 And we're live. Hi, I'm Matthew Coast and I'm here with the beautiful and amazing Laina Hart Hey, everybody. How do we know that we're live? We're live and Today we're gonna be talking about How to get a guy to see you as relationship material? There's been a lot of confusion about this and so I Thought we thought that we would come and talk about what it means to be relationship material to a guy And so so why would you even care about being relationship material some women don't in fact? I'd say that there's a huge portion of the population That doesn't care about being relationship material to a guy, which is really interesting You know when the age of this hookup culture, right where lots of men and women a lot of Women think it's just men and a lot of men think that it's just women and It really it's everybody right everybody right now is Into this hookup culture thing where they're just you know meeting each other and going back to the house and hooking up and You know it's kind of created a lot of confusion In the dating space because there's a lot of women that come to us now and they're like oh well You know this guy Wants to go straight over to my house after you know either meeting me or just talking to me online for a little bit or Getting my phone number You know these guys like I was talking to a woman not too long ago And she said that this guy like they went on this date and as soon as she got in the car with this guy That she just met he was like trying to make out with her right and she was like whoa You know and he's like oh, well What do you think we're doing here? You know and she's like I don't know I thought we're gonna talk And he's like yeah, well, we're you know, this is this is what we people do is we hook up You know we you know do this and she was just like okay. I'm getting back out of the car and so Hey Bonnie, how's it going if you're here watching us make sure that you say hi If this is the first time to our channel Make sure you go and hit the subscribe button to get more videos on how to have the relationship You've always wanted we're talking about how to get a guy to see you as relationship material and so You know why why is this important it's important because if you want to have something real if you want to have like a Committed relationship if you wanted to lead somewhere if you want to have a love With one guy, you know, and you want him to keep you around and you want him to look at you as that One amazing special woman in his life you need he needs to be able he needs to look at you as Relation as somebody that he wants to have Like that right if he doesn't if he looks at you and he thinks of you so there's we talked about this In a couple other videos about this kind of these different stages that a guy puts a woman into Yeah, like the different categories one of the categories is like this friend with benefits or casual relationship category that Women get put into with a guy and then like it's when a guy comes and sees you like the first thing that he sees is You know is she somebody that I'm attracted to you know She's somebody that I could potentially be in a relationship with and so if he's physically attracted to you That's like step one right, but if that's as far as it goes right if he meets you and all of a sudden He feels like you are not somebody that he could be in a relationship with then He will pursue You for something that's not a relationship and so a lot of women are like well if he you know If we have if we sleep to there there was actually a comment on our youtube channel not too long ago where this woman said well If I sleep with a guy he should expect that there's all of a sudden these expectations around him and We're in an age where that's not Anywhere close to being the truth right if you meet a guy two people meet each other and they sleep with each other The assumption the expectation there is that there won't be a relationship Relationship right and if you don't if there's not a bunch of things that happen one being that he sees you as relationship material It doesn't matter what you expect He is going to be in just casual relationship mode And if you start trying to force him to start acting like he's in a relationship with you There's a really good chance that he's going to freak out lose interest and leave and so Yeah, that's why it's important to make sure he's put you in that category and sees you as relationship material before just Jumping in a bed with him right and get men will you know start acting like they see you as relationship material That's not the only kind of indication that you want. There's a bunch of other things that are going on there But so the other thing that this does is it kind of separates you from all these other women out there, right? So, you know, like I said the assumption right now is that people are just hooking up and if you go to hook up with a guy you're just hooking up and There literally is no other thing to it And so if you want to separate yourself from all those women that are just hooking up with dudes Then you he needs to be able to see you as relationship material small So that's that is there was there anything else you wanted to say about why this is important No, I think you said it all that was great. Should we just go into that? Well, we're gonna be talking about five qualities that make him see you as relationship material. Yep five qualities Hey, hey Tamara. Hey pixie doll Yeah, so Thanks for being here if you're here with us just throughout a hey or you know, I'm I'm with you guys That's my favorite one. I'm with you guys and so Yeah, we're gonna be talking about some things here around You know, what makes a man see you as relationship material There's a lot of confusion around this, right? And so the confused one of the big kind of points of confusion that a lot of men and women have actually is that People think that What they want is what the other person wants, right? So a lot of women tend to there's this there's this quote that was made Not too long ago. Well, it might have been a while. I have no idea how long ago it was but there was a woman that said we're turning into the men that we wanted to marry and a lot of women like they look at men and they're like, okay There's these certain traits that men have that I'm attracted to where if I wanted a real relationship That's what I'm looking for in a man and a lot of those women kind of start creating that in their own lives Just kind of naturally now that we live in this society where, you know, women are out in the workforce and droves Kind of compared to before and so that they do all these things, right? Like they they end up making a lot of money. They have nice cars. They You know, they have great jobs, they have all these different things, right that They are kind of attracted to and look at as relationship material in men And they think to themselves. Oh Because I have these things that I would be looking for in a man for a relationship material Maybe that's what a man is looking for in me. Yeah