 Family Theater presents Bob Hope and Jean Cagney. From Hollywood, the Mutual Network and Cooperation with Family Theater presents Jean Cagney in the Long Way Round. To introduce the drama, your host, Bob Hope. Tony LaFranco. Family Theater's only purpose is to bring to everyone's attention a practice that must become an important part of our lives. If we are to win peace for ourselves, peace for our families, and peace for the world, Family Theater urges you to pray. Pray together as a family. Tonight, Family Theater takes great pleasure in presenting the Long Way Round starring Jean Cagney as Louise. Ready with a bass drum, Bobby? I'll say I am. Listen to me, Dad. Ah, that's the stuff. How about the old kazoozophone, Peter? Right in tune, Dad. Never heard it played sweeter. All right, men. Here we go with McNamara's band. Until the strain of overwork resulted in a tragic mental breakdown, McNamara's band was the favorite game of Philip Carr and his two sons, ten-year-old Peter and eight-year-old Bobby. When Philip was about to be released after six months in a sanitarium, his wife Louise found herself living in an agonizing fear of what his every word and action might be. That morning, she was talking with her mother. I'm going after Philip right now, Mother. Oh, I'm so glad, dear. I know how happy you are that he's well in his own self again. Do you plan to drop by and pick up the boys? No, dear. I think it's best that they stay with you, for a little while at least. But Louise, the first thing Philip will want to do is to see Peter and Bobby and play McNamara's band with them. Well, I can't help it, dear. I don't think they'd be good for him right now. Louise, are you sure that... Mother, I love Philip very dearly. I know you do, child. And I'm never going to let this happen to him again. I'll sacrifice myself, my home, everything I have. But this must never happen to him again. I'll drive. Shall I, Louise? I think perhaps I'd better, Philip. Okay, dear. I don't suppose it makes any difference. I only thought it's been so long since I sat behind a wheel. I said I only thought it's been so long since I sat behind a wheel. I heard you, Philip. Oh. Oh, stop here a minute. Will you, Louise? Why on earth do you want to stop here? Well, I just want to look back and see the place from the outside. An inviting-looking dump, isn't it? Mm-hmm. And those bars on the windows don't help. Funny. I've been here for six months. And until this moment, I'd no idea how it looks on the outside. Well, I've seen all of it I want myself. I never want to see it again. Poor old girl. It was worse for you than for me. I don't know how you stood it. Coming to see me twice a week, rain or shine? If you're finished looking at the place, Philip, I'll drive on. The sooner the better. I've seen all of it I want. The only place I want to look at now is home. Here's the turn to Winnetka, Louise, right here. Hey, hey, stop the car. You've passed it. Oh, I meant to tell you, Philip. I've rented the house for a year and taken one at Woodstock. But... Oh, but it's a charming little place. It's restful and quiet. You'll love it. But we don't know anyone at Woodstock. I realize that, Philip, but I thought if we lived somewhere away from our friends, you... Well, you might be spared some awkward encounters. I see. Woodstock is quite a distance to commute every day. But you won't be going into Chicago. No. Why not? Well, that's something else we've got to talk about, but not now, dear. Later, huh? Okay. I suppose it would be rather foolish to start back on the old grind right away. Anyway, it'll be good to see the boys. I'm afraid you won't see them, Philip. At least not for a while. I've sent them to stay with Mother. Louise. You see, I'd hardly call them restful. I thought it best to give you time to get adjusted. I've had six months of rest. A little healthy noise might be a welcome relief. That wasn't the only reason, Philip. There's the question of what we're going to tell them. What do you mean? Of course, we may not have to tell them anything. That'd be best. But if they should ask questions, I... Surely, Louise, you've told them something. Only that you'd gone away for a vacation. And you think they accepted that? They were there when I was taken away. Surely they saw me go? Well, didn't they? Yes. Yes, they saw you go. I thought so. And if I know kids, their imaginations have been working overtime. We'd better straighten them out. The truth probably isn't half as bad as the things they've been conjuring up in their mind. Well, I still say we'd better let matters rest as they are, Philip. Darling, I've thought out everything while... while you