 Ah, welcome. We pierce the silence again and come together and see what the Spirit has for us today that we may go our way rejoicing, carefree, clueless of the world and without any need to figure out the world or figure out our pathway but merely content to practice the presence and be noticing and honest if there's something that seems to arise that blocks the presence from our awareness and the simplicity of that, how life truly guided life is meant to be simple and it's actually meant to get simpler and simpler and simpler until you can take no thought for what you wear what you eat, take no thought for where you go until you find that glorious Holy Spirit autopilot in your mind that's always been there that is always on Christ cruise control and all you've ever had to do is hit that button and in your mind and enjoy smell the roses, savor the days savor the moments there was a time in the monastery where the Spirit came through with three words I think of all of them, Lila always remembered this three words clueless, carefree and cared for and that's living a delightful life where you see that you don't have to direct the river, you don't have to tell the wind which way to blow, you don't have to even figure out what you're going to do with your life on earth you can just let it be shown, let it be given moment by moment and take some deep breaths and say wow that's a lot easier than the way I was trying to do it before putting so much effort into contriving and controlling and defending and preparing in the parable of David I seem to go through cub scouts and boy scouts and Armado was be prepared and so you know that could be helpful but you really have to look at what what is the preparation we were always prepared you know with our hikes and always have water and carry some tools, it was all survival of the body be prepared but actually if you really look at spiritually be prepared it's be in touch, be in tune stay connected, stay aligned, stay allowing stay allowing, stay allowing with everything in the manual for teachers of the Course in Miracles Jesus has the stages that you'll go through, he also lists the characteristics of a teacher of God and it starts with trust and he tells you the stages you'll go through but trust is the cornerstone, trust is the first attribute first characteristic and all the rest he said rest on trust so trust is very important, trust in the Holy Spirit but then if you go through all of the ten characteristics then he says perhaps the last one to come in into accomplishment or fruition is open-mindedness that's where this is all heading there's nothing greater than a tranquil open mind an open mind does not judge, it doesn't already think that it knows something it simply stays completely open completely present and therefore that's you might say the most delightful state of mind that you could ever experience and even when you're going through the other stages and you're developing those other characteristics you have a great appreciation for open-mindedness because it's free an open mind is free, an open mind doesn't have an agenda an open mind doesn't have preset conditions it's not already thinking it knows something it's completely in the unknowing about the world and it's made way for divine knowledge, for heaven, for pure spirit to be welcomed back into awareness because it doesn't try to tell spirit what it already is it's open to be shown to have it revealed and that's really what salvation is salvation is not knowing something about the world it's coming with empty arms with openness I do not know the thing I am, what I'm doing, where I'm going with myself, that's what salvation is where you've actually let go of all the definitions of time and space and the definitions of yourself and the definitions of God and you come without a definition that's what open-mindedness is, there's not the slightest attempt to define a meaning that really always made me laugh when I would talk to or have a discussion with a theologian for example and often times the theologian the first thing that the theologian would ask me is define God and I would laugh at that because I would think well that's for sure undefinable there has been never ever been a definition for God and even the Course it's just a word in the Course but it's like there are signs and symbols pointing towards an experience but it's not going to come through concepts and it's not going to definitely not come through words but the ego made words so we can use those words in practicing and that's what the Course is, it's a great tool for practicing using something that the ego made words are symbols of symbols twice removed from reality if that's the definition of the words then we don't have to try to find God in the words there have been prophets and sages most of the time when any of us listen to a Rumi poem or a song of Rumi's poetry pro song where our hearts start to dance and tickle because there's a presence behind those words Shakespeare's words there's a presence behind obviously the words of the Course with all of its Shakespearean blank verse and yet our focus cannot be on the words themselves when we try to cling to words or define ourselves by words or identify ourselves with certain words or ideologies or certain ideologies then we still are doing ourselves a disservice and we're really doing a disservice to God, the undefinable by clinging to something that God didn't even create so heaven is like a wordless communication of total communion and it's described in the Course as a song and it's described in the pamphlet song of prayer and it's also described in the Course as a forgotten song so not only is it heaven a song but it's forgotten, it's been pushed out of awareness and so awakening maybe described as remembering to laugh at the ego but it's also remembering to sing like the birds sing all day long they're so happy they sing sing sing and that song is like a song of remembering even in the story of the Siddhartha finally feels he must leave the palace the palace of comforts, the palace of conveniences the palace of a future where he's supposed to be the future king and all of the concepts the palace is a song it's a song, there's some kind of song that's drawing him to leave everything that he's familiar with to go outside the palace walls and to seek for enlightenment so that's something that I think during these days of silence we could say is it's getting in touch with your song, that's a movie too isn't that the penguin happy feats, remember he's got to find his heart song not like everyone else, no it's not like it's a dance instead of a song, he doesn't have a melodious voice at all so he's got to let his feet express his heart song and that's a beautiful metaphor too that you aren't even limited to the sounds you can still express your heart song in many many different ways whether you can sing, have a great voice or not so hopefully these days of silence have kind of set you on a direction where you've given yourself permission to move in a very lovely direction not really knowing specifically how that direction will unfold and that's beautiful too because you don't need to know I think that was the most fun I had was it was like when I just had that moment where I said Jesus take my mind, my heart, everything that I seem to know or have in this world and I give it all to you because you are in charge and you know the best way to use that kind of identity or ownership with anything anymore was like the weights came off the shoulders immediately and I think sometimes Christians call that like a conversion experience where they give their life over to Jesus Christ however they feel or experience that there's kind of a weight that lifts off the shoulders like okay I don't have to figure this out anymore even though all my conditioning is that plan for the future be wise be good in preparing for the future this presence is saying no just trust me and I will unfold everything perfectly for you without effort and that you can trust in it takes a bit of time it seems to relax into that and allow for that to happen but then the miracles start coming and they start showing you things are perfectly taken care of and you didn't do anything to make that happen you just said yes somewhere in your heart and you just desired it and everything trickles just like rain falling down just do Fred Astaire you sing in the rain and that and Gene Kelly yeah those two they really gave us a good pathway to God singing in the rain so there's nothing that really can be conveyed in words but hopefully you're starting to feel this glimmer of an inspiration like a lightness in your heart like oh yeah I can do this I got this there's nothing really to be so concerned about the strawberry fields forever song there's nothing to get huff about strawberry fields forever there is nothing to get huff about and that's quite delightful and you start to begin to let these old things like productivity most of us were driven by productivity even if there were expectations of pleasing our parents or pleasing siblings pleasing our spouses pleasing pleasing those around us sometimes people get into pet pleasing they so pull away from humans that they simply get a pet in their house and they become a lifelong pet pleaser they turn into a doorman door woman feed me open the doors we actually have a lot of that going on in campus we have a cat Monty that basically rules everyone accommodates but he has no expectations so we keep him because he's present he's always totally present we need the teacher you can't throw the teacher out of the house he'll come right back anyway there's a rabbit door he can't be he can't be excluded we were over there and I think Svava left the cat out was speaking was it Danish? Icelandic she was speaking Icelandic to Monty who he's good with all the languages he knows all the languages he seemed really fired up when she let him out and then we found out shortly after that he went out and he caught a bird and he came in and he was going to eat the bird alive in the house so he was very fired up and then we also heard the story of how Monty was in there and a friend of ours Charles who's over in Europe now had remarked that cat is really good for nothing and he looked over at Monty he said he's good for nothing he can't even kill a thing and then within 15 minutes Monty had gone out and brought a bird into the house and then he chewed up, decapitated and laid it as a gift almost like look what you say who you're dealing with here everything is just an opportunity for undoing they're very telepathic I'm good for nothing, well you can clean