 Dedicated to the strength of the nation from Hollywood, your theater of stars. Proudly we hail your theater of stars. Now here is your host, the well-known Hollywood showman, C.P. McGregor. Thank you, thank you, and greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to your theater of stars, where the motion picture world's finest talent appears in plays you'll enjoy. Billy Burke is our proudly we hail star and appears in a brilliant comedy, The Fabulous Delears. Miss Burke portrays the mother of a very confusing family and does so in her usual excellent manner with hilarious situations. And now the curtain rises for act one of The Fabulous Delears, starring Billy Burke as Cynthia Delear. The Delear family was comprised of four. There were three children now growing up, Nancy, Pete, and Christine. And there was the mother, Cynthia, and that was what perplexed the neighbors. How a mere four could create such constant pandemonium. He has to say that Cynthia Delear and her family were merely eccentric, is bearing very unkind to adjectives. Let's drop into the Delear living room and observe them in person. All but mother who hasn't arrived home yet. Why doesn't someone answer the door? Nancy? Pete, you open the door. I'm washing my hair. Sorry, I'm busy. But you get it, Christine. No one from the same of yourself. Well, you're certainly a revocin' festival robot like a washed out beachcomber. I thought you said you were busy, nature boy. I'm busy relaxing, dear sister. I didn't think anybody lived here. You call this living? What do you want? Well, if I must be explicit, your furniture. Are you Mrs. Delear? No, Miss Delear. Look, would you mind saying what you said over again? Well, it's very simple, Miss Delear. I represent the firm of Hackett and Chase. They're lawyers and they represent... Don't tell me. Let me guess. Oh, let me. Our creditors. Right. And I've come to collect on the assorted notes they hold. Or you take the furniture? That, plus the house, the grounds, and other tangible properties. Oh, no. If you promise to take tone deaf over there at the piano, it's a deal. Pete! Oh, this is awful. I'm sorry, Miss Delear, but that's the way it is. Please understand it. It isn't anything personal. I just happened to be working my way through law school with this job. Oh, dear, there's always some trouble. Well, you might as well come in and wait for Mother. Thank you. Sit down anywhere you like. The furniture's yours anyway. Oh, listen to that. 88 notes to choose from, and she can't find a good one. Christine, for heaven's sake, if you're going to play, you don't have to play so loudly. In any way, the man's come for your piano. What did you say? This man wants some money or out everything goes. Oh, what? Oh, oh, pardon me. This is my sister Christine Delear. I'm Nancy, and this is Pete. Hi, my name's Newell, John. Hello. Well, why on earth didn't Mother pay these people? Could be. She didn't have any money. I read somewhere there are people like that. Don't be flippant, Pete. You know perfectly well there's money. At least there always is on the first of the month. This is the tenth. No payments have been made for two years. Two years? Oh, dear, this is terrible. And Hackett and Chase have reached the limit of their patience. You can't blame them. No, no, I suppose not. Oh, dear, I wish Mother would come. Newell, can't we give you something? It's a tea. There's no tea, I looked. Coffee? No, we're out of that too. You don't have to make conversation, you know. I'm here on business. Oh, but, well, there's no reason we can't be friends. No, no it isn't. You know, you're really all right. I am? You really are. Oh, well, I, oh, I just realized my hair. I haven't finished drying it. Oh, I like it that way. It reminds me of, of limp noodles. Uh-uh, a conquest, Nancy. You'd better take advantage of it. Well, so long as you're not taking the piano today, I think I'll go meditate on my concerto. Dead lost, Christine. Children! Children! Oh, here's Mother now, Mr. Newell. And Newell, I'm warning you. From now on, anything can happen. Oh, children, I've had the most wonderful afternoon. I, oh, oh, what a charming young man. You must ask him to stay for dinner, Nancy. He came to see you, Mother. Well, he can still save dinner. Oh, but children, I want you to see what I've brought home. I found him in the park. Mo? What did I tell you, Mo? Mo, come here. I want you to meet everybody, and I want everybody to meet you. Yes, ma'am. Good heavens. Who on earth is that? His whole name is Mordecai Smith. That's right, folks. But my friends call me Mo. You guys can call me Mo. Mo can cook. You mean really cook? Isn't that wonderful? As soon as he told me, I said, Mo, you shouldn't live alone. We need you. Yeah. You know how it is living alone. You bathe around a while, and then you go off your feet. So I took up cooking to take me mind off me stomach. He was head chef at Leavenworth. But, Mother, that's