 The Jack Benny Program, presented by Lucky Strike. Be happy, go lucky, be happy, go lucky, strike be happy, go lucky, go lucky, strike be happy. If you've been missing smoking joy and really want some fast, try better tasting Lucky Strike for pleasure that will last. Yes, Lucky's taste better than any other cigarette. Yes, Lucky's taste better than any other cigarette. So many folks don't like their smokes and that is really sad. For Lucky's mildness and rich taste would make them very glad. Sure, because Lucky's taste better than any other cigarette. Friends, when we say Lucky's taste better than any other cigarette, we mean just that. Not just as good, but better. For Lucky's always give you real mildness and rich, true tobacco taste. A perfect blending that fine tobacco and only fine tobacco can give you. And LS MFT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. That's important because a recent 38 city survey shows that millions of smokers are not happy with their present brand. Now those smokers and any smoker who's the least bit discontented should switch to Lucky Strike. Yes, friends, for complete smoking enjoyment, be happy, go lucky. Because Lucky's taste better than any other cigarette. Be happy, go lucky, go lucky, strike today. Remember, Lucky's taste better than any other cigarette. Program starring Jack Bed, Rochester Dynasty and yours truly done. Well, ladies and gentlemen, let's go out to Jack Benny's house in Beverly Hills. I know he's home because his car is in the garage. Now, if you just follow me, we'll go in and pay Jack a visit. And you needn't ask me to leave because you're going to sit there and listen to what I've got to say. Oh, better not go in. Seems to be some sort of a commotion going on. I haven't told you half what's on my mind. And believe me, I'm talking for everybody in this neighborhood. Why, when you first moved in, we thought you were a nice, gentle, kindly old man. But before we knew it, you had the mortgages on all our houses. I don't blame you for not saying anything. All you can do is sit there with your mouth open. And why? But you know that that last trick you pulled was the cheapest, most abominable thing anybody ever did. Imagine putting a woman with seven children out on the sidewalk because she missed one payment. Rochester, turn off that radio. You have just heard another episode in that thrilling story, The Mean Old Man. In tomorrow's episode, you will hear the truth. Thanks, Rochester. I don't know why you listen to that program, boss. It always upsets you. Well, I don't know where they get those fantastic ideas. I mean, nobody can be that cheap. Well... And that corny title, The Mean Old Man, it's ridiculous. Mr. Benning's resident star of stage, screen, radio, and the only laundry service that was wasted a commercial on you. Livingston, boss. Thanks. Hey, how do you feel? What? I'm great. Mary, that's awful. Oh, your temperature. I thought you meant the doctor, Bill. You're feeling better. And Mary, what? Oh, you're welcome, Mary. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now, I'll call you tomorrow, honey. Goodbye. What you thinking for, boss? Well, everybody's been sending her flowers and fruit and candies, so... I just thought I'd be a little different. What did you send her? A bowl of chili. You know, it's good in this nippy weather. Anyway, it looks like Miss Livingston will be back on the program next week. That's good. If you don't need me anymore now, boss, I'll go in the library and finish working on your scrapbook. Oh, fine, fine, Rochester. You know, one of my biggest thrills is when I show my scrapbook to people. I know, boss. That's why I put the picture of you shaking hands with the King of England right on the front cover. Good, good. What's on the back cover? An ad, you sold the space to Manushevitz. Manushevitz is wild. I had a hunch all day. The face, I went over it with him a thousand times. Manushevitz is Manushevitz. Rochester, paste that picture of me playing the violin on the inside cover. Oh, I can't. We've got that reserved for certain. What are you laughing at? You've got the only scrapbook that's been handled by Baton, Barson, Durstin and Osborne. Well, you go in the library and paste all my reviews in it. Yes, sir. I'll get it. Be my love, da-dee-da-dee-da-da-da-do. Be my love, da-da-da-da-dee-da-do. Well, hello, Mr. Brown. Hello, Mr. Benny. I'm sorry I'm three days late with a rent on our house. But here it is. Oh, thank you. By the way, Mr. Benny, our hot water heater is leaking. Do you think maybe you could have it fixed? Well, see, plumbing costs are awfully high now, you know. I guess they are. But it's been months since you promised to paint the living room. Well... I fixed the hole in the roof myself. Well, good, good. Well, I guess I'll be running along. Goodbye, Mr. Benny. Oh, oh, by the way, Mr. Brown, how's your wife? I mean, what's she doing now? Oh, haven't you heard? She writes that radio program, The Mean Old Man. Yes, I listen to it every day. Your wife has quite an imagination. Yeah, yeah, imagination. Goodbye, Mr. Benny. Goodbye. Who was it, boss? Mr. Brown from Long Beach. Oh, you know, he's been complaining a long time about a hole in the roof. It's fixed. It's fixed. But, boss, I don't remember you sending anyone down to fix it. If I say it's fixed, it's fixed. If you don't believe me, listen to tomorrow's episode and you'll find out. By the way, Rochester, is my television script arrived from CBS? No, not yet, boss. I don't know what's holding it up. I've got so much memorizing to do. Now, that must be it now. Come in. Oh, hello, Mr. Benny. Oh, it's you, Dennis. Come on in. Thank you. How do you feel, kid? Oh, fine, thanks. How are your folks? They're fine, too. That's good. Especially my father. After six months, they finally took the cast off his foot. In a cast for six months? Uh-huh. Dennis, what was wrong with your father's foot? Oh, nothing. He stepped in a bucket of cement. For heaven's sake, look, kid, I can understand your father stepping in a bucket of cement. I can almost understand him standing there and letting the cement dry. But why? I mean, why would he keep it on his foot for six months? Well, my mother made him. What? When he stayed out late at night, he couldn't tiptoe into the house. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Imagine your mother making him keep his foot in a bucket for six months. Oh, two weeks ago, it came in handy. How? I was invited to a masquerade, and Papa went as a potted palm. Do me a favor, will ya? What? As long as you've got your mouth open, sing. Don't talk. Okay. Man of chevets is one. Gee, thank you. You know, I can't understand you, kid. You come in here, talk, you sound so ridiculous. And then you sing. And when you sing, you're a completely different person. What are you, a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Uh-huh, and each one has its own show. Long, Mr. Benny. Oh, say, Mr. Benny. Now what? Can I have your permission to do a guest spot tomorrow in a dramatic program? Dramatic program? What's the name of it? The mean old man. They got a wonderful part for me where I fix a hole in the roof. Do it, do it. Remember my television script hasn't arrived yet? Not yet. Well, I'm gonna call CBS and see what's holding it up. To me, there's something bothering you. What is it? First one, quartet, there, man, because I'm here. Well, that's ridiculous. Commercial. Haven't you, boys? And you should get more money than the quartet. You've been with me 17 years. But Jack Sentiment shouldn't enter into this. After all, there are four of them. But, Don, every year you've been picked as Radio's outstanding announcer. I know, Jack, but now let's be fair about it. They should get the same salary I get. Don, if you feel that strongly about it, there should be an adjustment. I mean, how much am I paying the quartet now? $100 a week. Well, Don, if it'll make you feel better starting next week, I'll cut you down to the same. It's amazing that I didn't think of that myself. Well, Don, now that it's all settled, what's this song the boys have? Well, Jack, you know, in the past few weeks everybody seems to be catching cold. So they're a little worried about you and they want you to take care of yourself. Oh, isn't that sweet. Let's hear it, fellas. Well, I saved a little money by cutting down salary. But I lost a little, too. After all, I'm his agent. Yes, sir, how'd you know I was gonna call it? Beverly Hills Beaver, Joey, Stevie, and Bud. I'm Mrs. Broderick. Won't you come in? Thank you. I hope we're not intruding, Mr. Benny, but the boys insisted I come here. You see, Butch idolizes you so much and... And what, Mrs. Broderick? It's like this, Mr. Benny. Butch has a tooth with a cavity in it. It's gotta be pulled. And he's afraid to go to the dentist. Is that right, Butch? I'm sure if you told him to go, he would. You see, you're his hero. I am? I'm kind of thrilled myself. Talking to the man who used to play football under the name of Red Grange. You want to be just like Mr. Benny. Maybe someday you, too, will be on the Harvard rowing team. Let me see your tooth. Oh, Mr. Benny, were you on the Harvard rowing team? Butch. Butch, let me see your tooth. Mr. Benny, tell Butch's mother about the day you... Butch. Butch, let me look at your tooth. They won the rowing regatta, knocked a home run at the Yankee Stadium at the same time. Please, let me look at your tooth. Wing, and still hit a home run in the Yankee Stadium. Well, uh... Rochester, what are you doing here? I'm coming down to the dentist's office with this. It's just around the corner, Dr. Kerns. Oh, oh, Dr. Kerns. Anyway, I'll get Butch in the dentist's chair. Well, I'll be glad to go along. Oh, by the way, Mrs. Broderick, how much... do you expect to pay to have Butch's tooth pulled? Well, I'd say about five dollars. Five dollars. Oh, Rochester. No, no, boss. The plight is a rusty. I just wanted to tell you I'm taking Butch to the dentist. Now, come on, Butch. Yes, yes. Which one is to have the tooth pulled? The one with the yo-yo. The one with the propeller is Mr. Benny. You in a moment. Thank you. Now, look, Butch. Butch, after you get your tooth pulled, you should see your dentist twice a year and brush your teeth twice a day. Remember that, Butch, and you'll never have any more trouble. Hey, Butch, be sure the dentist gives you some of that stuff Mr. Benny invented, that penicillin. Look, Butch, there's really nothing to it. Having a tooth pulled is a very simple... Next, please. You may take him in now, Mrs. Broderick. Come, Butch. I'll be right back. Certainly. Now, look, Doc, I want to show Butch that having a tooth pulled doesn't hurt at all. Well, it really doesn't. I know, but we've got to convince Butch. So I'll sit in the chair, you make the lead that you're pulling my tooth, and I'll make a big nothing out of it. That's an excellent idea. All right. Come, sit right down in the dentist chair. I'm going to have my tooth pulled. Mr. Benny, open your mouth. Watch this, Butch. Nothing to it. Would you please open your mouth again, Mr. Benny? The bicuspid, it has to come out. The doctor doesn't hurt. I don't want to get my tooth pulled. Pulling your tooth, that will be $5. You can deduct it from next month's rent. Come on, kids, let's get out. Now, let's listen as our happy-go-lucky singer salute the month of March. Lucky's taste better than any other cigarette. In rain or shine or snow this Lucky's taste better than any other cigarette. Lucky's taste better than any other cigarette. Now that is a fact. For fine tobacco and only fine tobacco always gives you that perfect combination of real mildness and rich taste. And LS-MFT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So if for any reason, you're not completely happy with your present cigarette. If it's too mild or too strong, switch to Lucky Strike for complete smoking enjoyment. You'll get mildness, smoothness and taste. All in one great cigarette, Lucky Strike. You'll agree, Lucky's taste better than any other cigarette. So be happy, go lucky. Make your next carton, Lucky Strike. Be happy, go lucky, go mine. Lucky's taste better than any other cigarette. Ice bag. Yes, sir. Then get me two more aspirins. Yes, sir. You know, boss, never mind that. Get me the ice bag.