 Welcome back to the second session. So the next chapter is about money, but then I thought we can combine money and fame together. So we will do that in the next week. So today we can move on to the next lesson that is lesson 10 on women. Don't you feel women is a blessing in the ministry? Isn't it? Today we are going to address about women. So the today's session will be mostly we are talking toward the ministry leader. Those are the pastors and the leaders. How to address women? How to handle them? And how we need to be ourselves cautious from the speakers in Proverbs 726. It says, for she has cast down many wounded and all who were slain by her were strong men. So we need to be very careful. We need to be very careful in this area, but you know, but it's not that we don't honor women. We are here to tell that we honor women. And at our church, we have, you know, most of our ministries have been headed by women leaders. And most of them are all part of our Bible college and you would have known them personally. So we honor them. Okay. But at the same time, we are very cautious. So today's class is for all the males, yeah, of our class. Okay. So well, so in this chapter, we addressed all the Christian men in the ministry, you know, aside. Yes, there is somewhere that we fall is for the money, but also women seems to be a major challenge for the Christian ministry leaders to handle. And we see this area to be, you know, a lot of casualties in this area. And they are defined that many have fallen in this area. So what is it? As the minister, the ministry leaders, the men, the Christian men have been attracted to these women who come to the ministry. They seek help from the pastors. So it is not like only for the pastors who are in the city or why the big church have these kind of challenges. But then this challenge is also there in the simple ordinary preachers in the villages and in the rural areas, because the temptation in this area is the same for everyone. So when we go on these mission trips and. When we we also have something called short term Bible college for all the ministry leaders and pastors in the rural area so when we reach out the rural areas to equip them in the word. We have a crash course of two months and you know it is an intense course from morning till night we keep teaching them the word it won't be like this. It will be, you know, back to back classes. And there we get to hear their heart here they challenges very simple people very simple. So we may think that the only problem that they would be facing is would be the finances. But then when they open their heart and when they share it is the real struggle is not only the finance but then it's the women. So these become the major areas that as a Christian ministry leader we need to be mindful of because there are many leaders have fallen many ministries have shed on because of, you know, falling towards having a weakness towards women. So we need to be very careful how we conduct ourselves. This temptation is there for everyone. But the only difference is how each one handles it. How each one handles it. It's not that God has not given us the grace or the strength to handle this area. It's sometimes we open door to certain areas thinking having overconfident saying that nothing will happen. I'm very strong in this area. The minute we say that I'm very strong in this area is where that we have paved a path to walk on it and see a fall in that area. This is something as a ministry a Christian ministry leader we need to be very careful. Personally, not much experience that I have in the ministry but with little that I know with little that I have. I've come, you know, from our college working among the students serving with them have here on their own words they share and in the walk of their life itself they have fallen and they've come back and shared it. So this is something that no one can be confident that I'm very strong in this area, not the one who's also teaching and preaching. We all have our own weakness, but then we all stand under the grace of God saying God help me overcome in this area. So when we share for men, I think even for the women, we also have our own weaknesses. We also have certain areas certain challenges that we will also go through. So when we, I mean, as we study, we study for both, okay, the men and women in our class, we can apply it to ourselves and the challenges are there. So here we see that do not sleep in Delilah's lap. In the book of Judges chapter 16 verse 19 to 20, we see that as she got him to sleep, that is Delilah to Samson, his head on a lap. She motioned to a man to cut off the seven braided of his hair. Immediately he began to grow weak, his strength drained from him. Then she said, the Philistines are on you, Samson. You woke up thinking that I go out like always and take free and shake free. He didn't realize that God had abandoned him. So it's not the first time that he's sleeping in a lap, but many times he's been sleeping. But this time he didn't know that his braided hair was cut off. The minute it was cut off, the strength started weakening. So the minute Delilah told Samson that Philistines have come, he rose. He woke up immediately, but then he was not strong as what he was before. He thought his strength would last forever. And he continued toying with what he knew that he should not do, but until one day God withdrew from him. And that is when you saw that the weakness and he had a major fall in his life. So we as a ministry leader, initially we may think nothing happens. Nothing happens if we see. Because knowing the scripture says even when we see a woman with our eyes in a lustful way is equal to committing adultery. So we need to be very careful with our eyes, be careful little eyes, what have you seen. We need to be very careful. Looking at a beautiful woman is not a sin, but how we look at a woman is very important. If you look at her with lust in our eyes and a desire in our heart and then, you know, keep pondering on that leads us to sin. So now what you saw, what you think leads you into action. It will push you into the next. When you allow it, when you ponder it on it again and again, then it will lead you to an