in order to be in relationship They're like, yeah my life together. I have a job. I can support myself. I you know take care of my kids whatever it is and That a lot of my clients are that way really successful the super smart women who you know are like amazing catches But they don't understand why these men aren't committing to relationships or why they're not attracting men who are interested in a serious relationship Well, and the things that we're gonna be talking about today are things that over You know over the line are things that on both sides are important for somebody to See another person as relationship material, but we're going to kind of get away from that That mythology that's out there that a lot of women have that you know If I have a successful job and I have a nice car and I have a big house and all these different things that Maybe a guy should see me as relationship material because that's that's some guys do you know it kind of depends on How masculine the guy is or how feminine the guy is how responsible the man is You know how mature the man is as to what kinds of things he's looking for It's not you know clear-cut across all men You know, I might I bring up my brother sometimes, you know, I'm glad he doesn't watch any of this stuff But my brother is like, you know, if you see him, he looks like a man's man You know the guy's got like tattoos all over his body And he's like at this big beard and he like drives a motorcycle and he's like, you know, you Does CrossFit and stuff and and it's funny to talk to him because he's kind of got this weird Feminine thing about him right now in his life and where he's like, I just you know, it'd be great if I could just like You know stay home and Have a wife that like went out and worked Hang out and like hang out on the couch and like watch TV all day And it's it's it's just kind of it's really fascinating You know, it's fascinating to see kind of these different perspectives and and men are different You know, all men are different just like all women are different women don't want to be all put into one category Yeah, men don't all want to be put into one category That's not to say I mean you can be like crazy successful and super smart high powered type a kind of woman in your career and Be feminine with a man and attract a masculine man You can absolutely have it both ways You just need to learn how to be with men in order to attract that that kind of man towards you Right And so one other thing that I wanted to mention before we start getting into the five things that we have that Help make a man see you as relationship material is that what men Think that they want Versus what they're actually attracted to can be very different sometimes Right, so so this is this happens across all playing fields, right? So when women included like do you know do you know a woman who's like, yeah I really want this kind of guy who's got all these different traits and then next thing, you know She's like in a serious relationship with the dude. That's totally opposite. Yeah, right or do you know a guy? Who says oh, I want a woman who's got these different characteristics and next thing You know, he's getting married to some woman who you think is a psychopath And it's it happens all the time, right? Because what we think that we want and what our biological drives And emotions are attracted to and make us go for can be two completely different things sometimes And so you have to keep that in mind, you know if a guy's like, you know I used to have buddies all the time that would be like, yeah I just want to check that'll like hang out and play video games with me and like go to the bar and get drunk and drink Some beers and stuff and you know and they never end up with women like that because that's not really what they're attracted to Also like this I call there's a psychological piece behind that, too It's like a lot of us most of us are kind of constantly and unconsciously Pushing love away or we can be depending on what our programming was earlier in life So we can say we want this close connected relationship men and women both do this and then you know somebody shows up and that doesn't feel familiar or something like that and so We can be pushing away the very love or the very relationship we say we want or we think we want to It's important to become aware of some of that stuff as well Yes, so Leo might join us here in a second. So Taz Tazam Tazam seven says can you get out of a friend with benefit zone? Once you've been put there in there for a while. That's a yeah, that's a really great question So so you can right it's possible to go from a friend with benefits Relationship to a serious one with a man It's not likely But it's possible right and and I've seen it happen many many times But the it takes something it takes a switch right a man has to switch There's a switch that has to happen with a man where he Starts to realize what well that there's a bunch of different things that that have to happen right one one is It kind of depends on where the guy is right if a guy has is only doing casual Relationships because he has serious issues right which a lot of people have Serious issues if you've been out dating, you know that lots of people have serious issues We're we went to this place yesterday, and almost everybody there had serious issues And so, um, you know, there's it it really depends it depends on What's going on with the guy? You know it is he is is he in a space where he could be in a real Relationship or is he in a space where he's only in A space where he can be in a friend with benefits kind of situation because of whatever issues That unresolved issues that he has going on right so most most men this has been Studied by what's that big research company? I can't remember the big research company Gallup Gallup Gallup did a poll on men and they found that It was something like 87% of men out there Said to to Gallup that they are looking they you know They do whatever numbers or whatever and the percentage was like 87% of them said that they want to find a woman that lead you know that leads to a real relationship that could possibly include getting married and settling down and having kids right and If you know coming from the men's dating space What I found was that most of the men that I talked to About this and I talked to lots and lots and lots of men about this and we did our own polls and and We found that Most men wanted real relationships They wanted to find the one and get married and settle down and you know have an awesome life with this Special woman, but they didn't feel like that woman was out there You know they like I used to have I have a friend that I Used to talk to all the time and I'd always ask him about his like his dating and relationship situation and he was like He'd be he'd talk about these girls that he was like trying to hook up with or whatever and He would always I'd always be like yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool, man But but you know are you trying aren't