 Chances are if you're watching this video you're probably like me all those years ago and you're very very introverted I mean even to this day I still consider myself an introvert But what I was doing back then that was really preventing me from succeeding with women was that not only was I not taking action But I didn't even feel like I had the ability to do so for me when I define what an introvert is Which I it's not exactly the same thing as being shy shy people can be Extroverts actually too. They just they get energy from being around other people If you're an introvert and you go to a party or you go to a social gathering You're probably gonna feel pretty drained quickly an extroverted person will feel more energetic They want to talk to more people and hang out with more people and that sort of stuff and for a long time I was that guy that would go to a party that would feel Drained and super tired and not really want to talk to anyone feel nervous I had a lot of social anxiety when it came to talk to people The reason why you're feeling tired is because it takes a lot of effort for you to talk to someone because there's so much shit Going on in your head, you know you start thinking about a million things that could be going wrong And I was one of these people too and so I felt like I was going out with some sort of handicap I felt like everyone was on steroids and I was the only guy who wasn't shooting up You know, I just had I just had a disadvantage and I didn't think I was gonna be able to keep up So in this video I'm gonna tell you about all the steps that I took to be able to change myself from an Introverted guy who wasn't successful with women to someone who is not only successful with women But also kept his identity. So the first thing that I did was I told myself that Being introverted is not an excuse to live in fear. I'm gonna say that again Being introverted is not an excuse to live in fear for a long time I blame the fact that I was an introvert on the fact that I wasn't getting any girls the fact that people didn't Like me and I wasn't you know, you didn't have any friends or anything like that For a long time I used it as an excuse when I stopped using as an excuse when I said, you know what just because I'm introverted Doesn't mean that I shouldn't go up and talk to people That's why I started changing and the mindset shift that I did at this point was I stopped saying hey I'm introverted. I can't talk to people. I started saying hey I'm introverted, but I can be social when I have to be That little mindset shift allowed me to start tackling the problem start going out start talking to people start improving my social skills Second thing that I started doing and I probably should have done this sooner Was I stopped focusing on myself and started focusing on others stop focusing on your own self The more that you go in you know into your own head the harder It's going to be one of the biggest points when it comes to getting girls is getting out of your own head when you're out people have So many of my students the one thing that I'm trying to unravel with them is that when they're out They have a million things going through their head and dude I can totally relate to this Exactly how I was when I was going on to bars parties and those sorts of things I would be constantly thinking about all my looking stupid right now I bet people are looking at me like I bet this girl thinks I'm you know stupid or or not cool or a loser or a Beta male or whatever all these negative things that were going through my head I was thinking girls were thinking those things or guys were thinking that whoever it was once I stopped focusing on Myself and started actually paying attention to the people that I was talking to noticing certain things that were happening Trying to make other people have a good time That's when I was able to actually relax start being myself and well what I mean start being myself I was be my best self And and actually be able to enjoy the conversation and have a good time The things that are taking up so much energy are the things that are going on in your head The more you can reduce that the more energy you're going to have talking to people And then you're actually going to be present in the interaction and a lot of times get more energy from that later on So how do you do this? Well the first way is start focusing on other people, but also meditation Practicing presence practicing being present what that means is you're not thinking about things in the past or the future You're thinking about things that are happening right now, and that's what meditation does for you It stops you thinking Before you go out stop thinking about a million things that could go wrong You're gonna give yourself paralysis by analysis and that's one of the biggest problems I see with guys that are introverted there to paralyzed by their own Analysis and this is good in certain areas like I find introverted people to be very smart very analytical But it's not good when you're in social environments You have to stop thinking start doing some practical tips that I help out with this besides meditation are when you start the night When you start by going out start by talking to people that you know, we're gonna give you a good interaction Like for instance if you're going out to the bars or the clubs or something like that start by hanging out with your homies talk to them Too many of you guys you start out by just standing there and doing nothing with your buddies Start by talking with each other pick yourself up Maybe you run into somebody you know and pick your up pick yourself up that way if you're going out by yourself Start by talking to people that you know are gonna give you a good interaction These might not be the cute girls at the bar. These might not be the hotties These might be some girls you're not interested in these might be guys Okay, but I talked to all of them and the more positive interactions I get the more like oh hi five the awesome meeting you man like people laughing at your jokes that all these things will Give you more energy so that when the hot girl does come around that you're interested in you're in a good state of mind You have good energy and you can go about it and be your best self to her But if you start talking it like if you just walk into the bar and talk to the hottest girl And she like just regards you and just just walks away like you're gonna feel drained from that You're gonna you're gonna have less energy So what I would recommend that you guys do is start by doing things that you know We're gonna give you more energy so much of this and one of the biggest advantages that extroverts have over introverts is their energy Throughout the night. They're gaining more. They're feeling better But an introverted person is feeling less and less energetic being less and less confident And so you can see why an extroverted person has an advantage in this area But if you start in an environment They know you're gonna be able to pick yourself up and you can even the odds And the last thing is something that I already really mentioned which is relaxed dude A lot of introverted people feel like they have to do so much when they're talking to a girl They feel like their natural self is not going to be good enough So they have to crank it up ten notches and it becomes somebody totally different than they're usually used to being This is what's going to take a lot of energy out of you This is what it's gonna make it seem like it's so hard to talk to women because you're not comfortable being yourself So much of pick up so much of getting girls is learning to be your best self learning to express that to people And once you start doing that you're gonna be able to have a lot better time when you're out And you're gonna be like infinitely more successful like the results are just Exponential it's it's really startling what somebody can do once they embrace who they are and it takes time It takes practice which brings me to actually that wasn't my last point Which is you just got to practice like I said if you're living in fear and you're not going out You're not doing the things that you need to be doing it's gonna be really difficult for you to do this This took me years to figure out now if you're watching my videos and do my coaching program We'll cut down on that time. So it won't take you that long I'm this whole channel exists the whole program exists So you don't have to take as much time as it took me to figure it out But you you're still gonna need to go out You're still gonna need to talk to people and figure out what works and what doesn't work What picks you up what makes you feel good what doesn't make you feel good? And this is all part of the process so in the end I hope you're gonna be like me which is where you're still a closet introvert But you can turn it on you can be that extroverted person at the bar the club or whatever and there was a moment where I Remember I used to go out and I used to get very very nervous talking to people I used to think I was like a loser or I had all those thoughts going through my head I was always looking at other people having fun and figuring out like God like I wish I could just be like these people About a couple years ago, man. I turned around. I was at a party. I Turned around and I saw everybody else staring at me. They were looking at me the way I used to look at other people They were seeing that I was that cool guy talking to girls To be being the life of the party having fun Now I'm that person And it's crazy to think You know, so I hope that can happen to you guys All right Well, if you made today and consider subscribing I come up with videos like this every single week If you're a guy who feels like you're suffering from this issue We'll go we'll tackle through this. We'll figure out what negative mindsets are holding you back Why you're feeling like this what's causing this and we're gonna bring not only your confidence up But your skills of women up to practical and actionable advice. So thanks a lot you guys good luck out there