action to go meet that person, talk to them in the form of ministry and then, you know, leads you somewhere else. And that's why, you know, the scripture warns us if your eye is sinning, pull it off with your hand sinning, cut it off. So very careful because it is powerful enough to destroy us completely. We need to be careful. We need to remind ourselves of God's work. So how do we come out of it? This thought is very common. It is there for everyone. This is one of the area, whenever we discuss it is one of the area it is so challenging. Many churches or many denominational pastors or priests or fathers have addressed this issue on the pulpit to the church believers saying that when you come to church, please dress appropriately, please dress appropriately. Because when they come friend to meet the pastor, meet the leader, ministry leader, they need to be in the modest of their clothing. Because one way they're guarding themselves, the other way they're guarding the other person, the ministry leader. Because the very site itself will be so disturbing for the ministry leader to go and minister on the pulpit or to minister the other people. So why should we be a cause of temptation? So as a woman, we should also be very careful in how we dress, how we conduct ourselves in the church, in the ministry areas. No matter which season, which generation we live in, there's something that modest dressing is very important. We need to see to it that we are need covered. And then for the men, as a ministry leader, if you are coming across this kind of challenge in your ministry, during your ministry or much later, whenever you come across this thought and we are going through this challenge, one thing that we could do is rebuke the thought from your heart by reminding ourselves with the word of God, with the scriptures. Because the scripture has the power to cast away the thought from our mind. Sometimes when I go through my own challenges in these areas, it can be different, it can be anything in our weaknesses. One thing that I have seen that worked with me is I keep claiming on 1 Corinthians 2.16 where I say, I have the mind of Christ. I command this negative thought to leave me in the name of Jesus. One thing we all know is by the wisdom that God has placed within us, we are able to discern what is right and what is wrong. The minute a thought comes to our mind and we know this thought is not right, even before it could grow within us, we need to rebuke it with the word of God. The minute we sing, the enemy will flee. He has no power over us, over our mind because we are the body of Christ, temple of the Holy Spirit. This should be in our mind and this should be our confession. The minute we confess, it actually brings much more awareness of who we are and how can we imagine, think or do like this. And that helps us to overcome such issues, such problems in the initial stage itself. So that we can abstain ourselves from every evil that has a temptation that the enemy can bring to each of us. I know it is not easy but it is a process but we all can do it. With this we will move on to the next point, treat younger women as sisters with all purity. So in 1 Timothy chapter 5 verse 1 and 2 we read that, do not rebuke an older man but exhort him as a father, younger men as brother, older women as mother and younger women as sisters with all purity. So here we see Paul addressing with Timothy who is overseeing a church at Ephishes. Paul is saying to Timothy, there are several areas that it is important as you pastor in a local church. So one of the important instruction that Paul gives Timothy is to treat the older women as mother and the younger women as sisters with all purity, with all honour. So when we treat them with all purity and honour, it is inevitable that as a pastor or a ministry leader we will not have any kind of wrong behaviour within us but then we will have a healthy relationship with everyone. And it is our duty that we need to pray for their needs, listen to their problem, encourage them and counsel. However as we do this we need to guard our heart and our mind and keep our motivation, thoughts and emotions pure during the process. Be honest with our self. If we sense any, if we sense our self inclined to any young women or if we see our self, if we notice any young women who have been approaching us with some wrong intention both ways. We need, immediately we need to avoid it. We need to stop that, stop having any kind of conversation. If you feel that you are inclined to any younger women it is better that you stop interacting with that person till you overcome your feelings, your emotions over that person. Second, if you see any young women intentionally with wrong intentions continuously coming and talking to you with some any kind of silly reason or having always a counseling issue or coming to you for counsel or for different reason and every intention you know as a human I think God has given us that inclination like we can make out what's happening between when we converse with a person. Is there a genuine need or is it simply to just to talk to us they are coming. So when we find that we should make sure that we, we assign this person to another counsellor. And also as a pastor as a ministry leader if any opposite gender okay it is the same for the men and for the women in our ministry if any opposite gender seeks our counseling. I'm not saying we should not counsel I'm not saying that we should not pray for them we can counsel we can pray for them. When we counsel yes once or twice you can counsel but you see the reason is persisting or this needs most sitting to counsel that person to understand it is always good to assign that person to the same gender. If it is a woman assign her to a woman counsellor if it is a man assign him to a men counsellor it is very important and we don't entertain counseling an opposite gender for more than two times. Okay and also in healthy setup maybe like if at all you're the only person who need to help this person there's no other ministry leaders or there's no one else to minister to help this person and if you're married it is always good for you to keep your wife along with you. And the same applies