 section 10 of sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information, or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Sketches of the Fair Sex in All Parts of the World by Anonymous The Mild Magnanimity of Women A late eminent anatomist in a professional discourse on the female frame is said to have declared that it almost appeared an act of cruelty in nature to produce such a being as woman. This remark may indeed be the natural exclamation of refined sensibility in contemplating the various maladies to which a creature of such delicate organs is inevitably exposed. But if we take a more enlarged survey of human existence we shall be far from discovering any just reason to arraign the benevolence of its provident and gracious author. If the delicacy of woman must render her familiar with pain and sickness let us remember that her charms, her pleasures and her happiness arise also from the same attractive quality. She is a being, to use the forcible and elegant expression of a poet fine by defect and admirably weak. There is perhaps no charm by which she more effectively secures the tender admiration and the lasting love of the more hardy sex than her superior endurance, her mild and graceful submission to the common evils of life. Nor is this the sole advantage she derives from her gentle fortitude. It is the prerogative of this lovely virtue to lighten the pressure of all those incorrigible evils which it cheerfully endures. The frame of man may be compared to the sturdy oak which is often shattered by resisting the tempest. Woman is the pliant osier which in bending to the storm eludes its violence. The accurate observers of human nature will readily allow that patience is most eminently the characteristic of woman. To what a sublime and astonishing height this virtue has been carried by beings of the most delicate texture we have striking examples in the many female martyrs who were exposed in the first ages of Christianity to the most barbarous and lingering torture. Nor was it only from Christian zeal that woman derived the power of defying the utmost rigors of persecution with invincible fortitude. Saint Ambrose in his elaborate and pious treaties on this subject records the resolution of a fair disciple of Pythagoras who, being severely urged by a tyrant to reveal the secrets of her sex to convince him that no torments should reduce her to so unworthy a breach of her vow, bit her own tongassunder and darted it in the face of her oppressor. In consequence of those happy changes which have taken place in the world from the progress of purified religion the inexpressible spirit of the tender sex is no longer exposed to such inhuman trials. But if the earth is happily delivered from the demons of torture and superstition if beauty and innocence are no more in danger of being dragged to perish at the stake perhaps there are situations in female life that require as much patience and magnanimity as were formerly exerted in the fiery torments of the virgin martyr. It is more difficult to support an accumulation of minute infelicities than any single calamity of the most terrific magnitude. Female delicacy. The human race has little other culture than what it receives from nature the two sexes live together unconscious of almost any restraint on their words or on their actions the Greeks in the heroic ages as appears from the whole history of their conduct were totally unacquainted with delicacy the Romans in the infancy of their empire were the same Tacitus informs us that the ancient Germans had not separate beds for the two sexes but that they lay promiscuously on reeds or on heath spread along the walls of their houses this custom still prevails in Lapland among the peasants of Norway, Poland and Russia and it is not altogether obliterated in some parts of the Highlands of Scotland and Wales in Otahti to appear naked or in clothes the circumstances equally indifferent to both sexes nor does any word in their language nor any action to which they are prompted by nature seem more indelicate or reprehensible than another such are the effects of a total want of culture effects not very dissimilar are in France and Italy produced from a redundance of it though those are the polite countries in Europe women there set themselves above shame and despise delicacy it is left out of existence as a silly and unfashionable weakness but in China one of the politest countries in Asia and perhaps not even in this respect behind France or Italy the case is quite otherwise no human being can be more delicate than a Chinese woman in her dress in her behaviour and in her conversation and should she ever happen to be exposed in any unbecoming manner she feels with the greatest poignancy the awkwardness of her situation and if possible covers her face that she may not be known in the midst of so many discordant appearances the mind is perplexed and can hardly fix upon any cause to which female delicacy is to be ascribed if we attend however to the whole animal creation if we consider it attentively wherever it falls under our observation it will discover to us that in the female there is a greater degree of delicacy or coy reserve than in the male is not this a proof that through the wide extent of creation the seeds of delicacy are more liberally bestowed upon females than upon males in the remotest periods of which we have any historical account we find that the women had a delicacy to which the other sex were strangers Rebecca veiled herself when she first approached Isaac her future husband many of the fables of antiquity mark with the most distinguishing characters the force of female delicacy of this kind is the fable of Actaeon and Diana Actaeon, a famous hunter being in the woods with his hounds beating for game accidentally spied Diana and her nymphs bathing in a river prompted by curiosity he stole silently into a neighbouring thicket that he might have a nearer view of them the goddess discovering him was so affronted at his audacity and so much ashamed to have been seen naked that in revenge she immediately transformed him into a stag set his own hounds upon him and encouraged them to overtake and devour him besides this and other fables and historical anecdotes of antiquity their poets seldom exhibit a female character without adorning it with the graces of modesty and delicacy hence we may infer that these qualities have not been only essential to virtuous women in civilised countries but were also constantly praised and esteemed by men of sensibility and that delicacy is an innate principle in the female mind there are so many evils attending the loss of virtue in women and so greatly are the minds of that sex depraved when they have deviated from the path of rectitude that the general contamination of their morals may be considered as one of the greatest misfortunes that can befall a state as in time it destroys almost every public virtue of the men hence all wise legislators have strictly enforced upon the sex a particular purity of manners and not satisfied that they should abstain from vice only have required them even to shun every appearance of it such in some periods were the laws of the Romans and such were the effects of these laws that if ever female delicacy shone forth in a conspicuous manner it was perhaps among these people after they had worn off much of the barbarity of their first ages and before they became contaminated by the wealth and manners of the nations which they plundered and subjected then it was that we find many of their women surpassing in modesty almost everything related by fable and then it was that their ideas of delicacy were so highly refined that they could not even bear the secret consciousness of an involuntary crime and far less of having tacitly consented to it influence of female society the company of ladies has a very powerful influence on the sentiments and conduct of men women the fruitful source of half our joys and perhaps of more than half our sorrows given elegance to our manner and a relish to our pleasures they soothe our afflictions and soften our cares too much of their company will render as effeminate and infallibly stamp upon as many signatures of the female nature a rough and unpolished behaviour as well as slumberliness of person will certainly be the consequence of an almost constant exclusion from it by spending a reasonable portion of our time in the company of women and another in the company of our own sex we shall imbibe a proper share of the softness of the female and at the same time retain the firmness and constancy of the male as little social intercourse subsisted between the two sexes in the more early ages of antiquity we find the men less courteous and the women less engaging vivacity and cheerfulness seem hardly to have existed even the Babylonians who appear to have allowed their women more liberty than any of the ancients seem not to have lived with them in a friendly and familiar manner but as their intercourse with them was considerably greater than that of the neighbouring nations they acquired thereby a polish and refinement unknown to any of the people who surrounded them the manners of both sexes were softer and better calculated to please they likewise paid more attention to cleanliness and dress after the Greeks became famous for their knowledge of the arts and sciences their rudeness and barbarity were only softened a few degrees it is not therefore arts, sciences and learning but the company of the other sex that forms the manner and renders the man agreeable the Romans were for some time a community without anything to soften the ferocity of male nature the Sabine Virgins whom they had stolen appear to have infused into them the first ideas of politeness but it was many ages before this politeness banished the roughness of the warrior and assumed the refinement of the gentleman during the times of chivalry female influence was at the zenith of its glory and perfection it was the source of valour it gave birth to politeness it awakened pity it called forth benevolence it restricted the hand of oppression and meliorated the human heart I cannot approach my mistress said one till I have done some glorious deed to deserve her notice actions should be the messengers of the heart they are the homage due to beauty and they only should discover love Marsan, instructing a young knight how to behave so as to gain the favour of the fair has these remarkable words when your arm is raised if your lance failed draw your sword directly and let heaven and hell resound with the clash lifeless is the soul which beauty cannot animate and weak is the arm which cannot fight valiantly to defend it the Russians, Poles and even the Dutch pay less attention to their females than any of their neighbours and are by consequence less distinguished for the graces of their persons and the feelings of their hearts the lightness of their food and the celebrity of their air have been assigned as reasons for the vivacity and cheerfulness of the French and their fortitude in supporting their spirits through all the adverse circumstances of this world but the constant mixture of the young and old of the two sexes is no doubt one of the principal reasons why the cares and ills of life sit lighter on the shoulders of that fantastic people than on those of any other country in the world the French reckon an excursion dull and a party of pleasure without relish unless a mixture of both sexes join to compose it the French women do not even withdraw from the table after meals nor do the men discover that impatience to have them dismissed which they so often do in England it is alleged by those who have no relish for the conversation of the fair sex that their presence curbs the freedom of speech and restrains the jollity of mirth but if the conversation and the mirth are decent if the company are capable of relishing anything but wine the very reverse is the case ladies in general are not only more cheerful than gentlemen but more eager to promote mirth and good humour so powerful indeed are the company and conversation of the fair in diffusing happiness and hilarity that even the cloud which hangs on the thoughtful brow of an Englishman begins in the present age to brighten by his devoting to the ladies a larger share of time than was formally done by his ancestors though the influence of the sexes be reciprocal yet that of the ladies is certainly the greatest how often may one see a company of men who were disposed to be riotous checked at once into decency by the accidental entrance of