that funny on camera even though we're pissing ourselves laughing the whole time yeah it's cranky it's something Bosley everything's okay darling Bosley Bosley it's okay I promise I promise it's Luke it's just Luke and Hayden Bosley okay alright wow such a good guard dog if you'd enter a house if you heard that on the other fucking side oh yeah Clemente what Clemente alright one more or that'll do that's it all right that's the end of the fucking alright now alright we're gonna move into we've got two final segments left remember guys we don't do this every week but we do have the pubo box where you send in we want you to send in your pubic hair to our P.O. box two five six taken four zero one eight and for the season finale we will glue everyone's pubic hair to Matt Brown's skull no no no we're not gluing it to mate you're making me hair stop changing the rules to Matt Brown's skull alright so send in your pubic hair we're gonna shave out I wanna see it it'll be very pretty you guys gotta come to the finale this week it's gonna be fucking crazy I'll do it but first we have Michael's movie reviews and this is where Matt gives Michael a movie to listen to watch and their movies that Matt loves and Michael must watch them and then review them as a normal human being because Matt is an abnormal human being with a strange movie taste so I made him review your arm his face he turned into the fighter I can't do it with you I've gotta coach you how to do it oh man smell that alright so I made him review a movie called The Horse Soldiers which is a John Wayne Weston I used to watch when I was like a little girl and this movie is from the fifties it would be around there it's like a it's a fucking piece of shit it's from the fifties it's an old film anyway I cannot wait to hear did you watch it all did you Michael take it away anything later than the 90s can get fucked Matthew Matt knows this shit no it would be hard to watch as someone from now were you raped as a child answer it honestly I don't know I think it's a no man this is the worst one yet and I've realised this is shit for everyone else because I guarantee you that no one in this podcast that listens to this I've never even heard of it if you've seen The Horse Soldiers I'd be impressed and Marty put it to me today it makes sense any film made before 1990 should be just just turned off cancelled shit there's no CGI that looks alright even the 90s ones are like what the fuck but I'll tolerate it because Titanic is the best but like dude you can't give me shit like that I didn't watch the whole thing I watched like you didn't watch the end bit where they all do the charge dude you know how that there's a gun battle in this stupid it's rated G by the way and it's meant to be like good would have been R back in the day oh my god dude there's a battle in this movie where the southern the movie The Patriot great film Mel Gibson Heath Ledger the wish version of that but that wish version has like fucking massive no heaps of fucking mental issues they're not even related no they're the same film they're exactly the same film it makes no sense anyway it did look similar the southerners are versing the fucking it's some civil war shit okay they get out of the train in this town all the fucking one teams about to shoot them all instead of shooting they just run up the fucking street and then they just get picked off with their stupid fucking flag who the fuck in war ever holds a flag and runs forward they did in a lot of old don't do that have a gun you don't have a fucking flag you know it's so pride filled we know who you are we know you're the other side you know that movie The Patriot this is where you're relating it aren't you well it's the same film because it's done they you know they'll retreat if the flag retreats but he runs their flag forward they don't retreat oh man pushing them back anyway his passion pisses me off even more there is at the beginning okay imagine I'll set the scene for you here Marty they're all like this fucking platoon I like the idea of war back then in the in the aspect of like I know it feels like you're not going to get like zone-striked or anything like that or drone-striked you mean or like a nukeskin yeah I agree it's a war I enjoy but like there's this point where they get their platoon photo done and the fucking the stupid photograph man and this is like oh I must have another is that that guy dude I wanted to bash yeah I didn't like him either he says this he goes that man in the white shirt moved yeah roses a red violets a blue the camera is looking straight at you and takes the photo and thinks he's nailed something good then like that's a cool part in the movie then there's like just I've decided any any olden day people are shit they're bad actors too they just they look shit they talk shit and they look old everyone's old in that film even if they're 20 they're like 50 because it's like weird old like stupid glitch fucking not pixelated shit is it weird to think that most the people in that film are probably dead I was about to say that good is that a weird thing that you're watching probably all of them most likely yeah yeah dude yeah 100% it's a good thing 20 years ago so surely no one younger than it was okay and another scene the scene where she's trying dude she shits you doesn't she she okay she fucking faints for some reason for something faints and they can't wake her up when she goes to try and yell at this other army the opposite armies on the other side of the water and they're hiding and she goes because she's from their army and they're trying to keep her quiet because she'll tell them where they are and she gets knocked out by just a touch yeah yeah I do know I know what you're talking about I've also questioned this he like sort of pushes her back and she just the next minute