 80% of the time, they're gonna fill it in. Doesn't always happen. Doesn't always happen. So what do I do in those situations then? No situations? I'll give her a second chance. I'll wait for a few moments. Like I'm not gonna rush this whatsoever. I'm gonna take my sweet time looking at her well. And she's not responding. She's not giving anything back to me. She like looks away for a second. I might look away, take a sip of my drink. Ah stretch, show her I'm unfazed. Show her this doesn't bother me whatsoever. Then I might look back at her. So what do you think about that? I got a standard like three lines of questions. It's really simple. I had questions that I use. I don't ask very many questions. My first lines are, hey, what are you guys, or hey, how's it going? What are you guys up to? That's gonna be the first lol. If she's still not responding after that first lol, she's one of those weirdos who doesn't still. My second one is always gonna be, so where are you from? Where are you from is a great question. Great question. It looks boring on the surface, but it's so easy to just get deep. It's so easy to jump into, well, what was that like growing up? How did that, what was your favorite part about there? Like what are some of your happiest memories from so-and-so? Should I visit? Would you show me around? What should we do when we go there? Bring up childhood memories. Nostalgia always feels good. So really boring question, easy to get deep. And then I'll usually give her a third chance if she's still not responding, I'll try a third time. My last question is almost mocking her. My last question is almost mock. It's just, so do you come here often if she's still not doing? I don't try to get fancy with these questions. I wanna keep them as boring as possible. I don't like to think a lot. I don't wanna work hard. I'm not trying once again. I'm not trying to impress her. That's the last thing. That's the last vibe I'm trying to put out. I'm just hanging out and seeing what she's got. So my second follow-up is so, where are you from? And then once again, we're gonna talk about that. And I'm gonna, next we're gonna talk about what's going on in this whole like jumble of things and how you can maximize that and how you can get her talking with that. But you know, before we get to that, the thing winds down and there's that second lull, right? Second lull now comes and I'm gonna turn up the shame a little bit higher this time around. I'm gonna be overdoing my well. I'm gonna start, well. I'm gonna be really like trying to make her feel like, are you okay? Like, is there something wrong with you? Cause, do you know how this works? Like I'm not saying this, but I'm essentially through, I'm communicating this through my look, through my facial expression, through my hands, trying to get her to fill that second lull. And once again, you turn up the shame. You do it a second time. Most girls are gonna get it. I'll say like 90% of girls will fill it in that second time if you give it to them. She's gonna get the hit. Oh, okay, that's my turn to contribute now. I get it. Once again, I reward her. Big hug. Oh, you're the best. Look at you, right? And then third, and if she still doesn't, if she still doesn't fill it in, I'm really taking my sweet time. I might just, you know, say goodbye at that point. For whatever reason, I wanna give her a third chance. That's when I'll really be like, so where are you from? You know, I'm just really just overdoing it. I'm almost mocking her at this point. It's just almost like, who are you? Like, are you a human being that's ever communicated with other human beings before? More to come in those situations happen. But for now, like I said, the majority of the time, they will fill in that space if you leave it for them. So that's what I said. You do anything in conversation tonight. Like make them feel that shame. Force them to contribute equally to a conversation. Don't just try to talk their ear off, try to impress them. Number one. So what's next? How else? That's teaching her how to have a conversation. How else do you get her talking now? The next best way, verbally of course, to get her talking, and this goes right back to my Amsterdam experience, the next best way to get her talking is what I call being fully present. Being fully present, letting her know that there's nothing else that's more important in the world than her right now. Women's number one complaint about guys in bars, conversationally, number one complaint. I feel like he's not listening to me. I feel like he's just waiting for his turn to talk. Number one complaint by women in bars. He's not listening. He's just waiting for his turn to talk. Same thing, right? You're trying to make it about you. You're trying to think, oh well, oh I got this next line. It's going to impress her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's rounding it. It's like you're just waiting for a keyword that you can snag onto. Great, got my keyword. I know what my next question's going to be. I can make this conversation go longer. Done, I can tune you out. Great, that's really nice. Awesome, sweet. So what do you think about that? She knows. A woman knows when you're not listening. A woman knows when you're just waiting for your turn to talk. So the next number one thing you can do to get her talking more is to let her know you really are interested in what she has to talk about. For real though, genuinely. I don't care about what I'm going to say next. I can't even think about what I'm going to say next. It's all that matters is what you're talking about right now. No agenda, I'm just fascinated. Now that's a little, it's basically just active listening. But if it was so easy, we'd all be doing it already. So I have some techniques that I find are very helpful in helping you be more present. Helping you be more really tuned in to show her that nothing else matters and she is, whatever she's saying is the most interesting, funny, important thing you could ever roll around in your brain and think about. So first one of these techniques. And you may be familiar with this if you watched my speech from last year or were present for last year. I talked about it right at the end. I called it buffering. You might have seen this. And what this is, instead of just saying something else instead of rattling off, you just say, really? Or is that right? And then just leave a pause and look at it more really? Huh, that's really cool. Just making this a little comment. That's so interesting. Huh, right? There became a little bit of a problem with this stuff. Guys just became buffering robots. Like guys would just go out, really? That is so interesting. And just saying it without much thought. So it kind of lost it's, it lost a little bit of its glow. So the new way that I describe buffering, I think really helps seals up those holes I left in it from last year. And it's what I call the overly empathetic child listening to a story. If you ever want a great example of a listener, take any kid. People love kids because when a kid's listening to a story, he doesn't have some agenda. He's not wondering like, oh, what can I say to get this person to like me more? Or how can I make them laugh afterwards? Or what can I, what can I do to, you know, kids are just like tuned in. They don't have any hidden agendas. They're just solely focused on, this is so cool. Right? I would like to say, you know, if you're telling a kid a story and you, it's your good storyteller or whatever and you said, and you know, and then the monsters jumped out and the kid will like literally jump out of his chair. Like, oh my God, monsters. Right? The best example of listening I could ever provide. That kid is so tuned in to what it is I'm talking about, to what it is I'm feeling. He's literally feeling it 10 times as strong in his own body. Like the kid just shit his pants. That's how strong he's really tuned in and really paying attention. There's no better example I can give of listening than that. So I always like to say,