 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous caressable hair bring you our miss brook starring Eve Arden Another comedy episode of our miss Brooks under the direction of Al Lewis Well, there's no doubt about it The hopped up jalopy has replaced the tandem bicycle in most of our high schools and occasionally Wreckless driving poses a problem to the faculty our miss brooks who teaches English at Madison High Became acquainted with this problem last week It was on Tuesday to be exact and I became intimately acquainted with the problem as I was crossing the street a Wild-eyed kid bore down on me and something that looked like a torpedo with four wheels and a raccoon tail If I hadn't been wearing my gym shoes, I would now be welded to the grill of a model A Breakfast Wednesday morning. I discovered that mrs. Davis my landlady was concerned about this problem, too I tell you Connie. It's getting so dangerous that the body doesn't want to walk in the street anymore Not if it has a head on it, it doesn't Or traffic cops have their hands full. Well, the police can't correct this recklessness by themselves We've got to do something about it in our schools Say, how do you like this for an idea? Wonderful Connie. It's just put this town But I haven't told it to you yet. Oh, I'm so sorry. I've been seeing a lot of my sister Angela lately She's so absent-minded poor dear Yes, I know mrs. Davis, but please listen to this I'm going to suggest to mr. Conklin that we form our own student police force It would be made up of students who drive their own cars And they'd have the power to arrest anyone who violated traffic laws that sounds good It's just like self-government, isn't it? It's more like self-preservation Another thing you should do is to start a class in driving at Madison you might have something there mrs. Davis You know Clay City High has a driving class I know it and their principal Jason Brill is mr. Conklin's arch rival Why he even donated his own car for the class. I remember reading about it Mr. Conklin should certainly go for my ideas if only to show he's as progressive-minded as mr. Brill Oh, that's Walter Denton. He's driving me down to school. I'll just be a minute Walter See you tonight mrs. Davis. All right Connie now Don't forget to tell mr. Conklin your ideas about the student police force and the driving class I won't and remember our safety motto. Which one is that? Which one is what? Our safety motto. Oh, that's a dandy one Yes, it should catch on in no time. Well, goodbye again, mrs. Davis. Yes indeed morning to you. Oh, first of the faculty Let's see. Oh, yes, you've got jam on your face instead of peanut butter I don't mean about me. I mean about my car. I take a good look well for heaven's sake. Who stole your fenders? And what are those outlandish pipes sticking out for? I know you're not very mechanical minded miss Brooks. So I'll make it very simple Stretched not grass and I hopped it up an auto shop at school. You see first of all we dropped the chassis springs We put in a lightweight camshaft two wind field downdraft pots and a four-port rally super speed high compression head Do you follow? Not quite What did you say after you said I'll make it very simple And I'll show you how this heap of heavenly hot iron can dig out Comfy miss Brooks snug as a bug in the engine room of a destroyer My legs are sort of tangled up with these pipes and valves But what's this strange thing sticking out of the engine that looks like a thermos jug? It's a thermos jug I strapped my lunch to the engine because mother likes me to have a hot meal these days Well, nothing like a nice bologna and battery acid sandwich Let's get started walter hang on miss Brooks. I'll turn her over Connie Brooks to control tower Connie Brooks to control tower We're taking off for the next airport Over and out and across the river and into the trees seconds See miss Brooks you look a little nothing's wrong What color do you get when you hold your breath for four minutes and nine Mr. Conklin just got out of his car up ahead. I better park somewhere else See you about your driving later on young man right now. I've got something to take up with our beloved principal Okay, miss Brooks. See you. I speak with you for a moment You'll have to wait until I look over this rear fender of mine miss Brooks My dear wife used the car yesterday and backed it out at the garage in her customary side saddle manner The women driver can't it'll cost me ten dollars to have that fender straightened out Oh, not necessarily. Mr. Conklin You could put it into the school shop and the boys will be happy to fix it for nothing Just what I was thinking the boys in the school shop will be happy to fix it for nothing Now what is it you wanted to talk to me about the reckless driving among our teenage citizens The local police force just can't cope with it alone Now what I had in mind was a student police force with authority to discipline themselves A student police force? But whoever heard of such a thing it's preposterous No, it isn't Mr. Conklin The kids would be ashamed to be caught driving recklessly by their own friends And in conjunction with the police force. I think we should have a driving class at Madison You mean you are actually proposing that we teach our students to drive an automobile during the regular school hours? Those who need it. Yes. We could oh look who just got to school It's mr. Boynton, isn't it? But