 Very good morning to you. Thank you so much for sticking with us. This is Y254 TV, your number one youth station right here. We are coming to you live from the broadcasting house here in Nairobi, Kenya. We are also streaming live through our website. And that's at www.kabc.co.ke forward slash Y254. My name is Ram Aguko and this is Power Talk. It's a pleasure being with you. And I want to say Happy New Month. It is the first of September, a very, very powerful month. And for those like us, it is our birthday month. So we really celebrate this month of September right here on Power Talk. And of course we value your feedback and we welcome you to be part of this morning show. And today we want to talk about matters concerning your relationship. And even as you talk about this to empower you on what to do, I believe that you will be able to get tips on how best to handle your own issues. Today, let's talk about how you can salvage your relationship. How can you save your relationship? When you get to a hurdle, is it possible for you to come and get a solution in order to save yourself from a breakup? What can you do to save your relationship? Are you struggling? Tell us what you think about this because this conversation is for you. How best can you be able to salvage your relationship? Today, let's talk about this. I am with Eric Jorrogue. He is a medical claims analyst and a wildlife enthusiast. Those are two different fields actually. Medical is my formal job. I work in a medical department of a certain insurance. I deal with the claims, medical claims. Now about the wildlife, that is not my passion. I actually believe all the wild animals in this all belong to me. Okay. Do you like animals being taken to the zoo? Do you like animals being given some form of treatment? No, not really, but it still depends. Because if an animal is sick, or a small chip, it's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. But it still depends. Because if an animal is sick, or a small child, a young calf, that is often that one you can have. But not really. I think they should be free just as humans as we are free. Okay. Thanks so much for coming. I appreciate it. And of course, I welcome you from wherever you are watching us from. We value your feedback. Engage with us. That is my handle. The official station handle is at Y254 Channel. And of course, make sure that you let us know where you are watching us from. Give us your thoughts and regards to this. Can our relationship be salvaged right here on Power Talk? Talk to us. Power Talk starts now. And of course, later on, I shall be with Cheryl Blessing, who shall be joining us in a bit to help us in this discussion because we also need a feminine voice. Sure. We will be joining us in a bit. But let's kick out this show, Eric. Yes. I don't know if you've been in a position where you've broken up with somebody and you're not a caroudi. I'm a rakhala. I'm a rakhala. What do you do to save the situation? Well, I would start by saying that if a relationship is to end, if it has to end, no matter what you do, it will have to come to an end. But also, I believe that if the two people involved in that relationship are sure and are committed to keep it working, I am sure that it can also survive. So now, you know, it also depends. I believe it also depends on why the relationship is ending. Is it a reason that you can go around or is it something that is a block and end? So the reason why you broke up can make you say that I want to go back or I don't want to go back. Yes, it is sure because there are some things that you cannot take. If you cannot take something from a person, then I'm sure you cannot go back. But if it's something that you can go around, the two of you, I think it is something that you can try. If you're committed, then it's something that you can go around because some things people do, you cannot just go back. It is done. What did you do when you wanted to go back together with your girls? Or girls. You are called happy. It is normal. It is part of growing, I believe. Before you settle, you have to learn here, learn there, get hard, hurt someone. Basically, what I tried to do is wherever I was drawn, because I have also been wrong. You just try to apologize, I will change, try and show you will change, try and see if you can get another chance. Well, those I changed, they continued, those I was unable to change, that was the end. It is normal. It is life. It is what it is. Let me get it from you. What if it is the lady that offended you? It also depends. What did she do? There is something that you cannot take. There is something that you cannot even go over. There is something that you cannot even go over. If it is something that you can forgive and move on with life, then that's it. But it is something that you are different. According to you, there is someone who cannot take, for example, being cheated on. There are others who can say, there was a long time of something just happened and you can proceed. So it also depends on whatever the lady did. In the times you have broken up with your girl, because I know people date differently. Yes. It is better that you have broken up. Are there instances that you have broken up because of the lady? Yes. I was done. I was done. You were done. I was done, man. I think men are hard to convince, especially when it is a lady that has made a mistake. But it is something that you cannot do. It is something that you cannot do. It is something that you cannot do. It is something that you cannot do with the ego of a man. It is something that you cannot do with the ego of a man. Because we are so hard to forgive, but we want to be forgiven. I think we are good men. We are good men. I think it is hard for me to forgive, but I want to be forgiven. I think a lot of people see that it is a bit open. So there are some things that she did. I did not forgive. But I am sure if I was the one who did, I would want to be forgiven. Now do you think that it is possible for men to change this kind of narrative you would say that okay it is hard for me to forgive but I want to be forgiven do you think that in order to change up I think we should I think we can but now the only problem we have is that matters of this relationship are extremely personal you see the way me I can respond to to an issue is not the way you can respond so I think that is what makes it so hard to change such a narrative but I think it's time maybe we can but I think it's quite hard because it's all about personal it's a personal it's quite a personal personal affair you know I think with the I think when you say but it is very common in the western in the western countries but in Africa as of now what if is a lady that has come into you the lady is coming to going on her knees and saying please Eric I beg you take me back to salvage the