 Welcome back to the 21 convention of Orlando, Florida 10 year anniversary special event right now as you can probably obviously see And everyone around you here. We have a Q&A panel with a bunch of speakers all available remaining speakers of this entire event We're gonna do one hour Q&A and It's gonna be badass. Let's do it Max let's roll. We're yet. Oh there. All right. If you guys have a question I explain the rules to you raise your hand be patient wait for the mic and We'll do it There you go right there boom This is for the P away contingent on the stage How do you guys feel about us coming here with the? main goal of try to get laid with beautiful women when I were Having the burden of saving Western civilization on our shoulders Who is that for again? Could you repeat that the pickup? Okay I can't teach civilization as a whole all I can do is work with my little corner of what I know how to do So what I can do is teach you how to get that area of your life handled That's all I claim to be able to do Western civilization to me is an abstract concept that is open to interpretation in any case So I can help you with one the other that's a Above my pay grade as ex-president who I did particularly like would say The two aren't mutually exclusive There's no reason you can't go around banging women and Then when you're not doing that work on improving civilization It's pretty simple to me is should be more motivation for you to handle your shit quicker That way you can be around longer To be more good to help Western civilization out Handle your shit quick Be more motivated Commit yourself fully because when you learn to do that with a woman You're gonna really learn to do and be a positive influence around the people around you handle your shit quick Oh, come on Rowland. Are you guys something for this one? Next question Richard Cooper I Think one of the things that you can do to serve yourself better is become the absolute best version of yourself I'm quit fucking around making excuses for nonsense in your life. Like I need to save civilization You can't serve anybody unless you're the absolute best version of yourself. So that's where that's where I would start Build something that lives on when you're dead That's the enduring foundation of civilization of the things live on and the people come and go What he said very important Build the best thing that you can about your family People here that teach that whether it's businesses But understand that you will die and pass away leave something behind That's a way to fight As most of you guys probably already know one of my tenants For red pill awareness is that I believe that men need to Subscribe to Enlightened self-interest and what that means is I can't help others until I can help myself first And then once I've helped myself Make sure you are helping others after you have helped yourself to the point where you are Capable of doing so and then you put yourself into a position where you can be a better judge of who it is You want to help and who it is you don't want to help All right Hey Over the years I met a lot of men who have gone to this convention some of them have gone on and Continued to improve themselves continue to be better men Others have sort of coasted or you know, let things fall into obscurity And I like to hear from people in many different areas whether they you're in fitness or you're in dating or your red pill or something else In your area what separates the guy who goes on and continues improving himself in that area versus somebody who just Let's things slide and coast good enough is The natural enemy of great Tragically most people who are naturally talented at things or take to things very quickly Become good enough and stop refining themselves stop contemplating themselves beyond what is referred to as Unconscious competence they don't reflectively looked in on themselves to see how they can continue to improve The best thing for people is to recognize when a person is Naturally talented and prepared to put in the time to come truly skilled That's when we find the masters in the world the ones where everyone knows their name the Michael Jordan's the yo-yo maz Okay, people who have coaches who help them to look in at themselves and better understand people who are introspective without being necessarily circumspect Look at themselves understand and develop enhancing themselves with a goal to continually Refine and refactor themselves to become as good as they can be I Can't speak for anyone else. I know that for me. That's a pain in the ass But I strive to do it all the time Because I can't think of a better use of my time So Coming from the military side the guys who succeeded and the guys who failed the ones who did well the ones who they enjoyed the Suck they embraced the suck. It wasn't a destination. They were going towards, you know, you don't reach a point It's self-improvement to the grave at no point are you there? There's no there. It's the destination You know, you can either enter the cycle of redundancy without progress Or you keep doing the same thing and you kind of try but you don't really try or maybe you achieve that one goal You had sex with that one girl you wanted to have sex with and you're like, I'm good Why you sat again? Because you didn't reach your destination. There is no destination to reach you gotta enjoy the grind every day Everything you do every day. That's the joy, you know waking up. You've got one life You go to sleep you're dead next morning. You might wake up if you do you're born again Live another life go as far as you can every day, but you're never gonna reach the end And then when you reach the ground, you know, you go back to the world and okay as you're dead All right. Oh Shit Let's repeat it. That's all I was trying to thought go ahead. I got it. Yeah, go ahead So what can what separates the guys who continue to succeed after an event versus the guys who coast and kind of slide back Into the way they were Yeah, yeah, yeah so what separates the men who come to this convention and Succeed after the fact versus the guys who come and then coast back to the way they were or regress the bones of your mastery or habits guys hear me Habits are infectious pervasive and It's easy to slide back into what you were before think about Do you