 as we were just singing a song. All right, you guys, welcome back to us at Tarik Atlanta. Of course, my name is Bryce. I am joined here with one of my friends, Angie Tillman, here from Georgia today. I would say, is today June 1 or is it May 30th? May 31st. Oh, May 31st, 2023. God, this year is going by so quickly. My youngest niece just turned two. Happy birthday, Mae Mae. Mae Mae. She's so chubby, and she's so cute. I just freaking, she can give the best side eye out of any, you know, she's two. So she's like, why am I back here? But anyway, guys, this is a very important video we're going to, our episode we're going to do. And I'm hoping that this is going to be an ongoing conversation. Because we have been talking about organic portals. We have been talking about, you know, what's a sold person? Who's a person who has a soul? We're getting close to the timeline jump and the fourth density positive. So we're starting to see, the darkness can't really hide anymore. And so we're starting to see a lot of people's behaviors, really, on the forefront, that we weren't probably able to see before. Because it's getting, so we're getting so close to that, making that jump. And so before we go any further, I do, let's just go ahead and do a quick word from one of our sponsors, Asiya. Thank you so much, Asiya. And then we will get right back into the subject at hand. You guys know that I love a good workout. I love to sweat every single day. I work out about six days a week, at least two hours, on my yoga mat, doing Ashtanga yoga, or doing a bar class. When one works out, their muscles break down. I tell my students here in Atlanta, I've been sore for about 17 years. And as we start to age, we start to have a harder time repairing those broken down muscles. Now, a few months ago, my friend, Catherine Edwards, introduced me to the product, Asiya. I had been offered sponsorships before, but I had always turned them down because the integrity of the company didn't align with my own integrity. But the more I studied about Asiya, the more I studied about the owners, the person who came up with the formula for Asiya, the more I liked this company. And then I started to try the product. So what is Asiya? Again, when you work out, when you rip your muscles apart, there has to be a rebuilding system. When that rebuild happens, that is when your body technically gets stronger. We have in our body something called Redox. Redox is this thing that helps. It's a signaling system between your cells. Now, when we are young, when we're kids, before we hit puberty, we have a lot of Redox. That's why children are young and healthy and they can fall out of trees and skin their knees and be fine and recover quickly. But as we get older, that Redox becomes less and less and less. So it doesn't really matter how healthy the cells are. And the cells cannot properly communicate with each other. This means that as we get older, we start to feel more body aches. We start to get wrinkles. We start to get saggy skin. We start to get gray hair. For men, this means that the hair starts to thin and fall out. Again, it's like having a cell phone. What's the good in having an iPhone? Like my iPhone, if there's no cell system to work it. The ASEA is the cellular system. Now again, I'm a pretty healthy person. I work really hard on my health. So I wasn't expecting a huge difference with the Redox. However, the benefits that I've experienced over these last two months of being on ASEA have been unbelievable. I feel younger. I'm sleeping better. I feel like my quality of life is better. Even my hair, I've always had really thick hair. But now my hair has gotten doubly thick and it's growing like crazy. I literally just got my hair cut like two weeks ago. And I am about to have to make another appointment to get it cut again because it is unbelievable how fast my hair is growing since taking this Redox system. My nails are growing faster. Even my boyfriend. My boyfriend who is in his early 50s is starting to thin out at the top of the hair as what happens to men. And even he is starting to notice his hair grow back. Which is common. If you look at the stories from ASEA, so many men have grown their hair back simply by adding Redox back into their body. Their countless stories of people who've lowered their blood pressure, gotten off medications, cut their medications in half because their body is being supplied with the cellular system it needs to do what the body is supposed to do and that is heal itself. Now basically what you do is when you get your Redox in, you can hear it's a liquid. It's a liquid. This comes with a little shot glass, a two ounce shot glass. Most people will take between four and eight ounces of ASEA a day. I take eight ounces a day because I'm obsessed with this product. So you pour two ounces into the shot glass, you swish it around your mouth for 30 to 60 seconds and then you swallow, that's it. You can't overdose with this product. If you take too much, your body will just pee it out. Now when you take the liquid, you're allowing the intelligence of your body to take the Redox where the body needs the Redox to go. I've told you guys before I struggle heavily with arthritis. And in the past, I have taken medications for my arthritis, but I do know that arthritis is caused by overthought. It's caused by anxiety. However, medication coming from my doctor only dealt with the issue of the arthritis, not the cause. Well, when I started taking me to see about three days into taking this, I noticed that I was a lot calmer. My anxiety had dissipated and I thought, how interesting is that? How interesting is that? My body knew that the source of the issue with my joints was coming up from my own mind. So where did it send the Redox? To my mind. There's also a topical gel that I really like. So when you take the liquid, again, you're allowing your body, its own intelligence to take the Redox where it is needed to help heal the body. But with the topical gel, you are able to put the gel where you want it put. I have been putting this on my legs for a while now. It has helped so much with the tightening of the skin, with cellulite, with varicose veins. It's also helped with the soreness of my legs. My legs get real sore from working out. I've been actually even putting this on my boobs, you guys. Now again, I'm 40. I've never had children, so my boobs don't drop that much. But I've been kind of putting it on my boobs too. And I tell you, my boyfriend really likes that. So this is a really awesome product. But despite the vanity, if you have a sore leg or a sore knee or a sore neck, you can put this on and direct the Redox into the area that is in pain or inflamed. And the Redox will help with that. So I even use this when I'm on my period. When I get my cramps, I take some of the Redox and I put it topically over the area where my uterus is. And it helps. My boyfriend again has been putting the gel in his hair, which is helping his hair grow back. Right now, currently, if anybody knows my boyfriend, he has covered in tattoos. He has been getting tattoos since he was in his 20. And he right now currently is getting one of his tattoos touched up. And so when he comes home tonight, we're gonna experiment with the gel to see if the gel heals the wound of the tattoo even faster. Now, we want everybody. I want everybody to have the best quality of life that you can have. What's the point in being a human being if you're too sick or too off balance to be able to actually enjoy your life? To be able to actually work out and have fun or to go bike riding with your children or get down and play dolls with your grandchildren. This ASEA is gonna help you and help your body achieve the life that you were meant to live in happiness and peace and health and in