relationship will you whatever she did is the main point is the basic point but there's a man on her knees I beg you Eric it does not matter we as men we know there are some things that would just be clique it in your head and even if you are angry just go back to zero even one day you will not accept it is still it is still goes back to whatever you did because there are some men who will accept the lady but they accept her back just to take advantage but my heart my feelings everything is not fair how come kubari? it depends maybe whatever I cannot take maybe you can take whatever you can take maybe I cannot take so does not matter you go back then she repeats the same the same issue now you are completely broken the men like I said cannot take cheating even the thought of it even okay can you go back to a woman on bended knee to say I'm sorry to save the relationship I'm sure I would why not I would if I were to find myself in that in that scenario that it any bid I do that I would but so far where you are the one who made the mistake you are the one who brought the problem you are the one who brought the breakup sure but you'd go on bended knee yeah if I really needed that relationship I am sure to swallow my pride but so far you are going to come and go to bad or bad it is hard it's not it's not that easy see when I do a simp you are simp guy you are just simping here there are so many people started me there are so many ladies out here but it is personal at the end of the day I have seen men going on their knees and I cannot even judge them I don't know what that relationship meant to them so I cannot judge anybody I cannot judge a man who is going on his knees trying to please the woman take care of numerous dates do whatever you have to do if it was that important to you I would not personally judge anybody so far for me I have not gotten to that that that level but if I so or I found my friend doing that I would not judge I don't know what it means to him I don't know I would be maybe just but I would not literally judge you know you can try to put some things but I don't think I would I don't think I would really judge you wouldn't I know people people have issues out here so let me get it from you Eric yes I love the fact that you're saying that you wouldn't judge no if a man comes to you and asks you what should I do to salvage my relationship as a man let's talk to the men yes what should men do to save their own relationships just a few tips to someone who is watching you today now what I think that is that should be obvious I think or I want to believe that should be obvious is one thing about men especially as Africans we do not take liability even of mistakes we have made that as clear as the day so I think one of the things that we can do is learn to be apologetic learn to think about the other person learn about to understand and take it that even the ladies also have feelings so I think one of the basics that is that when you are wrong also apologize yes when apologize yes that I think would be one of the one of the cases and I know and you do it that's a place where men find that is where that is the narrative anyway that's why I'm going to be judge because I don't know if any madam or corange I don't know what that particular element is okay let me now now even as as as we continue remember from wherever you are watching us from engage with us we value of feedback let us know where you're watching us from tell us what you think about this do you agree with what Eric is saying do you feel we need to challenge some of these notions and belief systems tell us what you think about this that's like his part of show tag me up from a Google at why 254 channel is official station handle and of course head over to Twitter and and of course drop in your comments there to go to Facebook like the page follow and drop in your comments let us know where you're watching us from of course I had mentioned earlier on that Cheryl blessing will be joining us today and one thing that I must I must say my even if it comes to to going on on on the knee I'm a demon am I pig am a goat he has to come back miss Kexama madam new in you madame knew anything and and and and at the summit you're coming up with a fish Marry Marry Or when you click out of the print it will be a mess Marry That is a common narrative Can you go on bended knee just to save your relationship? Where? That's tricky I don't think I can At least you agree On my knees Yes You are saying Eric I beg you Please come back to me We belong together You are my first and only love You are my one true love Eric I beg you Can you? I don't think so Because what am I getting from this relationship That I have to go on my bended knees To beg to be taken back And if a man goes on his knees to take you back Do you accept it? It depends on what happened to cause the breakup If there are some situations like maybe if he is abusive Maybe he is cheating Some extreme situations then there is no way Even if you call my people Even if you go to our place There is no way But then there are some petty issues That probably if you do that It may be coming from a genuine place So I'd consider it So is it okay for a man to kneel before a woman? Yes you have to kneel to ask her to marry you Is it okay for a woman to kneel before a man? It depends on the culture No Eric what do you think about it? Not really Because she needs the whole thing Maybe it is a petty issue as she said She should kneel and ask for forgiveness But you've just said you wouldn't take her back It depends Still it depends Because there are things that you can do It does not make sense Actually even kneeling will make me more frustrated Because why? You did something so bad Then you come back kneeling I wish I didn't see you I don't know I don't know I don't know Now I want us to go deeper Cheryl thanks so much for taking time to join us Thank you Thank you so much I apologise for coming in late No you are good You are good Men always lead He said So I say I don't know because I am too Ram 2022 I don't know I want us to get into the unique gritties of this issue Can a relationship be salvaged? Let's talk about cheating When someone cheats in your relationship Can you salvage it? Cheating is so It goes so deep Because you as the recipient Of whatever happened First it will torment you And you will keep wondering why did it happen What did I do wrong Where did the mis come in Or what was this person offering that I wasn't So I think cheating Cheating is tricky Because why did you cheat first of all Is this a serial cheater Have they done it so many times before Was it a one time thing What cost the cheating So I think when you ask all those questions And you find that Maybe a situation was unintentional Because the truth is there are situations where It happens And the person did