railing a habit put an obstacle in front of it? Find a way to force yourself into it Consciously creating a new habit How do you do that sometimes it can be very simple change your waking pattern Change your Your caffeine intake Maybe add it if you don't drink coffee take it out anything that's going to disrupt your body a little bit is going to create a momentum That lets you continue to shift Change all your habits in other words. It's a difficult question to answer because That fire of motivation is going to be different for everyone right everyone's goals and coming here is going to be somewhat different that the Challenges the sorrows the joys that they have in their lives outside of the convention going to be different What drives you to return to old ways? Typically is laziness I said get off your ass Stay off it But build those habits in To me it comes down to self-respect at what level are you respecting yourself to be unique enough to push beyond? the average mediocre person in life and To me there's always been last in 25 years in a strip club is unheard of and what I what I figured out along the way is you have to Take time to renew yourself spiritually You can't survive if you just keep grinding along you have to take time You'll breathe the energy and have your own ritual That's going to renew the vision and The more you renew the vision and the more you move forward the higher levels of mastery that you get You know and I really think about it It's like it comes down to me because if I don't lead the way super strong with those around me What if my friends my kid my nephews if I'm not that leader for them who are they gonna look to they may look to someone who's less than me and That could be the defining factor in their life if they become successful or not so it's really about like how do you respect? yourself and those around you and You have to realize you're gonna be a warrior if you're gonna go above and beyond into the realms of superior You're gonna get grinded out. You're gonna be a warrior and be good with it Because nobody else is gonna do it probably One other thing I think is to have peers who are gonna check you and surround yourself with people who will actually hold you Accountable to all the bullshit talk that you do You know if you're saying I'm gonna go out and change my life tomorrow, and I'm gonna do this and that and the other thing if you're all by yourself You can make all kinds of excuses for yourself because you'll believe them You know, but you know if your friends are holding you accountable to the same goals You're gonna have to answer to them And I think it's important to surround yourself who with people who are gonna make you Accountable to the things that you say that you're gonna do Yeah, just one piece of advice for all the guys here. This was a lot of information in four days Okay, this was a lot of different opinions every single day So my advice would be to just stick with the one thing that stuck out with you the most work on that and Focus on that in little baby steps Don't try and do everything all at once because then you get overwhelmed and then you'll definitely set yourself up for failure So do it in baby steps pick focus on one little area at a time and then work up from there So this is for Ross Eric and Rolo, but if anyone else has any input go for it Why do you guys value or what meaning and value do you put on marriage? basically sum it up why Marriage for you guys what we're gonna go ahead. We'll value of it We're gonna cap out at three as well. I've never been married. I've never wanted to be married I've managed to dodge that bullet. I hope to continue to do so. So that's my answer to that question I put very little value on it personally if you put value on it, and that's fine for you But that's my answer from my own personal experience Hey McNally need you to check your phone Oh Well, I am married I've been married for 21 years now so for me, I Think it's you know at a stage where I'm at right now I'll be 50 next year and I think that Okay, sorry, I think that As far as the valuation that I put on marriage is I Understand that a lot of people ask me to say how can you be roller to mossy and be married? How can you you know? How is your? You know, how is your life as a red pill advocate or you know the author that you are how does that? Jail with you being married and I always say well first of all I think it's I look at it more of a as a lifestyle choice first and then second of all I constantly have Guys come up to me and they say you know can I get can I have a child and can I build a family without a woman? You know they want to be able to You know in some way find a way to either adopt or have a kid, but they're just they're wanting to move that That responsibility from you know remove that responsibility from the woman So that this guys wants to pretty much pull off what a single mom would do and for me, you know, I still go along with the idea that Marriage is still the best way to raise a kid and if you have a feminine woman and a masculine man, which is you know Based in you know a marriage where it's based on your frame your own masculine frame I think that that's probably the best way to raise to raise kids and to Have a you know strong gender roles for both of them and As far as marriage is concerned I really believe that the most successful way that men can you know create a family is from a red pill perspective and understanding The ins and outs of of women and what their nature is so I don't really see You know marriage is being a hindrance to you know being red pill aware I just think that You know most guys think that they want they just want to they want to ditch marriage or they you know It's I understand that's a risk. I understand that a lot of guys would rather go mig-tau and Just you know avoid it all together and I think you know life is risk as it is But you know if you want to be you know guys always hit me up and they say you know of They want to talk about how vulnerability is strength and and it goes into kind of what Jack was talking about how we kind of turn around those Those items where you're those those aspects, you know, or we want to make a strength out of a vulnerability. So I Think it's as as You know as a married guy, I think that's something that I can speak