 Hi, my name is Denise Deneen and this is Holistic Happenings home version because I'm quarantined like most of you are because of COVID-19 I'm doing my show from home I thought it would be interesting to explore the mental and emotional health of our tweens our teens and middle schoolers During this time the quarantine. I have three interviews The first one is a middle school coordinator and teacher and she has a unique perspective Because she works with the students she works with the teachers and she works with the parents So she has a lot of helpful tips for us. My second interview is my 12-year-old son and This pretty candid. He did not know what the questions were going to be and I had no idea what his answers were going to be and this gives us and it gave me a good insight on the different platforms that the kids are using at this time and some of the social aspects of the quarantine anxiety and the struggles that he and I are both dealing with with the online schooling and being Quarantine together and my third interview is with a social worker and She has some great information for us as well. So I hope this finds you well and more importantly I Hope this information gives you some insight and it's a little bit informative and maybe brings you some peace knowing that you know, we are all in this together and and it will shed some light on Maybe Talking to your own teens and tweens about some of the topics That my son and I have talked about. So I hope this finds you healthy. We are all in this together and we're gonna get through it So remember get inspired get healthy and have some fun along the way Be kind to yourself and be kind to others until we meet again Thank you Hi, my name is Denise Dean and this is holistic happenings and I'm interviewing my son Matthew Dean and Matthew is 12 and a half and he's going to be 13 in June and he attends Middle school at McDuffie's and Granby, Massachusetts, and I thought that I would talk to Matthew about how he's failing about the quarantine and Doing online schooling and any kind of stress that he may have besides doing this interview right now So Matt, how are you feeling about being 14? It's really stressful the schools are giving out a lot of work It's just a lot So Do you like having the school work is some structure do you find some kind of comfort in it? I mean, I know that you want to play video games all day, but Yeah, the teachers host Online classes and you can email them to schedule like a one-on-one if you need help with something or Like it's not really as much of a like grading like Out of a hundred it's more of like if you turn it in let's just like you get it done so and then you're doing it through a zoom and Do you get to see everybody and you get to see your teachers and your classmates or I know there's that option where you can Like commute it. Yep, you can mute it and you can turn off your video You're having a bad hair day You can wear a hat What are your feelings about this quarantine and COVID-19? Is it is it scary for you or This is all new and you tell me around that It's it's really it's weird not being able to do anything. It's it's really different and The store is running well on stuff. It's kind of it's stressful Not being able to go to school. It's a lot different doing online classes So it's a lot easier just going to school for me because I can stand top of my work more And it's easier to know what you have can you because you can talk to the teachers in person? so it's a lot easier and Yeah, I'm not I'm I'm afraid of it, but I'm I'm not afraid of it, but I'm Cautious I'm not scared of it, but I know that it's a worry You know that you just can't go over to the neighbors across the street And just get real close and play with them You guys go out and you ride your your bikes, but you're not riding them together. Yeah, right? So you're pretty aware of that You had expressed to me about Some concerns that you had about what you saw on snapchat As far as some of the kids and how they're reacting to the COVID Yeah, there's a lot of people asking on their snapchat stories. So like if people want to hang out and stuff or like Like screw the quarantine. I want to hang out with people and stuff like that and It's really do you think that they're really doing that or they're just yeah, they like they like post on their stories like oh I'm with my friend Like everybody cares, but nobody cares and it's the parents fault of the one you make out It's annoying. It's just it's not that hard to stay in your house Yeah, well, you can go. I mean we we've got quite a bit outside. Yeah, we're not hanging out No, right, so we're keeping our social social distancing What is the biggest worry for you? Around all this you think this is gonna be something that's gonna change things for us in the future on how school is or how we conduct Ourselves and public spaces. I feel like it's gonna change. I feel like we're gonna take more precautions for like the common flu and just make sure that we Stay home stay home if we're ill more than we do That's important is that I know that you know, they they are very They're right on top of you know, anyone that's there at the school and they're keeping it Yeah, yeah, they're protecting everyone, right? Is there anything that you're missing besides the friends that And being with the friends at school I've missed school in general. It's it's a lot easier to communicate with teachers and like letting them know that you have your work done because if you forget to turn something in or If you have something done and you don't turn it in It's like a lot of stuff and they're posting all this stuff um Like work at the same time as other teachers And it's hard for them to know like what other classes you have and what you have to do for work So it's a lot more organized when you're at school Do you feel that that's a It's a huge learning curve for them, too They've never been through this and they're trying to take care of their families during all of This quarantine, so It must be stressful On their end as well Yeah, yeah Are you finding? Other ways to to