 and welcome back to physical therapy for a better life. I'm your host, Christine Lenders, physical therapist and board certified orthopedic clinical specialist. Are you spending so much time pleasing others and doing for others that you're neglecting taking care of the most important person? You. In order to be of use to others and help others, your cup needs to be full. It needs to be full of love, energy, compassion, and purpose. Today, I'd like to welcome back wellness practitioner and licensed massage therapist Letitia Sharp to guide us on our journey to reconnecting with our true authentic selves so we can be more present in our lives, feel more fulfilled in our jobs, and experience more love in our relationships. Welcome, Tish. And thank you for coming back. Thank you, Christine. Thanks so much for having me. I'm excited about our conversation today. This is amazing. And so, like, I want to ask right away, what is home? What does that mean to you? Like, that's a big question, right? Because home can be something physical. It can be our house. And I know so many times I've taught I have a little one and I've taught her that home isn't necessarily where you are. It's how you are. And it's how you find a place in your own keynote and your own heart and your own being and being comfortable there. So I really feel like home is what's the old adage and like homes where the heart is, homes where you lay your head. And really all that means I think is that it's where you are. And if you can feel comfortable wherever you are, then that's home. I think that's amazing. And I just reached on my table. I have these little heart, coral heart that I found. And I love that it's a different shape. And I got one of these little thermaline hearts saying the wrong word. Turquoise. Thank you. Thank you. Turquoise hearts. And that is so true. Our heart, the center of our being is where home is. And I've heard from so many patients and so many friends during the pandemic on how they feel like they're, you know, not really running on a hamster wheel, but for lack of a better word, they just feel like they're just, they're just racing around and they're lost and they don't know how to find that contentment now that we've shifted and we're shifting back and where is home? Where is your heart? And I love this idea of home is where your heart is. Your true self, the, the person that you are inside, like, what do they say? Who are you when you're by yourself at home with the door shut and no one's around? That's you. And so the world wants to, I'm giving myself group ones, the world wants to see you. And this is a lesson for me too. That person, we want to see you in the world. And how do you find that if you've gotten on a different path of doing stuff for others always, I'm guilty of it, and neglecting to put yourself, make yourself a priority. So the last time we talked, we talked a lot about different tools and mindfulness. And it really feels to me like there's all of these tools available to us to be able to really do that, find our, our self, find out who we are, who are we and how do we get that and live that actually and every day without being embarrassed, without being scared, without falling into fear. And so what are the tools, right? Meditation we've talked about, sound medicine we've talked about, it could be a massage, it could be athletic, it could be gardening, it could be creating a meal, it could be any of those things are the right answer. There is no right answer if you truly are feeling that your heart's open. So I'm going to go back to exactly what we talked about last time that we met and it was find out what makes you feel alive, what's your passion, what makes your heart sing and do it, do it, just do that and continue doing that. And the people and the places and the things that are going to resonate with that energy, they'll come to meet you there. They will meet you there. That frequency will find like frequency. And yeah, so I guess that's it in a nutshell. Okay, show's over. Yeah, you just dropped the drop the heart on finding home. No, that's so true. That is so true. I know that anytime I've spent time with you or some of our friends have gone to things, little events with you, it's always just like, oh, I feel home and it's about making time for you and I have been making time for me the past probably this whole year more than normal. Not I love beach volleyball and I love to play beach volleyball, but I've actually haven't played in several weeks because I was making time for me to do kind of what I wanted not on a schedule because all week long, I'm very scheduled. And so on the weekends, I would love to play beach volleyball makes my heart sing. But I just said, you know what, I'm going to just take care of some me things like I want to wake up, what do I want to do today? Not what did I schedule today? And I think that what you're saying is find what you love and do is find what you love and do and the more you do what you love and the more you put that out there, those people that are on that vibration that are loving that surround themselves with you and then your cup starts to fill and honestly, it's kind of amazing how I felt the past couple weeks, I made a comment to someone the other day, I feel so good. Right now and so inspired I was driving to work that I don't know why and I do attribute it to me letting me fill my cup by not being scheduled so I can have the availability to do the things that