he's behind you. How could you tell? By the way your eyeballs spun around in their socket I always do that when I get something in my eye, especially him Good morning, miss Brooks. Mr. Conklin. Hello Boynton, sir There's something I want to suggest to you in in a moment Boynton first I'd like you to listen to an idea. I just had yes, sir What would you think of our instituting in this school a student police force? A student police force exactly one with authority to discipline each and every offender among the student body Say that sounds like a fine idea. You really like it. I love it. I hate it I mean that was only part of it. Please miss Brooks, please I could hear what mr. Boynton has to say to me Well, sir, it was just that I read where Jason Brill over at Clay City has organized a driving class for the students I think we should follow suit. Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed A driving class. Now, that's what I call a sterling suggestion an extremely original thought Boynton It is with a great deal of pleasure therefore that I hereby appoint you Madison's driving instructor You will give your first lesson at two o'clock today. Oh, but mr. Conklin, I can't give any lessons today I've got two full of schedule besides this isn't a job for just one person from what I've read of other schools It's usually operated by a team of teachers. Oh, I see. Well, who else should we get? Well, how about miss Brooks here? miss Brooks Boynton are you suggesting that we have a woman teach our already reckless drivers how to operate a motor vehicle in safety? Isn't that like carrying coals to new castles? I don't mind. I'll wear gloves I've driven with miss Brooks many times, sir, and I can assure you she's extremely competent behind the wheel I suppose there's nothing else we can do so against my better judgment I hereby appoint you one of the instructors miss Brooks. Oh, you won't be sorry, mr. Conklin I'll make you glad you picked me. You'll see I'll do a great job with these kids. I'll get them right in line. Yes, sir Step back miss Brooks. You're fogging my glasses Yes, mr. Conklin now for the head student traffic officer, I'd like to submit the name of walter dentin walter dentin But I've seen that idiot drive To propose walter dentin as a police officer is devoid of any spark of intelligence miss Brooks But you're wrong, mr. Conklin Don't you see this is a perfect example of criminal psychology by making the worst offender a law enforcement agent He is automatically eliminated as a reckless driver. Well, that does seem to be a pretty logical argument, sir Uh, wait, wait a minute both of you while you were talking. I was thinking Why don't we appoint as head of the student police force somebody like walter dentin? That idiot driver Don't you get it by making the worst offender a law enforcement agent He is automatically eliminated as a reckless driver Mr. Conklin, that's a stroke of sheer genius. Let me shake your hand, sir Here Well, miss Brooks, do you care to add anything to my little plan? Yes, sir. I would but there's one thing that prevents me Oh, what's that? I can't seem to get my words out of your mouth Brush your teeth with cold gates cold gate dental cream It cleans your breath water toothpaste water clean your teeth cold gate toothpaste Clean your breath water toothpaste water clean your teeth Cold gate dental cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth and the cold gateway Stops tooth decay best more than two years research showed the cold gateway of brushing teeth right after eating Help stop more decay for more people than ever before reported in data for his history Yes, the cold gateway stopped tooth decay best better than any other home method of oral hygiene No other dentopress amniated or not has proof of such results And you should know that cold gates while not mentioned by name was the one and only toothpaste Used in the research on tooth decay recently reported in readers digest So always follow the cold gateway to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and stop tooth decay best Brush your teeth with cold gates cold gate dental cream it cleans your breath water toothpaste While it cleans your teeth And the cold gateway stops tooth decay best Well right after lunch period mr. Boynton had to go down to the biology supply house I wanted him to stay and help me with the driving lessons But he said he couldn't afford to miss a great opportunity It seems the supply house had just received a rare shipment by airmail As I recall they were either english angler worms or anglish engler worms In any event I had to stop in mr. Conklin's office for further instructions Well miss brooks as faculty advisor to the new student police force You'll be pleased to know that mr. Stone the head of the board of education is 100 behind my plan Good He had one suggestion more over which I believe to be sound The force will function as a policing agency for both students and faculty If a teacher is caught violating a traffic law in this area He or she will be punished accordingly That sounds fair But thank you Now I have before me a list of possible penalties for the guilty ones As you know we can't find the students and it would be inequitable to impose cash fines upon the teachers Inequitable and uncollectible Quite So for the first offender I have decided that the penalty will be mowing the lawn every day for a month And cleaning all the windows