the bird up but those are how the lessons come in this statement we know something then the universe conspires to say no you actually don't you don't know anything and so don't even bother trying to tell the world what it should be because you don't know and you're never going to know and little by little it keeps reminding us over and over and over of that of productivity and it's also something we've talked about a lot I know Kirsten all of us have talked about this idea of responsibility because the ego will take the concept of responsibility and it will project it to the world you know how I said don't project the error to time the ego will take a concept like responsibility and it will project it to the world and there will always be guilt an idea or concept like responsibility and you project it it doesn't matter whether it's parental responsibilities or spouse responsibilities or citizenship responsibilities or anything in regards to being a human being anything in regards to a house, to a neighborhood, to a country even to health of the body the body is just a device that the Holy Spirit can use as a teaching device but it's not who we are and we're really not even to project health onto the body because it's a neutral device to the Holy Spirit no different than a leaf no different than a butterfly or a rock it's everything to the Holy Spirit is completely neutral and the only value and the only purpose anything has the purpose which you give it nothing has any value, nothing has any inherent value except the purpose that you give it that's lesson number two from a Course in Miracles workbook I have given everything I see all the meaning it has for me and the only way we can forgive and the only way we can we can let the Holy Spirit's meaning be written on everything is to withdraw the meanings the egoic meanings that we have projected onto everything and so that's why this is not really a Course in Learning it's a Course in Unlearning because it's a Course in Erasing everything, every speck of meaning that was given to the world and letting it become an empty slate the newsletter I ever put out was called Tabula Rasa and some of you know Tabula Rasa is a blank slate there's Jeffrey he's peeking in he's coming in now the blank slate is very important because the Holy Spirit cannot really give you the forgiven world unless you are willing to give the Holy Spirit the blank slate the Holy Spirit cannot write a new meaning on the world while an old meaning remains on the world while the past is stuck to the world in terms of associations then the new clean fresh pristine vision of Christ cannot appear and the happy dream and the healed perception of the Holy Spirit cannot even appear while there's an old meaning given to it so now you know why it takes trust because you really are having to accept you become as little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven really means accept you become as dependent as infants are onto their parents that dependent on the Holy Spirit for everything you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven the Holy Spirit is the gateway and the Holy Spirit isn't a specific path in form there are many paths in form so we're not even meant to judge the path it's very humbling too when you start to realize that free will does not mean you can establish the curriculum you can't establish the curriculum the curriculum is already set and that's forgiveness and then one more step that's at the beginning of the book in the introduction you know only the time you take it is voluntary and then that means more you desire the Holy Instant the more you draw the Holy Instant into your awareness but he does say in the manual for teachers that not only can't you determine the curriculum it's already preset but you can't even decide the form of the curriculum the curriculum is not yours to decide and neither is the form and so when people say I'm gonna do a composite thing I'm gonna take a little bit of this and a little bit of this and a little bit of that and build my own spirituality like it's a Lego game or something and you can just keep sticking a pin in here and building this no that's actually not how it works either because the one that's deciding and trying to play the pick and choose game is the one that's caught in the trap and the one that can't find the way out so what does Jesus say he says you cannot wake yourself you cannot wake yourself but you can allow yourself to be awakened you see the again the humbleness again I will step back and let him lead the way not because it's good or right but because it's the only way that will work it's the Holy Spirit is the only way that we're not talking about a specific tradition or culture or even specific words but we'll just use Holy Spirit for the moment but Holy Spirit is the pathway and that's why that inner guidance that you feel which is highly individualized is so important you have to come into a resonance with that inner guidance because that will set you free that will take you back to true freedom and there is no human aspect Jesus says you may even it may even be personally insulting to the ego to realize how little your contribution is to the truth and he's talking about in terms of the human the human construct the human mind that construct was made to defend against the truth of the Christ mind so that's why it's so little the contribution there and yet to accept your part in mind to accept the Atonement in mind is so essential that your part is absolutely essential but the whole plan depends on that it doesn't depend on the human construct but it depends on the mind recognizing its wholeness and the entire plan is anchored in that that it will not succeed in fact Jesus says it a lot of different ways but he says as long as the slave remains to walk the earth you will not be free you must set all the captives free like our the giver movie you know how in the end he took the little Gabriel and he kept going and going and going to cross the boundary and when he did it was like a ripple of light and he set all the captives free in the sense that he set their emotions loose on them I think we could probably do a sequel we're all right there at that point now we've all turned to living color and there's plenty of emotions coming up at the silent retreat and so we're at that point we're actually living the sequel now where that movie ends is where we begin really being authentic with our feelings not trying to hide them not trying to protect them not trying to distract away from them really welcoming them whatever they are saying oh this is this is part of my pathway to healing I'm not going to push this anger away I'm not going to push this resentment or this this envy or this jealousy I'm not going to push it away I'm not going to say that's bad oh of course students shouldn't have envy or anger Jesus never says you should not have anger he just says anger is never justified so he's actually saying welcome the emotions allow the emotions and when they come up don't get into ego justifications of why you're justified and righteous in having the emotions because their anger is never justified you will never find a reason a good reason to be angry in fact anger could not even occur unless you believe that you are mistreated by something not yourself if you are mistreated by something outside of you that's the condition for anger and Jesus knows that there is nothing out there forcing that anger so that's why he's saying just don't justify it that's when you pause and ask for help that's when you pause and say oh I'm never upset for the reason I think instead of going into a litany of reasons while you're justified in being angry he's saying don't do that pause and turn to the Holy Spirit turn to me and give me that anger I will take that anger from you if you offer it willingly but don't justify it don't start looking at your brothers and sisters or the world or the environment or something in time and space and start to justify it because all you're doing is you're going to put yourself in a loop and that loop is hell and he doesn't want us to stay in that loop of hell he wants us to wake up to the Kingdom of Heaven so really this is a very straight forward path and we've already discussed here that it doesn't seem easy at all but it is very direct and he does say at one point if you're not experiencing what this course is pointing you towards perhaps you have not done what the course asks so he's not just going to say you know I leave it all up to you he's saying I offer you my instruction I offer you my guidance I offer you my help and I implore you to join with me and share my mind not share my body all the stuff about taking the blood of Jesus drink the blood eat the host those are symbols and they're used to do this and remember to me then I'd say drink the grape juice and wine and eat the bread if you're going to remember Christ when you're drinking that wine or having that grape juice and bread that's good you think that this is a literal body that this bread is the body of Jesus Jesus has never wanted to share his body with us why would he want to because it's an illusion anyway why would Christ want to share illusions it was just there for a flicker anyway 2,000 years ago you can't share a body and his blood sharing blood even he simply knew that for generations to come people would be eating I hate to make it so simple but he knew that for centuries to come people would be eating and when they would sit down for however 2 or 3 meals a day he was saying do this and remember to me like when you're pausing during the day to relax stop your jobs stop your work you're enjoying breakfast or lunch break or tea or a dinner do this and remember to me he wasn't trying to set a ritual of control but the ones that drink the juice and eat the bread eat the wafers they go into heaven and the ones that don't drink the juice and don't eat the wafers though they burn in hell and he wasn't setting up a church that decided whether you could eat the wafers and drink the juice because that's the way the ego does its religion it's like here's my rules you play by my rules you get to eat the wafer you get to drink the juice and you get to be saved if you don't you know it's like he sees you when you're sleeping he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake for no wafer and no juice so that's pretty heavy I mean for those that were raised Catholic that's a pretty big deal your salvation depended on regularly juice and wafers you know you better be doing that on a regular basis because if you're not you're gonna burn in hell and you know that was