not premeditate cheating Or that was not in their intentions So situations like that you might consider Listening and also the reaction Of someone afterwards So when it was not premeditated When you did not plan it You might consider that Depending on the events that happened Prior to it Because in my belief Men are attracted to physical appearance So maybe you are out with your boys You're drinking, you're having fun Someone comes in and they try Because when women want a guy They most probably will get a guy So maybe someone tried and tried and tried And they got you in a position where you're vulnerable And maybe you slipped up Situations can be considered But then generally I think cheating is Cheating is one of those cardinal scenes In relationships So you're saying cheating has levels Yeah there are people who are just serial cheaters Like it's just in them And then there are people who are loyal And a situation happened So let's take both scenarios Can a relationship be salvaged In either of the scenarios I think if someone is a serial cheater If it happens often That cannot be salvaged Because if they keep going outside Knowing that it affects you And they do nothing at all to stop it Then they do not care for you They do not really Now in the case where someone was just Has always been faithful And one day just things happen And they cheated on you That can't be salvaged I think to some degree it can be Yes Eric Yes There is no according to me And to many men I know they are out there They will back me up There are no levels If a lady cheats my friend That's all You know the problem is cheating There are no levels of cheating Cheating is cheating You know the problem is cheating It breaks one of the strongest pillars Of that friendship That is trust Yes Cheating goes straight to trust And now the ladies are not like men We can see a beautiful girl And I will go and try And maybe she will give in But I believe before a lady Goes ahead and cheats with another person It is not a one time thing It is something she has thought about She has fought within herself Even a man Maybe even more No I am saying what if it is In the case of a man The man that cheated He also thought of it before Men most probably As she said I can go out with my boys And in the club I see a hot girl and I approach However, whichever way she accepts But that is premeditated Because if you see a girl at the club And you think I would like to hit on her It is not premeditated It is I have found that I am just going to try I am just going to try my luck Why are you trying your luck When you are committed to someone else As you said Let me know That they are checking your mic As you quickly do that As I do that Sherry let me ask you this And then we will come back to that aspect In the case where A man cheats on you And then he apologizes And says I am sorry And you accept him Because you love him And then you decide to move forward With that particular relationship again And it becomes problematic Because every time you You check his phone It is with the same lady That he once cheated on you with What is it? You live It is that simple Because if a guy cheated on you With one specific person And they keep in touch Even after you found out And you talked about it And you expressed how it affected you That guy is interested in that lady And he does not care how you feel Or how it affects you You just... Don't leave me Let me tell you That's manipulation first of all I believe when someone constantly says Maybe if I make a mistake And we are together If I make a mistake And I consciously know That it's going to affect you And I know if I say I love you I want this I will change You're going to stay And I do that over and over again While still making the mistake That I know is affecting you That is manipulation You do not stay where you do not Feel appreciated If someone is keeping in touch With someone who they've had A sexual relationship with And you expressed that You're uncomfortable with this You do not want this to go on And they said that change But then they maintained the communication Then go leave Run as fast as you can From that relationship Because it will never end That's the truth You cannot salvage it You cannot salvage it Because... What happened to love? What happened to... No, let me tell you Love is just one factor In a relationship There are so many things And you yourself Know what you bring to the table You value yourself as a human being And if you feel like This guy does not see the same in you Or he's interested in someone else Who's probably offering him something different Let him go and explore that That is my thought Yes You're talking about... Actually, for your case Let's reverse it It's a lady now For her case it was a man For you it was a lady A lady once cheated on you with some guy And then bad eye you still find her Talking to the same guy I think that will break you as a man That one will completely break you as a man That is why I said For example, for my case And many other people I know If a lady cheats That is the end Don't do it for the second blow The third blow, the fourth blow And I don't know if you have men outside Who have been cheated on I've not experienced that though I think I'm lucky to have You have not experienced that Or maybe I didn't know I didn't find out Or you didn't find out Or maybe I didn't find out You know you can never say never Maybe there was someone who never found out I don't know if you have been cheated on These people Where did you go? It is possible someone Possibly managed You never found out But as far as I know for my case I have never I don't know if you have been cheated on I don't know if you have been cheated on I don't know if you have been cheated on They do it and they do it so slick So cheating You're saying Can never be salvaged Once someone has cheated on you You move on No, because as I was saying before Before they might go on an issue Ladies, most of the time They take more time They take a lot They invest themselves a lot Before making a decision That I have a man But I will go out And do something else with another man It is as Even if you can say that Men have pre-meditated Sometimes men will cheat by chance Just a chance came up You are not even planned Anywhere Do you know even men can Men even cheat with You can cheat with someone I don't even know her name You will come to find out her name later But for the ladies It happens It happens He is an expert No, I know these things I talk to people No, not myself I am a very good person You will understand But I know It happens With your boys in the club You don't even know In the morning He is telling you By the way I won't be with someone I don't even know her name I can't even remember her name It happens But for the ladies You will come to find out her name You