harmony. If you would like more information on ASEA, then please text Bryce Info to 321-216-8047. Again, that's Bryce Info to 321-216-8047. If you're texting from another country, please make sure you put plus one, 321-216-8047. And somebody will get back to you pretty quickly. They can, you can ask any questions you like of the product. You can find out more information about the Redox system. The person on the other end of the line will walk you through every option available to you at this moment. They can even try to help you get the products at wholesale prices. So again, knowledge is power, knowledge protects and knowledge is infinite, as I say all the time on this channel. If you want more information, please text Bryce Info to 321-216-8047. All right, you guys. So I was this morning, I was doing my light therapy. I'll do light therapy from time to time. And I was playing around with some of those YouTube shorts. Now, I have been a victim many times of narcissistic abuse as has Angie. I've been very honest and open about my past with trauma therapy. It used to be that I had the propensity of dating narcissist, but after going through trauma therapy, that stopped, but they're still in my lives. And I still continue for the 40 years of my life, getting myself into this cycle of getting involved with narcissist. And I, as friends, business deals, all that kind of stuff. And I've been really thinking like, what is it about me that keeps attracting these narcissists? Now we know that impacts do attract narcissists and I'm an empath, so is Angie. Angie, we've talked off camera. We've both dealt with narcissistic abuse, narcissistic smear campaigns, all that kind of stuff. But there is one verse in the Bible that I really like and it's ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be open unto you. And I was watching these shorts and I had been asking and meditating on this question, like what about me needs to be healed? So I stopped attracting these narcissists. And lo and behold, because God has a sense of humor, there was a little clip that popped up on my reels from Teal Swan. I know. Now I'm not a huge fan of Teal Swan. I think she's a cult leader, that's my opinion. But you can't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Obviously these cult leaders are speaking some sort of truth or else they wouldn't be able to be cult leaders, right? So I'm gonna try to play for you. I sent it to Angie this morning because all of a sudden when I heard what she was saying, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was like, oh my God, she's right. And then we'll explain deeper my realization and Angie's realization. But I'm gonna try to play this, you guys. For people who have a hard time with these boundaries and for people who call themselves empaths, it's actually the same childhood experience. It's that in childhood you've got an unpredictable adult. And that unpredictable adult, whether you're consciously aware of it or not, presents enough of a risk to you that you have to be hyper attuned because every move they make or don't make has some implication for yourself. So what a lot of people don't like learning about empaths is that because of this traumatic type of a childhood experience, they learn how to pay hyper attention and hyper attuned to. Anything in the room that is not okay. That's why you're never gonna meet somebody who's got this thing going who's like, you know, I just love being around people because I feel amazing. Because they're gonna walk in the room and instead of attuning to the person who's happy, they're gonna attune to the person who's got the issue because that's where the risk is. In case you wanna know why empaths always feel like crap. That's why. For people who have a hard time with these boundaries. Did you guys hear that? I hope that came through through the microphone. I'm terrible at technology, so I don't know how to share the whole clip. But basically what she said, and when she said, I listened to it like 10 times in a row because I was like, holy shit, holy fucking shit. Like this is exactly what my issue is. Let me explain it guys. So she's saying that when you are a child, now I grew up, I've been very honest. And if you guys hear banging, that's of course the construction next door. It's speaking of narcissists. No, there's another job. When I was a child, I grew up in what I now know to be a narcissistic system. So there are systems in play that are built off of narcissistic abuse. And so let me explain this. So I had narcissism in my family. I also went to a very high control, high demand elitist private school that's very lineage. And the whole system was based off of narcissistic abuse. It was very abusive. There's a lot of court cases against my school now that are currently playing out in present time from when I was a child there because a lot of my peers are starting to be like, oh fuck no, you guys abuse us as children. But it was based the headmaster, the administration, they were now as an adult, I know that they all had narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissists work well together. They were enabled by everybody else. And so the abuse was just compounded, compounded, compounded, which was called me and a lot of people who grew up in that situation to have complex post-traumatic stress disorder. Now a narcissistic system does not necessarily have to be in a fancy private school. It can be anywhere. It can be, it's just that the people at the top are working their, the lifestyle of a narcissist and you have to submit. Now when you're a child, what I mean by you have to submit, this is what Tilswan was saying. When you are a child, you cannot remove yourself from situations. So when we have our attuned to an unpredictable adult, or an unhinged, as a child, it's a subconscious threat. Our nervous system goes, this person is a risk to me. They are a threat to me. The first response naturally is what? Fight or flight? But as a child, you can't go anywhere. You have no, where are you going to go? So you start to placate and tune into the person, the adult who is the risk to you. So what does that mean? You're probably going to fawn. It's called fawning. You might, you know, trying to keep them happy, being a people pleaser, that's where the people pleaser, because you're trying to keep their emotional disorder. You're trying to keep at bay, because their emotional disorder is a risk to you. As the child, you're the one that pays the penalty when they become unhinged. All right? This is a form of survival really. Survival, absolutely it's survival. And when you come from a situation like my situation, in the growing up in the 80s and the 90s, I come from a very powerful family, both sides. And so even in my own family life, who am I going to go to? You know, from the outside looking in, this is a prominent family, and most of my family members are amazing, awesome people. But the ones who were narcissists and were mentally and emotionally abusing me as a child, the other adults did not step in to protect me at that moment, because this was something that really wasn't known, like this type of abuse is now really coming to the forefront. So what Tilsan was saying is someone like me, I learned as a child subconsciously, that when there is an adult who is a risk to my safety, it is my job then to protect myself. And the only way I can protect myself as a child is to make sure that adult is happy, is always happy, even at the detriment of my own happiness, to be a people pleaser, to constantly placate. Now when that translates into adulthood, as an adult, I have the power to walk away if I want to, but I'm stuck in that traumatic of post-traumatic stress disorder, that traumatic loop. So when I meet people who my gut tells me are a