This is a false. His false magazines have colgne samples and ads for boner pills. He is weakened.
This is a Decibel subscriber. His magazine has the Flexi series, featuring exclusive tracks from his favorite metal bands on plastic vinyl. He is chuffed because now he has the Deluxe Edition Flexi Collector's Box to store two years' worth of highly collectable ragers. The instructions are so simple even a one-man pornogrind band can follow them.
Step 1: Tear away Flexi. Step 2: Insert Flexi in one of 24 plastic sleeves. Step 3: Put sleeve in box. Step 4 (optional): Open box, remove sleeve, remove Flexi, play on turntable. Decimate ears.
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