will come to find out her name Even if you don't know her name You will come to find out her name Let me tell you something Let me tell you something I will tell you something I will tell you something If anyone is drunk And he sports an opportunity He will come to find out her name Just trying to be honest But let me ask If you are saying it in that situation Then is that not premeditated If you are with Eric You are with your boys You are with him You are texting me You are talking You believe he is premeditated Yeah, but then Let me tell you In that situation that I have given You sport someone walking in He is looking fine, yes All that You knew going into your relationship That they are other women They are more attractive women Than you women If you sit in that club Knowing that you have a girlfriend or a wife And then you sport someone I love when you tell your boys Hey, you are malice and misafi Let me try and get that Is that not premeditated You have thought about it Before going to that situation Knowing that If anything happens You will be cheating Okay, to start with I don't want to be To get it wrong I am not trying to justify But then cheating Is a good thing I was going to say No, no, no It happens But that does not mean it is the right thing No, it is It is not the right thing All I am saying Is that the levels that men And women invest in Before they cheat It is very different It can take just the fact that I have seen I didn't even know she is coming I didn't even know But for the lady Most of them she will have thought about it Once, twice Is it the right thing Is it not the right thing And most of the time you find They even have invested their emotions That is why by the time The lady is cheating She herself is gone Now, let's conclude on the cheating part And then move on to something else But in conclusion For someone who has really invested In their relationship And they get cheated on What do they do? They break They break Even after investing They break Actually the investing part Is what makes you break Because the more you invest in something The more the disappointment If it comes to failure All right What do you do? After investing so much In the relationship You get cheated on Should you salvage it? I think you should ask yourself Is it worth it? Is it worth being salvaged? Study the situation Know your partner You know what happened Find all the facts And then ask yourself Is it worth it? If the answer is yes Try and salvage it Because trust will take time To rebuild But you can't rebuild it So, yeah That's my opinion Okay Let's move on to something else Money And someone may wonder How is money coming up When you talk about Salvaging relationships Now this is the scenario That I want to paint Because I know somebody Is going through that Sure You're in a relationship where This guy Never shares his financial Or his assets with you How can I buy money? How can I do shopping? How can I rent? How can I pay my rent? He doesn't take you out And he's what I want to call A stingy man From the Stingy Men Association He's a member When money becomes an issue In a relationship Can that relationship Be salvaged? How can I pay my rent? The guy doesn't share money Or it is a woman Who doesn't share money When the guy is low Share it I think you should leave And I don't think I don't think it can be salvaged Wait All the tea You said When someone cheats on you You can stay But when someone doesn't Give you money You should leave Let me tell you one thing Men are turned on financially If a man loves you And genuinely cares for you They will spend money on you Because they want you to look good They want you to dress good They want you to go to good places So if a man doesn't do that They don't really care for you Because you're not turning them on financially Or perhaps it's the way you carry yourself So, ah ah Just go Just go Just go Because even the stingiest men Will spend money on their women It depends on how much they care Or what you've shown them Or the standard you've even said In the relationship If I were to give you money Just go Just go Just go Just go Yes I somehow agree with her Because I know As a man if you love a woman You ought to spend Okay But now the problem comes When she's pressuring you To spend something that you cannot afford Now that is another thing But I believe everyone Despite the levels of your financial capability Think you should try You feel good when she's also happy She's But now the problem comes When she wants more Look at how she released In the past, someone must have really done a lot of work here Who? Who? Me You don't know It is you Could be Could not be But the lady wants manicure Anataka pedicure Anataka saloon Anataka And I recently learnt That wigs cost even up to 100,000 shillings Yes My goodness I have to sit down My issue is I think Almost every lady wants that But the problem is Me as your guy Can I afford Everything that you want When you cannot afford And she demands for it Should she leave you Or just help the relationship And be with you How? I don't think They don't see any way That she can help save it Because if she's demanding And I don't have Even if she stays It means she'll be getting it from somewhere else She'll be cheating on you And that's where the cheating We go back to the cheating thing Because if she's demanding And where I am As at now I cannot afford Then she'll go to get it from somewhere else That is the problem Actually with social media these days She wants something She'll see with a friend from I don't know where She was taken to where Your guy cannot afford But you want it So what do you do You look for Someone who can afford Who can afford Alright Still on you Eric And then I'll come to you When it comes to issue Mamba Pasatobadu There is a guy that has been Conned by the girlfriend I'm a conee one So sad I think I think one thing If you are conned by a friend I think the best thing The best thing Is to live Or take her to the police That is a criminal That is what I love Why are you coning Why are you coning your guy I just didn't demand me I just didn't demand me But it doesn't mean I don't love you I still love you Can you work out that relationship If you love someone I don't see how you can Con that person that you love Because you know that If you con someone It's going to hurt him Or her For this case him So if I cannot afford Then you go ahead and con I don't know even what you are coning Because I cannot afford But if you find Your own ways of coning Let this find ways of coning Then you go to Matanga They are quite They quite Cook up things I know Yeah, they can That's true But if you found out That you have been conned I think For my case It is a red flag actually You see these things You are calling red flag Because if you are coning Then you are going to kill me What about