some people laugh at this but very interesting but what we're saying is don't let your life be run by rituals if you do need structure then let the Holy Spirit give you the structure tell you when to begin and when to end because the Holy Spirit will not keep you in rituals the Holy Spirit would have you transcend rituals and become the living presence of Christ and be so in the moment so spontaneous that you cease to remember what a ritual is you cease to remember what to do you lose not only your short term memory but you lose your long term memory and you receive the memory of God and so that's in that sense dementia is reinterpreted some of us have had people that have had dementia and Alzheimer's and I've gone to nursing homes and visited some of the happiest most wonderful joyful people I've ever met in this life are the ones with dementia and Alzheimer's and the most freaky people are the relatives of people with dementia and Alzheimer's who come screaming running out tears streaming down they don't know who I am that's the terror of the ego thinking that who you are as a role as a person as a body is all important and when you're forgotten then that the love is gone it's actually the opposite when you forget about the people the places the things and you go into the Holy instant the people love and it's the memories that have been set up by the ego all these associations tangled mess really you know it's like Shakespeare said all the world's a stage and everyone must play their part and he also said it was much a do about nothing and that's what these past associations are they aren't love they're the cover over love and as soon as we recognize that we start to feel free like wow the love has always been there and I've just covered it over by these associations that I pretended was love and there's a lot of guilt around that because you have to maintain association when was the last time you visited your mother when was the last time you visited your father your grandmother your grandfather you know it's like this guilt is tied into doing and the ego set up the doing in the first place the ego invented the bodies the ego invented the world and the ego generated guilt and it maintains its guilt by shoulds ought to's half to's and you never can live up to its standards you'll never be a good enough mother a good enough father good enough brother sister a good enough human being a good enough citizen of planet earth so there always will be falling short on the standard because why because the ego set up the standard to be like a false carrot that you could never attain you could never reach that you could never even take a bite out of that carrot because it's always out of reach the ego always keeps pulling it higher and higher standard and even spiritual awakening it will turn into that carrot it will turn into another conquest workshops seminars retreats and some people have gone through starving the body and the aesthetics would harm the body at times and there was all kinds of things meant to reach God by denying or torturing the body and then there was a flip side of the nostics who basically said because the body's not real you can indulge in all of the pleasures of the world as much as you want because it's not real and that didn't get them anywhere near you so basically Buddha called it the middle way Jesus calls it the miracle the miracle is a state of mind that transcends the world and takes us home so this is like our Course in Miracles party and it is a joyful party and we are here to celebrate and we are here to rejoice and we are here to feel nurtured and supported and not see it as a dependency where we need something or someone informed but to feel that nurturing and support inside is radiating from the light that is within us and then we start to see the characters as reflecting that inner light reflecting it to us while we believe in bodies these reflections of light are very helpful while children believe in learning mentors are important while human beings believe in learning role models role models and mentors because they symbolize something that we value very deeply that's why we respect our mentors, our role models it also actually we can actually throw our resume out the window just recently this week I was contacted by a young woman who's had a horrendous life of being taken into sexual slave trading and a hitman and suicide attempt and a very short life but a very intense extreme, extreme life and yet she had this mystical experience that seemed that lasted 10 minutes but it went on for 6 hours with Jesus and suddenly that whole story that whole heavy laden guilty story just got lighter and lighter and lighter and out of that mystical experience with Jesus came this awareness like oh that's it I just want to live a life of service and devotion to Jesus a reverent devotional life of serving Jesus and hallelujah that the years before were rinsed by that experience Jesus can rinse away seemingly years of torment and torture bizarre things that had a lot of fear and everything and yeah so she just sent in her volunteer application or devotional stay application today and now it's attached with the video and I did watch the video and she was singing Mariah Carey's song at the end of it about miracles you can't have miracles if you believe the song is so beautiful I think it's a duet but she was singing that song first speaking it and then the end of the video by just singing and Haven had a great voice I mean if you're going to attempt the song Mariah Carey's song I thought oh she's confident she's recording a Mariah Carey song at the end of the video so it was good you know that's the thing it just it really comes down to the spark in your heart it really comes down to acknowledging that spark and to answering the call that is what takes you higher and higher and the ego will try to prevent that with all the kudawudah shudah and what about this issue and you've had this issue for 25 40 years or whatever don't think you can just walk right out of the cage you know so fast but you can walk right out of the cage as fast as you want because as I said before you have the key you hold the key to the lock and you can let yourself out at any given instant that's encouraging that's optimism that's not based on wishful thinking but it's based on God it's based on spirit based on strength you have the power to turn the key at any time you want that's truth speaking that's wisdom speaking that's not wishful thinking hopeful thinking that's truth and we're here to encourage and support that again not to set up dependencies not to set up more shudah natus you're actually allowing those shudah natus to be washed away when you feel strongly you're to take quiet time or to take a walk you know even with the tiniest little things those are little promptings little nudges in your heart that Jesus is practicing with your mind like follow those little promptings follow those little nudges as tiny as they are that's of course that's the way Jesus works he's not gonna try to give you something that's out of reach he's gonna give you what's completely within reach and then build on the success of how did that feel didn't that feel good yes it did okay that's how miracles went in my life I had to build confidence in it we know that with even a teacher with a child you have to win that confidence you have to win their trust you can't really be a successful teacher unless you you win the trust of those that you're teaching really and that's just a conversion for your own mind it's not like there really are people to teach but you're just allowing your own mind to be convinced your own light to be strengthened your own strength to emerge from your willingness to teach what you would learn little by little little increments at a time and that's very doable there's nothing daunting about little successes following upon little successes and little successes it's a beautiful way to go back to God it's a beautiful way to remember presence so I'm again I'm here to join with you and I'm open it up to anything anything at all that you want to share or anything that you feel is a question or curiosity something you want a little more clarity on or maybe you're grasping it just almost grasping it but you could use some examples or something to help turn the key click it through thank you one I've never been in such an incredible experience being here this monastery is love and feeling the sense of community I became aware just now when this gathering started of the extraordinary arrogance of my own ego and it's so in the presence of love and I have I had thought oh I so get it I'm reading go deeper have to go way deeper because in deeper it says when you understand the problem of constructs that's what I was reading about and I said I'm a construct everybody's a construct and your love and light itself and then when that song came on I was misreading everything and I felt really tense and doubting man oh my goodness love holds no grievances and I love you forgive me thank you so and I mean that for any projections I have put out there and my whole heart and soul yearns to let go of the things that I have done to myself because in doing it to myself then I'm projecting it out and I love you guys you're all amazing I was so scared when I heard that song and then I just had to listen and know that under the words is that I love that song sun dancer dance into the light I give my whole being to open up my sight and dance into the crowd and I surrender against his soul perhaps that's enough right now because boy it didn't feel very good I trust you I trust you like just a baby like an avatar you're such a baby you're doing things you don't know well I'm beginning to see spirits little messages and just absolutely everything I'm here to serve I'm here to serve and it's okay you know if I I'm a little slower on the uptake because the intellectual thing oh my the intellectual thing is seductive and it's something the words the continual associations linking and linking and the ego is terrified and it's vicious it's sticky so it makes it me longer yeah it's such it's so good to just you say let go because it's I remember one time I was on an early trip I think back in the I don't know maybe was like the late nineteen nineties maybe in the around the late nineteen nineties where I was taking a trip with down to Florida with Kathy Thompson she was later Kathy Thompson Kathy Martin when I know her and at the time in rest at Burnham and we hopped in the car down to Florida and everybody had okay you check this and somebody get their maps and somebody this and rest of