 Hey guys, welcome to part three of learning from Anthony de Mello and So far we've looked at a few of his big ideas number one Your life isn't a mess number two. You don't want to be happy so maybe check out those videos if you haven't watched them already number three is very interesting and it's a big one for people doing inner work and You know grappling with all these issues these issues of attachments and choosing happiness and everything else Do I want to be happy all these questions? I think the thing he gets into next is he talks about all the nature of attachments and If you're asking me To give up all these things for happiness to sort of drop my desires for worldly things Are you telling me Anthony that I'm going to go around living like a zombie with no desires whatsoever? This is a huge huge point to realize in all of this stuff, right? What does it mean to have a desire should you go about sort of in a zombified state, you know not desiring anything what that make you a vegetable Well, what he talks about here are two types of desires The first is a desire and it's an attachment So it's if you can't live without that thing or losing that thing will cost you your peace of mind The second is still a desire But it's a desire upon which my happiness does not depend Those are the desires that we want to experience in life Okay, so it's never ever About giving up or living like a zombie if you're in spirituality Maybe you're doing meditation you feel zened out some of the time. You're not aiming for a state of Mindlessness in a sense you still are in the world. You're still going after things You're still being productive. You're still doing all the things that normal people do Right. You don't become strange or weird when you're doing any of these things But you're trying to shift away from having an attachment to something to having a desire upon which my happiness does not depend So that's a big big issue now. It might sound simple, but you would not believe the amount of people Doing inner work or doing, you know, they might read spiritual books and things and they have a sense of Guilt about having a desire for something All right, be that a relationship be that more money Be that you name it anything at all like house a car whatever have kids anything, right? I desire these things. Oh, I need to drop my desire. No, you don't need to drop your desire at all Right. All you need to do is to say, okay start living life as it presents itself I'm being glad for things when they come and be open to having new things and Welcome new things. It wouldn't that be nice if I got a new job Wouldn't that be nice if I got into a new relationship? And if those things materialize, then you're like a well brilliant fantastic but if they don't By doing the inner work, you're not going to crumble, right? You're not going to buy into this mentality of this false belief that Well, now I can't be happy How many times have you spoke to someone in your life? Maybe they've gone through a breakup or something like that and they're convinced That they can never be happy again because it's gone. That's an attachment. Okay, but yet, you know our whole lives we lose things that were convinced we can't live without and Sure enough as time passes we do live without them and we we were fine Okay, we're perfectly safe and happy and content Think of the things you wanted when you were a child and someone took away from you a very emotionally upsetting now If we gave you Anthony talks about this He says if we were to give you one of those things today, you wouldn't even look at it. You wouldn't even want it. So That's kind of we what we want to get into this thing of open to receiving but not demanding things Because if we have there's the desires upon which my happiness does not depend and there's an attachment and an attachment that is a desire But it's the opposite of love right an attachment is the opposite of love because it's a need for that thing Maybe that relationship or something And if we have that need there We become very insecure and controlling about it, which is the opposite of love It's it's more of a hateful thing right it because we it makes us hate ourselves and Try to manipulate and control external situations or people So that's my third video on the late great Anthony D'Amello again Consider watching his longer videos on YouTube. They're really really great. He was an amazing speaker and I'm going to talk about maybe another video on Anthony I hope you're enjoying these if you are Consider subscribing to my channel. Maybe like the video all those things help me get these videos out there to other people and Also guys, I'm going to mention if you would like to work with me one-to-one online You can contact me Click on the the link it the link is below as well and you can just Very easily send me a message and I'll get back to you to see About a free consultation To see if we're a good match and to see if I can can help you in your issue. I'm a licensed psychologist and therapist so With that said guys, thank you so much again for watching and I will see you in the next video all the best