 500 days of summer can be a real bummer but there are also some great lessons that we can learn from it about breakups and I got a very special guest to talk to you all about it. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. What I typically do is pull different topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you about your mental and emotional well-being but you can also take a lot from movies, TV shows, just the content that you're consuming every single day. Anyways, if you're into that kind of stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. So today is an exciting day. Today I am doing a collab with my buddy, my editor, Zach. So those of you who came over during the Shane Dawson series, Zach was editing pretty much all of those videos. Amazing, amazing dude. Me and him have been buddies for I think about a year now, love that guy and yeah hopefully we're trying to figure something out so we can get back to editing some of my newer videos and stuff like that but anyways we were actually trying to do this collab like way earlier this year and like I was excited about it because you know he wanted to get my thoughts on 500 days of summer and it's really interesting. So I actually did a video talking about why this movie or this relationship should have never happened. There's a lot of relationship advice in it. I did that video over on Zach's channel so make sure you go check that out and feel free to subscribe to Zach. His channel link will be up there in the info card down in the description. It'll be at the end too. But anyways, Zach and I decided to edit each other's videos and I had a blast. But anyways, I love this because Zach was able to take things from this movie and actually learn some life lessons and that's something that I'm just always trying to teach you guys to do. So anyways, let's get started and here's my man Zach. Hey everybody, thank you so much to Chris for having me on the channel. I've been doing editing for him for the past couple of months so it's cool to be on this side of the camera for his channel. You guys are such an awesome community and I'm glad to be a part of it. And what's crazy is we had actually originally planned on doing this collab back in February but I was too busy with dealing with dropping out of college and planning my journey as a YouTuber. So yeah, maybe Chris will allow me to tell that story in one day too. But today is going to be new to me basically because this is the first time I've ever been this vulnerable on camera. I've been vulnerable my entire life. I always tell people what's up. I'm always like, yeah, this is what's going on with me. You know, I'm more of an open book than a closed book. But I've never talked about a relationship on camera. So it's going to be a little weird. But bear with me. Hopefully you guys can learn something from my experiences and from this movie that we're going to talk about. So earlier this year, I watched the movie 500 Days of Summer. I thought it was going to be one of those garbage hallmark movies that I could just talk trash on on a YouTube video. But it ended up being one of my favorite movies of all time. Essentially, it's a story about love, but it's not necessarily a love story. Boy meets girl, but boy doesn't stay with girl at the end of the movie. And that's what makes it such a unique and special movie. Couple that with exceptional cinematography, a beautiful soundtrack and editing that only I wish to thrive for in the future. This is a great movie that you should definitely watch. But movie critic stuff aside, I wanted to talk about one of the main characters, Tom Hanson. He's a guy that's probably in his late 20s. He works at a greeting card company instead of pursuing his dream job as an architect. And one day at work, he meets a girl named Summer. His immediate reaction is love at first sight. They eventually hook up and then they date a while, but their relationship isn't exactly defined. So he gets mad that she doesn't take their relationship as seriously as he does. Stuff happens and they end up breaking up, even though for the most part, their relationship was great. Summer explicitly says throughout the film that she doesn't wanna take things too seriously in the relationship. And it's pretty clear that her definition of love is completely different than his definition of love. The crazy thing that ends up happening though, that will lead into my personal story is that at the end of the movie, we're shown that Summer ends up getting married to someone that's not Tom. Even though Summer had stated many times that she wasn't ready for marriage, she ends up getting married to someone only months after they had started dating. And so this leaves Tom depressed and upset and confused. He doesn't know what he did wrong. He doesn't understand why Summer abandoned him and he has no closure. So this is where I fit in. I have been Tom before. At the end of this movie, he has no closure. I've been there and I'm pretty sure many of you have too. The beauty of this movie is it doesn't just show us what's on the surface, it lets us think about what's underneath. And for this instance, Tom, where we think that Tom is in the rights, the entire movie, and that he should be mad at Summer considering that she broke up with him, but he's in the wrong. He ends up going headfirst into a relationship without considering Summer's feelings whatsoever. And so he feels betrayed because Summer didn't quite love him as much as he loved her. So what ended up happening for me is that I did get closure from this movie in regards to a past relationship. So in 2012, I was about to start my junior year in high school and for the past two summers, I was a part of a summer college access program. I lived in a college campus for an entire month, took classes, did activities. The important part here is that my class was the same group of about 25 different people that I would end up living with for an entire four summers. So I had become very close to these people. They still remain some of my best friends to this day, and I would even consider most of them family. But in 2012, I had just started my second summer, and for the past couple of months, I had been texting and talking to this girl that's in my class for quite a while, almost on a daily basis. We were just friends though, and so it was weird because I had no intentions on dating her, the fact that us being in a relationship never even crossed my mind. But for some reason, when that second summer started up, and I was talking to her every day, like every single day during multiple meals, during workouts, during classes, I found myself basically falling in love with my best friend, and it was really weird. It was a super weird situation, but halfway