to I'm glad that I can it's just another aspect of you know who I am in The length of my life, you know, I wasn't roll-up to Massey always I was you know a punk kid in the streets in Hollywood at one point. So It's just another step. It's just another, you know progression in my life right now And I I think that's actually advantageous because it allows me to speak to certain aspects of the red pill That I don't think that a lot of guys can right now I mean there we tend to really compartmentalize the red pill. We say here's the pickup artists Here's the migtail guys. Here's the MRAs. Here's these guys over here And they all have something to contribute to that to that awareness now doesn't mean I'm gonna necessarily agree with it all but we're all coming at it from different aspects and Most of the guys up here that you see how all have a completely different take, you know Some are married some are not Some you know we're players and some aren't players So I think that being married the value of that is that it's just one more aspect That I think that I can speak to We have one more on that have not a good Personally, I don't have a lot of value on marriage. I am married. Okay for a different cause all together And I really can the way that I set up my marriage is she understand exactly who I am going into it So marriage is really defined by the commitment to your cause who you are, you know having a well-defined who you are On things like that, but you can really either way I'm very envious of people that are in my parents married almost 50 years very envious. They're very loving I Can respect that so I think it really comes down to the individual and the people that you get into the marriage with And really having a instead of pushing forward and and try to force it You know really get to know the person and get through all the insecurities to a degree and have a firm foundation Who that person is that you're gonna spend the rest of your life with and if you have the same values and The same boundaries and the visions it's probably gonna get along pretty good The problem with the American society is we see all these Movies that it's like love at first sight. That's not the way true. Love works Get you love works by you know having the same values for the most part and things like that So if you really understand that and you're committed. Yeah, it can work out great I'm right in the middle me personally I in the first thing I said when I got done after said I do is freedom Because now I have the freedom of a person in my life that understands my level of lifestyle that I'm gonna do I don't think and you don't understand I don't think my wife realized the level that I was going to she knew who I was before But then when I was like freedom now, I'm gonna test you to see how committed you are to your cause and You know and I put her I put her through the woodworks, but in all reality Personally, I don't believe Most men should be getting married I think it's all about commitment, you know, and if you're committed, I don't see what a piece of paper really does That's my own personal opinion Got another question here a final word on that everybody do you do a Yahoo search for a private marriage fuck Google? All right, go ahead All right, so a question for Johnny Eric and sock So I mean all of the speakers basically talk about as a man you want to be masculine You want to be result driven you want to have a purpose But meanwhile you want to be playful with women. So for me having a sense of purpose within me is good, but it kind of hinders me from being playful with women because When I'm interacting with her basically I'm I'm here to do to do what I'm doing and then just like It's like Johnny said, you know, you're like your your your bigger, you know Dangerous creature coming up to a woman you kind of creeps her out. So is there any Thing or like your advice, you know, something I can do to maintain a playful vibe while Not losing a sense of purpose Yeah, I'll jump because I have the mic and I was asked Quite honestly, I cannot be playful when I'm terribly serious and when I'm taking myself seriously I'm not very playful And so in that regard if I want to actually slip into a playful mentality or flirt and play I think of a little boy, you know and particularly you know myself as a little boy How would I have interacted with the the ideal little girl that you know that kind of the teasing? You know the playfulness the the tension You know the push Paul and then the the the Real honest innocent desire to enjoy the moment without expectations that it's going to lead somewhere sexually or something else the the other is I'll play like what would what would her cat do? And one of the things is I'll I'll knock kind of a cup towards the edge of the edge of a shelf or You know a table and push it right to the edge and then and then be willing to kind of push a little bit more Just just to develop tension And see if she course corrects and then ultimately If she doesn't I'll be willing to push the thing off the damn table if it's got it You know, even if it's filled just to be playful and then sit down and jump up and go now That's why we can't have nice things And again, but I can't do that with when I'm being really serious so being able to handle the dielectric tension of between Two kind of polar elements of being terribly serious directed and focused and dedicated to that You know driven and then being playful and being able to throttle back and forth. I'm just not all go I do throttle. It's almost like driving a car where you can actually use a stick shift You know work to clutch work to work the gas and actually run that machine And that's typically how I approach it That was for Sakhti's and Johnny and Eric, I think There is a or I used to be a Very brilliant psychotherapist named Eric Byrne Who wrote about something called transactional analysis. We're a book called games people play Which is a wonderful treatise on this. It explains that everyone Tends to be in one of three different states through which they'll trans they'll Move during the course of their interactions with other people They'll either be in parent mode adult mode or child mode Some people will immediately go into child mode when someone else is in parent mode The parent mode person takes