a penitentiary. But of course it is, darling. Mother knows that. Mo was sent up three times, weren't you, Mo? Yeah. But I always got out on good behavior. But what was the use? I only had to go back again. Oh. After all, a guy has to eat, and nobody would give me a job. You know how it is. Yes, yes, indeed, yes. We know. But as Shakespeare says, sweet are the uses of adversity. No, Mother, not Shakespeare now. Which like the toad ugly and venomous wears yet a precious jewel in his head. And this hour life exempt from public haunt finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. Gee, that was swell, lady. You can sure really don't. You know any more. Know any more, my dear man. I was one of America's foremost Shakespearean actresses. Mother, you must listen to me for just a moment. Mr. Newell wants to talk to you. Oh, how nice. I shall adore talking to Mr. Poole. Uh, the name is Newell. Oh, I'm sorry. And we'll talk in a minute, but first I must get Mo to work. Want that I should make you a cake for dinner? You can bake a cake? Sure. Show me a oven. Brother, if you can produce a cake and I bear an excuse for a pantry, you're a magician. Peter, our larder is loaded. Show Mo our beautiful kitchen. Come on, Mo. It's up to you to produce a cake. I'd be right in, Mo. Oh, dear, I'm so happy about him. He's going to stay here and cook for us. And ex-convicts live here? Oh, why not? The poor man has to live someplace. Mother, it won't matter about Mo because he won't live here. You won't live here. None of us are going to live here. Mr. Newell has come for our house. Good heavens. So early in the afternoon. I wouldn't think of letting him take it now. Everything's so messed up. And besides, Mo's using the kitchen. Mother, you don't understand. Mrs. Deleer, the collection company I represent, has a lien. They're coming tomorrow afternoon to take over the furniture and everything. Oh, dear. Why didn't you say so in the first place? Take our house and furniture? What are we going to do? I don't know, Mrs. Deleer. But my good young man, you must think of that. You just can't come dashing in and taking everything out from under us, making some without some provision. Well, I simply won't go to that clock hotel. It's grim. Don't you think it's grim? That lobby, for instance. Now, when I was studying interior decorating... Yeah, Mrs. Deleer, you can't blame Hackett and Chase. I beg your pardon. Mother, that's the name of the firm he works for. It's not up to them to take care of us. We've got to take care of ourselves. You know, they haven't been paid a cent on the mortgages for two years. Well, really? Do you have to rush things so, Mr. Drew? The name is Newell. Oh, sorry. But actually, must we all be so downright serious about this simple little matter? Oh, Mother, it isn't a simple little matter. We've got to raise money somehow to pay them, or out we go. That's right, Mrs. Deleer. And you look like such a nice young man. Let that be a lesson to you, Nancy. Never trust a good-looking young man. Mrs. Deleer, I hate this as much as you do. Oh, it's a very pretty speech. But it doesn't give us back our house. Why, I know, but... That's another thing. You simply can't take the house till after next Wednesday. Next week is Boy Scout Week. Boy Scout Week? Yes. Mother, what in heaven's name is that to do with taking our house? Well, because I felt I should do something about it. I don't ever want it said of me that I don't do my part in the building of youth. Ah, yes, yes, I know. But, Mother, what's that to do with Wednesday? I just dropped in the scout headquarters. I invited the scout master to lunch and he's bringing a Boy Scout along. Remind me to get that youngster's name, dear. All I can remember is that it began with a T. Oh, no, no, no. I want to have place cards. Oh, Mother. Mother, we can't even feed ourselves, let alone a hungry scout master in his charge. Well, still, we must do our part, dear. Oh, we mustn't be selfish. Anyway, I'm sure before they take the house I'll be given time to think this over. I hate to remind you, Mrs. DeLair, but you've had two years to think it over. Well, I don't believe in making snap judgments. Yes, I can see that. Besides, it wouldn't be fair to you to hack it and run or whatever their silly names are. I'll call you tomorrow, Mr. Crue. Newell. Oh, yes. Well, tomorrow then, and we'll have a nice long talk. Goodbye. Oh. She's some woman, your mother. Yes, yes, isn't she? Oh, dear, I don't know what to do or what to tell you, except come and get it whenever you're ready. Well, maybe I can talk to my bosses. Maybe there's some way you could make payments. Look, none of us are in any money. We don't know how. We only know how to spend it. You see, we get an income, a small income, but that's gone almost as soon as we get it. Oh, Mr. Newell, you've been very nice, and I'm afraid you must think it's pretty incompetent and silly. Oh, but the liars are kind