were away. And what I've done, I'm sure, is for the best. The house. How do you like it? Well, after our own place, it looks a bit hemmed in. Oh, it's very quiet. I told you you'd love it. Its lines are good. The setting's beautiful. You know, I've been looking forward to showing it to you. It's a little small for our furniture, but I think you'll like the way I've arranged it. I know I shall. You've always had perfect taste. Here's the key. Silly, that's the key to... Go ahead, say it. The key to home. Please, Philip. Come on. Come on. I want to show you everything. I don't want to look at everything. I want to look at you. You're very lovely, Louise. Philip. That was good. I never dared to really kiss you when you came to see me in that place. Why, you used to kiss me the way a little boy kisses his mother. Louise. No. No more. No. Let me show you the house. Just as you say. Now, here's the living room. And there, over by the window, is your chair. You found exactly the right spot for it, just as I knew you would. This is solid comfort. All that's lacking is my pipe and slippers and a highball. There isn't a drop in the house. Then I'll drive into town and get some. Philip. Don't look at me like that, Louise. I know for a while I was drinking heavily, too heavily. But it wasn't that. Oh. I mean, not only that. It was working 14, 15, 16 hours a day, every day. It was the endless worry. It was that big housing project with 101 things going wrong with it every time I turned my head. And wonder to me is I lasted as long as I did. How about Harry? Now, Louise, you mustn't blame Harry. It wasn't his fault. No, he's your partner, but he let you work yourself into a nervous breakdown. If I'd listened to Harry, I'd have been all right. He was always at me to take it easy. He did his best to make me take time out for a fishing trip. If you don't mind, we won't talk about that. The trip I never took. Got so for a while, it was all I could think about. I'd be sitting in the office, stewing over forms, or at my drafting board, trying to figure out how to make bricks without straw. And all the time, my mind would be up in northern Wisconsin, tangling with those big muskies. You wouldn't have been half so ill if that fishing trip hadn't become such an obsession. Oh, darling, let's not talk about it. But I should think we could start all over again, as if you'd never been away. Well, I have an idea. The talking about it is the only way to get it out of my system. You don't treat a boil by ignoring it. Oh, I'll answer it. I'm sure it's for me anyway. Probably so, dear. Hello? Yes? Yes, he's home. No, he's lying down. Very well, I'll tell him. Why did you close the door, Louise? I don't know. I didn't even realize I did it. Who was it? Oh, this local exchange. You know, it's forever calling wrong numbers. That wasn't a wrong number. It was Harry. Wasn't it? Yes, it was. But I didn't think it was worthwhile to bother you. He only wanted me to give you his regards. You might have known I'd want to talk to Harry. Oh, well, I'll run into Chicago to see him in a few days. No. Philip, I want you to promise me that you'll sell out. What? There's no reason for you to go back to work. We've more than enough to live on. A man can't retire at 40. Oh, there are other things besides work. You could play golf. You could take up a hobby of some kind. I'd go crazy. Philip, please don't ever say that word. So I've been helping out Louise, by more or less looking after your financial affairs while you were away, Philip. Well, all the details are here if you'd like to go over them. Jack, please don't bother Philip right now at that sort of thing. He knows he can rely on you. But after all, sis... She's right, Jack. If I can't trust my wife's brother... Well, thanks. I'm glad you feel that way about it, Philip. However, there's something that's come up that I'd like to have you decide for yourselves, you and Louise. You see, when I rented the house at Winetka for you, I held out the cottage on the south end of the property. Yes, it gave me a place to leave whatever furniture I couldn't bring here. Yeah, that's right. But now the agent has a prospective tenant who's willing to pay 75 a month. Wow, we'd better snap it up, Philip. I can store the little furniture that's there for a lot less than that. Louise, we lived in that cottage while we were building the house. I'm not sure it wasn't the happiest years of our married life. Well, it's a case of sentiment or 75 a month. I'll take sentiment. I'll take sentiment. We can do without the 75. Philip. No, but thanks a lot for everything you've done, Jack. I appreciate it. Philip, don't you think it might