you trying to like find like what if you found a really cool girl? Would you like you know get married again? You know because he's been married and divorced twice now And he was like he was like like you don't he would always turn into the serious tone Right and like he'd turn over you know he'd stop and like look over and be like yeah, man Yeah, yeah, you know if I thought I found the one You know if I thought I found some amazing woman right and then you'd always hear something like but I don't think she's out There right and this is this is what guys say typically right and they're it's the same a lot with women Yeah, you know we hear the same thing with women all the time, you know I meet lots of guys, but I just don't think that there are any good guys left I just don't feel like there's you know these men that I really would want to settle down with and so this is a big Problem, you know across the spectrum here. There's a lot of women that Can't seem to find a guy that they want to settle down with and there's a lot of guys That can't seem to find a woman that they want to settle down with so Yep Okay So let's get started talking about these things. Was there anything else you wanted to say about that I Don't think so that was a great question though We get that a lot with the friends with benefits. Can that turn into a relationship? So maybe we could explain like when we get into some of these Like how to do that because it is like a mindset switch that has to happen with a man. Yeah, a man has to start so one of the things that we talked about around commitment right is this thing about investment and And at the same time One of the things that you have to decide is what you are Are willing to accept into your life, right? So if you want if you're like, hey, I'm in the stage in my life where I want to get married I still want to have kids I still can't have kids and that's something that I want you need to know that right Before you do any of this stuff because it's like okay. Am I with a guy that's Going to think of me that way right because a guy can get into a casual relationship and treat a woman like he's in a real Relationship, but his he doesn't have like a label on it, right? So you can get into a relationship with a guy and it's like a real relationship but he never calls you his girlfriend he you know, he's never gonna ask you to get married and You know, he doesn't really want to have kids and so If that's something that you're okay with Because there's a lot of women that are right and if that's something that you're okay with you need to you know Have that in mind when you're seeing this guy or seeing any guy But if you if it's really important to you to get that label the girlfriend or that label of you know Getting married, right or you know having kids or any that kind of stuff It's something that you need to think about and know beforehand Because it's you know, like I guess we're so we're talking about Going from a casual to a relationship and one of the things that makes a guy Start switching that mode is his investment in you, right? So the more invested he gets in you the more he'll start seeing you as this woman that he never wants to let go of right this and and Then comes a lot of the other things that we're talking about but a guy has to invest in you if if you want him to Feel like you're somebody that that he doesn't want to get let go of So or if you want a committed relationship, so yeah, so let's talk about these These things okay. Yeah, so these are the five qualities that make a man see you as relationship material and put you in that category Yeah, and so so I guess, you know, we're we're actually just talking about this so we might just Move into number one which is allowing him to be the masculine energy partner, right? And so this is what makes a guy invest in you, right? So if a guy is not Investing in you. It's because he's it's probably Because he's not the one who's being the masculine energy partner in the relationship And so what this usually looks like when it's not happening is it usually looks like you're the one that's putting in all the effort Yeah, right you're doing everything you're planning the dates you're calling and texting him You're getting him to meet up with you You're you're buying him things, right? You're buying him presents. You're doing stuff for him You're you know doing service-based things for him like Getting him things and stuff like that and if you stop doing that you get the sense that it would just fizzle We get comments like that all the time like well if I stop texting him I think the whole thing is just gonna fade away. So right right and it could because he's not invested exactly Right. He has no investment in the relationship. And so if he's not invested, you know It's it's like we use the analogy a couple of weeks ago in one of the videos about how Like people like do these investments, right? And this is kind of this is probably a horrible analogy I was just about to say it well if so if you like so there's a lot of people that will and like an investing world Right, they will they'll spend money They'll put money into these investments and the more time and energy and effort that they put into an investment The more that they'll the more likely they'll hang on to it no matter what and so one of the big Problems in the investing world that people have is that they will buy a bunch of stock and Then it'll start going down and there's like these kind of triggers that you're supposed to look for right like it hits a Certain level and then you sell everything right and these people will it'll hit a level and they'll hold on to it because they're like No, this is the right stock. I spent all this time and money and energy and effort picking this stock I want to keep it. You know, I know it's gonna do well Right now, I'll stay with it no matter what and so they'll take the ship all the way down and it they'll end up losing all their money and the stock will completely crash and they'll they'll be totally out of it and You know, it's a bad it's a bad analogy because I don't want to you know Look at you like you're this investment that's going down, you know But but but it shows you how investment is important in Having somebody feel like they're attached to something, right? so the more that he's invested in you the more energy and effort and time and money and You know just everything around his energy is being put into you the more he'll feel like no matter what happens I don't want to let it go right and so if if you know when you know You start opening up more and more things are coming out and you're starting to talk about, you know Issues that we all have by the way When you start talking about those things he's less likely to freak out and run When he starts hearing them If he's already invested in you whereas if he's not invested in you He's more likely to just start running away because he you know, he isn't he has no investment He doesn't care. It doesn't matter. He's like, okay. Well, she does all