us is signed she's the one who received all these two hundred and sixty two hundred and seventy songs from the angels so she was assigned music so she went on the internet before we left and she got a CD and she said I haven't listened to it but it won a Grammy award and it was a Christian CD and I was driving and when she put that on you know it was like four guys and they had great harmonies and everything but the lyrics were I'm a soldier in the army of the Lord I'm a soldier well I just burst into laughter and I said did you listen to this CD at all before she said it was a Grammy won a Grammy so Kathy and I we just burst into laughter we just played that we cranked it up I'm a soldier in the army of the Lord but see the old way was the Lord needs you to save souls the Lord needs you to save the loss nothing to do with like your own mind it was like going out and preach the gospel to the four corners of the world I'm like the world doesn't even have corners it's a round world who are these people who preach the gospel to the four corners of the world and convert and convince and and Kathy's father had gone as a missionary to Africa to convert the heathen but you know what with the Holy Spirit's help the heathen converted him he actually was there and he said though the heathen were actually adorable it was the missionaries that drove him so crazy that he got out of the missionary work and he came there and would say that at the peace house table like the heathen don't need converting they don't and so when you're saying I want to serve there just by the prayer of your heart saying I want to serve we'll start to stir up what will seem to be opportunities that will just start coming to you opportunities to help opportunities to link in and join in and help out in all kinds of ways that's what we've all gone through we just simply said yes to serve but we had no clue how that would look or the form that that would take but we were willing to let it take whatever form it needed to take for us to heal so it's not like you have to be slotted into the Lord's team or all this kind of stuff the opportunities will arise and you're glorious just by you saying I'm humble, I'm asking to be of service that's the prayer of your heart then just stay open stay open as these opportunities show up for us it's been I always like the part miracles are a collaborative venture I like that word collaborative I live on that I even have a folder in my yahoo inbox it's called collaborations I keep getting so many things now that are flooding at me and I'm so happy I can just slip them into collaborations because so many making a course of miracles movie with a woman who's a Hollywood movie maker and collaborations in terms of music in terms of art in terms of literature movie making there's so many things that come across my mind because I love collaborations I love collaborations I love collaborating with people people call to me, they write me I get messages in all kinds of different ways I'm like a tech mystic so now there's like all these 10-12 channels open and they come flooding in through Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and all kinds of YouTube and on and on and on emails, voicemails and it's fun because I enjoy collaborating I'm open to collaborations and I'm on the lookout and they come and it's so rich, it's so enjoyable it's like how can we both or how can we all come together in some way that we feel the joy so much that we lose track of time and space the days drift by the hours drift by very much like singing in a choir where you just get into the singing the jamming the joy and then you lose track of time and space so yeah, Diane I think that's like the joy of my heart is just seeing you coming open to that point where that's the prayer of your heart and then you just pay attention to what comes I've never been still this long in my whole entire life where I just sat and then had to just work through things with spirit that's I was thinking about, okay David goes to Beijing or wherever and they're not exactly receptive and you hold spirit holds that center with you and speaks through you from a place that is not that is free and clear and loving and I thought, okay, can you do that the answer is no not yet because I can, I still get thrown off center as long as I can I feel like I get isolated and I'm okay like the monk that can be enlightened in the cave and then goes down to the metropolis and then it's not so easy it's a recognition that holding listening to Holy Spirit and letting Jesus be the master I am astounded at how much that egoic connection wants to take over and so I have there okay, no more words but that holding center is important and I got the chip monks and there's like the school in another way of wanting so much for that to be inspired by the love and the beauty and the support that I have felt here and there's a lot there and it needs to go way, way, way deeper and I'd like that to be the chip monk monastery or chip monk academy I will be one of the chip monks for sure a little oversized but I'm sure that that's a great part of the course which Jesus says you can join with anything in this universe, a sight, a sound a memory, an object I've had so many wonderful witnesses of that and and even when somebody tells you they dislike something or they're actually apologizing I remember you mentioned Beijing the first time I went to Beijing they picked me up in the car and they're taking me down to downtown Beijing and then the people that had picked me up they started apologizing just as we began driving they were apologizing for the smog and the pollution you know they were just saying we're so sorry that our skies are so gray and I said oh they're beautiful beautiful gray skies and loving your gray skies and you see the very thing when people start to point something out that they're apologizing for is if like is if they wish it could be better I'm joining with gray skies I enjoy gray skies actually and people say what, not pollution now I actually join with pollution I join with everything in my mind because it's all unified unified awareness and what is projection but the attempt to get rid of something that you don't want but if you become all inclusive in you are wanting God or wanting peace then you will have an experience that there's nothing outside and therefore there's nothing to judge against pollution and this people in different countries they say oh we're sorry that this is so small or this is this way and this way but all it is is opportunities to join in it when I first went to Argentina I I stayed, I talked about Jesus being coming to a manger I and had three friends traveling with me we were offered the garage the top part of a garage so we weren't in there in the afternoons because it got to be over 45 degrees centigrade well over 100 degrees in the top of this thing in the fumes gasoline fumes and it was like set for an explosion or something it was summertime in Argentina and we were put in the top part of a garage and there was cars lawn mowers and things underneath and and I was having such a ball I loved it it was my first trip to Argentina so I was loving all the people I was loving the fumes I was loving the heat and loving sweating I remember we were in a taxi cab ride one day I took like 40-50 taxi rides around this massive city of over 15 million people and one time I was in the taxi but I'm thinking here I am serving God in Argentina I was so heavy and the windows were rolled down because there's no air conditioning and one of these big buses some of the buses have the exhaust that goes out of the top and some of them have the big side panel where the black suit I was so happy this bus pulled up and we were sitting there and I was looking and smiling looking out of the window and the bus cranked it up it was just black soot and my teeth were showing I was so happy to be in Argentina serving Jesus doing like two consecutive weeks almost like a course of miracles revival every day I'd do one or two gatherings two or three and when the soot was coming in on the face and I just was like I was feeling the heat of the soot on my face and I'm going God I love this because because it's the purpose that is where the joy comes or the time we went to Colombia and first I wanted to have some lunch and we went and got our lunch and I said let's go outside it was a street corner in no this was when we were just going to go sit out and you first arrived yeah and I just was so happy to be in Colombia serving Jesus that I thought to me it was like a picnic and she was like this wasn't Wanaka this definitely there was nothing green and the decibel level in downtown there was horns honking and all kinds of sounds and everything and I'm having my meal on the street corner savoring and loving all of it because I was serving God and it's fun for me to go into a country Colombia I don't speak the language Argentina I don't speak the language the smiles, the hugs the laughter, the ability to let the joy just rip through the glee to rip through that was what was exciting and joyful for me and for me it just was like in Argentina it was day after day after day gatherings after gatherings people were with me Carrie said she wanted to go to dances of universal peace I said that's great go you don't have to stay with me I'm having so much fun here I'll do fine and one time we were doing a gathering the people were saying Carrie's way back there they saw her in a hammock I said yeah she's just resting it was for her she was seeing it and we needed more time to be away but it's really all a state of mind it's just all a state of mind and the things that the ego does is it tries to it first judges and then it projects what it has already judged against pollution is entirely neutral I don't I there's nothing good or bad about pollution but it's when you take that concept and you judge against it you know it's the opposite of clean polluted and then you project it out and you find evidence false evidence appearing real you see that's how it works you first have to judge against something in your own mind for the anger for the irritation and annoyance to occur then you see a witness for what you already judged against you already decided I don't like this and then it appears on the screen that's how it works so it's very simple the forgiveness has to come back to the mind where you start to come deeper to that point of I do not know who am I to judge who am I to judge anything God didn't create me to be a judge and when you get back to that who am I to judge it takes you to that I amness which is prior to judgment, prior