 Welcome back and thanks for joining us for episode five of The Evolving Leader. We're excited to have Alan Stein, Jr. in the studio with us to talk about the importance of getting the fundamentals right. Alan is a keynote speaker, performance coach, and author of The Soon to Be Released and will be released by the time this comes out. Book, sustain your game. Many of the lessons that he shares in his book and that we'll discuss here today come from come from spending time with some of the most successful basketball players in the world, including but not limited to Kobe Bryant and Kevin Durant. Alan, thanks for being here with us today. Oh my goodness, it's my pleasure. It's great to be with you. It's great to see you again, Al. You too, David. So let me just ask at the start before we get going, how is it that you have come to rub shoulders with some of the greatest basketball players the world has ever known? Well, basketball was my first identifiable passion and I fell in love with the game at five years old and I'm so grateful that here, 40 years later, basketball is still a major pillar of my life and I've spent my entire life around the game and incredibly thankful that I've seen it from three very distinctly different vantage points. The first third of my life was as a player myself. I was able to play all the way up through college. The next third I spent as a basketball performance coach, which was when I actually got to work with these elite players and now on this back third, I'm the father of three children that all play youth basketball. So I've seen the game from every angle and I got into basketball performance training at a very opportune time when there weren't very many people doing it and some doors were open for me that allowed me to do work at Nike and Jordan Brand and USA Basketball and I got an opportunity to work events for the likes of LeBron James and Kobe Bryant and some pretty amazing players. But I also had an opportunity to work at two different high schools here in the Washington DC area that ended up producing future pros like Kevin Durant and Victor Oladipo. So I've had a unique journey that I've gotten to see both sides of the curtain. I've gotten to see what it takes for a young player to rise to the mountaintop, but then I got to work with these established pros and see what it takes to actually stay there and sustain that level of excellence. So very thankful basketball has been a major part of my journey. Very nice. So one of the important things for any leader to know is kind of their role in the process and I'd be curious to get your take on this. David and I were talking over lunch. We feel like the role of a leader is really to be more coach or maybe even GM than it is to be the star player. Is that your experience as well? Absolutely. I'm not very musically inclined but I kind of equate it to being the conductor of the orchestra. The conductor's job is to get everybody to play their instrument to the best of their ability and when done and blended beautifully, you know, you get harmony and you get some nice music and that's ultimately what a conductor's job is. And I view the same thing as a leader, a leader or a coach or really you could fill in any word there, parent, teacher, manager, director, supervisor. It's your job to find the strengths of each person on your team. Put them in the right position where they can maximize those strengths and make a maximum contribution to everyone else. And if everyone is doing that in alignment with the vision or the north star that the leader has set, that's when you have an extraordinary team. I love that word orchestration, right? It's one of the first lessons that I learned from one of my mentors way back in the day was how to let go as an entrepreneur and to delegate truly in power. And that was the image, the image of an orchestra and an orchestra leader of really getting everybody aligned around that same sheet of music and singing the same song, right? Such an important part of leadership. I think one of the key things about that is in order to get everybody to follow that vision, you don't have to just paint that vision, you have to be able to have the respect of the entire orchestra to follow you. What have been the secrets that you've seen? You've worked with amazing coaches, amazing players that are providing leadership on the court, not just off the court. Where does that come from? Where does that respect kind of germinate from? Respect has to be given first. You have to have a respect for those on your team, you have to have a respect for the process, a respect for your organization, a respect for the game, if you will. So the respect has to generate from you as the leader first. And then on top of that, you'll start to build in things like trust. You need to earn the trust of every single person on your team and you earn trust by giving trust and showing and having behaviors that show that you are trustworthy. And these things all provide the foundation to which your leadership and your influence and your impact will eventually be built upon. And that foundation is vital. I mean, that was why I'm glad in the intro you mentioned the basics. That's something I really embrace are the basic fundamental principles or the fundamentals, if you will, of what it takes to be successful in any area, especially that of leadership. And we all have to make sure that we are paying homage to the basics every single day. And I know in my own life, anytime I'm