 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself Have a coke And now Claudia oh you whistle much better since we've come to the country much much better Well, there's a reason to whistle when you live in the country. It's competition He just doesn't want to be outdone by that old crow who lives in the barn. Isn't that it mama in duper to blink In duper to what such highfalutin talk mrs. Brown. It's the air David It's gone to my head. So you're a country girl at head, too Oh, yeah, I guess I always was just smelly air. Oh David It is a wonderful morning But say do we have to drive you to the station the same way every morning? This is the shortest and best way. Oh, I think you'd be much more fun to explore. I love exploring Yeah, we'll explore when we don't have a train to make you don't make trains you catch them What are you going to do today? Should we tell him mama or surprise him? Well Your wife is going egg hunting today. Mr. Norton. Yes, Mrs. Brown Tell my wife that Easter is long since gone. These are not those kind of eggs These are everyday eating eggs, then why do you have to hunt them? We're not going to hunt them. Oh, mama You always make everything sound so complicated. I know exactly where we're going to find these eggs where it's very simple The carpenter, you know Mitch. Mm-hmm. Well, his brother has a chicken farm Yeah, I didn't know a person farm chickens. Well, um eggs are raised aren't they well you raised me and you didn't You weren't raised you sprouted go back to the eggs Claudia. It's much safer. Well, I'm going to buy them. Why? Because we need eggs What's the matter with the ones we've got you ate them and they were delicious Why can't you just get more of them because I got those in a store, David? And we're in the country now, so I don't think we ought to buy eggs in a store. Hmm. I Failed to understand your reasoning anyway. They're probably cheaper not bought in a store. How do you know? Well, they must be because they haven't been anywhere's yet We are buying them right out from under the hand so to speak so we don't have to pay for their train fare your daughter, Mrs. Brown Is an economist? I believe in economy. That's what you mean. You believe in bargains Do you know how to find this farm? Yes, we've got the directions written down here since look, I'll read it to you Why David? I'm sure even you could find the place. Oh, you flatter me Look now it says drive down route 120 a till you meet old Forks Lane Then turn right to you go over a brook and it becomes three roads. No, three roads Yes, the brook. I don't try to confuse me Let's see where was oh turn left at the red barn go up a hill a round a traffic circle and get on to route 9 Wonderful how they number all the roads up in the country, isn't it only you could count aren't you there yet? Almost then there's a general store on the left and I turn right It's funny how you always do the opposite and then it's right down at the bottom of the hill. It's called hen pecked farm Where you'll probably get eggs that laugh out of the other side of their yoke. Oh Some yoke David well aren't those directions simple. It is very simple now. Let's see start on route 120 a Say where is route 120 a don't you even know that I'll find out. Don't worry. Don't worry. I won't worry But just remember darling my train comes in at 6.03 and you've got to meet I'll be there and listen You just remember you bring home the bacon to go with my farm eggs darling Now you look on the right of the road mom and I'll look on the left I feel a good deal safer if you'd look at the whole road Claudia I'd be seeing a little sign pretty soon The man at the garage said that route 120 a was just down this road a bit Well, I certainly hope we find it soon. I'd like to get home in time for lunch Seems like we've been driving around for hours and hours and hours. Oh Look, it's a quarter after 12. Claudia. I'm hungry. Oh my What was that? Well, it sounded to me as if your motor were coughing. You don't think it's caught cold. Do you it's a lovely warm day Well, I don't know anything about cause all I know is that I'm tired from driving around in this wilderness And I'm hungry and it's past my lunch. Oh, and I I don't want to see another egg as long as I live We haven't even seen one worse mark. Oh Listen to that. I hope it's feeling all right Claudia Claudia The car seems to be slowing down Oh this stupid old car See they're running into people or getting flat tires or slowing down for no reason Well, it's it's obvious to me. This car is tired. So am I you've been running around for four hours looking for a city Old road with an egg at the end of it. I don't blame it. Shh mama. You want to give it ideas? Oh Come on just a few more yards to the top of the hill. Maybe I ought to get out and push. We're almost on top Mama we are well, you'd You'd better stop the car and give it a handkerchief. I don't like the sound of that coffee Mama, what do I do now? Just think what would David do David Well first he jump out and lift the lid off the motor look in it any clock once or twice Then he borrow a bobby pin and tickle the insides of the motor a little Put the lid down and get back in and off we go. Well, here's a bobby pin, but mama. I don't know how to tickle Oh, hey the car's rolling down the hill Claudia be careful put your foot on the brake and stop it. Maybe we'll never start again. Claudia. I think I'll just let it roll Claudia stop looking as if you're on a roller coaster. This is serious mama look There's a filling station if you hold your breath, and I hold my breath Maybe we'll roll right into it. Oh, we'll find a man there and men always know about the insides of cars Oh, I love the smell of gasoline. You can have that in New York 331 ma'am 331 that's an