to the world that's where your strength is that's where your invulnerability is is back in that beingness back in that I amness and Jesus says without judgment all things are equally acceptable isn't that a beautiful line without judgment all things are equally acceptable that's what he taught us in the Sermon on the Mount judge not lest you be judged if you judge with your mind you experience the immediate effect of that judgment I did, and it wasn't okay at all thank you yeah, that's it I did, yeah you don't have to do that anymore oh, I'm so glad oh my gosh remember the song I bought a ticket to the where, her, her own but now I've come back again why do I find it hard to write the next line oh, I want the truth to be said you see when you buy a ticket to the world hmm what do you think you're gonna get you know, God didn't create it you know, God didn't create it you know, God didn't create it Jesus has transcended it so if you buy a ticket to the world you know what you're in for but now I've come back again where, back to I amness why do I find it hard to write the next line there isn't one, there isn't a next line that's why it's hard to write the next line enough said, I am enough Jesus says we say God is and we cease to speak it's in the workbook isn't that beautiful two words, God is okay enough said just forget about it yeah, just forget about it just forget about it yeah, this has been a is it on? this has been a great opportunity for me to really watch my mind and see everything that you just explained how apparent it is that it's all projected everything that I want to put out like there's a few themes in my life that one of them has been that people don't like me and that you know and in relationships with men it's always been there's always someone else you know, I'm the one that gets passed over and I found myself in this environment letting those themes come up but immediately correcting them because now I know the truth that there's nothing out there so all of these projections just need to be healed in my mind and then I walk free and what a great environment to be able to really see that there isn't anything positive in the world and it's just it's a gift and then you know I was playing on Facebook last night I figured you guys were monitoring my Facebook too I was like oh you did it she was monitoring you know she told me to go off my Facebook but I was right that was valid guilt right there but and I was there was a guy and there was just ranting about he lived in Sedona and he was ranting about these spiritual people that appear to be spiritual and they're really not spiritual and they show up they're showing up everywhere this rant went on for 10 or 11 paragraphs and I thought boy this guy is really struggling with his own you know his own stuff and then you start to really be aware that it's all our inner struggle it really has nothing to do with anybody else and I like what you shared about that you explained really clearly that if we're angry then we're going to find a place to place it that it's within us and we're going to project it out onto wherever we need to project it so we don't have to go to work and let the anger and the darkness come up in us that we can then have the healing if I project it out on you then I never have to do the work of course I'll be miserable the rest of my life so it's just coming together and I really see that this is just a beautiful opportunity to let it all go all concepts of who did what where and just go back to the truth which is I'm innocent and so is everyone else and there is no one else it's just the one mind so it's been very good to practice here thanks your smile says it all your smile says it all this is a retreat I've been around community but not quite in this well anyway it doesn't matter the form but there's a lot of people here I was really especially I really think I stayed pretty open-minded though it was great to travel here with Calico that was a great way to kind of come in for both of us or I don't know I won't speak for her but the thing I wanted to come in that I thought was really fantastic I've shared kind of small spaces with women before at another gathering or a thing I was at but wow I was amazed with one bathroom with 20 women on the same floor I had to wait maybe once or twice wait I mean the bathroom wasn't open and there was such a beautiful flow of everyone just there was a lot of cooperation with the lights and I could feel myself wanting to manage the fan a bit I had to switch right under my block there so I could flip it on I was going I was pretty and I just I think I'm going to kind of miss that all the the pattern waking up and all the bag stuff zippers with getting your vitamins or getting your this or that and sorting things out and seeing feet hanging out from the bunks with the curtains closed I just it was a really great environment to feel that that oneness with these lovely folks so thank you beautiful yeah I don't ever treat you notice all the sounds so this is kind of going back to how your thoughts are really manifesting right so a couple days ago I was going for a walk and I bent down to really look at a rock and I noticed I had a sore back so I came back and I was kind of all tensed up and was all in pain and probably just before one of the evening sessions thankfully I was reading Kirsten's book where she talks a bit about pain and how that been projected forward so then I thought then I kind of well where in my day did I do that so I done Tai Chi in the morning so I thought oh was I competitive in the Tai Chi you know and then I thought well had I projected pain on people that I'd seen here but then finally it came to mind in my life I'm a physical therapist and I work with seniors you know and I'd had a thought probably about two minutes before my little back experience that about being with people being you know and immediate manifestation of it it was oh it was unbelievable actually and then because once I recognized it right oh you know it's it's just the projection that's all it is you know it's all it is and so yeah by the next morning I could go along my merry way but it was it was so it was you know just the miracle to be able to read those words that you've written you know that kind of led me to kind of going back because I was lucky because I came to the course of miracles through Gary so I started practicing forgiveness immediately and it was very I was so encouraged to always keep on because it always brought me back to peace of mind and that's what I wanted I was after peace of mind and I don't know just that whole thing you know and oh I know I can say that as I got really practicing that I had to come closer and closer to exactly what it was that I'd misperceived you know I think initially you know Jesus kind of let me generalize but then over time I had to come back closer and closer and immediately identify it and so then once that was identified then oh okay that's what it is I release this and just done so it was just lovely it's just a beautiful experience David I'm curious to know how you would how you would respond to this I'm a chaplain and I have these moments now and then at the hospital when it seems like I see people with hollow eyes dead men walking so to speak and so I'm clearly hearing that could be projection but I'm also wondering is it possible in spirit to see things to see you know the same thing that I'm dealing with others are dealing with you know the idea of separation yeah I think for me when I had those kind of questions early on because I worked in hospice and done a number of things similar kind of things were done counseling and people would come in to see me and similar kind of experiences and everything I saw that there was there was no like specific way with those kind of specific perceptions it came back to something much greater and much deeper and what I came to see that greater deeper thing was Jesus saying um he told me miracles cannot be performed indiscriminately so I was like okay that's what does that mean what is what do you mean it cannot be performed indiscriminately he said well I since I accepted the atonement I'm the one who inspires the miracles and he said I have to direct you in bestowing and extending these miracles in other words you need to become under my direction and my control to be a good miracle worker you can't perform them indiscriminately a lot of times of course in this world we have jobs we have things we wear the role of a chaplain or a counselor or whatever and next client, next person and so on and so forth and it can seem pretty structured and everything he said well ultimately that's why I'm freeing you and loosening your mind from the concepts and roles of the world because you could be so much more helpful if you allow me to loosen your identity from these things because I want to perform miracles through you and I will direct you very specifically uh you know what would you have me do where would you have me go what would you have me say and to whom he loves that prayer when the mind so open to being guided and directed how did that play out for me early on was with certain with jobs or even with my biological family you know sometimes you get so into the joy of the miracle that you just want to tell somebody and I kept telling my mother over and over and over and over and over and over and at one point I could tell Jesus was getting my attention when she said to me I don't need a minister I have a minister and I was like okay and then and then it came through a couple different other times from her and I remember praying and going to Jesus and again he said he said let me determine where you share your miracles he said they cannot be performed indiscriminately just because you have some past associations there and you think you know who needs to hear what or whatever that's interfering you know I will guide you where to go so I suddenly saw oh that's the arrogance of the ego it's like now it's taken to even this miracle working stuff and it's got its own agenda its own ideas and and he said well if you if you try to do it that way indiscriminately you will not insistently inspire joy you're going to get reflections back of I don't need a minister you know you're going to get mixed messages back and he said it's not nothing's going wrong except you're not joining with me and asking for my help that's where the issues coming in so the more I was a counselor I worked as a case manager I did training and volunteering to train and to work on a hospice ward I did a number of different things and all those things were just opportunities for me to