the work anyway, you know It's nice, but that's it right, right? I mean just like for us So it's it's I think it's a human nature thing we value what we've worked hard at we value what we've invested in more than something That just comes easily To be honest, you know, and so how do you do that? You have to allow him to be the masculine energy partner That's where we did a whole live stream yesterday on Feminine magnetism leaning back into your feminine energy So if you want to check that one out, it was you know, a lot of people really like that one But when you stop doing all of those things that look like the masculine energy things that really gives him Well, it does two things it first it gives him a chance to step up and invest in you and if it if he doesn't You'll be able to see right away whether or not he's interested whether or not He's looking to pursue you if he wants to be in a relationship with you It gives you a lot of information about how he feels about you and where he's at and what he wants Yeah, absolutely. So is there anything else you wanted to talk about as far as the mask? Does anyone have questions? Yeah, I mean, there's there's a lot on this yesterday Riley says he doesn't have any issues except for car issues Yeah, the the stop loss. Yeah Bonnie, that's that's what we're talking about So you know what? I did want to say yeah So so allowing him to be the masculine energy partner You need to demonstrate that you can receive from a man because men really fall in love when they're giving to us They masculine energy men really can't fall in love when we're Leaning forward and over functioning and giving to them. They fall in love when they're giving to us So if you can just really lean back and let a man give to you let him make you happy Let him invest in you a lot of women are uncomfortable with that and it feels unnatural Because a lot of us kind of grew up placing our value or our worth on what we and what we can do or accomplish Or give to others so for I know just for myself for a lot of my clients at first the idea of a man Giving to you and wanting to make you happy and investing in you just because of who you are Not because of what you can do and give to him is kind of a foreign concept So so that's why it's important To demonstrate that you can receive from a man in order for him to invest in you. Mm-hmm. Yep. Yeah, absolutely Yeah, so so that's that's the first one is Allowing him to be this masculine energy partner and giving him space right creating this space For him to do that and opening a space up I think the analogy that we used before was kind of creating an invitation. Yeah, right? So if I like to think about it as in like So I come from a family of hoarders Which is kind of funny like I have this We have this barn that is on my aunt's property that is just filled with stuff Right and one of the things that I noticed is that Whenever I like have a live in a place. It doesn't matter how much space I have It's like I fill it up with stuff right and Kind of the analogy here is creating opening up a space right so that it can be filled with a man Right so that a man can come and and fill it and there's this thing about creating an invitation and invitations I think are really really powerful and It's kind of one of the ways that you can Have control over things without trying to control things In the feminine space, which is creating an invitation and inviting him to go and do things right so One of the other kind of analogies is this A lot of women think that Guys are the ones that make the first move right and they don't Usually most of the time guys are not the ones that make the first move Like if you are in a bar Most guys are not going to approach you. There's a Small percentage of guys that will approach every woman in the bar Right and he will talk to you and you probably he probably won't be the best guy for you But most guys Won't approach you unless He gets some kind of invitation from you right unless he Knows for a fact that you're going to be friendly to him When he comes over and talks to you and so usually it's actually the woman Who makes the first move if you want to call it a move and what what what it is is it's usually a glance It's a look. It's a smile Right. It's a proximity location type of thing um, and uh, the guy You know gets excited about it There's some curiosity that's created and then the guy moves forward and everybody's like oh The man has to make the first move and it's really not the guy At all that's usually an interesting way to think about it But you can lean back and be an invitation You can be totally in your feminine energy and also be really inviting and warm and receptive to a guy Yeah, and so, um um So so the second thing that we're going to be talking about here is value right being valuable to a man So the more valuable you are to a man The like there's these different levels that he sees you at depending on how valuable you are To him right and so it's uh the value is based on him and what he wants Right and what he sees as being valuable and not what you think and this this is going back to the thing That we're talking about before with like oh, I've got a nice job. I've got a nice car. I've got all these nice things Um, and you know, why isn't he interested in me? Maybe it's because he doesn't value that right in a woman Right, maybe he's got those things and so he's like oh, that's cool You know, I'd love to have a woman that's not in debt You know, I'd love to have a woman that has her own vehicle and has these things Um, but that's not like my primary concern or my primary the primary thing that makes me Desire her. Yeah, that's not what attracts him to her on a deep level right and so, um, you know the more valuable you are to a man The the more he'll start seeing you as a special woman, right and um, so uh and and it takes it so It you like the more that so for instance, let's talk about this for a second. Um, one of the things that um All the like a lot of women are doing out there right now. It's just hooking up with lots of guys, right and so Um, if you do that, right so hooking up with a guy is not a special thing Right he that's not differentiating you from women. That's not making you more valuable than the other women It's making you the same Right and I think you know right now in this whole hookup culture thing I think a lot of women are devaluing themselves By just hooking up with dudes and I think that women as a gender is kind of being devalued um in men's eyes because they're just out there hooking up with guys and so, um Uh, you know, there's a lot of things that are valuable to guys and one of them is sex, right and um, So just giving that to him immediately Um, it kind of devalues you because it's not something that he's striving for anymore And so what instead what you want to do is you want to um, you you want to hold on to that Right that whole sexual piece until he starts seeing other forms of value in you Right and once he sees these other forms of value in you, um, if you're