 Welcome back. This is why in the morning, and of course, my name is Ram Agukko, if at all you're just joining us, this is the next conversation of the day. It's all about matters concerning your relationships today on this morning conversation. We are coming to you live from the broadcasting house. Keep talking to us. The hashtag is why in the morning at Ram Agukko at Y254 Channel. Today we are asking the question whether it is okay for a man to receive money from a woman that he is dating, from the girlfriend or from the wife, in regards to handling his affairs. Is it okay as a woman to take care of your man financially? As a man, are you okay being under her care? Let's talk about this particular issue. I am with Dennis Marsharia, who is next to me, Karibusana Dennis. And of course, to my far right, I am with Simon Imbugwa, who is an artist and a small-scale business person. Karibusana. Thank you, thank you. And of course, the hashtag as always is why in the morning, keep talking to us. What do you think about this particular issue? Is it okay for a man to be under her care? Let's talk about this. Let me start with you, Simon. What do you think about that? Is it okay for a man to be receiving money from the woman, the girlfriend or the wife? Mr. Ram, like I said, first of all, I think it depends on how many marriages you have. If you have a marriage, maybe the guy, maybe he has a job, you know, maybe he has a job in Portia. In that situation, maybe he is allowed in some way to come and be married. But if they are dating, like when you go to date, like I said, he has a wife. You know, he has a wife, and then the lady, I think he is allowed in some way to come and be married. In that case, it means that the lady has provided him with a job. But in terms of dating, he is allowed to have a job. But you guys are dating, that's your gulf, that's your, you're dating, so it is not okay if you have money. I think it depends on who I am, you know. Maybe there are some weird reasons, like maybe you don't have money when you get married, you know. Maybe, maybe when you get married, you know, you have a wife who is sick, you know. But you know, if you have a date, you can actually, when it's a date, maybe it makes sense, maybe we do just for fun. All right. Dennis? Actually, like he said, it depends, but personally, I wouldn't agree a lady would be giving me money all the time because according to the topic, it's being under the lady's care, completely, entirely. Actually, there are repercussions for this because one thing, there are different forms of respect, okay. And a man needs to have his own respect, you see, man's respect. So if the lady is taking care of you, kill her, cut her, you know. So, if you have a girlfriend, you don't have to say anything. Because maybe, you know, if you have a husband, you don't have to say anything. So, your respect for your husband is not to be hurt because you are not in the same situation as me because if you have a girlfriend, your friends, everyone seeing you as if you can't handle your family matters and everything, you know. So that's one reason why you shouldn't accept a woman to take care of you completely. So like, what, how much do you have? You don't have money. How much do you have? Exactly. Because you are not a woman. Exactly. Because you are not a woman, you are not a woman. So that's what I'm asking you to do. You know what I'm asking you. You see, you need to stand up as a man, look for something to do. Or at least one, two, three, on a pata. You see, this is a hand on a pata. And if this hand has, in case, let's say the thumb is not there, or maybe another finger, it's hard to grasp something, okay? And lay queen, all the fingers are there, okay? So you, as a man, you need to provide at least one to three, and then how she brings into the table for five, for the hand to become complete. In that, that hand supposed to put, to push your relationship and keep you going, you see? I love the example of Metua. It's all about being under her care. And you've said, a hand, five fingers. You bring one, two, three, and she brings for five. What if you bring one? She brings two, three, four, five. No, let me tell you, no. That's another thing. That's another thing. Okay, you bring one. Yes. You see, you are a man, okay? Okay, you've brought one today, she has understood. But why be bringing one each and every day, and you are a man. You are a man. There's a reason why you were born a man, and she was born a woman. Let's go back to the Bible, okay? Okay. At least, let's, let's be, let's go back to the Bible. Kiasi, man was created first. Woman was created after the man, okay? And, okay, I'm not familiar with the verses, but I'm certain, and I've ever read Mahalukwamba, a woman was given to a man for the sake of being a companion to the man, or rather the helper to the man, right? So, the moment you, you forget your roles, and let her take over your roles, you're not being