 Good morning everybody, welcome to another vlog. I am just now getting ready to film some sponsored content or I guess shoot some for Instagram and I was getting ready to curl my hair and I thought it'd be interesting to show you how I've been curling my hair lately. This is due to pure laziness and no reason other than that. So I've been trying to get ready as quickly as possible because sometimes I feel really daunted by getting ready. Long story short, I've been trying to get ready more to just feel better mentally, which it does honestly help me. I've kind of found this to be the quickest way because this is like my hair, I washed it last night. It is so stringy, it's so grown out, it really needs help. But this is just my hair, like I fell asleep on it wet last night. So this is what it looks like. Some of you might think it's fine, but I need a little bit of judging up. So, okay, this is how I do it. I literally split my hair down the middle in the back and obviously if we have different hair textures or thickness or whatever, it might not work for you, but this is simply what works for me. So yeah, I split my hair into two. I have very, by the way, fine hair, but I have a ton of it. So I take my little half and I basically split it into like three or four sections. So I take like a big, fricking thick section like this and I take my curling iron and I try to keep the piece as flat as possible and I basically curl my way down the piece. So that was a little too far. But yeah, I just go like little by little and I just work my way down until I get to the end and I leave about that much out at the end. This is what I've been doing lately. I've seen some people do like this whole thing where you like untwist it and then you hold it, untwist it and then you hold it. I don't know if that works, but sure. And then you just pull it out and then I have like a big section of hair that's curled right there. I'll show you again. Just take as big of a section as you want. Boom. I wish I had started timing this at the beginning. It's less than five minutes. Again, just try and keep it as flat as possible. I like to hold it in this first spot until I can feel it getting hot at the top. Wait until there's some heat in there. Work your way down and then just pull her on out. So I guess four sections is more like it. I can't really do three. And this isn't like the type of, oh God, my lighting. This isn't like how I would curl my hair if I wanted my hair to be like super done up but this is just like a day to day. Just need my hair to do something else. And what it's been doing, take a look. This is section number three. That end needs to be addressed later. And then finally, section number four. Started talking for like two minutes before I started actually curling. It's been four minutes and 30 seconds. So probably two and a half minutes. Okay, then we switch and we do the exact same thing on the other side. I'll try to be faster. It's a lot faster when you're not trying to explain what you're doing and you're just doing it. Okay, so then your hair is gonna look a little something like this, you know, not my particular look of choice. Then you're gonna take a brush. Any old brush that you have, I'm actually gonna wait on this side because it's still a little warm. Once your hair is mostly cooled, you just literally brush it out. Seems counter-intuitive, but I promise it will come back together unless you have just super, super, super like fine thin hair. And then all I do is like go in and touch up random pieces that I feel like need some extra love and attention. So I'll do like maybe two or three touch-up pieces. Oh my God, I keep hitting myself in the eye. I have to go in and kind of like straighten out some pieces because I'm just not big into like curled ends type of thing. And some of these ends got a little janked up. So I'm just gonna like run a quick flat iron through those pieces. I'm gonna touch up my front pieces. I feel like your front pieces are like your most vital parts. So sometimes I honestly prefer like curling my front pieces with a flat iron, but I feel like curling the rest of my hair with a flat iron takes too much time, if that makes sense. So I'll just do like that really quick. Those little money pieces do a little bend in here. I'm just gonna kind of like gently brush through one more time, because I did add like a couple more pieces and I don't want them to look too crazy. I like that kind of, I used to literally just curl my hair and then leave it like I didn't touch it and it was not a good look for me anyway. It wasn't a great look. So I'm just gonna like soften these up a bit. There we have it, super, super fast and easy. Now I'm gonna do like a 10 minute makeup routine. You've seen that a million times and I'm gonna take some pics. That's why I have this tripod right here in my bathroom, just normal things for my job. All right, got myself all ready. I'm actually wearing this cute little set that I got from Aerie. This wasn't with my brand deal with them or anything. I spent my own money on it. It's very cute. And if you're wondering why are you in pajamas when you just got ready? It's like a bathroom themed. Well, not bathroom like restroom but the shoot is gonna be in the bathroom. So I thought like, you know, nighttime, before bed, pajamas, because I've been trying out a new product recently that I really, really love and I'm excited to talk about it on Instagram. So I'm gonna take some pictures. Why I'm not gonna lie. I'm feeling intense period pains today. It's the first day of my period and I've mentioned this quite a few times but I'm also mentioning it just because I feel like it might be helpful to some people. I have extremely debilitating periods. I feel literally just nauseous even talking right now. I'm actually like fighting some really bad nausea but I have a lot of work to get done today and unfortunately I don't get to like push back deadlines. I mean, I suppose I could ask but it's just something that I've dealt with and it's got progressively worse as I've gotten older and should we talk, let's just talk about it. So about like a year ago-ish I mentioned that I have really bad periods and that I've also gained a ton of weight and that I just have like really, really intense bleeding and cramps to the point where it's like, I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I have