to the women it is always good for you to keep your husband with you when you're ministering and talking to an opposite sex. And also while praying when we are praying in the church yes there will be many people coming towards us and asking to pray so when we pray we need to impart from a distance. But leaving you know we need to impart from a distance and if at all yes some places sometimes we feel like we need to lay our hands so even when we lay a hand it is always good to lay hand on the head for the opposite sex. And if at all you are when you're praying if they say that there's a pain on my shoulder or my back whichever place they say it's not good for us to lay our hands. Instead we can ask another woman if a man if a pastor is ministering a male pastor is ministering and there's a woman who's come with a stomach pain or some kind of ailment it is always good not to lay your hand on that person. But then you can ask another women minister women or another leader women leader from the church to come and lay their hands on that women and you pray and impart from distance. God is the healer it's not me God is the healer and God heals. This is just to safeguard us and leave the mentoring women to another women as we already discussed and lead women ministers correctly. So as a pastor or a leader of a local church and ministry God will raise many women who are serving and providing leadership under us in various aspects. For example, in our own church we have a children church pastor. Okay and we have many many you know ministry like you know we have missions director as pastor Nancy a children's church pastor as pastor Selena maybe the first years made not know as she was teaching in the last year. Yes, she will be teaching in the next semester so we can meet her she was a children church pastor in many areas, you know, like for media we had before women as a ministry head. So different and we also had, you know, administrator as a woman so many areas we had as a woman as in charge was the leader even now we have many areas and we see them gifted. And we see the anointing that they flow in that area it's so beautiful. But as a pastor, how pastor can relate to this ministry leaders the women in the church. They are married. Okay, they all are married. Not all some of them. Yes, I'm married but how pastor can minister to women who's already married. We need to remember as a pastor we need to remember that this person is married and she's also serving the church. Okay, so what we can do is, we need to remember that her husband is the head of her and we are not the head. So as a pastor, we have certain boundaries where we can minister, we can step into certain areas, but we need to give her the instruction and guidance when it comes to certain areas in the ministry, but not beyond that. It is her husband's responsibility to take care of her and talk to her and handle certain issues. So as a pastor, we need to be very careful not to step into any kind of personal boundaries other than the ministry areas that we can share and discuss where you can provide your guidance you need to stop with that itself. As a women ministry, we need to have certain timings also we meet in the office we talk to them and leave it there. No, taking them into a private place or not taking them individually trying to meet up with that person. No, we don't do that. And also we encourage all the women ministers to, you know, be accountable to your husband, because the Bible teaches that an Ephesians 522 we see that wives suffered your own husband has to the Lord. And also some of the areas where we see at APCA pastor being very careful is in this he's been very helpful, but at the same time he's very careful. You don't cross any personal boundaries. He at our church office intentionally we have all our cabins made out of glass which is transparent. So if he had to meet with any women, he meets in the cabin, but it is visible everyone can see whom he's interacting to talking to. In the same way, if we maintain it is very healthy, even at a Bible college when I had to interact and talk to any of our opposite sex students, I make sure that I'm not alone with that student and make sure that other students are also around. It's a very big cabin or a hall. So I'll say some of the students just stay around here as I talk and interact with this person. So intentionally we make people to stay around, be around. There's no way one on one will happen with the opposite sex, not more than two to three times or not happening privately in a secured place without anyone around us. We intentionally avoid doing that so that we can avoid many pitfalls. Treat them equal. Treat the opposite. I mean treat the women equal and yet at the same time be gentle to them because that's what Galatians 328 says. There is neither Jew nor Greek. There is neither slave nor free. There is neither male or not female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. So we must remember that God's gift, grace, blessing are empowering and given to all men and women equally. So God does not have any kind of preference for men and women. But still in some of the churches and some of the, I don't know whether it's only the villages or even in the city I've seen some of the churches they are offended for having a women preach in the church. How can a woman preach? She needs to cover her head. She should not be speaking in the church. They take out one verse which Paul shared out of context and they apply it everywhere else and they dominate women. So that is not something healthy. We need to take the scripture and interpret it in the right way. Even if we try to do that, they are not in the place to accept it. So we don't have to get into any kind of argument because that is what they believe in. But then as a ministry leader, as a growing ministry leader, each of us should be mindful that God has blessed each one with the gift, grace and blessing. And God has given that to men and women equally. So we should not dominate or we should not consider ourselves inferior or lower, but then give them the equal opportunity. Considering that we all are on the same level ground. So both men and women are the hairs together of