little unhinged, are a little crazy, I perceive them subconsciously as a risk. And so instead of using my adult authority to walk away, I try to placate them, I try to calm them down, keep them happy. I was telling my boyfriend this morning that I have, and I think I've said this on the show before, I have a distinct memory, I must have been like eight, nine, 10 years old, sitting in the back of my mom's car, my feet didn't touch the floor, that's how young I was. And my head came up to like here on the window, so I'm looking out the window, and I had this thought. It was like I was negotiating with myself. I remember thinking, Bryce, if you just do what people want you to do, they won't be mad at you, you won't get in trouble. I remember having, so that's what she's talking about. And so what tends to happen, especially if you're dealing with an unhinged person, a toxic person, a person with narcissistic personality disorder, a person with deranged delusional thoughts, any type of boundary you put up with that person, a perceived boundary, any time you stop placating them, you just say no, you then become attacked. And so the trauma continues. So it's just re-implementing itself in someone like my head that I have to keep people happy so that they won't hurt me. When in reality, in a healthy childhood, I would have learned from a very young age, the minute I feel like something's wrong, I just walk away before I get too invested, right? Does that make sense? Am I making sense? Make total sense to me because it's just really hitting home. I know I can see it on your face. And I was like, Angie, I texted you earlier this morning because I was supposed to film with Tamara this morning that got postponed until Friday. There was a conflict, so that's coming Friday, guys. But I texted Angie early after I saw that and I was like, girl, do you want to film? Because we can talk about starting the series and doing the series. And I was like, this is just mind-blowing. And I told my boyfriend this morning after I played it for him, I was like, it is your job as my partner to help me because now that I'm aware of what it is from, lo and behold, Tilswan, I guess that God has a sense of humor, now that I'm aware of where this comes from, I've been doing this for 40 years. So the habit is not going to stop overnight. So I told my boyfriend, I was like, you're going to need to help me when another person, another organic portal and other narcissist comes into my life, I need you to be the one to say, hey, walk away. Don't fawn. Just before you get invested, just cut it off, walk away. Yeah, so, yeah. So anyway, go ahead, Angie, what are your thoughts, girl? Well, I was picturing myself, oh, I'm getting brave, but I was picturing myself as you were saying all this about just keeping as long as, as long, you know, when you were in that car, as long as I just do what they like, as long as I just keep people happy, then I'll be okay. And I was just picturing myself early married, you know, before I started the business. I can remember everywhere I went, I was cat's mama, I was Mrs. Finn Tillman, I was, you know, the wife and the mom and the whatever. And then when I formed my own business and started getting out on social media and sharing my own innards with the world, the attacks started coming because, yeah. And then I would bow down and I would quiet in myself. I do this all the time, I'll just get really quiet. I won't start, I won't share anything for a while. I haven't been sharing lately, not real stuff. I share like fun little things, but I'm not really sharing my heart and soul on my YouTube lately. And it's just because there's just a lot going on. And I'm finding myself doing that thing again, that same loop of going, well, let me put the pacifier on, you know. Yes, because you're narcissistic. So for the other person, the unhinged individual, you know, narcissists don't have empathy. For someone like you, Angie, or myself, I'm constantly thinking about like, man, I'd feel really bad if somebody else experienced this. I would feel really bad. But a narcissist doesn't, they don't see you as a human being, just like an organic portal. You're what they call narc supply. You're a drug to them. So as long as they're able to feed off of you, as long as you're doing what you want them to do, despite the criticism, despite everything, then they're actually feeding off of you. But the minute you cut that narc supply, there's a backlash. You become the bad guy. You become, you know, narcissists have the propensity to be pathological liars. Now, I say pathological because that's a mental issue. That's different than just telling a white lie here or there. It's pathological because this is a disorder. It's a disordered mind. And that happens a lot in marriages. It happens a lot in friendships, in businesses. We see it a lot in the Great Awakening and our movement. I offline, I think yesterday I said, you know, I've seen more cruelty in the truth or community than I do coming from the normies actually. There's way more cruelty and evil in the truth or community than there is and then with the normal people. And so why is that? And a lot of people, you know, I was reading up about like narcissistic rage, smear campaigns, all that kind of stuff, the pathological lying that comes with smear campaigns, the links that these narcissists will go to because they don't have governors. They don't have a soul. They are organic portals. So they don't have a limit to what they will do. We all do things stupid. We all will say mean things to someone. But for someone who has a soul, they have, there's a governor on how far they'll go, right? There's not, there's not for a narcissist. And we have in the truth or community, and this happens a lot. This goes back to the childhood. We have what they call future faking. It's called future faking. You can actually look it up. Narcissistic abuse, future faking. It's a form of gaslighting. So it can be as little as, oh, I'm so sorry I blew up at you and I smeared you and I demoralized you. I promise you I won't do it again. You know what? Future, you're gonna be given a million dollars and I'm gonna praise you and it's a gaslight you and gets you back in. How many times have we seen in the, in this through their community, people saying, oh, the RV is coming tomorrow or oh, you know, this is gonna happen next week. And it never does. It's been three years now and people are still doubled down and believe it's coming because they're being gaslit by a charming individual who knows how to lie because they don't have governors, right? On their system. And so, and then a lot of us who are in impacts in the community fawn over these people because subconsciously we see them as a perceived risk anyway. We might not consciously be aware of it. So we're trying to keep them settled so that they don't hurt us. I hope I'm, it's making, it's like a light bulb went off this morning in my head. Is this making sense? Am I being clear about the greater, the macro and the micro of this? Yes. And for me, I tend to, and I think we all do. We, when we, in a relationship, I will just tell my whole story to somebody. So then they have all that info to use against me. Yeah, they'll twist it. They will twist it. I'm the same way. And my boyfriend's actually said that to me many times, like, stop telling everybody you're, I'm like, why, I'm not, there's nothing, I'm not hiding anything. Like, you know, I'm an open book. And he's like, no, just, you don't, you know, let people earn that from you. Let people earn, doesn't mean you're rude and nasty to people when you first meet them, but just let it be a slow progression. And, and I keep laughing when this is all over. We're all gonna need lots of therapy anyway. But, you know, I'm the