responsibility for everything and becomes driven by you want to call it the superego They Expect things from the other person and criticize them and try and control them And sometimes the oppositional defiant nature of people will put them into child mode So na na na not listening to you or whichever Generally speaking amongst my peers whether male or female I try to spend all of my time in adult mode or in child mode I never ever go into parent mode. There's no value there for me No interest in spending time with people who make me feel I should go into Parent mode and I spend no time with people who go into parent mode around me Because I am not willing to have someone try and raise me When I have to be serious, I'm in adult mode, but it's a very lightweight thing I don't take things that don't need to be taken seriously seriously life is actually very lightweight Okay, there are a few things where a decision you make is either going to cost someone their life if it's a wrong decision Or tremendously set you back And generally most decisions are reasoned Rational will likely have the outcome you want and if it doesn't look like that's working You simply go back and course correct As soon as I'm with people whom I trust and I feel confident with or in circumstances where I know that whatever happens I'll grab the reins if I need to for a few moments course correct and then be able to return to it I spend my time in child mode being playful being light attentive frivolous sometimes glib because Why not? I know that if the bad shit comes down I will instantaneously transition To taking care of things as an adult does the rest of the time I treat things very lightly Anyone who spent any time with me will tell you I'm constantly joking I don't take things seriously unless it's absolutely necessary and it's very rarely Absolutely necessary This doesn't mean I'm trivial. I accomplish shitload. I take care of all sorts of people. I'm constantly doing the best I can for everyone But I do this without it's being heavy Do you follow? I think you really got to respect the fact that in my view of the world I think laughter and playfulness is one of the highest states of consciousness that you can reach And the ability to understand that and do your own stuff and get it out of the way And when you do that you open up other space for other people because when you have your shit handled there's a certain level of Of fulfillment there and when you're fulfilled and you're handling the stuff that you need to handle It's good. You have more abundance to give you have more laughter to give When you don't do the shit that you're supposed to do Then you get caught up into the rat race and life becomes serious Become stressful and then it's hard to find that laughter and their play playfulness So the more you take care of your shit the more you look forward to you know bringing one of the highest states Playfulness and laughter upon mankind and and womankind. Okay, you're doing them a service when they laugh It is one of the most healing things that can go on in a person's life And so when you really look at it like you're bringing them such a gift Because so people are so many people are stressed out in life When you can get them laughing when you can get them to say hey life's not as serious as you think it is Because it's a nightmare to think that life is serious Especially this day and age we're all being tested right now to come up with our best forms of self that we'll be able to laugh at this And understand that you know, it's just a big cosmic fucking joke on some level But it's not The faster you realize that laughter and like I said playfulness You're you're bringing such a wonderful treasure and gift to a person that they appreciate it That's why a lot of women like to hang out with me because I get them laughing I get them out of a short circuit that seriousness that they have And then that's how I personally look at it is I want to help them and heal them The best way to do it is get them to laugh and to look at it through humorous eyes Next question over here My uh my question is for Richard. Um, so we all know Richard Cooper. Oh, I'm sorry. No, uh, Nikolai Okay, so we all know the culture war has uh come to technology And we all know that people are spending an extraordinary amount of time consuming technology A lot of this self-improvement stuff that we've heard about here requires us to spend a lot of time in meat space So we have to be strategic about the technologies that we're going to use To engage with the culture war on the internet or or through devices other than bitcoin Are there some specific things that you think are important for people here to pay attention uh to technologically I was just talking with some folks last night about this this topic because um You know, I said I had the idea that really The internet has kind of failed us, you know, if you were around back in 95 and you're you're still dial-up but you saw the potential of kind of of um Decentralized distributed information with no Gatekeepers in the sense that you know the major media was where nothing, you know You never heard any kind of news unless it you know went through some editing board, right? And there was the big three. Well, we're back to the big three YouTube google and facebook Right. I I'm on my eighth ban on facebook eight Yeah And and the last and the last five of them are 30 day bands So yeah 30 days. So like half my time is on so anyway The last the last time I I was on three days between 30 day bands. So I'm I'm in a 30 day band right now And youtube, you know, anthony was uh talking about that yesterday how how okay Maybe they're not gonna like just pull your video down But it's not going to show up in search anymore no matter how many likes it gets or how many views it has or anything like that um, and then same same thing, you know YouTube is google essentially right and so who knows Who knows how their algorithms work and how the the leftist the cancer of leftism Gets in there to make sure that stuff that that people, you know, take this nfl thing Whatever you think about the flag Or whatever you think about patriotism or whatnot um To me if you want to protest you do it on your own fucking time You don't you you don't go you don't go and protest your employer when