an amiable woman while her good sense and obliging deportment charms them into at least a temporary conviction that there is nothing so delightful as female conversation in its best form were such conviction frequently repeated what might we not expect from it at last were virtue said an ancient philosopher to appear amongst men in a visible shape what vehement desires would she enkindle virtue exhibited without affectation by a lovely young person of improved understanding in gentle manners may be said to appear with the most alluring aspect surrounded by the graces it would be an easy matter to point out instances of the most evident reformation wrought on particular men by their having happily conceived a passion for virtuous women to form the manners of men various causes contribute but nothing perhaps so much as the turn of the women with whom they converse those who are most conversant with women of virtue and understanding will be always found the most amiable characters of the circumstances being supposed alike such society beyond everything else rubs off the corners that gives many of our sex an ungracious roughness it produces a polish more perfect and more pleasing than that which is received from a general commerce with the world this last is often specious but commonly superficial the other is the result of gentler feelings and more humanity the heart itself is moulded habits of undissembled courtesy are formed a certain flowing urbanity is acquired violent passions rash oaths coarse jests indelicate language of every kind are precluded and disrelished female society gives men a taste for cleanliness and elegance of person our ancestors who kept but little company with their women were not only slovenly in their dress but had their countenances disfigured with long beards by female influence however beards were in process of time mutilated down to mustaches as the gentleman found that the ladies had no great relish for mustaches which were the relics of a beard they cut and curled them into various fashions to render them more agreeable at last however finding such labour vain they gave them up all together but as those of the three learned professions were supposed to be endowed with or at least to stand in need of more wisdom than other people and as the longest beard had always been deemed to sprout from the wisest chin to supply this mark of distinction which they had lost they contrived to smother their heads in enormous quantities of frizzled hair that they might bear greater resemblance to an owl the birds sacred to wisdom and Minerva to female society it has been objected by the learned and studious that it enervates the mind and gives it such a turn for trifling levity and dissipation as renders it altogether unfit for that application which is necessary in order to become eminent in any of the sciences in proof of this they allege that the greatest philosophers seldom or never were men who enjoyed or were fit for the company or conversation of women Sir Isaac Newton hardly ever conversed with any of the sex Bacon, Boil, Dakar and many others conspicuous for their learning and application were but indifferent companions to the fair it is certain indeed that the youth who devotes his whole time and attention to female conversation and the little offices of gallantry never distinguishes himself in the literary world but notwithstanding this without the fatigue and application of severe study he often obtains by female interest that which is denied to the merited improvements acquired by the labour of many years End of section 10 section 11 of sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world by Anonymous monastic life Henry Bede has given us a very striking picture of monastic enormities in his epistle to Egbert from this we learn that many young men who had no title to the monastic profession got possession of monasteries where instead of engaging in the defence of their country as their age and rank required they indulged themselves in the most disillute indolence we learn from Dugdale that in the reign of Henry II the nuns of Amsbury Abbey in Wiltshire were expelled from that religious house on account of their incontinence and to exhibit in the most lively colours the total corruption of monastic chastity Bishop Burnett informs us in his history of the Reformation that when the nunneries were visited by the command of Henry VIII whole houses almost were found whose vows had been made in vain when we consider to what oppressive indolence to what a variety of wretchedness and guilt the young and fair inhabitants of the cloister were frequently betrayed we ought to admire those benevolent authors who when the tide of religious prejudice ran very strong in favour of monastic virginity had spirit enough to oppose the torrent and to caution the devout and tender sex against so dangerous a profession it is in this point of view that the character of Erasmus appears with the most amiable lustre and his name ought to be eternally dear to the female world in particular though his studies in constitution led him almost to idolise those eloquent fathers of the church who have magnified this kind of life his good sense and his accurate survey of the human race enabled him to judge of the misery in which female youth was continually involved by a precipitous choice of the veil he knew the successful arts by which the subtle and rapacious monks invagalled young women of opulent families into the cloister and he exerted his lively and delicate wit in opposition to so pernicious and evil in those nations of Europe where nunneries still exist how many lovely victims are continually sacrificed to the avarice or absurd ambition of inhuman parents the misery of these victims has been painted with great force by some benevolent writers of France in most of those pathetic histories that are founded on the abuse of convents the misery originates from the parent and falls upon the child the reverse has sometimes happened and there are examples of unhappy parents who have been rendered miserable by the religious perversity of a daughter in the 14th volume of that very amusing work, Le Coe's Celebre a work which is said to have been the favourite reading of Voltaire there is a striking history of a girl underage who was tempted by pious artifice to settle herself in a convent in express opposition to parental authority her parents who had in vain tried the most tender persuasion endeavored at last to redeem their lost child by a legal process against the nunnery in which she was imprisoned the pleadings on this remarkable trial may perhaps be justly reckoned amongst the finest pieces of eloquence that the lawyers of France have produced Monsieur Gilles, the advocate for the parents represented in the boldest and most affecting language the extreme baseness of this religious seduction his eloquence appeared to have fixed the sentiments of the judges but the cause of superstition was pleaded by an advocate of equal power and it finally prevailed the unfortunate parents of Maria Vernal for this was the name of the unfortunate girl were condemned to resign her forever and to make a considerable payment to those artful devotees who had piously robbed them of their child when we reflect on the various evils that have arisen in convent we have the strongest reason to rejoice and glory in that reformation by which the nunneries of England were abolished yet it would not be candid or just to consider all these as the mere harbours of licentiousness since we are told that at the time of their suppression some of our religious houses were very honourably distinguished by the purity of their inhabitants the visitors, says Bishop Bernard interceded earnestly for one nunnery in Oxfordshire where there was great strictness of life and to which most of the young gentle women of the country were sent to be bred so that the gentry of the country desired the king would spare the house yet all was ineffectual degrees of sentimental attachment at different periods in the earlier ages, sentiment in love does not appear to have been much attended to when Abraham sent his servant to court a bride for his son Isaac we do not so much as hear that Isaac was consulted on the matter nor is there even a suspicion that he might refuse or dislike the wife which his father had selected for him from the manner in which Rebecca was solicited we learn that women were not then courted in person by the lover but by a proxy whom he or his parents deputed in his stead we likewise see that this proxy did not as in modern times endeavour to gain the affection of the lady he was sent to by enlarging on the personal properties and mental qualifications of the lover but by the richness and magnificence of the presence he made to her and her relations Presence have been from the earliest ages and after this day the mode of transacting all kinds of business in the east when a favour is to be asked of a superior one cannot hope to obtain it without a present courtship therefore having been anciently transacted in this manner it is plain that it was only considered in the same light as any other negotiable business and not as a matter of sentiment and of the heart in the courtship however or rather purchase of a wife by Jacob we meet with something like sentiment for when he found that he was not possessed of money or goods equal to the price which was set upon her he not only condescended to purchase her by servitude but even seemed much disappointed when the tender-eyed Leah was faithlessly imposed upon him instead of the beautiful Rachel the ancient Gauls, Germans and neighbouring nations of the north had so much veneration for the sex in general that in courtship they behaved with a spirit of gallantry and showed a degree of sentiment to which those who called them barbarians never arrived not contented with getting possession of the person of his mistress a northern lover could not be satisfied without the sincere affection of her heart nor was his mistress ever to be gained but by such methods as plainly indicated to her the tenderest attachment from the most deserving man the women of Scandinavia were not to be courted but by the most assiduous attendants seconded by such warlike achievements as the custom of the country had rendered necessary to make a man deserving of his mistress on these accounts we frequently find a lover accosting the object of his passion by a minute and circumstantial detail of his exploits and all his accomplishments we fought with swords, says King Regner in a beautiful ode composed by himself in memory of the deeds of his former days that day wherein I saw ten thousand of my foes rolling in the dust near a promontory of England a dew of blood distilled from our swords the arrows which flew in search of the helmets bellowed through the air the pleasure of that day was truly exquisite we fought with swords a young man should march early to the conflict of arms man should attack man or bravely resist him in this has always consisted the nobility of the warrior he who aspires to the love of his mistress ought to be dauntless in the clash of swords the descendants of the northern nations long after they had plundered and re-peopled the greatest part of Europe retained nearly the same ideas of love and practised the same methods in declaring it that they had imbibed from their ancestors love says William of Montanyugu engages to the most amiable conduct love inspires the greatest actions love has no will but that of the object beloved nor seeks anything but what will augment her glory you cannot love nor ought to be beloved if you ask anything that virtue condemns never did I form a wish that could wound the heart of my beloved nor delight in a pleasure that was inconsistent with her delicacy the method of addressing females among some of the tribes of American Indians is the most simple that can possibly be devised when the lover goes to visit his mistress he only begs leave by signs to enter her hut after obtaining this he goes in and sits down by her in the most respectful silence if she suffers him to remain there without interruption her doing so is consenting to his suit if however the lover has anything given him to eat and drink it is a refusal though the woman is obliged to sit by him until he has finished his repast he then retires in silence in Canada courtship is not carried on with that coy reserve and seeming secrecy which politeness has introduced among the inhabitants of civilised nations when a man and woman meet though they never saw each other