All the windows in the school I know all the windows in my house This is a school project the board would never stand for anybody doing your personal work warden. I mean mr. Conklin On second thought nothing succeeds like good old kp Yes, that's it when we really want to make an example of someone we'll do what we did in the army We'll hustle him up to the cafeteria Hand him a mop and say get with it matilda make those floors shy What branch of the wax were you in? Now about the driving class mr. Conklin, there's one minor detail we've overlooked. What's that miss bro We don't have an automobile. It'll take quite a bit of time for the board to provide a vehicle for us Well borrow one temporarily. All right. I will Mr. Conklin may I borrow your car for the driving lesson today? My car you must be joking You don't think I'd entrust my automobile to a gang of scatterbrained bumbling jitterbugs. Do you but sir jason brill donated his car to clay city high Jason brill. Yes, sir. And every paper in the city ran his picture and a nice story about him The silver one on the end is the ignition key Talk to you who wants to talk to me Don't let the black turtle neck sweater in the pilot's goggles fool you It's me walter. Well for goodness sake. What are you dressed up like that for walter going to a maxirade? I've just been commissioned captain of the madison high safety patrol. No kidding. When do you go overseas? I don't it's a local office. I'm head of the student police force You see I just got my orders from the board of education Mr. Stone himself told me to be sure and make an example out of any traffic violators That includes teachers too. You're fooling. It's a big responsibility stretch You know something walter. I can see a change in you already You can sure you got jam on your face instead of peanut butter Sometimes I wonder how we got to be such good friends Look who's coming walter. It's miss brooks. Oh, she hasn't seen me since I put this black outfit on I'll slip the goggles over my eyes and see if she recognizes me. Okay. I am miss brooks. Look who's here recognize them I'd know him anywhere baron von richthofen No, ma'am. It's me walter dentin. Now. This is the outfit. I'm gonna wear for tracking down traffic criminals Well, I've got to get ready to go on patrol miss brooks. Uh, will you excuse me? Of course baron a walter See you later captain dentin at ease my man. Well, see you at the lineup miss brooks. I'm looking forward to it Well stretch. Mr. Conklin sent his car over here to be repaired. Could you tell me where it is? Well, it's right there. That's the one I just finished working on you. Yes, ma'am I straightened out a fender for him. It's as good as new now. Oh, fine Also, I had an extra hour to kill in the shop So I went under the hood and fixed up mr. Conklin's clutch Retimed his distributor and checked his ignition system But I've got to give a lesson in that car Well, don't worry about that miss brooks. What I've done couldn't make too much difference Not when I had to work in the dark like I did In the dark the bulb burned out in my work light. I did the whole job in total blackness But why didn't you put another bulb in the work light? My motto is don't tackle no new trouble till you conquer your old trouble I better tell you about a few simple changes I made in the mechanism I discovered them after I got the light fixed. I wish I knew more about self-hypnosis. Go on stretch Well, first of all to let out the clutch use the brake pedal instead That's a pretty simple change. All I have to do is put my right shoe on my left foot Please continue Well, I jazzed up the motor so it can really dig out only use a hand throttle the gas pedal now acts as the brake It's reversed in the glove compartment No, ma'am. I eliminated reverse And also first and second and I fixed the ignition so you have to turn it on from under the hood that way nobody can steal the car Who'd want it? Stretch before I take this flying saucer out of here. Are you quite certain? I won't have to steer from the back seat Gosh, no miss brooks. That'd be dangerous Stretch remind me to mark your next test paper with an empty fountain pen We've completed our basic blackboard work on courtesy of the road And now we're going to have a practical demonstration out here on the street Harriet conklin. I believe your hand was up first. Yes, miss brooks. I'm very anxious to learn how to drive Of course, I don't know how daddy will feel about it. It shouldn't take long to find out He's standing right at your elbow How observant What is all this Harriet? I've wanted to learn for a long time daddy Mother says she thinks I should. Oh, she does Well, won't that be bully for me? Mine will be the only car in town being driven by two fender assassins Please daddy, I'll be very careful and miss brooks is here to teach me exactly I refuse to place my own flesh and blood in jeopardy But mr. Conklin Harriet has just as much right to take advantage of this class as any of the other kids You said yourself daddy that this school is run on democratic principles. Please let me learn. Oh, all right But you're not going to learn from miss brooks. I personally will give you your first lesson Get in Harriet, but daddy Well, miss brooks your precious miss brooks can climb in with us Now come on Maybe I can teach you to operate this vehicle and still eliminate some of the natural female driving instincts Before you start mr. Conklin the