 Ranger Bill, Warrior of the Woodland, struggling against extreme odds, traveling dangerous trails, fighting the many enemies of nature. This is the job of the Guardian of the Forest, Ranger Bill, pouring rain, freezing cold, blistering heat, snow, floods, bears, rattlesnakes, mountain lions. Yes, all this in exchange for the satisfaction and pride of a job well done. You know, there are very few men who make good housekeepers. A man can be neat and clean, keeping his own house, but it just isn't the same as when a woman's around to do it. Let's face it, fellas, they have that certain knack. Now take for instance myself. I can keep my workshop looking like it's been polished every day and it looks good. But in the house? Well, that's a different story. It's not only polishing and scrubbing that counts, but it's a woman's touch. I like to call this one the Battle at Jenkins Manor. Hey, Stockbreak, come on. I've got to drop you off at headquarters on my way to school. All right, all right. Keep your pajamas on, sonny. You look like a monkey in a junk barrel. Yeah, you would too if you lived in this house. I can never find anything. That's for sure. You never put anything back where it belongs. Listen, I am so busy finding stuff, ain't got time to put it back. What are you looking for? Have you tried your dresser? What's the matter with you, Stumpy? You sound like a bear with lockjaw. I've been wondering that too, Grey Wolf. We call him Grumble Junkie. What's wrong now? Roof falling? No, it's just that I can never find anything. I'm so busy looking, ain't got time to be... You mean you're a pilot, Stumpy? Pilot here and pilot there? Cut it off your chest. Because ain't no good at it. Well, that's strange. You need as a pin with trail cabins and packs and tools. That's different. Well, friend, I know you don't like to talk about your wife brings back too many wonderful memories and tragic ones too. Ah, I not know you have a wife all the time. Yep, I did. And Marthi and me was married for ten years. She died of typhoid fever. Maybe that's what set me off this morning. What do you mean? Something stirred up sacred memories? Yep. They would have been married fifty years today if she had lived, Grey Wolf. She was a wonderful woman. Marthi never had an unkind word for anybody or anything. In those days I wasn't a Christian. I was a real ripsnorter. Yes, sir, she kept a perfect house. It was homey and comfortable. Yes, sir, it's been forty years, but I can remember like it was yesterday. Have you thought about getting a housekeeper? I'll answer twice, but nobody could keep house like Marthi. They know you. She spoiled me from bad. Oh, I'll be all right in a few days as soon as I get over feeling sorry for myself. That's something. You got different colored boots on. One butt skin and one black. I'm surprised you haven't got a butt cross-footed, Stumpy. I almost did. Marthi, see you come to work with those unmatched boots on? Your headquarter is Bill Jefferson speaking. Oh, hello, Pat. What's the matter with Stumpy? Barefooted. Without my shoes on! What's that, Pat? You hurt him? Okay, so long. The last art or long rip, sir. Better take Bill's advice and get a housekeeper. No, Paul! I got coming and clean house. Then I should be able to get organized. Are you sure that crazy old Indian fighter won't get mad at me for coming along? No, Pat. He'll growl and growl, but he won't get angry. I've sure got a feast me o' noise in this house-cleaning effort of his. So have I. As I live and breathe. Hey, I wonder what he's up to? Bless me a confit if I know. Hey, Stumpy, don't jump out of the window. It's not rotten. I'm going to wash it. I thought for the minute this house-cleaner had got the best of you. Stop wagging Blackfeet inside. I've written them off with you, and I'll make you some coffee. There's as fine an idea as ever I've heard. Come on, Bill. Boy, me poor old Blackfeet appreciate having the Lord left it from them. There it is. Coffee's fine me, boy. And so is your house-cleaner job. It does look pretty good if I say so myself. How long will it stay this way, Stumpy? You see, if I have to recall the appreciation I get. I sure know, ain't you the limit? You've done a fine job, old Timer. I can even see the top of the dining room table now. Hey, what do you know? It's walnut. Well, thanks for the coffee, boys. I've got to get back and pound me beat. There are citizens of this town are paying me to do me duty and not to lollygag around. Well, keep up the good work, old Timer. Some help you are. I'm trying to keep the work down. Oh, you sure do a plenty good job on house-cleans, Stumpy. Why do you not get house-keeper now? Or keep it nice? Nope. Can't see it, Sonny. Now don't. Okay. I think maybe you like to take it easy now. Ha! I think you changed mind about house-keeper plenty soon. Hell if I do! Oh, forget it, Stumpy. You're welcome any time, you know. Sure I... Good night, old Timer. See you in the morning. Henry must be in trouble. Supposed to be picking up the old Timer and the way to school. Ranger one to Henry. Ranger one to Henry. What's wrong, pal? I can't rouse Stumpy. What? You can't? Not only. And how? We'll be right there. He's lying on a chair. His hands, old bandy stuff. I hear some trouble last night. I'll say. Let's wake him up and find out. Stumpy, stop. It's morning. I stopped by to pick you up. What happened to you? How'd you cut yourself? Why are you sleeping in the chair? You'll never believe me. Well, try us out. I got to sleep and the alarm went off pretty quick. You cut hand fixing radiator? Nope. Making breakfast. Oh, no. Yep. I was squeezing oranges. And the squeezer broke and cut my hand. Oh, Stumpy. Now, that time the toast started burning so I took it out and got blood on my cereal after I wrapped my hand and I found out after the first mouthful it was... Leave until noon, Stumpy. Then come to work. You had a rough time. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, they can talk. And I... Okay, shoot. Hey, now you're talking. Ah, so you finally gave in. Sure. I know of a fine housekeeper, Stumpy. And if she'd be only too happy to have the job, Mrs. Murphy. Make it, Murphy! The same. And a fine lady. What do you say, old timer? Call her up right now. See, talking with the lady's young fella? How about you asking her? Sure. I'll do anything to make sure you're not going to keep on living alone. It's too dangerous. Are you still looking for a housekeeping job? Sure as a duck likes to swim. And who may I ask if you got in mind? Stumpy Jenkins. That old wiretog! Oh, come on now, Maggie. He's not as bad as all that, I'm sure. Oh, I think not, Billy. Bye. Well, let's see. I'll come about noon each day and keep house and I'll fix his supper. And then I'll come home to my own brood. Ask him how that sounds. I'm sure it'll be very satisfactory. When can you start? In the Maranan. Good. Thanks a lot. Thank you, Bill. The good lord has answered my prayers for a part-time job. Part-time job? You have another one? What do you think keeping house for a man and five boys is? You're a big load off your mind. Know that when you get home this evening, suck will be ready and that house clean is a whistle? You'll find out, Henry, right? You'll like it, fine. Henry's speak truth. And nothing like woman touch around house. Hard! We agree, Stumpy. Thank you, Stumpy. It's probably been a blue moon since you had a home-cooked mare. Heckish. Well, dig in. I'll eat with you tonight and clean up afterwards. But I'll not spoil you this way every night, Stumpy Jenkins. None of the dishes are washed and put away. So I'll be running along home to my own brood. Thank you, Maggie. In the morning, I want things spick and spun when I get here. No leave on the breakfast dishes and bed on maid. I'll pull the mattress and air it once a week and change the bed clothes. What's so funny? I was thinking about the mattress. What about it? I want fresh air once a week. Oh, Stumpy. It'll probably catch its death a cold. Oh, good night. I keep eating like this. I'll have to have my britches let out. What are you looking for? The socks. What's that on the dining room table? It works like she mended them. Don't tell me all your socks had holes in them. What's the difference? Long as they don't show? I tucked your other uniforms to the cleaners this afternoon and two pairs of boots to the shoemaker. So you don't wash your ears neither, eh? Who cleaners? They did. I like to be clean. Oh! They weren't. They're so spotted they look like leopard skins. And as for your boots, you old buffalo, I don't see how you can stand the walk on your bare feet. It is. Excuse me, fellows. I thought it was top brass from Washington by the cut of that uniform. Wow. Don't get close to those craces or they'll cut you. Look at that. Look at those boots. Why, but shine like brand new. Yeah. What about that hat? It's the first time I haven't seen rain spots on it in a year. Pretty sharp-looking ranger, I'd say. It's about time you had new curtains. What was wrong? I went to wash them and they thought I brought over what I had extra around home and put them up. All right. Did you get a new rug, too? Of course I didn't. I just turned it so the worn part would be under the furniture. Nothing of the sorts, don't be Jenkins. You hired me to keep house and that's just what I'm doing. And believe me, this house needed plenty of keeping. Don't be Jenkins. Clean your feet when you come up from the basement. The next thing in the basement. Land 6, why do you save all these empty cans and clutter up the kitchen? I need them to put worms in when I go fishing. Can't you wipe your hands on these old towels when you're rooting in the garden? Next thing you'll what? Do you have to leave your extra pair of store teeth and a glass on your dresser? Are you afraid I'll bite you? We're late. I'll catch it from the teacher. Where did you use to keep them? Hang it on the front door knob. Where? Here at the limit. What's that you've got under your coat? The Lost Metrolipole. Don't be hasty, old friend. I know it's a change, but you can make the adjustment, I'm sure. Is everything in it? Come on now. You have your evenings free since you don't have to clean house. I'm sure she's changed things and cleaned up, but that's what a good woman would do. She's done things you never had time to do, Stumpy. You can't fight fires and keep house and do both well. Maybe you're right. Maybe you're not. And I'm fed up. I'm gonna fire her. You aren't serious. I ain't laughing, am I? What's the matter with you? Are you sick? I'm aspirin or two. Don't dilly-dally know. Your toes will get cold and hot food ain't worth eating when it's cold. It's your supper. You talk sick now. Yeah, sure. I think I'll lay on the sofa for a shower. Just sit there for a minute and I'll get some blankets and a pillow. I don't need that stomach pump anymore, Bill. He's coming around. He must have poisoned himself accidentally. It looks that way, Maggie. It's a good thing you were here. Yeah, I took a strong dose of sleeping pills and painkillers. Well, I was right, youngster. This is Murphy and I've been here for a whole stumpy to die. The question is, what did you do? You almost killed yourself. I did what? Easy, easy now, stumpy. You just lay back and rest a while. Doc's right, old timer. Maggie saved your life. That's sick, Bill. Did you ever see such a collection of bottles? Why, there's enough here to start a drugstore. Too bad you didn't clean this out first, Maggie. I would have gotten to it directly. Is, uh, this the bottle you thought you had aspirin, old timer? Yep. Yeah, that's it. When I had the tablets, I had left over the time the buffalo banged me up. Much obliged to you for saving my life. Ah, sure, and I'm glad I was here to help. If you don't mind, I hope you'll keep house for me for a long time to come. Like Bill says, it's getting dangerous around here without a woman to look after things. Well, it was a hard, long battle, but Maggie won, didn't she? Well, that's the way it should be around Jenkins Manor. And, uh, we fellows will just have to admit that there's nothing like a woman's touch around the house. Well, see you next week for more adventure with...