before if he is captivated by her charms he declares his passion in the plainest manner and she with the same simplicity answers yes or no without further deliberation that female reserve says an ingenious writer Dr Alexander that seeming reluctance to enter into the married state observable in polite countries is the work of art and not of nature the history of every uncultivated people amply proves it it tells us that their women not only speak with freedom the sentiments of their hearts but even blush not to have these sentiments made as public as possible in Formosa however they differ so much from the simplicity of the Canadians that it would be reckoned the greatest indecency in the man to declare or in the woman to hear a declaration of the passion of love the lover is therefore obliged to depute his mother sister or some female relation and from any of these the soft tale may be heard without the least offence to delicacy in Spain the women had formally no voice in disposing of themselves in matrimony but as the empire of common sense began to extend itself they began to claim a privilege at least of being consulted in the choice of the partners of their lives many fathers and guardians hurt by this female innovation and puffed up with Spanish pride still insisted on forcing their daughters to marry according to their pleasure by means of duenas, locks, hunger and even sometimes of poison and daggers but as nature will revolt against every species of oppression and injustice the ladies have for some time begun to assert their own rights the authority of fathers and guardians begins to decline and lovers find themselves obliged to apply to the affections of the fair as well as to the pride and avarice of their relations the nightly musical serenades of mistresses by their lovers are still in use the gallant composes some love sonnets as expressive as he can not only of the situation of his heart but of every particular circumstance between him and the lady not forgetting to lard them with the most extravagant encomiums on her beauty and merit these he sings in the night below her window accompanied with his lute are sometimes for the whole band of music the more piercingly cold the air the more the lady's heart is supposed to be thawed with the patient's sufferance of her lover who from night to night frequently continues his exercises for many hours heaving the deepest sighs and casting the most piteous looks towards the window at which if his goddess at last days to appear and drops him a curtsy he is superlatively paid for all his watching but if she blesses him with a smile he is ready to run distracted in Italy the manner of addressing the ladies so far as it relates to serenading nearly resembles that of Spain the Italian however goes a step farther than the Spaniard he endeavours to blockade the house where his fair one lives so as to prevent the entrance of any rival if he marries the lady who cost him all his trouble in attendance he shuts her up for life if not she becomes the object of his eternal hatred and he too frequently endeavours to revenge by poison the success of his happier rival in one circumstance relating to courtship the Italians are said to be particular they protract the time as long as possible well knowing that even with all the little ills attending it a period thus employed is one of the sweetest of human life a French lover with the word sentiment perpetually in his mouth seems by every action to have excluded it from his heart he places his whole confidence in his exterior air and appearance he dresses for his mistress, dances for her flutters constantly about her helps her to lay on her rouge and to place her patches he attends her round the whole circle of amusements chatters to her constantly whistles and sings and plays the fool with her whatever be his station everything gaudy and glittering within the sphere of it is called in to his assistance particularly splendid carriages and toured deliveries but if, by the help of all these he cannot make an impression on the fair one's heart it costs him nothing but a few shrugs of his shoulders two or three silly exclamations and as many stanzas of some satirical song against him and, as it is impossible for a Frenchman to live without an amour he immediately betakes himself to another though is hardly any such thing among people of fashion as courtship matters are generally so ordered by parents and guardians that to a bride and bridegroom the day of marriage is often the second time of their meeting in many countries to be married in this manner would be reckoned the greatest of misfortunes in France it is little regarded in the fashionable world few people are greater strangers to or more indifferent about each other than husband and wife and any appearance of fondness between them or their being seen frequently together would infallibly make them forfeit the reputation of the tom and be laughed at by all polite company on this account nothing is more common than to be acquainted with a lady without knowing her husband or visiting the husband without ever seeing his wife end of section 11 section 12 of sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Tim Ferrera sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world by Anonymous German women of all the German females the ladies of Saxony are the most amiable their persons are so superiorly charming and preferable in whatever can recommend them to be notice of mankind that the German youth often visit Saxony in quest of companions for life exclusive of their beauty and comeliness of appearance they are brought up in a knowledge of all those arts both useful and ornamental which are so brilliant in addition to their native attractions but what chiefly enhances their value and gives it reality and duration is a sweetness of temper and festivity of disposition that never fail to endear them on a very slight acquaintance to crown all they are generally patterns of conjugal tenderness and fidelity as they are commonly careful to improve their minds by reading an instructive conversation they have no small share of facetiousness and ingenuity from their innate liveliness they are extremely addicted to all the gay kind of amusements they excel in the allurements of dress and decoration and are in general skillful in music the character however of the women in most other parts of Germany particularly of the Austrian is very different from this notwithstanding the advantages of size and make their looks and features though not unsightly portray a vacancy of that life and spirit without which beauty is uninteresting and, like a mere picture becomes utterly void of that indication of sensibility which alone can awaken a delicacy of feeling as their education is conducted by the rules of the grossest superstition and they are taught little else than set forms of devotion they arrive to the years of maturity uninstructed in the use of reason and usually continue profoundly ignorant the remainder of their days which are spent or rather loitered away in apathy and indolence the principal happiness of the Austrian ladies of fashion consists in ruminating on the dignity of their birth and families the antiquity of their race the rank they hold the respect attached to it and the prerogatives they enjoy over the inferior classes whom they treat with the utmost superciliousness and hold and the most unreasonable contempt in the meantime their domestic affairs are condemned to the most unaccountable neglect they dwell at home careless of what passes there and suffer disorder and confusion to prevail without feeling the least uneasiness great frequenters of churches their piety consists in the strictest conformity to all the externals of religion they profess the most boundless belief in all the silly legends with which their treatises of devotion are filled and these are the only books they ever read the coldness of their constitution occasions a species of regulated gallantry which is rather the effect of an opinion that it is an appendage of high life than the result of their natural inclination it must at the same time be allowed that the Austrian women are endowed with a great fund of sincerity and candor and though too much on the reserve and prone to keep it in unnecessary distance they are capable of the truest attachment and always warm and zealous in the cause of those whom they have admitted to their friendship though the Germans are rather a dull and flimatic people and not greatly enslaved by the warmer passions yet at the court of Vienna they are much given to intrigue and an Amor is so far from being scandalous that a woman gains credit by the rank of her gallant and is recklessly and unfashionable if she scrupulously adheres to the virtue of chastity but such customs are more the customs of courts than of places less exposed to the temptation and consequently less disloot and we are well assured that in Germany there are many women who do honour to humanity not by chastity only but also by a variety of other virtues the ladies of the principal courts differ not much in their dress from the French and English they are not however so excessively fond of paint as the former at some courts they appear in rich furs and all of them are loaded with jewels if they can obtain them the female part of the burgers families dress in a very different manner and some of them inconceivably fantastic as may be seen in many prints published in books of travels but in this respect they are gradually reforming and many of them make quite a different appearance in their dress from what they did 30 or 40 years ago the inhabitants of Vienna lived luxuriously a great part of their time being spent in feasting and crowzing in winter when the different branches of the Danube are frozen over and the ground covered with snow the ladies take their recreation in sledges of different shapes such as griffins, tigers, swans, scallop shells, etc here the ladies sits dressed in velvet lined with rich furs and adorned with laces and jewels hanging on her head a velvet cap the sledges drawn by one horse, stag or other creature set off with plumes of feathers, ribbons and bells as this diversion is taken chiefly in the night time servants ride before the sledge with torches and a gentleman standing on the sledge behind guides the horses a view of matrimony in three different lights the marriage life is always an insipid, vexatious or happy condition the first is when two people of no taste meet together upon such a settlement as has been thought reasonable by parents and conveyancers from an exact evaluation of the land and cash of both parties in this case the young ladies person is no more regarded in the house and improvements in purchase of an estate but she goes with her fortune rather than her fortune with her these make up the crowd or vulgar of the rich and fill up the lumber of the human race without beneficence towards those below them or respect toward those above them and lead a despicable, independent and useless life without sense of the laws of kindness, good nature, mutual offices and the elegant satisfactions which flow from reason and virtue the vexatious life arises from a conjunction of two people of quick taste and resentment put together for reasons well known to their friends in which a special care is taken to avoid what they think the chief of evils, poverty and ensure them riches with every evil besides these good people live in a constant restraint before company and when alone, revile each other's person and conduct in company, they are in purgatory when by themselves, in hell the happy marriage is where two persons meet and voluntarily make choice of each other without principally regarding or neglecting the circumstances of fortune or beauty they may still love in spite of adversity or sickness the former we may in some measure defend ourselves from the other is the common lot of humanity love has nothing to do with riches or state solitude with the person beloved has a pleasure even in a woman's mind beyond show or pomp betrothing in marriage at a very early period families who lived in a friendly manner fell upon a method of securing their children to each other by what is called in the sacred writings betrothing this was agreeing on a price to be paid for the bride the time when it should be paid and when she should be delivered into the hands of her husband there were, according to the Talmudists three ways of betrothing the first by a written contract the second by a verbal agreement accompanied with a piece of