a man, she's becoming the man. And honestly, to keep the chamber visual Simon, when you are under her care, does it mean that she becomes the man of the house and you become... Like a... Like a kitty. Like a kitty. Like a kitty. I was told that I had to get a job, and I had to go to the market. I was told I had to go to Jamma, because I had provided for people who had invested in me. I was told I had to go to the market, but the market was still a home safe. Once you shut up and leave, you're going to have to go to sleep. You're going to sleep? Yes. You're going to sleep? Yes. Because when you see the house, you might not be able to come. Madam has a job. When you come, you might not be able to take care of your child. When you have a job, you might not be able to take care of your child. When you have children, you might not be able to go to sleep. When you have a job, you might not be able to come. When you have a job, you might not be able to take care of your child. Because you might not be able to work. So, you're going to be the housewife? Yes. So, for a real man, he might not be able to marry you. When he's married, he will marry you in a situation of poverty. When he's married, he might not be able to work and have a job. He might not have enough time to work and have a job. So, he might not be able to take care of her because he might not be able to take care of his child. You're saying she's the one who should pay for your rent, she buys you food, she buys you your clothes. She's the one who gets you going. You're saying she's the one who should pay for your rent, she buys you food, she buys you your clothes. You're saying a man can do this and a woman can also do the same. Honestly, to be honest with you, that's next to abnormal. You see, let me tell you something. We have cultures. There are some cultures that we need to evade from, others leave them alone, but there are some cultures that we still need to cherish and continue living in them. Like the role of a man and the role of a woman. Not in that dimension. About saying the role of a man and the role of a woman, you're going to bring even the house chores there. Anyone can do any house chores, but we're talking about providing for the family. Or rather, maintaining your relationship as a man and a woman who are in a certain relationship. So in that relationship, as long as financial is being concerned, a man needs to take action. So the moment the woman becomes the breadwinner every time, that makes the person less of a man. But the good thing is that it doesn't happen to many relationships. Sometimes circumstances might allow. Maybe it's because this person had lost a job or something had happened. First of all, I would like to object to what my friend said. Because even in marriages, a man needs to stand up as a man. Do you know this can also be a reason of cheating? If you don't stand up as a man. Do you know why? Because, let me tell you something. Amongst the pillars of marriage, the pillars that support a marriage, money. No, let me not say money because that would be a bit of greed. But financial stability is one of them. Call it as it is. Let's call it financial stability. When you say money, you might be having money, but maybe the woman's very greedy wants you to have more money. So you are saying the reason why cheating is this? Let me show you how. So in those pillars that hold a relationship or even a marriage, apart from sexual satisfaction, there is financial stability. So if you can't provide for this woman, she is taking care of you. All your needs are to be at your feet. You are going to eat, eat, and drink. You will be at your feet when you are at your feet. So, I know I am your wife. Now let's talk about the sexual satisfaction. So how can you tell her not to cheat you, yet you can't provide for her? Apart from that, this woman might be having different sources of bringing income and other secret sources. So she is taking care of you. She is taking care of you. You don't have any command or authority over her. Because she is taking care of you. She is taking care of you. He gave an example. She goes to work, you remain with the kids, you take the kids to school, you pick them back in the evening, you clean the house, you do the house chores, and laugh on the picker so that when she comes back, she finds the food ready. Would you be in a position to do that? I don't see any bad thing in that. I don't see any bad thing in that. Because the house is yours, the children are yours, the husband is yours and everything else. We don't want to bring a situation whereby the house is filled with people who are working. People who are working are sad. But for how long? Is it supposed to be a killer or a cut? Let's talk about that aspect of cheating. Do you think she will cheat on you just because she has more money than you? And are you losing control over her? I think the story of cheating is that maybe if someone is not satisfied, the