you're at fucking work, right? so So anyway, so in terms of technology, yes, there is blockchain technology. There's already a uh um a uh a social network called uh steam it That where uh, you can you can write posts you actually can get paid in coin if people like your posts And once it's once it's up Doesn't matter what it is it ain't never going away, right? So you can see the sort of technologies developing for video distribution post distribution What not where there literally is once it's once it's written into the chain and it's all it's it's distributed Through the protocol not database a database implies that there's somebody Who controls that base of data? This is distributed. So this is what we need to see going forward to to really bring us The the true potential gift that we all envisioned that the internet was way back when anyone else have anything to add All right next question Max we're yet, right? All right. I got a question for that. Got a question for tanner So, uh, you know, you talked about Style in your speech uh different archetypes uh different best practices I want to know, uh, what you thought of the other speakers who is a good example of somebody that has their dress together Who could we look to? Putting the pressure on and not on me on you guys, right? Um I was actually I was paying attention to this as we've been going throughout the conference and I think one of the things that's so interesting is It's very easy at events like this to be able to distinguish for the most part those who are speakers versus those who are attendees And a lot of that is because of subtle things like body language, but a lot of it is because Whether it's consciously or subconsciously these men have been able to develop a way to tell their individual stories through their clothing Jack like I talked about in my presentation yesterday. He typifies the rugged archetype Jack would look ridiculous if he were to dress like I do It is not congruent or consistent with the way that he lives his life But jack obviously cares about how he looks And he leverages that as the way to improve his reach and improve the viability of his own tribe, let alone his own life I think goldman does a great job of being able to combine the rugged and the rakeish archetypes because those both fit with How he interacts with the world and so he's able to Combine both of those as opposed to somebody like jack who leans so primarily rugged And so I think both of these guys are really good examples of ways to do that But you can look at everybody up here And to some degree or another you can tell that these men are projecting a story that is congruent with how they live their lives And it's through their clothing Well a question about where's max at yeah, hey for the next question george. Are we live streaming it? Have we? Nice nice Before you cut it in a bit Well, they can hear us on youtube as well. We'll take one question from youtube So george will be the master and commander of picking it take time. We have 25 minutes No, no, we let's go live a little more. We'll tease them and let them wait But pick it out take time pick the best one next question max you guys jack. I have a question for you All right here cool You attend a lot of events and speak at a lot of different venues with a lot of different messages When you read through your writings If you were to slice you on any given day one may get a different impression of you i.e. define you And I would say you you do a very good job at rewrapping and defining yourself How would you what would you say to the men in this room? Advice on defining themselves as men Regardless of the messages that are being projected upon them Well, it's hard. Um I mean because that's a constant struggle you know how This is such a buzzword, but everybody you know everybody uses the talk it talks about personal branding and it it sounds really Really, I don't know money oriented very business oriented for something that's really about who you are but you know what tanner said and You know, I think that it's it important to me to be a vessel for the message Uh for what I want to talk about And uh, you know, you can't let other things get in the way of that So, uh, depending on what you're really about. I mean figuring out what you're about. It's an entirely different subject Uh, obviously, but uh, once you kind of know which direction you want to go uh You know just constantly not letting other people and this is kind of basically what I talked about in the speech Not letting external forces determine You know who you are And uh trying to stay on point as far as that's uh, that's concerned Yeah Oh, george, what's up? Let's roll. All right. I've got a question for george So, uh in the same vein as my last question, uh, which speaker do you think has the best beard? I'm known for saying that all beards are beautiful I don't take sides. I like whatever anyone's choices. I'm a I'm all about choice and uh Being a good conservative libertarian. I honor people's choices whatever those choices are Uh, even if that's facial hair But whatever I I if I see somebody trying something that's not That they're working too hard at I think style When it comes to facial hair really needs to uh You have to think about your purpose. I mean, are you a rock star? You can get away with certain stuff if you have, you know, if you own like a record shop You can have a certain look If you're an investment banker You know, you might look like something else Uh for the past two years, I mean, I had a beard down to my belt buckle big white beard gandalf And it really was a social experiment and a bucket list kind of thing and I met a lot of people during that time. It's almost like when you're going through divorce When people meet you during that sh t f period of your life That's all they know is the discombobulated you and You know people You know and then you'll get out of that phase And then you have to go back and make apologies to everyone who you screwed over when you were You know in a confused state of mind Um at different stages different things work for different people for two years A big giant beard worked for me. Um, I mean, wouldn't it be a trip if like Richard Cooper showed up next year with no beard I mean, you wouldn't recognize him, right? Um Or if I showed up