money and the third by the parties coming together and living as husband and wife would preferably be called marriage as betrothing the written contract was in the following manner on such a day, month, year A, the son of B, has said to D, the daughter of E Be thou my spouse according to the law of Moses and of the Israelites and I give thee as a dowry the sum of two hundred sisms as is ordered by our law and the said D hath promised to be his spouse upon the conditions aforesaid which the said A doth promise to perform on the day of marriage and to this the said A doth hereby bind himself and all that he hath to the very cloak upon his back engages himself to love, honor, feed, clothe, and protect her and to perform all that is generally implied in contracts of marriage in favor of the Israelite's wives the verbal agreement was made in the presence of a sufficient number of witnesses by the man saying to the woman take this money as a pledge that at such a time I will take thee to be my wife a woman who was thus betrothed or bargained for was almost in every respect by the law considered as already married before the legislation of Moses marriages among the Jews, say the rabbis were agreed on by the parents and relations of both sides when this was done the bridegroom was introduced to his bride presents were mutually exchanged the contract signed before witnesses and the bride, having remained some time with her relations was sent away to the habitation of her husband in the night with singing, dancing, and the sound of musical instruments by the institution of Moses the rabbis tell us the contract of marriage was read in the presence of and signed by at least ten witnesses who were free and of age the bride who had taken care to bathe herself the night before appeared in all her splendor but veiled in imitation of Rebecca who veiled herself when she came in sight of Isaac she was then given to the bridegroom by her parents in words to this purpose take her according to the law of Moses and he received her by saying I take her according to that law some blessings were then pronounced on the young couple both by the parents and the rest of the company the blessings or prayers generally run in this style blessed art thou, O Lord of heaven and earth who has created man in thine own likeness and has appointed woman to be his partner and companion blessed art thou who fill us Zion with joy for the multitude of her children blessed art thou who sendeth gladness to the bridegroom and his bride who has ordained for them love, joy, tenderness, peace and mutual affection be pleased to bless not only this couple but Judah and Jerusalem with songs of joy and praise for the joy that thou give us to them by the multitudes of their sons and of their daughters after the virgins had sung a marriage song the company partook of a repast the most magnificent the parties could afford after which they began to dance the men round the bridegroom the women round the bride they pretended that this dance was of divine institution and an essential part of the ceremony the bride was then carried to the nuptial bed and the bridegroom left with her the company again returning to their feasting and rejoicing and the rabbis informed us that this feasting when the bride was a widow lasted only three days but seven if she was a virgin at the birth of a son the father planted a cedar and at that of a daughter he planted a pine of these trees the nuptial bed was consecrated when the parties whose birth they were planted entered into the married state the Assyrians had a court or tribunal whose only business was to dispose of young women in marriage and see the laws of that union properly executed what these laws were or how the execution of them was enforced are circumstances that have not been handed down to us but the erecting a court solely for the purpose of taking cognizance of them suggests an idea that they were many and various among the Greeks the multiplicity of male and female deities who were concerned in the affairs of love made the invocations and sacrifices on a matrimonial occasion a very tedious affair fortunate omens gave great joy and the most fortunate of all others was a pair of turtles seen in the air as those birds were reckoned the truest emblems of conjugal love and fidelity if however one of them was seen alone it infallibly denoted separation and all the ills attending an unhappy marriage on the wedding day the bride and bridegroom were richly dressed and adorned with garlands of herbs and flowers the bride was conducted in the evening to the house of her husband in a chariot seated between her husband and one of his relations when she alighted from the chariot the axiltree of it was burnt to show that there was no method for her to return back as soon as the young couple entered the house figs and other fruits were thrown upon their heads to denote plenty an assumptions entertainment was ready for them to partake of to which all the relations on both sides were invited the bride was lighted to bed by a number of torches according to her quality and the company returned in the morning to salute the new married couple and to sing epithalamia at the door of their bed chamber epithalamia were marriage songs anciently sung in praise of the bride or bridegroom wishing them happiness, prosperity and a numerous issue among the Romans there were three different kinds of marriage the ceremony of the first consisted in the young couple celebrating a cake together made only of wheat, salt and water the second kind was celebrated by the parties solemnly pledging their faith to each other by giving and receiving a piece of money this was the most common way of marrying among the Romans it continued in use even after they became Christians when writings were introduced to testify that a man and a woman had become husband and wife and also that the husband had settled dower upon his wife these writings were called tabulae dotalis dowry tablets and hence perhaps the words in our marriage ceremony I thee endow the third kind of marriage was when a man and woman having cohabitated for some time and had children found it expedient to continue together in this case if they made up the matter between themselves it became a valid marriage and the children were considered as legitimate something similar to this is the present custom in Scotland there if a man live with and have children by a woman though he do not marry her till he be upon his deathbed all the children are thereby legitimated and become entitled to the honors and estates of their father the case is the same in Holland and some parts of Germany with this difference only that all the children to be legitimated must appear with the father and mother in church at the ceremony of their marriage end of section 12 section 13 of sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world by Anonymous section 13 female friendship it has long been a question which of the two sexes is more capable of friendship Montague who is so much celebrated for his knowledge of human nature has given it positively against the women and his opinion has been generally embraced friendship perhaps in women is more rare than among men but at the same time it must be allowed that where it is found it is more tender men in general have more of the parade than the graces of friendship they often wound while they serve and their warmest sentiments are not very enlightened with respect to those minute sentiments which are of so much value but women have a refined sensibility which makes them see everything nothing escapes them they divine the silent friendship they encourage the bashful or timid friendship they offer the sweetest consolations to friendship in distress furnished with finer instruments they treat more delicately a wounded heart they compose it and prevent it from feeling its agonies they know above all how to give value to a thousand things which have no value in themselves we opt therefore perhaps to desire the friendship of a man upon great occasions but for general happiness we must prefer the friendship of a woman with regard to female intimacy it may be taken for granted that there is no young woman who has not or wishes not to have a companion of her own sex to whom she may embosen herself on every occasion that there are women capable of friendship with women few impartial observers will deny there have been many evident proofs of it and those carried as far as seemed compatible with the imperfections of our common nature it is however questioned by some while others believe that it happens exceedingly seldom between married and unmarried women that no dode happens very often whether it does so between those that are single is not so certain young men appear more frequently susceptible of a generous and steady friendship for each other than females as yet unconnected especially if the latter have or are supposed to have pretensions to beauty not adjusted by the public in the frame and condition of females however compared with those of the other sex there are some circumstances which may help towards an apology for this unfavorable feature in their character the state of matrimony is necessary to the support order and comfort of society but it is a state that subjects the women to a great variety of solicitude and pain nothing could carry them through it with any tolerable satisfaction or spirit but very strong and almost incongruable attachments to produce these is it not fit they should be peculiarly sensitive to the attention in regards of the men upon the same ground does it not seem agreeable to the purposes of providence that the securing of this attention in these regards should be a principal aim but can such an aim be pursued without frequent competition and will not that too readily occasion jealousy envy and all the unamable effects of mutual rival ship without the restraints of superior worth and sentiment is certainly well but can these be ordinarily expected from the prevailing turn of female education or from the little pains that women as well as other human beings commonly take to control themselves and to act nobly in this last respect the sexes appear pretty much on the same footing this reasoning is not meant to justify the indulgence of those little and sometimes base passions towards one another with which females have been so generally charged it is only intended to represent such passion in the first approach and while not entertained as less criminal than the men are apt to state them and to prove that in their attachments to each other the latter have not always that merit above the women which they are apt to claim in the meantime let it be the business of the ladies by emulating the gentlemen where they appear good-natured and disinterested to disprove their imputation and to show a temper open to friendship as well as to love to talk much of the latter is natural for both to talk much of the former is considered by the men as one way of doing themselves honor friendship they well know is that dignified form which in speculation at least every heart must respect but in friendship as in religion which on many accounts it resembles speculation is often substituted in the place of practice people fancy themselves possessed of the thing and hope that others will fancy so too because they are fond of the name and have learned to talk about it with plausibility such talk indeed imposes to experience give it the lie to say the truth there seems in either sex but little of what a fond imagination unacquainted with the falsehood of the world and warmed by affections which as not yet chilled would reckon friendship in theory the standard is raised too high we ought not however to wish it much lower the honest sensibilities of ingenuous nature should not be checked by the over cautious maxims of political prudence no advantage obtained by such frigidity can compensate for the want of those warm effusions of the heart into the bosom of a friend which are doubtless among the most exquisite pleasures at the same time however it must be owned that they often by the inevitable lot of humanity make way for the bitterest pains which the breast can experience happy beyond the common condition of her sex is she who has found a friend indeed open-hearted yet discreet generously fervent yet steady thoroughly virtuous but not severe wise as well as cheerful can such a friend be loved too much or cherished too tenderly if to excellence and happiness there be any one way more pendious than another next to friendship with