through the summer, I found out that she also had feelings for me. We ended up talking it through, and then after a couple of months, after the summer had happened, after we had forgotten about the weirdness of the situation, we actually ended up dating for a while. And that's the beginning of my real first relationship. It was great, like everything about it was great until the very end. To this day, these are some of my fondness memories. I had thought even as a dumb teenager that we were gonna be high school sweethearts and like get married one day, which I can't even think about marriage right now. Holy crap, I can't even contemplate that thought. And the number one, thickest Pokemon waifu of all time is motherfucking Goudra. Who else would it be? Goudra, what do you think of the word thick? What do you think of first? Things like yogurt or gravy. Thick like substances, right? Things that are gooey, like the ability that Goudra has. That's right, Goudra is actually 100% the definition of the word thick. So with this being said, I have a favor to ask. But in high school, we had talked about this. We were dumb kids that had fell in love and we thought we were gonna get married. And so when this relationship had ended, it was a very, very confusing time in my life. It sucked. This was my first love. I really cared for her and it was hard to digest what had just happened. So essentially I felt like Tom from 500 Days of Summer. I knew that I loved this girl. I knew that she had loved me. I knew that what we had was real, but I was confused. I didn't quite understand how this relationship could end when I felt that I did nothing wrong. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't get over it immediately because I really didn't. For the last year of my high school life we actually remained friends, best friends. We had talked about everything. We still talked about getting back together and then there were even a couple of moments where it felt like we were back together. But at the end of the day, she ended up dating someone else. When it came to it, I still remain confused over why we broke up for a couple of years even. I eventually moved on and realized that it didn't matter why the relationship ended because it's not something that defines me and it's not the only thing that can make me happy in life. And that's super important for everybody to realize, especially when you end a relationship that relationships are not things that make you happy. But I also realized I've always been a busy person. So when I was in high school, I was in marching band, I was in jazz band, I led our jazz band. I was in so many different extracurricular activities in high school. I was taking college classes then. So when I went to college, things became even more difficult. I had more things on my plate. Everything in my life was busy. And even after college, like I'm still busy almost 24 seven. So what I realized was, homey, you don't need to be in a relationship right now. You need to work on yourself. You ain't got time for that. Ain't nobody got time for that. Ain't nobody got time for that. Ain't nobody got time. Ain't nobody got time. Ain't nobody got time for that. I have dreams and ambitions that I'm trying to work really hard to make happen. And so if someone came into my life right now pursuing a relationship, and if it was somebody that I cared about, like that'd be dope, but they would have to understand that right now is just not the time for me to be in a relationship. So if we were friends, like that'd be cool. But there's just no way that a relationship would work out right now because of how busy I am. And I'm actually kind of sure that maybe that's why that relationship didn't work out completely. I'm not 100% sure, but we'll get into that in a bit. The point is that I'm editing videos 24 seven and I ain't got time for girls. And that's okay. You need to realize that it's okay to not be in a relationship, especially if you're younger. If you're in your 20s and 30s, like you should be out there, and especially high school, you should be out there exploring, figuring out what your passions are and acting on them. There's also a whole nother lesson in this movie where Tom wants to be an architect. He's always wanted to be an architect, but he held himself back. And so he ended up working at this greeting card company. And he was good at making greeting cards. Like he was really good at it. But the relationship was summer that made him realize, yo, I really, really wanna be an architect. Like that is my passion, that is my dreams. And so at the end of the movie, he goes for it. And that's awesome. One of the things that I realized in my first real relationship was, I had just started YouTube a few months before that. So I've been doing YouTube for about seven, eight years now. And I had decided because of my relationship and because of being busy with everything else, I was going to quit YouTube for five months during this relationship. I quit YouTube and it was awful. Like I hated not making YouTube videos. And I've since gone on to be on a hiatus on YouTube for a few months because of other reasons. And I decided like, that's not something I'm willing to sacrifice. That's something I love doing. That's something I wanna keep doing. And that's the thing that I wanna be successful at or one of the things that I wanna be successful at. So don't let a relationship get in the way of your passions, of your ambitions, because a lot of people do that. And when that relationship ends, you're just sitting there, okay, now what? Now what do I do? Luckily, I was in high school. So I was like, I still have to finish high school. I'm still planning on going to college. I still have a career set forth for me like and all that got mixed up because of college. But anyways, the point is, is that relationships do not define you and it's okay to continue pursuing your passions during a relationship. But the biggest thing that I took away from 500 Days of Summer was that I got closure from this relationship. See throughout this entire movie, you are in the perspective of Tom. You see Tom's actions, you see Tom's motives. You don't really get a whole lot of that from summer. But it was this moment in the movie where I realized I have some closure. It's when summer says this. I just, I just woke up one day and I knew. And what? What I was never sure of with you. See, I think summer did love Tom. I think their relationship was very real and I believe that it wasn't in vain. But what I also realized is that it took Tom to show his love to summer for her to fully love the man that she ends up being married. And this is kind of poetic in a way. It's sad, yes, for Tom, but the fact that summer is this girl that didn't