practice the course workbook lesson I will step back and let him lead the way that's what all that was about not like these clients needed special healing he always says healer heal like doctor healer healer healer heal and so it was always about tuning in tuning in and then I started to begin to relax into that where I would just come together with someone and I would feel all this joy in my heart and then I could relax and let Jesus put the words in my mouth if there was even anything to say sometimes he would just have a beautiful gaze or a big hug or a big smile sometimes there was no words at all and I would just enjoy what a beautiful encounter that was and then again another one another one so that's why it's a much broader thing than we think because we like to think in terms of specifics like how can I be the best chaplain I can be and if I encounter people with hollow eyes is there something I can say or do is there a prayer is there a technique or something but for me it was always a much broader thing where Jesus was saying just let me be in charge of your miracles and it helped it helped in so many ways because I didn't I didn't I wasn't trying to force anything I mean I remember there was a time where back in the early edition of the course I think it's changed now in the third edition and beyond but it was on page 24 a prayer now it's on I think the later editions it's on page 28 but it's that prayer I am here to be truly helpful I am here to represent him who sent me I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do for he who sent me will direct me I am content to be wherever he wishes knowing he goes there with me and I will be healed as I let him teach me to heal well that was such a good prayer and it was like an italics and it was right to be in the book and I said gosh that's good and he said well good now I want you to practice with that every time you walk through a doorway any kind of a doorway if you're going to the laundry mat to the grocery store to a course in miracles meeting to visit your grandmother I don't care he said every time you pass your body through a door you pause right there before you go through the doorway and you silently pray that prayer to orient your mind and to me because when you go to that grocery store you're not going there to buy groceries really they'll get bought but you know he said David you go in there and you're reading ingredients and looking at lines and trying to go down aisles where there's not a lot of congestion and you get there and then you've got 14 items like throwing them on the counter to get to the 12 you know all kinds of you know he was like you've got major agendas going there in the grocery store but pray the prayer I'm here only to be truly helpful and like let me do the shopping through you relax look at people in the aisles look at people when you get to the checkout line join with them as I do through you you know smile you know I had oh I spent much more time when Jesus does the grocery shopping it's going to be a long time I'm not going to get in and out of there and thanks for the right ingredients he doesn't even look at the ingredients he cares less about the ingredients because he doesn't believe in causation high cholesterol low cholesterol high polyunsaturated fast low you know he's he could care less right high fruit toast sugar no sugar stevia regular organic yeah he doesn't care doesn't care at all he's interested in the joy the joy factor he's interested in sharing love he's going shopping to share a boatload full of joy and love and it's like so you see how that's turning everything like 60 you know go to the laundry mat you're there to have holy encounters instead of the clothes still get washed and dried the food still gets purchased but the shift of focus is so strong and really what I found was he was working with I will direct you with your miracle capacity here you're here to perform miracles I will do it through you but you need to keep turning to me don't think you know you know and Jesus if you go through all of his notes because Helen took down lots of notes he even talked about what we would consider famous people for example he always calls them by their last name Casey so he's going to talk about Casey now Edgar Casey famous psychic and who did many treatments many readings for many people for decades and everything and it was quite an amazing career that Edgar Casey has in fact his son Julian Casey got a copy of the course was given a copy of the course by Helen and Bill and basically Jesus said Casey could have had a greater contribution meaning contribution to the planetary awakening if he had asked me which miracles he was to perform and there I said there it is again now he's taken Edgar Casey's whole life he said you could have been better it's good could have been better if he would have asked me which miracles to perform now why why ask Jesus which miracles to perform well he's completed his part perfectly so you talk about a bird's eye view he knows he's with the Holy Spirit so he knows in every circumstance what the most helpful thing to do or not to do to say or not to say he's in the perfect position to lead the atonement because he's completed his part he's in touch with the father he's in touch with the Holy Spirit he's really synonymous we could say with the Holy Spirit you could just use those two words now synonymously Jesus Holy Spirit even though they seem to be different aspects of the trinity they're actually synonymous and that's the force that would make sense why to ask which miracles to perform so to me that's why it's so important to go so deep with this journey because there's a lot of great teachers Byron Casey turning around turning around they're just asking you to turn it around and take responsibility for your state of mind and not project it out onto people place the things there's many many great teachers and in the end you want to just be of service and tune into that presence you can call it Jesus you could really call anything that you feel comfortable calling it but with that presence of love and let love direct the way because it shortens time it brings about more of a consistent experience of that peace and joy so that's where that's what I got when I was talking to Evelyn my mother and talking to different friends and everything and I was getting mixed responses I turned to Jesus and I said what's going on here I'm so enthusiastic he said yes you are and you need to be under my direction if you want to have a consistent experience I just noticed that having that experience generally I do hospital and hospice but in the hospital that experience is not bedside bedside my more invested in my role and as I've been continuing to do my own work and you know recognizing that my call or my alignment with God is more than my being called a chaplain you know getting alignment with that walking the halls that I have these experiences overwhelming sense of compassion and desire to connect and one of the things sounds so simple but just let your smile be the light of love in the halls you know people see a chaplain around your neck but who cares you know what are you sending out as you're walking the halls and it's interesting because there's kind of a preforma expectation when you're walking the wards oh the chaplain's here pray with me, read scripture hold space for me but it's been a different encounter when I'm just walking the floors it's like I'm getting eyes to see and then kind of being directed or guided just to be salt and light to be grace in their midst anyway so I'm just trying to balance where is that potential projection my own guilt and I'm seeing it in them instead of acknowledging it in myself there's a little crack here God's allowing me to see something that everybody's drank the Kool-Aid so to speak and be light so they know there's something other than that Kool-Aid yeah it has been helpful for me in recent years because I got more into quantum quantum physics that everything is consciousness and that there's no there's no subject and object and no observer different from the observed and all that kind of stuff the more I got into that I just thought wee wow that means my joy is the whole universe's joy and to really go into that just to get into that gleeful joyful place when I would have encounters coming or have something an intake or a session or to give a talk in a big conference or whatever just kind of close my eyes and go into that that warm feeling that that glee that joy and it's like ooh yeah yeah wee wee wee ooh I like this and then I pretty much forget about whatever have to walk in front of 500 people it didn't even feel it felt like the quantum moment like the whole cosmos was my mind and the simplicity and the happiness of that and then there's no complexity with that you know I wasn't interested in who was listening and who had the ears to hear and who didn't and all those things I'm going to have some glee here I'm not interested in that and the spirit is always appropriate in situations if there's a smile or whatever I tend to smile a lot I have different hand gestures and movements I was just out in Topanga Canyon and they had all these different they were like this and then they were giving me the things that I do they were saying this is to help my spirit really? even Kers was like really? he was like what is that? they said it's a hofnice to move when I was a kid when I was a kid and when I was a teenager I used to get so excited about things that my fingers would just go up in the air and I'd be and then my dad would come in and go whoo and I'd be like it's involuntary I was with the young hippies out there and they were telling me all my mannerisms and moves and I don't know whether they watched videos or when they picked these up they had four distinct moves or something what is this like cheerleading or something it's mystery I'm unaware I'm very unaware but we have fun there's glee, there's fun and there's joy too and miracles are involuntary they should not be under conscious control so we want to get into that state of mind that's joyful, happy and then it's like St. Augustine said love and do what you will the doing component should be under Christ's control it shouldn't be that we think things and then we control the behavior as if we have to be appropriate who's the one that's deciding what's appropriate when we're in glee and joy really in the spirit then it all comes out in the most glorious way and so that's a practice that's definitely a practice what was coming to my mind too it's either love or a call for love and that's what I've always used for