she's out no she wants attention from the other army so she wants to get fucked by the blokes across the river sort of and then basically then they go the second later he goes out to the water and they're not there anymore you don't walk that quickly dude they're on horses it's not fast forward world everyone in the film I wanted to bash every single person no women child and man all needed to be hit it was fucking shit and I hate you it's a minus it shouldn't it's a minus 100 wow that's bad it's the worst film you've given me I can't do that from now on the films have to be known by the fucking audience or it's shit because they have no idea this is about me and the films that I like yeah but still listen just like Tony cause you're unhappy about it that's the role of this segment next week you're gonna think it better oh sore I've got a film that I genuinely thought you might enjoy but now that you've thrown out the whole 1990 thing I'm worried but I generally think you'd enjoy it what is it? it's about aliens that's all I'm gonna say did you think nope was good? no it was so shit I thought the idea it's the same guy I did like get out get out was great but nope can get fucked I thought the idea for that was good and then I don't know I just didn't sorry anyway so are you ready for your next film? so Steven Spielberg oh man not a fan he did a film did he do Avatar? no that's James Cameron Cameron did he did this movie ages ago that my dad made me watch when I was a kid and it fucked with my brain heaps anyway it's called close encounters of the third kind have you seen it? I think I've seen it it's got that beautiful resident evil girl Mila Djolovic it's an older film I haven't seen it I think I've seen the fourth kind oh yeah that has Mila Djolovic that's where they take control of the body I remember so much shit from movies I don't know what you're saying this is a lot older so what encounters of the third kind close encounters of the third kind has it got zone strikes in it? no close encounters of the third kind what year is it from? fuck I don't know maybe like 80s close close and nice alright I'll tolerate I didn't mind Terminator 2 cause it was James Cameron that made it did Terminator 2 get made by James Cameron? yeah he did Titanic he shits all over Steven Spielberg but I'll see what this is like it doesn't matter that Steven Spielberg made it it's the film I want you to watch it's 80s what did you give that horse one? that was just a childhood movie that I used to like what do you give it out of 10? it's pretty old and I have to admit it's probably like a 5 maybe a 4 but you missed my favourite bit where they charge across the bridge it's fucking great this jingle did you like the song? I left my lover a letter in a hollow of a tree I told her she would find me in the US Cavalry loved it just stop doing she like that please alright so you know what you want to watch next week close encounters of the third kind I'm really excited for you to watch it and it could bring you back some more like maybe we could be friends again and maybe you might drop it down to 1985 as your films I mean instead of 1990 I need to know what year that film is 2000 alright that is the end of Michael's Movie Reviews which brings us to our final segment this is the last week where we're going to have just one prank call starting on Monday we're going to do a bunch and just hopefully we'll have some good ones sorry we'll guarantee a higher quality prank call rather than just fucking cause we never know good evening my name is Arnold Fein I call a little embarrassed in toilet men's toilet but no toilet paper I ask they say hello toilet paper but no other person in toilet with me so I ask maybe someone bring me some toilet paper and sneak underneath the stall I won't be a moment I can send a cleaner down okay can you tell Harry I need to hurry my wife she's sick she needs me home we have pick and the pick outside flicking around and so okay thank you I appreciate hello what you say about me I hear you men you speak me face to face hello hey hey what you do huh are you in your toilet maybe are you sheets on the ground what you do I have fuck your toilet am I a sheet in who you're in a sheet in your you're in you know huh yeah that's I vagina still yeah there's cleaners on the way to with the toilet paper for you you tell her she need a big fic there's a shit on my ass and I need a hurry okay I need a hurry you tell her to hurry I need the toilet paper now I was so hoping that man would come on. Yes, and he oh you'd have a face off with him All right, I'm sorry about the quality of the prank calls lately guys Do they sting you for the prank calls there? Yeah? Yeah a lot of people a lot of people really fucking love the prank calls and feel really I feel I like I'm letting a lot of people down right now, but I don't give a shit It'll be better next week, right? Anyway guys, it's getting real late. We were filming our podcast now starting on Mondays next week. So in theory Quality should lift because we're gonna have a lot more time now So fucking we're gonna even go out on the streets and do shit. It's gonna turn into a full-blown show. I'm a brown How am I gonna go on the street in this? Well, I don't know you just have to have a fucking have a fucking bring the room It's funny Man I find it real funny Like I'm just Failing hanging on here You look like a fucking fuckwit Yeah, I just don't all wait see what happens. I did it doesn't feel good Alright guys that's the end of episode number seven don't forget to like comment subscribe gives a five-star review on Spotify and tell Everyone about it everyone we're getting age-restricted so we need you to tell everyone everyone all right We'll be back next week bigger better than ever because we're the best where the best with the best with the best