 all emotions are contagious. So this fact of being contagious, which a little bit after the pandemic is still a weird thing to say, but the idea that emotions are contagious can also backfire because that means that if you are in a group of people and you are the boring person, the pessimistic person, the one who drags everyone down, everyone else is going to catch those emotions. Guess where they're going to go? Away from you and towards someone else. And this is why utilizing this enthusiasm within charisma to create those positive emotions that people say, I don't know why exactly, but when I'm standing next to AJ, when I'm standing next to Johnny, I suddenly feel enthusiastic about my life. I feel so much better. I leave the party and I'm just, I could high five everyone. I feel so good about myself. And this is particularly important in people that are in leadership positions as a study in the leadership quarterly show that was titled charisma, positive emotions and mood contagion. And they found that charismatic leaders utilize positive emotions to influence their followers. That's obvious. But they also found that mood contagion was a key mechanism in that form of leadership. And they, to quote them at the end, they write, our results confirm the idea that charismatic leaders are influential by virtue of the emotions they induce in followers. And the emotional climate they create. So let's unpack this. What is the emotional climate that you are creating around people? People you're meeting for the first time, friends and family, coworkers. Yes, that's right. You create an emotional climate. Your emotions are contagious. So if you're feeling that you're boring, odds are you're not creating a positive, fun, warm, inviting emotional climate around others. So in turn, they're gonna wanna spend less time with you, not more. And as we know, charisma leads to people wanting more time with us, chasing us, seeking us, giving us promotions, giving us leadership roles because they enjoy our presence. So when we bring enthusiasm, when we bring a positive emotional climate around people that we're interacting with, they're gonna wanna spend more time with us. So how do we do it? Instead of focusing on yourself and your accomplishments and how boring you might feel you are at this present moment, if you bring enthusiasm towards other people's accomplishments, their stories, their adventures, their excitement, their emotional bids, then what actually ends up happening is they feel a positive emotional climate around us. They view that enthusiasm in a positive light and they see you as more charismatic. I have an anecdote to this that I wanna share that I think will enlighten our audience. You and I, several years ago, had the opportunity to interview Kobe Bryant. And you were a huge basketball fan and of course, Kobe, what's to say about Kobe? I mean, the guy was an impressive figure in many different aspects of his life. In fact, we were interviewing him because he now was putting together a series of children's books. Now, I remember that day and we were both really nervous. I was trying not to even think about the interview because I didn't wanna put myself into a nervous state. But I gotta say that when we got there and there was so much nervous energy in the room because of this man who was coming in who had all the accolades and all the awards and an impressive figure. There was a lot of children there that were excited to meet Kobe. We were there to do our interview and it was an interesting setup. And so just a little background on Kobe, he and his father played in the European leagues and it was a famous basketball player in his own right. So Kobe was brought up in this world. So what had happened is when he entered the room, him and his entourage went to the back room and there was not really any interaction with anybody. This was to give Kobe an opportunity to turn off a few switches that allowed him to be take care of business and to turn on some switches in his mind to allow him to be present. And when he exited that room and came out you could see the difference in his demeanor and how he behaved in that room because he knew what to turn on to be present and to be successful in that arena. And I remember how he engaged with each one of those kids and how he took interest in those kids and those kids in the sports that they're in and their studies and he chatted with them and he was asking all these questions and all of those kids were lighting up. And this only made me even more nervous because I was like, we are dealing with somebody who understands this at a very fundamental level. In fact, his aura, a character had been created not only on the court, but off the court. And let's be honest, Kobe had a few off court issues early in his career that he had to make up for. So it was important for him to get this right. And it was impressive. But everything that we are talking about in this episode was exhibited in Kobe in that moment. And just watching somebody who had a lifelong experience with this turn it off and on, it was amazing. I love it. This is what is so special about this because you can be Kobe. You can learn how to turn this on. Now, what's something else that Kobe had to go along with that enthusiasm? Optimism. Oh yeah. Even after all the missed shots, even after all the failures, he was optimistic that the second he stepped on the court he was gonna win. And that optimism is something that we have to work on because if you're right now feeling that you're boring, it's gonna be very hard for you then to beat back that pessimism that you're feeling about yourself. And as Michael said, emotions are contagious. So if we're self-reflective, if we're self-judgmental and we're focusing on how we're boring, odds are we're starting to view things in a very pessimistic light. And that pessimism is also contagious. So that pessimism is gonna be very hard to hide in an interaction with others. So boring is actually a very slippery slope. If you start to call yourself boring, you start to slip into a pessimistic state of mind. That pessimism is what people are gonna remember about you which is not charismatic. So we have to become optimistic. When we're optimistic, we actually turn up the volume on our charisma. And optimists believe no matter what, there's always choices. Not that there's always positive outcomes but that there's always choices to be made. So whatever the end result is, the choice you have is what am I taking from this? What perspective can I take from this? What lesson can I take from this? How am I turning that negative event into something reflective that I can look back on in a positive light? And lastly, optimists are able to laugh at themselves and not in a derogatory self-deprecating way. But in a way that allows other people to drop their guard and feel more comfortable around them. And this is something that we work hard with our clients to break because when you're feeling boring and you're starting to fall into that pessimism trap, it's very hard no matter how much you work on other skills, listening, networking, what to say in conversation, it's very hard to develop that charisma that makes people wanna spend more time with you.