the supreme being it is this but when a mixture of mind so beautiful and so sweet takes place it is generally or rather always the result of early prepossession casual intercourse or in short a combination of such causes as are not to be brought together by management or design this noble plant may be cultivated but it must grow spontaneously end of section 13 on the choice of a husband by Anonymous section 14 of sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Belona Times sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world by Anonymous chapter 14 I assist me ye nine while the youth I define with whom I in wedlock would class and ye blooming fair lended listening air to approve of the man as you pass not the changeable fry who love nor know why but follow bed upped by their passions such votaries as these are like waves of the seas and steered by their own inclinations the hectoring blade how unfit for the maid where meekness and modesty reigns such a blundering bully I'll speak against truly whatever I get for my pains not the dogmatic elf whose great all is himself whose alone ifsy-dixit is law what a figure he'll make how like Momus he'll speak with snaring burlust a pshaw pshaw not the covetous wretch whose hearts at full stretch to gain an inordinate treasure him leave with the rest and such mortals detest who sacrifice life without measure the fluttering fop how empty his top nay but some call him cockscomb I tro but his losing your time he's not worth half a rhyme let the faggons of prose bind his brow the guttering sought what a conduit his throat how beastly and vicious his life where drunkards prevail whole families fail much more an affectionate wife one character yet I with sorrow repeat and oh that the number were less tis the blasphemous crew what a pattern they'll shoe to their hapless and innocent race let wisdom then shine in the youth that is mine whilst virtue his footsteps impress such I'd choose for my mate whether sooner or late tell me ladies what think you of this the chief point to be regarded says Lady Pennington in her advice to the daughters is in the choice of a companion for life is a really virtuous principal an unaffected goodness of heart without this you will be continually shocked by indecency and pain by impiety so numerous have been the unhappy victims to the ridiculous opinion a reformed Libertine makes the best husband that did not experience daily events the contrary one would believe it impossible for a girl who has a tolerable degree of common understanding to be made the dupe of so erroneous position which has not the least shadow of reason for its foundation and which a small share of observation will prove to be false in fact a man who has been conversant with the worst sort of women is very apt to contract a bad opinion of and a contempt for the sex in general incapable of his steaming any he is suspicious of all jealous without cause angry without provocation his own disturbed imagination is a continued source of ill humor to this is frequently joined a bad habit of body the natural consequence of an irregular life which gives an additional sourness to the temper what rational prospect of happiness can there be with such a companion and that this is the general character of those old reformed rakes observation will certify but admit there may be some exceptions it is a hazard upon which no considerate woman would venture the peace of her whole life the vanity of those girls who believe themselves capable of working miracles of this kind and who give up their persons to men of libertine principles upon the wild expectation of reclaiming them which deserves the disappointment which it will generally meet with for believe me a wife is of all persons the least likely to succeed in such an attempt be it your care to find that virtue and a lover which you must never hope to form in a husband good sense and good nature are almost equally requisite if the former is wanting it will be next to an impossibility to esteem the person of whose behavior you may have caused to be ashamed mutual esteem is as essential to happiness in the married state as mutual affection without the latter every day will bring with it some fresh cause of excitation until repeated quarrels produce a coldness which will settle into an irreconcilable aversion and you will become decorment but the object of contempt to your family and to your acquaintance this quality of good nature is of all others the most difficult to be ascertained on account of the general mistake of blending it with good humor as if they were in themselves the same whereas in fact no two principles of action are more essentially different but this may require some explanation by good nature I mean the true benevolence which partakes in the felicity of every individual within the reach of his ability which relieves the distressed comforts the afflicted diffuses blessings and communicates happiness far as its sphere of action can extend and which in the private scenes of life will shine conspicuous in the dutiful son the husband the indulgent father the faithful friend and in the compassionate master both to man and beast good humor on the other hand is nothing more than a cheerful pleasing deportment arising either from a natural gaiety of mind or from an affection of popularity joined to an affability of behavior the result of good breeding the taste of every company this kind of mere good humor is by far the most striking quality it is frequently mistaken for and complemented with the superior name of real good nature a man by the specious appearance has often acquired that appellation who in all the actions of private life has been a morose, cruel, vengeful sullen, haughty tyrant let them put on the cap whose temples fit the galling wreath a man of truly benevolent disposition and formed to promote the happiness of all around him may sometimes perhaps from an ill habit of body an accidental vexation or from a commendable openness of heart above the meanness of disguise be guilty of little sallies of peevishness or of humor which carrying the appearance of ill nature may be unjustly thought to proceed from it by persons who are unacquainted with his true character and who take ill humor and ill nature to be synonymous terms though in reality they bear not the least analogy to each other in order to the forming a right judgment it is absolutely necessary to observe this distinction which will effectually assure you from the dangerous error of taking the shadow for the substance an irretrievable mistake pregnant with innumerable consequent evils from what has been said it plainly appears that the criterion of this amiable virtue is not to be taken for the general opinion mere good humor being to all intents and purposes sufficient in this particular to establish the public voice in favor of a man utterly devoid of every humane and benevolent affection of heart it is only from the less conspicuous scenes of life the more retired sphere of action from the artless tenor of domestic conduct that the real character can with any certainty be drawn these undisguised proclaim the man but as they shun the glare of light nor court of popular applause they pass unnoticed and are seldom known till after an intimate acquaintance the best method therefore to avoid the deception in this case is to lay no stress on outward appearances which are too often fallacious but to take the rule of judging from the simple unpolished sentiments of those whose dependent connections give them undeniable certainty who not only see but who hourly feel the good or bad effect of that disposition to which they are subjected by this I mean that if a man is equally respected, esteemed, and beloved by his dependence and domestics you may justly conclude he has that true good nature that real benevolence which delights in communicating felicity and enjoys the satisfaction it diffuses but if by these he is despised served merely from a principle of fear devoid of affection which is ever easily discoverable whatever may be his public character however favorable the general opinion be assured that his disposition is such as can never be productive of domestic happiness I have been the more particular on this head as it is one of the most essential qualifications to be regarded and of all others the most liable to be mistaken never be prevailed with my dear to give your hand to a person defective in these material points secure a virtue of good nature and understanding in a husband you may be secure of happiness without the two former it is unattainable without the latter in a tolerable degree it must be very imperfect remember however that infallibility is not the property of man or you may entail disappointment on yourself by expecting what is never to be found the best men are sometimes inconsistent with themselves they are liable to be hurried by sudden starts of passion into expressions and actions with which their cooler reason will condemn they may have some oddities of behavior and some peculiarities of temper they may be subject to accidental ill humor or to whimsical complaints blemishes of this kind often shade the brightest character but they are never destructive of mutual felicity unless when they are made so by an improper resentment or by an ill judged opposition when called and in his usual temper the man of understanding if he has been wrong will suggest to himself all that could be misused him the man of good nature will unuprated own his error immediate contradiction is therefore wholly unserviceable and highly imprudent and after repetition is equally unnecessary and injudicious any peculiarities in the temper or behavior ought to be properly represented in the tenderest and in the most friendly manner if the representation of them is made discreetly it will generally be well taken but if they are so habitual as not easily to be altered strike not too often upon the unharmonious string rather let them pass unobserved such a cheerful compliance will better cement your union and they may be made easy to yourself by reflecting on the superior good qualities by which these trifling faults are greatly over balanced you must remember my dear these rules are laid down on the supposition of your being united to a person who possesses the three qualification for happiness before mentioned in this case no farther direction is necessary but that you strictly perform the duty of a wife namely to love to honor and obey the two first articles are a tribute so principally do to merit that they must be paid by inclination and they naturally lead to the performance of the last which will not only be easy but a pleasing task since nothing can ever be enjoined by such a person that is in itself improper and a few things will that can with any reason be disagreeable to you the being united to a man of irreligious principles makes it impossible to discharge a great part of the proper duty of a wife to name but one instance obedience will be rendered impracticable by frequent injunctions inconsistent with and contrary to the higher obligations of morality this is not a supposition but is a certainty founded upon facts which I have too often seen and can attest this happens the reasons for non-compliance ought to be offered in a plain, strong good-natured manner there is at least the chance of success from being heard but should those reasons be rejected or the hearing them refused and silence on the subject enjoined which is most probable few people caring to hear what they know to be right when they are determined not to be convinced by it and urge not the argument farther keep however steady to your principles and suffer neither persuasion nor threats to prevail on you to act contrary to them all commands repugnant to the laws of Christianity it is your indispensable duty to disobey all requests that are inconsistent with prudence or incompatible with the rank and character which you ought to maintain in life it is your interest to refuse a compliance with a former would be criminal a consent to the latter highly and discreet and it might thereby subject you to general censure for a man capable of requiring from his wife what he knows to be in itself wrong is equally capable of throwing the whole blame of such misconduct to her and of afterwards upgrading her for a behavior to which he will upon the same principle disown that he has been accessory many similar instances have come within the compass of my own observation in things of less material nature that are neither criminal in themselves nor