#StillBisexual - Robyn Ochs




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Published on Sep 23, 2016

#StillBisexual is a social media and video campaign that aims at dispelling one of the main misconceptions about bisexuals — that they don’t stay that way.

Filmed in Boston, Massachusetts
August 28th, 2016


Music by Nicole Kristal and Aniela Perry.

Video transcript:
Just before I turned 18...
I realized I was most definitely...
I was terrified.
I didn’t know what being bi would mean for my life.
I feared it would cost me...
I was terrified.
And so I remained silent.
Finally, at age 23, I told one person.
Then another.
And another.
Finally, I was OUT!
I felt SO much better.
I moved to Boston
Found a job at a university
(Lots of universities here in Boston)
At my first job, I didn’t mention my girlfriend.
I didn’t tell anyone I was bi.
I was afraid of how my co-workers might respond.
At my second job...
I heart that the boss was upset...
That an unmarried couple was...
...living together. (gasp!)
A man-woman kind of couple.
I decided it would NOT be safe...
To come out as bi at this job.
I didn’t tell anyone at work I was bi.
At my 3rd job, I decided
I could be silent no longer
It was time to come out at work.
I waited an entire year.
Why did I wait?
I was afraid my sexuality would...
...distract people from my competence
I was afraid people would...
Judge me.
I was afraid people would...
...see me as less professional.
For a year, I didn’t tell anyone at work I was bi.
Then I finally came out.
What a relief!!! ☺
A few of my co-workers made strange comments:
“How does your partner feel about sharing you with other people?”
“Why do you need to tell me this? Sex has no place in the workplace.”
Huh? I wasn’t talking about sex...
I was telling you about my identity.
I am telling you who I love.
Do you realize...
That you talk about your marriage all the time.
I want to be able to talk about MY life, too.
Did you know that bi folks...
...Are much less likely than gay men or lesbians...
To be out at work.
Still, it was a relief to be out.
Finally, I felt whole.
I went to a meeting of a new employee group...
...formed to address workplace issues.
Facing lesbian & gay people
A few of us pushed to make sure “bisexual” was included in the group’s name.
“Bisexual” was added. Yay!
Still, some people continued to say “lesbian and gay.”
That made me feel...
But I stuck it out.
Of the 30 or so regular members...
...I was one of only two out bi folks.
Whenever someone would say something offensive to bi people...
...everyone would turn and look at the two bisexuals...
...waiting to see if we would say something.
That was BAD ally behavior.
They should have spoken up.
There were a few other folks in the the group...
...who I knew identified as bi, too...
...but they didn’t feel comfortable speaking up.
That made me sad.
The group stopped meeting.
Fast forward several years...
We started a new LGBT employee group.
Bi folks—like me—were visible from the start.
Because of us, our employer made significant policy changes to support LGBT people:
—transgender health care;
—workshops and trainings
—training healthcare providers about our needs
—and so much more.
Bi folks were welcome and visible in leadership.
For a while, I served as co-chair of this group.
My presence and my outness...
Made a difference.
It’s important to show up.
It’s important to be visible.
It’s important to speak up.
Invisi lity really hurts us.
VisiBIlity really helps us.
Speak up if you can!
By being visible you will make a difference.
You will be a beacon.
I have now identified as bisexual...
...for 40 years...
...so far.
I am silent no longer.
I am #stillbisexual


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