my own answer to that question am I in that glee in which case that love is just naturally going to show the way or am I really feeling when I turn in that I actually believe that there is a real problem and someone is in pain or is in suffering and I want to help her fix them in which case it's a call for love but that still doesn't give you the practical answer of what to do exactly if that it's just if I see that and witness that and I feel it then all I know is it's my call for love in the moment if I'm perceiving someone else in need of help I'm in need of help which just is a prompt to align my mind and turn to the spirit and ask so that I can come back into that experience of what would you have me to what would you have me say if anything and in that if anything there's the release from feeling to find the saviour so it's then by asking for that that's the healing in your own person and then if there's more to do spirit guides or not it's just your own feeling yeah yeah yeah it's real giving over of the responsibility because sometimes there may be like an intense call for love and your first response is perceiving suffering feeling it because you still believe in it but you just don't want to come from that place you want to come from the healed healer not the unhealed healer but it's giving yourself but in that moment you may still be called to take some action but you in that moment can't really truly be a clear channel so it's giving your opportunity for the correction accepting the correction taking that moment to be with the spirit and then being guided so different you're not personally feeling that responsibility and therefore the witness could come back either any which way with the spirit and then you trust you can really trust that's when those sections in the manual come in has healing been accepted or should healing be repeated well that's not your responsibility at all you've done your part and then you're just there to offer what's given you to offer it's beautiful there's a part in the workbook that says that the messenger must first receive the message for himself before the message is extended and I always thought that yeah with these like like couriers you know that have to on motorcycles whether it's pizza delivery or the delivering a package or DHL or whatever couriers have to receive the pizza or the package first it'd be ridiculous to go out on your motorcycle your motorcycle you go there and you find the right address and it's like oh I forgot I forgot the pizza you're delivering a package and you get there and they sign right here and you sign and you don't have a package so Jesus is like saying the same thing for us we have to receive the message we have to receive the message we have to receive the miracle we have to receive the gift first to extend it and he goes on further to say that that it is for the messenger you know so basically we're all like conduits and we're opening up to be channels and instruments and we must first receive it for ourselves we can't play this smarter game we can't play this oh sacrificial I'll do this for you and I'll I'll do time and my energy because that's just a guilt game that's just got guilt all over it so to me that was very very important because like Kirsten's saying there are times when there will be an action component to say or do something and there are times when it isn't and you were quoting from that part of the manual for teachers should healing be repeated and basically it's like if you believe that healing needs to be repeated then you need to go back to get your gift because you're looking out at symptoms or hollow eyes or whatever you're looking at and you're judging something and your perception is distorted and he's like saying come back drink of the well, drink of me and you will never thirst again drink of me and you will never misperceive and he's like saying stay with me and that's what is so great about the course for me it's been a path of stay with me come back, stay with me, stay with me takes a lot of care and attention to move through a day and stay with the Lord when there's so many temptations to be pulled out into something in the world when he's just saying it's simple, come stay just like, come back, stay stay I love that I heard that so much in meditation I would be sitting me cross-legged and I'd have a vision of Jesus sitting right in front of me cross-legged I mean I would just in my mind say I'd see myself just go to leave I'd be like stay stay stay with me, stay with me and for so many of us it's not just a lifelong pattern but it's so strong we're so good at leaving we can leave we walked out and walked out and walked out and walked out and now Jesus has said there's another doorway for you enough going out through that doorway out into the world there's nothing out there you've done that there's another doorway and I want you to keep coming back and through it and stay here with me stay there's two hi David my question is very similar to his kind of since I'm a little girl I've been always asking myself why I can hear or see God while other people can't and I have been experiencing many of my infestations directly through God and many people said like oh I know God through church or I know God through somebody who introduced me to this or that but nobody introduced me to nothing and I wasn't even seeking for it and it's something very strong that keeps searching me and I feel weird like my family don't believe me and sometimes I'm afraid it reminds me of something that Jesus said in the Bible to Thomas because Thomas was known as doubting Thomas and he said blessed are those who have seen and believed far greater blessed are those who have not seen and who have believed so the spirit will work with perception and will use aspects of perception that will work for you that are you might say individually designed for you and I will meet people along the way that have had extra projections out-of-body experiences manifestations different people appear to them like the movie Sixth Sense so I see dead people there or people that I see who see people that appear to them apparitions, ghosts and there are other people that would be scared out of their shoes if Mother Mary showed up at the bottom of their bed they would just jump like four feet out of bed if they saw it so basically the spirit has a very individualized curriculum and will use the things that will work with you because of what you are willing to allow and accept in your mind for some people they have what is called near-death experiences I call them near-life experiences because they go to the light but some of the people will have that or even a number of times and that's their introduction into spirituality is seeming the body is heart-stopping for a period of time but basically all of these things if you look at more of like a holographic universe or more from a quantum perspective is that you will never be given more than you can handle and the strain and the stress comes in with the comparison when you begin to compare your experiences with somebody else's or you start to have a lot of doubt thoughts it's like you're having some very very profound experiences and then the family members or people start showing up like what are you on about like speak English or speak to us in what we can understand but the comparison aspect Jesus says comparison must be an ego device for love makes them and that's one of those things that really is a lot of practice when you start to say I have to be comfortable enough with the pathway and the signs and symbols that are being presented to me also the prayer of the heart can be like like please give me signs and symbols that I'm not alone or that I'm for I'm watched over and a lot of times those kind of symbols can appear they don't have to be earthly symbols but they can be more angelic kind of symbols and come in that way I know I've given so many talks and I talk about such a wide range of experiences that people do tell me oh I'm glad you talked about that because I I didn't want to share it with anybody else for fear of being strange or being rejected or whatever with near-death conferences people have that experience where they go there and they go oh my god I was so glad to talk to a whole conference of people who have had near-death experiences because I can't share it with my family I can't share it with my husband my wife and then I can talk to these people there's a synergy that happens in 12-step groups when people go there and people are all working the steps and going through these experiences and they feel so much like it's not their own unique individual problem that just the synergy of the spirit using that group starts to wash away this idea like oh I'm the black sheep I'm the totally the black sheep and nobody else can relate to me because they hear the same words coming out of all these different bodies and they go wow I am not alone at all I feel great so the spirit can can use those things where you're taken to a different to a group of people or to meet somebody or whatever that are just symbols of I'm not alone in this because that's probably the hardest thing to go forward where there's a feeling of like I'm all on my own and I'm totally isolated I don't feel alone I think I feel like why they cannot feel or see the same things because I pray for something and he's like it's done it comes to me and people ask me how could you do it I don't know and anything manifestations anything and I feel like kind of bad for them like I don't know yeah I think if you come back to that it's your attitude that's the gift and all of these things signs and symbols are just the symbols and manifestations of that attitude then it comes simpler when you come back to that it's your attitude that's the gift because when when people are talking like they don't have a connection with God or they don't know the answers or that they feel lost or whatever those are just again opportunities to let the spirit come through you in the most helpful way so it's just a series of opportunities one to the next after the next but the ego sits back and it's going what is wrong with this picture like why don't they do this and can't they see this you know it's making it very personal it's always trying to make it very personal and in truth these are very impersonal miracles you know they're just coming through and coming through I used to think I have superpowers I used to think like it's me but I remember doing something I showed the person I told somebody here and once I showed the person my superpower it disappeared I never had it again so God taught me