 When you stop giving in, the narcissist does this. From the moment you met the narcissist, you did everything you could to accommodate them. You did everything you could to make them happy. And while they may have acted as though they were happy with you in the beginning, it was only a matter of time until they made you feel like what you were doing wasn't enough. No matter what you do for the narcissist, they will never be satisfied. You cannot please this unpleasable person, and it is not your job to do that. It is their responsibility to manage their own emotions. Happiness is meant to come from within, which is why no matter what you do, they never seem to be happy with you, but of course, they will try to make it seem like it's because of something you did or something you didn't do. They always hold other people responsible for their emotions. They're like emotionally immature toddlers. It's too painful for them to deal with, so they run to their parent or caregiver. They throw temper tantrums because they're emotionally underdeveloped. They lack the emotional intelligence to be able to deal with their own emotions, which is why they're always running to you. They're always holding you responsible for how they feel. It's like they see you as their parent. They want you to manage everything that they don't want to deal with. But then they also want to manage you. They want to make decisions for you. The more time you spend with a narcissist. The more that they will exercise their control over you. They will hold an authoritative and dominating influence over you. They will want to be in control of everything that rightfully belongs to you. They will even try to claim ownership of it. They overvalue themselves. They think they're doing more for you than they actually are. When really, your life might be so much easier without them. They have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and importance, which results in them having a strong sense of entitlement. They believe that they are inherently deserving of privileges and special treatment, which of course is always going to be at your expense. Because although they may act grandiose, deep down they don't really believe that they are capable of achieving anything on their own. That's why they're so dependent on you, and yet they complain about everything you do for them. It's never good enough, but they still want you to keep producing because they are secretly quite comfortable with the way things are. If they weren't, they would have left a long time ago. A narcissist is never going to remain in a situation that isn't benefiting them. They might say that they care about you, or it's because of the children, but really it's all about them. Whatever is more convenient for them, whatever fulfills their needs, but even while they're leeching off you, they will be criticising you. There will always be something wrong. There will always be something that needs to be fixed or resolved. You always feel like you're not doing enough. Because that's exactly how they want you to feel. It keeps you running on this endless hamster wheel. Where you are trying to please them, where you are trying to make them feel comfortable, when they're actually more comfortable than they've ever been in their lives. They're just not telling you that because they don't want you to stop. But of course they're comfortable when you're doing all of this for them. They could just sit back and enjoy the ride. If they were not comfortable in this environment, they would just leave. They wouldn't want to be around you. Narcissists are known for walking out when something isn't serving them. If they're not getting what they want, they will just discard you. But when they are getting what they want from you, why would they ever leave? You're the one who will have to leave them. It will be a struggle to get them off of you. But just because you're providing all of these conveniences to them, it doesn't mean that they're going to praise you. The narcissist doesn't want you to know your worth. They have to keep you doubting your qualities and abilities. Because they know that something of value demands a certain level of treatment. But they don't want to give anything to you. They come around you to take from you. When they targeted you, they made it out like they were there to help you. As though they were going to make your life more convenient. When if you look back, you will find that you have lost far more than you would have if you had never got involved with them. A relationship with a narcissist is characterised by a tremendous amount of loss. You lose everything. And even when you've lost it all, and you're just trying to rebuild, they're still waiting with their hands out. Because this is just their character, they're like tramps. They travel from place to place like a beggar. They beg habitually for a living. They live by asking for money or food. And they expect you to give it to them. They expect you to give them this life that they could never create for themselves. They need you to feel of them. To keep them alive. But naturally, this will take a toll on you. It will cause harm to you. It will put you under a lot of stress. And the narcissist isn't going to care. They might not even notice how it's affecting you. Because all they can think about is the profit. All they can think about is what they're going to be getting out of it. So you can just run yourself into the ground for all they care. They don't even know how to treat something of value. They don't know how to maintain it. They just expect you to keep tuning out everything for them. Or they just sit back and enjoy their lifelong vacation. Anything they do for you will always be exaggerated. They always act like it's more than what it actually is. While they will minimise anything that you do for them, they will act like it's nothing. But if you were to stop doing these things, which are supposed to be nothing great, you would then realise just how important they are to them. Because the things that the narcissist acts like are not a big deal, are usually the very reason why they remain around you. They play down these things. But they are actually very important to them. You will realise how important something is to someone. When you take it away from them. That is when you will see just how much it means to them. When you take your attention and focus away from the narcissist, it will drive them insane. When you take away money or cars that you're providing for them, they will lose their mind. While the entire time, they acted like you were a nuisance. Like they couldn't stand to be around you. Because then it keeps you looking at yourself. Rather than realising that they're not bringing anything to the table, they're not doing anything for you that would benefit you in any way. And that is why they act the way they do. That's why they're narcissists. Because deep down they know that they don't deserve anything from you. They know that they haven't done anything to earn it. The narcissist acts like everything you're doing is not a big deal to them. But when you stop giving in, that is when you will realise just how important it is to them. It will cause a narcissistic injury. They will become very angry. They will threaten to expose you. As though you're doing something wrong, by not wanting to be their doormat, they will threaten you with court. They will threaten to take the children away from you. They want you to think that you not giving in is going to be more costly for you. It's going to put you at an even bigger disadvantage because that's how they keep you locked in. That's how they keep you under their control. That's how they keep you under their influence and authority. But if you call their bluff, that is when they will resort to desperate measures. They will go after your reputation. They will try to turn people against you because they don't want you to be good enough for anyone after they're gone. They want you to be gone and out. They want you to be finished. That's the difference between being with narcissists and healthy relationships. Healthy relationships can also end. But when they do, they want to see you thrive. Even if it's without them. But the narcissist wants to tear you apart. They don't want you to leave with everything that you are and move on to another situation where you could be happy because they know that they're never going to be happy. They know that they're predestined to be miserable. But they know that you have the capabilities to be so much greater than anything you have with them which is why they hold on to you for dear life which is why they do this when you stop giving in. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coach Think Choirs. You can email me at coach.nartiviver.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.