you Sheryl Okay, I agree with the part That he said About if a lady is demanding Because you see the way he said If you like someone Even if you don't have much You can give her what you have Or what you can afford You will say I can't afford your hair and nails So I will take care of your hair The next time I will take care of your nails Also you have a negotiation Yeah, if someone does that Then okay it can be salvaged I don't think you should put pressure On someone to give you something Unless you can provide yourself With the same things And if you can Then You know Instead of going to another human being To give them pressure For something that you can give yourself Then just leave And do it for yourself Forget someone who can give that to you Can you be with a guy Who wants money from you No I don't think so Is that a relationship That you don't arrive It's tricky Because I feel like This is my perception The minute guys feel like They can live off you as a woman That's it They will never do anything To provide or take care of you It's going to be on you And I don't think long term I'd like to be in a situation where I am the breadwinner in the whole family Because what if we get married We have kids involved Now I have to pay rent I have to pay fees I have to do this, that And take care of myself at the same time So personally I don't think I would be in a situation like that Because I like a man to provide And the way I am very sad about The way you guys are saying She will go to get another man To provide for her Can ladies not Who have you been meeting Because Ladies can't provide for themselves For me to look like this I have invested in You are the woman No Ram Ram, please get to 2022 I think it is a very small percentage No, let me tell you Women these days are woke Women understand that If you do not give yourself The things that you want You will not get them Unless you're sexually exploited Or you're willing to lower your morals Women are working Women are billionaires Millionaires Working harder than men Because we want to give ourselves The things that we want I don't want to sit around To the house waiting for a man To pay for my manicure And pedicure What if you take three weeks Of your life I'm looking crusty in the house Why would I torment myself like that I will work to give myself What I want And when I get someone They should come in And see the standard that I've set By taking care of myself If they cannot get to that standard Then I'm sorry But you have to go If you can Then that even inspires A man to do more for you They will want to go above And beyond Because they know the basics You can provide yourself Let's take a break When we'll be back We'll take a look at more scenarios What can you do When you're trying to salvage Your relationship Now after this break I want you guys to answer This particular question When someone is in a relationship And they break up Because His or her ex Came back into your life Into their life I love now She's Saying that She's confused And she's trying to get back into her life The ex factor Is coming back What do you do Can that relationship be salvaged We'll talk about that much more Keep talking to us That's always a power talk show Let's take a short break We'll be back in a bit This is Power Talk Y254 Imagine Thank you so much for sticking with us My name is Ram Magukko If at all you're just joining us And this is Power Talk It's a pleasure being with you today Of course we are back With this conversation Today we're talking about matters concerning Your relationship Can a relationship be salvaged That is the discussion That we're having today And Timothy I don't know if you're ready With the comments You can bring them up Here In a bit Once we shall be able to get them We are going to Bring them up Because today I have a big screen here And we shall be able to read Those comments in a bit But before that Make sure that you Send in your comments Head over to our Facebook page I can see so many Comments here on our page That's at Y254 And once you get there Make sure that you do me one thing Like the page Follow the page Facebook Y254 Instagram At Y254 underscore channel Twitter At Y254 And of course subscribe Even to our YouTube channels Channel where our interviews are And of course this is The discussion that we are having today I am with Eric and Sheryl In this particular segment Before we go to Check what you To check what you people are saying On our social media handles We were talking about Matters concerning money Finances I want us to move to the next thing And in this part Let's talk about Our relationship where The problem Is The parent When their parent Does not want you Can a relationship like that Be salvaged You're dating a guy His parents don't want you You're dating a lady Her parents Don't want you What did you Eric Let me start with you Well That is A situation that a lot of people Have found themselves in Yes Maybe the issue is the tribe Maybe I don't know their family Or which doctors and go Or years ago I don't know their families Do they used to do work But that one I think that If both of you Truly Truly commit And Agree I think that when you have A chance of salvaging Death relationship I think even you have a chance Of even living together actually If who and who agrees The lady and the gent About how do you How do you salvage that How do you help that You know I will come and say My parents don't want you Because Blah blah blah ABCD But according to me Me who is in the relationship With you I don't have a problem I don't see a problem You're the person Actually I want to be with And on the other hand She understands me That I am not the issue It is my parents What the issue If you can manage To get that much understanding Between both of you I think you can salvage And you can be able To proceed with that relationship You proceed without Your parents approval Yes I don't know But meeting each other They did not even ask me When your parents Are meeting each other They did not ask me Why should they Ask me about my relationship Okay I know I was not born But anyway They did not ask me They didn't have your consent They did not have my consent Okay I agree with him Because it depends On why are the parents Not in an agreement With your relationship Is it something That's superficial Like the tribe you come from The color of your skin The piercings on your ears If it's something That's superficial That you feel like It will not affect you Or it has not been affecting you That's something That you can move past Because you're getting married To this person It's not your parents You'll spend the rest Of your life And form a family With a specific person So when you bring In your parents' opinions Whoever they want for you May not be Who you want for yourself May not be The best person for