not performing at a level that I believe I'm capable of, it's usually because I've unconsciously started to drift away from the basics. I have to refocus that lens and get back to them. And that usually puts me back on the right path. It's amazing to me how the basics and not doing them can undermine what you're trying to accomplish as a leader. And I learned this and you really brought it to the forefront of my mind when you and I met and you really spoke about the basics and how you had seen the best players in the world work on the most fundamental moves and skills in basketball. I have found it's like, if you don't brush your teeth in the morning, you've got horrible breath. It doesn't matter how much you dress up. It doesn't matter how good you are or what. It's that distraction that undermines that respect. And there are certain things we all have different strengths and weaknesses. There are certain things that just don't come natural to some of us, right? And things as simple as not being responsive or not being polite or not being able to communicate and articulate yourself that we look at really basic things that some leaders don't pay attention to really sabotages more than anything, their leadership ability. Oh, absolutely. And it always goes back to those fundamental building blocks. I mean, to me, one of the pillars of being an exceptional leader is simply caring, is caring about the people on your team, is caring about your mission, is caring about your organization as a whole. And then you think of what are the building blocks of how do you show someone that you care? Well, I'm a big believer you invest time with them and you invest your most important currency, which is your attention in the present moment. So when you have an opportunity to be with someone on your team, give them your full attention, actively listen, you know, have a genuine curiosity to get to know not just more about them from a professional standpoint, but even from a personal standpoint, find out what's important to them and truly solidify that connection. And then when they know that you are all in and you truly care about them as a human being first and as an employee second, then they're going to increase their requisite buy-in and believe in. And now you've got, you've created a culture where everyone is working together to make a maximum contribution to move towards that North Star. But for me, it always starts with caring. And, you know, that's not something you can fake. That needs to be genuine and it needs to come from your heart. And you show people you care by investing your attention in them. One of your favorite phrases is be where your feet are. Yes. Right. I think that goes to that, right? One of the ways we show care is by really paying attention, investing in the present moment versus being somewhere else, thinking about something else. Yeah. And I always try and give proper attribution. I've heard be where your feet are. I heard it first from Nick Saban, the head football coach at Alabama. And I heard it from Oprah Winfrey. So if both of them said it, it has to be true. Has to be true. But you know, it's funny. There's something, and I've always loved quotes. I'm a self-diagnosed quote nerd. And I started writing down quotes on a yellow legal pad when I was 15 years old. Wow. And then with the advent of the computer, transferred those over to a Word doc. And I have a Word doc now, still on my laptop, with thousands of quotes. And there's just something about the way that words can be organized that can make the meaning resonate differently with folks. So there's a million ways to say you need to be in the present moment. But the second that I heard, be where your feet are, I just had this epiphany moment. I just, that made sense to me. And it's something that I say to myself, not out loud or they, you know, they'd have me committed. But I say that to myself dozens of times a day. But if I ever find myself, whether I'm in a meeting with you two, or I'm having dinner with my children, and I find myself temporarily distracted or not being present, I just, that is my trigger. I simply say, Allen, be where your feet are, be where your feet are. So it brings me back to that present moment. So that's one of your basics. It's one of the fundamentals that you live by. And I've experienced that so many times. What are the others? Do you have three or four other basics that you just always go back to and make sure you're practicing? I do. And let me preface this with, and I've started sharing this on stage and actually find that the vulnerability helps increase connection. I'm not a master of any of this stuff. I'm not speaking from a place of mastery. I'm on the same path as both of you and as everybody watching and listening to this right now, but I'm proud of the path that I'm on. And I love not only sticking to the basics, but having people in my life that care enough about me to hold me accountable to sticking to those basics. For me, I'm, I'm big into routine and structure and consistency. That's actually something that gives me comfort. So I, I love routine and I have a meticulous morning and evening routine, which I would consider one of my basics and I don't deviate from it. Now, I'm not robotic. Basically, what I have is a framework that I say, all right, every morning, here are the things that I need to accomplish in order for me to be my best self. And they're not always identical. You know, for me within the first 60 minutes of every