and I've done many speaking engagements with the big beard and then when people see me they do a double take and I have A very very loyal Following all across the world who got mad at me actually mad cursing me out Because I took my beard off like literally just vile poison I wake up every day and look at comments and emails and I'm like It's just a damn beard, but I guess to other people it wasn't You know, so as far as facial hair. It's like I said at my speech, you know A bob seager beard A kid rock beard just gnarly They don't look like they put a lot of thought into it, but it works for them So I think everybody's facial hair here works for them Next question Uh, is it from youtube or you? You okay, let's roll. All right. I got a question for Richard Cooper So Richard, uh, you've been in the room for almost every speech over the past four days I want to know, um, what speeches inspired you personally Take your time I don't know where to start, um You know, I value a lot of the conversations I've had Uh outside of this room of how I value conversations I've had with the speakers Um after their talks, uh over dinners driving in cars I don't think I can pick just one. Um, you know, there, you know, somebody asked me earlier, um What do you take from these and where's the value and I just thought to myself? Well, it's like a buffet everybody offers something they all have a story to tell Um, sometimes it comes from pain. Sometimes it comes from pleasure. Sometimes it comes from Whatever, you know, the narrative is Take what is useful to you and apply it and do something with it Here we go max Yeah, um, I have a question too. Uh, this is for alan For who for alan alan. All right. Here we go Um Is there is there ever a time to be Subtle and and covert with a woman when it comes to game or is it Mode one all the time every circumstance no matter what covert As in Not so explicit about what it is that you want in every given situation Well, no No, I'm I refuse to insult a woman's intelligence By pretending that I'm not trying to exchange orgasms with the one I know I do and she knows I do So I just get it out the way You know, again, you heard me light heartedly in my presentation Doing a routine where guys say, hey You like coming to this restaurant. I want to fuck you god those boots look great. I want to fuck you I mean, that's real And and quite frankly I cringe when I listen to guys. I get a quick story. I was in a grocery store There was this hot chicken there when it's hot outfit Every guy in there was looking at her And this guy comes in approacher And he's talking about he got a new truck And he he recently renovated his basement In all this other bullshit And finally she says, you know what with all due respect I would like to keep shopping And he said, oh, okay And then I followed him up. I said wouldn't it be easy if he just came and said damn you got a nice juicy ass And I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you And she laughed hysterically she said yes, I would have preferred now I wouldn't have gave him any but I would have preferred he'd been that straightforward so I could quickly reject him And that's what that's what more one is all about because here's the real deal fellas In studies and research have backed us up Most women know some women know as quickly as 10 seconds in a conversation if they're going to exchange orgasms with you And at the latest I'd say roughly the five minute mark So I I just assert that any conversation beyond five minutes that you haven't expressed some sexual desire You just you fooling yourself number one You know, you're not being authentic and and again you're insulting women's intelligence because they know you want to fuck They know you do So I just I don't believe I respect that I know there's other puas and dating coaches That believe, you know, now here's the thing though when you say subtle I wouldn't totally contradict that because a misconception with me is that I just walk up to women and say Hey, my name is allen. I want to fuck the shit out of you No, I'm smoother than that but So you can have your own style each man can have their own style like some man might not like to say the word fuck They might say just simply having sex making love whatever As long as you make it clear to a woman That you're not actually trying to have a 20 minute conversation about 18th century Japanese art When in your mind you don't give a fuck about 18th century Japanese art I'm cool with however a man expresses himself There we go I can tell you from my own experience and the experience of tens of thousands of my students That being covert at the right time in the right way Can appeal to the unconscious mind in a way where you will get women throwing themselves at you I'm not lying. You can go to my website You can see testimonials now I'm not saying that you should deny a sexual intent Never said that you can be directing your approach I teach an approach where you walk up and you say excuse me But I owe you an apology My mother said It's rude to stare and when I saw you I've not been able to take my eyes off you That's very direct And then within the course of the conversation I'll embed all sorts of commands I'll bring up all sorts of themes I'll appeal to the unconscious mind. So put aside the word covert But if you leave appeals to the unconscious mind on the table You're putting down one of your biggest weapons So go ahead and be direct if you want to But that doesn't preclude Appealing to the unconscious mind if you leave that Tool kit out of your box In my opinion my experience experience of tens of thousands of my thousands of my students You're leaving a very very powerful tool on the table Pick the tool up use it with elegance combine it with being direct in a way that works with you It's not an either or it's both All right It's all about the tools and the toolbox and the situation and the women that you're with Most of my girlfriends and they all hate to say this Okay, we're all having sex within five minutes Of me meeting them they all say and they all say the same thing. Would you just different? Okay, and I'm like, no you aren't I joke with them. I'm like, you're just slutty. It's all good You've probably done it before and I joke with them and they're like, no, it was it was the way and they get