you Because you know Who you are for yourself But then there's some situations where There's this thing That parents always know best A parent will tell you This friend I don't like them And eventually you may not agree But then you come to see it They tell you that You know I've lived longer I know these things Yeah The situations where Morally Or who you are as an individual They feel like This person long term Will not be beneficial to you Maybe they will derail you From your path Or maybe they're going to lead you To do things that they know Will affect you long term If it's a situation like that Then maybe you can consider And listen and observe But then ultimately it's about you What do you feel like Is the right thing to do It's not about your mom Your dad Your aunts Your uncles Whoever That's just They're giving an opinion Because the situations where People are from different religions Like Christian and Islam And then the parents say I do not want you to get Married to this person Because they're from a Different religion That should not dictate Who you're with Because those are just superficial Things You can get past that And you can form a relationship But if it's something about Core values and an individual What the character is And if your parents Advise you against it Because they feel like It will affect you long term Then consider that Consider that Yeah Wow Yeah I think What a parent tells you You should not just dismiss it Anyway But you should think Go through it again and again And if you see that It's not something that Will surely affect you Then I think you can Proceed it Yes What do you think about Having a discussion With your parents And agreeing on What their problem could be I think that is part of Going through Whatever their parents Are telling you But I think it is still No no The discussion whereby Now you're saying Now that you don't want This person This hour What Which kind of person Do you want me to have Of course every parent Everywhere has an idea Of the partner He or she would like To have the son or the daughter Be in But I think that's why I say If your parents tell you something Don't just dismiss it But still go through it You as a person Think about it You as a person And now decide Because like now You know of a lady in Tanzania She's German She's German She came as a tourist In Tanzania Fell in love with the Masai culture And did not go back She looked for a Masai guy And they got married Now in that scenario There were actually issues From both sides Both parents Yes because now the Masai They ask you Bring a white girl Will she be able even to To adapt our customs Milk and cow Yes Is that even possible? I can't eat People on the other side They say I can't eat But they looked into it And they So both of them We can work through this Now that lady is happily married She tried as much As she can To conform with the traditions This guy also Understood her He does not Demand everything else Like the Masai ladies used to do She does not wear Those shukas But she does milk and cows She assist in making the houses And I think They are living a happy life This guy also a great guy I can only have one wife But I think It's doable It's doable It has some rate of survival It is All right These are just some of the issues That are not some of us Are facing Where you're wondering Can you salvage your relationship? Now let's go to Facebook Timothy Bring them up to what people are saying You can bring them up on my big screen To what people are saying On our social media platform Remember the Facebook platform is still on I'm seeing Prince Do you understand your That is Peter Prince He's saying good morning I am Peter From Mombasa Hi Peter They can Depending on how Locative The relationship is I think you said lucrative If I'm not wrong Yeah Isaac Nalyanya Say good morning I'm Isaac From Butera Good morning Isaac Yes our relationship can be salvaged By one Taking full responsibility When you are at fault Two Give your partner time To earn your trust back Three Try to visit every time And don't let the world Revolve over you Or around your partner Do some cruise I'm saying Who can come here Can the relationship be salvaged Who can come here And if you are at fault You can turn the line I'm saying tune in from county number 015 Counting number 15 I'm saying The Eric and Josh Yes it can If the two partners are not cheating If they are truly Trustful Honest and respectful Secondly a man should never Think of kneeling to a girl Since there's a man You are the provider Tune in from Alkalau This guy's been paying attention To the conversation Thank you so much Erika Alasama man should never kneel Don't even think of it Don't Butera Alasama is sweet See for man kneels for you You kneel to propose That's what I said So you should Simon blessing destiny Alasama Hi Simon Alasama Relationships can only be Maintained through trust If the trust is broken It is like a glass You cannot regain it back To the original state Asya kupenda acchana nae Nae nae kupenda penda nae Mtumisho mungo mtume Simon watching from Lakepe county Asam de sana Nanyuki town Gote watu ko Simon It is agu ko Not remove the air By brother Relationships can only be Maintained through trust And I want to Do you have another Nini Timoti Before I ask this question What comments are many there Jango as a good morning Can only be saved From ending by the inner Co See hello Erika Masama Arif's friends Arif's friends You're Nishem Yeah Nishem Gai A moment of sense People are not rush Supreme court to now watch Briar manane Ask me why Tell us Briar How can a relationship be Salvaged Tell us Feminist morning Good morning Tuning from Gaon Asam de sana This is Twitter Let's go to Twitter And this is Danny At Nellie Kinsley It cannot be saved Wow It cannot be saved Polen sana Now I want us to touch on this Keep talking to us Okay Keep talking to us Let us know where you're Watching us from And of course Tell us what you think About the issues that We are discussing I'm also seeing people Sending me some comments Spear Apak or Simon Jango Head over to our Facebook page And keep the Social media handles Active With value of feedback Can a relationship be Salvaged Now Let's talk about the ex Can a relationship Where the ex Keeps on coming back Be saved Sherry I think it can But it needs to depend On your partner Or the partner Whose ex Come Keeps coming in Cause I can be with A guy who is genuinely good And maybe the ex Realized that After They left So she keeps trying To come back Because she knows That she lost someone Who's good If I let something Like that affect me And it's coming From her end alone Instead of my partner Then I've really lost On an opportunity So first Is my partner engaging Is my partner Entertaining the ex Or what Is the response Towards the ex Okay So it depends On your partner It