 So, there's a group of people who are trying to start a straight pride parade in the city of Boston and whether or not it will actually take place is up in the air because I'm not sure if there's any issue with the permits from the city, I don't know, but the response to this is absolutely hilarious because it really goes to show you that when we talk about the oppression Olympics, conservatives are the snowflakes that they always speak out against. They're just as snowflakey as these SJWs that they so frequently denounce on college campuses. They're so quick to say, no, no, no, you're not the victim. Stop playing the victim and then they'll go on to play the victim themselves. It's absurd. So, Timmy Lauren of Fox News decided to talk about the straight pride parade. And I think like the impression that I got from her is that she thinks we care. I don't care. That being said, do I think that the idea of a straight pride parade is silly? Yes, because why is a straight pride parade needed? Why is that needed? Are straights under attack? Are their rights being threatened? Are there hate crimes against straight people? Do they feel the need to hide their identities in order to express themselves in a more socially acceptable manner? No. So, I mean, it's silly, but if you want to march, I don't give a shit. I literally could not care less. But Timmy thinks we care. Like, she literally thinks we care and that we're outraged. Nobody really cares. You're the one who's outraged. So, let's watch her take. She's going to make a really courageous declaration here. Let's watch. We can be proud of about everything these days, so long as it's not straight, white, male, or God forbid, conservative. But as it turns out, the city of Boston may not be so tolerant and accepting of a straight pride parade either. It's time for first thoughts. Yes, folks, it's Gay Pride Month, and let me be clear, I have no issue with LGBT people being proud of who they are. I could do without seeing men in speedos and buttless shafts parading through the streets, but whatever, you do you. Sadly, at least in Boston, straight people aren't allowed to parade their heterosexuality for all to see. The rumored straight pride parade may be over before it started. The group calls themselves Super Happy Fun America, and their mission is simple. Straight people will embrace our diverse history, culture, and identity in order to promote engagement with the community. Now, you wouldn't think that would be a problem, right? Wrong. Don't forget, it is open season on straight white men in this country, and y'all aren't allowed to celebrate your straightness. It's 2019. Don't you know that's been off limits for at least the last 10 years? But nevertheless, the Super Happy Fun America straight pride group was planning their parade for August 31st. They even had a route mapped out. Now, although the group touted they were working with Boston City officials to get their parade permit, city officials have said otherwise. Apparently, they have not been issued said permit, but the group is not going away quietly. Oh no. Last week on Facebook, the club's vice president announced the group has filed a discrimination complaint against the city. City officials weren't the only ones who didn't seem to enjoy the idea, and it didn't take long for Twitter social justice warriors to attack the parade. Isn't it funny how the so-called loving and tolerant leftists and members of the LGBT community demand respect for their events and celebrations, but are so quick to diminish, demonize, and mock groups they disagree with? Listen, this straight pride parade was probably intended to be a joke of sorts, but regardless, why is it so taboo nowadays to recognize or be proud of heterosexuality or traditional values in general? Can that not be a thing anymore? According to who? I'm sick of this. The very groups that preach tolerance, love, and acceptance are anything but loving, tolerant, and accepting. In this era of 64 gender options, female boy scouts, and pronoun enforcement, all things traditional or conservative are deemed hateful and deplorable. Enough. I'm not afraid to say I am straight and proud. There, deal with it. That must have been so hard to say. You are so brave, Timmy. Again. Great. If you're proud to be straight, that's awesome. Good for you. Now, I don't know what she said during that jump cut towards the end, but I mean, you get the gist of what she was trying to say. So let me just say this. I'm gonna try to put this as nicely as possible and try not to be a dick. You're being a gigantic fucking snowflake about this. You're being a gigantic snowflake about this. Because straight people are not under attack. The city isn't denying them a permit because they're anti-straight. Like, what? Like, I don't know what the city is denying them a permit. But I mean, this is just, this is such a dumb story and I don't get it. It's just another story where conservatives felt the need to talk about it because it allows them to present themselves as the victims when in actuality they're the oppressors. They're the ones in favor of taking away rights from gay people and transgender people, but yet it's us who's the victims. So she says, you can be proud of everything so long as it's not straight, white, male, or conservative. Really though? Because I don't think that that's the case. I don't see anyone straight bashing dudes. I've never seen that before. Has that ever happened? Have you seen a gay guy with a rainbow t-shirt on walk up to a straight couple and like hit them over the heads? Has that ever happened? So I mean, to suggest that you