story of cheating is that if she is financially stable, if she is able to do it, cheating and cheating are maybe in terms of attention. Maybe you don't give her attention. I love her because she has sexual satisfaction. She thinks she has attention. Maybe she will ignore it. If she complains about it, she will give her attention. She will appreciate it. So cheating is that if she is first of all with sexual satisfaction, she will pay attention and she will appreciate it. If she is not satisfied with her job, she is working class lady. If she gets a job, she will return home. But if she is too busy, she will have to make her colleagues work. Maybe she will be busy, but if she is not satisfied with her career, she will work. She will be satisfied with her job. So if she is not satisfied with her work, she will have to give her attention. She is like a flower. Will you be okay with that? This is my friend. But eventually, like he said, I come to the lady who wants to cheat on me. So, I... I feel sorry for her cheating. I don't want her to pay attention. Her compliments, her romance. She doesn't want to go to the apartment. Because she doesn't want to go to the stadium. That's the opportunity. But it's the same thing that men... A man just wants someone to control. Just, you know, some men look at money as a source of control. That he who gives money controls the relationship. And that is... That is where the problem is. What he says is, he who brings money to control the relationship and gives it to her, she will provide it to her. So, she doesn't want to go to the stadium. Because she doesn't want to go to the stadium. I don't have control over her. She will cheat on me. So, she doesn't want to go to the stadium. She doesn't want to go to the stadium. That's automatic. So, it's about control. That's automatic. Because... When you say, if a woman takes care of you in every way, if she tells you to do something, even if she tells you to do something, it will be hard for you to not do that thing. But when you give her money, so you want to control her. Because here we're looking at a woman who gives you money. You're saying that if you give her money, she will give it to her. It's an example, I'm saying. That if a woman is providing for the family, it's hard for you to not do it. Now, it's hard. But now, if the roles were reversed, and she gives you money, she will give you money to control her. But she won't be commanding. Again, you see, as a man, you still have that authority in you. You still have that authority in you. First, in fact, the previous point that you said on cheating, it's like you didn't understand what I was trying to say. What you're trying to mean is that, once you can't provide, because definitely you can't provide for her, for the kids if you have kids, or if it's a relationship, if it's a marriage, you can't provide, you can't make the marriage stand, not unless by the sweet words and everything. Man, there's more than those words. There's more than those words. And a large percentage of these people who are in such a situation, most of them reach a point and they are fed up of it. These women, they become fed up of it and they lose control or rather lose balance. And at times they may sit, somewhere have a meeting with themselves and then say, this man, I've been with him all these years. He's done nothing for me. He's never taken me to dates. You know, ladies are very fragile, let me say. They would like to be handled with care. And what makes you be able to handle them with that care, it's also showing how you love them. By buying them some stuffs, taking them out and everything. But you don't do that. She understands you the first year, the second year, all those years that you've been together. And then it reaches a point and takes an example. It puts herself in a French show, who now she's in a better life. So she will end up leaving you because you're not giving her the attention she wants. Yeah, because come to think of it, she's a lady, she's beautiful, well-figured and everything. She deserves much better, but you can't provide for her. She ends up leaving you or cheating you. And if she's going to stay with you, then that will be out of sympathy. But again, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying everyone, but some of them who are normally in such situations. Let's talk about the family aspect of this particular issue. Will you have a problem when your in-laws see that your wife is providing for you? Because you're under her care. That's a very big problem and more than embarrassment to yourself. Especially to the in-laws, to your in-laws. In fact, some of these people will end up discouraging your wife or your girlfriend by telling her, I'm sorry, by telling her, so what are you in this relationship? Are you the man of the relationship? So that's total disgrace. All right, let me come. What do you think? Your in-laws, your mother-in-law knows your wife is a breadwinner. Your mother-in-law knows how to answer. Your mother-in-law knows how to answer. Because first of all, when you try to have a relationship with someone else, you might say, there are people who don't know how to deal with it. They don't know how to deal with it. They don't know how to deal with it. So the two things that I try to say are the same thing. Because in-laws, in-laws, most of the in-laws are in fact, they are the ones who contribute to this. My in-laws are the ones who do it. So imagine you're a woman, a woman, and then first of all, you remember having a dowry. That's the in-laws who are taking care of the dowry. So when you come here, do you see what I mean? I love the fact that you've brought in the aspect of dowry. When a man cannot provide, and the discerning was the money, how do you handle that part of dowry? When a man cannot provide, the discerning provides, how do you handle the part of dowry? So it's quite tricky. Because imagine in-laws, I don't have a family who has a wife or a father. So it's a difficult situation. Because those in-laws are in a certain class. Maybe they're two or three, or they're hustling. But those in-laws are in your class. So if you're married, what do you mean by that? That's the future. So if you're married, what do you mean by that? But regardless of class, dowry is still expensive. Regardless of class. Yes, dowry is expensive, but what do you mean by that? The in-laws, if they're in the same class, what do you mean by that? Because if they're in the same class, what do you mean by that? Let's say you're in the same class. You don't have the money, how do you get it? I think dowry has a story. People are in the same class. All right. What do you mean by that? How do you get dowry? How do you get it? And you're under her care. Now, you see, when it reaches a point that you guys want to get married, people who make the correct decisions get married to each other at the right time. Without rushing into things. Because personally as a man, I wouldn't want to start a marriage when I'm not financially stable. Because how am I going to pay for dowry? How am I going to handle the family? How am I going to bring up the children and everything? I will only get married if I'm financially stable. So personally, when I get married, I don't want to push too much. And then I don't want to focus. See how you are. Let's just pause. Because no one will loan you the money because no one will give you the money. Because no one will give you the money. That's why you're talking to a relationship. This lady, you won't have as far as you're all of the same, you love each other and it's supposed to be of the same class. No, I'm not talking of the class, but let me tell you. No one will be subject to the other. But deep inside, we know that the lady is subject to the other. She is subject to the other. She is subject to the other. So if she will loan you the money, and then you will give it to her, there's some things you will say. But first of all, she will not take your money. And then she will not give you the money. And then she will give you the money. But when she comes home late, she will say, I will give it to you, but she won't let me give it to her. I'm going to ask them to give me some money and I will give them some money and I will give them money. Ok, that's a good question. What kind of money do you have to give them? Let me tell you something, sir. Ok, let me now tell you what's true. One of the main reasons that I would even tell our viewers, note, what are you saying, actually, you should stand up as a man, and make sure at least at a comma your girl is providing you also bringing something home. You see, because once you guys split up, break, some of these ladies, some of these ladies are going to destroy your reputation for good. Ok, they're going to be speaking all bad things about you, not all but some of them. Because they will even speak of even pretty things. You see, if they learn that your ring is meant to be your heart, if they know you're a man they'll ask you to imagine if you know that there's a place in your institution where you can be at your time. This is why they're doing it. It's sad. It's sad. That's very important. So that provide it a beauty like it a beauty come on a lot of things. So you try to to get into a confrontation and the because it a beauty maybe you are going to this is a result it has it I said I am I am I am if you come so if a woman is providing for you it a beauty come and I I what can see what you guys are saying and of course some of your feedback just a few because I'm seeing some in the comment we are not able to read all of them let me just sample a few that I as much as I can OK so you imagine you are Beautiful Janet many we have these beautiful Men should hustle for their families, period. Hey, Jeanette, uh-huh. Lapa, hey, this, uh, uh, Cuisvas Lepaporits, that's the name. Anasamati, makes some, makes some