depends on my partner Yeah I do agree But it depends It depends Because you know The problem with an ex Is it's someone They had a connection It's someone They shared feelings So that is One of the most dangerous Passions To that relationship So when You are dealing With such an individual Do you think Your relationship Stands a chance Against your partner's ex As she said It depends With the lady now What is she doing about it Because especially for us men Especially after we lose A good lady We tend to go back We tend to try to win her back And most of these times They have even moved on To another relationship But you still don't want to Accept the fact that I lost Someone who was very good We tend to keep going back But now Is the lady What is she doing about it Is she reciprocating If she is reciprocating Then I think there is no chance I think that is one of the The biggest red flag That you can have If she is That you are the problem That you are making them Go back to your ex Could you be the problem What are they looking for Outside there That you cannot provide If she is reciprocating Then that means There is something Maybe she is missing Something that she used to get That she is not getting Or she is comparing She is comparing Out between me To the ex And I think the best thing to do Is just leave them Because it will keep on hurting you That is true They were there before Even you came into the picture So if completely You can see that There is some form of reciprocation From your partner I think the best thing is to Just take a bow and leave Take a bow and leave Take a bow and leave Because if it is your partner Who is actively seeking the ex There is unfinished business between them Let them finish that business And you walk away And if the ex is seeking your partner If the ex was seeking your partner And your partner is saying no And not reciprocating There is a chance She is done Or he is done But then the ex is not done So that is the ex's problem It is not your partner So you should not feel insecure Because this person is coming back If your partner is actively telling you That I am not interested I have cut all ties I am blocking him I am not keeping in touch Alright Let's move on I am shifting gears Let's go to social media And talk about online dating When you break up with someone That you met online Cannot be saved I feel like all relationships depend Quite honestly Because the people who have met online And they have successfully had marriages And lived together for 10 years And then the people who have met online And they didn't get through the first date So it depends on your relationship What foundation did you form? What bond do you have? Online Yeah Because I have seen situations Where people got married And they met during Covid Online Because there wasn't any physical meeting But then If you meet people online And then it is just dangerous Because it is a bit tricky You never know what to expect When you are dating online So what is your relationship? What have you and this person Formed in the period that you were together? Have you guys ever tried dating or not? Only dating I have Yes Are you? No Yes And I don't think I can You can go I think it is one of the biggest risks That a person takes in life Because I have seen men dating ladies Online And then you only come to find out That is your fellow man on the other side That is one of the biggest risks That I think I cannot And also for a person like me I think I like seeing my partner often I like being able to meet with her To be with her physically You know we are holding a conversation We can go out, we can do something I think that is something that I really consider Living online I mean online dating People even are unable to continue Long distance You are here She is in Eldorant There are a lot of issues It is quite a risk So personally for me it is not something I would even consider trying So long distance relationships When you are having a quarrel Cannot be salvaged Online dating When you are having a quarrel Cannot be salvaged According to the book of Eric I think it also depends Whatever you make What are you quarreling about What are you quarreling about Because it is the level of the issue Because if it is the long distance And you are quarreling about someone Who is cheating Then you see the chances of salvaging Reduce as you go by But if it is something that is petty Then that I think you can sort out And continue Should people maintain online dating In your experience Would you say that it is okay For already to just date online And try their luck And see what you can save there I think you have to be cautious Because like he is saying There are people who are just Scammers online There are people who are just Cut fishing online You have to be extremely cautious But I wouldn't entirely dismiss it Because the truth is Maybe your intention is not to get married To someone within the country Maybe you are seeking someone who is outside And the only way for you to get this Is through online dating Because you cannot fly out And meet this person So I wouldn't discourage it But I would say Be cautious Be extremely cautious Because there are so many things And so many people who are exploiting The online dating platforms So I don't dismiss it Because like I said Every relationship depends on the individuals Who are in the relationship So if you are willing to commit To this partner And you are willing to give it a chance Then see how it goes If you see there is no chance Of it surviving Then just let it go Okay Yeah Now A relationship where your partner Blames you And not themselves For every problem you two face Can such a relationship serve you? Eric I think I think If you have a person with a problem I think If you have a person with a psychological problem It actually is Psychological A person who does not take blame A person who believes that I cannot be done with On the wrong You have a psychological problem I believe one of the One of your duty in a relationship Is to make your partner feel comfortable And if Everything that goes wrong It's all about me You can never be wrong That I think I don't think There is no need What's your mind? I'm stressed You agree with that Sherif? I do Because the way you are shocked It is a psychological disorder It's called being narcissistic If you keep projecting your When you are being narcissistic But You don't want me to say That you are being narcissistic Or you will turn it around And keep projecting You are not taking accountability Which means Long term you will never take accountability Especially if it happens often And every single time This person will never acknowledge that I have made a mistake And I'm willing to change They will keep Slighting you into thinking So please leave And just quickly Move something else When trust is broken