be best to leave everything in Jack's hands? Yes, it wouldn't be any bother. I'm supposed to be all right now. Remember? Of course you're all right. No one's suggesting anything to the contrary. I've been wondering about that paper I can see sticking out of Jack's inside pocket. I suppose it's a power of attorney, all drawn up for me to sign. The implication being, I'm incapable of thinking for myself. You misinterpret everything I do. Let me have that paper. Sure, here it is. What are you going to do, Philip? I want to keep you happy, so I suppose I'll sign it. Behead and say it. I disgraced you. I behaved like a boor, didn't I? Well, I couldn't see any special reason for you to call Mr. Peters an unmitigated old fool. He certainly bid that spade hand like one. Oh, suppose he did. Was it necessary for you to shout? I always raise my voice when I play bridge. I always have. No one's ever thought anything of it before. Bill Perry wouldn't have looked at me as if I were going to bite him. Bill would have hollered right back at me. The truth is, you disliked Mr. Peters from the start. I could see that. I don't like anyone with whom I've got to watch my step. Just because I didn't follow every word he said, he treated me like a moron with a minus four IQ. Oh, don't you understand, Louise? I'm afraid I don't. Look, a lot of things happened. Those six months I was away. And he kept bringing up things that anyone who followed the newspapers would be bound to know. But I was stumped. I felt like saying, you know why I don't know what you're talking about? You know where I've been? Well, I'm not crazy now. I was for six months, but not now. Mother. How are you, child? How's Philip? I don't know. You don't know? I can't tell. Sometimes he's just the way he used to be. And other times, Mother, I'm so afraid. If you should... Now, child, nothing like that's going to happen. Oh, you don't know, though. Last night we were out with a crowd and he got drunk. Well, that was the first time since he's been back, wasn't it? Yes, but if there's a first time, there can be a second time, and a third time, and... Oh, he's coming downstairs now. I wouldn't worry, Louise. I'm sure he's going. Goodbye. Good morning, darling. Good morning, darling. You don't have to give me the silent treatment, Louise, just because I got tight last night. I did it purposely. It proved something I had to know. It proved I don't need to be afraid of the stuff anymore. It's lost whatever hold it may have had on me. Louise, are you listening to me? I'm busy, Philip. I'm writing a letter to Mother. Oh. Well, give my love to the old lady and tell her to hurry up and send the boys back. We can't have them back yet, Philip. I really don't think I could manage the extra work. But I want to see them. I haven't laid eyes on them since I went away, and that's been almost eight months. Well, they could come up for a day. We could have a picnic. A day's better than nothing. We could dig up some old junk and reorganize McNamara's band. Don't you think the boys are a little old for that now? Bobby's eight and Peter's ten. Not what I'd call exactly middle-aged. Perhaps you mean I'm the one who's too old. I simply think that the idea of a grown man and two boys parading around and making a lot of noise is silly. Seems to me there are a lot of things that you and the boys could do that would be more constructive. Yes, son. I'm all right now. You were funny, Dad. Was I, Bobby? When was that? When you were fishing off the sleeping porch into the yard. You kept hollering. I got one. I got a big one. It made me kind of laugh. Go on. You were scared stiff. You were ballin'. And when those men came and took Dad away, you balled all night. Now you say it was funny. Listen, boys, do you remember that old clock we wound up too tight? Sure I remember. So do I. Remember how all of a sudden it seemed to go haywire? For a minute or so, every wheel in the works went around like mad. The little hand raced the big one around the dial. It kept whirling and striking, whirling and striking. I remember. And then it let out a big kind of a boing. And all the works were jumbled up inside. And it didn't run anymore. That's right. But when we sent it to the clockmaker, it came back as good as ever. Do you remember what he told us? That there were 50 more years in the old clock if we took care of it. Dad, you won't let yourself get wound up too tight ever again, will you? Never again, Peter. You were funny, though. You kept saying that was the biggest musky you ever saw. Peter, Bobby, go into the house. Your hands are dirty. Go in and wash. OK, Mom. We'll be back in a little while, Dad. Then we can