pernicious in their consequences always acquiesce if insisted on however disagreeable they may be to your own temper and inclination such a compliance will evidently prove that your refusal in the other cases proceeds not from a spirit of contradiction but merely from a just regard to that superior duty which can never be infringed with impunity as the want of understanding is by no art to be concealed by no address to be disguised it might be supposed impossible for a woman of sense to unite herself to a person whose defect in this instance must render that sort of rational society which constitutes the chief happiness of such a union impossible yet here how often has the weakness of female judgment been conspicuous the advantages of great superiority in rank or fortune have frequently proved so irresistible a temptation as in opinion to outweigh not only the folly but even the vices of its possessor a grand mistake ever tacitly acknowledged by a subsequent repentance when the expected pleasures of affluence equipage and all the glittering pageantry have been experimentally found insufficient to make amends for the want of that constant satisfaction which results from the social joy of conversing with a reasonable friend but however weak this motive must be acknowledged it is more excusable than another which I fear has sometimes had an equal influence on the mind I mean so great a love of sway as to induce her to give the preference to a person of weak intellectuals in hopes of holding uncontrolled the reins of the expectation is in fact ill grounded obstinacy and pride are generally the companions of folly the silliest people are often the most tenacious of their opinions and consequently the hardest of all others to be managed but admit the contrary the principle is in itself bad it tends to invert the order of nature and to counteract the design of providence a woman can never be seen in a more ridiculous light than when she appears to govern her husband if unfortunately the superiority of understanding is on her side the apparent consciousness of that superiority betrays a weakness that renders her contemptible in the sight of every considerate person and it may very probably fix in his mind eradicated in such a case if it should ever be your own remember that some degree of dissimulation is commendable so far as to let your husband's defects appear unobserved when he judges wrong never flatly contradict but lead him insensibly into another opinion in so discreet a manner that it may seem entirely his own and let the whole credit of every prudent determination rest on him without indulging the foolish vanity of claiming any merit to yourself thus a person of but an indifferent capacity may be so assisted as in many instances to shine with borrowed luster scarce distinguishable from the native and by degrees he may be brought into a kind of mechanical method of acting properly in all the common occurrences of life odd as this position may seem it is founded in fact I have seen the method successfully practiced by more than one person where a weak mind on the governed side has been so prudently set off as to appear the sole director like the statue of the Delphic God which was thought to give forth its own oracles whilst the humble priest who lent his voice was by the shrine concealed sought a higher glory than a supposed obedience to the power he would be thought to serve a letter to a new married man I received the news of your marriage with infinite delight and hope the sincerity with which I wish you happiness may excuse the liberty I take in giving you a few rules whereby more certainly to obtain it I see you smile at my wrong-headed kindness and reflecting on the charms of your bride cry out in a rapture that you are happy enough without any rules that you are but after one of the forty years which I hope you will pass pleasingly together is over this letter may come in turn and rules for felicity may not be found unnecessary however some of them may appear impracticable could that kind of love be kept alive through the marriage state which makes the charm of a single one the sovereign good would no longer be sought for but reason shows that this is impossible and experience informs us that it never was so we must preserve it as long and supply it as happily as we can when your present violence of passion subsides however and a more cool and tranquil affection takes its place be not hasty to censure yourself as indifferent or to lament yourself as unhappy you have lost that only it was possible to retain and it were graceless amid the pleasures of a prosperous summer to regret the blossoms of a transient spring neither unwarily condemn your bride's insipidity till you have recollected that no object however so blind no sounds however charming can continue to transport us with delight when they no longer strike us with novelty the skill to renovate the powers of pleasing is said indeed by some women in an eminent degree but the artifices of maturity are seldom seen to adorn the innocence of youth you have made your choice and ought to approve it satiety follows quickly upon the heels of possession and to be happy we must always have something in view the person of your lady is already all your own and will not grow more pleasing in your eyes I doubt the rest of your sex will think her handsome for these dozen of years turn therefore all your attention to her mind which will daily grow brighter by polishing study some easy science together and acquire a similarity of tastes while you enjoy a community of pleasures you will by this means have many images in common and be freed from the necessity of separating to find amusement nothing is so dangerous to wedded love as the possibility of either being happy out of the company of the other endeavor therefore to cement the present intimacy on every side let your wife never be kept ignorant of your income your expenses your friendships or aversions let her know your very faults but make them amiable by your virtues consider all concealment as a breach of fidelity let her never have anything to find out in your character and remember that from the moment one of the partners turns spy upon the other they have commenced a state of hostility seek not for happiness in singularity and dread a refinement of wisdom as a deviation into folly listen not to those sages who advise you always to scorn the counsel of a woman and if you comply with her requests pronounce you to be wife ridden I said that the person of your lady would not grow more pleasing to you but pray let her never suspect that it grows less so that a woman will pardon an affront to her understanding much sooner than one to her person is well known nor will any of us contradict the assertion all our attainments all our arts are employed to gain and keep the heart of man and what mortification can exceed the disappointment if the end be not obtained there is no reproof however pointed no punishment however severe that a woman of spirit will not prefer to neglect and if she can endure it without complaint it only proves that she means to make herself amends by the attention of others for the slights of her husband for this and for every reason it behooves a married man not to let his politeness fail though his ardor may abate but to retain at least that general civility towards his own lady which he is so willing to pay to every other and not show a wife of eighteen or twenty years old that every man in company can treat her with more complacence than he who so often bowed to her eternal fondness it is not my opinion that a young woman should be indulged in every wild wish of her gay heart or giddy head but contradiction may be softened by domestic kindness and quiet pleasures substituted in the place of noisy ones public amusements are not indeed so expensive as is sometimes imagined but they tend to alienate the minds of married people from each other a well chosen society of friends and acquaintance more eminent for virtue and good sense than for gayity and splendor where the conversation of the day may afford a comment for the evening seems the most rational pleasure this great town has ever heard that your own superiority should always be seen but never felt seems an excellent general rule a wife should outshine her husband in nothing not even in her dress the bane of married happiness among the city men in general has been that finding themselves unfit for polite life they transferred their vanity to their ladies dressed them up gaily and sent them out to regale with port wine or run punch perhaps among mean companions after the house was shot this practice produced the ridicule thrown on them in all our comedies and novels since commerce began to prosper but now that I am so near the subject a word or two on jealousy may not be a miss for though not a failing of the present ages growth yet the seeds of it are too certainly sown in every warm for us to neglect it as a fault of no consequence if you are ever tempted to be jealous watch your wife narrowly but never tease her tell her your jealousy but conceal your suspicion let her in short be satisfied that it is only your odd temper and even troublesome attachment that makes you follow her but let her not dream that you ever doubted seriously of her virtue even for a moment if she is disposed towards jealousy of you let me beseech you to be always explicit with her and never mysterious be above delighting in her pain of all things nor do your business nor pay your visits with an air of concealment when all you are doing might as well be proclaimed perhaps in the parish vestry but I hope better than this of your tenderness in your virtue and will release you from a lecture you have so little of unless your extreme youth and my uncommon regard will excuse it and now farewell make my kindest compliments to your wife and be happy in proportion as happiness is wished you by dear sir and etc garrick's advice to married ladies ye fair married dames who so often deplore that a lover once blessed is a lover no more attend to my counsel nor blush to be caught that prudence must cherish what beauty has caught the bloom on your cheek and the glance of your eye your roses and lilies may make the men sigh but roses and lilies and sighs pass away and passion will die as your beauties decay use the man that you wed like your favorite guitar though music and both they are both apt to jar how tuneful and soft from a delicate touch not handled too roughly nor played on too much the sparrow and linnet will feed from your hand rotate by your kindness and come at command exert with your husband the same happy skill for hearts like your birds may be tamed to your will be gay and good humored complying in kind turn the chief of your care tis thus that a wife may her conquests improve and hymen shall rivet the fetters of love. section 15 recording by Tricia G section 16 of sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world by anonymous section 16 origin of nunneries soon after the introduction of Christianity Saint Mark is said to have founded a society called Therapeuties who dwelt by the Lake Morris in Egypt and devoted themselves to solitude and religious offices about the year 305 of the Christian computation Saint Anthony being persecuted by Dioclesion retired into the desert near the Lake Morris numbers of people soon followed his example joined themselves to the Therapeuties Saint Anthony being placed in their head and improving upon their rules first formed them into regular monasteries and enjoined them to live in mortification and chastity about the same time or soon after Saint Sinclitica resolved not to be behind Saint Anthony and her zeal for chastity is generally believed to have collected together a number of enthusiastic females and to have founded the first nunnery for their reception some imagine the scheme of celibacy was concerted between Saint Anthony and Saint Sinclitica as Saint Anthony on his first retiring into solitude is said to have put his sister into a nunnery which must have been that of Saint Sinclitica but however this be from their institution monks and nuns increased so fast that in the city of Orixa about 17 years after the death of Saint Anthony there were 20,000 virgins devoted to celibacy such at this time was the rage of celibacy a rage which however unnatural will cease to excite our wonder when we consider that it was accounted by both sexes the shore and only infallible road to heaven and eternal happiness and as such it behoved the church vigorously to maintain