outrage pay him. Oh, all right. He's going to make the eggs off the expensive. All right, you are Pardon me sir, but could you tell us how to get to route route nine route nine man? Yes, the last person we asked told us to drive straight ahead for about five miles straight ahead Why ma'am you should be driving straight backwards. We should we're driving just the opposite direction? No Drive back just 12 miles away to come to white church white turn right when you come to a greenhouse turn left Green house turn left come to an orange barn turn south. Mommy. You're listening to him I left him at the foot of the rainbow and drive three miles and when you get to the transverse turn right turn right You're bound to hit route nine that way. We are come on mama. Let's go. We're practically there practically Mama, what time is it? Let's see. Oh dear. It's three o'clock three o'clock Well, all we have to do is turn left at this antique store such a nice-looking antique store too, isn't it? Claudia we are not going to stop again. Now Claudia, please here. We are on our way again. Oh My legs are getting so stiff. Oh too bad mama You know, there wasn't a thrifty buy in that whole store Tragic we'll have to come back Maybe we should almost be at the farm now. I think we're almost in San Francisco And we must be at least a hundred miles from the Eastbrook station. I think I Think I see a brook and the first man said we should turn right at a brook, didn't he the man before the last man Said you should turn left at the brook. Did he yes, he did Claudia are You sure you know how to follow directions. What do you think I've been doing all day? I would hate to tell you Personally, I think that if you didn't make me ask everybody where we were going And if you just let me follow my own instinct, we'd be much refused to consider the possibilities mama What does that look like up there ahead? Oh It looks like a general store to me. Have you got the directions? I have them But they're torn and crumpled and they're practically illegible by now. Never mind if they're illegible. What do they say? Turn right at the general store, and then we're there. Well, I'm gonna turn around when we get to the general store Believe me. Claudia. We have only 15 minutes to make that train 15 minutes. Yes, I'm a will never make it I could have told you that at nine o'clock this morning. Oh, this is terrible. This is Dave it'll be furious. Well, all right, then. What about me? I'm furious mama I'm gonna pull into the general store here and for the last time I'm gonna ask for directions do that whoever said we live the simple life in the country even roads are complicated I'm going in to ask mama. Come on. You come with me Well, ma'am, what can I do for you? Excuse me, but can you tell us how to get to Henpeck farm? Sure thing, ma'am Straight ahead straight ahead. What do you mean straight ahead? The last man we asked said to turn to the right Are you sure you know sure? I'm sure I live at Henpeck farm What is that you said you what save yourself some trouble ma'am? You can buy your eggs here But I don't want to buy them in a store. I want to buy them on a farm That is the whole point ma'am These eggs come straight from Henpeck farm, but them over here myself this morning But I came all this way to buy eggs on a farm Claudia. Claudia. This is no time now to buy these eggs ma'am or or not Yes, I suppose I am Here give them to me The eggs There'll be an omelet Mama, will you look at that not one single solitary egg broken? You see it was worth coming this far to get farm eggs after all, but You bought them in a store. Oh, what's the difference their farm eggs, aren't they? I give up. Come on, Claudia Let's hurry We have only five minutes to get to the station and it's all your fault. You know five minutes is all you need ma'am You just go down this road one mile You turn to the left to the left there Where Eastbrook station? Station I can't believe it. It can't be it's taken us all day long to get back to it I don't see how you don't well. We've been driving around in circles We've been driving around in 20 circles not only that, but I paid $3.31 for gas I didn't buy one single antique in that stupid old shop and I bought my eggs in a store Isn't it enough to make you bust we could even hear the train from here When your shopping bag begins to fill up and you still have marketing ahead Why not step over to that friendly red cooler and pause for refreshing ice-cold coca-cola? There are coke coolers in so many food stores these days. They're put there remember so that you may shop refreshed Guess the young lady you don't know how to get around this part of the country yet Yes, she don't and I guess the native Eastbrookers don't know how to give directions out yet either You always got thick directions with a grain of salt and the road map in your lap Well, I'll tell Claudia just as soon as I get a chance The young lady planned to raise her own eggs just so she won't have to buy them in the store Claudia's planning to raise a lot more than her own eggs Yep, and tomorrow she's going to tell David about a few of those things Because she's going to read a book on how to turn one acre of land into a small farm Their books can be mighty misleading and Claudia's just the girl to be misled. Well, I'll be dropping tomorrow Long as I was saying every day Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is Joe King saying or if war and remember Whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be when you think of refreshment think of coca-cola For coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes and ice-cold coca-cola is everywhere This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney and now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola