 Remember a Hallmark card when you carry enough to send the very best. Ladies and gentlemen, this is James Hilton. Tonight on our Hallmark Playhouse we enjoy ourselves by presenting a dramatization of a book that recently had all America laughing The Egg and I by Betty MacDonald. This delightful story with its equally delightful title tells of the trials and tribulations of running a chicken farm. And those who have never done such a thing as well as those who have will find Miss MacDonald's story a happy choice for our first Hallmark Playhouse performance of 1950. And we're especially fortunate in having for the chief role that charming and famous actress Miss Claudette Colbert. And now a word about Hallmark cards from Frank Goss before we begin the first act of The Egg and I. Hallmark is the name to remember when you want to remember your friends. For birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, holidays, there is a quality about Hallmark cards that whispers good taste and you'll send them with pride for that identifying Hallmark on the back adds meaning it says you cared enough to send the very best. Now Hallmark Playhouse presenting Betty MacDonald's The Egg and I starring Claudette Colbert. I never spit. My mother taught me that it's a wife's bound and duty to see that her husband is happy in his work. According to mother, if your husband wants to give up the banking business and polish agates for a living, let him. Help him with his agate polishing. Learn to know and to love agates and incidentally to eat them. And so it was that a week after my marriage to Bob, I found myself driving along a dirt road high in the mountains of Washington. We were young, we were in love, we were just starting out together. That was a few years and a few million eggs ago and it was the real beginning of our love story. I remember how Bob turned to me with a dreamy look in his eyes and said, Betty, you know, I don't think there's anything in the world more beautiful than a chicken. Well, thank you darling, the same to you. Oh, what's the matter? Don't you like chickens? I don't know. I've never known any socially. Oh, those days I worked on that chicken farm with the happiest days of my life. You know, some people don't like the noise they make, but to me their voice is saying the prettiest love song you'd ever want to hear. Yeah, I can imagine. Cackle, cackle, cackle. Oh, you'll be crazy about chickens too, Betty, as soon as you get used to it. Oh, you know, it seems so, so isolated way up here. What is? It's really primitive. Betty, there's nothing like living in the country. You'll love it. I suppose the Neanderthal men and women were very happy here. I can just see a caveman charging down one of those hills dragging his wife by her hair. Here's where we turn in. There's the farmhouse. I knew you'd be speechless. I'm glad you are prepared for it. Well, of course it's a little run down right now, but we'll have it in tipped up running order in no time. You know, those logs are hand-hewn out of cedar. I'll show you the ax marks. Now, that'll be nice. Come on honey, let's go on and look around, huh? Look at the way those mountains scowl down at you. You can certainly tell they're antisocial. The place has atmosphere, hasn't it? I'll say it has. It doesn't look like much now, but when it's cleaned up and painted, it'll have a lot of charm. Hey, look at the newspapers on the wall. They're all dated 1885. I told you the place hadn't been lived in for a long time. I hope the last resident doesn't come back at midnight to read the papers. And the chicken yards. Betty, there's space and light and sunshine. You know, honey, if we were forced to a parting of the ways, I might be the first woman in history to name the chicken as correspondent. Darling, if you don't like the place, we'll forget it. You're crazy about it, aren't you? Well, it isn't enough just for me to like it. You've got to like it too. Well, I think with painting Cretan in a fire in the fireplace and some kirtans, how much is it? Well, there's 40 acres of land, this six-room log house, a barn, two chicken houses, a wood shed, and they'll throw in that stove over there, and we can get the whole kitten caboodle for $450. Sounds like we're getting an awful lot for our money. Oh, it's a bargain if I ever saw one. Well, darling, if it pleases you, I think we've found our home. I knew you'd fall in love with it when you got a good look at it. I am in love with it. You know why? Because I can see you sitting in front of that fireplace in the living room. You're in a smoking jacket, and I'm in my most glamorous negligee curled up beside you. And I can see you standing in the kitchen doorway, watching me whip up something on the stove. You got on a pink pinnacle, and there's a bow in your hair. And I can see you and me sitting there on that porch, looking into the spring darkness together. How betty there's happiness out here in the country for us. I'm sure of it. Happiness and contentment and peace. All right. Come here, funny face. I entered those days of happiness, contentment and peace. I became the little woman, protected, adored, cherished. Have you ever been married to a man who'd just bought a shack in the country? This horse is loaded into the woodshed and unloaded, will you? That's why I'm not moving. Well, get her off. As soon as you've finished sawing that plank, bring it up on the roof to me. Loaded chicks arrive today. Don't forget to fill their water jugs. Those chicks are valuable. Sure. Lay down the chicken coops. I'm trying to get him to burn. What do you think I'm doing? Why are you calling the stove him? Because he's got a mean, ornary disposition. Oh. His own life has to upset me. He either burns too hard or he won't burn at all. When I put kindling in, he eats up the kindling and then he goes out. When I put things to cook on top of him, he burns them or makes them boil over or doesn't cook them at all. He's a monster and I hate loathing despite... Did you hear that? He even talks back to me. And he's doing his best to break up my marriage. Break up your marriage? Of course he is. He knows the way to a man's heart. Oh, now, Betty, don't go turning into a woman on me. Are you crying? Smoking here. Hey, funny face, look at me. You cry. Your sense of humor will get all damp. And then will we be... I'm a failure as a plan. You're not a failure at all. You're doing a wonderful job. I am. Why the way you stained the floors yesterday and that window ledge you nailed in and the dinner we had last night. I've been thinking what a lucky fellow I am. It sure didn't show. I guess I've been too busy trying to get this place going. But, Betty, don't forget this. You're my whole life. You're the woman I'm telling the land for and redoing the house and raising the chickens for. Oh. When I come back to the house in the evening, it's your smile I'm herring towards. And when I leave it in the morning, I take the memory of your smile with me. Oh. Don't stop. And when I see you coming towards me... Say, am I interrupting anything? You certainly are. Go on, Bob. Say, how do you do? I'm your new neighbor and this is my wife. Glad to know what you missed. I thought maybe you were kissing her. When you come down, you've got them. Oh, sure we will. Yeah, we'll be glad to. We'll come down the first thing in the morning. Yeah, we sure will. The first thing in the morning. I knew when we was going to meet you. Well, it takes time to get moved in, Mrs. Kettle. You're doing all the work? Oh, my goodness. Now, we share the work. Isn't this house of mine the messiest you've ever seen in your born days? Well... Well, there's guns and chickens and pigs and livestock all in the same kitchen. Don't the animals get in the way? Years ago. Out to be neat. And either I'm eating with them or I have to get sloppy myself. Sloppy. Talking about it last night. Well, I just found out myself. You told your old man? No, not yet. I've been trying to think how to tell him. Well, got so many. This here is same. I'm very glad to meet you, Sam. How likewise. Go on now. Get that chicken out of there. How came more? I guess I'd better if someone here doesn't tell him before I get home. Until I catch my breath. I tried to tell you on the way home from the kettle but you kept talking and... it's really quite important. Well, tell me while I feed the chicken. No, I will not tell you why you feed the chickens. This is one thing I'm not going to share with the chickens. What do you mean? You could have anything in the world you wanted. What would you wish for? An incubator. Something more and more personal. Well, look, Betty, it's getting late and the chickens have to be fed. And I... Sam, I went to town yesterday and guess what I found out? The new shipload of chickens are here. No, not the new shipload of chickens. I went to see the doctor. Why, you sick? No. Well, then why'd you go to the doctor? You're not making this very easy for me, you know. Look, Betty, can't we talk later? It's past feeding time. Okay, go feed your old chickens. If you're more interested in your old chickens than you are in your baby, it's first... The son or a daughter. The most wonderful woman in the world. Oh, it's nothing. When I saw all those baby chicks, I knew darn well I wasn't going to let any hen get ahead of me. Think, Claudette Colbert. Next time a group of your friends are together, will you try this? Ask what name they think of in greeting cards when they want to send the very best. I'm sure you'll find as I have that they'll answer immediately hallmark cards. And I think there is an interesting reason. When you buy greeting cards, they are never for yourself. You buy them only to send to other people. That's why the words on every card are so important. And hallmark cards have a wonderful way of using words to carry thoughts and feelings to others. The makers of hallmark cards recognize the power of carefully chosen words. They know how a sincere message of encouragement can lighten sadness. How a friendly greeting can make a happy occasion happier still. How the right words can strengthen ties of affection. So for every occasion, there is a hallmark card to say just what you want to say. The way you want to say it. And the quality and beauty of the card itself will speak to others too. Reflect your own good taste. So it is easy to remember. It would be difficult to forget. You look for that hallmark on the back when you carry enough to send the very best. And now here is the second act of the egg and eyes starring Miss Claudette Colbert. Our romance was just beginning. I'll never forget those months we waited for the baby. Spring suddenly stopped by with a screech of breaks and all heck broke loose. We awoke one morning to a new Sears robot catalog, baby chickens, gozzling, piglets, puppies kitten, a heifer calf, and fruit trees snapping into bloom. And I had about as much chance to linger and appreciate the beauties of nature as I would have had riding a motorcycle through an art gallery. I can hear Bob's voice now. Hey, Betty! I'm down at the creek. Oh, what are you doing? I'm getting some buckets of water to wash the clothes. Well, I brought you up some water this morning. Bob, you can't do a week's wash with one bucket of water. Well, I brought two buckets of water. I squandered one. I used it to wash the breakfast dishes. Oh. When I think that at home all I had to do was turn a tap and press the water. It's always beyond belief. When I think of that bathtub I used to sit in every night with a water tap right within my reach. Oh, I could cry. Oh, that's because of the baby coming. You're not accountable. Here, let me carry those. Say, you didn't forget about the chickens this morning, did you? Oh, no, I didn't forget the chicks. Bless their little black hearts. At four this morning I started the kitchen fire, put the coffee on, went out to see if the baby chicks were all right. Then I put the ham on to cook for you and went out to the baby chicks with warm water. I came back, put your toast into the oven and went out to the baby chicks with mash. Then I set the breakfast table and then I went out to the baby chicks with chick food. And after that I opened a can of fruit and then I went out to the baby. Baby chicks take a lot of care. You don't say. Shall I put the water here on the step? Yeah, that'll be just peachy, creamy dandy. Isn't this a pretty day, Betty? Well, you stand there and admire it. I haven't got time. Oh, look at it, Betty. The land's coming to life all around you. I tell you, there's nothing in the world more exciting. Yes, there is. What? Plumbing. Oh, we'll get plumbing in a year or two. I should live so long. You'd better. Oh, Betty, all kidding aside, you do like living in the country, don't you? Sure. Who wants silly things like plumbing and electricity when you can have the horse fly in the mosquito and thousands of baby chickens for your very own? Well, say, I have to get out of the barn. I'll see you later, funny face. If I'm not here, have me page at the chicken coop. Stove, now what's eating you? All burned up about something again, are you? Well, you can go right up and smoke for all I... What are you doing in here by the stove? What's your name? Oh, you won't talk, huh? I don't allow wild animals by my stove. Go on now. Shoo! Check the baby nun. Well, how could it? Maybe it looked like... It might look like a skunk. Chase him home, will you, Bob? You're here, Mr. Kettle. Now, I'm warning you. If your cows don't stay off our place, I'll take the car and chase them so far into the hill they'll never come home. Why don't you shoot the beast? I know the... The boys! You're not taking me in like that anymore. I helped you with your planting while you sat on the front porch. I helped you fix your water towel while you went to sleep. I helped you fix your barn. So was I. Oh, sure, sure, they mean well. But one of these days, they're going to cause a terrible catastrophe up here. Why? What kind of a catastrophe? I don't know, but they'll think of something they can't miss. Betty? Betty, where are you? Oh, what are you doing out of