and countenance it which she did by beginning about this time to deny the liberty of marriage to her sons in the first council of Nice held soon after the introduction of Christianity the celibacy of the clergy was strenuously argued for and some think that even in an earlier period of the subject of debate however this be it was not agreed to in the council of Nice though at the end of the fourth century it is said that Syracuse Bishop of Rome enacted the first degree against the marriage of monks a degree which was not universally received for several centuries after we find that it was not uncommon for clergymen to have wives even the popes were allowed this liberty as it is said in some of the old statutes of the church that it was lawful to have children so exceedingly difficult is it to combat against nature that little regard seems to have been paid to this degree of Syracuse for we are informed that several centuries after it was no uncommon thing for the clergy to have wives and perhaps even a plurality of them as we find it among the ordinances of Pope Sylvester that every priest should be the husband of one wife only and Pius II affirmed that though many strong reasons for the clergy there were still stronger reasons against it description of the great convent at Ayuda in Rio de Janeiro at the end of the chapel is a large quadrangle entered by a massive gateway surrounded by three stories of graded windows here female negro peddlers come with their goods and expose them in the courtyard below the nuns from their graded windows above see what they like and letting down a chord the article is fastened to it and if approved of the prices let down some that I saw in the act of buying and selling in this way were very merry joking and laughing with the blacks below and did not seem at all indisposed to do the same with my companion in three of the lower windows on a level of the courtyard are revolving cupboards like half barrels and at the back of each is a plate of tin perforated like the top of a nutmeg grater the nuns of this convent are celebrated for making sweet confectionary which people purchase there is a bell which the purchaser applies to and a nun peeps through the perforated tin she then lays the dish on a shelf of the revolving cupboard and turns it inside out the dish is taken the price laid in its place and it is turned in while we stood there the invisible lady of water asked for a pinch of snuff the box was laid down in the same way and turned in and out ceremony of the initiation of a nun the disposition to take the veil even among young girls is not uncommon in Brazil the opposition of friends can prevent it until they are 25 years old but after that time they are considered competent to decide for themselves a writer describes the initiation of a young lady whose wealthy parents were extremely reluctant to have her take the veil she held a lighted torch in her hand in imitation of the prudent virgins and when the priest chanted your spouse approaches come forth and meet him after the altar singing I follow with my whole heart and accompanied by two nuns already professed she knelt before the bishop she seemed very lovely with an unusually sweet, gentle and pensive countenance she did not look particularly or deeply affected but when she sung her responses there was something exceedingly mournful in the soft, tremulous and timid tones of her voice the bishop now exhorted her to make a public profession of her vows before the congregation and said will you persevere in your purpose of holy chastity she blushed deeply and with a downcast look lowly but firmly answered I will he again said more distinctly do you promise to preserve it and she replied more emphatically I do promise the bishop then said thanks be to God and she bent forward and reverently kissed his hand while he asked her the habiliments in which she was hereafter to be clothed were sanctified by the aspersion of holy water then followed several prayers to God that as he had blessed the garments of Aaron with ointment which flowed from his head to his beard so he would now bless the garments of his servant with the copious dew of his benediction when the garment was thus blessed the girl retired with it and having laid aside the dress in which she had appeared she returned a raid in her new attire except her veil a gold ring was next provided and consecrated with a prayer that she who wore it might be fortified with celestial virtue to preserve a pure faith and incorrupt fidelity to her spouse Jesus Christ he last took the veil and her female attendant having uncovered her head he threw it over her so that it fell on her shoulders and bosom and said receive this sacred veil under the shadow of which you may learn to despise the world and submit yourself truly to all humility of heart to your spouse to which she sung a response in a very sweet, soft and touching voice he has placed this veil before my face that I should see no lover but himself the bishop now kindly took her hand and held it while the following hymn was chanted by the choir with great harmony beloved spouse come the winter is past the turtle sings and the blooming vines are redolent of summer a crown, a necklace and other female ornaments were now taken by the bishop and separately blessed and the girl bending forward he placed them on her head and neck praying that she might be thought worthy to be enrolled into the society of the 144,000 virgins who preserved their chastity and did not mix with the society of impure women last of all he placed the ring on the middle finger of her right hand and solemnly said so I marry you to Jesus who will henceforth be your protector receive this ring the pledge of your faith that you may be called the spouse of God she fell on her knees and sung I am married to him whom angels serve whose beauty the sun and moon admire then rising and showing with exultation her right hand she said emphatically as if to impress it on the attention of the congregation my lord has wedded me with this ring and decorated me with a crown as his spouse I hear renounce and despise all earthly ornaments for his sake whom alone I see whom alone I love in whom alone I trust and to whom alone I give all my affections my heart hath uttered a good word I speak of the deed I have done for my king the bishop then pronounced the general benediction and retired up to the altar while the nun professed was born off between her friends with lighted tapers and garlands waving end of section 16 section 17 sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Summer Days sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world by Anonymous wedded love is infinitely preferable to variety hail wedded love mysterious law choose source of human offspring sole propriety in paradise of all things common else by thee adulterous lust was driven from men among the bestial herds to range by thee founded in reason, loyal, just and pure relations, dear and all the charities of father, son and brother first were known thou art the fountain of domestic sweets whose bed is undefiled and chased pronounced here love his golden shafts employs here lights his constant lamp and waves his purple wings rains here and revels not in the bot smile of harlots loveless, joyless, unendeered casual fruition nor in court amours mixed dance or wanton mask or midnight ball or serenade which the starved lover sings to his proud fair best quitted with disdain Italian debauchery if chastity is none of the most shining virtues of the French it is still less so of the Italians almost all the travelers who have visited Italy agree in describing it as the most abandoned of all the countries of Europe at Venice, at Naples and indeed in almost every part of Italy women are taught from their infancy the various arts of alluring to their arms, the young and unwary and of obtaining from them while heeded by love or wine everything that flattery and false smiles can obtain in those unguarded moments and so little infamous is the trait of prostitution and so venal the women that hardly any rancor conditions set them above being bribed to it nay, they are frequently assisted by their male friends and acquaintances to drive a good bargain nor does their career of debauchery finish with their unmarried state the vows of fidelity which they make at the altar are like the vows and odes made upon too many other occasions only considered as newgatory forms which law has obliged them to take but custom absolve them from performing they even claim and enjoy greater liberties after marriage than before every married woman has a chitis bae or galant who attends her to all public places hands her in and out of her carriage picks up her gloves or fan and a thousand other little offices of the same natures but this is only his public employment as a reward for which he is entitled to have the lady as often as he pleases at a place of retirement sacred to themselves where no person, not even the most intrusive husband must enter to be witness of what passes between them this has been considered by people of other nations as a custom not altogether consistent with chastity and purity of manners the Italians themselves, however endeavor to justify it in their conversations with strangers and Beretti has of late years published a formal vindication of it to the world in this vindication he has not only deduced the original of it from pure platonic love but would willingly persuade us that it is still continued upon the same mental principles a doctrine which the world will hardly stop to swallow even though he should offer more convincing arguments to support it than he has already done Naked Fakirs so different over all the world are the sects of saints as well as of sinners that besides the Brahmins a set of innocent and religious priests who have rendered their women virtuous by treating them with kindness and humanity there are another sect of religious philosophical drones called Fakirs who contribute as much as they can to debauch the sects under a pretense of superior sanctity these hypocritical saints like some of the ridiculous sects which formerly existed in Europe wear no clothes considering them only as proper appendages to sinners who are ashamed because they are sensible of guilt while they being free from every saint of pollution have no shame to cover in this original state of nature these idol and pretended devotees assemble together sometimes in armies of ten or twelve thousand and under a pretense of going in pilgrimage to certain temples like locusts devour everything on their way the men flying before them and carrying all that they can out of the reach of their depredations while the women not in the least afraid of a naked army of lusty saints throw themselves in their way or remain quietly at home to receive them it has long been an opinion that it has been accomplished all over India that there is not in nature so powerful a remedy for removing the sterility of women as the prayers of these sturdy naked saints on this account barren women constantly apply to them for assistance which when the good natured fakir has an indication to grant he leaves a slipper or his staff at the door of the ladies apartment with whom he is praying a simple so sacred that it effectually prevents anyone from violating their devotion but should he forget the signal and at the same time be distant from the protection of his brethren a sound-drubbing is frequently the reward of his pious endeavors but though they venture sometimes in Hindustan to treat a fakir in this unholy manner in other parts of Asia and Africa such as a veneration in which these lusty saints are held that they not only have access when they please to perform private devotions with barren women but are accounted so holy that they may at any time in public or private confer a personal favor upon a woman without bringing upon her either shame or guilt and no woman dare refuse to gratify their passion nor indeed has anyone an inclination of this kind because she upon whom this personal favor has been conferred is considered by herself and by all the people as having been sanctified and made more holy by the action so much concerning the conduct of the fakirs in debouching women seems certain but it is by travelers further related that wherever they find a woman who is exceedingly handsome they carry her off privately to one of their temples but in such a manner as to make her and the people believe that she is carried away by the God who is there worshipped who being violently in love