last one to know that when someone doesn't like me. Way back in the past, I can remember this one particular person. It was a girl. And I remember like being big and pregnant and just laying on her carpet. She had the best air conditioning and carpet. You know, and I remember just going over and just like laying there and just telling her everything. And she's like been like just a terror in my life. She just knows everything. And that's the thing. Like instead of, instead of like really, every time I would talk to her, I don't talk to her anymore but she would bring up those things that really were really hard for me in my life that I'd shared with her. Well, how is so-and-so? How is your brother? How is, you know, is he in jail again? Oh, you know, well, how are you? You know, like it was always those things that were the hardest for me to deal with that she would always bring up. Never like, hey, what have you been up to lately? What you been doing? You know, or what it was always just picking. Like digging at you. Let you know, you're not okay. You're really not okay. Right, right. And I'm better than you. And one, even with a narcissist, it's literally, and you know, my therapist had said this to me. Boyfriend reminds me of this. When you're a healthy-minded person and just having, like I have CPTSD, I'm sure Angie, you probably have CPTSD too. Just because you have an anxiety disorder, you're still healthy-minded. You're still logical-minded. And, you know, my boyfriends and my therapists both like you can't, as a healthy-minded person, you will never understand the workings of a toxic mind. The fact that they, the links that they will go to to try to hurt you like that. And sometimes it can be a perceived, so a narcissistic injury. So the minute that you pull your narc supply away, be it with a romantic partner, a business partner, a friend, the minute you pull that that fawning away, that narcissistic, that boundary up, they see you as attacking them because you took away their narc supply. And I know that's crazy because, well, I say it's crazy when I first started therapy, I didn't even know what a damn boundary was. I was like, what's a boundary? Like, no one taught me boundaries as a child. No one, and looking back at my childhood, my, the adults in my life who were, I would say, sold people like me who were, S-O-U-L-E-D had a soul, they were dealing with the same issues I was dealing with as a child too. They just didn't have the resources to understand that this is a personality disorder and you can't fix it. And the best thing you can do is walk away. So they were in their own fight or flight response. So to try to give a child that protection was inconceivable because they were subconsciously through their nervous system, trying to protect themselves as well. And so it's just a whole messed up system. And yeah, so when the narcissist, when you put your foot down and you finally just say no, it can be just something simple as, no thanks, I don't wanna go with you or no thanks, I don't wanna do that show. They perceive you as abusing them because you had the audacity to say no to them or when their gaslighting stops working on you and you say no, I'm good, I don't believe you, I'm good, no. They see you then as a threat to them because you basically took their food away. They're energetic vampires. And so they have to go on the all out attack, the all out attack on you because how dare you not allow them to continue feeding off of you and abusing you? Yeah, I had someone last fall that was saying ugly things to me in a text message. And before I would have gone back and forth and tried to make this person understand me, you know. And yeah, and for once, I just said, I'm going to bed now. Like I typed back to her, I am going to bed now and I'm blocking you. Oh my goodness, I did two weeks. I just, now I haven't heard from this person since, but like, wow, but I do feel there's a tech going on. And that's, and if you guys, I will put like, there's some really great resources on YouTube like Dr. Romney, I love. There's some really great, a lot of them focus on like romantic relationships which is really important, but you can find someone that comes to like a bigger whole. Yeah, that you, when the smear campaign starts because it will, with a narcissist, it will. That's their, that's their modus operandi. It will just buckle up. The best retaliation is silence. Yeah. Don't, don't say anything. Luckily enough, I feel like because we are getting so close to the jump in fourth D, and I say this, you know, a lot of one says this, Cassio Pien says, we're kind of the bleed through right now where those of us, I think who are ascending are starting to really see it big time. Like people, narcissists can't hide anymore. The dysfunction, and it's interesting. Long before, I remember taking a walk, actually with Mr. Fox, and we were talking about just years ago about the law of one, and Mr. Fox was saying that according to, I think it's a Cassio Pien's, once we get to the bleed through stage, the people who are not ascending will be like basically be walking around the street talking to themselves. They're gonna be like the crazy people talking to themselves on the street. And I literally thought it was gonna be talking to themselves on the street. But what's the street corner? What's the street corner for us in 2023? It's the internet. The internet. It's gonna start happening. And I was like, damn, I remember that conversation. I was like, yeah, we're seeing it all over the internet of these people who are organic portals, who are narcissists, who aren't even gonna go fourth density negative because they don't have their upper chakra anyway, so they're just gonna have to go back to their density planet. They're talking to themselves. One of them even says, like there's this person that we mutually kind of know online. We'll do these voice messages and she'll say, this is, you know, she'll name her name and she'll go to the internet. Like she says she's talking to the internet. Like, it's crazy. Yeah, it's that shit. And for those of us that are ascending, now a year or two ago, people might have believed it because things were a little bit more hazy. There was more of a fog. And the fog is actually, therapy uses this as the fear obligation guilt. So that's what narcissists put you in. They put you in the fog. The fear, the obligation and the guilt. They make you feel bad. They make you feel obligated. They make you fear them. Again, that goes back to what Tilswan was saying, that fawning to make sure that perceived risk in your life stays even keel. They become your top priority. She said even as an adult, I thought that was powerful. When you walk into a party full of people, as somebody that experiences a child, you will be zoomed in on the one person who's in a bad mood because you're so used to that being the situation you had as a child. Whereas a person who grew up in a healthy childhood wouldn't even give that person in a bad mood the time of day. They'd be fixated on the people having fun and laughing. You know, but we're so aware of our surroundings when it comes to human beings. And for me again, so all the narcissists that have come into my life these past few years, I knew there was something off. My gut knew there was something off, but I was so used to my modus operandi to protect myself, to be defawn, and to keep them from losing their shit on me, then I wouldn't just walk away. Like I could have in the very beginning just been like, you know what, in my head, this person is obviously a pathological liar. This person's obviously crazy. I need to just, you know, whatever, you know, and then there wouldn't have been that much of a blowback because they weren't getting any supply from me anyway, so they