 You're taking your mind off of what you really need to work on to grow yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and you're going, I'm just going to watch Netflix for two hours today. I'm going to talk about why you should stop numbing yourself. And you might be sitting there going, well, Rob, I don't numb myself. And I'm going to go, Hey, yeah, you do. We all do, but I'm going to tell you why we numb ourselves. We're going to talk about what numbing is and we're going to talk about how to get past it so that we can stop numbing ourselves so that we can actually start moving towards the direction we want. So let me ask you, and I'll answer this question. What is numbing? Numbing is just basically the easiest way to think of it is it is anything to occupy your mind so that you're not thinking about what you actually need to think about to overcome something that you've gone through or something that's happened in your past. So the thing about it is, is numbing is, is a very interesting thing because there are some forms of numbing that are very obvious. They're very visible and we as people in our society tend to judge other people for the visible forms of numbing. So let me give you an example. Drugs can be a form of numbing. So someone who is a drug addict can be, you know, in turn is usually numbing themselves from some form of trauma or something that they need to work through. And, you know, I spoke about this on a couple of episodes ago with Gabor Mate. Gabor Mate is a psychologist that says that every trauma comes from, or every addiction comes from a trauma that has not been resolved. So drugs, we can look at someone and say, Oh, that person's a drug addict. You know, they need to stop being a drug addict. What's another example? Alcohol, right? So we can look at someone and say, Oh, that person is an alcoholic. They need to get their together. They need to get their life. Like it's very easy to see these physical forms of like they're an alcoholic, they need to stop being alcoholic. They need to get past it. We can look at somebody who is, uh, you know, food is another example of numbing. Right. We can look at someone who's severely overweight and be like, Oh, they're severely overweight. They need to get it together. But in reality, when you look at these forms, and I'm going to tell you other forms, those are just some of the physical forms where you can visibly see someone who's overweight. You can visibly see someone who's an alcoholic. You can visibly see someone who is a drug addict. And you can say they need to stop doing that thing. What they're doing is they're numbing the feeling of something that they don't want to feel. They're numbing the past trauma that they have. They're norming the depression that they have. They're numbing the feelings that they have through either food or alcohol or drugs. Now that's easy to look at them and say that and to be, Oh, I'm going to judge them for it. But there's many other forms of numbing that are not as easy to see. TV is a form of numbing. Just deciding that you're going to watch Netflix for two hours every single day is a form of numbing. You're taking your mind off of what you really need to work on to grow yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and you're going, I'm just going to watch Netflix for two hours. So TV can be a form of numbing. Now there's nothing wrong with watching TV. Let me say this. There's nothing wrong with any of these things. What's wrong is when you're using them to numb the feelings that you don't want to come in contact with, it's like the phrase. The cave that you're afraid to enter holds the treasure that you seek. So the cave that you're afraid to enter holds the treasure that you seek. So going back into, you know, you were emotionally neglected by your parents or something, that's a cave that's not easy to enter, but your treasure that you seek, the personal development, the growth, the stopping, the limiting beliefs, the finally believing yourself, all of those treasures come from going back into that cave. So TV could be an example of it. Sex can be an example of it. Being a workaholic can be an example of it. Mine was workaholism. Like I was working when I was younger. I was working 110 hours a week every single week for three years straight. Why? Because I had a bunch of trauma from my childhood that I just did not want to come in contact with. And I was working and working and working and working. I didn't realize it at the time. I didn't realize until like seven, eight years later that what I was doing is I was actually running from the things that I needed to work through. And I was telling myself, Oh yeah, I'm running a business. I'm just too busy. I'm running business. I'm just too busy. But in reality, what I really need to do is I really need to look at myself in the mirror and start to work on myself. And if I would have done that, my, my business would have become so much easier that I would have actually been able to work less. So becoming a workaholic can be that way. And what's interesting about that, people can, can demonize being an alcoholic and being a drug addict. We can demonize those things. But then what's happening in our society. It's really interesting is that this hustle culture or the workaholic mindset actually is praised in our society. So it's actually even worse because you're praising the thing that somebody needs to work through. So workaholicism can be another really big form of, and this is the reason why I think it's so big is social media. Now there's nothing inherently wrong with working. There's nothing wrong with, uh, with food. There's nothing wrong with alcohol. There's nothing wrong with, uh, social media. But when they're used as a form of running from the actual thing that we need to work through, that in turn is, is where it becomes the issue in seeing that as like, Oh, I'm going to spend two hours a day on, on social media instead. So why do we do it? We do it because ultimately at its simplest form, we're trying to either run from something or we're trying to keep our minds off of something. And this isn't, this isn't like a conscious thought to do this. It's actually a subconscious thing that we tend to literally run from something by being busy doing something else. You know, I have had this issue myself and I have many friends that have had this issue and know people who have this issue where that it's hard for them to take a vacation because they're so addicted to working that the downtime is miserable for them because they're finally coming in contact with the things that they need to work through. It's