can't be proud to be straight is preposterous. That doesn't make any sense. She says, at least in Boston, straight people aren't allowed to parade their heterosexuality for all to see. You do that anyway. You do that anyway. For all this talk of a gay person or gay people in general, flaunting their sexuality, what is it when a straight couple posts a photograph of themselves kissing on Facebook? Is that not flaunting their sexuality? When straight couples hold hands in public, is that not them parading their heterosexuality around? See, it's a double standard. When gay people do it, they're flaunting their sexuality. However, when straight people do it, well, we live in a heteronormative society where straight is normal. So it's not flaunting, it's just the norm. Think of how purposefully obtuse she has to be being right now. I can't believe that she actually believes the bullshit she's saying. I mean, come on. She says, the very groups that preach tolerance, love, and acceptance are anything but loving, tolerant, and accepting. Again, cite an example, Tommy, of somebody saying, no, you're not allowed to have a straight pride parade. I mean, I think it's silly, but you can have it if you want to. Cited example, she hasn't cited a single example. She just said, oh, well, you know, the city might not give them the permit. So I mean, I thought you were against the oppression Olympics, Tommy. She also says, don't forget, it's open season on straight white men in this country, and y'all aren't allowed to celebrate your straightness. Yeah, you are. I mean, what a preposterous thing to say. You're suggesting that straight people are basically under attack all because what you want to be the victim? Like I just, this doesn't make sense. She also says in this era of 64 gender options, female boy scouts, and pronoun enforcement, all things conservative are deemed hateful and deplorable enough. She literally doesn't know what she's talking about. What is pronoun enforcement? Just somebody saying, hey, could you maybe call me by the pronouns that I prefer? That's pronoun enforcement, because there's no law that mandates pronoun enforcement. We're just trying to make that a social norm. So trans people feel more accepted so they don't feel like they're being misrepresented by their peers. Why is that so difficult? Why can't you just accept that somebody wants to use a particular set of pronouns and then shut the fuck up? Why do you have to be a snowflake about it and say, oh, you're using these pronouns that I don't like? Like you were born male, so I don't want to use female pronouns. Like you're being a snowflake, Tommy. You're being a fucking snowflake and you don't even realize it. She says, this is the era of 64 gender options, female boy scouts. Okay, well, cool. Then don't have a gender that's one of those options. This is such a non-issue. Like the way that people express themselves is what her contention is. You can't have 64 genders or this and that. These are all non-issues. She's trying to distract you from real issues by focusing on these wedge and social issues because she isn't bright enough to actually talk about policy substance. She's not. So what she does is she sticks to, you know, these same themes that conservatives always stick to. Oh, it's the white people who are being oppressed. It's the stray people who are now demonized. They're the new gay people. Listen, for every single SJW you find on a college campus, there's about a thousand more right wingers who are actively trying to oppress the rights of vulnerable people, including white people, economically disadvantaged people. It's Republicans who don't believe we should raise the minimum wage. It's Republicans that are taking away healthcare. It's Republicans that took away net neutrality. It's Republicans that are rolling back trans rights and LGBTQ rights. It's Republicans that are rolling back women's rights. It's Republicans. And the thing is that with what little gains vulnerable communities have made, well, that threatens their social hegemony. So when other people start to get rights, you feel as if you're being oppressed. So they really, really want to be oppressed. They want to participate in the victim Olympics that they often denounce. Why? Because they don't want you to be the victims. They want to be the victims. But in actuality, Republicans are the ones who are hurting people. Now Democrats are doing it too, but the extent that Republicans are doing it is far worse. So with that being said, I just, I can't watch this and not think, how do people take conservative commentators seriously? I mean, these are the things that they care about. They screech at the top of their lungs about abortion, literally never say a goddamn word about babies that are being murdered in Yemen with our weapons. Never say that. They screech about freedom of speech and how they're being oppressed and censored, never say anything about teachers, for example, that are fired because they refuse to sign an anti BDS pledge. These are the biggest snowflakes ever. I'm really glad that she popularized that term because it's very fitting for her ironically. This is snowflakery. It's just that she doesn't like left wing snowflakery. But when she does something that is obviously snowflakey, um, it's fine. Get the fuck out of here. You're a joke. Conservatives are so hacky. They're so hacky. It's just left, bad, right, good. And that's as complex as their analysis on anything is. You could support the humanist report at patreon.com slash humanist report. But trust me, I'd have way more supporters at Patreon if that was my podcast.