grace of life. This is what Peter says in 1 Peter 3.7. So we need to treat both men and women as equal. We are providing opportunities to serve, lead, carry responsibility and so on. So when we serve in the local church and the ministry, we need to see how we conduct ourselves with the ministry leaders, women and also with the believers. We need to recognise the strength and weakness and at the same time we need to honour them with all respect. So next is both men and women have emotional needs. For example, there are common emotional needs when it comes to affection, appreciation, admiration or whichever area that the person is going through. So each individual may find some of these very important for them. So one thing, you know, Pastor has written in his book that, you know, one thing that he does not do is comment in opposite sex about her beauty or about her clothing. Okay, he will leave that to, if she's a married woman, he'll leave that to her husband or to another woman in the church or in the ministry to compliment. We as a ministry leader should not be having any kind of loose conversations like this. Be very careful because these type of talks can lead to much greater pain. So to avoid those pitfalls, we don't have to have any kind of comment as such. But then we can, in a healthy way, we can appreciate how they serve. We can appreciate where they lead. But we don't have to appreciate about the beauty, about the dress, which can lead or we can lead into a different tangent. So intentionally, we need to be very careful in how we speak and connect ourselves with another woman. So as a married man or a pastor or a Christian leader, here are some things that we should avoid doing for many ladies. Okay, something that I already discussed. Avoid engaging into too much conversation with a lady. Let a husband or other ladies do this for her. And avoid trying to be close companion or an emotional support for a lady. Let a husband or other ladies do this for her. Okay, if she's not married. So if she's married or husband will be there. But what if she's single? Even if she's single, be very careful. Be very careful not to be emotional support to anyone. As I said, if you're counseling, just do it once or twice. After that you need to lead her to a woman counselor no matter how emergency it is. Intentionally avoid it. Because there are many families broken because of this. Many pastors family have been separated and many believers family have separated because of pastors stepping beyond their limit. Beyond the boundary what has been asked for. They stepped into a believers personal family boundaries and many families have been separated and pastors family have been separated and there are many pitfalls. Some of them are unable to recover from that. So we need to avoid such pitfalls. And have a personal self-defense plan. So when you're praying for a lady. As I said, you need to lay hands on her head. And if at all in any area we can ask somebody else to be there to lay hands on them and they and avoid always maintain a healthy distance avoid hugging. Don't meet opposite sex individually any at a private private place in a private discussion. Always have your partner if you're married get come along with your partner to meet them or if you're not married you're single but you're serving in the ministry. Go with two or three people. Okay. Go with two or three people. So you may think okay it's a rural area it's a village I can always go alone the problem. No. Always good to go with two or three people even if it is a city or whichever area you're serving in. There's always a safety. There's always safety when you are going with two to three people. Please don't go alone to any opposite sex individuals house. See to it that you meet them at the church office. If at all you do not have a church office meet them at a place where you know something like coffee day or a coffee joint and you know some place where it's crowded people are there everyone can see you. It's always good to be there but again I would say do not meet one. I mean personally meet with somebody ask them to bring along with them somebody you also be there with someone and avoid traveling with another lady together in a car as far as possible unless and until it's a life and death emergency. You know it is always good to avoid traveling with another women whom you don't even know it. It's not like other than your mother sister five or your cousins other than that it's not somebody else whom you I mean who serve in your church or serve along with your side to take them alone in the car as far as possible avoid that. It may be situation we can go oh it's raining heavily how will this person go reach home there may be many reasons but what we can do is we can book a cab for them. We can get auto for them somehow you know to see to it that they are transported well to their home than you giving them a drop as much as possible you can avoid and avoid some goodbye or a holy Jesus. Yes some of them take up the scripture saying in Corinthians Paul wrote like greet one another with a holy kiss again it is. It is good to be avoided in our situation in our in our time. This may not be very pleasing and not very healthy in our church. Yes some of the churches we see it's very common or some of the tradition or and yes it is an international class. I'm talking about our Indian setting but then internationally it will be very common to hug and kiss and yeah this is something that we tend to avoid because in our Indian culture it is not very common. And I don't know how to share it in international culture would that be right or what but that maybe we can take this as one of you can take this as one of the topic on a Thursday during mentoring our and ask faster on that. But then this is one thing that you know we can avoid to guard ourselves to guard ourselves because at the end of the day I feel the feeling is same. Isn't it so. Yes. So this is something that we can intentionally avoid and be on double guard during moments of great triumph or crisis, especially when we have sexes or crisis we need to be on double guard because this is the time when we fall. This is the time when we fall. For example, David. You