would have had other victims to focus on. Because narcissists don't have friends, they have victims. Just know that, guys. They don't have friends, they have victims. They don't have the capacity to understand. There's also this idea of a goodwill. You know, when you have a long-term friendship with someone, or business ship, or you've known somebody for a very long time, there is what they call like a goodwill bank. Or over time, you've built up goodwill, or what's it called, rapport, goodwill between each other. You know, you've helped each other out, you've gotten to a level of trust. Well, for a narcissist, that doesn't exist. It doesn't matter all the things you've done for that person. It doesn't matter how much you've helped them out in the past. The minute you put a boundary up and say no, all that's gone, right? Now it's gone. So, and for you as the impact, you're left there broken, like, I just said no. Like, what did I do? But you have to understand, you're dealing with a level of disorder. And narcissistic personality disorder, guys, if you're really not familiar with this, I would look, because there's many different levels. Like, I believe, I keep hearing the word ownership in my particular case, like ownership, ownership. Like, I'm not my own. Yeah, you're not, no, they want to control you. And that's the thing. So, when you say no, when the gaslighting stops working, when you say, listen, no, I don't want to work with you anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. They've now lost control of you, right? They can't manipulate you anymore. This happened to me even in my business with my store. I used to have a brick and mortar store. And whenever I would quit carrying someone's product, I mean, as little as that, I would say, well, you know, they've gotten their product has gone onto big box stores and I was only carrying things that you couldn't get it everywhere else. Well, then they would, I mean, like a smear campaign again, like I would stop there. She's just, I mean, she doesn't carry my jelly. She carries somebody else's jelly. It was hilarious, really, when you think back on it. But it really happened where people, lots of different little businesses would just, if I quit carrying, like they want me to order from them and I would say, well, do you have a different product that you're not putting into the big box? Like, you know, in your product line, because I could carry that, you know? Oh, you know, they don't own you anymore. They don't own you. And the best thing you can do is just ignore them because if you keep, it's what called gray rocking, if you just keep ignoring them, you get boring to them all of a sudden and they will find the worst thing you can do is feed into it, because it'll keep them going. Yeah, I would find myself trying to make them feel better. I would say, look, you have something else. Like if you have, oh, I was looking at your Instagram and I see you're also doing this other little thing. Is that, you know, ready to go on the store shelves yet? You know, just to try, I don't know, to keep to people, please. Yeah, it's, and you're trying to manage. You're trying to manage the risk, because this person, I mean, narcissists are dangerous guys. They are dangerous, very dangerous people because they have no problem with lying. They have no, they don't, they have such an inflated sense of self. They, well, they don't actually have a real sense of self, that's the problem. They can't rest in themselves. Like they can't go off by themselves and just be quiet for a while. They have to have a, you know, but they think that they are, I had one therapist explain it this way. This is like kindergarten level and I loved it. You know, as a healthy person, you recognize that you are a special little flower, but you also see that everybody else is also a special little flower. We're all just special little flowers. For a narcissist, they are the special little flower and no one else is. How dare you, you know, have, and you have to remember, narcissists are part of the darkness so they can't create anything. So they also will steal ideas from you. They'll steal information from you. They'll steal your hard work from you and claim it as their own because they can't. I mean, and the smear campaigns I've had, I've had people say that they're gonna take my channel, that don't worry guys, my channel is gonna be given to them. What? I did all, this is my channel. Like I did all the work on this channel just because I said no to you. Like, you know, that, but that's the narcissist. And so, you know, and I think more and more people, and I think there's so many people watching right now that can relate to this because so many people have been through narcissist abuse and as we're seeing the great divide between fourth density negative and fourth density positive, we can go back in our lives and see where this divide is happening. Now a lot of, let me get, let me, I don't know if I've said this, but this is my opinion. All organic portals are narcissists, but not all narcissists are organic portals. What do I mean by this? Some overt narcissist could literally be a fully sold S-U-L-E-D person who has decided to go negative, okay? You can also have a low, a low ranking narcissist that just someone who has just has narcissistic traits that might be a distressed sold person, but a low ranking narcissist with just traits isn't gonna be as vindictive as the just all full-blown malignant narcissist, which is like, I think the worst is the malignant narcissist. It's like a sociopathic, my therapist called them narcopaths. The ones that were that way, they're narcopaths. They're literally sociopaths, psychopaths. I don't know the exact clinical definition between the two, but they kind of go up a notch in there and their delusion. They're the ones that are gonna be sending you death threats. They're the ones that are gonna be trying to invoke gang stalking and harassment on you, all because the punishment does not fit the crime. The crime was you just putting up a boundary and saying no, right? And so they're gonna try everything they can because they're so injured that you rejected them. They're so injured that they're gonna try everything they can to make you pay for that. Because they're hungry, so you put up that boundary, you say no, you're starving them. Yeah, absolutely. I was watching, because I love my reality TV, I was watching the whole Vanderpump rules, the scandal of all of it all, but anyway, don't look that up, it's a whole thing. But somebody made a good point, like in a narcissistic relationship with a narcissist. Before you've put a boundary up with your narcissistic partner, they're never home. Once you put that boundary up with your narcissistic partner, they're always home, trying to get that control back. And the problem too is when you grow up, and I know this was my issue with my ex who was a narcissist, when you grow up in an unstable home where there's a lot of a mental emotional abuse, you see that as love, like you learn that that's what love is. And so that's the habit I was in for my 20s and early 30s until I broke that habit by going through trauma therapy. Now, like I said, obviously I replaced the love interest with friends and business partners, but you know, which is a lesson learned from me. And I think the universe for putting that clip in my eye line this morning, because I was like, holy shit, holy shit. This is because of you, Darlington, the school, I'll just say the name, because I don't know what the administration is like right now, I can't speak on what the school I went to is like now in 2023, they might have cleaned themselves up, I don't know. But when I was a child at Darlington, it was, we were abused. And I know I'm not the only, I