of delirious. Oh. But I, uh... I'd like to come back and see you. I mean, when I'm not on business. Nasty! Yes, Mother? Tell Mr. Newell not to slam the door on his way out. Most cakes will fall. Oh, and don't you go fall for that nice, Mr. Newell. Oh, Mother! It's all right, really. Besides, you finally got my name right. The curtain falls on Act I of the Fabulous Delears starring Billy Burke as Cynthia Delear. Our curtain rises in Act II of the Fabulous Delears starring Billy Burke as Cynthia Delear. The incredible Delears about to be dispossessed from their home in a foreclosure threatened by Hackett and Chase don't seem to be too much concerned about the crisis. Led by their whimsical mother, Cynthia, they have gathered around the dining room table and are enjoying the cake prepared by their new chef, Moe. It seems the Leavenworth loss was the Delears' gain. Boy, what a cake! Gosh, folks, I'm glad you like it. Oh, Moe, it's grand. We live like this from now on. He takes pies, everything. Moe says he can cook everything. Yes, ma'am. At Leavenworth, I cook for 3,000 and three meals a day, too. 3,000? Think of that. Moe? Moe, I've got an idea. Children, it's a wonderful idea. Now, Mother, please, no more ideas. We're in enough trouble as it is. But this is an idea that will save our house and furniture and everything. We'll open and in. We'll call it the cafe de deux. How vulgar. Anything that makes money is not vulgar, Christine. If Moe can cook for 3,000 people, why not 50? Wait a minute. Maybe Mother's got something there. But imagine us running an inn. How can you imagine? Well, other people do and make money. We'll have Mr. Newell bring his two funny little men over and we'll surprise them by proving that we can serve a perfectly wonderful lunch and then they'll tear up that lean thing or whatever you call it, that they have to tear up when they take your house away and then they'll let us stay on. Pete, I think you're right. But it does have something there. I'll be hostess. I've got a lovely tea gal that will be just the right thing. Nancy can be cashier. Pete can wait on the table. Christine can... Well, what can Christine do? Just as long as she doesn't play the piano, she can do anything. So, Mother, for once in your life, I really think you've got a paying idea. Well, of course I have, dear. If I do say it, my love, your mother's a very clever, charming woman. Now, let me see. Oh, dear. I wonder where we should sit, Mr. Hurkett. Hurkett, Hurkett. I mean Hackett. Oh, Pete. Mmm, lunch smells wonderful. Pete, where shall I put him? Where should you put who, Mother? That bedful man whose name begins with an H. The one who's coming in for the, you know, for the house. Oh. Well, the house is practically his. Put him at the head of the table. Perfect, Pete. A perfect idea. By the way, Mother, what became of my black silk dressing robe? Oh, I gave it to McCruchy over a cloak. Or Kyushio. I never heard of him. Oh, don't be tiresome, Pete. He's perfectly marvelous character. He lived in Elizabethan times and had a violin temper. He was run through with a sword, but died beautifully. You don't mind, do you, dear? Dying beautifully? Oh, no. Loaning your robe. We're doing Romeo and Juliet at my dramatic class. I think costumes help such a lot. Mm-hmm. You haven't got enough places at the table, have you? Well, of course I have. One, two, three. Oh, the boy scout. He scout must. Boy scout? Yes. Remember, this is Boy Scout Week in our city and we must do our part. I'm sure Boy Scouts are always hungry, so I invited one to lunch. Only I still can't remember his name. Yes, it begins with a T. Yes, T. That's right. He must be a very fat boy because the scout master said he would take a lot of food. Well, I guess milk can take care of that, all right. Well, then I must find Christine. She only knows one piece, the tale of the Vienna Woods. Be sure she plays that or we're dead. Oh, I'll make sure. That's so lovely with lunch. I always consider Strauss an excellent aid to digestion. Christine! Christine! Good heavens. Oh, there they are. Oh, dear. I didn't know it was so late. Nancy answered the door, darling, right away. Yes, mother. Oh, good morning, gentlemen. Good morning, Mr. Lear. Mr. Lear, this is Mr. Hackett, the head of the firm. Mr. Chase couldn't get away. No, don't remind all that. No, hurry. Just want to look things over, miss. See what condition furniture's in. Hmm, cigarette burn, just as I thought. Now look here, now. But, sir. And that cane. See that needs bending. Oh, and a wine sting. Disgraceful. Totally irresponsible people. I don't see. But every house, sir, has minor accidents now and then. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But they've been repaired. Immediately repaired. Sit in time. Save nine, you know. Valuable adage, remember, my boy? Hey, hey, Mrs. Lear. Good to see you. Them church down at the market forgot to do. Oh, excuse me. Who's this creature? And stop waving that knife. Who, me? If I was to see that butcher, I'd use this knife. No, no. Do go back into the kitchen. How do you do, gentlemen? Not at all. This is Moe. You mustn't mind him. He's just out of Leavenworth. A little unrestrained. Leavenworth? Moe, this is a plot. Moe, never really killed anyone. Except accidentally. And you'll forgive him even that after you've had lunch. Lunch? Why, who's thinking about lunch? Well, that's what you're here for. Didn't you know? Oh, dear, dear. Why don't people tell people things? I never eat lunch. My Libby, you know. Oh, I'm sorry. But how lovely. Because that leaves more for him. The boy's scout. There's one coming for lunch. I told the scout master that the members of your firm were rather acting as hosts to him because you know this is Boy Scout Week. Oh, well, really. That's something of an imposition, madam. You really are, you know. After all, it is your furniture and your house. And in a manner of speaking, your food. That certainly makes you host. Well, I hadn't thought of that. Then everything's settled. You stay. Oh, of course. You will. How lovely of you. Just put your briefcase over there and make yourself at home. I can't see you right away. Oh, excuse me. I won't be a minute. Then we'll have lunch. What's that? What is it? It must be an earthquake. Now, keep your heads, children. Don't under any falling bricks. Oh, no. No earthquake. It's Boy Scout. Mother, what are they doing in our yard? I don't know. I guess it's the scout master with that young master teeth. Heaven, I forgot to get his name. Oh, it's as though he's brought friends. Friends, he's brought a whole troop. Troop? Well, that was his name. Well, how wonderful of you to think of this young man. That's his boy. That's his troop. Good heavens. No wonder the scout master was worried about food. Oh, mother dear, you didn't invite one scout. You've asked a whole troop of them. A whole troop. Scout master Hill and Troop, reporting for lunch, ma'am. Oh, how nice to see you, mister, all of you. Now, you must meet my family. This is my daughter Nancy. Say hello to scout master Troop, dear. The name is Hill, Mr. Lear. Glad to know you, Mr. Hill. And my daughter Christine. How do you do? Glad to know you, Mr. Lear. Pete, my son, and Mr. Newell, and this charming, charming gentleman who I so delight in. Mr. Hackett of Hit and Run. Correction, please. The names are Hackett and Chase. I'm Hidditt. I mean, I'm not. Oh, what am I saying? Oh, well. What's in a name? A rose by any other. Wood smell. Now, everybody just relax. Boys, the place is yours. Dally, as you will, it's a cafe de Lear. Oh, not bad for a motto. Take over, Nancy, darling. I must away to the kitchen. Oh, but, mother, you can't leave me like this. What am I going to do? What can you do? If we don't feed everybody, we'll be the last thing stuck at the town. You've got to do something. You've fed 3,000 men at Leavenworth. You've only got to feed 50 here at De Learin. Only one thing stopping me, ma'am. The grub. All I need is a truck garden and a Texas steer. Wait. Why didn't I think of it before? No, listen to me. You will do this. And we'll have all the food we need. Now, listen carefully. Yours well, Mrs. Lear, and thank you. And thank you, Mr. Hackett. Give our thanks to Mr. Chase, too. Well, you got through it all right. Both our names. Ah, wonderful troupe. Wonderful boys, such leadership. Oh, what citizens these boys would grub to be. Hackett and Chase are proud to be your host. And as for our lovely hostess. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Those papers, Mr. ... No, forget it, forget it, Mrs. Lear. Forget it. From now on, we're really partners. It's Cafe De Lear. Any woman who can cook for a whole troupe of unexpected guests. Oh, he's nothing. Oh, yes. And show them such a good time can do anything. Mrs. Lear, the town is yours. Oh, bless you. Oh, Mrs. Lear. Oh, he's a darling. He's very sweet. You know, Mother Darling, I guess I was wrong. Once in a while, you do have an idea that works. Well, of course, dear. If I do say it myself, I think your mother is a very clever woman. I want to say this, Mrs. Lear. This has been one of the most pleasantest days in my whole life. Oh, yes, yes. And if this has run you ... Well, run you into any extra expense. Now, you just charged it to me. Oh, how sweet of you. But don't worry, since you were the host, I have already charged it to you. Wasn't that clever of me? The curtain falls on Act Two of the fabulous Deleur, starring Billy Burke. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Billy for her fine performance and contribution and to compliment the supporting cast for its able assistance. Be sure to listen to your Theatre of Stars next week. Until then, this is CP McGregor saying thanks for listening and Cheerio from Hollywood. The presentation of the United States Armed Forces Radio Service, The Voice of Information and Education.