like it's not you it's not yours it's given by me so anytime that you perform something it's through the Holy Spirit it's not you it's not your body yeah it's a beautiful lesson I was out traveling one day and my cell phone rang and my friend Lisa who's Lisa was down in Mexico she called me up on my cell phone and she didn't even say hi or hello or anything like this I answered the phone it was one of those flip phones I answered it I go hello I want joy not hi this is David hello I want joy okay I can join you in that so then I said then she realized in a couple weeks I was going to be coming to where she lived like really close to where she lived and so she's like oh my God I can't believe it you're coming to where near to where I live in Harrison Pennsylvania and she was excited I said great I said yeah I'm doing a workshop at a miracle sangha place it's kind of a course in miracles this combination thing and this and this I said I can get there day early we can have dinner I don't think so buddy she said she wanted joy to me it's like I'm not thinking like go out on a date or something like she said I want joy so anyway alright I'll see you at the sangha but when I go there I go to the sangha and I can tell it's her she comes in and she's got two girlfriends and she's just they're all wrapped up in blankets and they're all shivering and happy and everything and then finally at the end she comes around and she wanted to hug me but she was so happy she was like a Mexican jumping she was up and down like this how do you hug somebody except I started to hop up and down too that's the only way I could hug her you can't hug somebody that's off the ground so I did that and then she invited me to her house and I said okay and she's like okay what's your favorite meal I said what's your favorite meal you cooked me your favorite meal and so she said ooh prime rib and mashed potatoes it's gone on and on from there but basically when I went there the first time I spent some time with her she was so into manifesting you talked about the secret that's nothing she was like she was manifesting she manifested her own business she was the CEO of a company manifesting fixing up her house she had a room of her house that she called the godroom and every day she would be in meditation and she would think of something and she would god in her day and she would manifest it she loaded this room up with all kinds statues that could have been some over in the Vatican or something and she was just loaded with god and statues and all it was called godroom and she was so confident with this manifesting thing that her and her friend Bonnie finally I sat down with them and they were like we got the power you've probably seen Bruce Almighty they were these two ladies we got the power and I said what do you mean we can manifest anything we're in god power and the more I listened to them they said we believe we are chosen they were the chosen two women I said to what what are you chosen for well god's given us the power we've been chosen to bring the kingdom of heaven to earth I said no I said no no don't you study the course well Lisa studied the course they said don't you know the part about bringing the illusions to the truth can't bring the truth to the illusion but they had convinced themselves that they were so powerful they would bring the kingdom of heaven on to earth those two specifically and so I was like no so then I was like as soon as I was with them longer and longer then it was like it wasn't the same going out and manifesting statues and I said no there's a lot of forgiveness to do here and you have to really clear the mind away if you want the kingdom of heaven you have to open up to it you're not bringing it down here on to earth we have to go the other way and that's been beautiful because then she did hear that she'd be a healer and she has had lots of healing experiences I think one time I wasn't there in Mexico but a woman whose husband had studied the course for some time basically committed suicide by leaping off a tower where they lived and the wife and the children showed up I wasn't there I was out somewhere else in Mexico at that time or in Chapala but basically she welcomed a man and the children came and they settled the floor and the wife came and the wife just was stricken with grief and why did this happen and he studied the course but it was so much healing power and I saw that too when we were in China that time where there was a woman that was just screaming and screaming and Lisa just was able to look into her eyes and all this energy and love and light and calming basically destined to be a healer she was in nursing that's what she had been but the spirit had always had higher calls for us to go into the depth of our the height and the depth of our our powers as miracle workers but it's not personal it's not personal in any way so that's good it's great that you can come and express that because already it starts to loosen a little bit like oh okay I don't have to make a big deal about that I just have about ten minutes so this will be the last question I am really appreciating coming here because I've been undoing a lot here in this atmosphere I could feel the oneness that we are that I felt even when I was in my home that's not on the east coast but it's such a big blessing for me to realize that I was feeling that even there and when I come here and I still feel it and then especially when I could feel I could feel the experience of the love that's overwhelming and really great for me I get to join in with the love that is and I like it a lot and then I could feel with Kirsten we went on that walk yesterday it's been so helpful explaining the little fuzzy things I wasn't quite understanding but we were walking down the road and my ankle felt a little stiff and I thought with Jesus I said I don't even have an ankle so how can an ankle hurt and I trust and then the ankle didn't hurt and I just laughed with it I laughed with the absurdity that I could even have an ankle and it went right away and then we're going on this walk and Kirsten and Kirsten told me always keep the presence the presence, the presence, the holiness and David was saying in front of you because I know I can't do anything I got distracted at one point and I wasn't thinking in that feeling that effervescent feeling and I lost the presence but I didn't notice and I went off and then Kirsten turns around and looks up and I'm like presence and it's just fun to know that we are connected in that one mind and nowhere else and it's good enough that's forever that's it the last last last last last last okay so here's a question a lot of us have been touching on how family members react and in my experience they can be some of the most bizarre projections I already have a minister I was wondering if you wanted to address that a little bit I think when we look at that the ego made the world and the ego made the self-concept the ego projected out the world and there's even a point where Jesus says in the text everyone makes an ego for himself and for everyone else so it's like a legion you have an ego then it projects out these bodies with egos so we're never really meeting somebody in the present it's just meeting a memory of them meeting an unresolved speck of guilt and my friend Rusty channeled all these songs from the angels and she would take down the lyrics and she would come to me and she would start to read the lyrics like poetry to me and then she would sometimes where she'd sing it and then she'd burst into laughter at a particular line where she couldn't handle it anymore she'd just roar lapping but one of them was six small doses six billion bodies give a little to each this is the angel and she just burst she couldn't stop laughing she was singing it and she'd burst into laughter at that one so basically what we see is these constellations there's a lot of healing family constellations and a lot of healing around that these are part of the construct and the mind it's almost like Carolyn Miss Mace talks about agreements and contracts before you even enter in there's all these tangled web this tangled web of guilt and constructs and when you're listening from it the ones that seem to act it out and have bizarre reactions or whatever art I would always ask Jesus like what's that what was that and it's like another blessing acting it out and look at what you still believe in in your mind even if they seem to go schizo or if it was a client I was working with it was look like they'd gone into a demonic possession and I'm like what was that you know to Jesus what was that with this crazy thing in the eyes like Glinda Blair kind of thing and Jesus is like I'm showing you the shadows and dark spots of your own heart and you know in other words it's all opportunities that we should always have gratitude for whatever we're seeing including the acting out of what we believe because it's pushed out of awareness and we wouldn't be able to get in contact with it so easily so we should have great gratitude and also then the more you get into your purpose the more you're just that's where like I mentioned let me guide you Jesus says where to miracles like most people I had a biological family and some friends I was pretty quiet, shy I had a small circle of friends but Jesus is like we're going miracle working and then that's when a lot of the travels and meeting hundreds and thousands of people and on and on and on it was like he was loosening things up to saying if you can treat some loved ones with great love and devotion and reverence I want to let's expand it to include everybody else in don't exclude them but just throw your let's cast the notes wider and wider and include everyone in and he said I'll do it for you I'll show you how it's done so that's the most practical thing and also it's the best use of time you'll be guided to where you can bestow your miracles and then you gain more confidence instead of trying to work with certain ones where you have this thought they are not getting it they are definitely not getting it and Jesus is like I'm not asking to make them get it I'm asking you to love them and be a miracle worker and let me guide you so let's see how it turns it around from trying to work it out specifically to something much greater that's always there Karen I think we've come to are we then oh that's your call you have a comment or not a comment not a comment it's a question it'll there's always how are we doing on it's four o'clock okay it's four on the dot we'll keep our schedule so tonight there will be an experience something to be announced on the board