mean, I started getting back when I was on Facebook back in like my early 30s, I started getting these Facebook messages from kids I had gone to school with. It would be like, hey, question, were we abused? And we would start talking about incidents that we went through mentally. One person brought up an incident, I remember a teacher calling a student who had done nothing wrong, all these horrific names in the middle of the class. And it was so uncomfortable that the kids, us in the class were not responding to the teacher, we were worried about the students. And that teacher was never, never reprimanded. I mean, it's insane the stuff, but it was a narcissist system. So now, and I remember actually as a child having a moment of clarity, because with private schools, especially down here in the South, old private schools like that, it's lineage. My dad went there. It's a lineage, it's generation after generation after generation. And I remember thinking as a high school student at Darlington thinking, they're doing really bad marketing because there's no way to hell I'd send my kids here. Like I would never, and I remember saying to my parents at one point, you're paying money for us to be abused. Like there was some clarity I had that this was not normal. This was not normal. Our teachers would lie to us constantly. They would take other students like reports that they wrote, essays that they wrote from other classes and read them out loud and make fun of them. So as a student, you know the same things happening to your papers too. It was awful. It was horrible, horrible. My Spanish, when I was 15, I was extremely sick. They didn't know, I've talked about it, my crisis moment, it was all spiritual, but they were testing me for all sorts of stuff, like all sorts of cancers. And I got stuff, and that is a good thing about private school, they could just send my work home. So I didn't, I did it from the hospital, better from my house. And they were gonna test me. There came a point where I was gonna go to like one class a day and just rotate which class that was when I was trying to get, but they were gonna do a spinal tap on me. And my parents were going every week to the school to have a meeting with my teachers and the headmaster to get my work and to figure out the next plan of action. And so my teachers knew that I was gonna have a spinal tap on a certain day. I didn't know, my parents didn't tell me because they don't wanna freak me out. When you have a spinal tap done, they numb, it's not as bad as, it really isn't that painful, but because they numb you, they numb your whole lower body when they take the fluid out of your spine, right? And then you have to lay there for a good couple of hours so that your spinal fluid, they bring you stuff to drink. So your spinal fluid can build back up again. Well, I have the spinal tap done. They were testing me for some cancers and for meningitis. So it was very scary that that was scary at like 15 years old. And I missed a day of school. My parents, because I couldn't, I still had not received all my feeling back in my legs. And so my parents had called the school and said, hey, we're gonna bump the rotation back a day because she's still not really feeling her legs. Normal, right? Normal reason why? Well, so the day I went back to school, I already was seining out because I had like umbrows on and not our actual, what we were required to wear because I had a big patch on my back. So they knew I was gonna be out of dress code because so umbrows from the 90s. So I was already seining out that way. They would, I would get to the class early so I could set up so I wouldn't bump by other kids. And I was sitting there and Mr. Ortega, I'll say his name because I do believe he is in federal prison at this point for child abuse, I was told that. And when I was told, I was like not shocked. So what he did to me? So we're sitting there, it's awkward. I'm in the class with this like 30 something year old teacher, I'm 15 and no one's in there. We're just kind of sitting there waiting and also all the kids command class starts and Mr. Ortega, senior Ortega, proceeded to berate me in front of all my classmates. Who the hell did I think I was because I missed the day of the Spanish test because I had a spinal tap. And did I honestly think that my help was more important than the Spanish test? How dare I, it was awful. It was demoralizing. Me while at 15, I think I have, I've been told that I might have cancer at 15. I don't even have my driver's license at this point. Like I'm a child. And so I got back in the car with my mom and I started just busting and bursting out crying. My parents were furious. They went to the school, pulled me out of that class, put me back in French. It was just awful. But that's the type of abuse that was normal. That was normal abuse in the high. That was every, that was an everyday occurrence. And when that happens to you over and over and over again, you will do everything you can. And looking back with this particular teacher, all the students fond him. They all would bring him gifts, try to keep him happy. So. My daughter is going, has been going through kind of a similar thing at her school. And I just started the process yesterday of getting her out of that school. We're gonna do a charter school for her last year. And yeah, I mean, and here's the thing when we, the narcissist thing is that when they keep, like the school keeps trying to get in touch with me, you know, to, that I know what's going on because my daughter and I have a great relationship. They're trying to dress like you. The school should dress like you. So, and I don't respond to any of their calls. So I'm sure I could be made to look like a terrible mother. You know, but no, I think I'm being a very good mother and that I am talking to my child and trusting my child because we talk, like we know each other. I know what's going on. I've had to go pick her up, you know, where she's like hiding in the bathroom afraid to go back into the class because it's a bad teacher. Angie, what you're doing is you're providing her with a rescue as a child. So that the patterns that you and I picked up will not be repeated with her. Yeah. She'll have healthy boundaries. Whereas, you know, another parent is saying, you know, they're elders, they're your elders. You're supposed to respect your elders. But not if your elders are abusing you. No, no. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, think about that. So like in your daughter's case, my case, like, so let's think about that. So obviously my teacher was, in my opinion, I'm not therapist, but was a malignant narcissist. And he perceived me because I missed the Spanish test because of my spinal tap. It didn't matter that it was a medical emergency for me, a life or death, possibly issue. All it meant for him was that I was not there to take his test. And a test is a control mechanism. So for a logically-minded person, a healthy-minded person, they would be absolutely cool. We can risk the test that a Spanish test is of your least importance right now if you're literally fighting for your life. You know, this man had children, too. Like my parent, my mother was obviously stressed out because her child was sick. Like there, and a lot of some of the good, a couple of good teachers I had had that perception. Like, how are you doing? When I would go to like my geometry teacher, every time I'd walk in to do his class, he would sit down with me and be, how are you feeling? How are you doing? Don't do the homework if it's too much. You know, we had rules about going to the bathroom, but he would tell me, like, you know, if you gotta get up and go to the bathroom or you need to walk out for a minute, you just go. It's total understand. So there, so you