into uh, we had somebody complaining about sex before marriage One of the other in one of the other videos and I get I know that there's a lot of women out there There's there's some women out there. I don't know how many but there are definitely some women out there that are like Don't have sex before marriage. Um, if you're doing that for religious reasons or whatever, that's cool Um, but most of the women that I think are in the community and talking to us and Getting our advice and stuff. They they aren't following that principle. Um And I don't think arbitrary rules are good, right? There's a lot of arbitrary rules out there We talked about this in other videos and I'm not going to make fun of, uh, uh, Steve Harvey anymore But uh, uh, so so, um, you you want him to see other forms of value, right? One of the big forms of value that you have as a woman is your emotions, right? Your femininity, right? And uh, You as a woman, right? You being connected to your womanhood and there there was actually in our last live stream Yesterday where we're talking about femininity. There's a woman that left a comment talking about how she met this guy who was in his feminine when she met him and then, uh, You know She was in her feminine and it kind of like made this switch happen in him, right? Where all of a sudden he started like taking on these masculine roles Because she was in her feminine and he was so used to women being in their masculine And his mom was in her masculine and all that kind of stuff and all of a sudden he like started appreciating her a lot more, right? So the the, um A value value, uh The word appreciation, right comes from uh, like my favorite definition is the the one that comes from economics, right? Which is to raise the value of something, you know And so the more a man appreciates you the more he sees you as valuable and this man started Appreciating this woman a lot more because She was in her feminine. He'd never really experienced getting to be A masculine man around a woman who's in her feminine and for a man. It's just so hot I mean, it's just so attractive, you know and uh, we can't As men we don't connect to our emotions the same way that women do And there's a lot of different things about being in that that men feel is really valuable and Not having to worry about the whole feminine side and being able to be in our masculine side. It's it's really comforting It's really Empowering for us. It feels really really good. Um, there's some Like we were talking about yesterday There's there's kind of this we're in this world right now where more Men are in their feminine and more women are in their masculine than ever before in history And uh, there's there is some resistance to changing or doing something other than that because of a lot of different things including politics and just all kinds of different things that People yell and you know hate on us for on our channel And It happens a lot though Like I have I have a lot of clients where they uh end up in relationships with men and the men Say things like uh, they feel like their masculine side has been awakened because the woman is in her feminine And and like matt was saying like that feels really good to a guy when he you know He can feel masculine He could feel like a man So if you're able to do that this kind of goes along with the first one allowing him to be a masculine energy partner But if you can kind of um awaken some of those feelings in a man You're adding a huge amount of value to his life. He's not going to want to lose that, you know Yeah, absolutely Now you can come in all uh, you know all different kinds of forms. Should we talk about that? Like what how else could um You want to talk? Yeah, like I mean could it could be anything could be like support companionship I'm thinking I'm trying to think of other forms of value that she can provide Um, like you said, he needs to see these other things before You would advise her sleeping with him, right? So what are some of those like well? So one of the things that I I think we should talk about here that I think is very important And I think a lot of women kind of miss out on is the topic of boundaries Right and having boundaries and setting a standard Right and so a lot of women kind of confuse this whole thing because they're like, oh, I deserve this I want this. Um, I you know, I I deserve a man That's this way and that way and all these different things and when you kind of shame a man into You know saying that you're valuable and to try to make him feel like you're valuable It doesn't really work very well. What does work is having boundaries, right? So setting boundaries saying that you have boundaries talking to him about your boundaries Right before you go on a date like so for instance, let's say that you are going to go on a date with a guy and You don't want to sleep with him. You don't want to stay out really and so you tell him Uh, before you go on the date, you're like, hey, just to let you know, I need to be home by Whatever such and such time right because I have to wake up early in the morning and I have to go to work and you know, etc and um, and then when you go on the date Um, you know seeing what he does right does he respect those boundaries if he doesn't respect those boundaries How do you respond? You know or do you let him know that you're like, hey I'm serious about this right because a lot of guys will try to push those boundaries, right? But a boundary tells a guy Um that you you have standards and that you you look at your you respect yourself Right and you look at yourself as a valuable human being and that uh, you expect other people To look at you as a valuable human being as well And so uh, we we can probably do an entire video on boundaries But if you trust yourself and you trust your boundaries and you have them really secure I like to think of boundaries as like on the inside Not on the outside like this wall that we can tend to build up around ourselves if we're not feeling strong or if we're not trusting ourselves on the inside so um When you have those boundaries on the inside and you feel great about them you're able to communicate them That's what allows you to be feminine and soft and uh an invitation on the outside You know if we don't trust ourselves and we don't you know, trust our boundaries That's what makes us kind of like rigid and second guessing our every move and but if you trust your boundaries and trust yourself and stick to them um That's you can be more like playful and fun and flirty because you know Where that that line is for yourself Yeah, and and so boundaries. I just wanted to say so boundaries are probably one of the most uh, One of the best ways to show that you're valuable. Um, there's a lot of other things right how you communicate with a guy Shows how valuable you are. Um, what kind of an experience that a guy has when he's around you dictates how valuable you are um There's a lot of different things right how how um How attractive he feels you are so it's not necessarily how