bed at this hour? I couldn't sleep. Was anything wrong? No. Let me sit down here beside you. Mm, nice night. Mm, it's beautiful. The country's so dry, though. I wish it wouldn't rain. I wish it would rain. Oh, yes, so do I. Bob, just think, in a few more weeks, the baby will be here with us. Gee, doesn't seem possible. What do you want? A boy or a girl? It doesn't matter. A girl, I guess. But it looked just like you. I'd like a girl. But it'd be fun to have a little girl tagging around the kitchen and growing up and having lots of bows. Oh, and she sure will have lots of bows if she looks like you. Oh, Bob. Look, toward the kettle's that light. What's a fire? I'll get the truck and go right down. I'll go with you. Oh, no. This is one time you're staying right here. If you've ever lived in the mountains during a fire, you'll never forget the terror of it. The frightened whimpering of the animals. The crackling of burning brush. The roar of a tree crashing. The smell of smoke in your nostrils. The taste of it on your tongue. The sting of it in your eyes. The blood-red light in the sky. The answer to your prayers. Would it have gotten a fire out? Bob. Bob. Betty. I think you'd better take me to the hospital. She recognizes me. Why shouldn't she? Telling hard things on the ranch. Oh, everything's fine. The calf? She couldn't be better. She was asking for you just this morning. Oh, Bob, you were there. And so were the chickens. You never heard such a clatter of questions as I got when I went into that chicken coop. Oh, it'll be good to get home again. Would you mind repeating that? I said it would be good to get home again. Betty, I was so afraid. Darling, do you really like living in the country? Like it. I'm going to write a book about it. You are? I certainly am. I'm going to call it The Egg and I. Recently, a friend told me she had forgotten a very important date. The anniversary of some dear friends. She said she was never so embarrassed. She was busy, you know how it is, and it just slipped her mind. But that won't happen in the future, she promises, because now she has a wonderful new hallmark date book. It's not very big, just the right size to slip into your pocket or handbag. But it's just about the biggest help to friendliness you ever saw. For it reminds you of all those occasions when a word from you will mean so much. On birthdays, anniversaries, holidays. And there's space to note everything you want to remember. Social engagements, supportments for children, names and addresses of new friends. Yes, like the friendly store where you buy all your hallmark cards, your hallmark date book serves you faithfully all year round. Ask for your hallmark date book tomorrow. It's your gift from the fine store where you buy your hallmark cards. Here again is James Hilton. Miss Claudette Colbert, you've certainly given us a grand start on our new year with your charming portrayal of Betty this evening. Well, thanks for inviting me, Mr. Hilton. And I'd like to express my appreciation to Frank Nelson for his portrayal of Bob. It was really a pleasure to be with all of you on the hallmark playhouse. Thank you, Miss Colbert, and I hope our 1950 hallmark date book will be a help to you in remembering all the anniversaries, birthdays and other occasions of the coming year. And, of course, too, with our hallmark date book, you'll be reminded of just when to select your hallmark cards. I'll add that to my new year resolutions, Frank. Mr. Hilton, what's your story for next week? Next week, Miss Colbert, we will have a great adventure story of the way west by A.B. Guthrie, which was the October Book of the Month selection and promises to provide a very entertaining evening. Starring in this story, we will have Joel McCrae, that fine Hollywood actor. Our hallmark playhouse is every Thursday. Our director-producer is Bill Gay. Our music is composed and conducted by Lynn Murray, and our script tonight was adapted by Gene Holloway. Until next Thursday then, this is James Hilton saying good night. Look for hallmark cards that are sold only in stores that have been carefully selected to give you expert and friendly service. Remember hallmark cards when you carry enough to send the very best. Clotted Colbert can currently be seen in the Archaeo radio release, Bride for Sale. This is Frank Goss saying good night to you all until next week at the same time when James Hilton returns to present Joel McCrae in A.B. Guthrie's The Way West. And the week following, Jules Burns Around the World in 80 Days starring Ronald Coleman on the hallmark playhouse. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. DC, Kansas City, Missouri. State Hume for Earl Smith with the news following.