play mat and mirrors. How could you tell him? How could you do such a thing? No, it's quite out of the question. That's final. Do you understand? I will not have him bothered. You've got to leave him alone. Louise... No. Goodbye. Let me have that phone, please. Harry? Phillip? How are you, old boy? Never felt better in my life. What were you phoning about, Harry? Oh, nothing. Nothing very much. Nothing for you to worry about. I'm not the worrying kind anymore, Harry. You couldn't hire me to worry. What were you and Louise talking about? It wasn't anything especially important, Phil. Just something that's come up at the office, that's all. Nothing to bother you with, really. Well, what is it? Now listen, Harry, if it's anything to do with the business, I want to know what it is. Well, if you put it that way, Phil, we've been asked to design something special in a prefabricated house, and it struck me it was right up your street. But I don't want to... I'll be down at the office in the morning. Here, hold on a minute. I won't have you at the office. I'll send you all the dope and you can work it out at home. But you stay away from the office. I'm not kidding, Phil. I mean it. All right, Harry, just as you say. But don't send the specifications here. I'll phone you later and tell you where to send them. Well, what's the idea, then? Goodbye, Harry. What did you mean by telling Harry not to send those specifications here? It's simple. I mean that I'm leaving. Philip. I thought I was coming home. You'll never know how much I wanted to come home. But all I did was exchange one sanitarium for another. Philip, you don't know. Well, if I could only tell you... if I could only make you see the nightmare I went through while you were away. It was a picnic for me, I suppose. But, darling, I came to see you on your bad days. Darling, you don't know. You don't remember. It was awful. When they finally told me I could bring you home, I promised myself I'd never let it happen again. Home? If this is what you call bringing me home, we've come the long way around. Maybe I've been a fool. But don't you see? Philip, you must see. I was afraid. Terribly, horribly afraid. But a man can't live with fear. It eats his heart out, rots his insides away. God didn't make him that way. I wanted you to forget. A man's made up of his experiences, Louise. He's got to be able to live with them in order to live with himself. To adjust himself to reality. Where... Where are you going? I haven't even thought about that. All I've thought about is that I've got to get away from you. I love you, Louise. I always have and I always will. But you're poisoning the air I breathe. I've got to go. Now, before I start hating you. How do you do, Mrs. Carr? You remember me, don't you, Dr. Semler? My husband about eight months ago... Of course, Mrs. Carr. And how is Mr. Carr doing? He... He was released from the sanitarium two months ago. Dr. Semler, I've got to talk to you. Certainly, certainly, Mrs. Carr. Now sit down there, please. Thank you. Now, just make yourself comfortable. How well do you remember my husband's case, Doctor? Well, let me see now. Too much work, a little too much alcohol... And something snapped. All too often it happens in these trying times. My prescription was rest and proper care. He had all that, Dr. Semler, at the sanitarium. And he was discharged after six months as completely cured. At least they said he was. But you yourself are not certain, are you? How can I tell, Doctor? I've done everything I know to make it easy for him. I've rented our house in Winnetkin. I moved to a quiet place in Woodstock so that he'd be away from all his former associations. I even sent our two boys over to stay at my mother's so that they wouldn't bother him with their noise. I see. Mrs. Carr, since he has been home, has he ever given any indication of returning to irrationality? No, I... I can't say that he has, but... But you're disturbed because he still continues to take a little drink. Well, how did you... One night he got beastly drunk. Excuse me, please. How do you mean beastly? He acted like a beast? Oh, no, no, certainly not. He always acts like a gentleman. I mean, he had too much. I see. And the next morning he tried to excuse himself. He said it was a good thing. He said it proved to him that liquor had no hold on him anymore. Since that time, Mrs. Carr, has he ever, shall I say, repeated the performance? No. No, I can't say that he has. But, Doctor, now he's gone back to work. To the same kind of work that drove him crazy. Mrs. Carr, let me ask you something. Do you know what an anxiety neurosis is? No. No, not exactly. Then I shall tell