attractive you think you are But how attractive he feels that you are right determines how valuable he thinks that you are to him There's a bunch of different things that that determine value. Um, and uh, we we kind of need to move on here So, uh, let's move on to number three. Uh, so there's five of them here. There's five five things We're talking about how to make a guy see you as relationship material in case you're you're just showing up Or you're new here or something. Um, if you haven't subscribed make sure you hit the subscribe button On the bottom right hand side of this video to get more videos on how to have the relationship You've always wanted and click the bell notification as well in order to get more videos Okay Okay, number three. Am I a crazy person? I might be a crazy person I'm just used to it. I'm like It doesn't even faze me Doesn't faze me So the third thing here on how to make a guy see you as relationship material is something that I call alignment And it's very important in terms of getting a guy to commit to you as well Right and getting a guy to see you as somebody that he Wants to be with and can be with in the long-term distance potentially forever until we die together future, right, which is a more big thing to talk about but um Yeah, so uh, uh, so what is alignment, right? So it's it's Having this ability to grow together, right? So can we grow together, right? It's not necessarily having the same goals, right? You guys can have different goals But can we work together? Can we are we growing in the same direction, right? Um, There's a study that was done. Oh god. I can't remember who did this study. I really should have looked it up There's a study that was done on uh functional long-term relationships And uh, it was just what what they determined was the most important factor in these relationships and working was um The ability to grow together. That was the number one thing Uh that determined how long a relationship could last was whether um The two people were growing together or growing separately, right? And so growing separately and what what a guy looks for when he's talking to you Or hanging out with you or spending time with you on this is um, a bunch of different things, right? One is kind of like um Uh, is does she seem like a crazy person to me and maybe not crazy like me um, but a different kind of you know, I mean like, um, there's like uh dramatic, right or like, um Like she's all over the place we Yeah, we're hanging out we're hanging out this place last night and there's this there's this uh these people that were We went to go sing karaoke last night because I just love karaoke and there's this table of people in front of us and there is this There's this big dude there and he like came over and started talking to us and there's a bunch of other people there And there's this woman there and the dude is like, uh, He was talking to us and then One of the guys was talking to the girl and then the girl like ran off and then yeah, she got mad The guy was talking to us or it's who knows storm off. Who knows stormed off. Nobody knows what she was angry about Um, but she was angry and she stormed off and the guy was like, uh, and then he took off And we were like, oh, you know what was going on? He was like, yeah, I was trying to hook him up with her and blah blah and then next thing, you know, she came back You know and then she was like doing this weird stuff and then, um, I went up and started singing a great song Which apparently nobody was paying attention to because there was a bunch of drama going on over here Where this girl got really angry that this other that big guy was talking to us and then she storms off again You know and everybody thinks maybe this is the last time she'll storm off Wrong, she comes back right and who knows what was going on. We at some point we were like, okay, we got to get out of here This is weird. Yeah, whatever's going on here is going downhill quickly And so we had to get out of there and that's kind of like that's like a man's worst nightmare Right. It's like this woman right here. Um is like she's losing her mind. She gets angry. She's crazy She storms out. She comes back in. She's happy. Nobody knows what's going on. Yeah, right and you're just like, um Uh, you know the it it goes past this line There's like a line of intrigue, right where it's like, well, this is kind of interesting And then it goes and then it's like, okay, this is beyond interesting now. This is not okay You know and and if it's happening to you, right if you're the guy in this situation with a woman like this It's you know, like if it keeps going it's like, okay, I have no interest in this anymore I'm just getting away from this as quickly as I possibly can um and Going on this Um, okay, so uh ability to grow together. Um, so another thing is uh, you know, um The masculine the masculine is this thing that goes after stuff, right? So it's this uh, it's this force that's on a path and um, the masculine tends to look for uh support, right and like who is supporting me in my venture in life and um, uh if uh If you become a really powerful nurturing force For him and who he is and who he wants to become and like lifting him up and saying, you know And being there for him and saying, yeah, you you are a uh, you know, you can be Come this great man One day, right? If he feels that way for you and there's a lot of Kind of verbal ninja, you know voodoo stuff that you can do that we talk about in some of our programs about how to do this Uh, a guy will feel like he's very close to you, right? If if he feels like you believe in him He will feel like he's closer to you than sometimes anybody. He even knows I used to have this program that I did when I was in college where uh, we would let Peep everybody show up and they would kind of talk about a lot of the things that they're working on in their lives And what they want and who they want to become and all these things and people would come to me all the time Especially guys, they would come to me all the time Uh, some of them be crying and they'd say, hey, I've never been able to talk about any of this stuff before with anybody ever You know, my family doesn't want to hear it. My friends don't want to hear it They all think that i'm crazy and that you know, they want me to just stay the same and not grow and not become a better person And so if you can be uh, this force for man where you're kind of uplifting him and you believe in him and you um You know can see who he's become not falling in love with who With his potential loving him for who he is but believing in him that he can become who he wants to become Most men don't have that in their life at all. They don't have that social network like We you know, like I've said in other videos Like if I had a problem like there's like, you know 10 people I could call up at any moment and talk Endlessly about it and not feel judged and and get good advice most men don't Open up to people. They're not vulnerable Well and a lot of men if they try to