I love and doing the mindfulness. I've been doing it so regularly and so almost I hate to use this word obsessively, but just regularly consistently is the better word. And I even found one this morning I went to the beach, I did a run in the rain and I listened to a meditation that popped up for me and I didn't even listen to it before. It said the title today is going to be the best day ever. And it was the most amazing like 11 minute meditation I've ever heard. So back to mindfulness to find home start doing some mindfulness meditations if it's like you said walks and green space friends I mean I love what you said. No I think it really it brings up a couple of points to me what you're saying is first of all you are already in the space of inviting this amazingness this high energy the high frequency and then the it even shows that it can come up in technology right okay boom so they talk about algorithms right well it's you we all have our own algorithms right so that's what that was it was okay the universe stepped up and said oh you think today is going to be an amazing day guess what it's the best amazing day ever and listen to this somebody else knows about that right yeah and um it's easy for you and I to have this conversation because we're in the practice of it right we're in the practice of doing that we're in the practice of constantly being aware of finding our home finding where our heart is and I think it is really it's a big conversation for us to bring up how do you get there though like it's practice you know and it's not just doing the meditation it's not it's not just being mindful it's what are the actual physical things that we can do to get us there right how do we talk for ourselves differently inside of our heads I remember when I was actually I think it was 24 or something I'm sure it had been a longer uh experience that I had done it just when I realized it at 24 was people would be like oh you're so sweet or oh you're so nice and inside of my head I mean I was saying yeah if you only knew me like if you only knew the truth right so that's how I would talk to myself I have to retrain myself to be like you know what I am sweet I am kind of nice you know I am to actually own that and that's part of it that's part of finding that home um I was recently just at a retreat on the big island and how was it it was really powerful it was a really profound experience and it was with Keoni with fern medicine and fern medicine is a medicine of the emotions so it helps you heal your emotions and that was a big conversation that's kind of what I feel like we all came out of that weekend with um all 50 of us is knowing that we always have a phone a home and a phone home but we do we always have a home as long as we keep coming back to our heart and um sometimes we can have everything on the outside that we need to be able to think that we should feel at home and we still don't feel it you know and why is that it's because of that self talk it's because maybe we haven't trained enough it's because of that self love that we just haven't gotten a full grasp on and haven't connected to that higher love that high heart that is that universal love that everybody talks about so here we are at this retreat and I've got my mom and my daughter with me so I've got my family two of my closest people in my family with me and I've coincidentally haha have three of my best friends with me and then come to find out there's another half dozen people that I work with and that love me and respect me and hold me in high regard and share with me so I have all of this external support right and to hear me talk and to look at me right now it's like oh she's brought it together she's she's confident she's secure so I put on my crystals and I get ready and I've got you know there's a color theme and I've got my favorite color scarf for the theme and I'm all dressed and I smell good and I feel good and I go and I'm standing next to my mom and I'm like oh gosh maybe I shouldn't wear this crystal maybe I should and I start that's where it came in right that's where that spot comes in where I started drifting away from home and my mom looks at me and she scold me but she said leticia you put that on because it felt good and you wore that because that's what you wanted to wear stand in it be in it just stop and go and be you you're amazing and I was just like oh thank you you know she brought me back home she brought me back to my hu u vai she brought me back to my home she brought me back to my heart back to my body back to my soul and thank god because you know and I was really lucky there are other people that expressed later in the retreat on the last day that you know they thought they had those same feelings I never would have guessed that they had those feelings because they were just so strong in their convictions and and how they moved themselves through the weekend was just so beautiful that I never would have guessed that they had doubts or insecurities but we all do and we all deserve to have support we all deserve to be at home in our self that was really long went it but it was I was beautiful I looked up because I had chills everywhere when you said that I was like oh my gosh your mom when she said that that's that's the I'm getting him again that's the guide right there to finding home is being yourself expressing yourself and being able to develop that self love whether it's your best friend or your mom or anyone that