could see the adults that had a logically healthy mind that this child was sick and they don't know what's wrong with her and she could be fighting for her life versus a narcissist where the life of the child or the person doesn't matter, doesn't matter at all to them because it's all about them and their narc supply. Unfortunately, I do think narcissism is probably rampant in teachers of children. I know they're really good teachers out there. I'm not generalizing and saying, obviously, my mother was a teacher, she was a great teacher, but I could see how that career would be enticing to a narcissist because you've got all these, like, especially teenagers stuck in a room and they can't go anywhere. You have full control. You know what I'm thinking? There's always this thing we talk about where the children coming into the world now, they're already way higher up than we are ascended. So I'm looking back on my high school years. I had three really amazing teachers. I still keep up with them to this day. I still remember particular conversations we had. I remember the way their eyes looked into my eyes. You know, like they were edifying for me and I think about them now and I'm like, but they're all like the same age too. They were all older then, whereas I don't know. I wonder if there's something to do with that, the age thing, the- Yeah, in my case with my teachers, because it was a private school, we had a lot of teachers in high school that were, like when I was 17, I had one teacher who was 22. Yeah, they're just a little bit different. Yeah, like my boyfriend is 11 years older than me. He's older than some of my teachers were in school. And a lot of them were in kind of like a gap year between university and law school or med school. So that wasn't their career choice and because my school was a boarding school and a day school, a lot of the faculty could live on campus free of charge. Like they had dormitory apartments for teachers. They had faculty housing. And I did notice that too, you're right. The older teachers were usually the ones that were, they were like the career teachers that wanted to teach. You know, everybody always complains about middle school. I loved middle school because Mr. Van asked who was our principal of our middle school at Darlington was amazing. Like he was such an incredible, as people still love Mr. Van Ass. And that school, Darlington did him dirty in his final years. They talk about narcissistic abuse. And there was a whole, like we got, we got a whole support page up for him because as an adults from him being our, because everybody loved him so much. And, and that's why I think I had such an incredible three, our middle school was sixth, seventh and eighth grade. I remember it thoroughly. I loved middle school. Those were the happiest years of my life was middle school because my school was fun. School was fun. All of my teachers were older people. And so they were, they were actual teachers. They were the, but high school, no, high school. I have, I have missing memories. I, I, there's some memories I have missing from high school. That's how traumatic it was. This is even making me think about the priest. I used to work in a preschool. I don't know if you knew that. And I, I know, I worked with different teachers. I was, I was just a substitute. So I would come and be the aid with all these different teachers. And even in preschool, now when I say preschool, this is the church preschool. It's like age two, three and four, like babies, little babies. Even there, the older teachers that had been there forever were so sweet and kind and were really good. So whenever the little children would have conflicts, you know, I remember one teacher, Miss Camersham, she was so amazing. She would just say, oh my goodness. Like if the child came and tattletailed, she had a little paper bag and she'd say, oh, tell it inside the bag and then we'll, we'll close up the bag and then we'll, we'll, you know. And she would do things like that. She'd also do things like, oh, friend. Like if there was a little child being, you know, disruptive or whatever, she'd say, come here, friend and give that child a hug. And she goes, oh, I just think you need a hug. You need a hug. And that child, I watched it day after day working with her. That child would just, just, you know, something would click and- They were getting that love. And so she was probably curing some issues before issues even had a chance to start. Amazing. I worked with a teacher, Mrs. Marks, Miss Shirley Marks. It was her last year teaching and I got to work with her that whole year. She was actually my husband's kindergarten teacher. That's how long she had been at that school. And I got to work with her her last year in her retirement. And it was the same then. I mean, she was just so wise, so much wisdom there. And the younger teachers I worked with were awful. Just awful. And I got to see the difference because I traveled, you know, to all the different classes, but with all these different teachers and it's pretty funny. It's interesting, Mr. Fox did an episode with Aquarius Rising after yesterday. I'll put it down in the description box below where they were still continuing. I'll put all our past episodes in organic portals down below too guys if you missed it. But they talked about narcissism now is very rampant. And I think it's because we're getting ready to split. So people are showing their choices basically. But Mr. Fox said something that also our society right now enables narcissism. It enables it. You know, it promotes it. And I know I've got to hop off soon because I actually have to hop on with Shanti as well. But I was gonna say you guys, like what Angie, like as somebody yourself, I've gone through narcissistic abuse. You've been through narcissistic abuse. It is one of the worst things you can go through. It will bring you to the points of complete devastation. You'll be trying to figure out why it's even going on because you didn't do anything. And so Angie, what would you be your biggest advice to somebody going through this right now as a friend? We're not therapists. We're not, I mean, go to a therapist for sure. But as a friend, if somebody's watching right now, one of our friends are watching right now and they're going through this, what would you be your biggest advice to these people? What would you say to this? Just to have listened at least to the part about when you say no, when you take that, take your power back. Take your power back. Cause I'm in it, you know, in many ways in my life. Just saying no, I used to conform and just go along with groups and just kind of keeping the peace. And oh, I'm supposed to do this and that and the other because I am living in this town and this is the way things are. And I'm married into this family and this is what they do. And then this is what this club that I'm in does. And well, all the other wives are this way. So, okay, well, I'll be that way. There's watch videos, honestly, watch videos because I will find myself going back into that loop of doing the people pleasing again. And so it's really good to just have those reminders. Like you said, when you woke up this morning and that till swan short played for you and you needed that and it struck up all this. Well, for me, it's like sometimes just to have that reminder of, you know, I mean, sometimes I just have to go on and say. Oh yeah, you can type in narcissistic rage, narcissistic smear campaign, narcissistic pathological lying, yeah. And it's not gonna make sense. I love, I'm just the other day I thought about this. It's like, whenever I would take my kids to target, you know, and we'd be in that checkout line and my little boy would want Pokemon cards, which, you know, I'm like, those are so stupid. And