cope with this and what do you do to To to use your time up I go outside a lot. I ride my bike. I build I build jumps outside for my bike and I play a lot of video games Yeah, you have always been outdoors a lot, right? So we ride the bike with dirt bike You did go fishing We're doing a lot of stuff inside too and you're helping me with you know cleaning the basement and all that fun stuff Right. I I think that you have been You know pretty Reserve with the game playing It's not like you are you know all day Playing video games. There's a lot of work to do. There's so it's keeping you busy Right. Yeah Do you miss Seeing other family members or having to come over or And Patrick and Danny come over but they're not it's you know, they're keeping the distance and you know, Patrick will bring over groceries for us and what he leaves it on the patio and Yeah You want to just jump in the car and just go What would be what's going to be the first thing that you do when You just get back to normal What you want to do go to the dirt picture or Hang out with my friends Hang out with your friends and what are you gonna what is hanging out with your friends and what are you gonna do? Probably go somewhere with them or I wouldn't want to go to like bounce or something like a trampoline park But like so that would be a worry for you. That would be concern Kind of I just wouldn't feel like Just wait like a month to go into like To go because you never know all those kids that are like wiping their noses and stuff and Yeah, I mean gross anyways. It's it's true Hmm, so that's interesting Are you do you think I like would go into the movies or Just going to the mall. Is this gonna be something that's you know in the back of your mind that you're thinking about? Yeah Not so much of a worry, but like Not everybody is gonna get cured right away Or it's not going to be safe right away. I don't know. Yeah, it's No, I feel like it's never gonna really be gone. You're still gonna have to take Really be careful. Mm-hmm It's not it's not going to be as bad. Yeah. Hello, right So what do you do when you want to talk to your friends? Do you just talk to them during a video game or I I've seen you do Face timing Yeah, so there's this thing called discord that I use you can uh Join different servers with like hundreds of thousands of people And just what is that? I didn't yeah, there's this thing called discord discord. Yeah Is it an app? Oh, yeah through your computer and You can add your friends and go into like calls and make group calls You can join a server that Has a bunch of people in it and they host tournaments for money and stuff and what kind of tournaments is that? What is that? Fortnite tournaments So this is just for video games. Yeah, okay So how do you? um Determine who is in this group and who's not I mean that's kind of Worry some to have these now. You're saying that anybody can come in and and Have to have an invite. You have to have an invite. Yeah, okay, so it's usually just the people that you know Right. Well, you don't know everybody because there's a bunch of people but a lot of Professional players join it. It's not dangerous. No You just find you can find people to play so you can like There's just looking for players groups. You can just say uh Fortnite 2v2 Zone war or box fight or these different types of battles that you can do um and so And then they message you their username you add them on the game and then you play them And then yeah, so is there other social media platforms that are don't involve any of video games that you can act with your friends with And it was tiktok, right that you can do Your dances and stuff There's people that do dances. There's comedy. There's like acting. There's all sorts of stuff on tiktok But discord is mainly for communicating. You can't post anything. It's not really a social media It's just for talking to your friends A lot of people post stuff on instagram um So as a parent um parents main concern is to keep you safe and not have you Exposed to You know things that you're not maybe ready for At your age, you mean you're 12 Right, I mean you gotta be 13 in june, but um, you know, it's not as like bad as Like you think it is it kind of it's like It's none of that. It's just like You find someone to play and you play It's not really anything personal They don't know anything about it. It's nice to be together and Yeah, so you have to so it's like if if someone's mean you just leave It doesn't really matter There's no reason for you to get upset because there's just those people Okay, and they're if if they're making fun of you they honest they probably have something going on Well, I mean we all have something going on don't we right well, yeah I mean everybody knows but you know kids are gonna deal with it differently when their anxiety and What they're going through in their family situation and Not everyone has um what you have and so we have to be a little bit kinder You know to each other right pretty fortunate Um What you have you can tell me a little bit more about um Your worry as far as um like food and So is there something that you would like parents to know do The kids and speaking on behalf of you know other kids that are your age Is there something that you would like to tell the parents? Um, don't let your kids You're weighing out with friends It's kind of stupid. Oh, okay Right, if they're gonna don't take well sometimes, you know, you're gonna be you're gonna put on something on snapchat, right? And so I think you you you have to remember that this stuff does not go away. This is It's always gonna be out there. It's not anything that you can change Once you do it, right and if there's something that you're gonna say On social media that's not gonna be nice So you what is it? They're we usually say you need to say if you're gonna say it to their face Right if you're not gonna say it to their face. If it's something that you say You should be able to say it to their face and not just because you feel like you have um, you know You just you're able to say and do what you want because you're kind