tells you hey that's you you put that because you wanted to wear it now go be you like you do you that's kind of what people say all the time and I think the message the message that I hear of in that brilliant brilliant excerpt that you just gave was you need to work on your self-talk and we're all so guilty about oh I'm late oh I didn't get myself out again or oh shoot I forgot to do this and and those little criticisms that we make of ourselves they they add up to us not feeling confident no matter how we look on the outside not feeling full of love and love to give and love to receive and so the awareness that I want everyone to have today is to start listening to that inner voice and when you start to criticize yourself think about it for a second okay so I'm running late again what can I do to do better okay like I'm gonna leave 10 minutes early and I'm gonna love myself for making that positive change because I'm aware or next time you criticize yourself about how you look say you know what I feel good in this outfit I'm the one that I want to look good for so let me dress to please me not dress to please others and I think every step that we take the language that we use towards ourselves that we don't use that language towards others we shouldn't use it to ourselves we need some of us you know I want people I want myself I'm loving this journey I of finding myself and you helping everyone find their selves and their heart to have their best life and their best day ever so I think that that was a good point and a lot of times therapists or guides have said this and there's meditations about it it's about talking to you know to your your young self and talking to that inner child is how it's coined right so how would you talk to a three-year-old how would you talk to a seven-year-old a 10-year-old a 16-year-old who's going through all of the changes and the excitement and the everything like would you speak to yourself with the same kindness would you speak to yourself with the same non-judgment with the same curiosity and if you wouldn't I mean I even just had somebody today say you know I just I would like you to be kind with yourself about that and I'm like you know what I I really feel like I am being kind with myself and I'm not judging myself but I am reflecting and I am recognizing what my part was in that situation and I'm being kind with myself I am finding grace and then you talk about also the being late like okay so nothing for me and uh if I'm late I just need to be kind with myself you know what urgency is going to take me out of that grace faster than anything and that's another thing that I just made the connection um with thanks to a group of phenomenal humans by pretty good a high level um is that and so when I feel myself getting urgent and like oh oh I'm late this has to happen and all those feelings I see myself and I feel myself just slipping out of grace and I don't feel good operating in that space so if I can allow myself to move with purpose rather than urgency okay I'm moving with purpose then everything just sort of starts to click and starts to fall into place and that's that divine grace that we're all looking for is defined and so you just allow that love to come in instead of and help you with your purpose in your movement through your daily life so yeah you you said that to me the other day and when you said it I was just amazed again because you were talking about two things grace and was it creativity innovation grace and innovation and those two words spoke so strongly to me the other day and you said that and I wrote it down actually because you said when there's urgency it takes you out of grace and when there's something it takes you out of innovation perfectionism perfectionism and I get hard on myself with those two things and I didn't even tell you that and those were the two words you said when I walked in to see you the other day and I couldn't believe it you know what I left with such grace and I have carried it through this week and urgency and grace perfectionism and innovation and I love you and I both love to innovate but we have to have grace and give ourselves rooms to innovate without being perfectionists and criticizing every little thing that's not what we deem to be perfect because it is perfect because it is our creation and grace everyone hear that word and Pookie's a pure version of her authentic self because she's been meowing I apologize this whole entire show you know she got what she wanted so there is a beautiful person Ivalani that made that connection and it resonated so deeply with me that I can now share it and help people all of the people that I know be able to make that connection too because it's freedom right isn't that freedom like if you know the cure so like what she says is or what the connection that she made that I'm sharing with you is that the cure for perfectionism is grace if you've just had a little bit of grace with yourself to make a mistake or to not be perfect that's the cure for perfectionism and what is the cure for urgency take that urgency channel it make it be creative you know use that and find innovation find that and and through that you can have this endless flow this infinity as above so below all of the faith you know that physical part the spiritual part the heavens and the earth all mixing together as one so it's it is really really powerful that's great so if if I'm watching this show for the first time and listening