like, it's like when you're working, working, working, working, and then you get downtime and then you get sick. It's like your body is finally gone. Now we have time to actually heal. Well, in that downtime is when you're supposed to heal from the things that you need to heal from in order to make yourself better. So we're trying to keep our minds off of something, you know, what you need to work on in your life. The traumas that need to be healed. What's wrong in your life? You know, sometimes we get so busy on Instagram and we get so busy on social media because we don't want to think about how we're working a job that we hate. And so it's easier instead of starting to figure out like coming to terms with like, I've really don't enjoy my job. My job is not what I want to be doing with my life. And maybe you don't hate your job. Maybe it's just like, you know that it's not what you're meant to be on earth. Like maybe you want to be a painter. Maybe you want to be a musician. Maybe you want to make jewelry and sell it on Etsy. And that's what makes your soul come alive, but you're working this day job. And so instead of actually looking at how can I get out of this day job and start to build this passion and build this life that I want to, instead of going through those hard thoughts and those hard feelings, we're like, I'll just go on Instagram for a couple hours. And it's a subconscious thing. Once again, it's not a conscious thing. You know, it's, it's what's wrong in your life. That you might have a job that you don't love. Maybe you're in a relationship with somebody that you ultimately know you shouldn't be in a relationship with them and you know that the hard feelings of having to get out of that relationship with them are way too hard to even think about. And so you can be finding other forms of numbing. It could be once again, drugs, it could be food, it could be alcohol, it could be TV, it could be Instagram, it could be any of those things versus actually going, you know what, I've got to look at this relationship. I've got to see if this relationship is serving me at the highest level and I've got to look at the relationship and see if it is serving them at the highest level as well. And those can be really tough emotions to start to go through. So instead of going through those emotions, we're like, let's just go ahead and watch Netflix. And so instead of going through those emotions, and then after going through those emotions knowing, oh my God, I'm now going to have to make a really tough decision and have a really tough conversation with this person. We're like, screw it. Let me just keep myself busy versus actually doing the thing that needs to be done. Maybe it's the fact that you're living your life and you've been living your life, not to your full potential and you're sitting there and you know that it's not to your full potential. Your truest deepest self knows that it's not to your full potential, but it's a lot easier just to, you know, it's like, as if you're, you can't see me if you're listening to the podcast, but if you're watching on video, it's like I'm looking over this way to the left and all to the left is all of the bad things that I need, not necessarily bad. Let's say it's the bad relationship that I need to get out of and it's sitting there and it's sitting there and it's sitting there. So instead what I'm doing is I'm turning my head to the right and I'm looking at anything else that I possibly can to keep me busy so that I don't look to the left because when I look to the left, it's like, oh, that's not what I want. And so I'm looking to the right, looking to the right, looking to the right. I'm looking to the right through going out on the weekends and partying because I have this relationship that I am ultimately realizing is not for me. It's the reason why I think a lot of people like to party on the weekends and do what they need to do on the weekends is because ultimately they don't within their downtime, they don't want to think about the job that's not helping them grow. It might be, like I said, that you're not growing, living up to your full potential and your full potential is over there. It's sitting to the left. It's like you hate your job. You hate what you're doing. You know that there's something better for you. You know there's more for your life. It's over the left. It's over the left. It's over the left. And I'm like, screw it. I'm just going to look to the right and I'm going to go ahead and scroll on social media and do some mindless stuff so that therefore I don't have to look over to my left. And ultimately, looking to the right is some form of numbing ourselves from the feeling or the thoughts that we truly need to come in contact with. They're just sitting out of our eyesight and sometimes we need to just take our head and turn a little bit and go, Oh, there it is. What do I need to do to make my life better? So what's the solution if we find ourself in this situation? We're going, Oh, like there's a lot of you there listening now. They're going, Oh, yeah, I might be numbing in some ways. Okay. Well, then what's the solution? Let me ask you this. If let me ask you a question. If you fast forward 10 years from today and your life is exactly like it is right now, would you be excited about that? Would you feel like hell? Yes. If it's a yes, keep doing what you're doing. That's amazing. But if you look at it and you say, if I were in this relationship, 10 more years, would I be excited about what we have created and what we've done? If the answer is no, might not be the right relationship for you, or it might be the right relationship for you, but you just need to change certain aspects of the relationship and you need to have a real coming to God conversation with that person so that you can change into the people that you want to be to support each other for the next 10 years. And if you fast forward your job 10 years from today, maybe you get a couple of promotions, maybe you get a little bit of a raise, you get a little bit more money, maybe you get a company car. Would you, if you fast forward a 10 years be like, yeah, this job is a, this job is a hell yes for me in 10 years. If it is beautiful, it's not sounds like something that you need to work at. Maybe it's your potential. Maybe you're looking over and you say, Hey, if, if I had only, if I had capped out of my, if today I have capped out at my potential and I ain't got no more potential left and I'm going to stay at this potential for the next 10 years. Are you like, hell yes, that's amazing. Or are you like, no, there is more for me in this world and I don't