with her took that method to procure her for his wife this done they perform actual ceremony and make her further believe that she is married to the God when in reality she is only married to one of the fakirs who personates him women who are treated in this manner are revered by the people as the wives of the God and by that stratagem secured solely to the fakirs who have cunning enough to impose themselves as gods upon some of these women through the whole of their lives in countries where reason is stronger than superstition we almost think this impossible where the contrary is the case there is nothing too hard to be credited something like this was done by the priests of ancient Greece in Rome and a few centuries ago tricks of the same nature were practiced by the monks and other libertines upon some of the visionary and enthusiastic women of Europe hence we need not think it is strange if the fakirs generally succeed in attempts of this nature when we consider that they only have to receive a people brought up in the most consummate ignorance and that nothing can be more flattering to a female vanity than for a woman to suppose herself such a peculiar favorite of the divinity she worships as to be chosen from all her companions to the honor of being admitted to his embraces a favor which her self admiration will dispose her more readily to believe than examine Mahomedan plurality of wives but it is not the religion of the Hindus only that is unfavorable to chastity that of Mahomed which now prevails over a great part of India is unfavorable to it likewise Mahomedanism everywhere indulges men with a plurality of wives while it ties down the women to the strictest conjugal fidelity hence while the men riot in unlimited variety the women are in great numbers confined to share among them the scanty favors of one man only this unnatural and impolitic conduct induces them to seek by art and intrigue what they are denied by the laws of their prophet as polygamy prevails over all Asia this art and intrigue follow as the consequence of it some have imagined that it is the result of climate but it rather appears to be the result of the injustice which women suffer by polygamy for it seems to rain as much inconstinople and in every other place where polygamy is in fashion as it does on the banks of the Ganges or the Indus the famous Montesquieu whose system was that the passions are entirely regulated by the climate brings as proof of the system a story from the collection of voyages for the establishment of an East India company in which it is said that at Patan quote the wanton desires of their women are so outrageous the men are obliged to make use of a certain apparel to shelter them from their designs end quote where this story really true it would be but a partial proof of the effect of the climate for why should the burning sons of Patan only influence the passions of the fair why should they there transport that sex beyond decency which in all other climates is the most decent and leave in so cool and defensive a state that sex which in all other climates is apt to be the most offensive and indecent to whatever length the spirit of intrigue may be carried by Asian Africa however the passions of the women may prompt them to excite desire and to throw themselves in the way of gratification we have the strongest reasons to reprobate all these stories which would make us believe that they are so lost to decency as to attack the other sex such a system would be overturning nature and inverting the established laws by which she governs the world end of section 17 recording by Summer Days section 17 of sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Summer Days sketches of the fair sex in all parts of the world by anonymous women of Ota Hiti in Ota Hiti an island in the southern ocean we are presented with women of a singular character as far as we can recollect we think it is a pretty general role that whatever the sex are accustomed to be constantly clothed they are ashamed to appear naked those of Ota Hiti seem however to be an exception to this rule to show themselves in public with or without clothing appears to be to them a matter of equal indifference and the exposition of any part of their bodies is not attended with the least backwardness or reluctance circumstances from which we may reasonably infer that among them clothes were not originally invented to cover shame but either as ornaments or as a defense against the cold but a still more striking singularity in the character of these women and which distinguishes them not only from the females of all of their nations but likewise from those of almost all of their animals is they're performing in public those rights which in almost every other part of the globe are performed in privacy and retirement whether this is the effect of innocence or of a disiluteness of manners to which no other people have yet arrived remains still to be discovered that they are disilute even beyond anything we have hitherto recorded is but too certain as polygamy is not allowed among them to satisfy the lust of variety they have a society called areyoy in which every woman is common to every man and when any of these women happens to have a child it is smothered in the moment of its birth that it may not interrupt the pleasures of its infamous mother but in this juncture should nature relent at so horrid a deed even then the mother is not allowed to save her child unless she can find a man who will patronize it as a father in which case the man is considered as having appropriated the woman to himself and she is accordingly extruded from this hopeful society these few anecdotes sufficiently characterize the women of this island in the name of the Roman icon Euclidian Pompeia our own times furnish us with an instance of a ceremony from which all women are carefully excluded that is masonry but the Roman ladies in performing the right sacred to the good goddess were even more afraid of the men than our masons are of women for we are told by some authors that so cautious were they of concealment that even the statues and pictures of men and other male animals were hoodwinked with a thick veil the commonly so large that they might have been perfectly secured against all intrusion in some remote apartment of it was obliged to be evacuated by all male animals and even the consul himself was not suffered to remain in it before they began their ceremonies every corner and lurking place in the house was carefully searched and no caution omitted to prevent all possibility of being discovered by impertinent curiosity or disturbed by presumptive intrusion but these cautions were not all the guard that was placed around them the laws of the Romans made it death for any man to be present at the solemnity such being the precautions and such the penalties for ensuring the secrecy of the ceremony it was only once attempted to be violated though it existed from the foundation of the Roman Empire till the introduction of Christianity and this attempt was made not so much perhaps with a view to be present at the ceremony as to fulfill an designation with a mistress Pompeya the wife of Caesar having been suspected of a criminal correspondence with Claudius and so closely watched that she could find no opportunity of gratifying her passion at last by the means of a female slave settled an designation with him at the celebration of the rights of the good goddess Claudius was directed to come in the habit of a singing girl a character he could easily personate being young and of a fair complexion as soon as the slave saw him enter she ran to inform her mistress the mistress eager to meet her lover immediately left the company and threw herself into his arms but could not be prevailed upon him to return so soon as he thought necessary for their mutual safety upon which he left her and began to take a walk through the rooms always avoiding the light as much as possible while he was thus walking by himself a maid servant accosted him and desired him to sing he took no notice of her but she followed and urging him so closely that he was at last obliged to speak his voice betrayed his sex the maid servant shrieked and running into the room where the rights were performing told that a man was in the house the women in the utmost consternation threw a veil over the mysteries ordered the doors to be secured and with lights in their hands ran about the house searching for the sacrilegious intruder they found him in the apartment of the slave who had admitted him drove him out of the ignominy and though it was in the middle of the night immediately dispersed to give an account to their husbands of what had happened Claudius was soon after accused of having profaned the holy rites but the populace declaring in his favor the judges fearing an insurrection were obliged to acquit him a word to a very nice class of ladies there is amongst us a female character not uncommon which we denominate the outrageously virtuous women of this stamp never failed to seize all opportunities of exclaiming in the bitterest manner against everyone upon whom even the slightest suspicion of indiscretion or unchastity has fallen taking care as they go along to magnify every molehill into a mountain and every thoughtless freedom into the blackest of crimes but besides the illiberality of thus treating such as may frequently be innocent you may credit us dear country woman that such a behavior instead of making you appear more virtuous only draws down upon you by those who know the world suspicions not much to your advantage your sex are in general suspected by ours of being too much addicted to scandal and defamation a suspicion which has not arisen of late years as we find in the ancient laws of England a punishment known by the name of ducking stool holding and defamation in the women though no such punishment nor crime is taken notice of in the men this crime however we persuade ourselves you are less guilty of than is commonly believed but there is another of a nature not more excusable from which we cannot so much exculpate you which is that harsh and forbidding appearance you put on and that ill treatment which you no doubt think necessary for the illustration of your own virtue you should bestow on every one of your sex deviated from the path of rectitude a behavior of this nature besides being so opposite to that meek and gentle spirit which should distinguish female nature is in every respect contrary to the charitable and forgiving temper of the Christian religion and infallibly shuts the door of repentance against an unfortunate sister willing perhaps to abandon the vices into which heedless advertency had plunged her and from which none of you can promise yourselves absolute security we wish not fair country women like the declaimer and satirist to paint you all vice in imperfection nor like the venal pangirist to exhibit you all virtue as impartial historians we confess that you have in the present age many virtues and good qualities which were either nearly or altogether unknown to your ancestors but do you not also exceed them in some follies and vices also it's not the levity dissipation and extravagance of the women of this century arrived to a pitch unknown and unheard of in former times it's not the course which you steer in life almost entirely directed by vanity and fashion and are there not too many of you who throwing aside reason and good conduct and despising the counsel of your friends and relations seem determined to follow the mode of the world however it may be mixed with vice do not the generality of you dressed and appear above your station and are not many of you ashamed to be seen performing the duties of it to some of all do not too too many of you act as if you thought the care of the family and the other domestic virtues beneath your attention and that the sole end for which you are sent into the world was to please and divert yourselves at their expense of those poor wretches the men whom you consider as obliged to support you in every kind of idleness and extravagance while such is your conduct and while the contagion is every day increasing you are not to be surprised if the men still fond of you as playthings and hours of mirth and revelry ever shunned serious connection with you and while they wish to be possessed of your charms are so much afraid of your manners and conduct that they prefer the cheerless state of a bachelor to the numberless evils arising from being tied to a modern wife End of section 18 Recording by Summer Days