do it with their peer group their peer group will make fun of them Exactly, you know, like it's this funny thing to make fun of men um in our society for whatever reason if they uh open up and so it kind of Shuts a lot of men down right and and so you have to remember that when guy when you're with guys Is that it's not like being with a woman You know it being a man and being open and you know Kind of talking about aspirations and stuff isn't acceptable in a lot of places Isn't acceptable for a lot of men to do. It's not acceptable in a lot of peer groups It's not acceptable in a lot of families So you have to remember that when you're with somebody and and you know look at them as You know, what kind of a background do they come from? What kind of a background does he come from and is it okay? So if you can be that one person in his life or that one woman in his life that he feels he can Grow with and he's becoming a better person because of you. You're kind of inspiring that or supporting that In him that's going to add a lot of value to his life and he's going to he's going to definitely see his relationship material Yeah, so uh, there's some questions here, but we're Kind of running out of time. So we need to move on here. Um, so if you're if you're just Chiming in here. We're talking about how to get a guy to see you as relationship material Um, and we were just talking about number three out of five Which is alignment and getting him to see that you are somebody that he can grow With and be somebody that's on his journey with him in his life Um, which is really really a powerful thing to have because a lot of men don't have that at all. Yeah anywhere Yeah, um, and so when guys see somebody that's like on that path. It's like They'll get really close to that person, you know, and you see this sometimes you see this with guy You know bro relationships where guys will like me. I I had a bro relationship for a while Where uh, I had a a friend of mine was like we're we were on the same path, you know And we were we became best friends like instantly, you know, and it was just really really awesome having somebody with me Who was like on the same path and we thought we had totally different thought processes But our like our vision was similar and so it was like this, you know, we were just we became Like best friends instantly. It was really really cool. Um So number four Is uh, you integrate really well into each other's lives Was that is that the same thing we're just talking about? No No, uh-huh. Here we go Okay, all right guys so integrate really well into his life, um Uh That one's kind of self-explanatory. I don't we don't have to talk forever about that one right you integrate well into you fit in well with his Uh family and friends you're not trying to replace his family, but you fit in well with them You're easy going you're easy to you know get along with it. It's it's easy. It's not there's not a bunch of obstacles Thanks for picking up that right I'm like, what are we even talking about here? Do I know what i'm talking about? I don't know what i'm talking about I need to look at what i'm talking about. That's all we really need to think about. Yeah, I think it's true, you know, like, um Uh, you know one one of the things that is around this is not pulling him too far From his masculine purpose right and so What what happens a lot of times with guys that are dating women and you'll hear guys complain about this all the time Just constantly complain about this is that like oh, I i'm dating this woman And she's always trying to get me to do things right get me to do things that I don't want to do And especially if a guy is in a business situation where he's like an entrepreneur or something This can really be it. Um, but it's also sometimes in like hobbies and stuff where a guy's like, yeah This is something that I really love It's really important to me and I want to spend time doing it and if you're somebody that encourages him to do it Or you're somebody that can spend time with him While he's doing it that can be incredibly valuable to a man You know just being like accepting that he's into this thing that he does Right as opposed to like trying to get him to go off and do something else um One of the complaints that a lot of guys have is it's like this brunch thing right where guys are like Women always try to get me to go out on brunch with them You know and I just want to you know do this one thing that is my hobby or something that I'm passionate about Or something that I love and she's like trying to fill up my day with stuff That is like these random Activity things that I don't want to spend my time doing right and it's kind of like pulling him off of his path or whatever he's trying to accomplish or his masculine purpose right it's like pulling him away from that and uh when you do that it's really um It's really gut-wrenching to a guy and he it's not it's not one of the ones that makes him not see you As uh that that you know would put you in this casual relationship category It's one of the ones that makes him go. I can't be with her at all in my life um, and if if you're pulling him completely away from his masculine purpose, um That can happen. So, uh Was there anything else I think no, I think that's probably the most um self-explanatory one this last one is I would say one of the most important ones. Can we move on to that one? Yeah, yeah Okay, and that I'm choosing the Elena really wants to go move on usually that's you to we switch today. Yeah, you know, we need to move on So let's move on. All right The last one is um choosing the connection and choosing the relationship Over being right or over getting your way in this one moment So a lot of times if you're not agreeing on something you can't come to a compromise you um It can be easy to cut off that connection because you are just trying to push and shove a guy into getting your way Or into proving that you were right about something and um often when you just like tend to the connection and the relationship All of these little things kind of fall into place But if a man sees that you can do that over always having to be right or always trying to Manipulate him into giving you what you want in this one instance um He'll start to see you as a relationship material for sure Yeah, absolutely. Um, so we have a lot of different questions here. How do we tap into his journey? Oh, that's a good question. Guru ninja Uh giving examples. Yes. So the sets asking about that Uh Thanks third. I don't even know what that means. Hubba bubba Nice name. Oh, are you talking to somebody? I don't even know what's going on right now Um, but yeah, so uh choosing the relationship over being right. So I had a mentor Um, who used to say to me she used to say, uh, you can either have a great relationship Or you can be right, but you can't have both and it's kind of I think it's um I I I I have a hard time talking about maturity because I don't want to shame Being immature or you know try to There's there's this movement of people