intense diarrhea and it's gotten to the point where it's like basically become unbearable. The fact that I'm able to like get up and move around right now is truly because of Tylenol and Advil combined. Like I've been alternating every few hours and it's something that I dread every single month. I typically cry every single month on my period and not because of the fact that I'm like emotional, I mean partly due to that but it's just because I'm in so much pain and I remember, this might have been my last period or maybe the one before that, I went, we were supposed to have friends come over that night and like hang out in the backyard and do like a socially distanced fire pit type of thing and I remember trying the entire day, I laid in bed the entire day crying, just trying to like pretend that I was okay, Drew was in the other room in his office and like an hour before our friends were supposed to come over or something like that, I remember going into his office and just like sobbing and he was like, oh my God, what's wrong? And I was just like, I can't have them come over, like I need to just lay in bed, I feel like I'm gonna throw up. Like I was so upset, it's so painful and I feel like when you talk about those things, you do sometimes get questions from people, like for example, there are lots of people who have endometriosis who are like, hey, it sounds really similar to what I went through, like when I was trying to get a diagnosis for endometriosis, which by the way, it is extremely hard to get a diagnosis for endometriosis, PCOS, it's like an entire process, I don't know why it's so hard to get a diagnosis, maybe because it takes so much to be able to diagnose someone, I'm not sure. And so anyways, like I've been dealing with this since high school really, I started my period really, really young. I don't know how this has turned into a period chat but whatever, we're gonna roll with it. So I started my period when I was 12 years old, which to me is pretty young, I was in sixth grade. I remember coming home from school one day and literally thought I pooped my pants, then I found out, oh, no I didn't. And then probably right around the beginning of my 20s, it started getting pretty bad and then like now in my 30s, it's unbearable. So I had a lot of people reaching out and being like, hey, this seems like endometriosis, you should reach out to your medical professional, blah, blah, blah, well to be truthful because of how the United States healthcare system works. I wasn't able to afford healthcare until like this year. I'm paying close to $400 a month for healthcare at the current moment and luckily with Drew's job, I'm actually able to get on his insurance as a domestic partner, which is gonna take effect soon. And I'm so, so excited because it's gonna be just such a game changer as far as how much we pay for health insurance, but anyways, that's a side topic for another day. I went back in 2016, I believe, and spoke to somebody and talked about my symptoms, what I was going through and they were basically just like, there are lots of different steps and tests that you have to do, et cetera, et cetera. And some people even have to go, I believe, in for surgery in order to determine if they have endow or not. So I have just basically not been able to afford to go pay out of pocket for a surgery. I just, as of January 1st, have gotten health insurance and I don't really feel comfortable going to the doctor right now unless it's like an absolute emergency because I'm just trying not to get COVID, I'm trying to wait until I'm vaccinated, do the best thing I can. And so I decided to wait and it's just gotten worse and worse and worse. It's gotten so bad to the point where I can barely stand it anymore. I mean, the fact that I'm even able to talk right now is like pretty miraculous. In about a year or so ago, I filmed a video talking about all these things like I mentioned. I talked about the fact that I've gained weight, I've talked about the fact that my periods are horrendous, I've talked about a little bit of my symptoms here and there and I think I said something like, it wouldn't surprise me if I had PCOS or endometriosis or I'm willing to bet I have it or something like that. I mean, obviously I'm not gonna diagnose myself before I see a doctor. There's needs to be like blood work done and all that kind of stuff, but I'm 99% sure I have one or both of those conditions. And so many people DM'd me or commented or sent me messages or whatever saying that I was diagnosing myself with PCOS or endometriosis and that it was irresponsible of me to do that. And it was just so bizarre because to me it was just such a casual comment and like friends of mine, close friends of mine who have endo and PCOS are like, yeah, it sounds like you have a lot of the same symptoms. Like I would get that checked out. You know, people in my life who suffer from severe endometriosis, one of my really good friends, she's been through multiple surgeries because of her endo. She's like, yeah, it sounds like you have it. Like you have all of my same symptoms, you should really get that checked out. So regardless, I mean, that's not a diagnosis and I've never said that I have it. I've never point blank been like, I'm on my endometriosis journey. I've literally just said like it wouldn't surprise me because genuinely it's bad. It's really bad. And the fact that I even feel the need to explain that it's bad is weird, but regardless, I got a lot of comments from people about that and just a lot of messages, mostly DMs. And I was just really surprised and I didn't ever address it in videos because it just felt like a non-issue. Like it was just like, well, no, I didn't ever say that I had it. It was just sort of a thing that I said in passing. And I am not exaggerating up until this past summer, I have still gotten occasional DMs from time to time being like, it really rubbed me the wrong way when you claimed to have, and I'm like, I mean, obviously I'm not gonna diagnose myself before I see a doctor. I'm not gonna diagnose myself before I see a doctor. I just listen. Like people are going to misinterpret you. People are going to be determined and committed to misunderstanding you and that's just what happens when your job is online. But like it's put me in a position for the last year or so when I'm going through bad times with my period and I kind of