believe in love her entire life because her parents got divorced and because other relationships didn't go well, it was just kind of beautiful to see that Tom's love is the thing that showed summer that love is real. And all of this is cheesy, yes, sure. But what I had realized after four years of not being in this relationship and not having closure, that I still didn't understand why the relationship ended. I still don't understand what I did wrong. And even though I had moved on from this relationship a long time ago, there was still always something in the back of my mind every once in a while. You're up late at night. You're thinking about memories. You're wondering why didn't it? I don't understand. I still don't understand. Would I go back to that person right now? Probably not. But it still was confusing to me. Why did it end? And it was this moment in the movie that helped me realize that I loved this girl. She told me that she loved me and she probably did love me, but maybe that love wasn't equal. Maybe that love wasn't the same. And that's okay. That's very okay. Because now she is with somebody that she does love in that way, at least probably, right? I don't know. They'll have to figure that out for themselves. But in a way, this girl actually had a lot of similarities to Summer. So I'm glad that I was able to show her the love that I had during the time that we were together. But anyways, these are just a handful of the things that I learned from the movie. It helps your mental health. Really, this comes down to helping your mental health when you realize that you don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. You don't need to be a relationship when you're younger necessarily. If you're fine when that's cool, but you don't need to go pursuing it. When a relationship ends, it's not the end of the world. And relationships ending are okay. It's 100% okay. It means that you were meant to be with somebody else and they were meant to be with somebody else. And if you guys end up back together, look, that's cool too. Maybe you are meant to be together. Maybe right now in life is not the time that you guys need to be together. And just realizing these things, it makes you less stressed. It makes you less anxious. It makes you less depressed, at least in regards to your love life. You still have to figure out other things in your life. You still have to be able to focus on what's that thing that Chris always says? Mindfulness? Yeah. Yeah, be mindful of your relationship, guys, because that's super important. So hopefully this helped somebody. Being vulnerable like this on camera is oddly satisfying. Chris, I might have to start my own mental health channel. So what do you think about that? If you guys want me to talk about that time, I dropped out of college, even though I did finish the entire four years, mainly because of my mental health. Or if you want me to talk about my mental health in regards to being a small YouTuber and working as a freelancer and being an aspiring entrepreneur, I'm sure that the mental health in this mindset, Chris is going through it too. It's just a little bit different probably for both of us because everybody's different in different ways. Like Chris, no, I'd love to be back on the channel if he'd let me. And by the way, thank you for all of the kind comments that I've been getting from this community in the past about my editing on the channel. Those really do make my day and it's cool to see people appreciate my work. Anyways, thanks again to Chris for having me. How great was my editing though? How great was my editing though? Anyways, I want to touch on just one point that Zach said because I could make a more in-depth video on this, but he was talking about how Tom taught Summer that Summer could love somebody, right? And that's important. So I'm starting to get really deep like for this kind of like lighthearted thing that Zach and I are doing, but it's an important subject. So those of you who haven't been following my channel, I made a video back in August when it was the anniversary of my ex-girlfriend passing away. But when my ex-girlfriend passed away, like I was in love with Earth, I were gonna get married, have kids, all that stuff. And she passed away, right? And something that threw me into depression quite a bit was like, oh my God, I'm never going to feel that way again. I am never, ever, ever going to feel that way again. And a lot of us feel that way when we go through a breakup, we think that we are never, ever going to love somebody that much again. And after I got sober, I waited about a year and a half until I started dating again and I started dating this other young woman. And we dated for almost a year and I fell in love with her. I fell in love with her and that relationship ended and I was depressed and sad, all that breakup stuff. But one of the best things that I learned from that relationship was that I can love again, right? And that's huge, that's huge. Cause I know so many of you are going through a breakup or you just got out of a relationship or whatever. And I know that thought that's in our heads that we can never love again. And I want you to take my experience that's proof that you can love again. Not only did I fall in love with the girl I started dating, you know, after I got sober. But as most of you know, Tristan and I have been together for a little over two years now and I'm madly in love with her. So what I'm saying is, is like, don't give up hope. I know it sucks right now, but time will heal your wounds. Work on yourself, work on your mental health. Take some notes from what Zach was talking about too. Like some of you, and I know not many people are like, oh, you know, maybe it's supposed to be this way or whatever it is. But like just think like, sometimes we're meant to be single. Sometimes we're supposed to be single. Like I needed to be single so I could work on myself and my mental health. So I know we get lonely in all of those things and that's why we gotta work on ourselves. But anyways, like know that being single might actually be the best thing for you. All right, when the time comes, you will fall in love again. There are billions of people on this planet. So don't give up hope, all right? But anyways, a big, big, big thanks to Zach again for coming over and doing this guy's video. We'll probably do some more. We'll see, we'll see how he acts. All right, but anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. And right there is a link to Zach's channel. Go click that button, go subscribe to his channel. And then down there is a link to the video that I did over on his channel. So you can watch that, then subscribe. How about that? All right, thanks everybody. I'll see you next time.