very adamant about the fact that it was the direct Being present put him into an altered state because they're not used to the intensity or the connection Or the intimacy that I'm doing in that situation Now vice versa. I could be in a room and watch a girl It's all about the situation and situation awareness where I can sit there and watch all these guys hitting on her And I let them beat her down like like like I mean she's no no no no no And by watching it, I know at the end I can either be direct Or I can be subtle and I've had many girlfriends that it's the subtleness That they like because they were kind of testing to me to see if I'd be like that, you know to be forward So it's really about reading the situation and you're you're making a guest who would agree You have to make the guests am I going to go in this way? Am I going to go in this way? You get the thing if you're going strong, you can always say I'm just joking like I just loosen up Oh, you fucker you got me. Okay, and then you're like, okay, that obviously didn't work Okay, so it like I said to a real master at what he does Okay, first of all is not a master because it's never going to understand all of it Is but is to have the tools to be able to be good enough to be direct and be good enough to be indirect When the time's right and that just comes with awareness comes with a lot of failures and it comes with you know All the good things that offers and brings to that. So that's just my own personal experience on it Next question also speakers from here on out in 90 second limit. We have about 12 minutes left Go, thank you a consistent theme that I heard in a lot of your speeches was about authenticity and self-acceptance And I'd like to hear more about getting from point a to point b from going from insecurity to self-acceptance Did you have a speaker in mind or someone ahead at Johnny? Confidence Comes from experience The only way I've ever found To become any good at anything Is risking Having your ego shout at you. Oh, no, don't try that And saying thank you To your ego and going right ahead and doing what makes sense to you As you experiment as you attempt as you have success after success regardless of whether they're positive successes at first and become more positive Or whether they're particularly negative successes at first and as you course correct they become more positive Your sense of confidence Builds as you realize the cause and effect relationship Between what you're doing and the results you're getting Only when you fight off that true demon That everyone possesses The ego that is desperately trying to prevent you from making it diminished By your making what it perceives to be a mistake When you get past that it's all gravy Because every experience you have fortifies your self-confidence You follow I emphasize being real and authentic because I think there's too many people The number one to give Give a damn too much what other people think what other people expect of them I can't tell you how many male clients I talk to That they say well alan I want to be more upfront and specific and straightforward and expressing my desires and interests But i'm worried about if she's going to say this if she's going to react this way If she's going to have this reaction And i'm like get out of her head Why are you in her head? Whatever reaction she has that's her choice And you got to respect her choice That's on her My thing is when I when I interact with women I just simply concentrate on what I want to verbally communicate to them because the reality is There was one time I was walking down the street and there was a lovely woman walking my way and I just said Hello, how's your day going and she said fuck off Now most people in this room would say that was an innocent opening comment But the lesson I learned from that is that even the comments you think might be pg 13 disney innocent Conventional can still provoke a response of fuck off now if all I know her sister Could have gotten in a car accident. She could have got fired from a job right before I ran into her And I give people that benefit of the doubt. I don't know what's going on in their life before I meet them But So I just concentrate on what alan roger curry wants to say what he wants to communicate And I've gotten a myriad of reactions I could say you could say the same thing to five different women and get five different responses So the end result is there is no quote unquote right thing to say to women You just got to say what you feel comfortable with What makes you feel confident saying it and whatever result do not attach yourself to any specific result reaction or response Just let them respond how they may How do you go from Being insecure to building that confidence becoming authentic Well in my speech I talked about how everybody on this stage was here for a reason. That's why anthony picked us Each of us was authentic in our message. How did we get to that point? We tested ourselves and we won that test piece by piece. You have to implement intentional discomfort into your life It's very easy to be comfortable. That's what ryan talked about. I wish it was here to answer this question for you But you've got to make the easy shit hard. Go a day without your cell phone Sleeping the fucking floor, you know, don't eat until dinner start implementing these little things make your house really cold Go go camping and only bring, you know a hammock, you know, and I'm not even kidding. I've done it Test yourself because then you know, I'm a man who can sleep outside. I'm a man who doesn't need a roof I'm a man who can get the girl you get the one girl. You're uncomfortable having a conversation You get shot down But you talk to that other girl and then, you know, you had a positive response I'm a guy who gets a positive response. What's next kiss the girl. What's next sleep with the girl Now you're a guy who's done all these things. You know what you're capable of so you feel strong You're confident what you can do because you've done it I'm just gonna say something here real quick. Um, I think A lot of this has to do with persistence And I hear pick up artists all the time say go out there and do a hundred approaches And it's like a numbers game and they're just like spamming approach approach approach approach I