 As a critical care paramedic I attend the more high-acuity jobs, the patients who are life-threatening, who are sick, dying, medical, trauma, our range goes across the board. Those memories cloud across a whole heap of different jobs at the same time and so Christmas Day I guess you remember because it was Christmas Day and we shouldn't be unwrapping a body, that's just not what we're there for. But on those times that you have to you know any number of the jobs that we go to where you've got patients and trapped in vehicles or dying or you know deceased on the side of the road it's horrific, it's traumatic and we feel it the same as everybody else feels it. Every one of them will stay with me like every one of those patients and again it doesn't you know matter whether they're old or young you're still exposed to it and to put someone in that position it's just horrific. So the worst day imaginable for them for their family and then wants to come afterwards if they survive. The toll it takes on anybody it's it's lifelong memories it's that constant exposure to that and some people have resilience and some people learn resilience and doing the job for 27 years I've developed a level of resilience where you focus you do your job you fall apart later you know and I don't think there's any one of us that hasn't fallen apart because of the job or over a job or you know a trigger you know you'll smell something and that will trigger that complete memory to come back. My message for people at Easter at any time drive safe remember the fatal five I say it's not worth killing for it's not worth dying for get there safely another minute another five minutes on the road it's not worth being dead.