to us talk about all these things and finding home and our authentic self and wanting to reap the rewards of more in our lives by giving or loving more in ourselves with mindfulness and doing what we love is there like a way like I'm watching the show and I'm like I don't know what to do I know I have to talk better to myself and I know I need to but what do I where do I start is there one place that you could give someone who is really like receiving this show but just still doesn't know what can I do right now this minute when the show ends to start finding my heart do you have something like that you asked all the tough questions I'm going to say the top of my head and out of the depth of my heart to just start the conversation start the conversation and through that you're going to find out who was your people who are your people who can you talk to about these things who can you be yourself with and then once you find that and it's not going to be as Keone says pretty necessarily it's gonna get messy guaranteed you know because that's that's what it's all about is making a cake for the first time with frosting clean and pristine now it's messy throw a three year old or a five year old in the kitchen with flour and eggs and batter and frosting and sugar it's not pretty but it's wonderful it's creative it's heartfelt it's joyous it's all of those things so open the conversation find who your tribe is don't um don't be discouraged and when the pain comes up when the emotional pain comes up see it as guidance see it as guidance and exposure is good exposure is the key to um yeah to finding that healed heart to finding home there and that's like a whole nother exposure yes to being able to I mean you found those hearts because your awareness your energy or all of that is is focused on that you know so it is true that's great guidance and I think on what you're saying what you focus on most like you said find your tribe you find what you love and those people come into your life what you focus on most manifests in your life and it can get ugly because you're unraveling the deepest layers of yourself but I know as I have asked myself questions how can I be more of this how can I find more of this I have been getting people come into my life very randomly who are exactly aligned with the questions I asked myself that morning like how can I have more ideas on this how can I find a way to do this better and then three hours later a patient comes into my office that I'm seeing once because I've never seen her before she's somebody else's patient couldn't get in the schedule and our conversation is exactly the question that I asked myself that morning so any of those things ask yourself good questions ask yourself what you want and it could be how can I be more myself it could be how can I lose weight and like still enjoy eating and not feeling guilty when I have that piece of cake how can I get myself to exercise for my health even though I actually don't like to do it and pretty soon you find yourselves with a friend who says oh gosh I hate exercising but I really need to do it because the doctors that I have to and now you're you're exercising but more you're having fun and and asking thoughtful thoughtful moment this joyful thoughtful joyful movement yeah or even how about this one right so oh how can I be more forgiving or how can I you know do some of it realize that those questions are great questions and they might you might attract somebody to you who's going to do something that you have to forgive that's true that's right so see everything as a blessing see it all as a blessing and just growth then wonderment and moving forward so it is true this is um this is a journey I think I said when I was talking the other day the the one of the things I like to say and you so do this is helping people on their journey to wholeness and health and I think that this life is a journey with everything we go through right from being at that that childlike the whole world is open to having experiences that are negative or harmful or injurious to you your heart and then becoming an adult and going through these ups and downs and this journey to keeping home because life is that journey for all of us to find wholeness and health and this is what you are doing for us right now and for myself and people do it for me it's really just a matter of us all being in this together and definitely just finding finding our tribe opening the conversation it's a beautiful conversation I think that's been a gift of COVID is that there's more conversations about this we all became just a little more aware right yeah we did so we need to wrap it up is there anything to close that you would like to share with us I think just that let's open our hearts to conversation to finding people that resonate with us you know and that's going to be different for each one of us because we're all uniquely different and fabulous and fantastical amen to that yeah thank you so much tish for coming on to help us on our journey and to think tech hawaii for allowing us to be here today as always life is better is when you listen to your physical therapist and your wellness practitioner aloha everyone thank you so much for watching think tech hawaii if you like what we do please like us and click the subscribe button on youtube and the follow button on vimeo you can also follow us on facebook instagram twitter and linkedin and donate to us at think.kawaii.com mahalo