day, I try to do something physically that gets me moving. I try to do something mentally that stimulates thought. And I try to do something emotionally, you know, kind of engages the heart. So if I can do those three things within the first hour of waking up, it puts me in a pretty good mindset to be my best self. And now what I do for each of those three things may differ. Someday I may do some yoga. Another day I might go for a run. Another day I might lift some weights and that's the physical part. Sometimes when I'm on a run, I'm listening to a podcast. Sometimes I take 20 minutes to read a new book. So those things I allow for some variety. But I think if I can engage those three parts of my being every morning, then it lays that foundation. And I've also come to realize, you know, with some self-awareness and some introspection, I love early morning. So I love the early hours of the morning. So many of the times I'm doing these things at six or seven or eight o'clock in the morning, which then leaves the rest of the day to be productive and to be present. So I would say habits and routine and structure are another part of my basics. And living present, which is really challenging to do in today's very digitally distracting world and sticking to structure and habits when there's a variety of other things that necessitate our time, those things are never easy to do. But I value them so much and they are so important to me that I make the time to do them. You keep coming back to them. David, let me jump in and ask what are some of your fundamentals, either from a scheduling perspective or a leadership perspective? Yeah, what do you, what boxes do you try to make sure that you check? You know, it's funny and I found this over and over with leaders. Mine are so similar, right? And I didn't even realize this, but my morning routine is a huge part. I'm the exact same way. The early morning hours are when I get in my best work as a human being and it starts with waking up and having my prayer time in the morning. And then I go and work out in the mornings and then I go and I have what I call my deep work time. I set it aside. It's where I do my thought work, right? Because of exactly what you said, I can be productive and then I can engage. And so that morning routine is number one, number two, treating people, right? One of the core values at Three Pillar that we talk about all the time is intrinsic dignity. I really believe in caring for people. You say it one way, I say it slightly different. It's the same thing. So a human being is a human being. And regardless of what they do, they deserve respect and honor and really investing in other people is really important to me as well. Those are some of the staples for me. But then I think I also have some very tactical ones, responsiveness, right? One of the ways I show respect is I practice making sure I get back to people within 24 hours when they reach out to me. Am I perfect exactly? Like you said, no, there are times when that inbox queues up and I drop the ball. But I really try to discipline myself to if somebody's going to reach out to me, I need to respond, even if it's just quick and short and acknowledge them and to get back to them and not let them be waiting on me, right? There are some things like that that I really pay attention to. Yeah. And one other thought that just stimulated from what you were sharing, another one of my basics that I've really tried to lean into over these last few years because I was admittedly awful at this very early in my life and probably all the way up through my late 30s was learning how to detach from outcomes and focus more on the process. Not to say that goals and outcomes aren't important. They can be that North Star, if you will, but not allowing achievement to dictate my self-worth and my self-value. So basically learning to love the work for the sake of doing the work and then any outcome or goal that you reach is simply a byproduct of that. And it's something you can celebrate and you should celebrate, but not kind of putting all of my eggs in that basket. Learning to do the things on a daily basis, the habits and the behaviors, the way that you treat people and then letting things just unfold. So, you know, I know you've, you know, you and I have had so many conversations, you've heard me talk about control that's controllables, which I believe are attitude and effort. So the vast majority of my focus is in my own attitude and effort. And I'm getting better at certainly letting everything else go that if I can say, even with this interview right now, if I give my best effort and I have my best attitude, that's all I have control over. I don't have control over what you guys say or what you ask. I don't have control over what the people watching or listening think of me. So I have to learn how to let that go. Now, obviously I want to do a great job for you and I want to add value to their lives. That's the North Star, but I don't control that. So all I can control is my effort and attitude. And I'm starting to get to a point in my life where I'm finding peace with that. And there's some serenity in knowing. I'm following the process. I'm doing the best I can and I'm living my truth through the basics. And everything else is just going to happen the way it happens. And I'm okay with that. One of the first times that you shared that with me and you were talking about attitude and effort, it really resonated. And there's two things that happen from