want to live this way anymore. If you fast forward 10 years, would you be excited about it? If not, well, now we've got to figure out what it is that we're numbing so we can start to get past it. You know, one of the things that I always hear people say is I don't have enough time. Time is the biggest cop out that exists. Oh, I don't have enough time. It's so easy just to say you don't have none of us have enough time. Oh, I don't have enough time. I've got this going. I've got this going. I've got this going on. I did some research so I can give you some stats as we go into today's episode. The average person spends two hours a day on social media. Maybe you spend more, maybe you spend less, but the average person spends two hours a day. So let's just go off of the average person. That's 730 hours a year on social media. If we fast forward 10 years, like we're talking about that 7,300 hours on social media over the next 10 years, if it's just at two hours, if you're more than that, it's more than 7,300 hours. It's a lot of damn hours. That is 304 days of your life in the next 10 years. Almost an entire year of your life over the next 10 years will be dedicated to scrolling on social media. Is that what you want? If it is cool, keep scrolling, but if it's not, maybe it's time for us to make a change and see how we can start to find more time to make changes in our life. The average person spends four hours a day watching TV. This is including the weekends, I'm sure probably there's more on the weekend. So they average it out of the course of the entire week, four hours per day. Guys, that is 608 days of your life over the next 10 years on watching TV. If you want to keep doing that, keep doing it. But if you're looking at going, man, there's so much more that I could do. If I spend two hours a day on Instagram and I spend four hours a day watching TV on average, that's six hours. That's a quarter of my entire life on Instagram and Facebook and Netflix. What if I were to find that time? Because we don't have time. I don't have enough time to change my life. What if we were just to decide to find that time to change our schedule around to actually work towards what is that we want and create the life we want to in that time? What could you replace it with? Could you replace it with doing the painting that you want? Could you replace it with building that business that you want? Could you replace that time with undivided time for your kids where you throw the phone in the other room and it's just time that you're going to spend on developing the best damn humans that you can? Undivided attention with maybe it's time on your personal growth. Maybe it's time with reading. Maybe it's more time meditating so that you can work on your inner peace. Maybe it's time journaling. Maybe it's any of those things to work on your personal growth and help yourself become the best version of yourself. So to say you don't have enough time as a cop out and we could go through every single person's schedule. If I were to sit down with you and go through every 15 minutes of your life for an entire week, there's definitely time in there for something to change your life to build that business to work on yourself more to bring out your full potential to get into the relationship or to build the relationship one that you currently have into what it is that you want. You have time. Stop telling yourself you don't have time. That is the ultimate cop out because you're blaming something externally versus looking inward and saying how can I make a change? So you have to become very self aware of how you're spending your time and how you actually are numbing because we're all doing it in some form of some form of another. I'm doing it in some sort of way. You're doing it some sort of way. We're all numbing in some way. But if we want to actually develop ourselves and the people that we want to be, we've got to stop numbing and go back and look at those things that might be hard to look at so that we can start making change in our life and we've got to actually take the time to do it and stop lying to ourselves and say that we don't have time. We always have time. You just have to find it. And as I always say, you can either you can either find a way or you can find an excuse completely up to you. If you don't find a way, you will find excuses to why it's not happening. So you can take out a journal. You can read a book. You can buy a course. You can learn something or do something new or work on that passion that you've been wanting to master. You can work out. And then you also have to ask yourself the question, you know, if we're always constantly, constantly doing stuff, some people are going, well, I just don't want to be bored. Let's dive into that for a second. What's wrong with being bored? People think being bored is a bad thing. Being bored is literally the mind wanting to do something because we are addicted to doing something. We're all addicted to doing things. So if you get into a state of boredom and you're like, this is this is uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. I'm bored. What's wrong with it? You're just simply existing. Like, I don't see my dog being like, oh my God, I'm really bored today. No, he's just really present and he's really good at existing and he's really damn cute at existing. Right? So that's that's what a dog does. And you might be like, well, yeah, but I got to pay the bills. I get it. I understand that. But what's wrong with being bored? What's wrong? It's just simply existing. Nothing. There is nothing wrong with it. The problem is that we have addicted minds. We're constantly addicted to stimuli to doing this and doing this and doing this and doing this. And eventually we have to come to a point where we look at our lives and we say, you know what, this isn't what I want. Maybe I have been numbing. Maybe there are some things. Maybe there are some caves that I need to enter because the treasure is in there. I need to go seek it because ultimately we're all numbing in some sort of way. The question is number one, why are we numbing? What do we need to overcome? And number two, what can we do to get ourself past that numbing to start to work on the future that we actually want to create? Because ultimately life is going to continue on. The question is, are you going to build the life that you want or are you just going to drift from place to place and just hopefully maybe we'll end up being lucky. You've got to decide to create the life that you want versus hoping that the life will be created for you. And that is what you need to work on to stop numbing.