of an anonymous, right and you Right, there's these things that people post on snapchat They're called yolos And so someone posts on their story This little box that says Whatever they want to say this is like Ask me questions or something or tbh which means to be honest and then they say they made So like their honest thoughts about you so like People who post those and then some people post like Me and stuff on there, but they don't they can't really do anything about it because it's anonymous Like actually anonymous so and what is that called yolo and is that what is that? What now? Yeah Yeah, and do you have that? Yeah. Yeah, but I post it on my private story for people that I know Okay So That can be concerning Right Yolo new so can you can you put? Restrictions or parents controls on that Um No, so how do parents keep track of all this stuff with their kids? Um Well, don't check their phones first of all don't check their phones. No Because not makes them feel even more insecure Makes them feel insecure about what they Look up or they may maybe don't want you to see and Their trust we just get slower and they Be over-scripted You understand how we want to protect you. Yeah, right? Right, but it's also the learning process for the kids. They don't want to like They don't want to They want some sort of freedom and they don't want to have other stuff taken away if the parents see like them posting Things that they don't want them to post like Maybe like something that swears in there or something Which I get why they would be mad, but it's also like I'm not saying the kids should be able to do anything they want, but like The parents shouldn't be able to just go through their phone But it's also like an invasion of privacy. Yeah No, this makes you all kind of In a bubble because we can't get out of Yeah Do you what are you the right? Yeah, your friends do Do their parents Have their phones and go for their phones? No, it's almost like a diary, huh? Yeah if there is um A boy or girl watching this and they're having um a really hard time and they're kind of depressed and You know, they're feeling isolated. Is there any suggestions that you have for them? And all they should do um Play video games What if they don't have video games? Maybe go up Go outside and I don't know Yeah You feel better when you go outside and you're um Yeah, I don't really think about anything other than what I'm doing Same with playing video games. I don't think of anything Is there anything else that you want parents to know? Let's go into this and um What what do you want me to know is there something that I should be doing or you would like me to do more? um Or less of Make more smooths I don't know Yeah, that's all I have to say. That's all you have to say Yeah So what about bedtime? Because this isn't a vacation, right? Well, it depends what you have on very The coronacation. It's well, it's not That's it's not a vacation But we have to be kind of flexible with our schedules, right? And we can't have a lot of expectations We're all you know in this together and we're We're partners in this, right? You know Yeah, so it's it can be it can be hard Uh To be cooped up with each other constantly Yeah To give each other space I feel like If you don't have anything going on the next day Just like you wouldn't on on a weekend a weekend's a little mini vacation Where you can't do anything you want. So if you don't have anything going on you don't Staying your same schedule as it as if it's a weekday because you know everything going on But don't you feel better when you have structure and you you know When you're expected to go to bed and you know when you have a time that you're going to wake up and you're not sleeping all day Right and well, I like waking up early. The feeling of waking up early is one of the best feelings Like waking up early by yourself Not getting woken up Is one of my favorite feelings. Really? Yeah I didn't because I like being efficient But Efficient but not too efficient. Yeah Sammy look how we have bedtime is one of the worst Oh, well You know, I don't see you in my day Oh, wow, that's part of being a parent Is to ruin your day But there is um I don't know. I feel that there's some comfort in that Is there is for me to have a schedule and and have an idea, you know, what's next and Especially in this because everything is so unstructured right now and and we don't really know what's going on And you don't watch a lot of news No, and they'll tell you a lot But you have an idea of what's going on Yeah Do worry about your brother Dan at all Not really No I think he's fine He says he's fine, right? Yeah, if he if he gets it he's If even if he did he's not gonna get it whether if you did get it So where where they would go in where does Danny work? At a hospital, yeah, so he works in the emergency room at a hospital right and but the amount of stuff they wear it's like And one of the people you've worked with got the larger Yes, yeah, but didn't they get rid of it soon? Yes, they want to quarantine. Yes, you don't even you don't know um It's scary, right? Yeah, yeah, but you don't worry about him Well, I don't know his personality is just I It is kind of mean but his personality is kind of laid back and yeah, okay Yeah So, um Yes, so he's an emergent working in the emergency room um At the hospital, so that that worries me a little A lot of weird and concerned and then um Your older brother is teaching online Yeah, so, you know, um, you know family members that are very affected by By this quarantine and and by this virus COVID-19 Yeah, so Is there any questions that I can answer for you about the virus or Anything that you want to ask me in general? Anyway So you want you want school to start you think it's going to start some this year At the end of the spring Do you do or no? I think we're going to get to some of the most good, right? I think you might be right Okay, you good to go. All right Thanks Well, thank you for joining me on my little interview with Matthew on The effects of the COVID-19 um and His emotional and mental health seems to be good