it. First one is my kids have all heard that over and over again. So thank you for helping me be a better dad. Of course. Number two, you also share with that. One of your very small examples about the basics and really putting where your money, where your mouth is, is about shopping carts. Go to the grocery store. And how many people have the attitude and the effort to simply go and wheel that cart over to where it's supposed to go versus leaving it in the middle of the parking lot. And what does that have and what is the impact it has on so many other people around here? And that was an eye-opening moment because I was one of those jerks, right? Here I am preaching and talking about wanting to care about other people and doing the basics and simple things. And it was like, wow, what an eye-opening moment. Right? And so now for the last five years, however long it's been, I put shopping carts back because of you, Alan. I love that. Well, I'm a huge believer that little things make a big difference. When little things are done consistently, they make a big difference. And when little things are done by a lot of people, it actually makes a big difference. And I've tried to refine my stance on the shopping cart issue because one of the other areas where I'm trying to grow is to be less judgmental of other human beings and to make less assumptions about other people. So in my opinion, someone that abandons their shopping cart in the parking lot, just leaving it in a space, it doesn't mean that they are a bad person. And it doesn't mean that they are selfish, entitled or lazy. But I do believe that is an act of selfishness, entitlement or laziness. And because I don't have the full picture and I don't have the context of who they are or what they've had going on in their life or their day. I should not be in a position to judge someone. But I do believe in that moment, they made a decision that was not being their best self and is not in the best interest of the society that we're all a part of. So for me, those little things, they add up. And now with that said, as I said, not only am I not coming from a place of mastery, I am far from perfect. I am a flawed human being and I will have lapses in judgment. I will make poor decisions. I don't think it'll ever be the shopping cart example, but there will be times in my life where I do something that is lazy, entitled or selfish. Yeah, selfish, absolutely. And we all need to be able to give each other grace. And we all need to be able to be lenient with each other and give people the benefit of the doubt. But that also starts with our self, being self-critical and beating yourself up and packing on guilt and shame when you do something poorly isn't going to help. So another area where I'm trying to grow is when I make a mistake, which happens frequently, is acknowledge it, make an amends or apologize if it's warranted, learn from it and then do my very best not to repeat it. And I think another fundamental truth of leadership is if you're going to expect it of others, you have to expect it of yourself. I believe in modeling the behavior that I want to see in others and that's one of them. So before I would ever condemn someone for not putting their shopping cart back, I need to make sure that I'm always returning mine properly. I just, I laugh at that kind of tongue-in-cheek because I think it's kind of a microcosm of a much bigger lesson, which is every moment you have an opportunity to make a decision to show up as your best self and to contribute to the world around you. And my goal is to make that decision as consistently as I can. And when I fall short because I'm fallible and human, giving myself some grace to just move to the next play. Yeah. I love that. Next play. I remember it. Is that a, that wasn't the Steve Nash story, was it? No, I actually learned it from coach K, but it's very applicable to Steve Nash because he's one of the best that have ever done it. And the concept of next play is don't worry about what just happened, refocus your lens on what's happening right now, what's right in front of you. So the best basketball analogy is, David, you just missed the layup. It's okay. Next play. Will, you just turn the ball over. It's okay. Next play. Guys, I know the referee missed the call. It happens occasionally. Next play. And the reason as your coach that I would want you to focus on the next play is because there's nothing you can do about that missed layup or that turnover. It's over. And if you choose to allow what happened in the past to detract from your ability to invest in the present moment, you're not able to perform at your best. And, you know, right now in the throes of March Madness while we're recording this, we're seeing this at a high level. You are seeing which players and which coaches quickly move on to the next play and which ones are fixated on something that didn't go their way. And now I know from my own experience, this is very easy for me to say, and it is not easy to do. There is nothing easy, especially if you're a coach and you feel like your job is on the line, if you're not winning games and you feel like the referee didn't make the right call, it is really challenging not to get fixated on that. But it's in your best, you know, it's in your best interest to simply move on, say that is not something within my control, and now let's focus on the present moment. And when you can do that, you will perform at a higher level more consistently. Yeah. One of the great examples that I think I've just seen of this that I think brings a lot of what we're talking about together is actually John Howard. He had the coaching faux pas horrible situation was not his best self, right? Got suspended because of it, physical alteration after a game. And then what happens three weeks later, he's reinstated and he's showing incredible compassion to the losing team, incredible sportsmanship, right? Like, wow, talk about somebody going next play and then applying the basics about caring about humanity to overcome that. I thought that was incredible leadership. Yeah. Well, I'm actually so glad that you brought that up because it kind of puts a nice big red bow tie on a lot of the themes that we've been talking about. Now, I've never met Coach Howard. And as I said, I certainly don't want to judge him for any of his behaviors, having never walked a day in his shoes, but even to his own admission, he made a colossal mistake in judgment when that altercation happened against Wisconsin. He showed remorse. I thought authentic heartfelt remorse. He accepted his punishment, which was a massive suspension and fine. And then he moved on. He had an intimate talk with his team, apologized to them and moved on. And then when given an opportunity to actually show some compassion to someone he had just beat, I thought he did that brilliantly. And what I do find fascinating, you had all of these people basically attacking him on social media for his poor behavior. And I'm not seeing enough people applaud his kind of renewed behavior and moving on. And I would love to see more of a balance in those things. I think people should be allowed to make mistakes and we should be able to forgive each other for them and move on. And I know there is a huge spectrum of mistakes that someone can make. But I do believe that he's learned his lesson. And what I will find interesting, now unless Michigan wins it all, he will lose in the next couple of weeks. And how will he behave after a loss? Because there were some people that said the only reason he showed compassion was because he just won a huge game. I don't think that's true. I actually think he's going to be very gracious in defeat, whenever that may be. And if Michigan does win the whole thing, I think he'll be gracious in victory. But that is a wonderful example of someone that moved to the next play, learned from a mistake. And I think as a society, we should applaud that and reward that. I'm not the same person I was 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago. I did some things 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago that weren't my best look that I certainly would not do today. But I learned from those things and they make me who I am today. So I think we should all lean into the fact that our imperfections and our flaws and our mistakes can help build character and build us into the leaders that we are all trying to come. The evolving leaders that we are all trying to come. It's part of the journey, right? It's the scars that we have, right? We've skinned our knees, right? And so we remember why we fell in the first place, right? And those are such important. I think that's one of those fundamental lessons, right? It's one of the fundamentals we all need to go back and learn from those mistakes and not let them get us down. Yeah, absolutely. So let me ask about the book. It's called Sustain Your Game. It will be out in a few weeks, as we mentioned in the intro. I assume you're taking some of the lessons that you've learned over the 5, 10, 15, 20 years that you alluded to. Are there any maybe never-before-told stories that will be in the book that you could share here since this won't be out until after the book comes out? Yeah, absolutely. Happy to. Well, to kind of put into context, so my first book was Raise Your Game. And the goal of that was to show folks how to reach optimal performance. But then I realized that's only half the battle. Staying there is the hard part. And staying there is more of the long term. I mean, it's one thing to get to the top of the mountain. It's the other thing to stay there. And that's where the sustained portion comes in. And where I really started to feel, especially during the pandemic, were the effects of stress, stagnation and burnout that a lot of people across a variety of industries were starting to feel. So I wanted to address that. One of my favorite stories from the book is actually a non-sport story. And it speaks to the importance of preparation. And I believe preparation is one of the best antidotes to stress, that the more prepared we are for anything, the less stress we feel. Now, I am a hip hop aficionado. I love hip hop. However, this story is about Van Halen back in the 80s, who was the rock band of all rock bands. And their lead singer, David Lee Roth, at some of their concerts, they would string him up and they'd have all these different attachments on him because he would be doing all of these almost gymnastic type movements above the crowd. They had pyrotechnics going off. Like they were doing stuff that was absolutely incredible. Well, if you can kind of picture, pretend I'm a lead singer of a rock band right now, and I'm connected to a harness and wires, like there's a tremendous amount of safety precautions that need to go into that. And there are certain things that need to be done for my own physical safety, as far as the way the stage is built, the way all of these things are constructed. Well, when