want to talk about it, that I feel like I can't talk about it because there's gonna be people who think that I'm trying to fake something for attention. I even got comments saying that because my good friend, Sierra, had recently gotten diagnosed with PCOS at the time that I was like trying to be like, not kidding by the way, these are actual things that people have said. And it's just so bizarre. So yeah, I'm not diagnosing myself with anything, but I'm just being real with you. Like that time of the month is a bitch for me. It is so rough. And I'm sure even just by me like opening up here and telling you how I'm feeling about it and being like, hey, this is something that I deal with. I know most of you are gonna be so supportive and lovely but there are gonna be people who try to find something wrong with what I said or be like, you did diagnose yourself. I can't. I'm not a medical professional. I physically cannot do that. Also legally I cannot do that. So anyways, I love the internet and I am really trying to give as much positive, positivity back into my experience on the internet because I genuinely love having this job. I love it so much. But there are parts that are really ugly and feel really like hostile. And it feels like a weird place to be sometimes, especially during a pandemic when you feel like you're sort of a punching bag or some people emotionally. But what I will say is that the majority of people who comment on my videos are so supportive, so lovely, so wonderful. I really want to highlight and pay attention and like shine the light on that right now because oh my gosh, you guys are so incredible. You guys are so wonderful. I mean, you guys helped me get my dad vaccinated. You've helped me on places that I've traveled around the world and given me recommendations. You've really been there for me. Like you've been so supportive and so wonderful and I genuinely feel like we're friends. I just kind of wanted to make this vlog a normal vlog but somehow it's turned into just me sitting on my bathroom floor with my pajamas in the background. I'm about to go film some more B-roll for another video. And it just started, I was just trying to vlog like normal and then all of a sudden like my period pain started getting really bad. It has helped since I sat down by the way. But it's funny how like I just really intended for this to be normal and now all of a sudden it's turned into like me ranting about just how bad my periods are and hopefully my deepest hope in making this video is to have somebody relate. And if you are in a position where you're able to go get medical care and get it checked out, please do. That's literally the first thing on my list when this pandemic is over or when it's safer to go to the doctor. I would rather deal with my period symptoms than potentially get COVID. So I'm just waiting for that time to pass and I will be getting more medical stuff, investigations done, testing, et cetera. And so I'm never going to pretend that I have something I don't have. I think that's pretty obvious, but I mean regardless. My hope in this video is just that if you're going through the same thing that you can relate, sometimes there's really not much you can do. The other thing is birth control. But unfortunately, because of these like weird, I get these things. I think they're called ocular migraines or migraines with aura. I was told the last time I went to the gynecologist that they put me at a higher risk for blood clot and stroke, strangely. So I'm not able to take any kind of birth control that has estrogen. So I was taking a progestin only birth control for many, many years and I just really didn't enjoy the side effects. And it didn't really help my periods at all anyway. So the other option is a copper IUD. And a lot of people had mentioned like that as another form of birth control. And unfortunately, the side effects for a copper IUD are like heavy bleeding and cramping. And I genuinely, I would be concerned for my safety. Like if it were any worse than it is now. I mean, it's so bad. And see, it's like, I'm already talking about this just being honest, I'm already talking about this anticipating all of the bad things that people are gonna say. And that's just something that I've gotta work through in the therapist because that's just how my brain has been trained at this point. It's been trained to be like, there are gonna be people who find something wrong with what you say. They're gonna misinterpret your intentions and they're gonna take it as you being evil or try to catch you in something or whatever. And I'm just done with that shit. I've really been enforcing some boundaries with Instagram recently. I don't even feel the need to explain myself that much anymore. I will just straight up delete or block. Because yeah, it's like you're a guest in my home and I'm not going to change something about my home that you don't like. If you don't like it, you can go to your own home and change it, you know what I mean? I know I keep having to like re-center myself over the last couple of years and be like, I miss the old me. Like I miss how carefree I was. I miss how much I didn't care about what people were gonna say. And I'm truly like channeling that bitch now. There's a difference between like, if I do some problematic shit, please call me out. Please call me out. I'm not like exempt from that. I'm just talking about like the nitpicky dumb shit. Okay, so anyways, this vlog just needs to end I think because this has turned into a weird random bathroom floor rant that I did not anticipate. But I'm just, I think I'm just gonna leave it here because I really want to have a good productive conversation in the comments. You all are just seriously amazing. And I just am here to say that I love and appreciate you so much. I need to actually go lay down. I was gonna film some B roll for a video but I need to just, ugh. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for listening. If you have any like remedies or things that really help you during your really rough periods, please leave them in the comments below because I would love to get any advice that I can take. Seriously, if you are a person with a period, please leave me your remedies down below because your girl needs help. So anyway, you are not alone. If you're going through this, I love you so much and I will see you in the next vlog. Bye.