take for granted the love, forget the place as a man and finally breaks the woman's heart a night of the cycle of imaginary love. All right, Braden Paul and I said, my women would strongly say no and give names to such men, but that's their woman, no more, that's their normal lifestyle. Uh-huh, Maureen Wamboro and I said, I had to nangapesa, CC. Preheh. Ponawake. No. Hehehehe. Pre-Presenter Steve Shanty, I didn't want to nangapesa out. As an Asama Hatchama student how do you get that tangle the tangle the tangible the visible the realgeny Heheheh. hmmm. Pres pretty I said hushed up in the morning Nuki Zuoritsehe He has a good taste dey Ford collisions and mobile Then coo, cooPanda affair. And I don't know And I don't know RЗдpanda They gra thing and I say, I will give you the money the next day, but to see India further the next day. Priskarji peno, good morning, mimi sikubalyani nahi soala, mon amke anam pah mume aw boyu ake pesa labda, amunulie yiyo hana, but asimpe pesa. All right, mon afal safah, huru mon afal safah huru, and I say, any man being fed by woman is doomed. Men should learn to hustle on their own. Myaka Francis, if the man is totally incapacitated, nisawa, all right? We have Mishi Muhammad, and I say, all this kiawapi, kwa ni mimi ni mamayake? I say, am I your mother? All right, Joram atola, and I say, Kampomboi following the show. Thank you so much, Joram. Dantela Didanti, and I say, I'm a part of love, all right? And I say, I'm watching from Sierra County, number 041. Oh my goodness, but we can't judge my pensy here, and as long as them, anahu wezo, then let her find the boyfriend, ends his a pesa namwanaume ni yawatuote kwa inyumba, naza mon amke, niza kivya ke zili pitu anawa kati. Adimi lo kingori wa manguban, I say, kupewa daw, skilla siku. But kupewa daw na dem simbaya. Kupewa skilla siku, iyo ni konnisha piya wewem wanaume ukona kasoro, and you need to go to a mental health facility, all right? Julius Maena and I say, maia ikosa wa piya, kama ana make effort na kutaftaiake, but ukipata na fasya kuji toa, kwa poverty take it. Bona uteseke na iyo inyawae out, live a good life. Hey, all right. Ongin wa sama, oh, he's not a man. Cecilia Fever na sama, is he not a human being? Aki kosa wa piwe piya? At the Evans human, masipua man ku, men wa aslo on their own. Wow, these comments are so many, but yeah, let me just leave it at that point. Let me give you time to comment kwa, kwa izo ni zajime, skya sofa. Let me start with the nano-kono mic. Oh, yeah, yes. What do you think about the things that are on the same map as you, Ntundaw? Kuna mo niya mese maa pwati, aw piya ni wanadam, okay. Like, ku providio asimba, letun kwa ni mese maa ku providio asimba, but, is kue like, is hendetwa next in that, wuna pata, wu jama piya na take advantage. Wuna wana. Kuna wana wana jwa ku take advantage sana. Nasi wana ume peke ake, like in human nature, wana pata nga, umtu, wansu siya patole mtu ani zaku patiya kitu, wesa like wuna take advantage. Wuna wana, wumtu sii ni muraisi, ni kimi tisha do fly na nani patiya. Inakwa sana ni kauna, manipulati mtu. So, wuna take to advantage, kwa zata toa, suta mutiata toa, dha mutiata kupatiya. Comment, kwa kue, uta mese maa ku ani, Facebook na kuna jima mo jama mese maa mato, okay. Haste, Godwin, Godwin asimba. A chain of evil. Jawa yami at wesa pewa pese na bae, sasa ni ni kitaku tangaza. All right, comment there. Okay, you see, some, some, some of those who have commented, haven't understood the topic of today, it's that entirely under the woman's care, entirely. You have those who are supporting it, ni wana dani it's like a one-time thing. A one-time thing? Yes. But just to tell them that it's entirely like, monamke ako chaini ako kabisae, ako chaini monamke anaku handling everything, you see. So, that, that, that's not good. In fact, it's not healthy for you as a man, you see. Do you know how? Not, not saying about psychological health and my physical health, but you're held as a man, you know. All right. You happen to be more of a boy than a man. All right. You see, because if the lady is providing for you each and every day, all your needs completely, at the socks, at the, at the, like, Toyota and you and I provide, so it makes you become a lazy man, because it makes you become a lazy man. Thank you so much. That is Dennis Machari, Asante Sanna, and of course to my far right, Simon Imbugwa, Asante Sanna, thank you so much for joining me today. Nashkuru. And of course that presents to the end, let's not to a cheer up with you, because muda me tu panini. Asante Sanna, that presents to the end of this morning conversation right here on why in the morning, keep talking to us, keep engaging with us. And of course that presents to the end of the whole show right here on Y254. On behalf of everybody, everybody that ensured this show was a success. Thank you so much. God bless you. May God bless the work of your hands. My name is Ram Aguko. This is why in the morning.