Van Halen's on a massive tour, they don't have time, as the band themselves, to make sure every T is crossed and every I is dotted. They have to put trust into the people that are actually building out that stage. So what they figured out, they would do is they had a very lengthy agreement and a contract and embedded in that contract with great detail where the specifications of what needed to be built for the stage, how the harness needed to be, because literally David Lee Roth's life was at risk if this was not done correctly. But what they did that was so genius in that contract, they actually put that in our green room, we need to have a bowl of M&Ms and the brown M&Ms need to be removed from the bowl. And the reason they did that, they knew that the moment they showed up, if they walked in the green room and the brown M&Ms were not removed from the bowl, that person did not read the contract thoroughly. And the chances of them having executed everything to the standard that it needed to be done had been diminished. And in the contract, it said that if there were brown M&Ms in this bowl, we will be paid in full and we will not perform. And people would sign that contract and they would show up for shows. And if they walked in the green room and the brown M&Ms were removed, they trusted that the people had prepared the stage in the harness correctly. If they walked in and it wasn't the case, the brown M&Ms were not removed, then they did not have faith that it was going to be safe to execute and they would get paid and they would not play. Now, what's interesting about that story, because I've heard this urban legend in this myth, but it's been twisted. It's always been painted this picture that rock stars, they're so entitled and they're so pampered that they can't even, no, that was not the reason that they put that clause in there. It was a way to make sure that the group they were working with was so prepared that they could perform safely. So it really speaks to the fact of how important preparation is. And I just think that's such a fascinating and innovative way to make sure someone is reading through a contract. So, yeah, that's one of my favorite stories for that reason. But the moral of it is how important preparation is and the more prepared you are, the less stressed you'll be. Because could you imagine how stressed out David Lee Roth would be if he had to be strapped to a harness and is going to be floating 50 feet over the crowd if he wasn't confident that it was done correctly? Right. Right. Wow. Yeah. Powerful story. Absolutely. Well, we could go on all day, Alan. And we wish we could, but I will get you out of here on this. It's March 23rd as we sit here. You alluded to the NCAA tournament that's going on right now. You're a big basketball guy. Who's going to take it home? Well, I have a very, as David knows, I have a very strong allegiance to Duke and to Coach K. So every single year, I believe Duke has the potential to win it all. Now, funny enough, five of those years I was correct because it's one of five championships, but I think it would be an unbelievable farewell. Duke has the potential to do it, but as we all know in March Madness, anything can happen, but I'm going to put my money on Coach K going out with a trophy. Yeah. He's the type of leader that deserves it, number one, and luck tends to play out. It's not luck. It's preparation, right? And so I think that's a good chance. Well, as a Tar Heel, I hope that UNC and Duke get a chance to play in the final four and we'll let the chips fall where they may. And I tell you what, I mean, I would say UNC is the hottest team in the tournament right now. They are playing, they're over indexing what they've been doing. And what's kind of funny is people think automatically because I'm a Coach K fan and a Duke fan that I don't like UNC, nothing could be further from the truth. Now, when those two play, I root for Duke in full transparency, but outside of that, I love Hubert Davis and I love the culture of UNC basketball and I'm always rooting for them as well. So yeah, seeing them meet in the final four would be, it would be epic. That'd be the way to go out if you're Coach K. Can you imagine? Win or lose, it'd be an epic battle, right? It would be pretty cool, but I'm just so glad that the tournament has kind of returned to old form and it feels like it did prior to the pandemic. You know, I'm certainly biased, but to me, there's nothing like the pageantry of March Madness. Absolutely. Well, last question, sustain your game. Where can people go to find it and where can they go to learn more about you? They can go to sustainyourgamebook.com and there's a variety of different resources there. I actually did the narration for the audio book, which I'm really proud of, and we've enriched that content with some music and some sound effects. We even added a bonus section that's on the audio, but it's exclusive to the audio book, which is an interview I got to do with Reese Davis of ESPN. So whether someone wants to read the physical book or they want to hear my smooth and sexy, silky voice for eight hours, they can get all of that at sustainyourgamebook.com and you can find everything else at alansteinjr.com. Awesome. Nice. Well, Alan, thanks again for joining us to talk fundamentals of leadership and thanks to everybody who joined us either on the podcast or the video today and go get Alan's book when you get a chance. Thanks, guys. Congratulations on it. Thank you.