would tell you go out and do one approach every week once a week And that would end up being 52 approaches inside of a year That is more approaches than most guys will do in a lifetime So if it's persistence persistence persistence, you keep going and you'll find authenticity in that Center somebody So I think the first thing we have to do is understand what we actually value in authenticity because The right kind of authenticity is actually authenticity that's earned and I know that can sound paradoxical But when you think about like timmy cheeto fingers who lives in his basement like he's being authentic But we don't value that and he nobody values that in him And so the kind of authenticity that we're after it's kind of like, you know When you ask a woman what she's interested in a man and she'll say a good sense of humor And he's a good father and he gets along well with my friends like that's only there if she's already attracted to him And so authenticity is only valuable if you're a man who's already earned your authenticity And that's what these guys are saying do hard things Hold yourself accountable to doing hard things leave a legacy build something and then be authentic to that version To the man who makes the best version of himself and don't use Authenticity is a way to justify the fact that well I'm being true to myself and this is just how I feel about it because it can be self comforting Or it can be self motivating and so don't use it as a security blanket Use it as a way to get rid of your securities and make yourself better In the back there you go Sorry, this is for socrates and then others can jump in You've been a tremendous mentor in anthony's life Now looking back at your life What kind of mentor stood out to you and what made him such a great mentor? You where would you want me to start what what What mentor started out in my life? No, just a great mentor that pops up in your mind and what made him great Oh god, you know, I I want to sit down and say you imprint on your father You you imprint on what you know first And and of course there's this uh issue with A lot of times your heroes will fail you because they're human And when you're immature, I don't think you have a degree of empathy and an understanding of the human nature And and their personal failings And so I kind of had this conflicted relationship with my ideal of my father As my father and then then of course coupling that as him as a man And I think as I I matured as I changed and experienced more of the world I became much more aware and had a better relationship with my concept of him As an individual ultimately, this is a man who Sacrificed a great deal of opportunity who unfortunately had to face Lost dreams and then be very very very close to Seeing what that life would have been like And then he pressed forward with it because that's where he was at He also had the ability to take care of his family his children his wife Uh at tremendous risk to himself in a number of ways and so I I stand before him as his son And I was always afraid of being in his shadow and what I ultimately realized is when I outgrew his shadow I very much was a reflection of that man And so I try to sit down and honor him As my own father and then I look back in the history of you know mankind And particularly my lineage and think of all the fathers before that within my line and think I'm at the burning edge of that I I kind of owe my family and them that obligation to be a better version of them and to carry that family genetic legacy forward I'm pouring my resources into my daughter She will bear you know, she will bear those that burden for me as well Going to the future and children are here to replace us Uh in in the best of ways and it's an ability for me to live Beyond my own life is literally she shares half my chromosomes And so I'm pouring that into to my daughter and I I looked at my father as an immense mentor One more here we go Greatest teacher of my life the most brilliant human being I've ever met My meditation teacher shinsen young his practice has taught me an entirely different way to go about being human and an entirely different way of Relating to the world far and away the greatest teacher I've ever met. I've been mentored by richard bandler I've been mentored by a lot of people whose names you would know and wouldn't know but shinsen Stands out far in a way. He taught me a great deal about being compassionate nlp taught me nothing about compassion When I met shinsen His meditation practice taught me to be compassionate So he's far in a way the greatest mentor greatest teacher of my life We have time for one final question and one final answer a question's being passed to ivan and it is okay perfect What is the difference between being a man and a warrior if any? Well the question is what is the difference between a man and a warrior? Think about what a warrior does You know, he goes out and he seeks engagement Okay, there is a growth There is impact in the world all of the things I'm taking this more of a Philosophical question as opposed to a soldier example That warrior mindset is one of engagement deliberate as a means to grow In some of the eastern tradition you have another model of the householder Guy on the mountain, right? And You go up in the mountain and meditate or stay up there become the sage The risk is that when you come down Your learning doesn't work because it's not tested On the warrior's side He may die in the engagement It's an embracing of risk Just seeking of risk Huh? That's very important That's the the spirit of the warrior to me As someone who engages with life Engages deeply into things That goes inwards as well the difference between a warrior and someone who Simply goes out to try to dominate everything. It's profound Huh? Take advantage Of your nature as a man to become a warrior Huh? Being a man is what you are. That's our nature. That's the beast that we are Being a warrior Is a choice If you are not putting yourself at risk That's not the kind of engagement That's just going to make you a warrior You have to actually do it. You have to be in the real world Doing it Huh? I then I'll make it hurt. Yep. In fact, you will I then I might die. I guarantee you you will die Huh? Gentlemen, that's all the time we have give it up for your speakers