Can you say about relationship Where trust is broken It is quite hard I think that is one of the hardest things A person can do You know, someone just commented It's like a glass Even if you break a glass Even if you try to use glue And whatever It cannot come back It cannot come back to whatever it was But there is someone Who gave me this analogy And it made sense There was a time In our church That the You know what I mean? It was the Karnisa The podiums They are always made of glass If it gets broken Today They can fix it And that is glass It is Send it I want to give you actually So if you compare that If you say that When a glass is broken It can never be fixed How will they fix it? How will they fix it? Let me explain How it can be fixed I believe trust can be rebuilt It's very hard It will take time But it can be The Japanese have this technique where They use another metal Or like gold Or something To fix broken glasses And marble And the product Is even more beautiful afterwards So in my opinion If it's broken It's going to be very very hard to fix It's going to take a lot of time It's going to be tedious But it can be fixed And it will be beautiful after It will even be more stronger After I think if the partner Who broke your trust Goes an extra mile Even to make sure that you're comfortable Help you even rebuild that trust I think It is quite hard But I think it is You live with the scar Even if you rebuild it You always have a scar But life is about scars I think it can Especially if the partner Involves himself or herself To make sure that I made a mistake I broke a trust Now I am going to do everything in my power To make sure that his or her trust Is rebuilt again I believe it's doable Moving on Quickly Something else When you are in a relationship Where you feel like your partner Is ever busy Can you say it? Ever busy No time for you Eric you mentioned that You love a relationship Where you meet And you talk She is busy I am going for a meeting I am going for a conference I am having blah blah blah X Y Z She is busy If a lady He tells you that You know what I am going for this trip I am going to this place He is ever busy Can such a relationship be saved? No I believe people make time For people who are special to them Yes So even if There are people There are people who work Who have verities They are working for long hours You are travelling a lot But they make an effort They make an effort To meet or to see you They will fix you They will fix you So no one is busy No one is busy No one is busy The emotions themselves Yeah No one is busy So you cannot save such a relationship Most of the time They are busy Even with other people No one has time They are working That's true I agree with what he is saying Because When you love someone You genuinely want to be with them All the time You want to talk to them all the time You want to feel their presence Around you all the time So if you are not willing To make time for someone Who you claim to be in love with That's You can't save that at all Just leave Because Even CEOs who have Round the clock schedules That are booked all the time They make time for the people they love So if someone is not willing To make time for you Even 30 minutes Out of their busy schedule Then that person truly does not value you And does not want to be with you So I generally I am busy So anyone who doesn't make time for you Doesn't love you They should at least try They should try And you know If you are busy You can keep You can text You can video call If you are not doing any of that You just I am busy I can't talk Then you keep your phone away The whole day I have not talked to you Then the next day That's when you are commenting Or even responding to me Then you did not want to make time for me Because you can get five minutes Out of your busy schedule To even grab a bite Alright Quickly One last thing I have so many examples in my head When you are in a relationship Where you keep on getting Beaten black and blue Black and white Can you save it? No And in this case I want to be very very particular Because There are also men who get whooped Seriously Seriously Eric I don't see why you should stay In a relationship that is That has violence Yeah We have seen Especially of late We have seen what violence Is doing to people People are even Killing each other because of that Yes And also According to what I believe If you love someone Even if she has made A big mistake I don't see how you will get yourself To that level Of being violent People get angry You know Throw ads You can You can live I think You live You can I would rather You live I'll live forever Yeah Then Then Stay in a place Yeah Because I believe When a person is violent to you I think That is the lowest point They can get off There is nothing they cannot do to you You know If it's being violent Then that is the lowest Level Of a place That someone can place you Mmm You want to have a good life You want to have a good life I don't want to live Because I love you Mmm That's manipulation Yes I think you should live To save your life The way he is saying Live so that you can live forever Because The minute someone gets Physically violent with you The first time They will do it again And again And again And they'll keep justifying it By I was mad You made me mad I did this because I love you Eventually they'll beat you To a point where you You die They hurt you So why should you say Live You have to Save your life And save yourself Mmm Regardless of the situation Wow Let's go to Facebook Time is on our side I want to go to Facebook I don't have to go to Facebook Timber thing Can't bring them up We see what people are saying On our Facebook platform This is Eric and Josh And I say Yes Our relationship Can't be saved Hi Eric And I say If the two partners are not cheating Are they? Yes it can If the two partners are not cheating If they are trust honest I think the Mesoma is in there Mmm And I say Mesoma I appeal you Vanessa Vanessa And I say That guy has an extremely dangerous experience Ha ha ha Eric I don't have experience I may keep him here Oh you keep him here Yes, you keep him here But it's too boring To make him go Manjiku Manjiku I say If a man cheats on you once And he forgives him He will cheat on you again If a man raises his hands on you once And you forgive him He will do it again Let's finish with a quote This is by Tony Gaskins He said this But you can't save a relationship unless both people are equally invested. It takes a joint effort to make it work. One person trying will never be enough. Tell us what you think about this. That brings us to the end of this discussion. Thanks so much Eric. Thanks so much Sheryl for being part of this discussion. And thanks so much to everybody that ensured this show was a success. My name is Ram Agucco and this is Power Talk.