ignition is on but I think you should know please get in yes, sir Mr. Conklin, I'd like to explain something about the mechanism of this car. It's got a new kind You want to explain something to me about my own car? Now that is what I call rich Are you laughing at I guess I'm just a copycat I'm anxious to get the principles down pat when we get started. I know one principle you'll have down Ladies ladies stop the chattering. Please we're about to begin Now first Harriet to start the car. I press this little button on the dashboard firmly like this It didn't start no, but all the lights went on I'll try it again. There we are Now I'll just shift it into first gear What's this the clutch won't move Of course not you've got to step on the brake Step on the brake to start my car you depress that brake pedal Harriet. Let's surprise your daddy. Okay. Here goes What happens what happened? We're going 50 miles an hour and I haven't shifted into high First or second gear They'll dig us out of the upholstery Oh, this is awful. We're at the mercy of this steel monster. I've got to stop it I would if I were you just step on the gas pedal The gas pedal you just went through light of the street. Please sir jam your foot down on the gas pedal She's taken leave of her senses. We've got a maniac in the car with her Yes, yes. Yes, that's what I'll do. I'll turn off the motor but the ignition switch. Where's the ignition switch? That's up front under the hood I'll just step out and I'll walk up to the under the hood Stop this juggernaut. I'll try to ease it over the sidewalk up ahead and bring it to stop against one of those hedges Oh, oh, here's a hedge that looks nice and bushy Brooks returns in just a moment, but first Luster cream tonight. Yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives you k-doom. It's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin Better than a soap better than a liquid luster cream is an anti cream shampoo Leaves hair three ways lovelier Pregnantly clean free of loose dandruff glistening with sheen Soft manageable even in hardest water luster cream lathers instantly So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair Tonight. Yes tonight. Try luster cream shampoo Dream girl dream Luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to a luster cream shampoo And now once again here is our miss Brooks Well as soon as we determined that no one was injured Harriet tried to console her father about the condition of his car The insurance company will take care of your car daddy. They may even get you a brand new one Oh, you're right at that Harriet say it could have been a lot worse, couldn't it? Turn your head slowly to the left mr. Conklin a lot. Stop in the name of the law That's what I call a timely command Why it's Walter Denton. So it is well you just keep your nose out of this dentin You will kindly refer to me as captain dentin You forget sir. I was commissioned by your superior officer Mr. Stone head of the board of education What but there's no reason for him to hear this And not unless you're a calcitrant Nice word captain dentin And may I borrow your pencil, please sir my pencil. Oh, yes. Yes, of course. Here you are captain We were just driving along at a normal rate of speed, but suddenly How do you spell psychopathic? Psychopathic PSY CHO PATHIC now you don't have to enter too specific a report about this Driving down main street like a psychopathic idiot What Look here dentin officer dentin, couldn't we talk this over walter walton my boy Son I'm sorry, mr. Conklin. It's extremely difficult for me in this instance, but I must be ruthless It is difficult for him. Mr. Conklin walter's naturally very rude. Here you are, sir Where where my glasses fell off when we stopped this booby trap like I hear I'll read it for you, mr. Conklin It says for offenses too offensive to mention Starting this evening the prisoner will serve 30 days on kp Kp me but I can I won't I would something must be done about this Well, don't sit there, mr. Brooks. Tell me what I can do Pick up your mop Matilda those floors must shine tonight Glamorous caressible hair and cold gait dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay Our miss brook starring eve arden is produced by larry burns written by al lewis with the music of wilbur hatch Mr. Boynton is played by jeff chandler. Mr. Conklin by gale gordon others in tonight's cast were jane morgan Dick crana gloria mcmillan and lannard smith You want a beauty soap for a beauty bath and your bath becomes a beauty bath when you change to proper cleansing with palm olive soap For bathing with this beauty soap brings you the full beautifying effects of palm olives mild and gentle lather Proved by doctors to bring most women lovely a complexions in just 14 days Bath size palm olive is designed to give you everything you need for all over beauty care Fragrance for daintiness Mileness for loveliness purity for gentleness big bath size for thriftiness So get big bath size palm olive so mild so pure so right for all of you If you like mysteries that are as full of chuckles as chills be sure to hear mr. And mrs. North every tuesday over this same network and don't miss the exciting and laughful adventures of these amateur detectives Hear mr. And mrs. North every tuesday night and be with us again next week at this same time for another comedy episode of our miss brooks bob laman speaking Stay tuned now for jack bandy. This is cbs