you. It is a term which we use to describe a person who is slave to a remote fear. Oh, I don't think you understand, Doctor Semmel. I must not have explained things very clearly. Philip isn't a bit like that. Philip? Yes, my husband. He isn't like that at all. My dear young lady, we are not talking about your husband. We are talking about you. Pick it to Enetka, please, one way. Do you know where the car place is? Out on the lakefront? Yeah, sure. I know where it is. Let it get in. I don't want the large house, please. I want the little cottage on the south side. There you are, lady. The 75 cents. Thank you very much, here. Keep the change. Oh, thanks, lady. Louise, what are you doing here? I have a comb and some tissue paper in my handbag. I want to join McNamara's band. Now, this is Bob Hope again. You know, most people will think I'm out of character talking about prayer. A comedian isn't supposed to pass and be ridiculous to the sublime. Well, maybe that's true, but any comedian who's half the psychologist he's supposed to be can give you a dozen reasons why saints aren't sad. In a way, humor takes people out of themselves by giving them another viewpoint. Prayer, in a sense, takes people out of themselves, too, by showing them that things are never quite as bad as they look. And that besides, there's always God to help them in life's battles, and he does help them. I suppose I could condense this thought by saying humor lifts a person, prayer uplifts him. And I ought to add, too, that most of the truly spiritual people I've met have a genuine sparkle in their eyes and a great fund of laughter. Some of it I know comes from a sense of value so valuable to the comedian, too. For me, another great proof that God, from the beginning, intended man to be happy as that he gave him such a generous helping of humor. Otherwise, how could a wounded soldier or a sick kid forget himself and laugh? Prayer, too, makes a person forget himself by remembering God. Now, I want to tell you a little story that illustrates that a comic line can sometimes be almost perfect prayer. It depends on intention and the circumstances, and comedians will tell you the timing. This radio announcer had a large family, and you can guess that whether he was selling soap or sealing wax, he always had an audience, commercials and all. Well, these kids were well-schooled in their prayers, too. Let her perfect, in fact, just as my own are. And mothers have a weakness for being proud of such kids. In fact, whenever there were guests at dinner, they had to call on one of them to say, Grace. This night, there were quite a few guests. The mother looked down the table and said, Tommy, will you say Grace, please? Six-year-old Tommy was off guard. He'd been sure it was Brother Reddy's night and was devoting his gaze to the roast beef. He gulped, started, stopped, clean, forgot the lines. For a moment, he was like an actor, caught without a script. But his mic technique was perfect. He remembered in a flash his father's commercials. He looked up brightly a second, and reverently bowed his head. This is what the guests heard. This food comes to you through the courtesy of God Almighty. A good example of family prayer, too. And I'm sure you've heard the family that prays together stays together. More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of. From Hollywood, Family Theater has brought you Gene Cagney in the Long Way Round. Bob Hope was your host. Featured in tonight's cast are Donald Woods, Janet Scott, Herb Rollinsen, Howard Culver, Dave Young, Michael Edwards, and Gilbert Barnett. This radio adaptation of Charles Ronald's Saturday Evening Post Story was by Jack Mitchell. With music composed and conducted by Harry Zimmerman. And was directed for Family Theater by Joseph F. Mansfield. Here again is Bob Hope. Family Theater is made possible by the thousands of you who feel the need for this type of program and by the mutual network which responds to that need. It's always a pleasure for us of the entertainment world to take part in these Family Theater broadcasts. Next week is Family Theater's fourth anniversary. In our special birthday program, the Treasury of Homes will star Loretta Young, Joe Stafford, John Charles Thomas, and Marina Koschetz. This is Bob Hope expressing the wish of Family Theater that the blessing of God may be upon you and your home and inviting you to be with us next week for our anniversary program, The Treasury of Homes. Join us, won't you? Family Theater is broadcasting throughout the world and originates in the Hollywood studios of the world's largest network. Tony LaFranco speaking. This is the Mutual Broadcasting System.