that are like, um have decided what they think Maturity is and what immaturity is which isn't necessarily what maturity and immaturity is and they shame like being immature Um for being mature and they're not really even being mature about that Which is why they're shaming somebody because they're immature Uh, did I just jump through a group? Okay. So anyway, the point is is that um Um, it's very immature to come from the space of being like I want to be right And it's really important to me to be right and it's so important for me to be right that I will damage and harm and You know hurt this relationship So that I can prove that I'm right And it's it's a really Uh, and this pops up in many many different forms. Yeah, yeah men do it too. It's not a it's not a gender thing We we can all want to do this. Yeah, everybody does this everybody um everybody really they put this righteousness or like um, you know knowing something or uh thinking that they know something and then it like it's an ego involvement thing and that and that's why it's a Has to do with maturity is because it's an ego involvement thing, right? You don't want to be seen as looking like Uh, you're you've been wrong or that you don't have good ideas. Um, I feel like we're being really abstract right now You think so? Yeah, maybe maybe um But uh, yeah being right or if you if you ever feel like you're like, uh, You're really focusing on being right. Um Just try to let go of that, right? There's there's this uh thing that um I was taught once and it was like if you're if you're right Don't mention it and if you're wrong Apologize immediately Right and and it's like, um, I found that it's been one of the most beneficial things to my relationships that I've ever ever had It's just you know being like, oh, yeah, I was wrong, you know, and there was actually something There's actually something earlier that we did yeah like an hour ago where where uh, we She thought something and I thought something else. It was youtube actually had to do with the subscriber thing And I was like, um, and I was like, no, I don't think that's how it was, right? And she was like, um She's like, no, no, it is and I like went and looked and it was like, oh and I was like, yeah, no, you're right You know, it's true. You you're you were right about that You know and it takes a big person Um, and I wanted to just call myself I'm a big person right now But it does it takes a big person to to admit that they're wrong. Yeah, right and to um admit that somebody else was right and People will take righteousness all the way to destroying a relationship completely Because they're like, I want them to know that I was right, you know, and it's just it's not worth it It's not worth it. Yeah, it feels actually feels good sometimes to admit that like, oh, oh, it was wrong about it Well, it's like letting go or something. You know, it's like it's like, okay I was wrong and I don't care. It's not a big deal You know, I mean like and and we could get into a fight about it And I could hide and pretend and you know do all this stuff and do all this manipulative thing or whatever To try to make sure that you see that I was right or I can just let go and be like, I don't really care I was wrong. Like what's important here. I'm wrong most of the time Yeah, that's that's what I found Um, and when I'm right, it's cool. No, it's cool when I'm right. I like it, you know, it's fun But you know, it's it's it's not that important. It's not more important than the relationship It's not more important than my friends. It's not more important than than anybody that I'm yeah So what that's what's important is and like I said before if The connection is if the relationship is really strong the connection is Growing and it's all feeling good these little things here and there aren't gonna matter all that much Because your needs are going to be getting met, which is what we all want, right? Absolutely, we want our needs to be met and so that's it That's the five qualities that make them see you as relationship material Um, if you guys want more information on uh, how to attract the man that you want and keep them You should join our program feminine enchantment Go to feminine enchantment.com and check that out Our beautiful and wonderful Helena hard right here is the uh, she will answer your questions every week About whatever's going on in your situation And so if you have issues that you want to work on and you need some help you want some advice uh, Helena will help you with your stuff because it's it's one of those things where um, There's there's a quote that goes uh It's hard to see the picture when you're inside the frame Right and so if if you're trying to figure out what's going on with you and trying to and you're you feel like you're stuck And you can't figure out what's going on What you usually need is an outside perspective to look at it in a professional outside perspective who knows what's going on knows what works with men and can really help you Change your relationship and we've had some amazing Feedback from some of the women that have been a part of our community Feminine enchantment and it's like, you know, we have women that are just change that's changing their lives Big time results. Yeah massive results where you know, they're flipping things around Where once they were the person chasing after men all of a sudden they have men chasing after them Where once they you know felt like they couldn't find a guy all of a sudden they had men all over them You know where once they felt like they were in this relationship where a guy was just stagnant and he wasn't moving forward All of a sudden he wants to propose or get married or you know He's the one investing and putting the effort into the relationship And so if you really are interested and you're serious about having the relationship that you really want Go to feminine enchantment.com Watch the video that's on there and sign up for the program. It's a great program Yeah, and we'll post a link to that in the description of this. Yep. It's in the description already. So, okay, perfect Yeah, so, uh, thank you everybody for being here. You're the best part of our community Uh, we love you so much. We love all the great comments We love the likes that you leave on our videos We really like it when you share with your friends and you get them involved too We're on a mission here to have better relationships to to heal the pain That's going on between men and women to to write the wrongs to fix the bad to make the good happen We're here to help heal the relationship between men and women and You are a very essential part of this whole thing that we've got going on and and so I just want to thank you So much for being here. Thank you for being on our live stream Thank you for asking questions. Thank you for leaving comments and just just thank you. Thank you so much We love you guys. So, um, that's it and we will speak with you again soon Yeah, thank you. You said it all that was amazing. Bye everybody. Take care, everyone