know, come at an adultery with bedsheba is when he was successful. When he was very successful. So when we are very successful, we forget about our boundaries. And we relax ourselves. And when we relax ourselves when you want to rest is a time, you know, the we become very vulnerable. And it leads to, you know, lose our guards, let our guards down. So we have to be very careful the same thing happens when we are in crisis. Again, we are broken emotionally. We are hurt. We are drained and we are very weak and vulnerable. Again, we let down our cards. We look out for a shoulder to, you know, to lie on, be very careful. These are the times where we need to seek for our for yes, we need and help. We need a crime shoulder, but then seek from the same sex so that you can avoid any kind of pitfall. That's the main reason that we should have good fellowship with our ministry leader. So we know during a success and during our crisis, we will have some kind of ministry leader whom we can talk to and share our emotions with than having any kind of opposite sex ministering or seeking minister or console or being there next to us. So guard our affections very important problems for 23. Keep guard your heart with all diligence for out of it springs the issues of life. Guard your affections. Very, very important to guard a heart for Philippines three three says for we are the circumcision worship God in the spirit rejoice in Christ Jesus and we have no confidence in the flesh. We cannot take confidence in our flesh. You may be a very righteous man, you may be a very righteous man, you may be very gifted and anointed but regardless of who and what you are, your flesh is poor and it's weak. We cannot take over confidence in our flesh. The minute as I already said the minute we take over confidence on our flesh like I cannot fall in this area. I'm very strong. The minute we say that we are paving a path to enter into sin in that area. So we need to be very careful. I've heard many, I mean, I've heard a very big preacher share it. Share it in the congregation when he's preaching he says I have allowed I am accountable to my wife, and I have allowed my wife to question me in this area of women. And I've also told her to always be watchful on me in this area of women that I do not fall. So he has given that liberty to his wife that though I may be a minister of God, I may be a great minister. I'm rooted and grounded in the word. I'm anointed no matter how powerfully I'm gifted, but the area of flesh is vulnerable. At any time we may fall. And he says to his wife friend of everyone in the church, I have told my wife that you cannot trust me in this area of women. And I want her to be watchful of me in that area by telling that he's not announcing it to the church. Okay, listen, I'm very weak and women be very careful. You know, it's not that this area, everyone are weak. It is a common temptation where the enemy is waiting to plunder on the men of God. The minute we are aware that we are weak, it is good that we guard ourselves. We place certain boundaries around us. We make people, we are accountable to people. We set a watch over us, our life, the way we live so that we guard ourselves. We don't fall in that area. So see what are the ways that we could guard ourselves from certain areas so that we don't fall, discern and destroy any kind of soulish bridges. If you find any kind of soulish bridge with any opposite sex, it is good that we prayfully cut it, destroy it, which is not good. So with this we end this chapter. Yes, it is a very difficult matter to discuss and share. But then with all humility, we share this with each other because this is very important. It is one of the area as a ministry leader. It may be men and women, we need to guard ourselves, how we interact and how we conduct ourselves with the opposite sex. All that we do, remember we are the servant of God. We need to conduct ourselves honorable to God because our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. So everything that we do, everything that we think, every thought is not hidden from God because he knows everything. So we cannot hide ourselves in any way from God. When we have the sphere of God within us, there is safety. So I'm not saying that we will not face any kind of struggle. When we face, we need to come before God and ask God to help us strengthen us, help us overcome. And if we have committed any kind of mistake, we need to be the first one to come in the presence of God and ask God please forgive me, help me overcome from this area. The minute we acknowledge, confess us and acknowledge it and avoid doing certain things, keep boundaries, put boundaries, set guards around us. God is a God of strength. God is a God of restoration. He can restore us back to himself. So with that, at this session, I open up to the class to discuss, add, share, we learn. So anyone, just share if you have anything to share. Okay, so I understand that there's no questions. It's all clear. We'll end the session with a word of prayer. Can I request one of us to please lead us in prayer? Let me pray. Dear God, I thank you and I praise you. We welcome you. We welcome your presence in this place. Lord, I lift up myself, each and every student in your hand. Lord, we pray today all that we studied Lord on fellowship and on women. We pray that you will guard us from every temptation around us or father. You have called us. You have chosen us. Lord, I pray that your right hand will rest upon each one of us. Lord, you will enable us to guard a heart and our mind. You will strengthen us in the area that we are weak and you will be with us. Lord, you are a God who is mindful of good things for each one of us or father. You think you have a plan of a future to give us a good sexes. Lord, I pray, I pray Lord for each one of us Lord that you will strengthen us in the area that we are weak and we pray that you will guard us from every pitfall of father. You will warn us. You will rescue us Lord with your wings. You will cover us Lord and keep us safe under you. In Jesus name we pray. Amen. Amen. Thank you. Thank you. I hope the session was a blessing to each one of us. See you all next week. Thank you. God bless.