I wouldn't let him get them or just whatever it was, a piece of candy or whatever. Or I was actually pretty good. I mean, my kids really didn't pitch a whole lot of tantrums, they just knew better. But, you know, you'd see it a lot in the lines. Like people either giving in or I just heard the other day, I just heard a woman the other day, what were you doing? We were getting Rosie's license and we're in like the DDS in Greensboro, Georgia and there's a mom there like just chewing out her kids. Just, you know, she's like, I'm gonna spank you when we get out in the car. You don't stop it, you don't stop. And they're just like screaming and hollering at each other in front of everybody and, you know, pulling on her son down the hall and Rosie and I are like, oh my God. Like, there is a way to do it, you know. So the fits that these narcissists do are just like a kid kicking and screaming on the floor, not making any sense because you've told them no. You've told them no. And so I don't know, it kind of went on a little rant there a bit. No, but it is, it's a temper tantrum. Yeah, it's a temper tantrum from an adult. And it's not gonna make any sense. No, it's not. It doesn't always make sense. It's not, you know. We try to make it make sense. Like, what did I do? What can I do to fix it? To make them stop teaching this fit? Nothing, you can't do anything. And it's gonna happen, you guys. Like there's no place stating you can't, yeah, all you did was say no and you have a right to say no. You have a right to have your own boundaries. You're not a martyr. You can't save anyone anyway. You can only save yourself. It's gonna come, it's gonna happen. As people said to me, this is an opportunity for you to get to see who your real friends are. People who believe the narcissist, especially when it's freaking crazy, they're not here for your highest good anyway. And if they can't see it for what it is, then good luck to them in life. You know, because they're gonna probably be the next victim of someone like this. And there is help out there. I know that narcissistic abuse can make you feel very suicidal. I get it. Trust me, I totally get it. Don't hurt yourself. That's what the narcissist wants you to do. They want, I mean, that's the whole point of an organic portal is they want you to die, right? So please reach out for help. There are lots of support groups out there of narcissistic abuse. Narcissistic abuse will can change your brain chemistry. As I've gotten older, I've noticed that I have a lot of ADHD personality types and I would have never thought of myself as someone with ADHD. And then I saw another video where narcissistic abuse physically changes your brain chemistry when you've been under so much abuse that you can start showing signs of ADHD as an adult. Because ADHD is kind of like an anxiety disorder anyway. So that's how traumatic this is. Please get the help. Know that you are very loved. Please know that the people who love you want you here and know that this, whatever the narcissist is doing to you isn't true. The truth, stand in your truth. The truth always comes out. Karma is a bitch. And I will say, and I know it's hard. I know it's really scary to go to law enforcement. I know that because you're terrified of the narcissist anyway. But if they are threatening your safety, law enforcement have been amazing with me. They have really helped me. And they are used to this. They know what this is. And they take death threats very easily, very seriously because the bad ones go there. The malignant ones go there. And so they gang stalking crimes. This is federal. What they're doing, if you're in a situation where you've gotten to that point, where the narcissist has gotten to that point, this is federal crime. And so you as the victim have every right to seek your own protection. And so please do. I know it's scary. And the officers of law enforcement know you're scared. They know you're scared. And they're gonna handle that. If you're a female, you can request to speak to another female officer. Just please protect yourself and know that you are worth protecting. And you're welcome to reach out to me. If you are, I'm sure Angie too, if you're in a situation where you just need a shoulder to lean on. That's why I started my channel. You are loved. And we're moving into a world where hopeful will, I know, if portency positive, this shit's not gonna exist. It can't exist because there's no line in portensity positive. And narcissists, narcissists are, well, they think they're good liars. Some of them are not smart enough to be good liars because some of them, but really bodacious lies out there that can be easily proven false. But just ignore them guys. Don't feed into it. Don't respond to it. I'm like, you Angie, I block the last situation. I blocked right away. I just blocked. Let them talk to themselves. Let them have arguments with themselves. You did nothing wrong. You just said no. All right, so we're gonna be filming with our friend Eric soon to go over the bite model, which again is a huge, we've talked about it a lot on my channel before. We're gonna talk about it again because this narcissistic abuse is rampant in the truth or community. This cruelty makes me not even wanna be a part of this community because the, not our community on Esoteric Atlanta, let me rephrase that. Everybody on this channel is amazing, but like just the greater community as a whole with all the abuse that's going on, you know, the not people who don't conform to the narrative of the future faking that these narcissistic platform owners give you that future fake. And if you don't conform to it, if you say, no, I don't think that's accurate, then you're the bad guy, that's abuse. So they have them chasing the carrot. That's what they have. It's called future, there's an actual clinical term for it. It's called future faking. If you are a part of the truth or movement, you've never heard of this before, knowledge is power, knowledge protects, knowledge is infinite. That's your homework today. Research, narcissistic abuse, future faking. Very informative and go, oh shit, we've all been deceived. So not saying that there isn't a beautiful future ahead of us, we just don't know what that looks like because we don't know what that looks like. We haven't been privy to what's gonna happen. We just know that it's coming. So just rest in that faith and live. How many people have like gone bankrupt because they're waiting for an Asara? It's not coming yet. I don't know if it's even coming. I have no idea how that's gonna work. Just keep taking care of yourself, you guys. So anyway, I gotta hop off because I gotta go to Aquarius Rising Africa. So I think this video is gonna be airing after I do my show, the Aquarius Rising Africa. But I love you, Angie. I love you. And we're all walking each other home. We'll all get through this. We'll continue this conversation. If there's an aspect of narcissistic abuse that you want us to cover on a show, leave it down in the comment section below. I am looking to get a therapist on this show to also do a really deep dive into what narcissism is, narcissistic abuse. I don't wanna use my therapist because I feel like that's a conflict of interest. So I'm looking for another therapist. If you know a good therapist that wants to come on the show, let me know. I have reached out to the big therapist on YouTube. Finally enough, haven't heard back, but they have like millions of followers. So didn't really expect to hear back. But if you have a therapist that you know would wanna come on the show and talk about the clinical, what this is clinically, then just let me know, guys. Anyway, all Angie's links will be down in the description box below as well. And we will talk to you soon. Bye, everybody. Bye.